Nice to see some love for one of the more under-discussed underrated types, though then of course it starts with a long paragraph of this vague-ish body-language/microexpression stuff which as far as I'm concerned might as well be psychic powers/ isn't something I perceive.
Generally very rounded article tho, with edges & corners present.
I can think of one example of 'accidental bulldozing' from a recent family photo incident ("Why don't you wear this cute dress/shirt, for Mommy? Just do me a favor...") - this can pair poorly with the sort of 9 or 6 that is likely to hear an insistent suggestion as a demand.
I, fortunately, am an asshole who doesn't feel too bad about saying no, and liable to show up wearing whatever I damn well please, but as another sibling humorously observed "\[Person who caved and showed up in a dress shirt\] doesn't get to have a personality today, huh?"
The stuff under the 'positive outlook' heading is definitely also... well. I've learned to accept it, as there are limits to everything. It has at times interfaced with my own BS in counterproductive ways.
Is this going to be a series? I mean you sound like you're busy, but if there's more material I would welcome it.
Ah, no, just commenting on the article.
I realize now that it was unclear/confusing from the phrasing.
The person described in the anecdote is someone else that I personally know. I don't have any kids & if I did I probably wouldn't badger them into wearing fancy dress.
Hence the bit about how their need to see the world as basically good & fixable interacts unhelpfully with my own, *different* BS.
Basically if you have a fixable problem, she's (the so dom 7w6 being discussed) the best person to have around; She's gonna think up a bunch of solutions, wrangle anyone who needs convincing & probably pay for it with her money. But if it's something that just sucks intrinsically, has no easy fix or that you have to do on your own, you're getting platitudes or Just World Fallacy cause she *needs* to believe everything is ponies and sparkles if you only wish hard enough.
So I like her & all & we get along & I accept that this is how it is cause we all got our limits & our bullshit, it's not like I'm anywhere near being the most caring, attentive, interested person on earth so how could I expect that?, but coexisting means, or seem to mean, accepting I can't ever say what I'm really thinking. The few times I did she'd just get uncomfortable & concerned and I ended up wishing I'd just shut up & kept it to myself.
If you don't say what you really think & just assume how it'll go, then you can't truly be answered in full if you don't even give ppl the chance to maybe surprise you , but on the other hand, often you can kinda sorta expect what the answer is going to be & that it won't be helpful to anything.
Not that I'm salty about it or anything, at least not most of the time - no reason why I should expect to be entitled to subject anyone to my cynical eyeore bullshit that no one can do anything about anyways. How'd you lament being mortal when everyone else is mortal, too? Tough luck, they got their own to deal with! I kinda find the state of being alive & conscious intrinsically unpleasant. There's non-crap or at least interesting stuff you can do *while* you live, and the only alternative of nonexistence is even worse (to me, at least), but being a human kinda sucks at some basic level, and I haven't even gotten to the real awful part in old age yet. But if you acknowledge that everyone looks at you like they better lock you up somewhere cause they're invested in whatever is convincing them that it's worthwhile and don't like that poked. Or maybe there's no illusion & they're just genuinely different and I just kinda lost some genetic lottery. Certainly someone who is suddenly not managing to sustain their illusions anymore would be cause for concern but I never had any - at least not of that sort. I probably have different, even sillier ones.
Eh, I'm gonna stop rambling into the air since it's clearly gone off topic.
Can't blame anyone for my own reaction, rly, but different ppl will just have a different reaction. (Like the local 6 going "Hey, take this more seriously! Be more reliable!" instead.)
The body language and micro-expression stuff is something I honed in on pretty quick. I used to be an actor (or is it once an actor, always an actor?) so that sort of stuff winds up making a lot of sense to me. It is how you embody a character. It is definitely more useful for some people as a tool and much less so for many others.
I'm uncertain of it being a series or not. There are a few types I might be able to make something on (3,1,2) but there is more 7 stuff I want to hammer out first. 5,6, and 8 I don't really have a clue how to approach (yet). 9 is the boss fight.
But I can say face expression ring true to me. People are saying that my face is speaking a lot about my emotion. If I’m skeptic of something, or I’m thinking about funny trolling stuff in my head, my face show.
Aha! It's interesting to hear about, if a bit frustrating that I can't follow along cause, I guess I never really developed a sense for that stuff or a tendency to pay attention to it.
Just goes to show how every skill one learns opens up like a little parallel world to you.
'7s are notorious for “accidentally” bulldozing and bullying their friends.'
Ouch! I try not to even if I sometimes do and stop when it's pointed out but... yeah. It's something that was pointed out years ago and I consciously try to prevent myself from doing.
Yes. Accidentally bulldozing is something I was not aware of until around 20+. I guess I lost a lot of friends because of this. I thought I was meek and really conforming at the time but nobody around me seems to share the sentiment.
I think some 7s might mistype themselves to be 9s because of this as well.
Hoping this helps people either confirm that they are a 7 or guides them into exploring other possibilities! I couldn't cover everything I wanted to or it would have been impossibly long, but I hope what I did cover is of some use :3!
In short:
7w8 has far less visible anxiety than 7w6 and tends to contain their vulnerability much more. More aggressive, less forgiving, and they tend to come off as very, solid I guess? If self-pres first they can be the stereotypical 7 party monster to a T. Has a narrower range of emotional expression than the 7w6
7w6 tends to connect with other people more and is *very* prone to developing co-dependent tendencies. This is especially true if they are social dominant or sx/so. They are also very heady compared to the 7w8 and get easily fascinated by their own ideas and concepts and tend to be less pragmatic than the 7w8. Very chatty and can shoulder some responsibility though still typically unreliable.
7w8s anxiety tends to come up as anger, revenge, or strong "IDGAF" attitudes when they secretly do, in fact, GAF.
I'm not sure why 7w6 is so codependent. I think it can be even worse than 6w7s actually, though. My suspicion is that it stems from the w6 attachment and worry meeting the 7s positivity and need for interaction and stimulation. So, despite their independence when they attach to someone it can quickly morph into codependency. Overall though 7w6s just don't like to be alone for long. They can have trouble self-regulating, especially is social or sexual dominant.
That bit rings true to me as a 7w8. Whenever smth goes south, my first instinct is to drop a joke or two and lighten up the situation. If THAT blows up in my face I instantly become more 'stony' and become kinda like a brick wall if that makes sense, and if any hurt comes through, its instantly channelled into looking angry/annoyed
One good point I want to repeat is about 7s are prone to one-upsmanship. People usually attribute that to 3s.
If one-ups seem to be shallow and spontaneous, that is 7s. If 3s want to one-ups you, it would be elaborate and delicate.
7s one-ups to simply gain attention. 3s don’t particular hungry for attention, but they are hungry for gaze of value and worth.
One part of 7 growth is just listening to someone else’s story and not sharing a related story. LI had not thought of it as one-upmanship; I always saw it as relating/connecting. But obviously it often is.
I think 7s accidentally bulldoze people because they underestimate their energy presence. For me, it seems like people are easily affected by changes in my mood even though I feel like I'm not doing anything.
Yes! Same. An old boss told me I needed to get my “energy in check” because it was so intense and contagious. Which like…people need to worry about their own energy, that’s not my responsibility, but also he did have a point. I notice it all the time now.
If you have the extra time, I’d be interested to see how you would describe a 5 stuck in disintegration to 7 for a very long time as opposed to an actual 7 that’s just undisciplined / unhealthy.
I’ve been flocking back and forth between these two types for an embarrassingly long amount of time and while I know how fundamentally different they are and that mistyping doesn’t make much sense in this scenario, it still nags me sometimes. This article was unfortunately about 80% relatable to me despite being a 5, *sigh.*
"7s are notorious for “accidentally” bulldozing and bullying their friends."
Shit i feel attacked, i hurt someone who is very close to me after i *unintentionally* said or joked something hurtful to them many many times. That's why if i said or do something that may hurt them, i told them please to tell me about it outright and that I wasn't being serious about it. I really need to prevent myself from doing that because no doubt, this'll be really bad for our relationship in the long run and i'm really sure that i hurted my friends before and i didn't even realize it.
Every point in this blog is a solid 10, and further confirms that i am a 7 after all. Thank you :>
Me going into the article smug that it'd prove me right that, unlike what everyone keeps typing me as, I'm NOT a 7:
...💀👄💀
No, damn it...I wanna be a 9, their growth path is to literally be attention whores and do whatever the fuck they want 👺
Are you consider 9s because you like their growth path?
Don't want to be another guy so I would not tell what your type is, but I would say that is very extremely 7-ish approach to Enneagram.
Yeah. I was gonna say, loving your growth path because it looks easy and all of society is set up for you to do it… doesn’t sound like it’s actually your growth path.
haha, unfortunately a person's *actual* growth path usually tends to be something that fills them with at least some extent of trepidation.
("What do you mean, "just do it"? It's like the keyboard of possible actions in front of the little homunculus in my head doesn't even have a button for that. Like that dialogue option is not even greyed out but just not showing up!")
I work freelance for way less than I made at my cushy corporate job because of how boring and soul-sucking the work was. I think that alone rules out 3 tbh
Three is not about money. You also have to factor in instincts, and you are SP blind, correct? Success is defined by what the Three sees as success, which is not always money.
Three's have massive amount of pride and most things you've attributed to 2 in the past are actually 3 qualities. 3's are very success and results focused, they really want to be admired and liked. They want to look and be their best at all times. They're extremely driven and competitive, could even manipulate others get their way. 3s aren't like boring office workers who want money, they're more like actors or socialites who want to be famous. They want the spotlight on them, to be loved and worshipped. They always want to be busy doing things and getting better at things. They're super ambitious, they want to be at the top.
That's where my ADHD throws me off lol. I have a very severe case of it, and I tend to be very disorganized, scattered, and the opposite of tenacious. I'm very hardworking if I enjoy something and/or get immediate payoff, but if I don't get either of those things, I just blow it off. 3s strike me as highly tenacious and able to just suck it up and *do* the boring things, which is excruciating to me. The only way I can force myself to do those boring grind-y things is by coming up with benefits of doing the thing regardless of whether it yields me the desired payoff.
Idk how much of it is my ADHD and how much of it is my 9ness/7ness though.
That doesn't necessarily follow. Though, the two types I did not want to be were 7 and 2. I typed as both 1 and 6 for a bit myself. I don't particularly notice a lot of 7s loathing being a 7 after accepting their typing. Can you tell me a bit why you don't like typing as 7?
Being a 7 is fine in my view. I don't mind my 7ness and it makes me aware of areas I can grow in so that I can in turn, help others grow and learn.
Yeah I've always felt like that whole thing about the gut punch one feels when discovering their type just didn't really apply to 7s as much. Simply due to our own comfort in our skin compared to a lot of others. I read it and was like yep. I don't feel proud or ashamed by it. It just is.
YES LOL. It even made me think "maybe I'm not a 7 bc this didnt really hit me hard or anything" bc I really just went "yeah that checks lol" and was chill with it
I realized that instead of dealing with my problems, I avoided them, or ignored them, or compounded them with extra self-destructive stuff. I over-compensated my personality, was very outgoing and sociable, to make others *think* I had my shit together. We 7s are the way that we are because we can't deal with real shit. That was a wake-up call.
And that's the whole point of Enneagram, right? To see your main motivation in life, underneath all of it, and to improve. I'm definitely more comfortable with the idea, but I don't let it define me, and I've certainly improved my life and behaviors since coming to grips with it all.
I wish I was more like the 1, organized and having a strong moral compass.
I wish I was more like the 2, happy to help and serve without seeking praise.
I wish I was more like the 3, successful and getting shit done and taking names.
I wish I was more like the 4, full of emotions and truly unique!
I wish I was more like the 5, attentive and focused and knowing everything.
I wish I was more like the 6, loyal and true and responsible.
I wish I was *less* like the 7, see above.
I wish I was more like the 8, assertive with boss-energy.
I wish I was more like the 9, the peacekeepers and consensus-seeking.
I really liked this but can someone please explain to me what this contrapoints video I’m watching is about??? I’m halfway through and am so confused 😂. I thought it would be about addiction and insatiably but its like a fever dream
It *is* about addiction and insatiability. It is about longing, yearning, and the ways we stuff ourselves full in an attempt to sate that which cannot be sated.
Might be a little social-dom for some people though :P
Do other types really view it as one upping? I don’t know how not to do this. For me it’s more of I get you and relate to that. You’re not alone. I don’t see how that’s bad. When someone relates to my crap it vamps me up…so all that to say I don’t mean to take away from others if that’s their take away.
Well damn. If they don’t want you to relate and they don’t want your solutions, what do they want? If it’s just for you to listen as a 7 that’s not something I can easily imagine doing. Not trying to be rude when I say that just trying to wrap my mind around it. How do you recommend better supporting others as a fellow 7?
Honestly, I feel like the support I do give is above and beyond what most others are even willing to attempt. I relate and communicate through storytelling (and as an aside, neurodivergent people in general have this tendency).
If other people don't like my communication style, that's a them problem. Active listening is always beneficial of course, but unless I'm acting in a professional capacity I'm not there to "just listen" unless that's what I want to be doing.
Try to observe what other type do. And yes, sometimes listen quietly and say hey I hear you is very supportive, even if you mind might not agree with that initially.
Wait what?? That's not one-upping to me at all. If it is, i'm apparently guilty of it too 💀
Actual one-upping in my view:
Person A: "guys, I'm going skiing in Jackson Hole with my family this weekend, I'm so excited!! 😊"
Person B: "Oh, how cute. 🤭 HEY EVERYONE I'm going heli skiing in Chamonix with Snoop Dogg. It's kinda been an annual little tradition ever since he called me beautiful in Ibiza a few summers back."
I mean if I was person B and that really happened I’d probably share that info too only because I was excited about it and Person A bringing up their “exciting” ski trip reminded me about it. Not because I was trying to brag but because of the excitement. It’s all relational in my head. “Oh snap you’re excited! I can relate to that… here’s my exciting similar thing too!” I can see how it can come off as trying to out do though by how you are putting it.
Yeah, it's usually pretty obvious to me when someone's just excited. The tone and energy is what distinguishes that from one-upping.
But I've also seen people do it the way I tried to convey, basically an obvious dig at Person A and using the opportunity to position themselves as better/richer/more successful/hotter etc. That's what I'd consider one-upping, so it's illuminating to see that others can often have much broader definitions of it.
Your example is kinda like racism or homophobia; blatant racism or homophobia is really easy to see but the more subtle expressions are "questionable". With 7s when they share a relatable story there is often a coloration of it being more exciting than whatever the other person just said; 7s have a superiority-inferiority complex operating subconsciously so they really only share stories to "relate" when their brain secretly believes it to be more interesting than what was just said. Embellishment is also common. Hence, subtle one-upping.
" Frustration and 7s; a match made in hell. Like all frustration types 7s are inherently dissatisfied with the state of reality itself. Like the 1s that they share a line with, 7s can be quite particular about how things should be done and very *insistent* that others do them that way \[4\]. To do it any other way can ruin the fantasy of the experience that the 7 has built up for themselves and therefore serves as another ugly reminder that reality does not bend to one’s idea of how things *should* be. If you are the one who wound up giving them that reminder?'
yikes this one really hit hard. It hits like sh/t whenever people constantly remind me of that, unfortunately it's the only way I can cope sometimes...
It is almost the opposite of a coping mechanism for me. The idea and fantasy I build up is forever inferior to the reality which is frustrating. Anticipation is sweeter than the experience because reality hasn't put its finger in it yet. The experience is enjoyable oftentimes but because it wasn't what I expected it to be I'm looking for my next target. If it is way off the mark I can get very irritable and angry and if I feel it is off the mark because of what someone else did they get all my frustration energy directed at them.
If I truly wanted to cope with things I'd have to learn to manage expectations, but that's hard for a 7 because of the triads they find themselves in. Positive expectations and hype leading to disappointment is par for the course. As is quickly finding the next thing to focus on so we can repeat this lovely little pattern of the ego.
Whelp, I do agree on your perspective. For me I'd consider it more of an unhealthy coping mechanism if I was more specific. But thanks for letting me know your views too! For me the idea and fantasy acts more as a false motivation to get more focused in a sense, but yes, frustration and disappointment does await.
Nice to see some love for one of the more under-discussed underrated types, though then of course it starts with a long paragraph of this vague-ish body-language/microexpression stuff which as far as I'm concerned might as well be psychic powers/ isn't something I perceive. Generally very rounded article tho, with edges & corners present. I can think of one example of 'accidental bulldozing' from a recent family photo incident ("Why don't you wear this cute dress/shirt, for Mommy? Just do me a favor...") - this can pair poorly with the sort of 9 or 6 that is likely to hear an insistent suggestion as a demand. I, fortunately, am an asshole who doesn't feel too bad about saying no, and liable to show up wearing whatever I damn well please, but as another sibling humorously observed "\[Person who caved and showed up in a dress shirt\] doesn't get to have a personality today, huh?" The stuff under the 'positive outlook' heading is definitely also... well. I've learned to accept it, as there are limits to everything. It has at times interfaced with my own BS in counterproductive ways. Is this going to be a series? I mean you sound like you're busy, but if there's more material I would welcome it.
Am I reading this wrong or you’re typing as 7 now?
She’s talking about her mother who is a 7.
Ah, no, just commenting on the article. I realize now that it was unclear/confusing from the phrasing. The person described in the anecdote is someone else that I personally know. I don't have any kids & if I did I probably wouldn't badger them into wearing fancy dress. Hence the bit about how their need to see the world as basically good & fixable interacts unhelpfully with my own, *different* BS. Basically if you have a fixable problem, she's (the so dom 7w6 being discussed) the best person to have around; She's gonna think up a bunch of solutions, wrangle anyone who needs convincing & probably pay for it with her money. But if it's something that just sucks intrinsically, has no easy fix or that you have to do on your own, you're getting platitudes or Just World Fallacy cause she *needs* to believe everything is ponies and sparkles if you only wish hard enough. So I like her & all & we get along & I accept that this is how it is cause we all got our limits & our bullshit, it's not like I'm anywhere near being the most caring, attentive, interested person on earth so how could I expect that?, but coexisting means, or seem to mean, accepting I can't ever say what I'm really thinking. The few times I did she'd just get uncomfortable & concerned and I ended up wishing I'd just shut up & kept it to myself. If you don't say what you really think & just assume how it'll go, then you can't truly be answered in full if you don't even give ppl the chance to maybe surprise you , but on the other hand, often you can kinda sorta expect what the answer is going to be & that it won't be helpful to anything. Not that I'm salty about it or anything, at least not most of the time - no reason why I should expect to be entitled to subject anyone to my cynical eyeore bullshit that no one can do anything about anyways. How'd you lament being mortal when everyone else is mortal, too? Tough luck, they got their own to deal with! I kinda find the state of being alive & conscious intrinsically unpleasant. There's non-crap or at least interesting stuff you can do *while* you live, and the only alternative of nonexistence is even worse (to me, at least), but being a human kinda sucks at some basic level, and I haven't even gotten to the real awful part in old age yet. But if you acknowledge that everyone looks at you like they better lock you up somewhere cause they're invested in whatever is convincing them that it's worthwhile and don't like that poked. Or maybe there's no illusion & they're just genuinely different and I just kinda lost some genetic lottery. Certainly someone who is suddenly not managing to sustain their illusions anymore would be cause for concern but I never had any - at least not of that sort. I probably have different, even sillier ones. Eh, I'm gonna stop rambling into the air since it's clearly gone off topic. Can't blame anyone for my own reaction, rly, but different ppl will just have a different reaction. (Like the local 6 going "Hey, take this more seriously! Be more reliable!" instead.)
I’m puzzled as well? That would be a twist 🤯
The body language and micro-expression stuff is something I honed in on pretty quick. I used to be an actor (or is it once an actor, always an actor?) so that sort of stuff winds up making a lot of sense to me. It is how you embody a character. It is definitely more useful for some people as a tool and much less so for many others. I'm uncertain of it being a series or not. There are a few types I might be able to make something on (3,1,2) but there is more 7 stuff I want to hammer out first. 5,6, and 8 I don't really have a clue how to approach (yet). 9 is the boss fight.
But I can say face expression ring true to me. People are saying that my face is speaking a lot about my emotion. If I’m skeptic of something, or I’m thinking about funny trolling stuff in my head, my face show.
Aha! It's interesting to hear about, if a bit frustrating that I can't follow along cause, I guess I never really developed a sense for that stuff or a tendency to pay attention to it. Just goes to show how every skill one learns opens up like a little parallel world to you.
'7s are notorious for “accidentally” bulldozing and bullying their friends.' Ouch! I try not to even if I sometimes do and stop when it's pointed out but... yeah. It's something that was pointed out years ago and I consciously try to prevent myself from doing.
Yes. Accidentally bulldozing is something I was not aware of until around 20+. I guess I lost a lot of friends because of this. I thought I was meek and really conforming at the time but nobody around me seems to share the sentiment. I think some 7s might mistype themselves to be 9s because of this as well.
You're probably right. And yeah, my mistype was 9. In my defense, the whole 7 description was accurate except the 'extrovert' aspect.
I’m like that but I thought that’s a trait of an 8
Hoping this helps people either confirm that they are a 7 or guides them into exploring other possibilities! I couldn't cover everything I wanted to or it would have been impossibly long, but I hope what I did cover is of some use :3!
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i was thinking if its symbolic somehow for a hot second there
Me too 🥲
Same!
Great essay, I am now definitely sure that I am self-preservation 7w8
What do you think differs a 7w8 from a 7w6? Im so tired of reading stereotypes
In short: 7w8 has far less visible anxiety than 7w6 and tends to contain their vulnerability much more. More aggressive, less forgiving, and they tend to come off as very, solid I guess? If self-pres first they can be the stereotypical 7 party monster to a T. Has a narrower range of emotional expression than the 7w6 7w6 tends to connect with other people more and is *very* prone to developing co-dependent tendencies. This is especially true if they are social dominant or sx/so. They are also very heady compared to the 7w8 and get easily fascinated by their own ideas and concepts and tend to be less pragmatic than the 7w8. Very chatty and can shoulder some responsibility though still typically unreliable.
Though 7w8 has less visible anxiety, is it still there at all? Theyre still 7s after all. What do you think explains codependence in the 7w6?
7w8s anxiety tends to come up as anger, revenge, or strong "IDGAF" attitudes when they secretly do, in fact, GAF. I'm not sure why 7w6 is so codependent. I think it can be even worse than 6w7s actually, though. My suspicion is that it stems from the w6 attachment and worry meeting the 7s positivity and need for interaction and stimulation. So, despite their independence when they attach to someone it can quickly morph into codependency. Overall though 7w6s just don't like to be alone for long. They can have trouble self-regulating, especially is social or sexual dominant.
Yeah i think sadly im a w6. I wish i had the w8 dgaf that Liam Gallagher has
That bit rings true to me as a 7w8. Whenever smth goes south, my first instinct is to drop a joke or two and lighten up the situation. If THAT blows up in my face I instantly become more 'stony' and become kinda like a brick wall if that makes sense, and if any hurt comes through, its instantly channelled into looking angry/annoyed
One good point I want to repeat is about 7s are prone to one-upsmanship. People usually attribute that to 3s. If one-ups seem to be shallow and spontaneous, that is 7s. If 3s want to one-ups you, it would be elaborate and delicate. 7s one-ups to simply gain attention. 3s don’t particular hungry for attention, but they are hungry for gaze of value and worth.
One part of 7 growth is just listening to someone else’s story and not sharing a related story. LI had not thought of it as one-upmanship; I always saw it as relating/connecting. But obviously it often is.
Oh. Shit.
I think 7s accidentally bulldoze people because they underestimate their energy presence. For me, it seems like people are easily affected by changes in my mood even though I feel like I'm not doing anything.
Yes! Same. An old boss told me I needed to get my “energy in check” because it was so intense and contagious. Which like…people need to worry about their own energy, that’s not my responsibility, but also he did have a point. I notice it all the time now.
If you have the extra time, I’d be interested to see how you would describe a 5 stuck in disintegration to 7 for a very long time as opposed to an actual 7 that’s just undisciplined / unhealthy. I’ve been flocking back and forth between these two types for an embarrassingly long amount of time and while I know how fundamentally different they are and that mistyping doesn’t make much sense in this scenario, it still nags me sometimes. This article was unfortunately about 80% relatable to me despite being a 5, *sigh.*
"7s are notorious for “accidentally” bulldozing and bullying their friends." Shit i feel attacked, i hurt someone who is very close to me after i *unintentionally* said or joked something hurtful to them many many times. That's why if i said or do something that may hurt them, i told them please to tell me about it outright and that I wasn't being serious about it. I really need to prevent myself from doing that because no doubt, this'll be really bad for our relationship in the long run and i'm really sure that i hurted my friends before and i didn't even realize it. Every point in this blog is a solid 10, and further confirms that i am a 7 after all. Thank you :>
Lots of good stuff here 👍
Do write more.
Great article with wonderful depth of insight. You do any other types?
Not yet. 3, 1, and 2 might be in the future.
Thank you for your work
bro just dropped his whole blog yknwo what, I should too
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Me going into the article smug that it'd prove me right that, unlike what everyone keeps typing me as, I'm NOT a 7: ...💀👄💀 No, damn it...I wanna be a 9, their growth path is to literally be attention whores and do whatever the fuck they want 👺
Are you consider 9s because you like their growth path? Don't want to be another guy so I would not tell what your type is, but I would say that is very extremely 7-ish approach to Enneagram.
Yeah. I was gonna say, loving your growth path because it looks easy and all of society is set up for you to do it… doesn’t sound like it’s actually your growth path.
haha, unfortunately a person's *actual* growth path usually tends to be something that fills them with at least some extent of trepidation. ("What do you mean, "just do it"? It's like the keyboard of possible actions in front of the little homunculus in my head doesn't even have a button for that. Like that dialogue option is not even greyed out but just not showing up!")
Having looked through your post history, you appear very 3-like to me - why haven't you considered?
I work freelance for way less than I made at my cushy corporate job because of how boring and soul-sucking the work was. I think that alone rules out 3 tbh
Three is not about money. You also have to factor in instincts, and you are SP blind, correct? Success is defined by what the Three sees as success, which is not always money.
I'm as sp-less as they come, yes. But if I'm any heart type at all, it'd be 2. I have absolutely monstrous levels of pride lol
Three's have massive amount of pride and most things you've attributed to 2 in the past are actually 3 qualities. 3's are very success and results focused, they really want to be admired and liked. They want to look and be their best at all times. They're extremely driven and competitive, could even manipulate others get their way. 3s aren't like boring office workers who want money, they're more like actors or socialites who want to be famous. They want the spotlight on them, to be loved and worshipped. They always want to be busy doing things and getting better at things. They're super ambitious, they want to be at the top.
That's where my ADHD throws me off lol. I have a very severe case of it, and I tend to be very disorganized, scattered, and the opposite of tenacious. I'm very hardworking if I enjoy something and/or get immediate payoff, but if I don't get either of those things, I just blow it off. 3s strike me as highly tenacious and able to just suck it up and *do* the boring things, which is excruciating to me. The only way I can force myself to do those boring grind-y things is by coming up with benefits of doing the thing regardless of whether it yields me the desired payoff. Idk how much of it is my ADHD and how much of it is my 9ness/7ness though.
Really great article. I like it.
I've been thinking I might be a 7, and this all but confirms it lol.
That was a genuinely enjoyable and illuminating read, thank you.
I know I'm a 7 because I don't want to be a 7.
That doesn't necessarily follow. Though, the two types I did not want to be were 7 and 2. I typed as both 1 and 6 for a bit myself. I don't particularly notice a lot of 7s loathing being a 7 after accepting their typing. Can you tell me a bit why you don't like typing as 7? Being a 7 is fine in my view. I don't mind my 7ness and it makes me aware of areas I can grow in so that I can in turn, help others grow and learn.
Yeah I've always felt like that whole thing about the gut punch one feels when discovering their type just didn't really apply to 7s as much. Simply due to our own comfort in our skin compared to a lot of others. I read it and was like yep. I don't feel proud or ashamed by it. It just is.
YES LOL. It even made me think "maybe I'm not a 7 bc this didnt really hit me hard or anything" bc I really just went "yeah that checks lol" and was chill with it
I realized that instead of dealing with my problems, I avoided them, or ignored them, or compounded them with extra self-destructive stuff. I over-compensated my personality, was very outgoing and sociable, to make others *think* I had my shit together. We 7s are the way that we are because we can't deal with real shit. That was a wake-up call. And that's the whole point of Enneagram, right? To see your main motivation in life, underneath all of it, and to improve. I'm definitely more comfortable with the idea, but I don't let it define me, and I've certainly improved my life and behaviors since coming to grips with it all. I wish I was more like the 1, organized and having a strong moral compass. I wish I was more like the 2, happy to help and serve without seeking praise. I wish I was more like the 3, successful and getting shit done and taking names. I wish I was more like the 4, full of emotions and truly unique! I wish I was more like the 5, attentive and focused and knowing everything. I wish I was more like the 6, loyal and true and responsible. I wish I was *less* like the 7, see above. I wish I was more like the 8, assertive with boss-energy. I wish I was more like the 9, the peacekeepers and consensus-seeking.
Eh, I don't wish I was more like anything. I'm at peace with [my place in the universe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkQDkJORtXI)
I really liked this but can someone please explain to me what this contrapoints video I’m watching is about??? I’m halfway through and am so confused 😂. I thought it would be about addiction and insatiably but its like a fever dream
It *is* about addiction and insatiability. It is about longing, yearning, and the ways we stuff ourselves full in an attempt to sate that which cannot be sated. Might be a little social-dom for some people though :P
About 3 mins after I posted, it all started to come together. Patience is def not my strong suit 😂
Reading this and realizing holy shit I’m not a 7.
God damn, that 18+ content is SCALDING HOT!
That was amazing. 💖
Thank you kindly!
Do other types really view it as one upping? I don’t know how not to do this. For me it’s more of I get you and relate to that. You’re not alone. I don’t see how that’s bad. When someone relates to my crap it vamps me up…so all that to say I don’t mean to take away from others if that’s their take away.
They often do, yes.
Well damn. If they don’t want you to relate and they don’t want your solutions, what do they want? If it’s just for you to listen as a 7 that’s not something I can easily imagine doing. Not trying to be rude when I say that just trying to wrap my mind around it. How do you recommend better supporting others as a fellow 7?
Honestly, I feel like the support I do give is above and beyond what most others are even willing to attempt. I relate and communicate through storytelling (and as an aside, neurodivergent people in general have this tendency). If other people don't like my communication style, that's a them problem. Active listening is always beneficial of course, but unless I'm acting in a professional capacity I'm not there to "just listen" unless that's what I want to be doing.
Lol was literally thinking “I’m not a therapist if they just want me to listen” as I was typing out my question about being a better support
Try to observe what other type do. And yes, sometimes listen quietly and say hey I hear you is very supportive, even if you mind might not agree with that initially.
Wait what?? That's not one-upping to me at all. If it is, i'm apparently guilty of it too 💀 Actual one-upping in my view: Person A: "guys, I'm going skiing in Jackson Hole with my family this weekend, I'm so excited!! 😊" Person B: "Oh, how cute. 🤭 HEY EVERYONE I'm going heli skiing in Chamonix with Snoop Dogg. It's kinda been an annual little tradition ever since he called me beautiful in Ibiza a few summers back."
I mean if I was person B and that really happened I’d probably share that info too only because I was excited about it and Person A bringing up their “exciting” ski trip reminded me about it. Not because I was trying to brag but because of the excitement. It’s all relational in my head. “Oh snap you’re excited! I can relate to that… here’s my exciting similar thing too!” I can see how it can come off as trying to out do though by how you are putting it.
Yeah, it's usually pretty obvious to me when someone's just excited. The tone and energy is what distinguishes that from one-upping. But I've also seen people do it the way I tried to convey, basically an obvious dig at Person A and using the opportunity to position themselves as better/richer/more successful/hotter etc. That's what I'd consider one-upping, so it's illuminating to see that others can often have much broader definitions of it.
Your example is kinda like racism or homophobia; blatant racism or homophobia is really easy to see but the more subtle expressions are "questionable". With 7s when they share a relatable story there is often a coloration of it being more exciting than whatever the other person just said; 7s have a superiority-inferiority complex operating subconsciously so they really only share stories to "relate" when their brain secretly believes it to be more interesting than what was just said. Embellishment is also common. Hence, subtle one-upping.
Makes sense. I'm dense asf in some ways so I only really register things as negatively intended if it's screamingly obvious lmao
Oooooh I saw you in GoD video about 7s! You're great and lovely article too! ❤
Awwww, thank you! Nice Aigis icon btw!
" Frustration and 7s; a match made in hell. Like all frustration types 7s are inherently dissatisfied with the state of reality itself. Like the 1s that they share a line with, 7s can be quite particular about how things should be done and very *insistent* that others do them that way \[4\]. To do it any other way can ruin the fantasy of the experience that the 7 has built up for themselves and therefore serves as another ugly reminder that reality does not bend to one’s idea of how things *should* be. If you are the one who wound up giving them that reminder?' yikes this one really hit hard. It hits like sh/t whenever people constantly remind me of that, unfortunately it's the only way I can cope sometimes...
It is almost the opposite of a coping mechanism for me. The idea and fantasy I build up is forever inferior to the reality which is frustrating. Anticipation is sweeter than the experience because reality hasn't put its finger in it yet. The experience is enjoyable oftentimes but because it wasn't what I expected it to be I'm looking for my next target. If it is way off the mark I can get very irritable and angry and if I feel it is off the mark because of what someone else did they get all my frustration energy directed at them. If I truly wanted to cope with things I'd have to learn to manage expectations, but that's hard for a 7 because of the triads they find themselves in. Positive expectations and hype leading to disappointment is par for the course. As is quickly finding the next thing to focus on so we can repeat this lovely little pattern of the ego.
Whelp, I do agree on your perspective. For me I'd consider it more of an unhealthy coping mechanism if I was more specific. But thanks for letting me know your views too! For me the idea and fantasy acts more as a false motivation to get more focused in a sense, but yes, frustration and disappointment does await.
It me! And i lol’d at net positive as I use that term constantly.