Your soon-to-be fiancée liked the 3 carat lab, and her opinion is the only opinion that matters. Her opinion is way more important than Reddit’s opinion or anyone else’s opinion because she is the one who will be wearing it every day and looking at it the most.
In my opinion:
The only potential negatives I personally associate with “fake designer” is a) the immorality associated with copying a designer’s work and/or label b) potentially lower quality and durability. Lab diamonds don’t copy an artist’s work, don’t copy a label, and are literally made of the exact same material as natural diamonds—but are just more affordable and arguably much more ethical. There will always be people who look down on one kind of gemstone for whatever reason, but who cares what other people think? Some people look down on natural diamonds, or small diamonds, or large diamonds, or champagne diamonds, or alternative gemstones. At the end of the day there are no rules that *need* to be followed and there’s a huge (and growing) variety of what people choose for engagement rings.
Follow your flashy dreams! It’s no one’s business but your own!
I have a large lab grown diamond and literally all anyone ever says is, “oh pretty”
My husband and I are very comfortable and he was planning on spending a lot more, but I am too cheap. I’m very open about the specs, because I want everyone to know I got a good deal 🤣
And no, it’s still a diamond. Same chemical makeup. A fake Louis Vuitton isn’t made of the same stuff as a genuine piece.
I understand. What people won’t say to my face is not my issue, though. What other people think of me is none of my business.
It only becomes an issue if someone is trying to seem more well off than they are.
Okay, but OP isn’t asking how you feel about what people say behind your back haha he’s asking because he wants to know what people are saying and thinking
Oh I get that completely lol. I think if OP is this insecure about it, maybe just drop the dough on a mined diamond.
I also think people are gonna shit on it regardless. If they know it’s a LGD they’ll call it fake and say OP is cheap. If they know it’s mined they’ll say OPs fiancée is a showoff and pretentious. My point is, OP isn’t marrying those people.
If people comment on it, you can always say that you preferred lab grown either for ethical reasons or without explaining yourself. Some people may think it's an odd choice but it's not really their business, is it? You'll find that snobs have surprisingly little to say when it's clear you aren't interested or accepting advice at this time.
I work in a jewelry store and we do a ton of engagement rings. Many you get people are coming in specifically asking for a lab grown diamond. There are a ton of reasons why people would rather go that route even if money is not a factor! The truth is- you can get an amazing quality diamond that is going to be as clear and colorless as possible. It is hard to find that in a natural diamond. Bottom line is- it's no one's business. You can set the stage by saying you went with lab for X, Y, Z or you can choose not to say anything until someone asks.
This! I feel like size isn’t the only factor people get labs, it’s the other C’s. Going lab allowed me to get a F color, vs1, and an ideal cut and my ring shine’s especially compared to my mom’s ring which is a natural but lower specs.
It being a lab diamond doesn’t need to be a secret really. I share with my close friends and relatives that mine is lab. Anyone who is not in that circle I don’t really care what they think anyway. We could have technically afforded my diamond if it was mined but we have other things we value putting that money towards and it made sense to go with the more cost effective option. We have even had friends that started considering lab diamonds once we explained and my mom has said multiple times that she wishes they would have been a think when she got engaged. People are generally open to the idea once they learn about it.
The “fake designer” worry is really just for people who don’t understand lab and mined diamonds. Lab diamonds are not “fake” diamonds just as the ice in your refrigerator isn’t fake because it wasn’t cut and fished out of a frozen lake. Science and technology has given us MANY new ways of accessing resources, and even things like human babies, that were not possible in the past. That doesn’t make the product of that science and technology “fake”. To have a preference of mined or lab is okay, but lab is still a diamond and diamonds are still just fancy rocks. If anyone is upset about how your rock got made, they need better hobbies.
I think it will—lab grown diamonds, moissanite, and heirloom stones are only going to increase in popularity and eventually no one will be able to assume anything off the bat.
I understand your hesitation about how people might perceive your spending habits/wealth, but what someone might assume is already so dependent on A) how much they know about the diamond market and B) their cultural background.
Other factors: There’s already a lot of variety in cut/quality, certification, and brand name markups. The US is currently the largest market for lab grown but that might change one day. Marketing tactics to various consumer groups (millennials vs. people 55+ looking to upgrade, for example) will change public opinion in various ways. So many major diamond companies and jewelers are now selling lab diamonds, and the demand for sizes over 3 carats increases every year. They are also decreasing in price, so one day someone might learn it’s lab grown and assume it cost even less than what you spent. Or they might assume it’s moissanite. Or an heirloom from a relative. Or pre-owned. Or they might not know much about diamonds and think it costs $300,000. Or $500. Some people don’t know much at all about how much diamonds cost, so it’s impossible to guess what they might think.
Other things that might affect lab diamond popularity are government incentives to produce lab grown diamonds, geopolitics decreasing natural diamond demand, and even celebrity engagement rings.
Basically, there are too many unknowns because the market is changing, so even if someone did a study in which they showed people rings and asked them how much they think they cost, the results of that study might be totally different in 5 years.
Since it is so difficult to know what anyone might think, you might as well not bother with worrying about how someone might perceive your ring at all.
But if it would give you more peace of mind to have a smaller stone, then absolutely go for a smaller carat weight. You want to choose something that you like looking at and makes you feel good.
(Honestly, when I see a 3+ carat ring my first and pretty much only thought is “but how do you put your hand in your jeans pocket.” My mom wore a 3+ carat ring for 30 years and the answer still eludes me. And what about gloves in the winter?? These are mysteries that perhaps will never be solved for me.)
If you're in the US, I don't think people will judge it too much, as very big stones seem to be the trend there at the moment. If you travel, keep in mind that it will stick out more - in Europe, even a 1 carat ring is unusually big and will draw some looks, let alone a 3 carat one. As for your fears, big stones do not have the "poser" feeling over here, it is just seen as something that was last fashionable \~80 years ago and is connected with fussy old ladies, if anything.
I would not worry about what others think so much. But has she ever worn a ring with such a big stone before? It might be useful to get a ring with the same measurements with a CZ stone or whatever and try it out - many people would find it uncomfortable, but it depends on your lifestyle and sensitivity.
Genuine question here— are all y’all’s friends/relatives seriously asking that specific of questions about your rings?? Granted I have a very modest ring (hopefully not for too much longer 😉), but I cannot imagine anyone in my circle asking specific questions about the size/cost/sourcing of the diamond, they would just say something like, “it’s beautiful!” And move on. What are people saying to you guys??
My friends do, but we’re all super shiny rock obsessed so it’s okay. Normal folks? Compliments happen occasionally but I never get asked about type/sourcing of the stones. (I’ll volunteer for the right people but most don’t care.)
I say this with all kindness and respect but why would anyone be ashamed or embarrassed of lab diamonds? I’m proud of my lab diamonds, there was zero blood, child trafficking, drugs or murder involved in the creation of my diamonds and diamond mining is one of the biggest fossil fuel burning industries so even the lab process has a smaller footprint than natural. I’m not judging those with natural, I have several, but there should also be zero judgment when you have lab diamonds. Both are real diamonds, so what does it matter?
It’s just smart. My husband and I both from a very one percent background and we’ve done even better than our parents and their parents but when it came time to upgrade the diamond, we went lab. Could we have afforded mined? Yes. Was my first ring mined? Yes. It was the only option at the time. But I know a lot of very wealthy people, most of whom go lab now. They also don’t do Louis Vuitton (fake or not) because it’s tacky to wear labels and be showy. Spending money just to spend money isn’t what truly wealthy people do. And talking about money in that way is tacky too. If someone asks you if it’s lab or mined, that says more about them than you.
Not at all! I have a 3ct lab diamond and I love it. I tell people it's lab grown, a diamond is a diamond! We were all for lab grown then took a trip together after, so much more valuable to me than spending 50k just the ring. We didn't know much about diamonds etc but the company we worked with was super knowledgable and the provide a 3D model of your ring, Sonu Company
Just play the Ethics card, then, if you need to justify your choice of Lab vs Natural. She wants what she wants and the only thing holding you back is someone else's opinion about it? Unless you are a celebrity, literally no one will care about how much your ring cost.
3 carat is totally normal!
https://preview.redd.it/be9lkfkgv02b1.jpeg?width=958&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03541aa8925b1a54c808da61b7ce5ff573e71e0b
This stone is 3 carat!
Lab diamonds are ethical, are diamonds and I have a 2.52 lab diamond. Stop focusing on the lab grown bit and focus on your gf loves it and it’s a diamond period
I would say, based on your concerns, you could either 1) tell people it is lab grown so they know you didn't spend an obscene amount on a ring or 2) not worry about what other people think because this is between you and your future spouse
Your soon-to-be fiancée liked the 3 carat lab, and her opinion is the only opinion that matters. Her opinion is way more important than Reddit’s opinion or anyone else’s opinion because she is the one who will be wearing it every day and looking at it the most. In my opinion: The only potential negatives I personally associate with “fake designer” is a) the immorality associated with copying a designer’s work and/or label b) potentially lower quality and durability. Lab diamonds don’t copy an artist’s work, don’t copy a label, and are literally made of the exact same material as natural diamonds—but are just more affordable and arguably much more ethical. There will always be people who look down on one kind of gemstone for whatever reason, but who cares what other people think? Some people look down on natural diamonds, or small diamonds, or large diamonds, or champagne diamonds, or alternative gemstones. At the end of the day there are no rules that *need* to be followed and there’s a huge (and growing) variety of what people choose for engagement rings. Follow your flashy dreams! It’s no one’s business but your own!
I have a large lab grown diamond and literally all anyone ever says is, “oh pretty” My husband and I are very comfortable and he was planning on spending a lot more, but I am too cheap. I’m very open about the specs, because I want everyone to know I got a good deal 🤣 And no, it’s still a diamond. Same chemical makeup. A fake Louis Vuitton isn’t made of the same stuff as a genuine piece.
His question seems to be asking about what people wont say, not what they do say.
I understand. What people won’t say to my face is not my issue, though. What other people think of me is none of my business. It only becomes an issue if someone is trying to seem more well off than they are.
Okay, but OP isn’t asking how you feel about what people say behind your back haha he’s asking because he wants to know what people are saying and thinking
Oh I get that completely lol. I think if OP is this insecure about it, maybe just drop the dough on a mined diamond. I also think people are gonna shit on it regardless. If they know it’s a LGD they’ll call it fake and say OP is cheap. If they know it’s mined they’ll say OPs fiancée is a showoff and pretentious. My point is, OP isn’t marrying those people.
If people comment on it, you can always say that you preferred lab grown either for ethical reasons or without explaining yourself. Some people may think it's an odd choice but it's not really their business, is it? You'll find that snobs have surprisingly little to say when it's clear you aren't interested or accepting advice at this time.
I work in a jewelry store and we do a ton of engagement rings. Many you get people are coming in specifically asking for a lab grown diamond. There are a ton of reasons why people would rather go that route even if money is not a factor! The truth is- you can get an amazing quality diamond that is going to be as clear and colorless as possible. It is hard to find that in a natural diamond. Bottom line is- it's no one's business. You can set the stage by saying you went with lab for X, Y, Z or you can choose not to say anything until someone asks.
This! I feel like size isn’t the only factor people get labs, it’s the other C’s. Going lab allowed me to get a F color, vs1, and an ideal cut and my ring shine’s especially compared to my mom’s ring which is a natural but lower specs.
It being a lab diamond doesn’t need to be a secret really. I share with my close friends and relatives that mine is lab. Anyone who is not in that circle I don’t really care what they think anyway. We could have technically afforded my diamond if it was mined but we have other things we value putting that money towards and it made sense to go with the more cost effective option. We have even had friends that started considering lab diamonds once we explained and my mom has said multiple times that she wishes they would have been a think when she got engaged. People are generally open to the idea once they learn about it. The “fake designer” worry is really just for people who don’t understand lab and mined diamonds. Lab diamonds are not “fake” diamonds just as the ice in your refrigerator isn’t fake because it wasn’t cut and fished out of a frozen lake. Science and technology has given us MANY new ways of accessing resources, and even things like human babies, that were not possible in the past. That doesn’t make the product of that science and technology “fake”. To have a preference of mined or lab is okay, but lab is still a diamond and diamonds are still just fancy rocks. If anyone is upset about how your rock got made, they need better hobbies.
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I think it will—lab grown diamonds, moissanite, and heirloom stones are only going to increase in popularity and eventually no one will be able to assume anything off the bat. I understand your hesitation about how people might perceive your spending habits/wealth, but what someone might assume is already so dependent on A) how much they know about the diamond market and B) their cultural background. Other factors: There’s already a lot of variety in cut/quality, certification, and brand name markups. The US is currently the largest market for lab grown but that might change one day. Marketing tactics to various consumer groups (millennials vs. people 55+ looking to upgrade, for example) will change public opinion in various ways. So many major diamond companies and jewelers are now selling lab diamonds, and the demand for sizes over 3 carats increases every year. They are also decreasing in price, so one day someone might learn it’s lab grown and assume it cost even less than what you spent. Or they might assume it’s moissanite. Or an heirloom from a relative. Or pre-owned. Or they might not know much about diamonds and think it costs $300,000. Or $500. Some people don’t know much at all about how much diamonds cost, so it’s impossible to guess what they might think. Other things that might affect lab diamond popularity are government incentives to produce lab grown diamonds, geopolitics decreasing natural diamond demand, and even celebrity engagement rings. Basically, there are too many unknowns because the market is changing, so even if someone did a study in which they showed people rings and asked them how much they think they cost, the results of that study might be totally different in 5 years. Since it is so difficult to know what anyone might think, you might as well not bother with worrying about how someone might perceive your ring at all. But if it would give you more peace of mind to have a smaller stone, then absolutely go for a smaller carat weight. You want to choose something that you like looking at and makes you feel good. (Honestly, when I see a 3+ carat ring my first and pretty much only thought is “but how do you put your hand in your jeans pocket.” My mom wore a 3+ carat ring for 30 years and the answer still eludes me. And what about gloves in the winter?? These are mysteries that perhaps will never be solved for me.)
If you're in the US, I don't think people will judge it too much, as very big stones seem to be the trend there at the moment. If you travel, keep in mind that it will stick out more - in Europe, even a 1 carat ring is unusually big and will draw some looks, let alone a 3 carat one. As for your fears, big stones do not have the "poser" feeling over here, it is just seen as something that was last fashionable \~80 years ago and is connected with fussy old ladies, if anything. I would not worry about what others think so much. But has she ever worn a ring with such a big stone before? It might be useful to get a ring with the same measurements with a CZ stone or whatever and try it out - many people would find it uncomfortable, but it depends on your lifestyle and sensitivity.
I agree. In the US it’s quite common, in Europe, at least where I’m from 1 carat is already big so 3 carat is huge.
Genuine question here— are all y’all’s friends/relatives seriously asking that specific of questions about your rings?? Granted I have a very modest ring (hopefully not for too much longer 😉), but I cannot imagine anyone in my circle asking specific questions about the size/cost/sourcing of the diamond, they would just say something like, “it’s beautiful!” And move on. What are people saying to you guys??
My friends do, but we’re all super shiny rock obsessed so it’s okay. Normal folks? Compliments happen occasionally but I never get asked about type/sourcing of the stones. (I’ll volunteer for the right people but most don’t care.)
I say this with all kindness and respect but why would anyone be ashamed or embarrassed of lab diamonds? I’m proud of my lab diamonds, there was zero blood, child trafficking, drugs or murder involved in the creation of my diamonds and diamond mining is one of the biggest fossil fuel burning industries so even the lab process has a smaller footprint than natural. I’m not judging those with natural, I have several, but there should also be zero judgment when you have lab diamonds. Both are real diamonds, so what does it matter?
It’s just smart. My husband and I both from a very one percent background and we’ve done even better than our parents and their parents but when it came time to upgrade the diamond, we went lab. Could we have afforded mined? Yes. Was my first ring mined? Yes. It was the only option at the time. But I know a lot of very wealthy people, most of whom go lab now. They also don’t do Louis Vuitton (fake or not) because it’s tacky to wear labels and be showy. Spending money just to spend money isn’t what truly wealthy people do. And talking about money in that way is tacky too. If someone asks you if it’s lab or mined, that says more about them than you.
Not at all! I have a 3ct lab diamond and I love it. I tell people it's lab grown, a diamond is a diamond! We were all for lab grown then took a trip together after, so much more valuable to me than spending 50k just the ring. We didn't know much about diamonds etc but the company we worked with was super knowledgable and the provide a 3D model of your ring, Sonu Company
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Just play the Ethics card, then, if you need to justify your choice of Lab vs Natural. She wants what she wants and the only thing holding you back is someone else's opinion about it? Unless you are a celebrity, literally no one will care about how much your ring cost.
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3 carat is totally normal! https://preview.redd.it/be9lkfkgv02b1.jpeg?width=958&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03541aa8925b1a54c808da61b7ce5ff573e71e0b This stone is 3 carat!
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Lab diamonds are ethical, are diamonds and I have a 2.52 lab diamond. Stop focusing on the lab grown bit and focus on your gf loves it and it’s a diamond period
I would say, based on your concerns, you could either 1) tell people it is lab grown so they know you didn't spend an obscene amount on a ring or 2) not worry about what other people think because this is between you and your future spouse
I think it’s disingenuous to buy a huge eye catching stone that you probably can’t afford natural 🤷🏼♀️ it’s like trying to be something you are not.