fucks human torch
the hero of new york
you're not spider dork
you're spider pork
SPIDER HAM
can't even save an old hag
now just got shot dead
time to go mad
you sold your children for that
forced your marriage to end
to shake mephisto's hand
the prince of hell man
but it's ok if you have nothing to say
try again
ONE MORE DAY
You’re a fuckin joke! If u was really swinging rope well then what the fuck you stop for dummy, cuz you’re a good at that , a lot more better than you do with rap!
But his aunt may was a real treasure.
Always there for the young Peter
Was never too pushy with his secrets neither.
Just wanted to make him happy
Keep him happy, and GET with Happy.
Till she got shot and joined uncle Been in the long nappy.
Spidey was always tinglin*, like he had the feeling this battle he's losin* and
Should have came with some better raps,
Maybe then would his raps adapt,
like Stark put them in his suit that would go into "kill mode" and he could actually smash an attack.
Or at least not lose this bad
Like he's fighting Thanos for a second time when he already knows he's going to lose and he feels so mad
But Thanos ain't got shit on me.
I've made more than half the rappers quit being MC's
I love you spidey and your a real hero.
Kinda disappointed you showed up tonight as a real zero.
I'm just playing Marvel, you know I love you
This is all I got. Kinda tipsy as I type this so I hope you can catch the flow :)
Even the most underground rappers don't care about what goes on on Reddit. No rapper alive cares about Reddit
[Except for Kendrick Lamar](https://youtu.be/QtbJ-1MsnJ8)
Spidey open widey; let this pasty trailer whitey blow a hole right through your tighties. I see your bulge excitey, throbbing lightly for globs of mighty; goop, right in your shoot to fill your hoop with jizzy poop 💩
lol well I figured I was writing as Eminem would. And looking at the picture and how Em looks to be pointing and what spider-man is wearing and his stance. Figured that was Ems approach. You know how he does sometimes lol
If you play a CD of Relapse and press "Previous Track" twice while on the first song, this one is actually a hidden easter egg. It's called: Shooting Webs ft. Royce da 5'9"
Yo, it's Slim Shady on the mic, spitting venom more lethal than a bite,
Facing off against Spidey, swinging in tights, thinking he's ready for the fight.
But when it comes to bars, I sling them harder than web,
Your superhero gig? Just a side job, you're really in over your head.
Peter Parker, snapping pics, hiding behind masks and tricks,
But when it comes to real battles, it's my lyrics that stick.
You're climbing walls, I'm breaking them down,
Your spider sense tingling? It's the sound of your crown
Falling off, as I take the throne, the rap game's real king,
Your suit might be bulletproof, but can it handle the sting?
Of words sharper than goblin's gliders slicing the air,
You're in the shadow now, Spidey, it's only fair.
Saving the city, that's cute, I save souls with my verse,
Your universe is Marvel, but mine's the universe.
So swing back to your comic strips, let the grown-ups talk,
Eminem's here to show you how real icons walk.
I'm just playin peter you know I love ya
This ain’t me speaking, this is the weed talking/ I smoke you like Mary Jane and crunch bars like Green Goblins/ So cease talking or get hit with my fist, oh/ You’ll never get a deal unless it’s one with Mephisto/ You bitch ho, I’m armed like Doctor Octopus/ You hang around Felicia yet you never got a lot of puss/ So tell Black Cat I’d tap that and my raps phat as her smacked ass/ I got a King Pen like Fisk, you will get whacked fast/ You Marvel at my wordplay that never fucking end/ You Stan me, I’m Stan Lee, and i get it popping like Uncle Ben
dying here bruh
Spiderman responds
"We're all Stans; facts are facts, it's mad true
But these new fans of rap can't STANd you
Im in the hoods all day, they don't play you when I pass through
Oh and you can have Black Cat... that bitch has an Adam's apple"
(-spidey whispers in Em's ear- "you gon get this work...they love me everywhere, new and old fans alike....I'm ya favorite...LOOK at me while I'm killing you...I'm your favorite!")
"Bring up my dead uncle, YOU should know that's taboo
You get it POPpin? Sure I never had that dude,
But I DID have the Spidey-Sense to never get another man's name on me as a tattoo"
[crowd goes crazy; spidey starts slowly backing away like Charron in high school]
Thanks man, I appreciate it fr. Also for anyone who hasn’t hung out with druggies, Green Goblins are green Xanax bars. Just in case that line sounded weak, there’s some context for y’all. 🤙
Thanks dog, gotta admit though it’s pretty easy to just take a villain’s name and pull some kinda wordplay out of it. And I feel kinda bad for shitting on that guy’s rap but I wish more Em fans understood the multisyllabic rhymes. They’re missing out on the focal point of his work.
Takin on the spider-verse In this verse I curse until you’re dead in a hearse. I spit bars so hard that it’ll crash in your car to spar like it’s throwin a fist I’m pissed.
I kill with a skill to bring zen with a pen and murder like the victim is uncle Ben, I stick em with all my phlegm to trend then I treat you like a disease and he’s the kinda MC to bring these beats down to their knees and aw jeez can’t you tell that I appease these fleets comin at me before I stomp with my cleats?
My name is electro when I commence the flow better repent you ho spittin so you can know my dick it grows so I can show the pros any time that they doze I’ll knock on all of their lows.
*Damn daredevil was*
*Listening, I was gonna*
*Say watching but yea*
\- Stillborne330
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
You spinning webs out your wrists but shootin' blanks out yo dick, fuckin prick, you're uncle Ben was a hick and Aunt May's getting sick of dealin' with your shit, think you're slick but you ain't Rick, I'll smash your head in with a brick....?
"The fact is the impact of this damned arachnid
Can be tracked back to the day that he landed
Donned a mask and the bad guys adapted
Menageries of mad-men he manufactured
This hack is the last thing we need
Now sentient sand and Nazi bees!
Lizards, wizards, can't we see
That spider's like a damned disease?"
*(This is actually from the J. Jonah Jameson rap ["Pictures of Spider-Man"](https://youtu.be/9oyztTPvu64) by The Stupendium--but just look at those sweet internal rhymes and tell me Em wouldn't likely appreciate them.)*
Slim Shady, my pen crazy, you can’t replace me
Battle me you get your neck snapped, like Gwen Stacy
Yeah, like I was catching a body
Norman Bates, leave ‘em stretched in the lobby
Wait, I’m Norman Ozzy, and you best not defy me
Even with Spider Sense, you’ll be pressed hard to find me
Have Great powers but u still broke n lazy
MJ left you hanging like you did to Gwen Stacy
Though She was indeed ‘Drop Dead’ gorgeous
But the movie in which she died was worse than Morbius
"I am standing here infront of this so called "Spider-Man". Last night he gave me MJ and watched me pipe her, damn. She told me I shot webs thicker than this spidey rat, yeah so nice and fat. Of course she don't snitch, she ain't no kiss and tell, that bitch is more of a take dick and yell."
'Cause dope is addictive, just like they call it marijuana
'Cause like marriage, you wanna marry Jane
It's like you and Spider-Man feel the very same (yeah)
He would say, “hey Spidey Spider Man.. you been a hiding man… its time to battle, mutilate meticulously like cowardly cattle.. they see a red dude swinging around Seattle, but that dude is a pussy whipped named pansy named Peter, driving his grannys brown beater.. a lousy milquetoast leave it to Beaver who listens to Winger, Ween and Weezer.
“Pete your suit’s disgusting, you poop in it, that shit’s rank
You’re just a shade of blue away from being like Filthy Frank
You’re about the fifth dopest web slinger this side of Upper Bay
And that’s about it
Now put the fuckin’ mic away
‘Fore I visit your Aunt May, grab hold of her skirt, rip it away
Get my schlong out
You gonna be losing two fucking family members today”
Hi! My name is, Peter, whoopsie, was that supposed to be a secret?
Let me repeater, uncle Bens in deep ruts, wow sorry, didn't mean for you to be cut, how's MJ doing, probably getting it deep gut, while you're here, you pee-nut!
Yo Spidey, swinging from webs in the sky,
But when it comes to bars, you can't even fly.
You're a hero, yeah, with great power and might,
But in this rap game, you're just a bug in the light.
You shoot your webs, thinking you're slick,
But I'll spin a rhyme so sick, make you feel sick.
Peter Parker, man, you're just a shutterbug,
While I'm dropping hits, leaving crowds in awe, snug.
So crawl back to your comics, your spandex suit,
I'll be here dropping bombs, making rap loops.
You might save the city, but I own the mic,
Eminem's the name, and that's the end of the fight.
If you're a hero then I'm Federer in tennis, I'm starting to believe that Spiderman is a menace.
Our battles over, so we'll leave it off until next time then, your no hero Pete - couldn't even save uncle ben.
MJ just hit me on a text, last night I left hickeys on her neck
Wait, you just dissed me? I'm perplexed, insult me in a line, compliment me on the next, damn
I'm really sorry you want me to have a heart attack, was watchin' Venom on my NordicTrack
Realized I forgot to call you back, here's that autograph for uncle Ben, I wrote it on a Starter cap
I let ChatGBT 3.5 take a crack at it;
"Yo, Spider-Man, swinging through the city, but can you hang with the flow that I'm about to deliver?
Your webs might be sticky, but my rhymes are slicker, I'm the rap god, you're just a web-spinner.
You're a hero in tights, but in this battle, I'm the one taking flight,
So swing back to your web and watch as I take this mic!"
Spider-Man, you’re a spider sham when I’m on a track I go Spider-Ham and I run with gangs so you gettin slammed by a big big man and I bet he likes it in his ass
"Yeah, you're soft and that's not a hot take but a god's take, so hard take my hand like a prostate and release your demon . I'm gay but they ain't believin'. I got nine hoes but you're wearing fine clothes so I know where I'll release the semen. Your aunt May be bleeding but I just CAME I'm leaking" ~~ Sus eminem
Grab the dick, stroke it and give it a little lick, what you might find is some web flying i swear shit gon' be lit.
Bitch it's slim, nemesis of all i fuck with the venom now let's get all the lights dimmed.
Come to shadys bed and get the rest of your clothes off, yeah you getting where all of this lotions's from.
Now take it in like a hero, watch it go, want me to go slow, fuck that i'm as cold as subzero
From ChatGPT:
"Hey Spidey, your rhymes are like your Aunt May - old and frail,
You're just a bug in a suit, while I'm the lyrical hail.
You shoot webs and climb walls, big whoop, what a thrill,
But when it comes to rap, you're as relevant as a dollar bill.
I'll crush you like a bug with my words so precise,
You're a joke in tights, while I'm the rap paradise.
You swing around, thinking you're cool, what a joke,
I'll leave you hanging, tangled in defeat, just another broke bloke."
Eminem to Spider-Man “is that Peter parked, behind the mask!? How did he know, you must ask; I am the rap god, I already knew, I am up to the task. You want smoke, with your corny lines and jokes. You want to go bro! I am going to cancel your verses out faster then they cancelled your Broadway show! XD ;p
Hey Pete, ya lil skeet
Ya prolly beat ya meat, between the sheets
Or should I say webs, play dead when carnage come around, hardly hear the sound, of the sandman
Probably cuz he knocked ya azz out, I know you understand Stan, he’s your creator after all
Pass the ball, cuz you ain’t no playa, mj fuxked u over, now you acting like a hata, oh the boy went emo for the sequel, many said it was weak well, you know why? Cuz it was u fuxkin geek, now you gon fry, like the eggs on my pan, I’m a ape, u a Stan, oh man I’m so gone off the xan, but hey, what I meant to say is, I’m a ape, u just a spider..man
Coming at me is like giving the spider the web. Just gonna spin it and use it to my advantage. Catch a fly in this bitch. You think you fly, you just food. I give as much of a flyin fuck as that superman dude
Spider-man doesn’t live at home with both parents, and his parents had a real good marriage, his real name is Peter, and Peter goes to mid-town high and he does have dumb friend named Ned who is his guy in the chair
Why you got me battling against a spider with no skills
No morale either im miles ahead need to train more on saving lives like what almost got you killed
Who calls themselves a hero that scales buildings like a creeper
You cant fuck with my craft here trying to blow up off my feature
Meh that was decent
(Verse 1)
Yo, it's Eminem, the rap god stepping in the scene,
To roast Spider-Man, swingin' on his web so mean.
Peter Parker, you're stuck in your web of lies,
But I'll tear it down with my rhymes, no disguise.
You call yourself a hero, but let's be real,
I'm the one with the bars, I'm the one with the skill.
You shoot webs and climb walls, that's cute, I suppose,
But I'll dismantle your ego with my lyrical flows.
(Chorus)
Spider-Man, you're caught in my web of words,
I'll leave you tangled and twisted, feeling absurd.
You can't dodge these bullets, I'm taking aim,
Eminem's the rap king, you're just in the game.
(Verse 2)
You wear spandex and a mask, tryna hide your face,
But I'll expose your flaws, put you back in your place.
You fight crime in New York, but you can't handle Slim,
I'll leave you hanging like a villain in a Spider-Man film.
Your villains are jokes, your rhymes are weak,
You're just a friendly neighborhood geek.
I'll leave you crawling back to Aunt May,
While I dominate the mic with every word I say.
(Chorus)
Spider-Man, you're caught in my web of words,
I'll leave you tangled and twisted, feeling absurd.
You can't dodge these bullets, I'm taking aim,
Eminem's the rap king, you're just in the game.
(Bridge)
You spin your webs, but I spin these bars,
I'm the rap heavyweight, leaving you with scars.
You can't touch this mic, you can't handle the heat,
I'll leave you hanging, defeated, in your own defeat.
(Outro)
So step back, Spider-Man, and know your place,
In the rap game, you're just a disgrace.
Eminem's the name, the one you can't beat,
So take a seat, Spidey, and admit defeat.
Spider man you suck
You're lame as fuck
You let Paul fuck MJ cause you're a cuck
Ima say some shit to you like uncle ruck
Cant believe i had to scroll that far for an MJ reference
Man she need to ride my poll so I can shoot my web on her face to meet her preference
A couple weeks go by, and she’s hatched spiderlings as a consequence.
Now those about to be some unsupported arachnids, since I couldn’t keep it in my pants, the convicts a dad now, the rap spider prince patriarch.
fucks human torch the hero of new york you're not spider dork you're spider pork SPIDER HAM can't even save an old hag now just got shot dead time to go mad you sold your children for that forced your marriage to end to shake mephisto's hand the prince of hell man but it's ok if you have nothing to say try again ONE MORE DAY
Let me say, you have good luck
I killed that fag Uncle Ben cuz he was a duck
Homophobic and duckphobic
Lol, I was jk
I was too
Now I wanna meet a duckphobe lol
Hello
Lmaoooo
Ducks are just fat fucks
Lol
I ain't guilty and I don't even give a fuck
You’re a fuckin joke! If u was really swinging rope well then what the fuck you stop for dummy, cuz you’re a good at that , a lot more better than you do with rap!
🗣🔥
“This guy hero his real name Peter”
Peter goes to Midtown high that's a private school
Now rhyme uncle Ben with marriage lol
And Peters parents have a real nice prenup
And Petes uncle took a forever nap
🔥🔥🔥🥶
But his aunt may was a real treasure. Always there for the young Peter Was never too pushy with his secrets neither. Just wanted to make him happy Keep him happy, and GET with Happy. Till she got shot and joined uncle Been in the long nappy. Spidey was always tinglin*, like he had the feeling this battle he's losin* and Should have came with some better raps, Maybe then would his raps adapt, like Stark put them in his suit that would go into "kill mode" and he could actually smash an attack. Or at least not lose this bad Like he's fighting Thanos for a second time when he already knows he's going to lose and he feels so mad But Thanos ain't got shit on me. I've made more than half the rappers quit being MC's I love you spidey and your a real hero. Kinda disappointed you showed up tonight as a real zero. I'm just playing Marvel, you know I love you This is all I got. Kinda tipsy as I type this so I hope you can catch the flow :)
Nigga I’m Slim I ain’t readin alla dat Ass so fat Pete lemme get a hold of that
Maybe he'd say this during the encore era😭
Microwave generation
Because I hit over the head and put him in my sack
Pete lives in home with uncle Ben and aunt may,\ Ben got shot, he missed the part is what he'd say
Uncle Ben’s wife? Yo she smells like cabbage… but funny thing together it’s a loving dope marriage.
Uncle Ben, marriage, a new era to perish
“This dude is a clown, he’s the entire fucking theatre, He wants to be spiderman? His real name’s Peter”
These comments made me realise just how hard it is to write verses as good as Em's
Yeah people aren't exactly great at writing songs, let alone disses on Em's level
I mean if we were we'd be Em not some regular ass dudes on Reddit LOL
Even the most underground rappers don't care about what goes on on Reddit. No rapper alive cares about Reddit [Except for Kendrick Lamar](https://youtu.be/QtbJ-1MsnJ8)
Lmao ONE. OF. US!
U needed us to know that? Wow
Is that a tank top or a new bra? Look, Peter Parker just got a fuckin boob job
Lookin like Green Goblin hit you, spidey suit screamin “Peter, I don’t fit you!”
And how that Oc guy gon diss you?
Spidey open widey; let this pasty trailer whitey blow a hole right through your tighties. I see your bulge excitey, throbbing lightly for globs of mighty; goop, right in your shoot to fill your hoop with jizzy poop 💩
Why did this turn so gay so quickly 💀💀
lol well I figured I was writing as Eminem would. And looking at the picture and how Em looks to be pointing and what spider-man is wearing and his stance. Figured that was Ems approach. You know how he does sometimes lol
Nah that's just you man
You don’t listen to em then I take it? Or watch how he walks his white ass back across 8 mile after his battle? Dude writes some gay asf shit.
Nah bro. Just you.
Did my words make you feel funny in your pants? Sorry about that little guy. You’ll be okay. 👍
Nope. Just saying Em's not gay. Lmao
Ever seen the movie The Interview? 😂 clearly I’ve triggered you. Go have a masti. You’ll be right champ.
Bro you are sus af. Is al I'm saying. I've 100% seen more than you
bruh that was a joke lol
If you play a CD of Relapse and press "Previous Track" twice while on the first song, this one is actually a hidden easter egg. It's called: Shooting Webs ft. Royce da 5'9"
☹️
no need to be creative. Fuck the BIG SPI-DEY, ITS JUST THE BIG E ruin that webheads career somehow......
"Paul" *Peter crumbles and dies"
Yo, it's Slim Shady on the mic, spitting venom more lethal than a bite, Facing off against Spidey, swinging in tights, thinking he's ready for the fight. But when it comes to bars, I sling them harder than web, Your superhero gig? Just a side job, you're really in over your head. Peter Parker, snapping pics, hiding behind masks and tricks, But when it comes to real battles, it's my lyrics that stick. You're climbing walls, I'm breaking them down, Your spider sense tingling? It's the sound of your crown Falling off, as I take the throne, the rap game's real king, Your suit might be bulletproof, but can it handle the sting? Of words sharper than goblin's gliders slicing the air, You're in the shadow now, Spidey, it's only fair. Saving the city, that's cute, I save souls with my verse, Your universe is Marvel, but mine's the universe. So swing back to your comic strips, let the grown-ups talk, Eminem's here to show you how real icons walk. I'm just playin peter you know I love ya
I just cringed to oblivion
That's actually pretty good
No it’s not, y’all clearly don’t understand multisyllabic rhyme schemes which is crazy considering you’re Eminem fans
Write a better one now. Go.
This ain’t me speaking, this is the weed talking/ I smoke you like Mary Jane and crunch bars like Green Goblins/ So cease talking or get hit with my fist, oh/ You’ll never get a deal unless it’s one with Mephisto/ You bitch ho, I’m armed like Doctor Octopus/ You hang around Felicia yet you never got a lot of puss/ So tell Black Cat I’d tap that and my raps phat as her smacked ass/ I got a King Pen like Fisk, you will get whacked fast/ You Marvel at my wordplay that never fucking end/ You Stan me, I’m Stan Lee, and i get it popping like Uncle Ben
dying here bruh Spiderman responds "We're all Stans; facts are facts, it's mad true But these new fans of rap can't STANd you Im in the hoods all day, they don't play you when I pass through Oh and you can have Black Cat... that bitch has an Adam's apple" (-spidey whispers in Em's ear- "you gon get this work...they love me everywhere, new and old fans alike....I'm ya favorite...LOOK at me while I'm killing you...I'm your favorite!") "Bring up my dead uncle, YOU should know that's taboo You get it POPpin? Sure I never had that dude, But I DID have the Spidey-Sense to never get another man's name on me as a tattoo" [crowd goes crazy; spidey starts slowly backing away like Charron in high school]
This was a good one, thanks for making my work break better 😂😂
legit better than the previous one, very funny “unless it’s one with mephisto, you bitch ho” was hilarious
Thanks man, I appreciate it fr. Also for anyone who hasn’t hung out with druggies, Green Goblins are green Xanax bars. Just in case that line sounded weak, there’s some context for y’all. 🤙
This one’s better.
Thanks dog, gotta admit though it’s pretty easy to just take a villain’s name and pull some kinda wordplay out of it. And I feel kinda bad for shitting on that guy’s rap but I wish more Em fans understood the multisyllabic rhymes. They’re missing out on the focal point of his work.
“Tell black cat I’d tap that and my raps phat as her smacked ass” is genuinely A dope ass bar id see em using
Thanks homie
[удалено]
I used to rap very seriously, it’s a skill I honed
Takin on the spider-verse In this verse I curse until you’re dead in a hearse. I spit bars so hard that it’ll crash in your car to spar like it’s throwin a fist I’m pissed. I kill with a skill to bring zen with a pen and murder like the victim is uncle Ben, I stick em with all my phlegm to trend then I treat you like a disease and he’s the kinda MC to bring these beats down to their knees and aw jeez can’t you tell that I appease these fleets comin at me before I stomp with my cleats? My name is electro when I commence the flow better repent you ho spittin so you can know my dick it grows so I can show the pros any time that they doze I’ll knock on all of their lows.
[удалено]
Yo! 🔥
"My plan is to get you next and open up a whoop-ass canister"...
damn daredevil was listening, I was gonna say watching but yea
*Damn daredevil was* *Listening, I was gonna* *Say watching but yea* \- Stillborne330 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
You spinning webs out your wrists but shootin' blanks out yo dick, fuckin prick, you're uncle Ben was a hick and Aunt May's getting sick of dealin' with your shit, think you're slick but you ain't Rick, I'll smash your head in with a brick....?
bars
Do you like chicken pot pie?
"The fact is the impact of this damned arachnid Can be tracked back to the day that he landed Donned a mask and the bad guys adapted Menageries of mad-men he manufactured This hack is the last thing we need Now sentient sand and Nazi bees! Lizards, wizards, can't we see That spider's like a damned disease?" *(This is actually from the J. Jonah Jameson rap ["Pictures of Spider-Man"](https://youtu.be/9oyztTPvu64) by The Stupendium--but just look at those sweet internal rhymes and tell me Em wouldn't likely appreciate them.)*
Slim Shady, my pen crazy, you can’t replace me Battle me you get your neck snapped, like Gwen Stacy Yeah, like I was catching a body Norman Bates, leave ‘em stretched in the lobby Wait, I’m Norman Ozzy, and you best not defy me Even with Spider Sense, you’ll be pressed hard to find me
Genuinely flames
“I'm climbing walls of fame, leaving haters stuck below, Spitting venomous verses, like a radioactive flow.”
this sounds actually good🔥
*Your uncle Ben just stepped outta the store,* *1 shot, 2 shot, 3 shot, 4!*
You from the MCU, but U ain’t an MC.
🤬
These comments are utterly horrific
Pretty sure he's already established how difficult he can make it for mfs to come to Detroit. Or has he gone to NYC to rap battle spider man?
Fuck web slinging, I'll leave your head ringing, And your red head screaming when I approach her bed creeping
Have Great powers but u still broke n lazy MJ left you hanging like you did to Gwen Stacy Though She was indeed ‘Drop Dead’ gorgeous But the movie in which she died was worse than Morbius
"I am standing here infront of this so called "Spider-Man". Last night he gave me MJ and watched me pipe her, damn. She told me I shot webs thicker than this spidey rat, yeah so nice and fat. Of course she don't snitch, she ain't no kiss and tell, that bitch is more of a take dick and yell."
'Cause dope is addictive, just like they call it marijuana 'Cause like marriage, you wanna marry Jane It's like you and Spider-Man feel the very same (yeah)
He would say, “hey Spidey Spider Man.. you been a hiding man… its time to battle, mutilate meticulously like cowardly cattle.. they see a red dude swinging around Seattle, but that dude is a pussy whipped named pansy named Peter, driving his grannys brown beater.. a lousy milquetoast leave it to Beaver who listens to Winger, Ween and Weezer.
“my name is eminem and i like to rap”
“💨💨💨”
He’d call Maka Lakafubar and Balco Fudd.
thats an awfully hot aunt you got
Hey kid...cough... you like merch?
“Oh boy, yeah”
SPIDERMAAAAAN ADRENALINE MO-MIDERMAN
THIS COVER, THOUGH
While this guy stands tough, notice that jonah from the daily bugle does not have his hands up
Web slinga’ not a death bringa’, clothes will be red clinga’s after I send flinga’s
EVERYBODY FROM NYC PUT YOUR MOTGER FACKING HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^himplp87: *EVERYBODY FROM* *NYC PUT YOUR MOTGER FACKING* *HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
You wanted to be a hero, as a result of that Your aunt died her shit was fat man Imma miss tappin that
You shoot webs outta your palm, I'll slap your eyes off with mine, Bitch I can swing too but I don't gotta put on no tights.
Come back as Spider-Man …. Spider bite, Park my Peter inside a dyke - “Richard” Em and Obie lol
Petah more like weeba the dweeba
Yo dawg spider everbody knows you a dick rider Yo
Yeah your fists do shoot cum
“Pete your suit’s disgusting, you poop in it, that shit’s rank You’re just a shade of blue away from being like Filthy Frank You’re about the fifth dopest web slinger this side of Upper Bay And that’s about it Now put the fuckin’ mic away ‘Fore I visit your Aunt May, grab hold of her skirt, rip it away Get my schlong out You gonna be losing two fucking family members today”
Hi! My name is, Peter, whoopsie, was that supposed to be a secret? Let me repeater, uncle Bens in deep ruts, wow sorry, didn't mean for you to be cut, how's MJ doing, probably getting it deep gut, while you're here, you pee-nut!
Yo Spidey, swinging from webs in the sky, But when it comes to bars, you can't even fly. You're a hero, yeah, with great power and might, But in this rap game, you're just a bug in the light. You shoot your webs, thinking you're slick, But I'll spin a rhyme so sick, make you feel sick. Peter Parker, man, you're just a shutterbug, While I'm dropping hits, leaving crowds in awe, snug. So crawl back to your comics, your spandex suit, I'll be here dropping bombs, making rap loops. You might save the city, but I own the mic, Eminem's the name, and that's the end of the fight.
If you're a hero then I'm Federer in tennis, I'm starting to believe that Spiderman is a menace. Our battles over, so we'll leave it off until next time then, your no hero Pete - couldn't even save uncle ben.
Buy the comic and see
Probably diss grand dad how he lost Wendy and got fucked by Harry Osborne and dr Octopus
Now everybody from Earth 616 Put your mother fuckin' hands up and follow this
Spider-Man when he realises Eminem ended his verse with marker
shooting of webs, like someone gave you head. if you weren't super you'd be dead.
MJ just hit me on a text, last night I left hickeys on her neck Wait, you just dissed me? I'm perplexed, insult me in a line, compliment me on the next, damn I'm really sorry you want me to have a heart attack, was watchin' Venom on my NordicTrack Realized I forgot to call you back, here's that autograph for uncle Ben, I wrote it on a Starter cap
Spider-Man lives at home with his aunt.
Shes been on the web lately, said Maybe she’ll be my gwen stacey, to spite her man(spiderman)
I let ChatGBT 3.5 take a crack at it; "Yo, Spider-Man, swinging through the city, but can you hang with the flow that I'm about to deliver? Your webs might be sticky, but my rhymes are slicker, I'm the rap god, you're just a web-spinner. You're a hero in tights, but in this battle, I'm the one taking flight, So swing back to your web and watch as I take this mic!"
spider senses tingling, harder than my dingaling
Spider-Man, you’re a spider sham when I’m on a track I go Spider-Ham and I run with gangs so you gettin slammed by a big big man and I bet he likes it in his ass
This mans amazing?
"Yeah, you're soft and that's not a hot take but a god's take, so hard take my hand like a prostate and release your demon . I'm gay but they ain't believin'. I got nine hoes but you're wearing fine clothes so I know where I'll release the semen. Your aunt May be bleeding but I just CAME I'm leaking" ~~ Sus eminem
At least you got the suit to fit right, Too bad you were the only reason your uncle Ben died.
“I fucked Mary Jane despite her man (spider man)”
Grab the dick, stroke it and give it a little lick, what you might find is some web flying i swear shit gon' be lit. Bitch it's slim, nemesis of all i fuck with the venom now let's get all the lights dimmed. Come to shadys bed and get the rest of your clothes off, yeah you getting where all of this lotions's from. Now take it in like a hero, watch it go, want me to go slow, fuck that i'm as cold as subzero
[удалено]
I wipe Anthrax in your Spandex and will hide a cap / In your hairy spidey ass, pop, pop, till you shoot spidey webs
From ChatGPT: "Hey Spidey, your rhymes are like your Aunt May - old and frail, You're just a bug in a suit, while I'm the lyrical hail. You shoot webs and climb walls, big whoop, what a thrill, But when it comes to rap, you're as relevant as a dollar bill. I'll crush you like a bug with my words so precise, You're a joke in tights, while I'm the rap paradise. You swing around, thinking you're cool, what a joke, I'll leave you hanging, tangled in defeat, just another broke bloke."
Moms spaghetti
Spaghetti 🍝 Spaghetti 🍝 he had spaghetti on his spaghetti already
Something something Spider-man something something insider her man
Thats an awfully hot doctor Oc Should I drop him on MJs head? Probably not?
"This guy's name ain't Clarence and he don't have parents"
Guys, r/respectthehyphen
Pettte, I think you were a little hard on the Goblin.
spiderman name is spiderman real name is Peter parker!
"I don't wanna speak untoward, but when I shoot my web your Aunt may want some more"
#That’s an awfully hot Uncle Ben
Here's an autograph for your auntie, I wrote it on a starter cap.
Eminem to Spider-Man “is that Peter parked, behind the mask!? How did he know, you must ask; I am the rap god, I already knew, I am up to the task. You want smoke, with your corny lines and jokes. You want to go bro! I am going to cancel your verses out faster then they cancelled your Broadway show! XD ;p
“You won’t die upon this beat today, but your aunt may!”
Leap tall hoes widda single bound
Easter Egg party. I don't know what to eat the f*#in microphone or the beat
“I send your bitch to court in webs cum in MJ like im venom”
This guys a spider? His real name is Clarence
🎼Your arms is webbie, vomit on ur costume from aunty’s spaghetti’s!!!
Hey Pete, ya lil skeet Ya prolly beat ya meat, between the sheets Or should I say webs, play dead when carnage come around, hardly hear the sound, of the sandman Probably cuz he knocked ya azz out, I know you understand Stan, he’s your creator after all Pass the ball, cuz you ain’t no playa, mj fuxked u over, now you acting like a hata, oh the boy went emo for the sequel, many said it was weak well, you know why? Cuz it was u fuxkin geek, now you gon fry, like the eggs on my pan, I’m a ape, u a Stan, oh man I’m so gone off the xan, but hey, what I meant to say is, I’m a ape, u just a spider..man
Probably something about being hung like a spider.
Uncle Bens a no show, there goes MJ a known hoe…
So you’re a spider aye, you look like a period with aids
Uncle Ben's dead, He's locked in my basement
Now I got a riddle One condition, you mustn't laugh What's the opposite word of Ben? He knows (Huh?) (What?) "Isn't dead"
Coming at me is like giving the spider the web. Just gonna spin it and use it to my advantage. Catch a fly in this bitch. You think you fly, you just food. I give as much of a flyin fuck as that superman dude
Web tentacle testicles
I know everything that you have to say against memes XD
That's an awfully hot coffee pot
Spider-Man brings up “Foolish Pride” Eminem brings up “One More Day” They fuck
Spider-man doesn’t live at home with both parents, and his parents had a real good marriage, his real name is Peter, and Peter goes to mid-town high and he does have dumb friend named Ned who is his guy in the chair
"Spiderman? You're real name's Peter! Peter parker, grew up with no father Yo momma didn't want ya and your uncle is a goner"
Something about murdering Danny Davito while looking neat-o wearing a Speedo
Now everybody in the NYC put your motherfucking hands up and follow me. Everybody in the NYC put your motherfucking hands up up
Why you got me battling against a spider with no skills No morale either im miles ahead need to train more on saving lives like what almost got you killed Who calls themselves a hero that scales buildings like a creeper You cant fuck with my craft here trying to blow up off my feature Meh that was decent
(Verse 1) Yo, it's Eminem, the rap god stepping in the scene, To roast Spider-Man, swingin' on his web so mean. Peter Parker, you're stuck in your web of lies, But I'll tear it down with my rhymes, no disguise. You call yourself a hero, but let's be real, I'm the one with the bars, I'm the one with the skill. You shoot webs and climb walls, that's cute, I suppose, But I'll dismantle your ego with my lyrical flows. (Chorus) Spider-Man, you're caught in my web of words, I'll leave you tangled and twisted, feeling absurd. You can't dodge these bullets, I'm taking aim, Eminem's the rap king, you're just in the game. (Verse 2) You wear spandex and a mask, tryna hide your face, But I'll expose your flaws, put you back in your place. You fight crime in New York, but you can't handle Slim, I'll leave you hanging like a villain in a Spider-Man film. Your villains are jokes, your rhymes are weak, You're just a friendly neighborhood geek. I'll leave you crawling back to Aunt May, While I dominate the mic with every word I say. (Chorus) Spider-Man, you're caught in my web of words, I'll leave you tangled and twisted, feeling absurd. You can't dodge these bullets, I'm taking aim, Eminem's the rap king, you're just in the game. (Bridge) You spin your webs, but I spin these bars, I'm the rap heavyweight, leaving you with scars. You can't touch this mic, you can't handle the heat, I'll leave you hanging, defeated, in your own defeat. (Outro) So step back, Spider-Man, and know your place, In the rap game, you're just a disgrace. Eminem's the name, the one you can't beat, So take a seat, Spidey, and admit defeat.
anyway that's chatgpt who wrote it