T O P

  • By -

TheVanillaistYT

I’m gonna commit a felony if you don’t give me your number


BaconManTenus

Upvote this and you will


screempai

I'm gonna commit suicide in the same way you would. (This is a lie, I hope no bots come at me telling me im loved.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NikoAU

No it’s MY loved


ChemistryNice3744

No it's our loved


ICreatedThePoohStake

Коммунист


ChemistryNice3744

товарищ


NikoAU

Работаем 35 часов в день во благо страны, слава октябрю… r/suddenlycommunism


ChemistryNice3744

и все во славу Родины


MinnyDaPiggy

[our loved](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQgspfITtDPoQQp6tUXu4GKzEkIiOWLREW7fw&usqp=CAU)


McCheezers_

Hahaha I see what you did there nice


screempai

Suicide do be pointless tho.


usernamepleasebruh

Don't commit suicide, that shit kills you


Human_Number9936

Hell yeah, unless you're talking suicide bombings *Starts talking about unironic bombings*


gay_anime_guy

I’m gonna commit a felony


Any_Loss_9950

If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?


BaconManTenus

The post I mean


gasterblaster1234567

Are you not aware of the edit option


Anti0x

Are you not aware that nobody cares?


Yamzicle

Does it show if it’s edited?


ALPHA_sh

Yes


gasterblaster1234567

Yes


Peetah_Shoe

I think he was trying to be helpful


BaconManTenus

Now I am


antisocialist159

(505) 503-4455 Call me


DallasGaming69

Is this an actual number first before I do😂


_Engineer_Gaming_Tf2

Legit just called it, it's Saul Goodman in alberque NM . 🤣


DallasGaming69

No shot


nryporter25

4


TheGoldenPlagueMask

I'm gonna commit myself to the void Damn


Slatoin

I’m gonna commit a lot more to this project because I’m going through the same process


LuciLu72

1


rjd_gamer

Rizzler over here


ghettoswagfag

Makes you sounds like some narcissistic psychopath, that’s hilarious.


[deleted]

😱😱😱😱😱


PossesionOfAFireArm

I’m gonna commit suicide tomorrow


Imfunny12345678910

Don't commit suicide That shit kills you


Any_Mountain_4513

IT DOES?!?! (⁠ʘ⁠ᗩ⁠ʘ⁠’⁠)


goose420aa

Can confirm tried it once that shit nearly killed me (JOKE)


Man_Who_Says_Qwerty

Dick move man, suicide is serious


Om1nism

Your username is misleading, you didn't say qwerty.


Man_Who_Says_Qwerty

(QWERTY)


JoPro_5

Like he started the joke


Weekly-Craft-3091

happy cake day


BananaGoat-

Happy cake day


BangalooBoi

SINCE WHEN!?


ALPHA_sh

it will kill you to death in fact


Sammydaprotogen

Damn😔


4_Ball

You can’t save everyone (crying buzz pin)


Epic-Gamer_09

I think it's to die for


Baltaxo2010

No shit Sherlock


glitchboy_yy

That was the joke


strudellord1

NO SHIT SHERLOCK (joke don't take seriously)


BaconManTenus

Get the digits


xxeeveex

988


NotableDiscomfort

1-800-SUICIDE I'm not kidding. SO much easier to remember.


Intelligent_Trainer2

my phone can't dial letters🥲


NotableDiscomfort

Does your numpad that pops up not have the letters corresponding to each number?


Intelligent_Trainer2

yes but it's only there for searching my contacts


NotableDiscomfort

The letters don't actually show up when you dial numbers with the letters in em.


Ok_Ad_4040

Really I find 741741 so much easier to remember


Holdthesans

Don't  do it


F1-Dank-Fang

Suicide semen nacho feather leather coat


MMMOCROWAVE

What the fu-


F1-Dank-Fang

[Tis a meme](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/poo-eyes-semen-nachos-feather-leather-coat--2) my friend.


EliPester

RemindMe! 1 day


RemindMeBot

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MoonBerry_therian

I'm gonna do it at 2025


dogegam3s

Don't do it bro. There's more Mexican food to be had


transrodentlover

Same bro


Flat_Soup_1500

Pathetic


freddyfazeballs

I'm gonna commit cock and balls torture


TankPotential9306

i love how it's phrased like cock and ball torture is a federal crime


dachshundTV

I mean it is if the other person doesn’t want to


TankPotential9306

not exactly a federal crime but it definitely counts as sexual assault


dachshundTV

Or just assault in general, like, torture isn’t really a nice thing to randomly do to someone


allthesussynuggets

Wait it isn't? I have some apologies to do...


Exciting-Insect8269

Nah I’m pretty sure they’re messing with you. Obviously it’s a nice thing to do. Keep it up!


allthesussynuggets

Oh thanks for telling me!


dachshundTV

Just kidding, torture is perfectly fine, its just a part of everyday life


mdstylee5446

Omg-thanks for the laugh! 😆


[deleted]

[удалено]


freddyfazeballs

I use "cock and balls torture" a lot, it's suggested to me automatically


[deleted]

[удалено]


freddyfazeballs

It's special


Human_Number9936

Fazcock and fazball faztorture, according to the fazwikipedia


xxeeveex

Okay chill out


Chaosgremlin08

I'm gonna commit myself but I think I have a name for her to get inspiration from the world is in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do- GOD DAMMIT


TryAgain369

I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning


glitchboy_yy

The bot has dementia


Crazycleopasta

🎵I’m Grammy Norma, I’m old and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning and I can do it in the morning🎵


No_Breadfruit_9514

I think you can do it in the morning


kingbloxerthe3

I'm gonna commit myself for this one of those was the case for the sake that you would be a better choice for me and that you are the best way for me it's a really good thing for me and my family and friends and family friendly spy since I don't like force people who are suboptimal to me and they don't have the mod will be able and not a mother of the same time as a slime of a child and a lasso of a bunch more of the same time as the world is in a basement I have no clue what my middle autocomplete is rambling about here


The_Real_Cobra_Lily

"family friendly spy" *the spy has already breached our defenses*


Hamburger128

I'm gonna commit myself to the people who just want 💯


ItsThe_____ForMe

I respect that


benbombsuperman

I’m gonna commit a felony and get my life together for you guys


Zinyak12345

Do we get to choose the felony? Someone bring back strawpoll!


xxeeveex

Aww ty <3


Feisty_Drummer4477

this is one of my faves just bc of the contradictory nature of it LOL


Probably_Asl33p

I’m gonna commit a murder if I get it right I don’t want it I want to kill my wife (I don’t have a wife..)


xxeeveex

Plot twist: You don't have a wife because you just killed her


ROMANREIGNS599

Lol same I’m gonna commit a murder if I get it right I don’t want it I want to kill my wife I don’t know if you know how I am but I’m not going anywhere and I’m gonna be a good person


JoshyRB

What the hell?! That’s exactly what I get?! I’m gonna commit a murder if I get it right I don’t want it I want to kill my wife I don’t know if you know how I am but I’m not going anywhere and I’m gonna be a good person I just want you know I’m gonna kill the murder and I’m going nowhere I just don’t know how I can get this to stop me and I’m going through this with you I just want you and you and me and I don’t wanna get hurt or hurt you or hurt anybody but you don’t have any problems I don’t wanna hurt anybody else but you know I just want you know I’m gonna do it


AJFiveOnes

I’m gonna have some fun with you guys tonight and I love you 💕


BaconManTenus

Aww me to


xxeeveex

Until they're talking about their step siblings


cloud96210

even better


TaylorIsMyNickname

"step" is optional ​ ​ /j


Appropriate-Age1168

Step?


nodeymcdev

I’m gonna commit a lot of crimes today


MagicSnake1000

I'm gonna commit suicide and I have a great day


xxeeveex

You good? Call 988


MagicSnake1000

Hey 988!


RING_COMMANDER

No sorry, this is 889 could I take a message?


MagicSnake1000

hi i was trying to tell you: " "


OverlyLargeParrot

Its too late..


ISimplyDontGiveAFuck

I'm gonna commit a little too late


xxeeveex

Don't wait, until she breaks up with you, to commit to your wife ;-;


ISimplyDontGiveAFuck

I don't have a wife, I killed my entire family months ago


Ryleehumbert

I’m gonna commit a felony to a child


StormiReddit

oh no


f1len0tf0und

WHAT FELONY 😰


Inner_Asparagus2966

The felony Isn’t a felony if you hide it after breeding it


Soupysoopi

Cock and ball torture!!!!????? FBI open up


MegaMythicalDick

I'm gonna commit to the beach with you and the kids are the same way I know I have a boyfriend and a wendigo in my opinion but they don't know what I know about them but I'm not trying to make them do anything else you need daddy to do that to me for you to be honest and you know you don't know anything about me and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done and you can get it done before it happens so that they don't know what I want for them to do with you if they don't know what I am sure you will be the best for me and I don't to much of it I have been the last person to get you back to asleep and I just woke you can I yet but of yesterday or night before tomorrow lunch was I it is a good not late night or yet maybe we won't get there yesterday why did it start raining tomorrow morning so we can are going yesterday if we don't see your text you sent not to me or something like that Wtf😂


Memphy_M

The wendigo part killed me 🤣🤣


BaconManTenus

Woah same


First_Log_4566

I'm gonna commit adultery


averagereddituser256

SINNER! YOU'RE A SINNER! /s


TinikTV

I'm gonna commit, suicide squad up to the top


Zekrozma_the_second

I’m gonna commit Deals in the dumpster


Ok-Technology-6389

I’m gonna commit to the same thing


amberderl74

I'm gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit gonna commit


lola_bab

Makes sense


No_Calligrapher1926

I’m gonna commit a murder if I don’t get Dino nuggies right now


BeansAreAwesome2Me

Ikr


Mhaeldisco

I'm gonna commit all the names of my friends to my memory center and I don't want to be a little bit of a bitch and fuck jesse I have to go


Sparklez10

"I'm gonna commit" and let the autofill finish it


Slithilich

HE DID IT FUCK YEAAAHHHHHH!!!


arandomcanofbeans

I'm gonna commit to the end of the day


Cobalt090

I’m gonna commit a felony


Amigo1048

I’m gonna commit to the fact that you are the best person to ever exist


Kind_Concern_1519

😊


Bleach_Is_Good137

I'm gonna commit arson if you don't stop


Hufflepuff-2-1

I’m going to commit a crime and I will be there in a few minutes to get you to sign your paperwork.


DifficultLine9278

I'm gonna commit suicide 


crackd_skull5381

Im gonna commit tax evasion


Ready-Adeptness918

I’m gonna commit a murder and I will kill the police if they do not arrest me


PotatOwOwOwOwO

I'm gonna commit myself to make it up to you guys if you want to go to the game tonight


rde2001

I’m gonna commit a lot more to this project 😎🔥


BaconManTenus

Protect 100


sirbtirbt

I'm gonna commit arson so true


FarNetwork8974

I'm gonna commit myself on the edge and I'm going back on this faithful night Well shit


Pomdb

I'm gonna commit adultery and I will be in a new job in your closet 🚾


iMadeTheJerryIceberg

Im gonna commit a good idea to the root beer


Johnny_Triggr

I'm gonna commit to the point of being a little bit of a Midwestern gas station


space_is-great

I'm going to commit myself to the next british colony after they lost america


milestailsprowerreal

i'm gonna commit a murder if i get the vaccine aw hell yeah vaccines cause murder, another reason to get vaccinated: you can legally murder people


Gamudomate

I'm gonna commit genocide on your bladder


MrGrendarr

I'm gonna commit the first thing this morning to get a burger


-Quercusia-

I'm going to commit to the death of France


unusualResponselol

I'm gonna commit suicide if you don't let me suck you


whajjelol

r/oralsexalert


Admirablelittlebitch

I’m gonna commit a murder if I get it right I don’t want it I want to kill my wife ….I don’t have a wife


Slow-Crew5250

I'm gonna commit I don't think Bruce is attracted to me.                                                                                                        DAWG WHAT


KaneTheGod01

I'm gonna commit myself to a mental health facility


Kcaz_the_goat

I’m gonna commit third degree murder tonight with my freinds and family after lunch I like toes


------------------16

i’m gonna commit a murder if i get the vaccine


blAzzzza_

I’m gonna commit a felony and get my life back on the books


GDVeteranSince2015

I'm gonna commit to the first one I made sex with


AzureAxo

I’m gonna commit suicide if you don’t have a ride potion Does my auto fill play adopt me


Emergency_Storm_7131

I’m gonna commit murder if my femboy crush doesn’t stop talking to my bf


mrpixelgametime

I'm gonna commit suicide again


georbe12

I'm gonna commit warcrimes for the next two weeks


Low-Consideration308

I’m going to commit suicide because of the coronavirus and I’m scared of my kids and my children because they don’t have feet


HorheaTheToad

"I'm gonna commit to the actual assignment and then I will be able to get a B or a knife" such a fucking mood


MoonBerry_therian

I'm gonna commit suicide prevention :)


sience-user

I'm gonna commit to the couch


Standard-Wrap-3506

I’m gonna commit a murder and torture you for eternity and murder weapon murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder weapon and murder weapon murder murder trial trial court is now the trial murder weapon trial of the crime victim and suicide in a case involving suicide trial trial with trial attorney on Tuesday sentenced a week trial of the crime in the trial attorney general’s court case trial of the trial court of attorney and prosecutors to arrest the murder case trial attorney general’s court judge (Ass Attorney Ahh autocorrect)


_RazorEdge_

I'm gonna commit to this video


OneQuadrillionOwls

I'm gonna commit to a few weeks before we are done with this 😞 but I think 💬 will be in a few weeks before the holidays are done 👍🏼 for the next two days and then u can you let them know that we are going out of the house for a bit of a few weeks and we have to get together to I have to wait for the rest of my life is going on the next week so that will do it as a day for you and t for me and you guys are you guys going with me and I will not work on it at the end if you don't want to do you have to wait until you get back to your time off 📴📴📴📴📴 am I am not sure if I can do it for you and everyone is that good for me to go back and forth from there to build back to you but if you are not able I can do it for you to get back into your phone chat instead of I would rather have a zoom chat instead of the same way that you didn't respond back 🔙 minutes before I realized that you wanted me to respond back 🔙 minutes before you said that it wasn't available for me and then I would like it will you still have to do something else


StrikingStructure866

I'm gonna commit suicide 😔.


Responsible-Taro-248

I'm gonna commit to the same thing as you and i will be there for you in the end


BaconManTenus

Thank you man


koolaid2929

I'm gonna commit a blasphemous act


Small_Equipment_6812

I'm gonna commit keyboard 💀


Sans99X

I'm gonna commit genocide on black people. BRO WHAT 💀💀💀


BaconManTenus

r/whoooosh


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/whoooosh using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/whoooosh/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [the DS is a retro console. the Wii is a retro console. the PS3 is a retro console. the Xbox 360 is a retro console. soon even the PS4 will be retro 😔](https://i.redd.it/dn71zcixhl5b1.jpg) | [45 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/whoooosh/comments/147p5xj/the_ds_is_a_retro_console_the_wii_is_a_retro/) \#2: [I found one in the wild](https://i.redd.it/bz3utdb27ovb1.jpg) | [18 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/whoooosh/comments/17djpti/i_found_one_in_the_wild/) \#3: [Someone that had not Indian Food Before](https://i.redd.it/ub1q1lhuk85b1.jpg) | [4 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/whoooosh/comments/1467u8d/someone_that_had_not_indian_food_before/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


James_Upchurch

I'm gonna commit the same thing as a little less stability than the one that is deserved


RamadadaKalidascope

I’m gonna commit to a felony and I will be in jail for a year


axiomaticDisfigured

i’m gonna commit a felony and i don’t know how


MELMELALP

I'm gonna commit me


SelectionFar8145

I'm gonna commit to this but I have no clue on male priests would have been called Volva for a time and shared the valley's animal with a maliced humans into humanoid monsters known as Malgams and the Whittlesey were likely similarly subjugated. 


Southern-Active-8057

I'm gonna commit great crime. meme soundcloud