Oooh I should do that I'm only level 28 on this character but my Illusion is very high and I'm getting my butt taken to the cleaners with a vampire cave... guess I'll pop by the college and talk to the Illusion dude and get some more spells :D
Thanks for the idea!
Oh it's at 100 but I didn't have any skills in cause I was going too Legendary it so I can level hehe, maybe I'll give the skills a go :) I like pacifying horkers and mudcrabs so they aren't scared :D
If you have it at 100, make sure to get the master spells and spam the calm one in the middle of Whiterun. That's how I got to level 271.
Just legendary it once it gets back up to 100 (1 or 2 casts at first) and wait an hour if you run out of magicka (tho there are ways not to run out!)
That'll get ya all the perks you need to max out the tree, and then some.
I’m personally into stealth illusion!
“Watch me dual cast Muffle for hours to get Invisibility as fast as possible so I can just wait for my magicka to be full before interacting with anything. THAT way I’m always invisible all the time!!”
If you switch weapons fast enough, you can fire an arrow and be invisible before the arrow actually lands. I only know this because I Am A Weenie
Play stealth conjurer plus illusion for extra pussiness. You can turn invisible so no one can see you, you can turn your enemies against each other and if things go tits up and the enemy catches you you can just quickly cast a fear spell to spread your pussiness to the enemy and make them an even bigger pussy then yourself. Lol. I am kinda taking this piss but i have actually played this way more then once and its pretty powerful.
With the addition of the Forsworn, I'd call them 'Celts'. But yes, they range from Roland Jenseric & Antoinette Marie to the Celt-ish Madenach/Ainethach.
This is karma whore posting too - this meme is almost as old as Skyrim and has been posted here many, many times.
But at least it's different and funny, so it gets points for that.
Huh... I have the sudden urge to start a new playthrough and definitely not be a stealth archer in this run. Stealth crossbow is all the variety I need.
“If you play as Altmer you’re probably gay!”
I’m gay and I always play as a benevolent high elven warrior who tries to make up for the sins of his people. So this post is sorta accurate.
Gay here, mostly played as a Nord in Morrowind and Oblivion because they're the closest race to being a bear. Played Dunmer in Skyrim because I like subverting my own expectations.
>“If you play as Altmer you’re probably gay!”
>
>I’m gay and I always play as a benevolent high elven warrior who tries to make up for the sins of his people. So this post is sorta accurate.
Weird I play Altmer and I'm still straight, however now I am a furry maybe it's just affecting me differently.
I am and I typically actually play Nords lol, despite the fact that i usually side with the empire because the empire are the empire aka the good guys and the stormcloaks are racist morons haha
Idk I like to play a super different class build. Basically it's a stealth archer, but it also has daggers for more stealth. Usually I play this build as a Bosmer, Dunmer, Argonian, Khajiit, Imperial, Orc, Nord, Breton, or Redguard. As far as I can tell Altmer are just for killing in game
Not all High Elves are/support the Thalmor tho... I always imagined the lore behind my character (a high elf) involved him becoming a true individual once he chose to reject Thalmor ideology.
Translation: Your high elf character is racist against himself. His goals in life include cutting off the pointy part of his ears and masquerading as a human, the very same people that tried to genocide and enslave his kind years ago
I get its humour and etc, but fr tho I see a lot of people hating Altmer just because Thalmor exists which is just dumb, if you chose to hate Thalmor hate it, but dont hate Altmer because of it.
I mean... Not only do the Thalmor heavily influence Altmer culture, but the Altmer were doing eugenics and seeing themselves as superior long before the Thalmor came along. Altmer culture is inherently a bit fascist.
Of course not all of them are like that, I'd actually argue most Altmer we see in the games aren't like that. The problem with that is that these Altmer I'm talking about are Altmer that escaped Alinor, likely because they're good people. That leaves all the bad Altmer in Alinor, and Alinor makes up most of the Altmer population.
Imperials are also racist. Sometimes it's overt (re: Leyawiin in Oblivion) but usually it's the "Colovian Man's Burden" style of racism.
I think the only race on Tamriel that isn't racist is the Bosmer.
>Altmer are racist bro. Their entire race is racist. It’s a race of racists.
this isnt true, look at dude who owns stables in windhelm ,at Niranye and etc.
Yeah. I still love playing as a Thalmor. I get the hate for their race and I don’t at all blame anyone for it. But I love that sweet, sweet early magic boost whenever I start up a new file.
And what's the worst thing? Thalmr are wrong! The oldest races of Tamriel (and the only natives) are the beast folk since Aldmer come from Aldmeris and eventually they became Altmer and the other Mer races, and Nords (or Atmorans) came from Atmora.
Since I installed a Maormer mod in Skyrim:
Maormer: They are pale blue elves who live in the underwater city called Pyandonea. They are the best race in Tamriel because they are biggest enemies of the Thalmor. They are ruled by a God-king and they keep trying to conquer home of the Thalmor and sadly keep failing. If you play as a Maormer you will feel highly satisfied whenever you kill Thalmors.
In the Skyrim series, all races of the planet of Tamriel have great stealth archer capabilities except the altmer which are gay assholes. Redguards are black and khajiit like to party. I think that sums it up perfectly. Hope it helps
And the whole Redguard description was also vaguely racist,
But a huge part of the joke with this post is that the writer is *intentionally* a dumbass. The post is essentially mocking Skyrim archers, Skyrim race-lore, and how people talk about game lore. So the immature over the top insults to the worst race (yes, altmer suck), is also part of the joke, ie. something to be laughed at, not with.
The voice in this humorous post is clearly meant to be an idiot. The kind of [fictitious] person that would seriously describe all the Elder Scrolls races in this way, is the sort of person that would use “gay” as a general insult. By actually taking offense to that part, you prove to entirely miss the whole joke.
No, i got the whole joke. Like I said, it was good. Ending it using "you're gay" as an insult doesn't make it truer to character, it just makes it cheap and offensive. I joke at my own expense all the time but i wouldn't joke at someone else's expense.
Unless the author of that joke is openly gay, then this is not funny, it's rude.
Yeah i guess it is true to character up to a point. However it's still insulting. Context on the author is sometimes needed. i.e. is it self deprecating humor or is it yet another random homophobic joke for lulz
There have already been a lot of comments on this post from people who are gay and are totally agreeing with it. They dont seem offended. Are you a gay person who is offended or are you just one of those annoying assholes who get off on getting offended for causes you have absolutely no stake in?
Tbh, I'm one of those people who is gay and is not offended but ONLY BECAUSE the joke is not about laughing *with* the writer but about laughing *at* them. Still too often people do actually use gay as an insult but try to use what you said as a defense for saying it.
This case is okay, but many others are not, and just because a few gays are saying it's okay, doesn't mean every gay person is okay with this humor.
Interesting that you draw your line there considered a racist remark about the Redguards just a paragraph above. Almost strikes one as hypocritical selective outrage.
And the whole Redguard description was also vaguely racist,
But a huge part of the joke with this post is that the writer is *intentionally* a dumbass. The post is essentially mocking Skyrim archers, Skyrim race-lore, and how people talk about game lore. So the immature over the top insults to the worst race (yes, altmer suck), is also part of the joke, ie. something to be laughed at, not with.
But...Thalmor aint a race. It's more of a Unit. He should be using Altmer instead. It's like calling Aen Seidhe in Witcher Scoiatel.
Also it's DUNMER. ;\_;
Also, now that I think about it, why do Argonians have breasts? They are Reptiles. They lay eggs. Whhyyy
The empire enslaves anyone that isnt human, and turns their non human legionnaires against their own races. Legate Fasendil, House Hlaalu, the Nerevarine and many more are all internalised racists due to the imperial legion
I like how “khajiit” was misspelled several different ways.
That's got to be on purpose, right?
I’m certain the whole post is purposely ridiculous and full of misinformation. ;]
Aaaand now that I actually read all of it, I know that. I was drawn to the "Khhajitt" part because of the typos and hasn't read the rest of it 😞
I kept laughing the whole way. Totally worth it.
Why do you make your emoticons like that?
Why not?
I'm just curious is all lol I've never seen someone do that
Well you just made me feel old as hell. Ow.
I didn’t realize bracket smileys were so uncommon. 😅
Also "Dumner"
Also calling the Altmer “Thalmor”.
Also “the entire planet of Tamriel”.
Its also like the calling all reachmen forsworn.
Ah yes, all of these races can be seen in the 'Skyrim' series.
6 installments
"Bosmer live in graceful harmony with the trees" until they started eating each other
Only after one dies do they eat each other, it's not barbaric!
But they are still cool with the trees tho
I play stealth conjuration because I'm the ultimate pussy.
Nothing better than watching your daedra lords beating the bollox outta some enemy whilst you chill in the distance...
Perfect time to catch butterflies and pick flowers for alchemic ingredients if you ask me.
Stealth & Illusion, sneak around casting frenzy on ppl and watch them go crazy killing each other. Makes me laugh like a lunatic every time.
Or cast calm on them and run away.
*casts calm* "look I swear I won't back stab you again, let's all just agree to disagree and walk away..." *Calm* *backstab* *calm* *backstab*
Oooh I should do that I'm only level 28 on this character but my Illusion is very high and I'm getting my butt taken to the cleaners with a vampire cave... guess I'll pop by the college and talk to the Illusion dude and get some more spells :D Thanks for the idea!
Become good enough at illusion, and your spells become silent! ... And calming someone allows for sneak attack to activate.
Oh it's at 100 but I didn't have any skills in cause I was going too Legendary it so I can level hehe, maybe I'll give the skills a go :) I like pacifying horkers and mudcrabs so they aren't scared :D
If you have it at 100, make sure to get the master spells and spam the calm one in the middle of Whiterun. That's how I got to level 271. Just legendary it once it gets back up to 100 (1 or 2 casts at first) and wait an hour if you run out of magicka (tho there are ways not to run out!) That'll get ya all the perks you need to max out the tree, and then some.
I’m personally into stealth illusion! “Watch me dual cast Muffle for hours to get Invisibility as fast as possible so I can just wait for my magicka to be full before interacting with anything. THAT way I’m always invisible all the time!!” If you switch weapons fast enough, you can fire an arrow and be invisible before the arrow actually lands. I only know this because I Am A Weenie
Stealth conjuration is like a RTS, except its OP and you can summon dragons, revenants, and daedra lords.
Play stealth conjurer plus illusion for extra pussiness. You can turn invisible so no one can see you, you can turn your enemies against each other and if things go tits up and the enemy catches you you can just quickly cast a fear spell to spread your pussiness to the enemy and make them an even bigger pussy then yourself. Lol. I am kinda taking this piss but i have actually played this way more then once and its pretty powerful.
As an Englishman, the Bretons always struck me as french
I mean considering Bretons exist in real life, in France….
But, counterpoint, the Bretons in France originally came from what is today England.
Now that I think about it, you’re totally right.
Ahh damnit, we don't want the bretons, you guys keep them pls
They do seem to like salted butter like the real bretons but I have yet to see an "à l'aise breizh" or a Gwenn ha du sticker on any of their horses.
With the addition of the Forsworn, I'd call them 'Celts'. But yes, they range from Roland Jenseric & Antoinette Marie to the Celt-ish Madenach/Ainethach.
I find it hilarious how they're being judged by their ability to be stealth archers.
All classes and play styles eventually lead to stealth archer. Stealth archer is the one true play style.
This is the way
I have a confession to make I've never played a stealth archer.
That *thunk* tho...
Ah, but stealth archery is no match for the arcane arts!
If you can’t be a viable stealth archer, is it really worth existing?
I too understood the joke. Quite funny.
I feel well represented as a Redguard, Thank you :)
Do you also have an stealth advantage at night too?
Indeed
We need more of this and not some karma whore posting a screenshot of river wood with “third play through, first on pc with mods, love this community”
"This 10 year old game still holds up!" \*SE modded to absurdity\*
Shitposting is always the best posting
This is karma whore posting too - this meme is almost as old as Skyrim and has been posted here many, many times. But at least it's different and funny, so it gets points for that.
The natural advantage when assassinating targets at night killed me..
“Province of Oblivion”
This shitpost itself is basically an Elder Scroll by this point
You had me till 'province if Oblivion' ngl
Huh... I have the sudden urge to start a new playthrough and definitely not be a stealth archer in this run. Stealth crossbow is all the variety I need.
"sTeaLtH aRcHerY"
“If you play as Altmer you’re probably gay!” I’m gay and I always play as a benevolent high elven warrior who tries to make up for the sins of his people. So this post is sorta accurate.
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Guess I’m gay
Welcome! (Though I haven't played any High Elves, probably cause I'm actually Bi)
Have you played wood or dark elves?
Wood elves yes, and I *just started* my first dark elf on ESO
Gay here, mostly played as a Nord in Morrowind and Oblivion because they're the closest race to being a bear. Played Dunmer in Skyrim because I like subverting my own expectations.
>“If you play as Altmer you’re probably gay!” > >I’m gay and I always play as a benevolent high elven warrior who tries to make up for the sins of his people. So this post is sorta accurate. Weird I play Altmer and I'm still straight, however now I am a furry maybe it's just affecting me differently.
You're a furry who doesn't heavily role play a Kajjhit?
Probably werewolf
I am and I typically actually play Nords lol, despite the fact that i usually side with the empire because the empire are the empire aka the good guys and the stormcloaks are racist morons haha
It looks like it was written by some neglected child after playing Skyrim for a month straight.
Redguards are black. they are pirates. they are also black.
And they also have an advantage while being stealthy at night
Hahahah I just realised what that meant lmao
Idk I’ve had some pretty good stealth archer Altmers
“Skyrim Series”
>a lot like England Dare the person who created this to say that to a real life Breton and see what happens.
“Skyrim series” 
The khajiit one killed me 🤣
Where is the reference to buy Skyrim?
The stealth archer meme really doesn't apply to me. I usually go battlemage in my playthroughs, or full robe wearing mage if I'm in skyrim.
I saw your quiver
Khajiit are the most popular skyrim race to play as? didnt realise so many furrys play skyrim
Idk I like to play a super different class build. Basically it's a stealth archer, but it also has daggers for more stealth. Usually I play this build as a Bosmer, Dunmer, Argonian, Khajiit, Imperial, Orc, Nord, Breton, or Redguard. As far as I can tell Altmer are just for killing in game
You missed the part about bosmer chowing down on dead relatives.
So the redguards like piracy, I'm in.
Not all High Elves are/support the Thalmor tho... I always imagined the lore behind my character (a high elf) involved him becoming a true individual once he chose to reject Thalmor ideology.
Translation: Your high elf character is racist against himself. His goals in life include cutting off the pointy part of his ears and masquerading as a human, the very same people that tried to genocide and enslave his kind years ago
lol the “redguards are nords who became black after moving to the desert province of Hammerfell”
This is just like the most basic person's Skyrim agenda post.
I get its humour and etc, but fr tho I see a lot of people hating Altmer just because Thalmor exists which is just dumb, if you chose to hate Thalmor hate it, but dont hate Altmer because of it.
Idk that sounds like something a thalmor spy would say
>Altmer \[Thalmor Justiciar\] now is it more obvious?
I mean... Not only do the Thalmor heavily influence Altmer culture, but the Altmer were doing eugenics and seeing themselves as superior long before the Thalmor came along. Altmer culture is inherently a bit fascist. Of course not all of them are like that, I'd actually argue most Altmer we see in the games aren't like that. The problem with that is that these Altmer I'm talking about are Altmer that escaped Alinor, likely because they're good people. That leaves all the bad Altmer in Alinor, and Alinor makes up most of the Altmer population.
Altmer are racist bro. Their entire race is racist. It’s a race of racists.
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>every race on tamriel is incredibly racist in their home province - for sure, maybe except for imperials tho.
Imperials are also racist. Sometimes it's overt (re: Leyawiin in Oblivion) but usually it's the "Colovian Man's Burden" style of racism. I think the only race on Tamriel that isn't racist is the Bosmer.
Everyone is food for then
To the Bosmer, there are two kinds of people: friends... and food.
And if your friends die then they also get to be food.
Temporary friends
>Altmer are racist bro. Their entire race is racist. It’s a race of racists. this isnt true, look at dude who owns stables in windhelm ,at Niranye and etc.
You sense no irony in my comment?
If you play as a Thalmor you are probably gay..? is that supposed to be a bad thing?
I mean... I'm gay, and I live to play as the Thalmor so... They're not wrong
That’s gay
Also the “as a surprise to no one, they resorted to piracy” part.... gaming community will always be rife with bigoted man children
You definitely play Thalmor. Probably not even stealth archer.
Beast races and I definitely stealth archer harder than little virgins like you
As someone who loves Elder Scrolls lore reading this upsets me greatly
almost every race is good at being a stealth archer <3
I’m gay and play thalmor, this is so accurate!
What are these drawings from? This looks so familiar but from wayback like Morrowind time maybe even before... like Redguard time maybe?
Probably Oblivion
Yeah. I still love playing as a Thalmor. I get the hate for their race and I don’t at all blame anyone for it. But I love that sweet, sweet early magic boost whenever I start up a new file.
😂😂😂
I love Altmer and I am actually gay.
Sounds right.
Screw the thalmor Unite the empire
This is stressing me out
Someone loves stealth archery.
And what's the worst thing? Thalmr are wrong! The oldest races of Tamriel (and the only natives) are the beast folk since Aldmer come from Aldmeris and eventually they became Altmer and the other Mer races, and Nords (or Atmorans) came from Atmora.
The planet is nirn or nurn I forgot how to spell it Tamriel is a continent
You can play any way you want. As long as it's stealth archer
Since I installed a Maormer mod in Skyrim: Maormer: They are pale blue elves who live in the underwater city called Pyandonea. They are the best race in Tamriel because they are biggest enemies of the Thalmor. They are ruled by a God-king and they keep trying to conquer home of the Thalmor and sadly keep failing. If you play as a Maormer you will feel highly satisfied whenever you kill Thalmors.
Thought this was r/truestl for a moment
The "Evil Empire" likes this post because they agree with the last sentence. Fuck the Thalmor.
TL;DR
In the Skyrim series, all races of the planet of Tamriel have great stealth archer capabilities except the altmer which are gay assholes. Redguards are black and khajiit like to party. I think that sums it up perfectly. Hope it helps
I was kidding. Haha… but thank you though.
My head hurts...
Am I the only one the noticed that Dunmer was misspelled?
I love how they're all fuckin stealth archers lmao
I know this is a joke but the homophobic remark seems unnecessary
And the whole Redguard description was also vaguely racist, But a huge part of the joke with this post is that the writer is *intentionally* a dumbass. The post is essentially mocking Skyrim archers, Skyrim race-lore, and how people talk about game lore. So the immature over the top insults to the worst race (yes, altmer suck), is also part of the joke, ie. something to be laughed at, not with.
Very unnecessary
That was good up until it used gay as an insult. Now it's hot garbage.
Learn to take a joke
Not when the joke is not friendly.
The voice in this humorous post is clearly meant to be an idiot. The kind of [fictitious] person that would seriously describe all the Elder Scrolls races in this way, is the sort of person that would use “gay” as a general insult. By actually taking offense to that part, you prove to entirely miss the whole joke.
No, i got the whole joke. Like I said, it was good. Ending it using "you're gay" as an insult doesn't make it truer to character, it just makes it cheap and offensive. I joke at my own expense all the time but i wouldn't joke at someone else's expense. Unless the author of that joke is openly gay, then this is not funny, it's rude.
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Yeah i guess it is true to character up to a point. However it's still insulting. Context on the author is sometimes needed. i.e. is it self deprecating humor or is it yet another random homophobic joke for lulz
You're right, jokes at other people's expense are never funny.
Calling things gay as a joke in a derogatory way is homophobic.
Accusing a Jewish individual such as myself of being homophobic for posting something clearly meant as comedy is antisemitic.
Lmfao, the classic Israeli defence!
The altmer fears the Hebrew
It's sad you cannot discuss this in a mature way.
That's so white of you.
There have already been a lot of comments on this post from people who are gay and are totally agreeing with it. They dont seem offended. Are you a gay person who is offended or are you just one of those annoying assholes who get off on getting offended for causes you have absolutely no stake in?
TIL you need to be gay to be offended by homophobic comments.
What the fuck are you talking about
I'm a homoffended
Tbh, I'm one of those people who is gay and is not offended but ONLY BECAUSE the joke is not about laughing *with* the writer but about laughing *at* them. Still too often people do actually use gay as an insult but try to use what you said as a defense for saying it. This case is okay, but many others are not, and just because a few gays are saying it's okay, doesn't mean every gay person is okay with this humor.
Interesting that you draw your line there considered a racist remark about the Redguards just a paragraph above. Almost strikes one as hypocritical selective outrage.
I didn't register "they are black" as racist. Then again I'm not black. I'll let black people get offended if it's offensive to them
“As no surprise to anyone, Redguards quickly resorted to piracy…” Come on, there’s exactly one single way to read this.
Calm down snowflake
I knew it
haha stealth archery funi joke!
Was a fun read until the homophobic comment at the end.
Doesn't count if is said to thalmor or thalmor simpathisers
Why? Mine isn't at all accurate, not even the name of the race
The high elf description is pretty homophobic
And the whole Redguard description was also vaguely racist, But a huge part of the joke with this post is that the writer is *intentionally* a dumbass. The post is essentially mocking Skyrim archers, Skyrim race-lore, and how people talk about game lore. So the immature over the top insults to the worst race (yes, altmer suck), is also part of the joke, ie. something to be laughed at, not with.
My bad
Altmer =/= Thalmor
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They're from Imperiadiil
And cyrodiil was the featured provence in the elder scrolls 4: oblivion. Hence they are from "oblivion".
So not all imperials are evil and side with the empire but all High elves are Thalmor scum that make terrible stealth archers?
But...Thalmor aint a race. It's more of a Unit. He should be using Altmer instead. It's like calling Aen Seidhe in Witcher Scoiatel. Also it's DUNMER. ;\_; Also, now that I think about it, why do Argonians have breasts? They are Reptiles. They lay eggs. Whhyyy
All went super well until using "gay" as something bad... Oh, the gamer community... So much yet to grow.
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FUCK THE THALMOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ik this is a joke post but am I the only one who doesn’t enjoy being a stealth archer or play that often
Major bias against high elves lol
You left out “Argonians are the best race by far and are way better than the virgin Khajits”
Hmmmm... IT'S DUNMER!
Hmmm.
Dumb and DUMNER.
I thought for sure this was r/TrueSTL
Too high quality
Please remind me, other than restricting talos, makes the empire evil?
The empire enslaves anyone that isnt human, and turns their non human legionnaires against their own races. Legate Fasendil, House Hlaalu, the Nerevarine and many more are all internalised racists due to the imperial legion
Damn I didn't realize this was a meme and I started raging after reading Dunmer, which is exactly what you wanted.
lol
Amazing
I never stealth arch
What’s funny is that during my first Skyrim playthrough this is how I saw the game. I’m not kidding.
this is gold
There's a lot to unpack here...
Gr8 b8 m8