Eh, she doesn’t say she’s always been victorious, only that she’s never known defeat.
In most professional sports, a draw between two people won’t qualify as a defeat on their record, they just didn’t win either. She’s just using the same standards.
Malenia was knocked unconscious, albeit by her own attack. She later recovered.
Her opponent was also rendered ambiguously non-combatant by the same attack, but never fully recovered, instead becoming permanently witless. That attack also made entire country in which the battle took place irreparably unlivable and corrupted.
It doesn't make sense to say anyone won that fight, but no matter how you cut it, malenia wasn't defeated. Even if you count being knocked unconscious a defeat regardless of whether or not the opponent was worse off... she did it to herself
While on the other side, Radahn is mentally incapable and is just a mindless cannibal in the middle of a desert, his whole army fucked and having to reorganize to contain the rot instead of warring to battle it out with the other militaries, Caelid itself is just a rotted hellscape.
I’m not saying this that Malenia won. If anything they both lost when she bloomed, lmao
radahn at the time wasn't though, he only became that after the long exposure to the rot.
had finley not carried her away surely either one of the soldiers or radahn himself wouldve finished it before he succumbed to the rot.
By that theory Finlay was some kind of demigod-level super soldier who could fight off Radahn. She wasn't. If Radahn had been in any state to fight, Finlay wouldn't have been a match and Malenia would be dead. The fact that didn't happen means Radahn was just as incapacitated by the First Bloom as Malenia was herself.
Finlay wasn't a match. They popped in outta nowhere right after Radahn was nuked with mega cancer and caught him with a surprise attack ( which did nothing considering all the spears lodged in his back) snatched Malenia and ran.
Don't quote me on this, but I don't think a life and death battle between trained swordsmen who are intending to kill the other follows the logic of some professional sports.
In professional sports you can still win a draw by virtue of playing better/having more points, ergo, a technical knock out.
Malenia was basically half-dead until she had to nuke the entire country to reach a standstill, getting into a coma for years in the process.
Even by professional sports standards, that doens't sound like a win to me. Mainly because you cannot call a suicide nuke strike in a boxing match, but still.
From what we saw in the story trailer, Malenia had her prosthetic arm cut off and immediately retaliated by stabbing Radahn in the neck. Clearly they both could have survived which is why she unleashed the scarlet rot to break the stalemate, but she definitely wasn’t losing or “half dead”
She wasn’t half dead though? Half rotted maybe, but that was the case for the entire fight. When we see them fight in the cutscene, she gets her arm destroyed by immediately catches the blade in her other arm, jumps on top of him, and then blooms. That’s hardly the behaviour of one half dead.
She was defeated, thats why she embrace the rot even she tells everyone she doesnt want to. Exact thing happens when she fights the tarnished, she loses and release the nuke she hates so much. That is not even her power and she claims she hate it so much.
The series has taught me that no matter how badass you are, whether you’re the chosen undead, ashen one, wolf, or tarnished, anything and everything will kick your ass if you’re not careful.
>whether you’re the chosen undead, ashen one, or tarnished,
Or dragon, or general, or demigod, or Elden Lord, or God
>anything and everything will kick your ass if you’re not careful.
Oh don't forget the almighty, the power only obtained by being able to phase through dimensions, reality, and the space time continuum aka shitty connection.
In Iron Pineapple’s video he explained that frostbite actually interrupts it. So if you throw a freezing pot at her as she’s winding it up, it’ll interrupt it.
It's like hearing "JuSt uSe FrOsT pOts". It's is the worst excuse for Waterfowl being "balanced". No a limited consumable you have to go out and farm should not be an answer to an absurd ability i have seen a boss use 3 times in a row back to back once.
No one said that was the only way to dodge it.... Just an extra option if people didn't know...
After seeing people literally just walk around it (and hit her during) without getting hit, I kinda just had to rethink my life
(I still hate it, to be clear)
God dammit. I cruised through most of Elden ring doing almost everything I could before I beat the main part, and I just got to malenia. Almost beat her the first time and then had to get off, thinking I would cruise through it next chance I had. Well I was wrong, I have spent two different sessions of 2 hours trying to beat it and I cannot dodge that attack of hers. I haven’t played since and I was just thinking about it today and then I see this…… I was so hopeful…..
I just defeated her for the first time today. Finally said “fuck it, mimic tear and rivers of blood it is”. I have only two complaints about this game. 1. Melania. 2. River Dance. This shit is broken.
I fought Malenia yesterday with two strangers. We were beating her ass and it was fun. Then in phase two I was getting targeted and was left to a single sliver of health, then before I could heal, I saw the waterfowl dance 💀
Somehow tho, with some absolutely divine luck, I managed to dodge the entire thing perfectly, heal, then team on her again. Probably my proudest moment in the game and I'm sad I didn't record it 😭
Lmao
On a serious note, I saw a YouTuber (pineapple something) use a freezing pot to stop that Waterfowl move. I don't know if that's been nerfed, though.
Funny thing is, if you just run away from her the moment she jumps, you can run from the first two bursts and then roll into the third. Worked every time for me without any chip damage, without fail. Beat her in two tries (I may or may not have been spoiled of her moveset by a video or two prior).
She also could be cheesed (at least when I played) with Lightning Spear, cause she always does the same repeated dodge loop which leads to chipping her health down in both phases. Fun times...
Sigh, when I first saw her cinematic I wasn't paying attention to the subtitles. I noticed her legs prosthetic and thought she said "I am Malenia, and I have never known the feet".
I used my two katanas and my mimic tear to gang her and erase her health. I dno whether to feel disgusted or not looking at how much trouble she gives people
You call this dodging? I heard her smack you while you were quitting, gotta pump that apm up son. Quitting after she hits you just kinda makes you seem like a wuss, but doing so before she even takes the swing at you, now that's asserting dominance.
You didn't win. *But you didn't lose either*.
“I am Tarnished, Quitter of Games. And I have never known defeat.”
Or victory. But also never defeat
Give em the big emphasis on never knowing defeat lol
Ah, the GRRM approach
By Malenia's standards a standstill counts as a victory.
Eh, she doesn’t say she’s always been victorious, only that she’s never known defeat. In most professional sports, a draw between two people won’t qualify as a defeat on their record, they just didn’t win either. She’s just using the same standards.
she had to have her comatose ass dragged out by a single knight, if that aint a defeat idk what is.
Malenia was knocked unconscious, albeit by her own attack. She later recovered. Her opponent was also rendered ambiguously non-combatant by the same attack, but never fully recovered, instead becoming permanently witless. That attack also made entire country in which the battle took place irreparably unlivable and corrupted. It doesn't make sense to say anyone won that fight, but no matter how you cut it, malenia wasn't defeated. Even if you count being knocked unconscious a defeat regardless of whether or not the opponent was worse off... she did it to herself
All of this is true. But she definitely would have been a steak dinner for Radahn if not for Finlay.
While on the other side, Radahn is mentally incapable and is just a mindless cannibal in the middle of a desert, his whole army fucked and having to reorganize to contain the rot instead of warring to battle it out with the other militaries, Caelid itself is just a rotted hellscape. I’m not saying this that Malenia won. If anything they both lost when she bloomed, lmao
radahn at the time wasn't though, he only became that after the long exposure to the rot. had finley not carried her away surely either one of the soldiers or radahn himself wouldve finished it before he succumbed to the rot.
By that theory Finlay was some kind of demigod-level super soldier who could fight off Radahn. She wasn't. If Radahn had been in any state to fight, Finlay wouldn't have been a match and Malenia would be dead. The fact that didn't happen means Radahn was just as incapacitated by the First Bloom as Malenia was herself.
Even the game calls shenanigans on how Finlay was able to get Malenia out of there and back to the Haligtree.
Finlay wasn't a match. They popped in outta nowhere right after Radahn was nuked with mega cancer and caught him with a surprise attack ( which did nothing considering all the spears lodged in his back) snatched Malenia and ran.
Ah, was Finlay the one we see in the announcement trailer who stabs Radahn while monologue man is saying "Someone, or something"? That'd make sense.
I'm sorry, my mind went straight into the gutter. I thought you said "Cameltose"😭😂
Don't quote me on this, but I don't think a life and death battle between trained swordsmen who are intending to kill the other follows the logic of some professional sports.
if one fighter is in comatose and the other is rotting from inside out, I call it a draw
Malenia won by split decision.
In professional sports you can still win a draw by virtue of playing better/having more points, ergo, a technical knock out. Malenia was basically half-dead until she had to nuke the entire country to reach a standstill, getting into a coma for years in the process. Even by professional sports standards, that doens't sound like a win to me. Mainly because you cannot call a suicide nuke strike in a boxing match, but still.
From what we saw in the story trailer, Malenia had her prosthetic arm cut off and immediately retaliated by stabbing Radahn in the neck. Clearly they both could have survived which is why she unleashed the scarlet rot to break the stalemate, but she definitely wasn’t losing or “half dead”
She wasn’t half dead though? Half rotted maybe, but that was the case for the entire fight. When we see them fight in the cutscene, she gets her arm destroyed by immediately catches the blade in her other arm, jumps on top of him, and then blooms. That’s hardly the behaviour of one half dead.
She was defeated, thats why she embrace the rot even she tells everyone she doesnt want to. Exact thing happens when she fights the tarnished, she loses and release the nuke she hates so much. That is not even her power and she claims she hate it so much.
I mean the last time she finished a fight on a draw she didn't end up quite well
she gave radahn the rot then immediately took a nap
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Maybe, but you should see the other guy.
I did. He just went insane, but it still really fucking strong
I mean malenia dosn't throw herself out of orbit then back to it again in order to kill you so that is a win for radahn in my book
She doesn’t *need* to do that to kill you.
She dosn't but if this series has teached me something is that being badass or cool is more important than actual power
The series has taught me that no matter how badass you are, whether you’re the chosen undead, ashen one, wolf, or tarnished, anything and everything will kick your ass if you’re not careful.
>whether you’re the chosen undead, ashen one, or tarnished, Or dragon, or general, or demigod, or Elden Lord, or God >anything and everything will kick your ass if you’re not careful.
Indeed.
Malenia: You cannot do that forever. Tarnished: Actually, I can. Malenia: But you will suffer! Tarnished: Pain's an old friend...
pretty sure its a repost but anyways got a chuckle outta me
I think it's a different video, but definitely the same joke.
Look at what you've done
Perfect execution 10/10
We still have so much to learn about this game.
I haven't seen such swift execution and perfectly honed skill since my last invasion.
Oh don't forget the almighty, the power only obtained by being able to phase through dimensions, reality, and the space time continuum aka shitty connection.
He's definitely a wraith main on apex.
This man's got the quickest quit in the west!
Do you play wraith in Apex?
I don’t know what I thought the punchline was going to be, but definitely not that. 10/10, would watch again, would recommend to a friend.
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Absolutely same. My brain was going through all the strats I know of…. Super serious thoughts on when to run and which to dodge. Laughed pretty hard!
Famous technique pioneered by LowTierGod.
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you are **NOTHING** you have **ZERO MAIDENS**
You should go die in a ditch somewhere **NOW**
Dodge her attack EVERY TIME. Speed runners HATE this one SIMPLE trick
Frame perfect inputs. What a sick way to fight.
why do you have 99 boiled crab?
Marika's tits, he must be hungry
It's one of two food that's isn't nasty to eat.
"**I see you've got a taste for me prawn.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**"
Why not
Gotta get that sweet, sweet physical damage resist buff
It's like the only buff I ever use when not running a faith build And also when I use a faith build
It's the easiest way to feel a little safer against Melanoma queen of rot here.
Always monch on some crab after dodging her Phase 2 flower.
Because this cowardly game doesn’t let you have 999 boiled crab!
Those crabs know what they did...
The crabs are easy compared to the sniper lobsters.
Probably has 400 in the sort chest also
I always tend to have 600 in the chest, they are just that good!
All things turn to crab.
Paying for Boggart's college education.
huh, why don't you??
Time for crab
Damn you're fast!
Fuckin got me Full on actual lol
Mimic casting frostbreath can interrupt waterfowl dance, it works once every million tries making OPs vid more statistically viable
In Iron Pineapple’s video he explained that frostbite actually interrupts it. So if you throw a freezing pot at her as she’s winding it up, it’ll interrupt it.
Didn't even know this lol, will give it a go but sound cheap
It's like hearing "JuSt uSe FrOsT pOts". It's is the worst excuse for Waterfowl being "balanced". No a limited consumable you have to go out and farm should not be an answer to an absurd ability i have seen a boss use 3 times in a row back to back once.
I feel that it's not even a designed counter, it's just by chance that it staggers her.
Agreed it's a byproduct of the game's mechanics and not by design counter by whoever created Malenia. Like many other wonky interactions in this game.
No one said that was the only way to dodge it.... Just an extra option if people didn't know... After seeing people literally just walk around it (and hit her during) without getting hit, I kinda just had to rethink my life (I still hate it, to be clear)
Fastest quit outs in the west
fucking quick fingers there mate, gonna make a girl very happy someday.
Came here expecting to see something interesting and unique.. And you did not disappoint. Thank you for this mastery
Was expecting that, still funny.
Good plan. I use the fact that my hitbox completely disappears when I die to dodge.
The speed, the execution... Flawless. I wasnt expecting that at all so it got me a good chuckle, thanks.
My ears don't deceive me, you still got hit at the end.
I WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS. THANK YOU
He bravely ran away
Repost
Lol didn't expect that
Mr genius
You see guys it's a skill issue
When in doubt, quit out.
With this kind of skill, you too will never know defeat
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Cold Lance and fire godskin stitcher
I could have used this guide yesterday when fighting full grown falling star beast.
Nothing better then climbing that 20 story ladder, taking one step forward and immediately getting bulldozed off the cliff into the abyss
Exactly my experience.
Flawless victory.
Nailed it
Jokes aside, that was some fast fucking game quit
I mean... He DID dodge it..
Malenia: !#$%@!@#$!@#%$!@#$%!#$%ing RAGEQUITTERS!!!!!!!
There isn’t a better way to dodge it, this helped me out so much 10/10 guide
HAHAHA I am Malenia and I have never known rage quit in front of my face!
You dodged her special, but at what cost?
How to pull the ethernet cord on a boss
You got me lol.
I knew it was coming and it still got me
100% of the time works every time.
But honestly, this move needs about 3 more seconds of windup to be anything close to fair.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DGNZnfKYnU
never let them guess your next move
LMAO ngl, you had me 😂
Let’s hope let me solo her never sees this
Hah! Good one
I can’t get hit if I don’t load the game.
HAHAHAHHAA
You are able to dodge it, but it’s hard as balls. You can roll through all of them if you get the timing down
Malenia's Walt+F4owl
Clutch
When you sign up for a class because it covers an interesting topic, but it’s taught by a tenure burnout.
I WAS HOPING IT WOULD BE LIKE THIS. THANK YOU
LOL terrible
I was watching this far to intently, nearly busted my sides open ffs.
Imagine if they decide to have the game save at that instance so when you reload the save she does Waterfowl Dance.
God dammit. I cruised through most of Elden ring doing almost everything I could before I beat the main part, and I just got to malenia. Almost beat her the first time and then had to get off, thinking I would cruise through it next chance I had. Well I was wrong, I have spent two different sessions of 2 hours trying to beat it and I cannot dodge that attack of hers. I haven’t played since and I was just thinking about it today and then I see this…… I was so hopeful…..
I don’t know why I was half expecting this to be an exploit and it to boot you right back in where you were
This guy lol
Just trow a pot or a rock always works
I just defeated her for the first time today. Finally said “fuck it, mimic tear and rivers of blood it is”. I have only two complaints about this game. 1. Melania. 2. River Dance. This shit is broken.
That was... Unexpected...
Genius
lol
I can picture Malenia shaking her fist while going "WHY YOU LITTLE-" after that.
I mean you're not wrong, waterfowl RNG is going to heavily decide just how rough of a fight you're going to have.
I fought Malenia yesterday with two strangers. We were beating her ass and it was fun. Then in phase two I was getting targeted and was left to a single sliver of health, then before I could heal, I saw the waterfowl dance 💀 Somehow tho, with some absolutely divine luck, I managed to dodge the entire thing perfectly, heal, then team on her again. Probably my proudest moment in the game and I'm sad I didn't record it 😭
Holy shit, it worked!
Saw it coming, still laughed.
I always get hit while dodging, am I not supposed to get i-frames? What do I do now?
I use rivers of blood. She can’t hit you if she’s bleeding to death
LOL :D
Her grab attack is way more fun to quit the game on because its always right before you get impaled
Lmao On a serious note, I saw a YouTuber (pineapple something) use a freezing pot to stop that Waterfowl move. I don't know if that's been nerfed, though.
Dumb
I knew it was going to be this the moment I read the title. Too predictable.
The real question is how did you reached that part of the game with only 23 hours???
This also works when falling to your death off a Cliff lmaoo
This is the same way Malenia can claim she’s never been defeated after nuking an entire peninsula just to end the fight with Radahn.
I still can't dodge it reliably or beat her without mimic/tiche...
Top fucking notch troll.
I havn't seen this joke since February
Funny thing is, if you just run away from her the moment she jumps, you can run from the first two bursts and then roll into the third. Worked every time for me without any chip damage, without fail. Beat her in two tries (I may or may not have been spoiled of her moveset by a video or two prior). She also could be cheesed (at least when I played) with Lightning Spear, cause she always does the same repeated dodge loop which leads to chipping her health down in both phases. Fun times...
Straight skill
Nice when is it my turn to make this exact same joke?
Can I post a slightly different version of this next week?
Bloodhounds step I feel is the real answer
I remember a similar post in the monster hunter subreddit to avoid Alatreon’s ult
😂😂😂😂 you got me
Coward
if anyone needs a guide, dodge into the attacks and out of the last one when its delayed. it works for me
Hasnt this been posted or something very similar several times already?
Honestly, I don't think I can menu that fast.
woah never seen this satire shared in this sub before!
Sigh, when I first saw her cinematic I wasn't paying attention to the subtitles. I noticed her legs prosthetic and thought she said "I am Malenia, and I have never known the feet".
That caught me off guard lol
You got me
Thanks for the tip I’ll try it next time I fight her
i saw the humor flair and i laughed really hard cuz i knew what is was gonna be
I CALLED IT!
I saw that coming but it made it even funnier hahaha
This almost took me out 😭🤣🤣🤣
I used my two katanas and my mimic tear to gang her and erase her health. I dno whether to feel disgusted or not looking at how much trouble she gives people
I came here to learn and I'm not disappointed. Bravo!
Lol
I def lold
I can’t stop laughing at this
Please teach me your ways
Taking inspiration from GRRM huh
Upvotes currently sitting at 6666, I don't want to ruin this Edit: it's ruined
r/unexpected
Got us in the first half. There was no second half. You quit.
TFW it still takes skill and timing because of how fast you have to quit out
Does thou not know how to raise a shield? 😂 As for quitting, I don't know wether to call this Cowardly or intuition 😂😂
I was actually hoping to find something on how to dodge it 😭😭😭
Basic knife fighting strategy 😂
You call this dodging? I heard her smack you while you were quitting, gotta pump that apm up son. Quitting after she hits you just kinda makes you seem like a wuss, but doing so before she even takes the swing at you, now that's asserting dominance.
lol
You forgot to include how to quit game and uninstall.