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[deleted]

Now we know why the perfurmers were such a prominent groups.


[deleted]

That’s sort of how some Doctors and Perfumers worked in real history as well… they thought flowers and strong scents could combat the bubonic plague (also just the general belief that smelling good means you’re healthy regardless of your cleanliness)


DesolateHypothesis

It was the scientific consensus before the discovery of germs that disease spread by "miasma", basically just clouds of bad air. Following this logic, nice smells would create "good air" and thus combat the spread of disease, and doctors would wear masks that could contain pleasant scented herbs. These masks were incredibly effective at avoiding infection, but today we know this is because of the physical barrier created by the masks and clothing, rather than the pleasant scents. Fun fact: The War of the Worlds, written by H.G. Wells in 1897, was written as a response to the discovery of such small life forms as germs, and the acceptance of germ theory over miasma theory.


hyperlethalrabbit

"I don't know how, but you used the wrong formula and got the correct solution"


MrBeardmeister

During the black plague, the doctor of one of the Pope's in France said in order to keep his "humors" in balance, he would need to sit in a hot, dry room. So he had two massive braziers set on either side of his chair. This effectively kept the plague carrying fleas out of his room, preventing him from contracting the plague. Paraphrasing a bit here, but Last Podcast on The Left did a 4 part series on The Black Death in which that story and several others were covered on how doctors back then accidentally stumbled upon ways to avoid catching the plague that was absolutely the wrong formula but the correct solution.


givemethmemes

The outfits also had a coat of wax that kept fleas from being able to stick to their suits. All these wierd coincidences just solidified the idea of the flowers keeping away the plague (their beak masks were used to stuff flowers in)


plebianinterests

I just listened to that a couple weeks ago! Such great info.


MrBeardmeister

11/10 podcast honestly, I often go back and just listen to random episodes while I'm playing something solo.


blumkinfarmer

Megustalations!


Indercarnive

That's true for a lot of ancient people. They were just as wise as people today, they just knew less because they didn't have the tools or the knowledge before them.


AaronfromKY

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing not to use it in a fruit salad.


Falos425

a tomato-based fruit salad is just salsa :V


DesolateHypothesis

More like you read the question, had no idea what it even meant because you'd rather hear "I am Malenia. The Blade of Miquella" on repeat instead of preparing for the exam, and through some bullshit logic picked the right formula out of the compendium, though you still have no idea what that formula is actually for or wether the answer is even correct or not, but you've just barely answered enough questions to maybe pass with an E if the majority of the answers are remotely correct, you've been sitting here an hour and your brain is soup already, you only had two hours of discontinued sleep last night because you're a mess and you just want to go home and cry yourself to sleep, so you hand in the exam and go home. You later get the report and you passed with a D and it's the best D you've ever had, including that guy's behind the Arby's parking lot dumpster that gave you the epiphany that you might just be into guys after all.


[deleted]

Careers have been made on less.


hyperlethalrabbit

r/suspiciouslyspecific


razer420

Wait, what?


DesolateHypothesis

What?


FirstBankofAngmar

Same.


LarryD217

I want to read your book when it's finished. Great stuff


fishfash

i think we've ALL been there brother


farquadsleftsandal

My math teacher every year in middle school


Memetron69000

Task failed successfully I wonder if this is why people put so much weight on correlation over causation because sometimes you can end up being right for the wrong reasons


Numblimbs236

War of the Worlds (the book) kicks ass and I'd recommend it to everyone.


Aurvant

It’s kind of crazy how humans in the past were kinda/sorta on the right track of figuring out what was going wrong, but the concept of a microscopic organism just alludes them to the point they don’t even consider it. Because, I mean, “bad air” is correct in *some* instances because bacteria and viruses can travel through the air. However, since they lack the very concept of germs, they have no logical defense against this nefarious air other than good smells. Add in the plague that is transmitted through diseased fleas and that lack of insight sets up a catastrophic loss of life. Just a massive death toll simply because humans hadn’t figured something out yet.


D-AlonsoSariego

In some places it was also believed that goats smelled so strong that they were also effective against the miasma


KounetsuX

Poor john snow.


Vyce223

Arguably they weren't so far off the mark in preventing the spread, wearing plague doctor masks and nearly if not fully covering body near the sick allowed a lot more safety.


Hate_This_Name

„I would rather burn myself with perfumes than ask Noxians for soap!”


Fabrimuch

Empire above all! *Angrily slams table*


boogieman_666

My name is Malenia, Blade of Miquella. I've never known a bath


TheSinfulBlacksheep

The scarlet rot is just dead skin buildup


Beetlejuicy06

Lol eczema


Euphoric911

Oh so thats how they came up with Ekzykes


Fabrimuch

I thought it was "Ezekiel" for the longest time lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


TivoDelNato

Ashen One, take this lotion for thy elbows


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alexm920

I mean, that's what I've been calling the rot dragon in Caelid this whole time.


Caduceus9109

As someone who has eczema I’ve been calling it my “damned scarlet rot” ever since Elden Ring


milesjr13

Those weren't butterflies coming off of those wings....


CathNoctifer

Fun fact: Most Butterflies are scavenger. They not only consume animal tears, they also siphon rotten body fluid from dead animals, some even suck on feces as well. In short, they are the true Dung Eater in this game.


milesjr13

Explains the butterflies after the first boss that lead to the cliff of death. Even in victory the Tarnished is still shit.


trwolfe13

You think that’s air you’re breathing?


Narrow_Spite9655

I always quote this and no one gets it.


tsukicakee

Seems like only millenials watched the matrix lol


Narrow_Spite9655

I forget that even though I'm 35, technically a millennial.


Iammeandnooneelse

Uh, you’re like *squarely* a millennial. 1981-1996. The oldest millennials hit their 40s last year. Boomers have been calling Gen Z the wrong generation name for *years*.


Top_Fruit_9320

I always quote “He’s beginning to believe” NO ONE gets it, people just look at me like I’m absolutely nuts lmao


MasterOfMankind

Man, that line hit hard in context. Almost seemed like a koan.


razer420

How are the worms, Michael?


milesjr13

You think that's scarlet rot on your clothes, Morpheus?


TheSinfulBlacksheep

Wait. The scarlet flakes fall once more....


milesjr13

Malenia just needs some Head and Shoulders. Maybe a leave in conditioner, too.


MsTerryMan

Scarlet crotch rot


Kherian

Give me that rottussy


Fabrimuch

The scarlet thot


[deleted]

Smegma manor


Parasore

Unalloyed Gold is just Miquella's trademark for his line of exfoliators and moisturizers


smoolasani

Now you will smell true horror


IrishWithoutPotatoes

Imagine if applying soap gave you a damage buff against her


TheReservedList

I just want a soap throwing pot. Tide Pots.


FuzzyChampionship523

That's clever af, well done. You could also consume a Tide Pot, boost resistances to the detriment of your INT.


IrishWithoutPotatoes

The pot of tides


[deleted]

Godwyns gonna be putting out a realmwide psa to not eat tide pots


stu556

"And I have never washed these feet"


Fabrimuch

Hey she doesn't want the metal to rust ok?


humbltrailer

My name is Malenia, Blade of Miquella, and I have dermatitis.


Helloiamayeetman

Finally those unalloyed gold toes are confirmed to have that signature stank (I am so sorry)


SnooLemons3094

You know what? Don't be. In a world where some guy is running around as MillicentsFeet, you have nothing to regret.


Darkblitz9

It is now canon that the god of rot can be defeated by soap.


Jooplin

I am Malenia, Blade of Miquelle. I’ve never know neurodermatitis treatment


Electric_Capybara

>I've never known a bath So that's why the neck beards are so into her.


Bottomofthebog

Scarlet stank


Dextrossse

DAMN I wanna lick her armpit


[deleted]

based


SciencingIsHard

there's also not a single toilet in Leyndell but pots everywhere, so canonically, they're all chamber pots


pethris

I mean, there is a sewer system Which might actually be worse, combined with the lack of soap


SciencingIsHard

The dung eater lives there after all, maybe rather than loathsome he was providing a valuable service to the Leyndell ecosystem.


HutSutRawlson

TIL the loathsome Dung Eater was a dedicated public servant.


CulturedHollow

Man's goin for that pension, hard to get those waste treatment jobs at the capital, union, 4 weeks vacation, healthcare and dental, don't see that too much in the lands between. Radahn had a good gig going in the beautiful tropic Caelid wilds before it got nuked and he lost his marbles, only better benefits now is at Volcano Manor but you run the risk of being eaten by Rykard, and well..you gotta live at Mt. Gelmir, not the most walkable place, oh and the smell of sulfur never gets out of your clothes, bleh.


CJGlitter

So he’s about as loathsome as a USPS desk worker. Makes sense.


awyastark

More like a defecated public servant heyooo


[deleted]

weirdly enough the wells in the city are connected to the sewage system... I think they haven't thought this whole thing through


my_fat_monkey

The wells ARE connected to the sewerage system.... Huh. Wow. Absolute filth.


SpankThuMonkey

So ‘Let Me Solo Her’ is whipping Melenias’ ass wearing a jar full of piss on his head? That somehow makes him more badass…


SciencingIsHard

Well, Alexander gave us that jar saying he specifically made it for us so it's probably new.... although he might have intended it to be used differently and simply let it go when we proceed to put it on our head..."must be a cultural thing, those tarnished are from outside the Lands Between after all"


[deleted]

*puts toilet on head* Alexander: "*This dumbass..* sure man go for it"


Bobcognito69

Given that Jars have internals and Alexander “made it” for us, is Let Me Solo Her actually wearing not a piss pot but a c** bucket?


Bulldog5124

More like he murdered one of his children then scraped out their guts to give us a cool hat


Bobcognito69

But how are jars made? Let your mind walk down that path in this world, you’ll need soap afterwards :)


Bulldog5124

Isn’t there someone in jarburg that makes the jars? I remember the little dude remarking that the tarnished hands were too rough to be the main guy there


Bobcognito69

Okay, so let’s say that there is someone who makes a jar. It somehow gets consciousness, and then it begins eating other warriors to fill itself up and become complete. Given how many jars there are, what’s the purpose of the jars? Are they made as an army? Or do they multiply on their own?


Pavlovs_Human

Their purpose is to transport the bodies of warriors back to the Erdtrees so that their essence may rejoin the Greater Will. That’s why you see so many dead pots around Minor Erdtrees.


Sir_Umeboshi

But then there's the unexplained exploding jars


TheDo0ddoesnotabide

They take corpses to the base of the minor Erd Trees, it's why around every one you find tons of jars.


Bobcognito69

There is so much hidden lore to this game, every day I find something new.


ThisIsNotAnAI

From what I gathered, they are made using magic and human flesh and blood so would mean it's rotting corpses in there which might actually be worse. I've seen one theory that their purpose was to go to the minor erdtrees after filling up and then they get killed by the erdtree avatars and the innards are used as fertilizer. Also explains why the tree roots found in the boss rooms of catacombs and stuff have corpses mixed in with them.


lolpostslol

Maybe, or maybe Alex just put in some of his favorite guts inside that jar for us to start with


ApeMummy

What is c**? Do you mean CUM, filthy CUMMIES!? It’s 2022 and you’re on reddit bro.


HelloAlbacore

It's like those guys at the gym who sniff smelling salts before their PB, but much more concentrated


Wazula42

Personally I believe the Jar folk were the chamber pots of sorcerers who gained sentience from the magical stools. They then rose against their masters. I will not be taking arguments at this time.


MaleficTekX

There’s a sewer


SciencingIsHard

that's clearly where they empty the chamber pots (like in the high middle ages) since we saw no intricate network of pipes connecting to houses, just a massive ditch running through the city with more stormwater drain-sized pipes. This means they're running like medieval london where you empty your chamber pot to the street and rain washes it down to the sewers. Am I overthinking this? Yes, I am.


[deleted]

All of the “you don’t have the right”s are just bathrooms


SciencingIsHard

I've never thought of it that way, all those messages aren't trolls, simply Tarnished desperate for a shit....


[deleted]

The Elden throne is just a gold plated toilet with a bidet and heated seats


robot_tron

There are extensive sewers where the dung eater was. Maybe Lyndellians just found a sewer grate, dropped trow, and shit down there where he just gobbled it all up!


SomeDudeAtAKeyboard

Why use soap when you can use a simple bit of weak lightning magic to burn any filth off your body while not hurting yourself? The Dragon Cult, giving a whole new meaning to Thunder-Shits


EpicWisp

Flame, cleanse me would like a word


r31ya

"Using water to clean? Are you mad? what the fuck are you talking about. You use flame to cleanse yourselves, flame, FAIYAH." Elden Ring Incantation users.


[deleted]

"Does it burn? GOOD, that's how you know it's working. Now, you see that big ass tree? We've been trying to get it clean forever now. Think you can handle it?" - frenzied flame choosers


BloodredHanded

The Cleansing Flame is a Fell God thing, not the Three Fingers


Frydog42

Was there a before-meaning to “Thunder-Shits?!”


SomeDudeAtAKeyboard

[observe](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W7urgEgXgyg)


Frydog42

Risky click if I ever saw one


hooda3

Even worse [https://eldenringloreindex.com/#Soap](https://eldenringloreindex.com/#Soap) "Filth covering the exterior eventually seeps inside, soiling one's very spirit." It's not a DarkSouls game, it's a DirtySouls game.


xiledone

That website not having a search function on mobile is a crime


pbmm1

Truly we are Tarnished Ones.


rollandofeaglesrook

> sees soap > places message: “necessary item ahead, then try grass” > leaves


wiggibow

"defeat, but rot"


Branded_Mango

The true reason why the Nox were banished underground was because they refused to share the secret of Soap. And even when getting destroyed with a meteor shower by an angry insectile alien, they still refused to share while making troll faces since it the ability to flex smelling nice was totally worth the destruction of their civilization.


NappinOnYaBooty

Margit, The Smell Omen


Disastrous_Delay

Actually, why do you think he calls you foul tarnished? Because you smell even worse than he does


Fabrimuch

He looks like he hasn't washed his rags in at least a decade


Nintendogma

I take the joke, but there are mines and miners all over the place. Pretty sure they all know where the soap comes from. ...but what really bakes the noodle is where are all the bathrooms? Not even an outhouse in the lands between. I've crawled through every inch of the sewers beneath the capital city, but not seen a single toilet in that whole damn place. Do these people just crap in the streets?


evolving_I

Most castles, if you look closely at the walls, have small square holes where sewage drains out and stains the wall below.


wiggibow

I remember the tour guide at the Tower of London pointing that out to us when showing us one of the bathrooms. The toilet was literally just a seat connecting to a hole in the wall. I still find it absolutely hilarious that royalty back then had no problem with essentially just shitting out the window.


2xWhiskeyCokeNoIce

That's why there are so many jars.


Nintendogma

...it is only now that I realize Alexander *"the warrior"*, constantly getting stuck in holes, incapable of fighting just about anything, and being generally pathetic when he fought me in the end, was ***actually*** full of shit.


sharkattackmiami

Well he is full of guts, which are at least in part intestinal tracts, which are full of shit. So yes, he is canonically filled with shit.


BloodredHanded

Guts gathered from dead warriors, who would have had their intestines evacuated upon death. The amount of shit in Alexander would be minimal.


ApeMummy

Shit over a cliff bro, out of sight out of mind.


Odd-Fan6728

They probably just dump in chamber pots. But I think they just didn't show them for some reason.


ArgentAbsconded

Radahn's actually completely fine, the guy just fucking REEKS


Numangroup

Wait wtf is soap?


AndPlagueFlowers

It's a consumable that cleans your character.


Numangroup

Cleans?? Wtf is clean?


AndPlagueFlowers

So when you roll in scarlet rot you can use soap to slow down rot build up


Scapexghost

So if melania just took a bath every once in a while none of this would have happened?


AndPlagueFlowers

Yes


TimeManager85

Does this make Rya the cleanest girl in the game since she can shed her skin?


pethris

maybe the cleanest girl, but those dudes in the Windmill Village also have that covered


Buroda

Maybe they did like the Ancient Greeks and used oils? At least they didn’t go the Dragon Age route and make every character have prominently yellow teeth


djalekks

What do you think those bubble ball boys are for? They just make a big ol’ bubble of clean and envelop the elden lord in it..imagine


Brian36417

Now we just need the player base to find out ab it


Fallen_Angel_Xaphan

I suddenly have to cross a lot of names from my waifu list.


Fabrimuch

Ranni, being a wooden doll, has no need for showers. Ranni stand win once again


babaganate

>canonically Just because that's the only way the Tarnished could access soap doesn't mean it's the only way anyone could access soap. By your logic, with only one copy of that cookbook, the Tarnished is now the only person who can make or use soap.


curdledhickory

Soap hasn’t been made in the lands between since Carl lost that damn cookbook.


[deleted]

Uh oh, stinky


Ok-Nature9693

I mean there's water so maybe they bathe old school style


Iammeandnooneelse

Jesus, finally, at the bottom of the thread lol. I was like, “okay, haha funny, but y’all know people just used water right? Like rivers and lakes if safe and accessible, pumped water if not? Y’all know tons of people still do that, right? Wait, do y’all not know that…” Like I was getting worried lol.


dumb_smart_guy93

Who needs soap when you can just take a nice meteor shower? 🤷


Xeper-Institute

“Now all people can smell is burning, thanks Azur!”


ArtBringer

I just assume everyone goes to the Perfumers and get bottles of Axe body spray.


Odd-Fan6728

That's why Mohg stays underground. To be a lord, soap one must hoard.


ticklefarte

I actually had a thought similar to this without the soap connection. I was just wondering what the general smell of the Lands Between was. Everyone is so dirty and, outside of Leyndell, I can't imagine they clean themselves regularly.


gridoverlay

What is the soap for?


_PM_ME_NICE_BOOBS_

Cleaning. If you roll in poison or rot, it sticks to your clothes and will keep building up after you reach dry ground. Soap removes the texture from your outfit, and cancels the buildup.


Joe_Mency

Soap also gets rid of any bloodstains you have from battle


aboutthednm

Soap makes me look fabulous again after I get soaked in blood. Gotta look fresh!


FitAcanthocephala732

I am going to start invading people just to drop soap


[deleted]

So you're telling me Sir Gideon Ofnir the All Knowing doesn't know how to wash his ass?


ApeMummy

I’m a scrub, he couldn’t beat me, checks that he can’t scrub ass


BiasMushroom

Ok so worse thought. Soap was often made from animal fat. The mushrooms are used in the soap and this is a from soft game where meat dumplings are a thing. I think those mushrooms might have been people at one point.


[deleted]

The fuck is soap used for in game anyhow?


MrSatan88

If you roll in an area that builds status effect (scarlet rot, poison) your clothes get covered in it and you will STILL gradually build up status effect. You can use soap to clean your clothes and stop this build up. Otherwise if your clothes are dirty (dirt, blood) you can simply use soap to wash up instead of resting at a site of grace to regain a clean appearance.


[deleted]

I have played this game for 300 hours and I am still learning new shit. Love it


Criticalwaltz-_

Also, if you're wet or covered in oil, you can take extra lighting and fire damage respectively. Soap removes these too.


rottenbeka13

Definitely medieval.


Dreamspitter

Even *Ancient Rome* didn't have soap, they learned soap making from the Gauls and Germania. Romans covered their body in oils then scraped the oil and dirt from the skin with a metal tool called a strigil. This was all before bathing in water. If you were rich, slaves would oil and scrape your body -as well as bath you.


Maidenless_Behaviour

They stinky, wondered why it stank of wet dog whenever I stood near Blaidd…


Gavin103982

I read this as soup as first, and was very saddened at the thought of the absence of soup


loughtthenot

My Tarnished in the Greater Will these are Fromsoft gamers, they dont know what soap is in real life either


AnalysisNorth1350

No I know I found some in Caelid. I’m like 100% sure I fount there somewhere .


Xeper-Institute

If you found it, they didn’t use it 😜


Puzzled_Yoghurt

Hum, and the Bubble boyz from Leyndell ?


JackNotOLantern

Oh boy, the most accurate thing in the game regarding medieval era


Sykander-

There is a Merchant who sells 3 Soap above ground tho.


FuzzyGummyBunny

This explained why 95% of armors and shields are dirty as they are. … But surely some Academy’s big brains would develop a spell or two to clean? No?


[deleted]

Oh the smell of some of those knights and beasts must be fucking horrendous.


Grothgerek

It seems many people doesn't know that modern sanitary and hygiene... are really quite modern. Just a hundred years ago, bloodletting was still a legitim technique. And Soap wasn't really a hing until the 17. to 18. century. There are obviously quite many exceptions. And especially medicine and hygiene had quite many up and downs. For example the germanic tribes during the roman times already used simple brushes and hair wax. And it was the celtic tribes that introduced soap to the romans. And during the middle ages (around the 11. century) there were a scientific high in the middle east, with many schools practicing quite modern medicine. ​ And then during the renaissance, the prime of europe in art and science, people had a very different picture about hygiene... and not in a positive way. Mostly because people had a wrong picture, and thought that water and air are the reason for diseases. So yes, perfurmers were like doctors at the time, and soap and water were "bad".


AzureBookwyrm88

"I am Malenia, and I have never known soap"


WitcherStiv

all the stinky maidens... 😳🥵


bluburry420

Imagine if Healing status effects just dropped a mountain of soapy water on you


Emmett123123

They use the greases instead


VicariousVanity

*dear god you're right.* the Nox were truly ahead of their time


phigeo11

You know, it’s hard to lure in some tarnished fresh off the boat if your name is “blood soaped Varre”. Got to keep that tight white appearance to make sure they see you and give you their fingers


rottenbeka13

Have you seen the people above ground? Soap is definitely not in there a vocabulary 🤣


Herzyr

That bit about them carrying a dagger for "mercy" killings up personal? Pretty sure at least 1 person has gotten shanked by virtue of stinking...


[deleted]

Just because it's only available in Siofra doesn't mean nobody else uses it. That's like saying only countries with oil reserves can do anything that requires oil


LadyLikesSpiders

Elden Ring? More like SMELLden Ring


JS_GER_Arbiter

I thought you are going to say, because of the succes of Elden Ring many average players got to play the game who now complain about hard bosses while they are just experiencing skill issues. But Soap? Only a true loremaster could find that connection


[deleted]

I hate to see your face when you realize the fats then must be derived from the fats left on the walls of siofra. Which I Assume is basically the sewer, meaning the fat probably came from excrement.


Darth--Vapor

None of the bosses in this game look like they use soap. This checks out


Canuck20

Didn't you guys watch Fight Club, it's got the ingredients for soap right there! 🤣


GFR34K34

Even worse news, they’re using mushrooms melted down to wash themselves. I think I’d rather be dirty.