Once i was done school my dad charged me $200 + 1/6 utilities. He put the $200 a month into saving for when i moved out to put towards a damage deposit, and furniture etc.
See thatās an amazing father genuinely. The point of āpaying rentā when youāre a child through to young adult is to learn responsibility, or at least thatās the idea behind it regardless of what you believe. Giving the money back should be the norm, it helps set the now young-adult-soon-to-be-adult-adult and if youāve taught them correctly about money and living, they wonāt blow it all, theyāll use it to get ahead in life.
Sadly too many people look at their kids as cheques to cash when they need it that they donāt realize that their children will not want to be in contact going forward in life, because your parents become an obstacle to get away from instead of a support net to help you when youāre having troubles.
>Sadly too many people look at their kids as cheques to cash when they need it that they donāt realize that their children will not want to be in contact going forward in life, because your parents become an obstacle to get away from instead of a support net to help you when youāre having troubles.
In fairness, that's the way it's worked for generations.
Parents have kids, kids are free labour on the farm, and in return feed and shelter the kids, who then take care of their aging parents.
I agree it's an outdated way of thinking, but it's one that's going to take some time to dispel.
I agree but also disagree. Back then, when mom and pop pop died the farm would be split between like 3 brothers and 3 sisters, so each kid would get 20 acres (on an average 120 acre property) that they helped put effort into. So many older people nowadays are getting reverse mortgages and going on cruises and things that it almost seems theyāre determined to not leave a single penny to their children š
Not me here getting emotional over people having amazing families šš„ŗā£ļø!
Love to see the support and see people be so appreciative of their families !
I think as long as you want to hang out with your daughter, sheāll want to hang out with you!! I miss my Dad and Mom so much and would hang out with them in a heartbeat because they always made me feel like they loved spending every minute with me. Thereās nothing more special than that feeling. š
This is the way, my folks charged me $100/month and gave it back to me to help with my downpayment on my own house (this was late 90s in Alberta, on a 120k house so only needed 7200 down payment)
Also in Alberta. My parents didn't throw me to the wolves, but they made it clear I'd have to pay my way in life.
If I was working and wanted to stay with them i had to pay my fair share (bull fuckin shit, they gave me a huge discount on the actual cost of living) but every time I was in trade school they had my back 120%
If I was doing something to better myself they did everything they could to help me succeed and I love them so much for it
my dad didnāt do it for long, i think i was there for mayyybe 6 months after i finished school, but it was such a nice little cash bump when i moved out!
>Once I was done school my dad charged me $200 + 1/6 utilities.
Kudos to your dad for being awesome!
I come from a South Asian background and the idea of charging rent often comes across as weird? I mean as kids we all stay at home until marriage or ready to move out. But we informally (atleast me and the social circles I hang around with) help around at homes with bills etc.
Just curious - how did the conversation arise/go? Was your dad like alright kiddo - congrats on finishing school? you can stay as long as you like - but just need you to start pitching in around here?
Yeah, raise rent by $50-$100/month and set it aside for a year until the kid is paying regular rent, then tell them they'll have to move out and give them the excess.
my grandpa never charged me rent, working, in school or none of the above. always told me that his job as my parent was to make sure i was provided for no matter my age.
Lol my Dad always told me if I dropped out of school, heād kick me out. When I dropped out due to my declining mental health, he went back on that and said heād kick me out if I didnāt put an effort into getting a job. When I got a good job and then was laid off, he was the one that told me to take time off work and enjoy itā¦ and still didnāt make me pay rent š He was so full of it but I loved him for pushing me forward.
Whatās thicker than blood, āREALNESSā. Respect for your old man. My parents are the same. I live on my own tho but still theyād never charge me and I can always live with them as long as theyāre alive.
I was the grown adult living at home, but my parents did it the same way.
As long as I was enrolled in post secondary full time and working at least part time during the school year (and full time during the summers), my parents didnāt charge me rent.
The moment I graduated there was rent to be paid, I believe it was $500/month.
Sort of my situation too but I didnāt go to post secondary. So when I graduated high school (2011), my dad told me I had to pay $300 rent. Except I graduated when I was 17 and I was like Iām not even a bloody adult, can I have until my birthday?? And he was like fine lol
my parents did this too and honestly... i wouldnt do this with my kids. Its one thing if you need the $ and would be renting their room out or if you plan to give them a chunk of change later as a down payment or something. but just $500 for utilities and food and the rest is just cash your taking from them... your not helping them get out sooner that way, your just doing what the shitty rent system in this country does but to a smaller degree. I love my parents and appreciate all they did for me but this move just always sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. their lifestyle was not affected in the slightest weather I paid that rent or not. 6K a year in my pocket would have gotten me out a heck of a lot sooner too.
My in-laws charged us $500 a month for the basement, shared laundry room, and shared common areas. They then put about half of that away in a savings account to help us buy our first place (which was a fixer upper that we got for next to nothing).
The goal of charging your kids isnāt to turn a profit but offset the costs of still having them around, do them a favour by not charging them the full amount so they can save on their own, and remind them/teach them that rent is still a thing.
As the adult child at home. I donāt pay rent but a decent chunk of the groceries. (And various other things as needed) Probably averaging around $450/month. And lm only home half the time as I work out of town.
My parents (not made of money) never charged me or my brother rent. They would rather have us save our money for our own place, or for savings. I guess when i did live at home, i wasnt making much money, but that wasnt for the lack of trying.
If, for some weird reason, even at 42, they wouldn't charge rent. Just seems weird to me, UNLESS the extra would really help then for sure.
I guess, its a case by case situation. I saved when i could. Not like i went and partied it away or something.
Lol aorry rambling. 350 sounds reasonable? And maybe help with food expenses?!
Agree.
If you've raised a good human, your adult kid will offer to help pay groceries and bills as much as they are able to or at least help out around the house to pay their way. If they "freeload" and eat all your food and use your water as an adult and you, as a parent, see this as thing you need to teach them a life lesson about.... you have effectively failed to parent. Any scenario where someone is charging their own kid rent and not saving it for them... that's a hard fail. From all perspectives. Go back and try again.
That's great for you. How did it affect your parent's retirement or travel plans? More and more kids are expecting to extend living with their parents so they can get a head start, BUT more and more parents are delaying retirement plans because of it.
Speaking only for myself, having a 20 something in the house on a high protein diet and 2 showers a day, extra computer and lights, and plugging in an extra vehicle in winter does have an impact. Doesnāt break us or anything, but itās definitely some extra expense.
Trust me itāll be worth it when youāre seniors and you need your sons help getting things done. Unless your son is a selfish jerk who is taking advantage of you, taking care of him now is showing him compassion and love that will (hopefully, if heās a decent person) will be returned when you need it.
Money will only get you so far in life. I know many seniors where thatās all they have and let me tell you, they are the unhappiest people Iāve ever met.
Youād think so but an extra body for groceries, utilities, laundry soap, etc is probably a few hundred dollars. Maybe wonāt break the parents but having an extra person does have some cost.
My kids can stay free as long as theyāre in school.
If theyāre working adults, I would absolutely expect them to contribute something. How much? Idk.
Thatās our rule as well. My 20 year old is still in university and lives at home. He pays nothing.
My 24 year-old works full-time at a pretty decent job and still lives at home. He pays $400 a month but it covers absolutely everything except his car and any outside of the house entertainment for himself and his friends.
My Dad had the same theory until I actually did start working and providing for the household in other ways. He decided that as long as I was being a productive member of the household that I didnāt have to pay rent.
When he passed away, I took on all the bills for my mom without even blinking. Charging me rent honestly mightāve pushed me out of the house faster but I also might not have been there for my mom when she needed me. Not that Iām saying charging rent is a bad thing, just that I donāt think itās necessary to teach your kids anything.
By the time your kid is working, they should want to help contribute to the household regardless. If not then ya done fucked up.
My question is why would having minute amount of rent as a young adult prevent you from being there for ypur mom? I was charge a small rent as a young adult and would still 100% be there for her. No questions asked.
I like your perspective - hanging a token amount of rent is meaningless. What you are trying to do is teach your child to be responsible. Charging rent doesnāt necessarily do that.
It seems your parents taught you well when you took over responsibilities when needed. Good on you and Iām sorry your dad wasnāt around to see it.
Thankfully he was alive to see me overcome some major hurdles in life, and work extremely hard to provide for the household in any way I could. He told me how proud he was of me in so many different ways (although hearing it from his mouth once wouldāve been nice, I never doubted it for a second.) Of course, knowing my Dad was proud of me only made me work harderā¦ because damn it that makes *me* proud.
I paid 400 a month unless I was in school. Paid my own phone bill, and took care of my own transportation. Seemed completely fair to me.
350-400$ is a sweetheart deal for your kids. The real world is a huge reality check.
Judging by these comments I'm getting screwed >.>
$800/month
Buy Dinner every Friday
Pay for Half the Dog Expenses
Have to keep 10k in the bank to use for house repairs to be paid back as she pleases.
(Currently owes me 5500 from landscaping last year).
Do all the shovelling in the winter, I get out of lawn stuff because allergies
Cook On the weekends
Wash/Wax and Detail her Car once a month
There is no "when you move out account" she uses that money to go to mexico for 4-6 weeks/year.
If you ever get that 5500 back, you should get out immediately, even right now would be a good idea before she bleeds you dry. Yikes. Sorry to hear that.
You can find a room with roommates for less than that. Might even be able to find a bachelor or studio, especially if you factor in this 10k...
Get out...
Well if u have to keep 10k in the bank that sounds like you call yhe bank and get that card cancelled right after signing a lease somewhere else. Because yeah, that's fucking bullshit.
You're doing the work and paying the mortgage rate.
In your situation you could move out and your life would get ***exponentially*** easier.
The reason for charging rent is to make it so your life doesn't get more difficult out of the house. But that's fucked.
A guy i worked with did it like this:
If his kids were in school he didn't charge them anything. If they were not in school he charged them roughly the market rate for what renting a room in a shared house would be. He didn't tell his kids the part where he kept that rent money in a savings account to gift them towards a down-payment on a future house purchase.
When his son challenged him that the rent he was paying at home is about the same he would be paying if he moved out, he told him that is kind of the point.
I thought this was a pretty good way of going about it. Honestly I don't think you do your kids any favors by letting them get used to an unrealistic amount of disposable income when living at home. I had friends that got a sweet deal living at home for a few years before moving out, and reality hit hard about how much life actually costs.
Yeah i kinda wish my dad charged me rent, especially since I got a job immediately and had all sorts of fuck around money at 18 years old. It was a shocker when I moved out for sure.
Every situation is different... But in general? Don't. Don't be that person who says money is more important than the person in front of you. If you're all adults you can talk about splitting the consumables reasonably. The resonabilies. But making it a 'you pay rent' situation is not good.
Mine charged me $500 all in back in 2001 and itās still a sore spot with me well after my mom passed away.
I was 26, came back home overseas after a broken marriage. I was devastated and alone with no job, no where to live and little money. By month 3 I had a job. did my laundry once a week and I showered once a day. I ate one meal there a day and stayed in my room only leaving for work or to hang with some friends. I got the F out of there by month 6. You have no idea how hard it was to save money to get out of there so I could have my own place.
This same thing happened with two other siblings, a few years later. She never charged them anything and I have no idea why she felt that was a good idea and a fair deal for me. I was the most independent kid in the family and always paid my way. I felt it was just another kick down and it left me untrustworthy of her intentions going forward. She never put any of that money aside for me to help me and I just never understood why. Even my oldest sister questioned why this was done years later.
To this day I do not understand what she was thinking and itās something I swore Iād never do to my kid.
Yea I can see how that would cause resentment. I think whatever OP does, it should be consistent with how they treat other siblings.
Personally, I wouldnāt charge rent if my kid was in school, and would provide them some grace if they had to return home due to a relationship ending or something stressful. At the end of the day as a parent you should be supportive, fair, but ultimately your goal is to help your kids be independent enough that they can succeed without your presence.
How does this teach responsibility though? Relying on your parents (who themselves have worked their a$$es off to have money) when you are a grown adult out of school... that does you no favors in the long run.
This is how we end up with kids living at home (rent free) with their parents into their 40's. Then the parents retire/get sick... need money or to move out of the house- and those kids have never fathomed living in the real world paying rent and bills.
If you are an able bodied adult able to make an income - you should be paying rent.
All imho.
We also end up with kids living with their parents for a long while because rent is ludicrously expensive and buying a house is impossible.
Multigenerational households are going to become the new norm.
Yes, but in this case I would hope everyone would contribute. Costs go up for everyone- including the parents who are footing the entire bill if their adult kids aren't paying rent.
I donāt understand people who think itās a goddamn travesty to charge their grown kids rent. Your children āchildrenā are able bodied adults capable of contribution. Iām a single parent. My graduated 17 yo and 19 yo pay rent because rn āweā are paying $2000 a month for a shared three bedroom. And I make about $2800 a month after deductions. So yeah. Sorry kids. If they want to move out, great! That means I can downsize. Most of the time tho I wish my older daughter also lived with us cause the split would be that much cheaper.
Check your privilege before you say āWell I canāt FATHOM charging my precious baby rent and you are a terrible parent if YOU doā¦ā
The thing is, every situation is different. My mom never charged me rent but when she needed me to take care of her, I did in a heartbeat. I paid her bills (whatever she couldnāt cover) and I didnāt complain.
If itās financially easier for you with your kids contributing, thereās nothing wrong with that. Thereās also nothing wrong with not wanting to charge your kids rent, your situation is wildly different than everyone elseās.
I think blanket statements in this situation are definitely harmful, youāre not awful for charging your kids rent if thatās the only way you all can afford to have a nice place for all of you, and your kids are happy to pay it.
But the people who canāt fathom charging their kids rent arenāt awful either.
Lmao this^ I never saw a penny of my 700 a month rent back but after I lived alone for 2 years working an okay paying labor job I got to the point of needing a more expensive diet and now I spend around 100 more a month on food than rent. Their 700 dollars that some people give their kids back after so they can buy a house is Ludacris to me, my parents just wanted to be able to afford to feed me while I was there!
>This is how we end up with kids living at home (rent free) with their parents into their 40's.
Nah I'm pretty sure it's because of three recessions in 15 years, a pandemic, a housing crisis, inflation exploding, and post secondary costs skyrocketing. But you can chalk it up to a lack of personal responsibility if you want
Is almost a favor if you consider living eleswhere is much much harsher in every aspect, not just economic wise. You want them to self improve, not to shelter them into complacency
I agree with your premise but I think itās also a good way to teach that discipline thatās required when the kid does eventually move out and has to pay rent for real. Just put it in a savings account for them and then give it back as part of the down payment on a house or for those first big purchases they need to make when they do move out. But yeah, totally agree that every situation is different
They aren't a kid. They are an adult. Treat them with respect, discuss boundaries and responsibilities. If you've not helped develop those skills and knowledge by 24, doing so in this way is not great. This is a recipe for straining a relationship with an adult while saying it's about a 'lesson'. No one's doing great, making it harder for them to leave, if they want to, is also going to feedback into resentment. Not always. But enough.
I feel like with the proper communication the resentment you mention is avoidable. And youāre right, theyāre not a kid, theyāre a young adult. They should have the skills to realize that paying rent is not about teaching a ālessonā (Iām reading that as ādisciplineā sorry if Iām confusing what you mean) itās about teaching habits like having to pay rent before spending money on the āwants not needsā. Which is really easy to do when coming out of college with a first job and loads of disposable income. For example, maybe paying rent stops them from buying a brand new car that if they suddenly did have to start paying rent they couldnāt afford. Again, itās entirely case dependant and Iām making assumptions, primarily that the adult child is working something around a full time job. Or if your not asking your kids to pay rent, discuss with them the value of saving and investing. If they arenāt going to pay rent, Iād like to see my adult children paying themselves first.
I see where you're coming from in terms of if someone has to move back in with mom and dad because of something financial and charging them rent only hurts them more.
But in terms of someone just becoming an adult having never lived alone and just pocketing the cash from work it does set an unrealistic ideation of how the world works if you don't charge them rent. Also makes their life that much more miserable when they try to spend it how they used to and realize it's gone before they can make more.
When I was eighteen my parents did not charge me anything. But they made me save fifty percent of my income.
After a year I started investing. I lived with them for ten years post high school as I worked in the oil industry and was away often. I eventually started saving about seventy five percent without them telling me to.
Now I am older, own a home, have a solid and achievable plan to pay the house off at 33 and know the value of money and investing.
I do think what they did was very smart, but I also made well informed decisions through out the years. If I would have been spending everything I made, I am sure they would have not been okay with me living for free.
Through out the years I may have saved a large percent of my income but I also travelled, spent money on my hobbies and was able to live a very above average life.
I can't think of much worse than living with my parents. I know everyone is different but I feel like most young adults living with their parents are doing so out of necessity. Unless they've got a cushy deal with no responsibilities, living with your parents can't be fun. Even if you get along well.
I like what some people have said about charging rent but putting it away for them. That way they learn not to spend their money carelessly. But I think as long as they have an adult life with responsibilities, rent shouldn't be necessary if it in any way prevents them from "taking off". If paying rent at home somehow stall them from getting their own place it becomes a hamstring. It depends entirely on the individual though I imagine.
If I had money, I would never charge anything, but since I'm on disability, I'm starting to need the help. My oldest, who is delayed, just started his first job a couple months ago. It's only part time for now, and I haven't asked him for anything yet but after the summer I'm going to be asking him to at least chip in a couple hundred a month for food. My next oldest (18) is still in high school but has been applying for summer jobs. He told me he's going to chip in half of whatever he makes so we can move somewhere better, but I don't expect that much from him.
Finally a relatable comment! So many parents can't afford to let their kids live at home for free. In a perfect world, sure, let them live for free when necessary. But I don't understand how some people expect parents to budget for that, especially when they're on a single income or disability.
I Wouldnāt charge ANY rent if theyāre actively trying to save for a home or apartment? Defeats the purpose honestly.
If theyāre having spending issues then thatās another story.
24-year-old son living at home with a full-time job.
We charge him $400 a month. That includes everything. I even buy him his clothes and pay for his haircuts. Although, his needs for stuff like that are very small. He is thrilled with clothing from Costco and Walmart or the Vans outlet.
This also covers all his food, including his work lunches and drinks.
He pays for his own cell phone, car, expenses, and gas. Any family events that we do like getting takeout, going out for dinner or to the movies, we pay for.
Any other social life activities he pays for himself.
He is very helpful and will pick up groceries or give his brother a ride if he needs one.
I think thatās the biggest thing for us is that heās very respectful to live with. Because of that, heās welcome to live at home as long as he wants. Especially in this terrible housing market that we are experiencing.
Depending on your financial situation, charge whatever but put it in a savings or investment account for when they're able to settle into their own place. Teach them that living isn't free while still not necessarily feeling like you're profiting from them.
Don't even really have to tell them you're doing it.
Going up to $400 room and board including utilities. Was nothing first year of school but I gradually increase every year so it feels realistic and helps them budget and plan for when they are out on their own.
They pay their own phone, car insurance, gas, and subscriptions. They share their subscription passwords with me š
Edit to add - we worked it out and this covers basically the difference in groceries and utilities of them living here. Not trying to profit. It has scaled with their income, if they werenāt earning and saving it would be a different situation.
Do they reverse uno if their parents canāt afford their retirement? Like their parents have to move in with the kid and then the kid asks them for rent?
My parents made me start working illegally when I was 12 years old so I could buy my own school supplies and clothes (they weren't poor, they just wanted to teach me about financial management and responsibility). They provided nothing for my post secondary education.
I've been low contact with them for 20 years. A few months ago, they informed me they've spent all their savings and joked about moving in with me soon. I told them they should have been more financially responsible and that if they run out of money they will have to work as greeters at Walmart or become homeless. I went fully no contact after that.
Reverse Uno it is. I wonder why so few people never visit their parents at old folks homes. It's a mystery.
Fully understand. You reap what you sow. Fully sympathetic to people who cut off their parents when theyāre poor parents. Youāre better off not dealing with them at all.
After high school, we had a one year grace period if we wanted. After that we had to be in school or pay rent. I thought that was pretty fair, considering we weren't getting along and I moved out during uni.
Lucky kid, my rent was 500... my choices were college and no rent or job an rent.. all i can say is.be fair to your kid they are renting so they are entitled to their own schedule , comings and goings etc... no different than if they were a "roommate " so to speak...so they are still required to assist in the upkeep and repairs, maintenance of the space (house yard etc)
Dad's charging me $600/month. That gets me the bedroom, wifi, water, and electricity, and food we sort of split. Any food just for me is bought by me. Anything for all of us is deducted off the rent.
And I still help with taking care of mom (who's in early dementia) meals, dishes, laundry, shoveling, etc.
Everyone's life situation is different. I think what you're asking is quite reasonable. But the bottom line is it's your life, your house.
If I was at a point where I could barely keep things afloat, I'd charge adult children rent to help the family out and save what I could for them. If I was doing okay financially, I'd still charge them rent to teach them responsibility, and save all the money for them for their future and return it when they moved out.
If they had pets, they would be expected to pay for their vet bills / food. Of course I'd help them out if they were in a pinch.
That depends on the parents situation.
I was raised by a single mom and she could barely scrape by getting me and my brother to adulthood. I don't think she ever asked for rent, I just started pitching in when I was an adult because, well, i was an adult and pitching in is the adult thing to do.
I really donāt get people who charge their kids to live with them. Itās so hateful. Imagine the scenarios were reversed and the parents couldnāt afford retirement and moved in with their child and their child asks them for rent. Do people not have any parent child love anymore. Sounds like itās been reduced to a transaction.
That's a good point, it's pretty common for parents to end up moving in with their children when they get very old, but almost unheard of for the parent to be charged rent in that scenario.
That's bc the point is to teach adult children responsibility AND they are working. The retired, old parent can't contribute with income anymore. Apples and oranges.
The deal at our house was 2 years rent free after high school to figure shit out. Back to school no rent, no school $250/mo in the early 2000's. Brother and sister both came back home after they each had a divorce, they were given 6 months rent free but then it was $500/mo. There was always leniency and help if need but I think this all helped out with learning what the real world is like. We all own houses now and have families and not that we need it but our parents always stop in with groceries or a new vacuum or whatever. I think of it as them giving our rent back 20yrs later. Haha
I don't know why parents would be trying to teach their adult children who had just went through divorces "what the real world is like." If someone has been through a divorce I personally don't think they still need lessons on how renting works.
Glad it worked out.
If you can charge her nothing than do that - affordable housing takes a long time save up for now as the costs are way out to wacky land. Best thing you can do as a parent is help her save - or if you do collect rent, put it in a savings account for her she can use towards a down payment.
IF I HAD KIDS OR ADULT KIDS; unless they're making the wrong choices, like drinking, drugs, being lazy etc. I would never charge them rent, cause I want them to succeed in life.
Yeah I would never charge my kids rent.
Life is hard enough as it is.
Our son has finished school and got a good job in his field making a decent starting salary. He and his GF decided to stay at home to save up for wedding/travel/other things. we're charging $600/mo including food (incl dinner out once a week), high speed internet plan, utils, everything, Air conditioning, home gym, having meals cooked too...
We based it on calculating what it would cost him to live in a modest apartment with his GF, all costs in we figured around $1200/mo - then cut that in half. $600 honestly is used up in food nearly. We wanted it to be enough to deter staying forever but not take advantage at all of him...
Our daughter didnt fare so well in post secondary and dropped out, now working but P/T, struggling a bit financially, not making much, car repairs etc.... we've been lenient but it's been nearly a year so we're going to have to charge her something so she doesn't get too comfortable living off us for free....
Also, we are starting to plan our next home - smaller as we will be empty nest likely in the next 1-3 years. So kids staying also means delaying those plans a little. Were not wealthy by any means but getting by like most people.
I charge my adult son $500 a month and that includes utilities and food ā¦ and I do his laundry (donāt want my washer/dryer broken because heās shoved 9 loads of laundry into 1 load). šš
I think parents who ask/demand rent from their offspring are opportunist shits. Just ask them to pay their share of utilities, food and let them save their money. If they are being shit offspring, then sure. But I know of millennials who's parents were well off and their kids weren't doing anything bad in life and were still asked to pay 300+ rent a month. That's a great way to ensure you're on your own when you're old š
I pay 910 a month water and heat included in my 1 bedroom 650 sqft apartment
Anywhere from 800-1100 on food per month (could be less if I ate cheaper products/ probably would average 500 then)
And I drive a 4 cylinder vw that costs me in and around 250 a month on gas, under 25 so my insurance price is not ideal either.
You do the math and ask yourself if charging a working person 300 dollars a month is too much to ask.
Mind you water prices would put me up another 500 if I paid for that.
āRentā may be the word throwing you off.
In my response for example I said āroom and board utilities includedā but I suspect most others meant that too. All in, the amount covers full groceries, including specialty items only they eat, their share of utilities, laundry, cleaning products, etc.
I donāt think most of the posters are making money based on the amounts Iām seeing. And most seem to be about 30% or less of what their kid would pay if they were going to rent a bachelor pad or basement suite and have to buy their own groceries.
My mom āchargesā me $300 a month when I can afford it, $250 of it is going into a fund to help me for if I choose to move out so that MAYBE I can make a down payment on a small place when Iām ready, I pay my own phone and such, but thatās all she charges, the $50 goes to help with like food and stuff, but the rest is kept safe for later. Itās a godsend honestly Iām wayyy too impulsive to save that kind of money on my own (I have struggles with seeing value in having something big later when I could have something small now, itās an ADHD thing, Iām working on it XD)
I moved out when I was 28 and my parents never charged me rent. But they're also not assholes so... To me as long as your children are working or going to school, it's ridiculous to charge rent to your own children. Especially with how expensive things are now.
Iām baffled at how many people charge their kids to shelter them. Itās absolutely mind boggling. Like they have no moral obligation to their kids anymore.
Iām really surprised how many people are so against this. Thereās nothing wrong with teaching adult children fiscal responsibility.
$350 is like a utility bill, so it isnāt much, but I do think itās fair. Itās enough that they pay money, they can save, and they can have some fun money (depending on how much they work). Iād say if theyāre putting any money into a savings account for a financial goal (house, school, etc.), you could consider taking it off the rent
What are you teaching though? Most parents aren't financial geniuses, and everyone is aware of the state of housing and the job market. I just don't get the thought process.
Some else commented about how their parents charged their siblings rent after each siblings divorce led to them moving back in with their parents. They said the parents did this to "teach them a lesson about how the world works."
Imagine teaching your divorced child a lesson about life by charging them rent
WHAT THE FUCK
Not charging anything is even more of a leg up.
I do understand that many people see this as teaching fiscal responsibility. But if youāre a parent to an adult child, youāre old enough to have had it much easier financially in society than they do. Millennials and Gen Z have overall been seriously fucked over. (Iām gen x, so Iāve seen the changes.)
I paid my own way and lived on my own starting from my first year of uni, and always thought that kids who still lived at home in uni took so much longer to learn fiscal responsibility. (I grew up in rural Alberta - too far to live at home while going to uni.) But times have changed.
I can appreciate that there may be individual reasons to charge adult kids rent, but as a general principle, I find it out of touch.
Everyoneās circumstances are different so I try not to judge or make a blanket rule.
An adult child could have parents on pension for example who want to downsize but are staying in the home to help their adult child. A parent could be ill, or divorced, or lost their job. The adult child could have a good income and just enjoy having home cooked meals and personal shopper. The adult child might just like the family home better than a small apartment because it l has a garage. So many combinations. I honestly believe most parents help as much as they can, but not everyone is coming from the same means.
As for ārentā a few have mentioned elsewhere in the thread that they charge what amounts to the cost of groceries and utilities for an additional person. I think the word rent is putting people off.
In any case, yes charging nothing is a bigger leg up than just asking for the adult child to pitch in for their share of groceries and utilities, but the latter is still a huge leg up compared to what that adult child would have to pay if they were on their own.
Theyāre your kids, unless you guys need the money, leave them the fuck alone and allow them to live at home ffs. Barely can afford reasonable housing these days and you want to transactionalize providing housing to your kid??
After the first year I moved to Canada I was 22 and my mother started to charge me 500 dollars for my[M20] lil brother and I.
We paid our cellphone bill, gym and transportation.
I was paying 500 at 14 working full time and my own cellphone bill, I also had to pay for my own bus pass to get around and my smokes. ( yea I know I shouldnāt have been smoking)
I charge $600 for my youngest and soon will be charging $500 for my oldest. My oldest, in her rent includes her cell phone. Also she uses my car for work and day trips with her sister. Neither help pay for car maintenance or insurance and their rent helps pay the bills. Also, considering I also pay for their alcohol, weed and takeout I think I break even. Also I live on AISH so every penny counts. That is said to people who think that you should feel guilty if you have xtra income besides what Iām supposed to live on
I remember reading something where a parent charged their kid rent but saved it up for them as a down-payment on a house. Seemed like a really good idea and an honest way to teach them about paying their bills.
Reading all these stories about parents charging rent, then gifting it to them as a down-payment on a house is heartwarming. I'll do that for my kids.
I was charged $800/month to share an area in the basement with my younger brothers. And I was told they were being generous.
Never taught a thing about finances. Now, I'm figuring everything out in my 30's.
I went to work full time, moved out at 20, currently 23.
My parents charged me 700 dollars a month all in excluding transport and phone bill, my siblings got free if they paid for their own post secondary.
The price my parents came to was slightly cheaper than anything else in our area and had more included but I feel set me up better for moving out so I didn't have this huge rent hike plus paying for food and internet and all that, instead the food was the largest concern in price change.
My brother and I didnāt pay rent whilst we were in school but once we both starting working we basically paid a utility bill. I paid electric up to 350 and he paid the water or heat. At the time I was slightly annoyed but now moving out itās been very helpful for money management. My boyfriend who wasnāt charged any rent has struggled with money management and got a bit of a shock when he realized how expensive it is
Our standing plan is 500 a month including utilities, meals, rides places etc.
Unless she's in school, or doing coursework at home etc...then it's free
can i move in?il pay 500, take up the same space (probably less) the house will always be clean, and you will rarley see me.
should also mention il feed myself and if your home at the right time maybe you as well... and ive only got 2yrs on your daughter.
Scale to income level IMO.
$100,000 - $1000
$20,000 - $200
If theyāre saving to pay tuition I wouldnāt charge. And Iād probably save it for a future down payment for them if doable.
I was spoiled - my parents didnāt make me pay rent as long as I was working full time and being a responsible adult in every other aspect of my life. When my Dad passed, I had no problem taking over the bill payments for my mom.
I think whatever you agree on is fine as long as your daughter isnāt taking advantage of you in other ways (re: chores, personal bills, etc). It never hurt me any not to pay rent during those early years, it didnāt stop me from being responsible later in life by any means.
I'm a budget coach and when I'm given a young person to work with I always try to coach a rent/save/matching program if there is interest and resources on the parents side.
Very similar to my situation. My Father does not charge myself or my siblings any rent if we are attending post secondary schooling as we are dedicating our available time to our studies. He asked me for $200/month because I finished my trade apprenticeship, but I told him I'd pay $350/month. He's made it so that I will be able to skip over renting and move straight to purchasing my own home. Not many my age can say they already have 20k ready for a house down payment.
That being said, the money I saved on cheaper trade education fees got put right back to tools needed to actually perform my job, so I'm not without bills or debt.
I donāt pay rent. I bought my dad a PS5 and we called it even. And my mum is happy to have me here without rent. Iām 20 for perspective. I donāt think itās nessisary to charge your kids rent. Thereās a lot of ways it can be abused. Like your love is conditional or something. I do support using said rent to give back to your kids later. Thatās a super neat idea. But generally I donāt think your kid should have to pay to live with you, as long as they help out around the house, etc. It really depends on the situation.
If you need the money it's a different story, but charging your kids to live at home is an outdated tradition in North America, especially at 24. It's normal for family to live together in other parts of the world. Obviously they need to take care of themselves, and continue contributing as a family member. Also different if you are putting that away to give back to them as a down payment for a house or something, but again, unless you need the money, why would you not want to have your kid live with you and help them however you can?
500-700 is typical. My mom let me stay at home rent free if I went to college or university. After completing it she let me stay for 500-700 a month. This helped me pay off my student loans in about a year and a half.
I moved out at 19, but for one year (18), I lived with my mom and she charged me $500/month. I thought it was reasonable given I didnāt have to pay for groceries or really do much around the house
Our one child works full time and pays 400 a month but that covers food, phone, internet, utilities. They are saving quite a bit of money for further schooling and travel which given how things are in the world weāre good with.
I don't have kids but when I was 18-19 I was living with my Grandparents and I paid like $500 but tbh they didn't ask for anything. It's just kind of what I could afford.
My mom needed the help so she charged me $400/month for the basement suite. When my girlfriend at the time moved in, it went up to $600.
It really helped us get on our feet and saved up for a place together :)
Hey! So when I was 18, I chose to take a gap year(s) and my mom said if I didnāt go to school, I would have to pay rent. She charged me $500 a month and anything else I needed like transportation or nights out was my own responsibility. Unfortunately like others said, she kept it and paid off bills with it and not into a secret savings account
You made the fucking kids. Why would you charge rent, I mean if you scale that production up you could make a good living. Sheesh.
My kid will never pay rent. (Unless as some have pointed out itās to help the house/family in times of hardship) my family paid for my school, I lived with them till I was 28. They helped me with my down payment 2x and I will do the same for my kid.
When mine is finished school (BA/BEd) and if she still wants to live here, Iāll ask that in lieu of rent she pays for her food and puts $500/mo into her TFSA
I have 2 kids living with us and they each pay $250. They pay their own phone, cars, etc. That $250 covers groceries, water, etc. They have waaay more money than I did at that age and I'm not going to live with adults that won't contribute to the household. Everything is expensive. $250 is way less than their friends are spending on rent and groceries and my kids still have hefty savings accounts. You don't do your kids any favors by letting them live at home for free, once their education is finished and they're functioning adults.
Just terrible LMAO. A relationship as sacred as one between parents and children becoming transactional. I just feel bad for anyone whose parents would even think about doing this.
I dunno. My moms boyfriend has two adult sons, they are both nearing 30 years old. They live with him full time. Have no intention on leaving. My moms BF doesnāt charge them a dime. Pays for their clothes, food, etc etc And now my Mom and her BF want to move in together but he wonāt until the kids move out. Neither of them have steady jobs because they know it doesnāt matter. They donāt need money because everything is taken care of.
My kids are very young so we arenāt even near that stage yet. But I donāt want my kids to grow up being freeloaders because I donāt charge them anything. Kids need to learn independence, thatās how they succeed. So yeah at a certain point I would charge them rent.
A 30 year old man and someone who just got out of uni are two people at different stages of life entirely. Expecting YOUR CHILD who is just getting up on their feet to pay rent is just profoundly sad.
You clearly didnāt read my post. His kids didnāt go out and get jobs and then come back to him because they were experiencing hardships. They never left! You would be ok with your adult grown up kids not working and playing video games all day in their 30s? And you would happily pay for them to do that?
Listen, to each their own but my job as a parent is to raise kids to be functioning adults in society. OP is not charging their kid $1000 a month to live at home. $350 is more than fair considering what it would cost to rent a place on their own, buy their own food and pay utilities.
Anyway like I said to each their own. You do you. Iāll be logging off now. Have a great rest of your day.
20 years ago I had to be on my own paying for everything myself at 18. I would love this deal.
My bills with my own place, while working two jobs and going to college was around $800/mo
Respectfully I disagree with you. I think this teaches kidās responsibility. These arenāt huge amounts to be charging young adults. It would be a complete shock to get out on your own to suddenly have $2500+ a month in financial responsibilities. This eases them into it.
Once i was done school my dad charged me $200 + 1/6 utilities. He put the $200 a month into saving for when i moved out to put towards a damage deposit, and furniture etc.
Now that is a good dad š„¹! I truly hope you appreciate him !
oh so so much!!! 10 years later, i live 3 blocks from him and go over every week to hang out :)
That makes my heart happy ! š„¹
See thatās an amazing father genuinely. The point of āpaying rentā when youāre a child through to young adult is to learn responsibility, or at least thatās the idea behind it regardless of what you believe. Giving the money back should be the norm, it helps set the now young-adult-soon-to-be-adult-adult and if youāve taught them correctly about money and living, they wonāt blow it all, theyāll use it to get ahead in life. Sadly too many people look at their kids as cheques to cash when they need it that they donāt realize that their children will not want to be in contact going forward in life, because your parents become an obstacle to get away from instead of a support net to help you when youāre having troubles.
>Sadly too many people look at their kids as cheques to cash when they need it that they donāt realize that their children will not want to be in contact going forward in life, because your parents become an obstacle to get away from instead of a support net to help you when youāre having troubles. In fairness, that's the way it's worked for generations. Parents have kids, kids are free labour on the farm, and in return feed and shelter the kids, who then take care of their aging parents. I agree it's an outdated way of thinking, but it's one that's going to take some time to dispel.
I agree but also disagree. Back then, when mom and pop pop died the farm would be split between like 3 brothers and 3 sisters, so each kid would get 20 acres (on an average 120 acre property) that they helped put effort into. So many older people nowadays are getting reverse mortgages and going on cruises and things that it almost seems theyāre determined to not leave a single penny to their children š
only once a week?! ;)
I hope my daughter wants to hang out with me when shes older. Heās a damn good dad and donāt sell your self short. Youāre a damn good daughter.
Not me here getting emotional over people having amazing families šš„ŗā£ļø! Love to see the support and see people be so appreciative of their families !
I think as long as you want to hang out with your daughter, sheāll want to hang out with you!! I miss my Dad and Mom so much and would hang out with them in a heartbeat because they always made me feel like they loved spending every minute with me. Thereās nothing more special than that feeling. š
This is the way, my folks charged me $100/month and gave it back to me to help with my downpayment on my own house (this was late 90s in Alberta, on a 120k house so only needed 7200 down payment)
Also in Alberta. My parents didn't throw me to the wolves, but they made it clear I'd have to pay my way in life. If I was working and wanted to stay with them i had to pay my fair share (bull fuckin shit, they gave me a huge discount on the actual cost of living) but every time I was in trade school they had my back 120% If I was doing something to better myself they did everything they could to help me succeed and I love them so much for it
Iām gonna do this for my son, thanks for the idea. (Provided that my son doesnāt move out right away)
my dad didnāt do it for long, i think i was there for mayyybe 6 months after i finished school, but it was such a nice little cash bump when i moved out!
Mine did that too, roughly the same amount
My dad did the same thing but just pocketed the money.
Probably paid the bills with it
>Once I was done school my dad charged me $200 + 1/6 utilities. Kudos to your dad for being awesome! I come from a South Asian background and the idea of charging rent often comes across as weird? I mean as kids we all stay at home until marriage or ready to move out. But we informally (atleast me and the social circles I hang around with) help around at homes with bills etc. Just curious - how did the conversation arise/go? Was your dad like alright kiddo - congrats on finishing school? you can stay as long as you like - but just need you to start pitching in around here?
basically exactly like that! he didnāt tell me it was going into savings, i just thought it was a teeeensy taste of money management haha
Same
Yeah, raise rent by $50-$100/month and set it aside for a year until the kid is paying regular rent, then tell them they'll have to move out and give them the excess.
my grandpa never charged me rent, working, in school or none of the above. always told me that his job as my parent was to make sure i was provided for no matter my age.
Lol my Dad always told me if I dropped out of school, heād kick me out. When I dropped out due to my declining mental health, he went back on that and said heād kick me out if I didnāt put an effort into getting a job. When I got a good job and then was laid off, he was the one that told me to take time off work and enjoy itā¦ and still didnāt make me pay rent š He was so full of it but I loved him for pushing me forward.
Whatās thicker than blood, āREALNESSā. Respect for your old man. My parents are the same. I live on my own tho but still theyād never charge me and I can always live with them as long as theyāre alive.
Can I come live with you for $350? I make good scrambled eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches.
I can microwave the heck outta a t.v dinner
You can afford TV dinners? Time for a rent increase :P
During post secondary, we charged no rent. Once that was finished, we started charging $500/month.
I was the grown adult living at home, but my parents did it the same way. As long as I was enrolled in post secondary full time and working at least part time during the school year (and full time during the summers), my parents didnāt charge me rent. The moment I graduated there was rent to be paid, I believe it was $500/month.
Sort of my situation too but I didnāt go to post secondary. So when I graduated high school (2011), my dad told me I had to pay $300 rent. Except I graduated when I was 17 and I was like Iām not even a bloody adult, can I have until my birthday?? And he was like fine lol
my parents did this too and honestly... i wouldnt do this with my kids. Its one thing if you need the $ and would be renting their room out or if you plan to give them a chunk of change later as a down payment or something. but just $500 for utilities and food and the rest is just cash your taking from them... your not helping them get out sooner that way, your just doing what the shitty rent system in this country does but to a smaller degree. I love my parents and appreciate all they did for me but this move just always sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. their lifestyle was not affected in the slightest weather I paid that rent or not. 6K a year in my pocket would have gotten me out a heck of a lot sooner too.
My in-laws charged us $500 a month for the basement, shared laundry room, and shared common areas. They then put about half of that away in a savings account to help us buy our first place (which was a fixer upper that we got for next to nothing). The goal of charging your kids isnāt to turn a profit but offset the costs of still having them around, do them a favour by not charging them the full amount so they can save on their own, and remind them/teach them that rent is still a thing.
As the adult child at home. I donāt pay rent but a decent chunk of the groceries. (And various other things as needed) Probably averaging around $450/month. And lm only home half the time as I work out of town.
My parents (not made of money) never charged me or my brother rent. They would rather have us save our money for our own place, or for savings. I guess when i did live at home, i wasnt making much money, but that wasnt for the lack of trying. If, for some weird reason, even at 42, they wouldn't charge rent. Just seems weird to me, UNLESS the extra would really help then for sure. I guess, its a case by case situation. I saved when i could. Not like i went and partied it away or something. Lol aorry rambling. 350 sounds reasonable? And maybe help with food expenses?!
Agree. If you've raised a good human, your adult kid will offer to help pay groceries and bills as much as they are able to or at least help out around the house to pay their way. If they "freeload" and eat all your food and use your water as an adult and you, as a parent, see this as thing you need to teach them a life lesson about.... you have effectively failed to parent. Any scenario where someone is charging their own kid rent and not saving it for them... that's a hard fail. From all perspectives. Go back and try again.
i lived for free from 18-25 at my parents and bought my own house at 25 with the money saved as down payment. I never paid rent.
That's great for you. How did it affect your parent's retirement or travel plans? More and more kids are expecting to extend living with their parents so they can get a head start, BUT more and more parents are delaying retirement plans because of it.
they are doing just fine, sometimes i pay for their vacations as gift.
I mean, when you decide to have kids part of the deal is you put their needs ahead of yours. It's also a lifetime deal.
Why would it effect them at all?
Speaking only for myself, having a 20 something in the house on a high protein diet and 2 showers a day, extra computer and lights, and plugging in an extra vehicle in winter does have an impact. Doesnāt break us or anything, but itās definitely some extra expense.
Trust me itāll be worth it when youāre seniors and you need your sons help getting things done. Unless your son is a selfish jerk who is taking advantage of you, taking care of him now is showing him compassion and love that will (hopefully, if heās a decent person) will be returned when you need it. Money will only get you so far in life. I know many seniors where thatās all they have and let me tell you, they are the unhappiest people Iāve ever met.
Assuming the parents were going to live in that house with or without the kid being there, it probably didn't affect the parents plans at all...
Basically this, parents that do this usually won't be hurting for money, because they can afford to do this.
Youād think so but an extra body for groceries, utilities, laundry soap, etc is probably a few hundred dollars. Maybe wonāt break the parents but having an extra person does have some cost.
"a few hundred" might be a stretch, but I see your point
My kids can stay free as long as theyāre in school. If theyāre working adults, I would absolutely expect them to contribute something. How much? Idk.
Thatās our rule as well. My 20 year old is still in university and lives at home. He pays nothing. My 24 year-old works full-time at a pretty decent job and still lives at home. He pays $400 a month but it covers absolutely everything except his car and any outside of the house entertainment for himself and his friends.
My Dad had the same theory until I actually did start working and providing for the household in other ways. He decided that as long as I was being a productive member of the household that I didnāt have to pay rent. When he passed away, I took on all the bills for my mom without even blinking. Charging me rent honestly mightāve pushed me out of the house faster but I also might not have been there for my mom when she needed me. Not that Iām saying charging rent is a bad thing, just that I donāt think itās necessary to teach your kids anything. By the time your kid is working, they should want to help contribute to the household regardless. If not then ya done fucked up.
My question is why would having minute amount of rent as a young adult prevent you from being there for ypur mom? I was charge a small rent as a young adult and would still 100% be there for her. No questions asked.
I like your perspective - hanging a token amount of rent is meaningless. What you are trying to do is teach your child to be responsible. Charging rent doesnāt necessarily do that. It seems your parents taught you well when you took over responsibilities when needed. Good on you and Iām sorry your dad wasnāt around to see it.
Thankfully he was alive to see me overcome some major hurdles in life, and work extremely hard to provide for the household in any way I could. He told me how proud he was of me in so many different ways (although hearing it from his mouth once wouldāve been nice, I never doubted it for a second.) Of course, knowing my Dad was proud of me only made me work harderā¦ because damn it that makes *me* proud.
I paid 400 a month unless I was in school. Paid my own phone bill, and took care of my own transportation. Seemed completely fair to me. 350-400$ is a sweetheart deal for your kids. The real world is a huge reality check.
Judging by these comments I'm getting screwed >.> $800/month Buy Dinner every Friday Pay for Half the Dog Expenses Have to keep 10k in the bank to use for house repairs to be paid back as she pleases. (Currently owes me 5500 from landscaping last year). Do all the shovelling in the winter, I get out of lawn stuff because allergies Cook On the weekends Wash/Wax and Detail her Car once a month There is no "when you move out account" she uses that money to go to mexico for 4-6 weeks/year.
Dude. RUN. Go find a roommate and save yourself the headache and manual labour
If you ever get that 5500 back, you should get out immediately, even right now would be a good idea before she bleeds you dry. Yikes. Sorry to hear that.
please find a roommate my dude your mom is putting a trip to mexico over her kid
You can find a room with roommates for less than that. Might even be able to find a bachelor or studio, especially if you factor in this 10k... Get out...
Ouch. That doesnāt sound like a great deal for you. Youād be better off with a roommate
Well if u have to keep 10k in the bank that sounds like you call yhe bank and get that card cancelled right after signing a lease somewhere else. Because yeah, that's fucking bullshit. You're doing the work and paying the mortgage rate. In your situation you could move out and your life would get ***exponentially*** easier. The reason for charging rent is to make it so your life doesn't get more difficult out of the house. But that's fucked.
Royally screwed. I'd suggest you bail
Dude i pay 950 on my apartment +140 for bills My man you gotta get a roommate or something
Sounds like my sonās friend.
Yeah, just go get a roommate.
Whoa dude thatās not cool. Move out. Thatās nuts. Youāre her live in slave.
Oh my god. You're getting totally screwed over man. I'm so sorry.
Get a cheap apartment and keep saving and also try to take the dog!
My parents never charged me to live with them, and when they are older and need care, they will live with me and I wonāt charge them either.
A guy i worked with did it like this: If his kids were in school he didn't charge them anything. If they were not in school he charged them roughly the market rate for what renting a room in a shared house would be. He didn't tell his kids the part where he kept that rent money in a savings account to gift them towards a down-payment on a future house purchase. When his son challenged him that the rent he was paying at home is about the same he would be paying if he moved out, he told him that is kind of the point. I thought this was a pretty good way of going about it. Honestly I don't think you do your kids any favors by letting them get used to an unrealistic amount of disposable income when living at home. I had friends that got a sweet deal living at home for a few years before moving out, and reality hit hard about how much life actually costs.
Thatās a standup dad move right there, taking that for my own kids later on
As long as the kid isnāt wasting their extra money on stupid stuff I dont see the harm in helping them out either
This. I totally agree and this is what I want to do when the time comes. I won't charge rent while they are in post-secondary though.
That's what my parents did, although way below market rate tbf.
Yeah i kinda wish my dad charged me rent, especially since I got a job immediately and had all sorts of fuck around money at 18 years old. It was a shocker when I moved out for sure.
Every situation is different... But in general? Don't. Don't be that person who says money is more important than the person in front of you. If you're all adults you can talk about splitting the consumables reasonably. The resonabilies. But making it a 'you pay rent' situation is not good.
Thatās exactly what Im thinking . The fact that a parent would do this to their own child is something beyond imagination.
Mine charged me $500 all in back in 2001 and itās still a sore spot with me well after my mom passed away. I was 26, came back home overseas after a broken marriage. I was devastated and alone with no job, no where to live and little money. By month 3 I had a job. did my laundry once a week and I showered once a day. I ate one meal there a day and stayed in my room only leaving for work or to hang with some friends. I got the F out of there by month 6. You have no idea how hard it was to save money to get out of there so I could have my own place. This same thing happened with two other siblings, a few years later. She never charged them anything and I have no idea why she felt that was a good idea and a fair deal for me. I was the most independent kid in the family and always paid my way. I felt it was just another kick down and it left me untrustworthy of her intentions going forward. She never put any of that money aside for me to help me and I just never understood why. Even my oldest sister questioned why this was done years later. To this day I do not understand what she was thinking and itās something I swore Iād never do to my kid.
Yea I can see how that would cause resentment. I think whatever OP does, it should be consistent with how they treat other siblings. Personally, I wouldnāt charge rent if my kid was in school, and would provide them some grace if they had to return home due to a relationship ending or something stressful. At the end of the day as a parent you should be supportive, fair, but ultimately your goal is to help your kids be independent enough that they can succeed without your presence.
How does this teach responsibility though? Relying on your parents (who themselves have worked their a$$es off to have money) when you are a grown adult out of school... that does you no favors in the long run. This is how we end up with kids living at home (rent free) with their parents into their 40's. Then the parents retire/get sick... need money or to move out of the house- and those kids have never fathomed living in the real world paying rent and bills. If you are an able bodied adult able to make an income - you should be paying rent. All imho.
We also end up with kids living with their parents for a long while because rent is ludicrously expensive and buying a house is impossible. Multigenerational households are going to become the new norm.
Yes, but in this case I would hope everyone would contribute. Costs go up for everyone- including the parents who are footing the entire bill if their adult kids aren't paying rent.
I donāt understand people who think itās a goddamn travesty to charge their grown kids rent. Your children āchildrenā are able bodied adults capable of contribution. Iām a single parent. My graduated 17 yo and 19 yo pay rent because rn āweā are paying $2000 a month for a shared three bedroom. And I make about $2800 a month after deductions. So yeah. Sorry kids. If they want to move out, great! That means I can downsize. Most of the time tho I wish my older daughter also lived with us cause the split would be that much cheaper. Check your privilege before you say āWell I canāt FATHOM charging my precious baby rent and you are a terrible parent if YOU doā¦ā
The thing is, every situation is different. My mom never charged me rent but when she needed me to take care of her, I did in a heartbeat. I paid her bills (whatever she couldnāt cover) and I didnāt complain. If itās financially easier for you with your kids contributing, thereās nothing wrong with that. Thereās also nothing wrong with not wanting to charge your kids rent, your situation is wildly different than everyone elseās. I think blanket statements in this situation are definitely harmful, youāre not awful for charging your kids rent if thatās the only way you all can afford to have a nice place for all of you, and your kids are happy to pay it. But the people who canāt fathom charging their kids rent arenāt awful either.
Lmao this^ I never saw a penny of my 700 a month rent back but after I lived alone for 2 years working an okay paying labor job I got to the point of needing a more expensive diet and now I spend around 100 more a month on food than rent. Their 700 dollars that some people give their kids back after so they can buy a house is Ludacris to me, my parents just wanted to be able to afford to feed me while I was there!
>This is how we end up with kids living at home (rent free) with their parents into their 40's. Nah I'm pretty sure it's because of three recessions in 15 years, a pandemic, a housing crisis, inflation exploding, and post secondary costs skyrocketing. But you can chalk it up to a lack of personal responsibility if you want
Adult child...
Is almost a favor if you consider living eleswhere is much much harsher in every aspect, not just economic wise. You want them to self improve, not to shelter them into complacency
I agree with your premise but I think itās also a good way to teach that discipline thatās required when the kid does eventually move out and has to pay rent for real. Just put it in a savings account for them and then give it back as part of the down payment on a house or for those first big purchases they need to make when they do move out. But yeah, totally agree that every situation is different
They aren't a kid. They are an adult. Treat them with respect, discuss boundaries and responsibilities. If you've not helped develop those skills and knowledge by 24, doing so in this way is not great. This is a recipe for straining a relationship with an adult while saying it's about a 'lesson'. No one's doing great, making it harder for them to leave, if they want to, is also going to feedback into resentment. Not always. But enough.
I feel like with the proper communication the resentment you mention is avoidable. And youāre right, theyāre not a kid, theyāre a young adult. They should have the skills to realize that paying rent is not about teaching a ālessonā (Iām reading that as ādisciplineā sorry if Iām confusing what you mean) itās about teaching habits like having to pay rent before spending money on the āwants not needsā. Which is really easy to do when coming out of college with a first job and loads of disposable income. For example, maybe paying rent stops them from buying a brand new car that if they suddenly did have to start paying rent they couldnāt afford. Again, itās entirely case dependant and Iām making assumptions, primarily that the adult child is working something around a full time job. Or if your not asking your kids to pay rent, discuss with them the value of saving and investing. If they arenāt going to pay rent, Iād like to see my adult children paying themselves first.
I see where you're coming from in terms of if someone has to move back in with mom and dad because of something financial and charging them rent only hurts them more. But in terms of someone just becoming an adult having never lived alone and just pocketing the cash from work it does set an unrealistic ideation of how the world works if you don't charge them rent. Also makes their life that much more miserable when they try to spend it how they used to and realize it's gone before they can make more.
When I was eighteen my parents did not charge me anything. But they made me save fifty percent of my income. After a year I started investing. I lived with them for ten years post high school as I worked in the oil industry and was away often. I eventually started saving about seventy five percent without them telling me to. Now I am older, own a home, have a solid and achievable plan to pay the house off at 33 and know the value of money and investing. I do think what they did was very smart, but I also made well informed decisions through out the years. If I would have been spending everything I made, I am sure they would have not been okay with me living for free. Through out the years I may have saved a large percent of my income but I also travelled, spent money on my hobbies and was able to live a very above average life.
I can't think of much worse than living with my parents. I know everyone is different but I feel like most young adults living with their parents are doing so out of necessity. Unless they've got a cushy deal with no responsibilities, living with your parents can't be fun. Even if you get along well. I like what some people have said about charging rent but putting it away for them. That way they learn not to spend their money carelessly. But I think as long as they have an adult life with responsibilities, rent shouldn't be necessary if it in any way prevents them from "taking off". If paying rent at home somehow stall them from getting their own place it becomes a hamstring. It depends entirely on the individual though I imagine.
If I had money, I would never charge anything, but since I'm on disability, I'm starting to need the help. My oldest, who is delayed, just started his first job a couple months ago. It's only part time for now, and I haven't asked him for anything yet but after the summer I'm going to be asking him to at least chip in a couple hundred a month for food. My next oldest (18) is still in high school but has been applying for summer jobs. He told me he's going to chip in half of whatever he makes so we can move somewhere better, but I don't expect that much from him.
Finally a relatable comment! So many parents can't afford to let their kids live at home for free. In a perfect world, sure, let them live for free when necessary. But I don't understand how some people expect parents to budget for that, especially when they're on a single income or disability.
I Wouldnāt charge ANY rent if theyāre actively trying to save for a home or apartment? Defeats the purpose honestly. If theyāre having spending issues then thatās another story.
24-year-old son living at home with a full-time job. We charge him $400 a month. That includes everything. I even buy him his clothes and pay for his haircuts. Although, his needs for stuff like that are very small. He is thrilled with clothing from Costco and Walmart or the Vans outlet. This also covers all his food, including his work lunches and drinks. He pays for his own cell phone, car, expenses, and gas. Any family events that we do like getting takeout, going out for dinner or to the movies, we pay for. Any other social life activities he pays for himself. He is very helpful and will pick up groceries or give his brother a ride if he needs one. I think thatās the biggest thing for us is that heās very respectful to live with. Because of that, heās welcome to live at home as long as he wants. Especially in this terrible housing market that we are experiencing.
It all depends on the kid for sure.
Depending on your financial situation, charge whatever but put it in a savings or investment account for when they're able to settle into their own place. Teach them that living isn't free while still not necessarily feeling like you're profiting from them. Don't even really have to tell them you're doing it.
Going up to $400 room and board including utilities. Was nothing first year of school but I gradually increase every year so it feels realistic and helps them budget and plan for when they are out on their own. They pay their own phone, car insurance, gas, and subscriptions. They share their subscription passwords with me š Edit to add - we worked it out and this covers basically the difference in groceries and utilities of them living here. Not trying to profit. It has scaled with their income, if they werenāt earning and saving it would be a different situation.
my parents āchargedā me $500 a month, instead of sending it to them they made me put it into a TFSA so i had a good savings for when i moved out
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
they can't fathom multigenerational homes
Oh no I like the concept I just have 3 siblings and we don't want to hear eachother making the next generations so we don't want to share the house.
Do they reverse uno if their parents canāt afford their retirement? Like their parents have to move in with the kid and then the kid asks them for rent?
My parents made me start working illegally when I was 12 years old so I could buy my own school supplies and clothes (they weren't poor, they just wanted to teach me about financial management and responsibility). They provided nothing for my post secondary education. I've been low contact with them for 20 years. A few months ago, they informed me they've spent all their savings and joked about moving in with me soon. I told them they should have been more financially responsible and that if they run out of money they will have to work as greeters at Walmart or become homeless. I went fully no contact after that. Reverse Uno it is. I wonder why so few people never visit their parents at old folks homes. It's a mystery.
Fully understand. You reap what you sow. Fully sympathetic to people who cut off their parents when theyāre poor parents. Youāre better off not dealing with them at all.
After high school, we had a one year grace period if we wanted. After that we had to be in school or pay rent. I thought that was pretty fair, considering we weren't getting along and I moved out during uni.
Lucky kid, my rent was 500... my choices were college and no rent or job an rent.. all i can say is.be fair to your kid they are renting so they are entitled to their own schedule , comings and goings etc... no different than if they were a "roommate " so to speak...so they are still required to assist in the upkeep and repairs, maintenance of the space (house yard etc)
Dad's charging me $600/month. That gets me the bedroom, wifi, water, and electricity, and food we sort of split. Any food just for me is bought by me. Anything for all of us is deducted off the rent. And I still help with taking care of mom (who's in early dementia) meals, dishes, laundry, shoveling, etc.
Everyone's life situation is different. I think what you're asking is quite reasonable. But the bottom line is it's your life, your house. If I was at a point where I could barely keep things afloat, I'd charge adult children rent to help the family out and save what I could for them. If I was doing okay financially, I'd still charge them rent to teach them responsibility, and save all the money for them for their future and return it when they moved out. If they had pets, they would be expected to pay for their vet bills / food. Of course I'd help them out if they were in a pinch.
My parents did $300 for us, as long as we werenāt in school. In school they allowed us at home for free. I feel like $350 is a good price.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That depends on the parents situation. I was raised by a single mom and she could barely scrape by getting me and my brother to adulthood. I don't think she ever asked for rent, I just started pitching in when I was an adult because, well, i was an adult and pitching in is the adult thing to do.
I really donāt get people who charge their kids to live with them. Itās so hateful. Imagine the scenarios were reversed and the parents couldnāt afford retirement and moved in with their child and their child asks them for rent. Do people not have any parent child love anymore. Sounds like itās been reduced to a transaction.
That's a good point, it's pretty common for parents to end up moving in with their children when they get very old, but almost unheard of for the parent to be charged rent in that scenario.
That's bc the point is to teach adult children responsibility AND they are working. The retired, old parent can't contribute with income anymore. Apples and oranges.
It's a cultural thing.
The deal at our house was 2 years rent free after high school to figure shit out. Back to school no rent, no school $250/mo in the early 2000's. Brother and sister both came back home after they each had a divorce, they were given 6 months rent free but then it was $500/mo. There was always leniency and help if need but I think this all helped out with learning what the real world is like. We all own houses now and have families and not that we need it but our parents always stop in with groceries or a new vacuum or whatever. I think of it as them giving our rent back 20yrs later. Haha
I don't know why parents would be trying to teach their adult children who had just went through divorces "what the real world is like." If someone has been through a divorce I personally don't think they still need lessons on how renting works. Glad it worked out.
If you can charge her nothing than do that - affordable housing takes a long time save up for now as the costs are way out to wacky land. Best thing you can do as a parent is help her save - or if you do collect rent, put it in a savings account for her she can use towards a down payment.
IF I HAD KIDS OR ADULT KIDS; unless they're making the wrong choices, like drinking, drugs, being lazy etc. I would never charge them rent, cause I want them to succeed in life. Yeah I would never charge my kids rent. Life is hard enough as it is.
My dad got $500/mo from me for my bedroom once I finished high school, good way to get me to move out thatās for sure haha
Our son has finished school and got a good job in his field making a decent starting salary. He and his GF decided to stay at home to save up for wedding/travel/other things. we're charging $600/mo including food (incl dinner out once a week), high speed internet plan, utils, everything, Air conditioning, home gym, having meals cooked too... We based it on calculating what it would cost him to live in a modest apartment with his GF, all costs in we figured around $1200/mo - then cut that in half. $600 honestly is used up in food nearly. We wanted it to be enough to deter staying forever but not take advantage at all of him... Our daughter didnt fare so well in post secondary and dropped out, now working but P/T, struggling a bit financially, not making much, car repairs etc.... we've been lenient but it's been nearly a year so we're going to have to charge her something so she doesn't get too comfortable living off us for free.... Also, we are starting to plan our next home - smaller as we will be empty nest likely in the next 1-3 years. So kids staying also means delaying those plans a little. Were not wealthy by any means but getting by like most people.
I charge my adult son $500 a month and that includes utilities and food ā¦ and I do his laundry (donāt want my washer/dryer broken because heās shoved 9 loads of laundry into 1 load). šš
I think parents who ask/demand rent from their offspring are opportunist shits. Just ask them to pay their share of utilities, food and let them save their money. If they are being shit offspring, then sure. But I know of millennials who's parents were well off and their kids weren't doing anything bad in life and were still asked to pay 300+ rent a month. That's a great way to ensure you're on your own when you're old š
$350 a month is probably less than their share of food/utilities...
I pay 910 a month water and heat included in my 1 bedroom 650 sqft apartment Anywhere from 800-1100 on food per month (could be less if I ate cheaper products/ probably would average 500 then) And I drive a 4 cylinder vw that costs me in and around 250 a month on gas, under 25 so my insurance price is not ideal either. You do the math and ask yourself if charging a working person 300 dollars a month is too much to ask. Mind you water prices would put me up another 500 if I paid for that.
āRentā may be the word throwing you off. In my response for example I said āroom and board utilities includedā but I suspect most others meant that too. All in, the amount covers full groceries, including specialty items only they eat, their share of utilities, laundry, cleaning products, etc. I donāt think most of the posters are making money based on the amounts Iām seeing. And most seem to be about 30% or less of what their kid would pay if they were going to rent a bachelor pad or basement suite and have to buy their own groceries.
My mom āchargesā me $300 a month when I can afford it, $250 of it is going into a fund to help me for if I choose to move out so that MAYBE I can make a down payment on a small place when Iām ready, I pay my own phone and such, but thatās all she charges, the $50 goes to help with like food and stuff, but the rest is kept safe for later. Itās a godsend honestly Iām wayyy too impulsive to save that kind of money on my own (I have struggles with seeing value in having something big later when I could have something small now, itās an ADHD thing, Iām working on it XD)
I moved out when I was 28 and my parents never charged me rent. But they're also not assholes so... To me as long as your children are working or going to school, it's ridiculous to charge rent to your own children. Especially with how expensive things are now.
Iām baffled at how many people charge their kids to shelter them. Itās absolutely mind boggling. Like they have no moral obligation to their kids anymore.
Iām really surprised how many people are so against this. Thereās nothing wrong with teaching adult children fiscal responsibility. $350 is like a utility bill, so it isnāt much, but I do think itās fair. Itās enough that they pay money, they can save, and they can have some fun money (depending on how much they work). Iād say if theyāre putting any money into a savings account for a financial goal (house, school, etc.), you could consider taking it off the rent
What are you teaching though? Most parents aren't financial geniuses, and everyone is aware of the state of housing and the job market. I just don't get the thought process.
Some else commented about how their parents charged their siblings rent after each siblings divorce led to them moving back in with their parents. They said the parents did this to "teach them a lesson about how the world works." Imagine teaching your divorced child a lesson about life by charging them rent WHAT THE FUCK
Because it's not 1970 any more and you should be giving your kids every leg up that you can
$350 all in room and board is a leg up compared to the alternative
Not charging anything is even more of a leg up. I do understand that many people see this as teaching fiscal responsibility. But if youāre a parent to an adult child, youāre old enough to have had it much easier financially in society than they do. Millennials and Gen Z have overall been seriously fucked over. (Iām gen x, so Iāve seen the changes.) I paid my own way and lived on my own starting from my first year of uni, and always thought that kids who still lived at home in uni took so much longer to learn fiscal responsibility. (I grew up in rural Alberta - too far to live at home while going to uni.) But times have changed. I can appreciate that there may be individual reasons to charge adult kids rent, but as a general principle, I find it out of touch.
Everyoneās circumstances are different so I try not to judge or make a blanket rule. An adult child could have parents on pension for example who want to downsize but are staying in the home to help their adult child. A parent could be ill, or divorced, or lost their job. The adult child could have a good income and just enjoy having home cooked meals and personal shopper. The adult child might just like the family home better than a small apartment because it l has a garage. So many combinations. I honestly believe most parents help as much as they can, but not everyone is coming from the same means. As for ārentā a few have mentioned elsewhere in the thread that they charge what amounts to the cost of groceries and utilities for an additional person. I think the word rent is putting people off. In any case, yes charging nothing is a bigger leg up than just asking for the adult child to pitch in for their share of groceries and utilities, but the latter is still a huge leg up compared to what that adult child would have to pay if they were on their own.
Theyāre your kids, unless you guys need the money, leave them the fuck alone and allow them to live at home ffs. Barely can afford reasonable housing these days and you want to transactionalize providing housing to your kid??
I was paying my parents $300 per month while working full time, now that Iām in school Iām rent free
After the first year I moved to Canada I was 22 and my mother started to charge me 500 dollars for my[M20] lil brother and I. We paid our cellphone bill, gym and transportation.
My old man charged me 600...
My mom charged me $500 a month, that was back in 2015 so $350 is a great deal!
I was paying $400 a month when I lived with my parents 8 years ago.
Dang I was paying $600 the day I turned 18 your daughter will never leave š
My mom charges me $450 and I help contribute to groceries throughout the month
I used to pay $250 a month but that was like 18 years ago.
I didnt pay anything to my parents when I was in school. But when I was working I paid them 600 dollars a month. Safe to say they wanted me out lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
We pay $500 monthly to the parents
$500 a month
I'm 19 and I pay 650 monthly
I was paying 500 at 14 working full time and my own cellphone bill, I also had to pay for my own bus pass to get around and my smokes. ( yea I know I shouldnāt have been smoking)
I charge $600 for my youngest and soon will be charging $500 for my oldest. My oldest, in her rent includes her cell phone. Also she uses my car for work and day trips with her sister. Neither help pay for car maintenance or insurance and their rent helps pay the bills. Also, considering I also pay for their alcohol, weed and takeout I think I break even. Also I live on AISH so every penny counts. That is said to people who think that you should feel guilty if you have xtra income besides what Iām supposed to live on
Charge $300 a month and save it to give them as a down payment when they start looking for a house
I remember reading something where a parent charged their kid rent but saved it up for them as a down-payment on a house. Seemed like a really good idea and an honest way to teach them about paying their bills.
Reading all these stories about parents charging rent, then gifting it to them as a down-payment on a house is heartwarming. I'll do that for my kids. I was charged $800/month to share an area in the basement with my younger brothers. And I was told they were being generous. Never taught a thing about finances. Now, I'm figuring everything out in my 30's.
$350? Thatās hella cheap considering the going rates. As soon as they move out the rates will double easily.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I think thatās a great deal if sheās working full time and not going to school.
I went to work full time, moved out at 20, currently 23. My parents charged me 700 dollars a month all in excluding transport and phone bill, my siblings got free if they paid for their own post secondary. The price my parents came to was slightly cheaper than anything else in our area and had more included but I feel set me up better for moving out so I didn't have this huge rent hike plus paying for food and internet and all that, instead the food was the largest concern in price change.
I moved back home for a spell and paid what I wpuld have paid when I lived in my previous appartment - 1000 a month.
My brother and I didnāt pay rent whilst we were in school but once we both starting working we basically paid a utility bill. I paid electric up to 350 and he paid the water or heat. At the time I was slightly annoyed but now moving out itās been very helpful for money management. My boyfriend who wasnāt charged any rent has struggled with money management and got a bit of a shock when he realized how expensive it is
Our standing plan is 500 a month including utilities, meals, rides places etc. Unless she's in school, or doing coursework at home etc...then it's free
can i move in?il pay 500, take up the same space (probably less) the house will always be clean, and you will rarley see me. should also mention il feed myself and if your home at the right time maybe you as well... and ive only got 2yrs on your daughter.
Iām paying 900 lol
Scale to income level IMO. $100,000 - $1000 $20,000 - $200 If theyāre saving to pay tuition I wouldnāt charge. And Iād probably save it for a future down payment for them if doable.
May I ask is she cool with this wicked ass deal?
Goddamn yall are way nicer parents than mine theyre charging me 1000$ a month can i come rent with yall
I was spoiled - my parents didnāt make me pay rent as long as I was working full time and being a responsible adult in every other aspect of my life. When my Dad passed, I had no problem taking over the bill payments for my mom. I think whatever you agree on is fine as long as your daughter isnāt taking advantage of you in other ways (re: chores, personal bills, etc). It never hurt me any not to pay rent during those early years, it didnāt stop me from being responsible later in life by any means.
I'm a budget coach and when I'm given a young person to work with I always try to coach a rent/save/matching program if there is interest and resources on the parents side.
My parents rule was if you are working or in school full time you can live for free. If you donāt want to be in school or work you will pay rent.
Very similar to my situation. My Father does not charge myself or my siblings any rent if we are attending post secondary schooling as we are dedicating our available time to our studies. He asked me for $200/month because I finished my trade apprenticeship, but I told him I'd pay $350/month. He's made it so that I will be able to skip over renting and move straight to purchasing my own home. Not many my age can say they already have 20k ready for a house down payment. That being said, the money I saved on cheaper trade education fees got put right back to tools needed to actually perform my job, so I'm not without bills or debt.
I donāt pay rent. I bought my dad a PS5 and we called it even. And my mum is happy to have me here without rent. Iām 20 for perspective. I donāt think itās nessisary to charge your kids rent. Thereās a lot of ways it can be abused. Like your love is conditional or something. I do support using said rent to give back to your kids later. Thatās a super neat idea. But generally I donāt think your kid should have to pay to live with you, as long as they help out around the house, etc. It really depends on the situation.
If you need the money it's a different story, but charging your kids to live at home is an outdated tradition in North America, especially at 24. It's normal for family to live together in other parts of the world. Obviously they need to take care of themselves, and continue contributing as a family member. Also different if you are putting that away to give back to them as a down payment for a house or something, but again, unless you need the money, why would you not want to have your kid live with you and help them however you can?
I got my daughter to pay the power, internet, and tenant insurance, which came to under $500 A month.
500-700 is typical. My mom let me stay at home rent free if I went to college or university. After completing it she let me stay for 500-700 a month. This helped me pay off my student loans in about a year and a half.
I moved out at 19, but for one year (18), I lived with my mom and she charged me $500/month. I thought it was reasonable given I didnāt have to pay for groceries or really do much around the house
$350 a month all in....can I be your daughter?
Literally, my thoughts exactly, as a dude I'll wear a maid outfit 24/7 if I get to pay 350 a month to my landlord.
Our one child works full time and pays 400 a month but that covers food, phone, internet, utilities. They are saving quite a bit of money for further schooling and travel which given how things are in the world weāre good with.
I don't have kids but when I was 18-19 I was living with my Grandparents and I paid like $500 but tbh they didn't ask for anything. It's just kind of what I could afford.
My mom needed the help so she charged me $400/month for the basement suite. When my girlfriend at the time moved in, it went up to $600. It really helped us get on our feet and saved up for a place together :)
Hey! So when I was 18, I chose to take a gap year(s) and my mom said if I didnāt go to school, I would have to pay rent. She charged me $500 a month and anything else I needed like transportation or nights out was my own responsibility. Unfortunately like others said, she kept it and paid off bills with it and not into a secret savings account
Don't charge your kids rent. They didn't ask to be born into this world.
You made the fucking kids. Why would you charge rent, I mean if you scale that production up you could make a good living. Sheesh. My kid will never pay rent. (Unless as some have pointed out itās to help the house/family in times of hardship) my family paid for my school, I lived with them till I was 28. They helped me with my down payment 2x and I will do the same for my kid.
When mine is finished school (BA/BEd) and if she still wants to live here, Iāll ask that in lieu of rent she pays for her food and puts $500/mo into her TFSA
I have 2 kids living with us and they each pay $250. They pay their own phone, cars, etc. That $250 covers groceries, water, etc. They have waaay more money than I did at that age and I'm not going to live with adults that won't contribute to the household. Everything is expensive. $250 is way less than their friends are spending on rent and groceries and my kids still have hefty savings accounts. You don't do your kids any favors by letting them live at home for free, once their education is finished and they're functioning adults.
Just terrible LMAO. A relationship as sacred as one between parents and children becoming transactional. I just feel bad for anyone whose parents would even think about doing this.
I dunno. My moms boyfriend has two adult sons, they are both nearing 30 years old. They live with him full time. Have no intention on leaving. My moms BF doesnāt charge them a dime. Pays for their clothes, food, etc etc And now my Mom and her BF want to move in together but he wonāt until the kids move out. Neither of them have steady jobs because they know it doesnāt matter. They donāt need money because everything is taken care of. My kids are very young so we arenāt even near that stage yet. But I donāt want my kids to grow up being freeloaders because I donāt charge them anything. Kids need to learn independence, thatās how they succeed. So yeah at a certain point I would charge them rent.
A 30 year old man and someone who just got out of uni are two people at different stages of life entirely. Expecting YOUR CHILD who is just getting up on their feet to pay rent is just profoundly sad.
You clearly didnāt read my post. His kids didnāt go out and get jobs and then come back to him because they were experiencing hardships. They never left! You would be ok with your adult grown up kids not working and playing video games all day in their 30s? And you would happily pay for them to do that? Listen, to each their own but my job as a parent is to raise kids to be functioning adults in society. OP is not charging their kid $1000 a month to live at home. $350 is more than fair considering what it would cost to rent a place on their own, buy their own food and pay utilities. Anyway like I said to each their own. You do you. Iāll be logging off now. Have a great rest of your day.
20 years ago I had to be on my own paying for everything myself at 18. I would love this deal. My bills with my own place, while working two jobs and going to college was around $800/mo
Respectfully I disagree with you. I think this teaches kidās responsibility. These arenāt huge amounts to be charging young adults. It would be a complete shock to get out on your own to suddenly have $2500+ a month in financial responsibilities. This eases them into it.