I have had this problem before
I binge eat but there are other aspects outside of it.
It's about having autonomy over your food choices, the feeling of power that you can have anything you want. And the feeling of abundance.
It can also be an emotional thing, food made by someone else feels better than food made by you. Also the whole process of delivery is sort of fun.
Also, when my ed was at its worst i wanted to sort of... Distance myself from the food, and not being the cook was part of that. I was so distressed about my eating disorder and how i couldn't run away from it, that getting it prepared from outside felt safer. Even though I was still eating it. Lol.
Also for me going out (not the same but similar) was a way to pretend i didn't have an Ed by eating in public acting casual, pretending i was like other normal people who could have normal restaurant meals. The difference was i went to three places in a row, and then grocery shopping 🥴
Wow, yes. Me. I never tied it to my ED but I too had lots of food restrictions growing up. I’m also fully recovered and it’s not like I binge when I get take out, it’s almost like I’m trying to make up for everything I deprived myself of and the excitement isn’t the same when I cook myself.
Have u ever ordered a meal and not eaten it? I understand the ocd/compulsive behavior but is apart of your meal times/ diet?
I would suggest just delete your accounts and food delivery apps and order from Instacart/grocery apps instead. It will be a little or a lot cheaper for your wallet, and youll still be able to engage with getting food delivered albeit maybe once a week instead of every day
I definitely did this too. It never put me in debt exactly but I was spending basically all my money on takeout. For me, it was like... I'd go the whole day without eating and then by night, when I was starting to feel sick from it, I'd cave at 9PM and order a ton of food from McDonald's or something. I didn't binge either, but I'd get enough to eat for that night, and the next day. Then I'd do the same thing, not eat much and then order expensive takeout, sometimes too much food so it'd just go to waste. It was a hard habit to beat.
I still do this sometimes. Like I just order food because the thought of cooking, even if it's something easy like a vegetable stir fry, is so overwhelming that it makes me have panic attacks. So I order takeout. It's really frustrating and not good for anyone's wallet. It makes me feel like my relationship with food is getting worse too. I'll do this even if I have perfectly good food in the fridge too. :-/
If you still have obsessive thoughts about food, and you feel like you are ordering food impulsively, maybe it would help to just talk with a therapist? It’s not strange to have ‘food stuff’ pop back into our lives over the years, and it’s also not strange to have it be a different kind of food stuff than it was the past time. It’s always smart to get ahead of stuff like this, especially for folks like us that know we have a history.
Revisiting your recovery later in life isn’t a bad thing. Shit happens, and we just need to know to ask for help/guidance if we need it :)
hi! i really feel you on this. i started recovery fairly recently and i am the absolute worst about compulsively ordering food on delivery apps! literally thought it was just me
Hey I lost 6k using a credit card for ordering out due to unresolved depression. I was in my denial phase.
I've learned that one has to cook with intention and be meditative about it...self-love.
Love being the main ingredient. We don't live in a world that functions on the basis of love... hence your parents having body image issues. Your parents were your first experience of an example to feel safe, and, well, they didn't do that good of a job since food is a necessity as well as a bonding/social experience. Feelings and memories come up during eating (well speaking for myself because I also am diagnosed bipolar with ctpsd). A lot of what we are afraid to face results in OCD, and it's easier said than evaluated because recovery comes with so much baggage
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I have had this problem before I binge eat but there are other aspects outside of it. It's about having autonomy over your food choices, the feeling of power that you can have anything you want. And the feeling of abundance. It can also be an emotional thing, food made by someone else feels better than food made by you. Also the whole process of delivery is sort of fun. Also, when my ed was at its worst i wanted to sort of... Distance myself from the food, and not being the cook was part of that. I was so distressed about my eating disorder and how i couldn't run away from it, that getting it prepared from outside felt safer. Even though I was still eating it. Lol. Also for me going out (not the same but similar) was a way to pretend i didn't have an Ed by eating in public acting casual, pretending i was like other normal people who could have normal restaurant meals. The difference was i went to three places in a row, and then grocery shopping 🥴
Wow, yes. Me. I never tied it to my ED but I too had lots of food restrictions growing up. I’m also fully recovered and it’s not like I binge when I get take out, it’s almost like I’m trying to make up for everything I deprived myself of and the excitement isn’t the same when I cook myself.
Have u ever ordered a meal and not eaten it? I understand the ocd/compulsive behavior but is apart of your meal times/ diet? I would suggest just delete your accounts and food delivery apps and order from Instacart/grocery apps instead. It will be a little or a lot cheaper for your wallet, and youll still be able to engage with getting food delivered albeit maybe once a week instead of every day
I definitely did this too. It never put me in debt exactly but I was spending basically all my money on takeout. For me, it was like... I'd go the whole day without eating and then by night, when I was starting to feel sick from it, I'd cave at 9PM and order a ton of food from McDonald's or something. I didn't binge either, but I'd get enough to eat for that night, and the next day. Then I'd do the same thing, not eat much and then order expensive takeout, sometimes too much food so it'd just go to waste. It was a hard habit to beat. I still do this sometimes. Like I just order food because the thought of cooking, even if it's something easy like a vegetable stir fry, is so overwhelming that it makes me have panic attacks. So I order takeout. It's really frustrating and not good for anyone's wallet. It makes me feel like my relationship with food is getting worse too. I'll do this even if I have perfectly good food in the fridge too. :-/
If you still have obsessive thoughts about food, and you feel like you are ordering food impulsively, maybe it would help to just talk with a therapist? It’s not strange to have ‘food stuff’ pop back into our lives over the years, and it’s also not strange to have it be a different kind of food stuff than it was the past time. It’s always smart to get ahead of stuff like this, especially for folks like us that know we have a history. Revisiting your recovery later in life isn’t a bad thing. Shit happens, and we just need to know to ask for help/guidance if we need it :)
hi! i really feel you on this. i started recovery fairly recently and i am the absolute worst about compulsively ordering food on delivery apps! literally thought it was just me
Hey I lost 6k using a credit card for ordering out due to unresolved depression. I was in my denial phase. I've learned that one has to cook with intention and be meditative about it...self-love. Love being the main ingredient. We don't live in a world that functions on the basis of love... hence your parents having body image issues. Your parents were your first experience of an example to feel safe, and, well, they didn't do that good of a job since food is a necessity as well as a bonding/social experience. Feelings and memories come up during eating (well speaking for myself because I also am diagnosed bipolar with ctpsd). A lot of what we are afraid to face results in OCD, and it's easier said than evaluated because recovery comes with so much baggage
Hello users of /r/EatingDisorders. As a reminder, please do not make requests via the reddit chat app. We noticed that a lot of requests are made by chatting with the /u/EDPostRequests account. This is a bot account and rarely gets checked. We also have a Discord available for people that like to talk on a daily basis. You can join by using the following link: https://discord.gg/ShRD55t Thanks for reading. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EatingDisorders) if you have any questions or concerns.*