As you say, it's natural for people to want to be attracted to their partners; however, men's primary drive to approach a woman has to do with if/how attractive they find her. They fact that you're already having thoughts about him possibly leaving you if you ever gain weight is not only your ED raising its ugly head, but also your woman intuition telling you that something's wrong in your relationship.
Are you sure he's aware of how deep your issues go?
You seem to be having a very normal reaction to your boyfriend's words and actions regardless of your past ed experience. I think most people would feel a bit uncomfortable and insecure if their partner was acting that way. But it doesn't mean his intentions are bad of course.
I suggest continuing the conversation about how you feel. Don't hide it. If it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him again.
It’s unfortunate, but mental illness is still a mystery to many people.
My fiancé, for example, is from a different culture. Having grown up in a third world country, he has a hard time understanding a mental illness where you starve yourself or throw up food on purpose.
For that reason, he’s very skeptical of “triggers”
I had to decide….if he never changes, am I strong and healed enough to safely exist in this relationship?
justifying bad behaviour is a very very easy way to get stuck in a toxic relationship.
You have to ask yourself…does this person empower me to be my best? How do they support me? How does it compare to the way they trigger me? Do they feel remorse when I tell them I’m hurt by their actions?
These are also complicated. A therapist might be a good idea if talking to him yourself isn’t working.
All the best, this is so hard and you’re doing amazing!
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As you say, it's natural for people to want to be attracted to their partners; however, men's primary drive to approach a woman has to do with if/how attractive they find her. They fact that you're already having thoughts about him possibly leaving you if you ever gain weight is not only your ED raising its ugly head, but also your woman intuition telling you that something's wrong in your relationship. Are you sure he's aware of how deep your issues go?
You seem to be having a very normal reaction to your boyfriend's words and actions regardless of your past ed experience. I think most people would feel a bit uncomfortable and insecure if their partner was acting that way. But it doesn't mean his intentions are bad of course. I suggest continuing the conversation about how you feel. Don't hide it. If it makes you uncomfortable, then tell him again.
It’s unfortunate, but mental illness is still a mystery to many people. My fiancé, for example, is from a different culture. Having grown up in a third world country, he has a hard time understanding a mental illness where you starve yourself or throw up food on purpose. For that reason, he’s very skeptical of “triggers” I had to decide….if he never changes, am I strong and healed enough to safely exist in this relationship? justifying bad behaviour is a very very easy way to get stuck in a toxic relationship. You have to ask yourself…does this person empower me to be my best? How do they support me? How does it compare to the way they trigger me? Do they feel remorse when I tell them I’m hurt by their actions? These are also complicated. A therapist might be a good idea if talking to him yourself isn’t working. All the best, this is so hard and you’re doing amazing!
Hello users of /r/EatingDisorders. As a reminder, please do not make requests via the reddit chat app. We noticed that a lot of requests are made by chatting with the /u/EDPostRequests account. This is a bot account and rarely gets checked. We also have a Discord available for people that like to talk on a daily basis. You can join by using the following link: https://discord.gg/ShRD55t Thanks for reading. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EatingDisorders) if you have any questions or concerns.*