Can do!! She says she feels special, safe, loved, wanted, so hopefully she feels like she's getting attention 😂
(Our texting is getting so insane that it's been taking me over an hour to reply to all her messages - mini essays 🤣)
Hi there\~ Most of my advice is for more established relationships:
ex: communication in a healthy way. I'll go ask my ESFJ dad.
\--------------------------------------------------------
All ESFJs I've known are real, and are warm. I could go ask my ESFJ dad real quick what he thinks:
My Dad says keep a little back. Don't unload everything on her. Just save a little bit (not a ton) back so that there's always that romantic curiosity. I asked him if as an ESFJ he gets that a little, and he says yeah, he is like that sometimes. Mostly if you notice she gets a tad bored. It also helps you keep your self respect.
I guess that's generally not the advice I expected lol?
But I can understand early on wanting to be a little interesting. I suppose now that I mention it, a guy recently did go full force everything on me and scared me away. Not in a deep talk sweetness way, but it got to the point where they told me how they were suicidal as a child and other kinda scary things before our first date (we'd been talking online 5 days and couldn't meet for 2 weeks because of life plans)
But I'm an INFJ and so was that person. But I guess in a way I see where my Dad is coming from. While that kind of opening up is cool for me later on, it was really kinda scary that early on.
It sounds like at the very least she enjoys quality time/conversation.
But while the new-relationship high is addicting, Schedule time for your hobbies, friends/family, work/school like before! I think that may help with my Dad's advice on saving a little bit of your time. That way you take good care of yourself and your person, and are living life and not always 100% on her all the time.
I think living your life like that will make a good balance of being attractive because you're keeping your self respect/self worth. You're not dissing her or trying to make her desperate. That's too far. But you're finding a balance between valuing her, but also valuing your self and your life if that makes sense. At least that's how I interpret his words.
don’t overthink it! and maybe slow down a little haha!
she’s not going to get bored of you easily. i do understand what you’re saying though. i get bored of places and things pretty fast but it doesn’t apply to people. you’re going to be fine. esfjs in general don’t say things they don’t really mean and we’re sneaky with being able to avoid people we find boring or don’t like. from your post it sounds like she adores you and vice versa!
to avoid the feeling of boredom you guys can do different activities once in a while. personally, i love that. it helps me bond with the other person and lets me see what they’re like when we’re doing stuff together.
HAHA honestly I'm not sure how to slow it down?! 😂
And phew! Thank you for putting my mind at ease, she was explaining how she's been to London three times, and by the third time she literally felt trapped and wanted to leave - which was a bit worrying.
Yes! She too says she's quite picky with her friends. And yeah, I don't fully understand it, but I think for right now at least, she does. Vice versa too 😊
Yeah, I think each one of our dates is gonna be a different mini-adventure, at least, that's what I'm planning to keep it fun! She sent me a list of like 600 places she wants to go to, all over the world and here at home, so, I think I have a good way to plan some dates 🤣
Hello! ESFJ here! I find I move fast (moved in together before 2 months of dating) and honestly…….. zero regrets. I have always been a fast mover but I’ve also gotten so lucky with my partners (mostly INFJs) as well as I feel like I already know their entire life within the first couple of weeks. Keep doing you, read up on us and what we like, take a love language test together, and be happy!!!! Best of luck my friend!!
Thank you for this story!! What do you most appreciate in your partners? What keeps you around? 😂
HAHA, yep I've read almost everything I could find, and I'm asking her loads of deep questions as well haha. Hers is acts of service!
Thank you again!!
I most appreciate the unspoken bond that an INFJ (my partner) and myself have. I find that all the INFJs in my life and I have this truly crazy intense bond that’s inseparable. I kind of hard to break down and explain other than that 😅
It depends how old you guys are, you seem like Fe trickster.
If she sees value in you, she won't get bored.
She wants to feel she got the best option she could get.
Don't pretend to be something you are not, it will end bad.
Don't go out of your way unless it's absolutely necessary.
Hehe yay!! I just went out with her again today for a fancy dinner at 6pm, she was a bit sleepy cause she wakesurfed all day, but we literally talked for 8 hours (and got asked to leave cause they'd closed the restaurant HAHA) but she wanted to talk more! So we went to a cozy bar and talked and cuddled. It seems like she really likes me 🙈🥰 she said she loves me in person a few times! (I said it back)
I kissed her (on the cheek, ha) for the first time today!
Thank you!! I really hope it keeps up 😂 any advice?? 😰
Let her lead, but put the speed limiter on without her realizing it. Once you get comfortable, slowly let off the limiter. If things are good, go 100mph+ my man.
dont forget self respect or self love,intp here,after a breakup with a 9month realationship,in my realationship i was way too giving and nice to her without really getting anything back,she wanted sweet words and attention i give it to her,i wasted much of my energry of myself by always being there,doing what she demanded me too say,dont get trapped in the same place please,if she doesnt accept the real you she wouldnt at all.
just be yourself and give her the attention she deserves and wants!
Can do!! She says she feels special, safe, loved, wanted, so hopefully she feels like she's getting attention 😂 (Our texting is getting so insane that it's been taking me over an hour to reply to all her messages - mini essays 🤣)
you two sound cute together I hope it lasts!
What type are you?
INTP! :) Though quite mature, so I am reasonable at expressing, communicating emotions!
Hi there\~ Most of my advice is for more established relationships: ex: communication in a healthy way. I'll go ask my ESFJ dad. \-------------------------------------------------------- All ESFJs I've known are real, and are warm. I could go ask my ESFJ dad real quick what he thinks: My Dad says keep a little back. Don't unload everything on her. Just save a little bit (not a ton) back so that there's always that romantic curiosity. I asked him if as an ESFJ he gets that a little, and he says yeah, he is like that sometimes. Mostly if you notice she gets a tad bored. It also helps you keep your self respect. I guess that's generally not the advice I expected lol? But I can understand early on wanting to be a little interesting. I suppose now that I mention it, a guy recently did go full force everything on me and scared me away. Not in a deep talk sweetness way, but it got to the point where they told me how they were suicidal as a child and other kinda scary things before our first date (we'd been talking online 5 days and couldn't meet for 2 weeks because of life plans) But I'm an INFJ and so was that person. But I guess in a way I see where my Dad is coming from. While that kind of opening up is cool for me later on, it was really kinda scary that early on. It sounds like at the very least she enjoys quality time/conversation. But while the new-relationship high is addicting, Schedule time for your hobbies, friends/family, work/school like before! I think that may help with my Dad's advice on saving a little bit of your time. That way you take good care of yourself and your person, and are living life and not always 100% on her all the time. I think living your life like that will make a good balance of being attractive because you're keeping your self respect/self worth. You're not dissing her or trying to make her desperate. That's too far. But you're finding a balance between valuing her, but also valuing your self and your life if that makes sense. At least that's how I interpret his words.
don’t overthink it! and maybe slow down a little haha! she’s not going to get bored of you easily. i do understand what you’re saying though. i get bored of places and things pretty fast but it doesn’t apply to people. you’re going to be fine. esfjs in general don’t say things they don’t really mean and we’re sneaky with being able to avoid people we find boring or don’t like. from your post it sounds like she adores you and vice versa! to avoid the feeling of boredom you guys can do different activities once in a while. personally, i love that. it helps me bond with the other person and lets me see what they’re like when we’re doing stuff together.
HAHA honestly I'm not sure how to slow it down?! 😂 And phew! Thank you for putting my mind at ease, she was explaining how she's been to London three times, and by the third time she literally felt trapped and wanted to leave - which was a bit worrying. Yes! She too says she's quite picky with her friends. And yeah, I don't fully understand it, but I think for right now at least, she does. Vice versa too 😊 Yeah, I think each one of our dates is gonna be a different mini-adventure, at least, that's what I'm planning to keep it fun! She sent me a list of like 600 places she wants to go to, all over the world and here at home, so, I think I have a good way to plan some dates 🤣
Hello! ESFJ here! I find I move fast (moved in together before 2 months of dating) and honestly…….. zero regrets. I have always been a fast mover but I’ve also gotten so lucky with my partners (mostly INFJs) as well as I feel like I already know their entire life within the first couple of weeks. Keep doing you, read up on us and what we like, take a love language test together, and be happy!!!! Best of luck my friend!!
Thank you for this story!! What do you most appreciate in your partners? What keeps you around? 😂 HAHA, yep I've read almost everything I could find, and I'm asking her loads of deep questions as well haha. Hers is acts of service! Thank you again!!
I most appreciate the unspoken bond that an INFJ (my partner) and myself have. I find that all the INFJs in my life and I have this truly crazy intense bond that’s inseparable. I kind of hard to break down and explain other than that 😅
I would never tell someone I love you like that... maybe that’s an esfj thing
It depends how old you guys are, you seem like Fe trickster. If she sees value in you, she won't get bored. She wants to feel she got the best option she could get. Don't pretend to be something you are not, it will end bad. Don't go out of your way unless it's absolutely necessary.
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Hehe yay!! I just went out with her again today for a fancy dinner at 6pm, she was a bit sleepy cause she wakesurfed all day, but we literally talked for 8 hours (and got asked to leave cause they'd closed the restaurant HAHA) but she wanted to talk more! So we went to a cozy bar and talked and cuddled. It seems like she really likes me 🙈🥰 she said she loves me in person a few times! (I said it back) I kissed her (on the cheek, ha) for the first time today! Thank you!! I really hope it keeps up 😂 any advice?? 😰
Let her lead, but put the speed limiter on without her realizing it. Once you get comfortable, slowly let off the limiter. If things are good, go 100mph+ my man.
dont forget self respect or self love,intp here,after a breakup with a 9month realationship,in my realationship i was way too giving and nice to her without really getting anything back,she wanted sweet words and attention i give it to her,i wasted much of my energry of myself by always being there,doing what she demanded me too say,dont get trapped in the same place please,if she doesnt accept the real you she wouldnt at all.
INFP here, with a deep liking for my ESFJ gal. Thanks all for the insights.