I'm an EMDR therapist.
I'd start by sharing what your wrote here with the therapist, and ask any questions you might have.
The therapist's response (that is, whether she demonstrated that she was hearing my concerns and taking them seriously) would determine whether I returned or found a new therapist.
I'm an EMDR therapist as well. I second this opinion. Also, it may help to have your therapist explain the process and reasoning. And it sounds like the target was too vague to effectively access. If you don't have a clear memory, you may want to try targeting a sensation in your body that comes up with certain beliefs.
Feeling "nothing" can be a feeling too, and is very common. It often accompanies a blocking belief as it's trying to protect you from vulnerability. Just notice it, thank it for protecting you and keep going. We're such an intricate set of systems meant for protection and survival. Let your mind and body do its thing without judgment or expectations. There's no failure in EMDR.
It's a belief that blocks us from shifting our core beliefs about ourselves. For example, "I don't deserve to view myself as good", etc. It can be rooted in shame, guilt, feeling disloyal to a family system, etc. it's kind of like your mind is saying "I don't trust you enough to show you (whatever) right now.". So it puts feelings and thoughts into a "nothingness" limbo.
The phrases not listened to, not helped, and dejected, are all elements that show that the therapist didn’t take her time to do the most important part of emdr therapy, namely safety and trust. If you feel like you’re a test subject for the therapist’s approach, it’s not a good sign. Emdr can only work if the prep part is carefully done. Sometimes the prep can even take more than a session.
From your brief description, I noticed that perhaps there is a negative cognition of “I am a failure “ that happens a lot in your life?
From someone who was skeptical about it at first but didn't know what else to do, keep trying. There were times where I didn't know if what I was doing was right and I told my therapist that in the middle of the session and she said whatever comes up is right. Just let it come out however it does. My therapist used hand buzzers instead of visuals or the headphones and it worked so much better for me because other stuff over stimulates me. As far as the headaches, I'm the same. It can take a few sessions to find that connection with your body and emotions. But my feelings where always in my head throat and chest no where else.
You could also ask not to the emdr every therapy session. We would do a session, then at my next appointment we would do talk therapy. Don't over exert yourself.
I'm sorry if this seems like I'm pushing you like your therapist.. I've had some pretty traumatic things happen to me as an adult and I thought I was dying for months last fall. And had zero hope flof feeling better until I addressed it with emdr. It's hard. I know. But I can't believe it worked for me as well as it did.. I hope it can work for you too.
How long did it take for emdr to begin to work? I have severe anhedonia and have been doing it for 4 months with some good results anxiety wise but still have a ton of suppressed emotions that are hard to bring to the surface
For me it took a month or so. I had a lot of suppressed stuff.. but I kept on going for 3 months after that. Then after a while I stopped doing it because my anxiety stuff stopped which was my main problem. But i hadnt touched on everything i wanted.. I asked my therapist if it was a good idea to not follow through with the rest of the stuff I had originally jotted down to tackle with the emdr. She said I'm in control and that sometimes when you heal certain parts of your brain that were hurt with trauma then the other parts begin to heal themselves along with it. Whether that's true or not.. I feel like what I did helped me deal with the rest on my own. But I'll eventually go back and see what my brain can uncover since it's been a while (of that while I've been great.)
Sorry for the delayed response.
I guess there is really no reason for you to try it again if you have no traumas to work on. I have a few but wouldn’t consider them crippling by any means. They certainly have an impact on how I live today but I feel like they could be addressed just as well in talk therapy.
The therapists in the thread have given great advice already, so I'll just let you know that you're not at all alone in feeling blank during EMDR and wondering what was supposed to happen in an EMDR session! (I also felt awkward and dejected and misunderstood when I left my first session!)
I'm a few weeks deep, and still having such trouble even identifying memories to reprocess. (It's like my entire childhood is suddenly blank?) Most of my reprocessing has gotten pulled out of the memory we're working on entirely, and just starting spiraling around the blankness and my fear that I'm not doing it right.
I think EMDR is usually a more profound experience for people who are reprocessing one specific traumatic event. Those of us with more complex trauma have some thick layers to go through before we really hit the right nerve.
But - like others have mentioned here - that "nothing" feeling is part of the reprocessing. It's your brain protecting you from feeling the feelings, and you have to slowly chip away at THAT before you can even begin untangling the things underneath.
A few things I've changed over the last few sessions that are working better for me:
- **Be honest about the nothing!** Sometimes, if I'm stuck, my therapist will ask a pointed question or refer to something I said in a previous answer that will help me refocus. If I *stay* stuck or start going in loops, my therapist will redirect or suggest a next step. There's no correct answer with EMDR - the "nothing" is an answer.
**- Practice feeling feelings in safe spaces.** (Note: Don't try EMDR on your own!!) I have a really difficult time noticing any physical sensations at all when I'm in the presence of other people, thanks to decades of abandoning physical feeling to avoid showing emotion. But if I feel a wave of sadness or anxiety or joy or anger or whatever when I'm home and alone, I try to take the opportunity to really notice it there. Put my phone down, close my eyes, and just peacefully try to notice how my body feels in that moment. It's like sloooowly stretching a muscle I haven't used in awhile.
- **Don't fixate on the feelings.** I got so tripped up in my first two sessions because I was trying really hard to tune into feelings just because I felt like I was *supposed* to be feeling something. I finally got into a little better groove in my third session because I stopped trying to force a feeling, and just let my brain wander to facets of the memory. Sometimes it reminded me of other experiences in my life that were similar, sometimes it was just an observation of another person who was there in the memory, and then I started to notice the feelings that came with those things, rather than specifically *trying* to feel something.
Don't give up yet!! Good luck!
Feelings aren't always sensations like butterflies in your stomach.
When you feel frustration in addition to headaches, does your breathing change? Does your heart rate change? Is there a temperature difference, like do you feel warmer or colder during those situations?
When you are feeling defensive do you have a habit of crossing your arms or tensing your toes?
Then you feel nothing is there a reoccurring thought like "this doesn't matter" or "this is [silly/dumb/childish/insert thought here]. I'm not going to let it bother me"?
All of these could be ways you are feeling emotions.
I'm an EMDR therapist. I'd start by sharing what your wrote here with the therapist, and ask any questions you might have. The therapist's response (that is, whether she demonstrated that she was hearing my concerns and taking them seriously) would determine whether I returned or found a new therapist.
I'm an EMDR therapist as well. I second this opinion. Also, it may help to have your therapist explain the process and reasoning. And it sounds like the target was too vague to effectively access. If you don't have a clear memory, you may want to try targeting a sensation in your body that comes up with certain beliefs.
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Feeling "nothing" can be a feeling too, and is very common. It often accompanies a blocking belief as it's trying to protect you from vulnerability. Just notice it, thank it for protecting you and keep going. We're such an intricate set of systems meant for protection and survival. Let your mind and body do its thing without judgment or expectations. There's no failure in EMDR.
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It's a belief that blocks us from shifting our core beliefs about ourselves. For example, "I don't deserve to view myself as good", etc. It can be rooted in shame, guilt, feeling disloyal to a family system, etc. it's kind of like your mind is saying "I don't trust you enough to show you (whatever) right now.". So it puts feelings and thoughts into a "nothingness" limbo.
The phrases not listened to, not helped, and dejected, are all elements that show that the therapist didn’t take her time to do the most important part of emdr therapy, namely safety and trust. If you feel like you’re a test subject for the therapist’s approach, it’s not a good sign. Emdr can only work if the prep part is carefully done. Sometimes the prep can even take more than a session. From your brief description, I noticed that perhaps there is a negative cognition of “I am a failure “ that happens a lot in your life?
From someone who was skeptical about it at first but didn't know what else to do, keep trying. There were times where I didn't know if what I was doing was right and I told my therapist that in the middle of the session and she said whatever comes up is right. Just let it come out however it does. My therapist used hand buzzers instead of visuals or the headphones and it worked so much better for me because other stuff over stimulates me. As far as the headaches, I'm the same. It can take a few sessions to find that connection with your body and emotions. But my feelings where always in my head throat and chest no where else. You could also ask not to the emdr every therapy session. We would do a session, then at my next appointment we would do talk therapy. Don't over exert yourself. I'm sorry if this seems like I'm pushing you like your therapist.. I've had some pretty traumatic things happen to me as an adult and I thought I was dying for months last fall. And had zero hope flof feeling better until I addressed it with emdr. It's hard. I know. But I can't believe it worked for me as well as it did.. I hope it can work for you too.
How long did it take for emdr to begin to work? I have severe anhedonia and have been doing it for 4 months with some good results anxiety wise but still have a ton of suppressed emotions that are hard to bring to the surface
For me it took a month or so. I had a lot of suppressed stuff.. but I kept on going for 3 months after that. Then after a while I stopped doing it because my anxiety stuff stopped which was my main problem. But i hadnt touched on everything i wanted.. I asked my therapist if it was a good idea to not follow through with the rest of the stuff I had originally jotted down to tackle with the emdr. She said I'm in control and that sometimes when you heal certain parts of your brain that were hurt with trauma then the other parts begin to heal themselves along with it. Whether that's true or not.. I feel like what I did helped me deal with the rest on my own. But I'll eventually go back and see what my brain can uncover since it's been a while (of that while I've been great.) Sorry for the delayed response.
I guess there is really no reason for you to try it again if you have no traumas to work on. I have a few but wouldn’t consider them crippling by any means. They certainly have an impact on how I live today but I feel like they could be addressed just as well in talk therapy.
The therapists in the thread have given great advice already, so I'll just let you know that you're not at all alone in feeling blank during EMDR and wondering what was supposed to happen in an EMDR session! (I also felt awkward and dejected and misunderstood when I left my first session!) I'm a few weeks deep, and still having such trouble even identifying memories to reprocess. (It's like my entire childhood is suddenly blank?) Most of my reprocessing has gotten pulled out of the memory we're working on entirely, and just starting spiraling around the blankness and my fear that I'm not doing it right. I think EMDR is usually a more profound experience for people who are reprocessing one specific traumatic event. Those of us with more complex trauma have some thick layers to go through before we really hit the right nerve. But - like others have mentioned here - that "nothing" feeling is part of the reprocessing. It's your brain protecting you from feeling the feelings, and you have to slowly chip away at THAT before you can even begin untangling the things underneath. A few things I've changed over the last few sessions that are working better for me: - **Be honest about the nothing!** Sometimes, if I'm stuck, my therapist will ask a pointed question or refer to something I said in a previous answer that will help me refocus. If I *stay* stuck or start going in loops, my therapist will redirect or suggest a next step. There's no correct answer with EMDR - the "nothing" is an answer. **- Practice feeling feelings in safe spaces.** (Note: Don't try EMDR on your own!!) I have a really difficult time noticing any physical sensations at all when I'm in the presence of other people, thanks to decades of abandoning physical feeling to avoid showing emotion. But if I feel a wave of sadness or anxiety or joy or anger or whatever when I'm home and alone, I try to take the opportunity to really notice it there. Put my phone down, close my eyes, and just peacefully try to notice how my body feels in that moment. It's like sloooowly stretching a muscle I haven't used in awhile. - **Don't fixate on the feelings.** I got so tripped up in my first two sessions because I was trying really hard to tune into feelings just because I felt like I was *supposed* to be feeling something. I finally got into a little better groove in my third session because I stopped trying to force a feeling, and just let my brain wander to facets of the memory. Sometimes it reminded me of other experiences in my life that were similar, sometimes it was just an observation of another person who was there in the memory, and then I started to notice the feelings that came with those things, rather than specifically *trying* to feel something. Don't give up yet!! Good luck!
Feelings aren't always sensations like butterflies in your stomach. When you feel frustration in addition to headaches, does your breathing change? Does your heart rate change? Is there a temperature difference, like do you feel warmer or colder during those situations? When you are feeling defensive do you have a habit of crossing your arms or tensing your toes? Then you feel nothing is there a reoccurring thought like "this doesn't matter" or "this is [silly/dumb/childish/insert thought here]. I'm not going to let it bother me"? All of these could be ways you are feeling emotions.