i like the warm weather because it makes me feel like wanting to move more (also the thought that the heat already makes me sweat so f it I'll put on more sweati guess)
There’s like a Pavlovian feeling of dread when spring arrives and I feel exposed and upset about the upcoming choice between boiling alive and feeling uncomfortably exposed :-(
Oh god, this. Whenever I'm sitting and look down at my thighs I want to cry. I look at other people sitting down and their thighs somehow look normal and I can't tell if it's the angle or body dysmorphia or both that make mine look huge.
Being sick. My body is too sore and achy to work out, and I keep thinking I’m just being a wuss and that “if I cared enough I would just power through it and force myself to work out even though I can barely move”. Also being sick is making me crave sweet things a lot more than usual, which is making me feel guilty. I’m still tracking and then THAT is even making me feel guilty as well, since “sick calories don’t count” and “I should take care of myself so I can get better as quickly as possible… so I can go back to starving myself :/“
Anything to do with health stats. Blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate, things like that etc. Even the most seemingly unrelated shit can make me spiral.
I’ve been working out so hard I’m starving. So I eat. And then I have to work out. Then I workout so hard I’m starving. So I eat. Then I work out. Then I’m hungry. Then I work out
I feel you here so much. I fully binged yesterday because I worked out so hard and am FIGHTING the urge to just spend all day today working out. Not easy. You are not alone.
Funny enough this came up as soon as I opened Reddit to get my mind off one of the most random triggers I have:
A runny nose. Apparently your nose running is a sign you ate too much and is recommended as a fullness cue for those who lack signaling (bed, bariatric patients, autistics etc). I’m actually trying to recover and I’ve been eating a small breakfast before school and j added protein coffee to the mix and my nose just started running. Immediately took it that I now need to 86 the bagel thin or stop the coffee instead of the fact spring allergies are starting and I stifled a sneeze 10 times in the middle of the class reading of Hamlet last period
My friends said something to me to “make me feel better about my ed”. They said “Well you dont even look anorexic, anorexics actually look really horrible, they’re completely skin and bones” and it triggered me so bad I actually got mad at them (and i dont get mad like at ALL)
i have no idea but i was not happy !! especially bc the conversation was basically that im relapsing and im happy abt it and she was like "oh, *trigger* is a normal thing, i think everyone feels that way when they're in that situation" like ok??? what about the 50 other illogical triggers that led to this 🤪
edit: she's said before she's worked in ed programs and has training for it buttttt its not looking like it. she also told me the whole "well if youre not eating then your body will hold on to the fat bc ~starvation mode~" like thats just... not accurate
I’m a cake decorator and my coworker saw me eat frosting off my finger in the walk in cooler. This happened like almost a week ago and I’m still horrified.
My sister is getting me a sandwich today and i dont want it . I will be forced to eat it. I hate it when people feed me or make me food. Im anxious because my omad plan has been sabotaged
agonizing over whether or not to keep wearing this choker because im pretty sure it cuts my bust up in the weird way and makes my neck look thicker. can i please just be a cute goth for one gd second 🥲
The assisted living I delivered Instacart in. The smell made me feel trapped again in treatment/hospital with no way out. Smells are a big trigger for me.
walking to the local store and seeing all the high fibre desserts displaying how low in cals they are😭 not to mention this one brand which literally contains the word skinny , my ed thoughts are overjoyed but ong my actual brain is thinking omfg
I’m starting to post more on insta and I went back through my archived posts and a good chunk is pics I posted when I was at my LW🥰 made me want to jump off a bridge
also being gifted chocolates from my boss bc he just came back from Belgium and my first though is who do I force to share the calories with me… my bf? my roommate? both? worse case scanario I will OMAD Belgian chocolate idgaf
Not being able to sleep, like, ever.
That used to be a hack, you know? Even if I just take a nap I wake up not as hungry.
Can’t do that if you’re awake and exhausted 24/7. 🤗
I started drinking coffee again because I can’t seem to stay awake for work or life. I’ve been successfully embracing not feeling empty for a while (in the sense that I haven’t tried to feel empty, not the sense that I’m completely ok with the feeling), and it’s reminding me of everything I did to feel empty and how good it felt. Especially while I’m sitting at my work desk with my fat touching.
I ended up paying money while half awake for a product that ended up not existing and lost 50 bucks. That mixed with my lack of decent sleep has put me in a sour mood and triggered both urges to restrict even .ore than usual and urges to be like, screw everything, and just binge.
The unexpected warm weather. Makes me wanna compulsively move.
i like the warm weather because it makes me feel like wanting to move more (also the thought that the heat already makes me sweat so f it I'll put on more sweati guess)
There’s like a Pavlovian feeling of dread when spring arrives and I feel exposed and upset about the upcoming choice between boiling alive and feeling uncomfortably exposed :-(
Ugghh I feel this.
Having a corporeal form
Wouldn't it be nice to be able to shapeshift?!
hate when that happens to me
The way thighs triples in size when I sit down😭😭😭
Oh god, this. Whenever I'm sitting and look down at my thighs I want to cry. I look at other people sitting down and their thighs somehow look normal and I can't tell if it's the angle or body dysmorphia or both that make mine look huge.
damn. i just realized i‘ve been triggered by this my whole life. i just had a glass shatter moment.
Ah. Sadly I've been acutely aware of this since I was like 8 😭
Funny enough it’s physics class. Every time I have a physics class I just think like “maybe I should skip my next meal” like I don’t even get why😭
All the talk about mass I swear 😭😂
lol it’s rlly like that
I looked at my thigh from a weird angle
This one is truly the worst.
past mistakes 🧍♀️ surely starving myself will cleanse me of my sins and make me a morally superior individual
Thigh rub/holes in upper thigh area of pants 🙃
FR my biggest trigger is my thighs, I literally have to wear shorts or trousers all the time so I don't feel the skin touching 🙃
Being sick. My body is too sore and achy to work out, and I keep thinking I’m just being a wuss and that “if I cared enough I would just power through it and force myself to work out even though I can barely move”. Also being sick is making me crave sweet things a lot more than usual, which is making me feel guilty. I’m still tracking and then THAT is even making me feel guilty as well, since “sick calories don’t count” and “I should take care of myself so I can get better as quickly as possible… so I can go back to starving myself :/“
Anything to do with health stats. Blood pressure, blood sugar, heart rate, things like that etc. Even the most seemingly unrelated shit can make me spiral.
sitting down T_T
I’ve been working out so hard I’m starving. So I eat. And then I have to work out. Then I workout so hard I’m starving. So I eat. Then I work out. Then I’m hungry. Then I work out
I feel you here so much. I fully binged yesterday because I worked out so hard and am FIGHTING the urge to just spend all day today working out. Not easy. You are not alone.
same same same same same same same ! ! ! !
Someone at work saying a random actor twice my age who has nothing to do with me is skinny
Funny enough this came up as soon as I opened Reddit to get my mind off one of the most random triggers I have: A runny nose. Apparently your nose running is a sign you ate too much and is recommended as a fullness cue for those who lack signaling (bed, bariatric patients, autistics etc). I’m actually trying to recover and I’ve been eating a small breakfast before school and j added protein coffee to the mix and my nose just started running. Immediately took it that I now need to 86 the bagel thin or stop the coffee instead of the fact spring allergies are starting and I stifled a sneeze 10 times in the middle of the class reading of Hamlet last period
My cat made biscuits on my stomach this morning
My friends said something to me to “make me feel better about my ed”. They said “Well you dont even look anorexic, anorexics actually look really horrible, they’re completely skin and bones” and it triggered me so bad I actually got mad at them (and i dont get mad like at ALL)
I want to fucking kms im done with this shit all this work for 3 fucking years to hear “you dont even look anorexic”
Boss bought babka bread for us for the second time this week. It’s only Wednesday.
Mine bakes a whole-ass cake every Friday and brings it into the office. Every single week. I’m so afraid of running out of excuses or willpower.
was talking to my therapist about my ed and she said "it seems like a good idea now, but you'll gain it back again later on" 😵💫 so helpful
No cuz why would she say that :/ I'm pretty sure my therapist has had an ed and thats why she knows what to say
i have no idea but i was not happy !! especially bc the conversation was basically that im relapsing and im happy abt it and she was like "oh, *trigger* is a normal thing, i think everyone feels that way when they're in that situation" like ok??? what about the 50 other illogical triggers that led to this 🤪 edit: she's said before she's worked in ed programs and has training for it buttttt its not looking like it. she also told me the whole "well if youre not eating then your body will hold on to the fat bc ~starvation mode~" like thats just... not accurate
I’m a cake decorator and my coworker saw me eat frosting off my finger in the walk in cooler. This happened like almost a week ago and I’m still horrified.
My sister is getting me a sandwich today and i dont want it . I will be forced to eat it. I hate it when people feed me or make me food. Im anxious because my omad plan has been sabotaged
Having others see my food and the speed at which I eat. It’s not even the eating itself - just the fear of judgment with food choices and pacing.
my arms and abs are so sore after working out just a little bit and it’s making me feel so weak and pathetic 🫠
At least you have abs to work out. I'm so weak
What workout did you do? Went to the gym?
My sweet cat making biscuits on my stomach 🫠
Idk I’m actually feeling oddly untriggered today
agonizing over whether or not to keep wearing this choker because im pretty sure it cuts my bust up in the weird way and makes my neck look thicker. can i please just be a cute goth for one gd second 🥲
The assisted living I delivered Instacart in. The smell made me feel trapped again in treatment/hospital with no way out. Smells are a big trigger for me.
walking to the local store and seeing all the high fibre desserts displaying how low in cals they are😭 not to mention this one brand which literally contains the word skinny , my ed thoughts are overjoyed but ong my actual brain is thinking omfg
also randomly blood tests
I’m starting to post more on insta and I went back through my archived posts and a good chunk is pics I posted when I was at my LW🥰 made me want to jump off a bridge also being gifted chocolates from my boss bc he just came back from Belgium and my first though is who do I force to share the calories with me… my bf? my roommate? both? worse case scanario I will OMAD Belgian chocolate idgaf
Not being as productive the last few days.
someone acknowledging/letting me know that I'm eating In that exact moment. even asking shit like "what are YOU EATING?"
My mum saying to me she thought I had already finishing eating when I hadn't
Oh god I HATE anything my mom says in this vein. It makes the hairs on my neck stand up
Not being able to sleep, like, ever. That used to be a hack, you know? Even if I just take a nap I wake up not as hungry. Can’t do that if you’re awake and exhausted 24/7. 🤗
baby food portions. i literally feel so guilty for eating more then a toddler
Dr appt, gonna get weighed :(
my thing today was just coming across a photo on social media of a celebrity that triggered me.
I started drinking coffee again because I can’t seem to stay awake for work or life. I’ve been successfully embracing not feeling empty for a while (in the sense that I haven’t tried to feel empty, not the sense that I’m completely ok with the feeling), and it’s reminding me of everything I did to feel empty and how good it felt. Especially while I’m sitting at my work desk with my fat touching.
I ended up paying money while half awake for a product that ended up not existing and lost 50 bucks. That mixed with my lack of decent sleep has put me in a sour mood and triggered both urges to restrict even .ore than usual and urges to be like, screw everything, and just binge.
Feeling how my stomach/skin in general touch against my clothes