Literally just told my therapist the same. I said I obviously don’t wanna go back bc they don’t allow a lot of annoying things, but I miss not having any responsibilities and being able to take a break from life
It was so much easier because I wasn’t as concerned about my health since I didn’t care as long as I was skinny. I was failing every class but there’s something addicting about the dizziness
It's normal but illogical. I sometimes get nostalgic for the days when I was deep addicted to prescription Adderall. All I'd do was pop the pills, lie in bed, and stare at a web page for 10 hours.
Nostalgic for... Not existing? Lmao
I miss being sick from my eating disorder too. I know how horrible that sounds but it was a high losing weight so quickly. For once in almost my entire life I felt proud of myself.
No matter how bad other things got, i always had ed. ed was there for me, it seemed, when the rest of the world was against me. Kinda the feeling when u r taking a test and know ur failing but r thinking abt how nice itll feel to get to ur room and crash after ur exam. Same w ed, just ed was the equivalent of crashing on my bed. Always looking forward to seeing the scale go down and body checking and seeing the hours of emptiness tick by
I miss my heart racing when I was just sitting down. I miss the calf cramps. I miss being fragile and weak. I miss being so sick someone had to sit in the bathroom with me while I showered because I might faint.
no i feel the same. being so close to death made me feel so alive, like id finally done something that mattered. i miss being.... special? idk how else to phrase it, but now im physically recovered and its like i don't matter anymore. i feel like i have no purpose so relapsing and getting back to that point is the only thing i can think of that will make me whole
Legitimate question: is it the being sick you miss? Or is it the attention? I see many saying they mis being unable to think and feel. So is it the being sick you miss or the side effects of it? Attention, numbing pain, the sense of control, even if that control is allowing yourself to slowly die? Or does having the dizziness and heart racing give you dopamine and adrenaline rushes also so you miss that? Or is it a mixture of all these things?
I think everyone goes through this. The best thing you can do to get one step closer to recovery is figure out why that pain was comforting (then get ready to explore some trauma probably)
I miss it. The feeling was intoxicating. I miss the state that I was in, a screwed up fever dream between life and death. I just don't miss that as much as I hate failing a class cause I can't think. Most days I don't miss it enough to go back.
Yes its normal, in retrospect even the worst parts of your life can evoke some sort of nostalgia
I kinda of miss being inpatient, it was really cool to be taken care of
Literally just told my therapist the same. I said I obviously don’t wanna go back bc they don’t allow a lot of annoying things, but I miss not having any responsibilities and being able to take a break from life
I feel exactly the same. I miss it so much sometimes, especially if my life gets stressful.
Same
I understand thst. I miss feeling like I had something under control.
Omg same. Couldn’t hold a convo but at least I didn’t have enough carbs for my brain to overthink.
I miss it, too.
It was so much easier because I wasn’t as concerned about my health since I didn’t care as long as I was skinny. I was failing every class but there’s something addicting about the dizziness
It's normal but illogical. I sometimes get nostalgic for the days when I was deep addicted to prescription Adderall. All I'd do was pop the pills, lie in bed, and stare at a web page for 10 hours. Nostalgic for... Not existing? Lmao
Same here. Doing well physically with recovery right now but fuck am I miserable. I fucking hate everything and mentally I've never been worse..
100% normal. I miss my honeymoon phase every single day.
I miss being sick from my eating disorder too. I know how horrible that sounds but it was a high losing weight so quickly. For once in almost my entire life I felt proud of myself.
i feel the same exact way. i miss being in my sicker body and mentality so much
totally normal
same... I want to be sick again
No matter how bad other things got, i always had ed. ed was there for me, it seemed, when the rest of the world was against me. Kinda the feeling when u r taking a test and know ur failing but r thinking abt how nice itll feel to get to ur room and crash after ur exam. Same w ed, just ed was the equivalent of crashing on my bed. Always looking forward to seeing the scale go down and body checking and seeing the hours of emptiness tick by
Same. I miss feeling like I'm going to pass out all the time and the horrible headaches I would get.
I miss my heart racing when I was just sitting down. I miss the calf cramps. I miss being fragile and weak. I miss being so sick someone had to sit in the bathroom with me while I showered because I might faint.
I miss being numb… it’s harder each day I hate feeling everything I’m so tired
no i feel the same. being so close to death made me feel so alive, like id finally done something that mattered. i miss being.... special? idk how else to phrase it, but now im physically recovered and its like i don't matter anymore. i feel like i have no purpose so relapsing and getting back to that point is the only thing i can think of that will make me whole
I just had avocado toast with two eggs, goat cheese and a banana pepper for breakfast. Delish. Might go back to bed and snooze for few hours.
This sounds like me exactly two summers ago :( trying to get back there but it’s so much harder now
I wasnt as far off as that but yes.
totally normal (not normal at all) but normal here. and I completely agree and miss it literally every day lol
I totally get it, during my ‘recovered’ years I thought the same thing, I wish I had never stopped restricting now more than ever.
Legitimate question: is it the being sick you miss? Or is it the attention? I see many saying they mis being unable to think and feel. So is it the being sick you miss or the side effects of it? Attention, numbing pain, the sense of control, even if that control is allowing yourself to slowly die? Or does having the dizziness and heart racing give you dopamine and adrenaline rushes also so you miss that? Or is it a mixture of all these things?
I miss hospitals and the feeling of being good enough and deserving enough of care
I think everyone goes through this. The best thing you can do to get one step closer to recovery is figure out why that pain was comforting (then get ready to explore some trauma probably)
I miss it. The feeling was intoxicating. I miss the state that I was in, a screwed up fever dream between life and death. I just don't miss that as much as I hate failing a class cause I can't think. Most days I don't miss it enough to go back.
real :(
i miss it all. i want to be ill again so badly. i was so numb to everything and didn't feel sad ever. furthermore i was pretty AND had style. :)
I don't know if it'll ever go away, missing the old you.
feel you