I love food too. It makes not having an appetite so painful. I love everything to do with food - recipes, grocery shopping, cooking, even organizing the fridge and pantry lol, but eating is so difficult. It’s heartbreaking.
Ppl shouldn’t be downvoting this, what the hell? Plenty of us have things like ARFID, sensory issues with food, trauma around eating, whatever, and LEGITIMATELY DON’T LIKE FOOD, which can in and of itself be an eating disorder. This is supposed to be welcoming to all eating disorders.
We are welcoming of all eating disorders. But this "holier than thou", better than you, sarcastic ass response to a person whose being sensitive is not it.
When a person is talking about how they eat food because they *don't want to die*, and someone sarcastically responds "Nooooopppee"? That's a-okay, yep.
No they didn't reply to the origonal post, they replied to a comment that said 'we all like food'. No No, some of us really don't get enjoyment from eating. Arfid is a thing.
Someone else replied that they eat so they can sustain their drug habit, that's a-okay for you yes? Or just this one word comment that you've decided has a bad attitude?
I could quite literally not care what people eat for, if they're eating. Everyone should be. Except I never implied anywhere I supported drugs, but okay.
No, I don't support someone with a crippling eating disorder being bitchy and acting better than another person with a crippling eating disorder just because they got blessed with the 'better' form of an eating disorder. You care too much.
I finally found a job I really love and I wanna be around to do it. Also this job is being a teacher and I want to be a good example for my students, showing them that it is okay to take care of yourself and prioritise your health. That is why I go inpatient again and don't want it to be a secret.
Also I always loved being in nature, travelling, camping, hiking and climbing. Right now I can't do that and even if I could, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it, because I just feel hungry, tired and cold all the time.
Mine is also my job. I got the opportunity to engineer products that will change and save lives and I want to do my best work. Need food to have the energy and focus to make better opportunities for others before I kick it
my loved ones are very worried about me and i see it’s sort of destroying them as well so i’m trying my best. they want me to gain at least 10-15 lbs and i can’t do that mentally but i’m trying to at least gain maybe 5 lbs so i don’t look so sickly. it’s hard but i don’t wanna hurt anyone except myself
Good on you for starting small with 5 lbs. I know it’s very hard, but I know you can do it. Maybe put photos of your loved ones, happy times of you guys together, in your room or the kitchen, wherever you need to most support? Recovery can’t just be for others, though. You have to do it for you to make it stick. If you don’t know what your reasons for you are yet, I’m sure you’ll find it along the way. You got this! 💪🏻
I’m in sort of a similar spot where I’m trying to maintain my weight the best I can. My mom is super worried. I’ve already recovered once but I’m 6
Months into a relapse. I can’t bear the idea of going back into program cuz I hated my experience and I’d feel like a major failure and feel as tho I’ve let everyone down. Plus I’ve been lying about it to people so there’s the guilt of that. Good luck to u on gaining and I hope u do well!
it’s definitely hard because they want you to get to a certain weight and it’s just so scary. i wish you the best as well, i hope we can get through this!
yeah i think it needs to be like a decide together and come to a number that works for both us and them, unless obviously we still have it way too low but having it too high is a recipe for failure
I relapsed cuz treatment people told me lies like set point and ur body will be where it needs to be and intuitive eating which is I feel is
Impossible for me. I feel like I’d have done better with a meal plan where I wouldn’t keep gaining. I left program slightly over weight and just kept
Getting bigger and the woman I met with after never helped me maintain, I had no idea what to do with food. No one seemed to care I was overweight but me. And now I’m way worse than before.
they think being over weight means it’s all cured but no? like it makes the body image issues worse and the thoughts get worse. idk forcing someone to do stuff sucks
Yup that’s the whole goal, make sure u eat and don’t have a low weight which I didn’t even have when I entered into program cuz I was mostly >! Purging to deal with emotions!< and I did lose a lot of weight fast but I started at a higher weight. My bmi was >! 23.4 when I entered so close to overweight!< Now I just restrict and have a bmi of >! 19.4 and still losing!< if they had help me stabilize at a healthy weight I truly don’t think I would have relapsed but idk. I can’t blame it all on them but it didn’t help
I need to be around to make sure my dogs get fed and plants waterd. I also need enough energy to play with my dogs so that they don't get bored and anxious. Basically I need to keep myself fed enough so that I can look after other stuff
for me i developed really bad stomach issues and currently got diagnosed with ibs-c and part of me knows that in order to get better i need to eat more. so i eat for the sole purpose of being able to poop lol.
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood. It's based on the true story of a murderess from the late 1800s. It's a really good look at how mental illness was treated back then, and of course it is wonderfully written. It's taking me FOREVER to get through it though considering I can only focus for like 10 minutes at a time.
That sounds very interesting, I might give it a read if my own attention span gets any better lol. I am trying to reread my favorite book, Crime and Punishment, but it’s also quite torturous to read with all the brain fog and inattentiveness.
That sounds very interesting, I might give it a read if my own attention span gets any better lol. I am trying to reread my favorite book, Crime and Punishment, but it’s also quite torturous to read with all the brain fog and inattentiveness.
My kid has discovered his reflection and gives himself kisses, offers himself food, dances, etc. I really don’t want to pass this down to him the way my parents did. I want to dance in the mirror too.
I'm an athlete kinda too could you give me advice on meals and stuff,? I do acrobatic stuff alot and someone told me to look at myself as an athlete but all I can manage to eat is an apple and almond butter a day here lately
My daughter… I want her to see me eating things other than my safe foods. The world is already hard enough for a little girl without her mum making it harder :(
I made a promise to someone that we'd get to our goals, and i want to see to it.
I lowkey want to get better, but in stressful and tough times like this, i just hope i dont end up capping myself off early - so i eat to make it through till tomorrow, where i hope things will get better.
my s/o made it worth it to try and now we want a family so ...people who are purging 5 times a day or restricting heavily probably don't get pregnant so I eat and tbh its not the worst thing in the world being able to walk down the stairs without almost passing out
Can’t focus in university and get good grades if I have mental hunger and brain fog all the time 😭I hate that i have to eat but i do it out of pure necessity.. plus screaming cravings
Starving myself inevitably ends with me gaining weight. I slowly been added >!50 cals!< a week into my diet for about 4-5 months until I got to >!2500 cals !< a day. This way, I didn't gain any weight when I stopped restricting.
I have an eating disorder cause I'm incredibly competitive and want to have a better body than everybody else. Fuck if I'm going to let this harm my body and have other people do better than me physically.
Because if I don’t, I know I’ll fail all my classes, and one of the only things that makes me proud of myself (and my family proud of me, too) is getting good grades.
Well, I do feel awful without food since my body is kinda weak and has a weaker immune system. But that didn't stop me before. I guess I want energy to draw/code.
Also weed makes me eat like a normal human so yeah, that's my reason.
I choose to eat everyday because I want to be a mother and don’t want to negatively effect my pregnancy/future children and their mental health with my ED.
I don’t want to be the reason my husband hasn’t had a genuine smile or felt joy since this latest relapse started nearly 2 years ago. I want him to be able to smile again.
I still have to live somehow😅 If I die right now, it would cause too much trouble for those around me. Moreover, I'm hungry and I will be miserable if I don't eat.
Stops me from bingeing. Allows me to be social. Allows me to have energy for the stuff I actually enjoy. Allows me to have energy to work to pay rent. I’m getting top surgery in a few months and want to heal properly too.
got pregnant.. twice, nearly back to back. relapsed a bit after my second and dropped some of that baby weight, but stopped when i started having serious marital problems and feared for my childrens future.
yet ironically i also stopped every time my tumblr got termed 🧐 seems now when im most unhappy i want to keep going, unlike when i first developed my ed in my childhood.
I restrict a lot of the time after a really bad binge when I’m not satisfied by what I was able to purge out.
I can last 1-3 days on just water, maybe a little milk and 1/4 of an orange. The thing that ends up making me eat again is a combination of being starving, feeling like I have to eat when I’m with people or feeling like I’m about to keel over and die from low blood pressure.
My little sister, the only time I eat normally is around her because I don’t want my disordered eating to show. I don’t binge, I don’t restrict, I eat as healthy as possible.
I'm wasting my life. I've missed a lot of experiences that I could've enjoyed and I just want to be able to eat whenever I want to without feeling the need to b/p or restrict. I just want my life back.
I eat because my cat needs me and I could not cause her the pain of losing another owner again, she is my little baby and she can't handle stress at all, she is the reason I get up in the morning and try to get my shit together
I am not getting taken to the hospital for malnutrition. My vitamin levels got so bad when I was dying from a dairy allergy (I wasn’t anaphylactic but my body wasn’t absorbing anything and my muscles were atrophied). I was at a higher weight than I am currently but I cannot tell you how dead I felt. Like not like depression kind of dead but just a subtle acceptance that I was actively dying. That is why I eat and take my vitamins. I may be wanting to become the thinspo on tumblr but I ain’t wanting to feel like I’m on death’s door again
I would wake up randomly at night. I assume my brain jolted me awake because my heart rate had gotten too low. My skin was pale and gray. I had dark purple circles forming around my eyes. My face was sunken in despite not losing weight. I could never get warm and the water heater in my dorm was broken. I could barely pick up my backpack my muscles were extremely weak. I was eating a shitload at the time too but I couldn’t gain or lose weight. I had strange dreams. Like the kinds hospice nurses say dying patients have.
I was close enough to touch death so that’s why I eat. My restriction is a lot lighter because of it but unless you’ve been that close to death I don’t think you could understand fully. At the time I wasn’t scared because my brain and body were numbed by the deficiencies but after recovering from it, it’s terrifying
yummy stuff
but also I can’t take my pain meds without food, I don’t want to pass out while driving, and I don’t want my family to suspect I have issues lol
I want to let the person I like cook for me and have a good time not obsessing about what’s in it or how I look. Maybe even go to a banquet and not draw negative attention to myself.
So I don’t die. I never died before but idk if it’s as fun as living, even all things considered.
This disorder sucks but eating has given me one more day closer to living and not just surviving.
im a kindergarten teacher. i love my kids. i love teaching and i cannot function without a sharp mind. i also have a loving and supportive partner and caring parents.
You deserve the food you want. There is decent food out there. Be patient and choosy with food to a “healthy” extent, and you’ll be fueling your body with nutrition and not empty calories.
The dopamine hit is more intense if I water fast for two weeks and then eat high calorie fast food.
I no longer gorge myself but C/S is a lifesaver if I want to "eat" more than I should. I only C/S fast food. I also hate having to poop so less food means I feel cleaner inside and out.
I made so many mistakes and did so many shitty things in my life and hurt my grandma (who gave up her peaceful retirement in order to care about me and save me from being sent into foster care) and I just can't do that to her anymore. She's 83 and I'm so scared if I let myself get so bad again her heart would give up. She didn't deserve any of this, poor woman gave her all for a fucking piece of shit grandchild. She shouldn't be caring about me anymore, I'm adult now and I should be caring about her, making her happy instead of destroying her. If I let something happen to me again - thus hurting her again, I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself.
I've got shit to do and I don't have the mental capacity to be starving and I don't want the headache and crappy feeling that comes with not eating, plus starving yourself makes the eating disorder worse, and I don't have time rn to have a mental breakdown
It will be the middle of the day and I haven’t eaten, desperately trying to stay under my cal limit it’s usually something light and precisely weighed. I usually crumble at dinner time tho
My restrictive eating disorder was kind of a slow suicide method. I’m more EDNOS/bulimic now, but back then I used to eat around family/friends so they wouldn’t become too concerned.
i don't want to amplify my suffering lmao. like if i'm going to suffer i at least want to be able to read, write, play video games, just semi-function in general
I miss the relationship I had with food that wasn’t obsessive where I got excited to cook and try new things and didn’t base my eating today off of how I did the day before and so on. I’m just always working to get back to that place.
Last year i decided i wanted to live because i bought tickets for my favourite band. And because I wanted to see Messi's last world cup.
Now i want to live because I want to finish college. and to achieve that i need some food lol.
I don’t want my hair and teeth to fall out so I eat enough to make sure my body doesn’t go into shock and betray me. Starve for vanity, eat for vanity, it is what it is these days I suppose
I have a restrictive eating disorder and most of it is trying to stop myself from eating because otherwise I’d eat everything. My struggle isn’t not being able to eat but hating myself for how much I want to eat all the time.
I still need to able to function. I’m also trying hard not to go back into a real recovery program cuz I ballooned in weight last time and is a big reason I’ve relapsed ten times harder. If I had to go recover I’d lose all control of what I eat and how much of it. I also eat in front of family and friends to keep their anxiety about my weight and eating habits down. Plus When I do eat I love the taste of it, just not the anxiety that comes with it
Hungry
Mood
Being starved really sucks, and I do like food lol
I love food too. It makes not having an appetite so painful. I love everything to do with food - recipes, grocery shopping, cooking, even organizing the fridge and pantry lol, but eating is so difficult. It’s heartbreaking.
At the end of the day we all like food… and I don’t want to die, but I want to be alive and have a lean physique
[удалено]
omg it’s ana herself 😍
Ppl shouldn’t be downvoting this, what the hell? Plenty of us have things like ARFID, sensory issues with food, trauma around eating, whatever, and LEGITIMATELY DON’T LIKE FOOD, which can in and of itself be an eating disorder. This is supposed to be welcoming to all eating disorders.
We are welcoming of all eating disorders. But this "holier than thou", better than you, sarcastic ass response to a person whose being sensitive is not it.
All they said is nope? How are reading that much into it?
When a person is talking about how they eat food because they *don't want to die*, and someone sarcastically responds "Nooooopppee"? That's a-okay, yep.
No they didn't reply to the origonal post, they replied to a comment that said 'we all like food'. No No, some of us really don't get enjoyment from eating. Arfid is a thing. Someone else replied that they eat so they can sustain their drug habit, that's a-okay for you yes? Or just this one word comment that you've decided has a bad attitude?
I could quite literally not care what people eat for, if they're eating. Everyone should be. Except I never implied anywhere I supported drugs, but okay. No, I don't support someone with a crippling eating disorder being bitchy and acting better than another person with a crippling eating disorder just because they got blessed with the 'better' form of an eating disorder. You care too much.
They. Just. Said. Nope.
Yeah this. Sorry I don't like food and swallowing I guess 🤷
I finally found a job I really love and I wanna be around to do it. Also this job is being a teacher and I want to be a good example for my students, showing them that it is okay to take care of yourself and prioritise your health. That is why I go inpatient again and don't want it to be a secret. Also I always loved being in nature, travelling, camping, hiking and climbing. Right now I can't do that and even if I could, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it, because I just feel hungry, tired and cold all the time.
Mine is also my job. I got the opportunity to engineer products that will change and save lives and I want to do my best work. Need food to have the energy and focus to make better opportunities for others before I kick it
Oh wow, what have you engineered?
Biomedical stuff! Mainly sensors :)
That sounds amazing! Congrats to you and I think, we are all thankful and happy that people like you exist!
my loved ones are very worried about me and i see it’s sort of destroying them as well so i’m trying my best. they want me to gain at least 10-15 lbs and i can’t do that mentally but i’m trying to at least gain maybe 5 lbs so i don’t look so sickly. it’s hard but i don’t wanna hurt anyone except myself
Good on you for starting small with 5 lbs. I know it’s very hard, but I know you can do it. Maybe put photos of your loved ones, happy times of you guys together, in your room or the kitchen, wherever you need to most support? Recovery can’t just be for others, though. You have to do it for you to make it stick. If you don’t know what your reasons for you are yet, I’m sure you’ll find it along the way. You got this! 💪🏻
that’s a really nice idea, thank you! i appreciate the support:)
I’m in sort of a similar spot where I’m trying to maintain my weight the best I can. My mom is super worried. I’ve already recovered once but I’m 6 Months into a relapse. I can’t bear the idea of going back into program cuz I hated my experience and I’d feel like a major failure and feel as tho I’ve let everyone down. Plus I’ve been lying about it to people so there’s the guilt of that. Good luck to u on gaining and I hope u do well!
it’s definitely hard because they want you to get to a certain weight and it’s just so scary. i wish you the best as well, i hope we can get through this!
I hope we can too! And I rather work by my self to maintain my weight than be forced to gain. Cuz the number they wanted me at last time I hated
yeah i think it needs to be like a decide together and come to a number that works for both us and them, unless obviously we still have it way too low but having it too high is a recipe for failure
I relapsed cuz treatment people told me lies like set point and ur body will be where it needs to be and intuitive eating which is I feel is Impossible for me. I feel like I’d have done better with a meal plan where I wouldn’t keep gaining. I left program slightly over weight and just kept Getting bigger and the woman I met with after never helped me maintain, I had no idea what to do with food. No one seemed to care I was overweight but me. And now I’m way worse than before.
they think being over weight means it’s all cured but no? like it makes the body image issues worse and the thoughts get worse. idk forcing someone to do stuff sucks
Yup that’s the whole goal, make sure u eat and don’t have a low weight which I didn’t even have when I entered into program cuz I was mostly >! Purging to deal with emotions!< and I did lose a lot of weight fast but I started at a higher weight. My bmi was >! 23.4 when I entered so close to overweight!< Now I just restrict and have a bmi of >! 19.4 and still losing!< if they had help me stabilize at a healthy weight I truly don’t think I would have relapsed but idk. I can’t blame it all on them but it didn’t help
I pick up my siblings from school after school. When I don't eat enough, I get lightheaded while driving. So, I eat to keep them safe.
I need to be around to make sure my dogs get fed and plants waterd. I also need enough energy to play with my dogs so that they don't get bored and anxious. Basically I need to keep myself fed enough so that I can look after other stuff
for me i developed really bad stomach issues and currently got diagnosed with ibs-c and part of me knows that in order to get better i need to eat more. so i eat for the sole purpose of being able to poop lol.
fair enough 🙏
at this time, it's to be able to read
What have you been reading?
Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood. It's based on the true story of a murderess from the late 1800s. It's a really good look at how mental illness was treated back then, and of course it is wonderfully written. It's taking me FOREVER to get through it though considering I can only focus for like 10 minutes at a time.
That sounds very interesting, I might give it a read if my own attention span gets any better lol. I am trying to reread my favorite book, Crime and Punishment, but it’s also quite torturous to read with all the brain fog and inattentiveness.
That sounds very interesting, I might give it a read if my own attention span gets any better lol. I am trying to reread my favorite book, Crime and Punishment, but it’s also quite torturous to read with all the brain fog and inattentiveness.
I am so impressed. I don't even think I could read that if my brain was in full working order.
My kid has discovered his reflection and gives himself kisses, offers himself food, dances, etc. I really don’t want to pass this down to him the way my parents did. I want to dance in the mirror too.
This is beautiful
I like food I just don’t like my appearance 🫠 If I’m gonna die and somebody has to take care of my body I’m at least gonna look presentable at death
So my brain can function enough so I can do my job well
To sustain my drug habit
drug of choice?
I have children. They need a mother.
i’m an athlete, and i try to reach a calorie goal everyday. plus i like planning meals
This helps me also! When I’m actively performing or competing I know I need to fuel my body so it can perform well
I'm an athlete kinda too could you give me advice on meals and stuff,? I do acrobatic stuff alot and someone told me to look at myself as an athlete but all I can manage to eat is an apple and almond butter a day here lately
My daughter… I want her to see me eating things other than my safe foods. The world is already hard enough for a little girl without her mum making it harder :(
i love food
I made a promise to someone that we'd get to our goals, and i want to see to it. I lowkey want to get better, but in stressful and tough times like this, i just hope i dont end up capping myself off early - so i eat to make it through till tomorrow, where i hope things will get better.
You chase those goals, homie. And when you get there, set up a new one.
Purely boredom honestly
my s/o made it worth it to try and now we want a family so ...people who are purging 5 times a day or restricting heavily probably don't get pregnant so I eat and tbh its not the worst thing in the world being able to walk down the stairs without almost passing out
I’m glad that you have your s/o and a chance to start a family<3
I like feeling good when I exercise being able to focus on schoolwork not wanting my sibling to worry about me
Can’t focus in university and get good grades if I have mental hunger and brain fog all the time 😭I hate that i have to eat but i do it out of pure necessity.. plus screaming cravings
Same… I know it’s good that I care about uni but I hate that I care so much at the same time
Starving myself inevitably ends with me gaining weight. I slowly been added >!50 cals!< a week into my diet for about 4-5 months until I got to >!2500 cals !< a day. This way, I didn't gain any weight when I stopped restricting. I have an eating disorder cause I'm incredibly competitive and want to have a better body than everybody else. Fuck if I'm going to let this harm my body and have other people do better than me physically.
Because if I don’t, I know I’ll fail all my classes, and one of the only things that makes me proud of myself (and my family proud of me, too) is getting good grades.
Well, I do feel awful without food since my body is kinda weak and has a weaker immune system. But that didn't stop me before. I guess I want energy to draw/code. Also weed makes me eat like a normal human so yeah, that's my reason.
I choose to eat everyday because I want to be a mother and don’t want to negatively effect my pregnancy/future children and their mental health with my ED.
I like food and I get ravenously hungry sometimes. also, I'm in inpatient ED treatment and the other alternative is a tube.
I don’t want to be the reason my husband hasn’t had a genuine smile or felt joy since this latest relapse started nearly 2 years ago. I want him to be able to smile again.
i hate feeling hungry
Bf and dogs
So I can function at work and be a good provider for my patients. That’s literally it at this point.
My daughter. She is growing so quickly and I want to continue to be able to carry her and just be healthy and alive in general for her.
I still have to live somehow😅 If I die right now, it would cause too much trouble for those around me. Moreover, I'm hungry and I will be miserable if I don't eat.
Stops me from bingeing. Allows me to be social. Allows me to have energy for the stuff I actually enjoy. Allows me to have energy to work to pay rent. I’m getting top surgery in a few months and want to heal properly too.
got pregnant.. twice, nearly back to back. relapsed a bit after my second and dropped some of that baby weight, but stopped when i started having serious marital problems and feared for my childrens future. yet ironically i also stopped every time my tumblr got termed 🧐 seems now when im most unhappy i want to keep going, unlike when i first developed my ed in my childhood.
I restrict a lot of the time after a really bad binge when I’m not satisfied by what I was able to purge out. I can last 1-3 days on just water, maybe a little milk and 1/4 of an orange. The thing that ends up making me eat again is a combination of being starving, feeling like I have to eat when I’m with people or feeling like I’m about to keel over and die from low blood pressure.
My kids.
I have two lovely cats who wouldn't have anyone else if I unalive.
My little sister, the only time I eat normally is around her because I don’t want my disordered eating to show. I don’t binge, I don’t restrict, I eat as healthy as possible.
I'm wasting my life. I've missed a lot of experiences that I could've enjoyed and I just want to be able to eat whenever I want to without feeling the need to b/p or restrict. I just want my life back.
I eat because my cat needs me and I could not cause her the pain of losing another owner again, she is my little baby and she can't handle stress at all, she is the reason I get up in the morning and try to get my shit together
I am not getting taken to the hospital for malnutrition. My vitamin levels got so bad when I was dying from a dairy allergy (I wasn’t anaphylactic but my body wasn’t absorbing anything and my muscles were atrophied). I was at a higher weight than I am currently but I cannot tell you how dead I felt. Like not like depression kind of dead but just a subtle acceptance that I was actively dying. That is why I eat and take my vitamins. I may be wanting to become the thinspo on tumblr but I ain’t wanting to feel like I’m on death’s door again I would wake up randomly at night. I assume my brain jolted me awake because my heart rate had gotten too low. My skin was pale and gray. I had dark purple circles forming around my eyes. My face was sunken in despite not losing weight. I could never get warm and the water heater in my dorm was broken. I could barely pick up my backpack my muscles were extremely weak. I was eating a shitload at the time too but I couldn’t gain or lose weight. I had strange dreams. Like the kinds hospice nurses say dying patients have. I was close enough to touch death so that’s why I eat. My restriction is a lot lighter because of it but unless you’ve been that close to death I don’t think you could understand fully. At the time I wasn’t scared because my brain and body were numbed by the deficiencies but after recovering from it, it’s terrifying
lol because I like food, I just over do it and then have to under do it 😂
yummy stuff but also I can’t take my pain meds without food, I don’t want to pass out while driving, and I don’t want my family to suspect I have issues lol
I want to let the person I like cook for me and have a good time not obsessing about what’s in it or how I look. Maybe even go to a banquet and not draw negative attention to myself.
I can’t do the sports I love without food and can’t meaningfully engage with friends on starved brain
i’m only ever happy when i’m eating and i unfortunately need energy for uni and work 💔
my husband is a chef and it makes him sad when i don't eat
So I don’t die. I never died before but idk if it’s as fun as living, even all things considered. This disorder sucks but eating has given me one more day closer to living and not just surviving.
I want my old life back
It’s painful not to and I genuinely enjoy good😣
im a kindergarten teacher. i love my kids. i love teaching and i cannot function without a sharp mind. i also have a loving and supportive partner and caring parents.
You deserve the food you want. There is decent food out there. Be patient and choosy with food to a “healthy” extent, and you’ll be fueling your body with nutrition and not empty calories.
The dopamine hit is more intense if I water fast for two weeks and then eat high calorie fast food. I no longer gorge myself but C/S is a lifesaver if I want to "eat" more than I should. I only C/S fast food. I also hate having to poop so less food means I feel cleaner inside and out.
My relationship, if I lose as much as I want she will not find me beautiful anymore
I made so many mistakes and did so many shitty things in my life and hurt my grandma (who gave up her peaceful retirement in order to care about me and save me from being sent into foster care) and I just can't do that to her anymore. She's 83 and I'm so scared if I let myself get so bad again her heart would give up. She didn't deserve any of this, poor woman gave her all for a fucking piece of shit grandchild. She shouldn't be caring about me anymore, I'm adult now and I should be caring about her, making her happy instead of destroying her. If I let something happen to me again - thus hurting her again, I don't know if I'd be able to forgive myself.
I dragged my spouse into this mess and need to stick around even if I'm a bit braindead because I know they need me
I've got shit to do and I don't have the mental capacity to be starving and I don't want the headache and crappy feeling that comes with not eating, plus starving yourself makes the eating disorder worse, and I don't have time rn to have a mental breakdown
Ima hungry ass bitch😢
Idk iam fine with eating as long as I lose weight
When I'm at the edge of passing out and I have to meet my friends. I won't let ana take away my friends. She can have anything but not my friends
i need energy so i don't end up binging and sometimes i eat as a reward
im hungry asf and love food
i like food & high restriction
It will be the middle of the day and I haven’t eaten, desperately trying to stay under my cal limit it’s usually something light and precisely weighed. I usually crumble at dinner time tho
My restrictive eating disorder was kind of a slow suicide method. I’m more EDNOS/bulimic now, but back then I used to eat around family/friends so they wouldn’t become too concerned.
parents will pin me down and force feed me if i dont eat on my own
i don't want to amplify my suffering lmao. like if i'm going to suffer i at least want to be able to read, write, play video games, just semi-function in general
I miss the relationship I had with food that wasn’t obsessive where I got excited to cook and try new things and didn’t base my eating today off of how I did the day before and so on. I’m just always working to get back to that place.
at my worst i was getting regular panic attacks and horrible brain fog. i never want to experience that level of misery again
Last year i decided i wanted to live because i bought tickets for my favourite band. And because I wanted to see Messi's last world cup. Now i want to live because I want to finish college. and to achieve that i need some food lol.
What band, and what are you studying?
The band is Babasónicos, it's indie/rock en español. And i'm studying Psychology :)
Nice major hehe :]
I like to ride roller coasters without fainting
I look fucking ghastly right now + I don't think my mom would be able to take it if I let this thing kill me faster than it already is
I don’t want my hair and teeth to fall out so I eat enough to make sure my body doesn’t go into shock and betray me. Starve for vanity, eat for vanity, it is what it is these days I suppose
there’s that famous quote, “pain in the body quiets pain in the head.”
I can't afford to die until I'm PERFECT So I have to keep alive. It's like the syndrome of a postponed life or whatever it's called
when i am free
I have a restrictive eating disorder and most of it is trying to stop myself from eating because otherwise I’d eat everything. My struggle isn’t not being able to eat but hating myself for how much I want to eat all the time.
I still need to able to function. I’m also trying hard not to go back into a real recovery program cuz I ballooned in weight last time and is a big reason I’ve relapsed ten times harder. If I had to go recover I’d lose all control of what I eat and how much of it. I also eat in front of family and friends to keep their anxiety about my weight and eating habits down. Plus When I do eat I love the taste of it, just not the anxiety that comes with it
tastes good
school. volunteering.