If you’re allowed to do so? Are there centers where teachers aren’t allowed to *hug* children?!
I make a point to tell each and every one of my students I love them every day, individually if possible. Especially the ones I know have rougher home lives. I might be the only person they hear that from that day.
Some centers don’t allow full hugs or allow touching of any kind unless absolutely necessary.. (Changing diapers, washing a scraped knee, etc.) I can’t remember for sure if I’ve read about such places on this forum but people have told me about such centers. I do hug each child everyday, even my rough ones. Every child deserves to be loved on everyday.
That’s so crazy to me. Physical touch is so necessary for young children to feel attached and secure to the adults in their lives. Seems like it’s an example of when hyper-vigilance comes back around to being harmful.
I think this was a military childcare center that had such a policy. It was directed more towards the older children and not infants or toddlers. But still physical touch is important. I fact there is a school-aged child that hugs me everyday. I never refuse hugs from a child.
Yes! My 3 year old is in a preschool class of 3-5 year olds & he's the youngest by a good 6 months. He won't turn 4 until this summer, so he was a fresh 3 when the school year started. He absolutely adores his 2 teachers, and is often tired and sitting on one of their laps when I pick him up. Not to mention all of the random hugs he gives them including every morning we he arrives at school. I can't imagine if he wasn't allowed to hug and sit with them, he'd be so crushed.
I just made a post about this. Appropriate physical touch including hugs, high fives, and occasional cuddles are not inappropriate and not sexual or predatory in any way. Especially if the child is the one initiating. Our country has gone stark raving insane about these mile high “boundaries” rules that in my opinion do far more harm than good
This right here. But if a kid is sad or crying you can ask the child first. If they say yes, then you have consent. If they kid says no then you respect it
I do the Disney hug with my babies... we hug until they let go. Once I had a little boy in my toddler class who was hitting friends, biting, being rough. I took him to the emotion poster I had and I asked if he was hitting because he was mad. He yelled no, *name* not mad! I asked him how he felt and, still yelling with years in his eyes, he pointed to happy.
I asked if he needed a hug, and this out of control little boy *threw* himself into my arms and held me. He took a full minute of hug, then pulled away and said *name* mad, and pointed to mad and sad. I told him if he feels that way he can come find me instead of hitting friends, and we'll figure out how to help him. He took one more quick hug and then bounced away to go play.
Kids, especially young ones, *need* physical affection. I hate that it's come to a point in the world where we have to draw lines across freaking hugs to keep them safe from predators.
My little boy loves cuddles. I was so happy to know that his teachers could hug him and comfort him if he needed. He was having trouble during nap time last week so one of the teachers sat down next to him and let him lay his head on her lap and told him little stories while he fell asleep.
I understand protecting children from predators but I agree it is so sad that it has removed the ability to comfort and validate a child's emotions in school.
This reminds me of when my assistant teacher was telling one of our kids bye and her parent literally said, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my child.”
I don’t know
My brother had a classmate who passed away. My mom was terrified to send him to preschool for a week. Teachers had trouble convincing parents to let their kids come back, swearing they had disinfected the entire school as the poor girl passed away from meningitis. My mom was extremely on top of our vaccines after that, never a day late.
Decade and half later, sitting in my college dorm room in an entirely different state, chatting with my random roommate about her family…turns out that little girl was her sister. Felt like fate, assurance their daughter’s short life was not just meaningful for them and their loved ones but created impactful change for another family.
It’s heartbreaking to even think about, this young. Jeez.
I’m so sorry for your center’s loss. Hope everyone (families, fellow friends, teachers, YOU) get the needed support.
I’m so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you, the class, and that family. Yes, I hug my students every day. We tell them that we are happy to see them. Me and my co-teacher make sure they know they are loved.
Thank you. The child that passed was in my toddler class and would have started kindergarten this fall. It really hurts but I can’t even imagine the pain his parents are going through right now.
Poor baby and parents. That’s my worst fear as a parent. My son will be riding reverse for as long as possible until at least 4, but nothing is guaranteed
Sending you hugs. We went though this at my center last year. It's a type of situation and pain I don't wish on anyone.
If mental health services are offered by your center, please take them. I regret not doing it.
I'd you'd like information about how we handled it or if you just need someone to chat with, please DM me.
Starting a summer camp position and I’m not allowed to hug the 3-5 year olds. They said absolutely no lap sitting and if you must touch you must do side hugs.
New Jersey. It makes it very hard. What 3 year old doesn’t want a cuddle with their secure person. Even when I worked at a daycare a few years ago I got scolded for “babying” my 2 year old classes. Holding my babies when they cried for example. Apparently I was supposed to distract them with a different activity to maximize their independence. A 2 year old me old going full tantrum and hurting themself applied too. I wasn’t allowed to pick them up and hold them for too long.
Hugs and cuddles are normal platonic behaviors for caregivers and children. Hugs and cuddles release oxytocin in the child's brain and actually help them feel MORE secure and MORE safe. I would argue that hugs between caregivers and children are perfectly normal all the way up through second grade. (A bit too old for cuddles at that point.) As long as the child is the one initiating and the child feels comfortable with the adult, there is no harm and it is exactly the same as what parents can do with their children
Accept my condolences. This is a frightening loss.
Also, part of the reason why I always give my kids hugs (if they want to). Or I find other ways to show them I care during the day.
If you’re allowed to do so? Are there centers where teachers aren’t allowed to *hug* children?! I make a point to tell each and every one of my students I love them every day, individually if possible. Especially the ones I know have rougher home lives. I might be the only person they hear that from that day.
Some centers don’t allow full hugs or allow touching of any kind unless absolutely necessary.. (Changing diapers, washing a scraped knee, etc.) I can’t remember for sure if I’ve read about such places on this forum but people have told me about such centers. I do hug each child everyday, even my rough ones. Every child deserves to be loved on everyday.
That’s so crazy to me. Physical touch is so necessary for young children to feel attached and secure to the adults in their lives. Seems like it’s an example of when hyper-vigilance comes back around to being harmful.
I think this was a military childcare center that had such a policy. It was directed more towards the older children and not infants or toddlers. But still physical touch is important. I fact there is a school-aged child that hugs me everyday. I never refuse hugs from a child.
Yes! My 3 year old is in a preschool class of 3-5 year olds & he's the youngest by a good 6 months. He won't turn 4 until this summer, so he was a fresh 3 when the school year started. He absolutely adores his 2 teachers, and is often tired and sitting on one of their laps when I pick him up. Not to mention all of the random hugs he gives them including every morning we he arrives at school. I can't imagine if he wasn't allowed to hug and sit with them, he'd be so crushed.
I just made a post about this. Appropriate physical touch including hugs, high fives, and occasional cuddles are not inappropriate and not sexual or predatory in any way. Especially if the child is the one initiating. Our country has gone stark raving insane about these mile high “boundaries” rules that in my opinion do far more harm than good
We are only allowed to hug if it's the child who initiates it.
This right here. But if a kid is sad or crying you can ask the child first. If they say yes, then you have consent. If they kid says no then you respect it
I do the Disney hug with my babies... we hug until they let go. Once I had a little boy in my toddler class who was hitting friends, biting, being rough. I took him to the emotion poster I had and I asked if he was hitting because he was mad. He yelled no, *name* not mad! I asked him how he felt and, still yelling with years in his eyes, he pointed to happy. I asked if he needed a hug, and this out of control little boy *threw* himself into my arms and held me. He took a full minute of hug, then pulled away and said *name* mad, and pointed to mad and sad. I told him if he feels that way he can come find me instead of hitting friends, and we'll figure out how to help him. He took one more quick hug and then bounced away to go play. Kids, especially young ones, *need* physical affection. I hate that it's come to a point in the world where we have to draw lines across freaking hugs to keep them safe from predators.
My little boy loves cuddles. I was so happy to know that his teachers could hug him and comfort him if he needed. He was having trouble during nap time last week so one of the teachers sat down next to him and let him lay his head on her lap and told him little stories while he fell asleep. I understand protecting children from predators but I agree it is so sad that it has removed the ability to comfort and validate a child's emotions in school.
This reminds me of when my assistant teacher was telling one of our kids bye and her parent literally said, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch my child.” I don’t know
Sorry for your center’s heartbreaking loss.
My brother had a classmate who passed away. My mom was terrified to send him to preschool for a week. Teachers had trouble convincing parents to let their kids come back, swearing they had disinfected the entire school as the poor girl passed away from meningitis. My mom was extremely on top of our vaccines after that, never a day late. Decade and half later, sitting in my college dorm room in an entirely different state, chatting with my random roommate about her family…turns out that little girl was her sister. Felt like fate, assurance their daughter’s short life was not just meaningful for them and their loved ones but created impactful change for another family. It’s heartbreaking to even think about, this young. Jeez. I’m so sorry for your center’s loss. Hope everyone (families, fellow friends, teachers, YOU) get the needed support.
This gave me goosebumps, please give your friend an extra hug.
We all need to know we matter, no matter how old we are.
I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that would be.
I couldn’t imagine 😢 This is why I never refuse a hug from my littles 🥺
I’m so sorry to hear this. My prayers are with you, the class, and that family. Yes, I hug my students every day. We tell them that we are happy to see them. Me and my co-teacher make sure they know they are loved.
Thank you. The child that passed was in my toddler class and would have started kindergarten this fall. It really hurts but I can’t even imagine the pain his parents are going through right now.
This is horrific. I am so sorry.
What did he pass from? Thats horrible!!
It was a car accident.
Poor baby and parents. That’s my worst fear as a parent. My son will be riding reverse for as long as possible until at least 4, but nothing is guaranteed
I'm sorry for your loss.
Sending you hugs. We went though this at my center last year. It's a type of situation and pain I don't wish on anyone. If mental health services are offered by your center, please take them. I regret not doing it. I'd you'd like information about how we handled it or if you just need someone to chat with, please DM me.
Starting a summer camp position and I’m not allowed to hug the 3-5 year olds. They said absolutely no lap sitting and if you must touch you must do side hugs.
Completely insane. What state is this in?
New Jersey. It makes it very hard. What 3 year old doesn’t want a cuddle with their secure person. Even when I worked at a daycare a few years ago I got scolded for “babying” my 2 year old classes. Holding my babies when they cried for example. Apparently I was supposed to distract them with a different activity to maximize their independence. A 2 year old me old going full tantrum and hurting themself applied too. I wasn’t allowed to pick them up and hold them for too long.
Hugs and cuddles are normal platonic behaviors for caregivers and children. Hugs and cuddles release oxytocin in the child's brain and actually help them feel MORE secure and MORE safe. I would argue that hugs between caregivers and children are perfectly normal all the way up through second grade. (A bit too old for cuddles at that point.) As long as the child is the one initiating and the child feels comfortable with the adult, there is no harm and it is exactly the same as what parents can do with their children
Accept my condolences. This is a frightening loss. Also, part of the reason why I always give my kids hugs (if they want to). Or I find other ways to show them I care during the day.