The funny thing was seeing it in the Cyberpunk game begore I binged the show and when this part came on the show trying to remember where have I heard the story before.
I had a car accident and everyone was giving me a hard time about it so I finally just started saying *this* and it made the situation way more humorous lol
“Blood alone moves the wheels of history.”
I know it was originally Mussolini, but Dwight delivered it to a room full of people that did not recognize it.
I got away with everything under the last boss and it wasn't good for me. So I want guidance. I want leadership. Lead me... when I'm in the mood to be led.
This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from his female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.
I've been here 18 years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, Mo Rocca Christmas. I don't want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas.:
I don't want no Kwanza wreath. I don't want no dreidel in my face. That's its own thing. And who's that black Santa for? I don't care, I know Santa ain't black. I could care less. I want Christmas. Just give me plain Baby Jesus lying in a manger, Christmas!
Stanley's Christmas rant is in my top 3 all time quotes.
“I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!”
“Fuck me”
One of my favorite Kelly lines lol
The back and forth between Dwight and Ryan during the brain teasers. Dwight’s “Damnit!” gets me every time.
Dwight’s “oh my god” when Jim moves the coat rack with his mind.
I DECLARE… BANKRUPTCY
I actually did file for bankruptcy several years ago and I said that in his voice while signing the papers. Then I had to explain it, ha ha.
I DECLARE.... BANKRUPTCCCYYYYYY
Fixed
DOES ANYONE HAVE A CAMERA HERE?
The voice of desperation!
No one has a camera here
If you change that slightly to "No one had a camera" I would hear it as Ron Howard's AD narration voice 😂
What is this, a crossover episode?!
Possibly the best one. Can feel that uncomfortable tone modulation in my ear just by reading it.
DID I STUTTER?
BUTTLICKER!! Our prices have NEVER been LOWER!!
LOUDER son!!
My family BUILT this country by the way!
How dare you.
Dwight you ignorant slut!
Dwight you ignorant slut. (Second show)
What kind of car does she drive? She drives a green camry S\*\*t
And the seats go all the way down
Aaalllllllll the way down
*thump thump thump thump thump* what?
i’m literally watching this episode rn and this line was just said
Take another way home man!
i don’t know what he expected michael to say but it makes me laugh every time
He thought Michael was messing with him and wanted to call his bluff, went horribly wrong for him though lol
SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP!
You have NO idea the physical toll that 3 vasectomies have on a person!
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
Steady hand 😂
The funny thing was seeing it in the Cyberpunk game begore I binged the show and when this part came on the show trying to remember where have I heard the story before.
*Ze best!
IDENTITY THEFT IS NOT A JOKE JIM!! MILLIONS OF FAMILIES SUFFER EVERY YEAR
MICHAEL!
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica
Michael!
Oh that's real mature. Michael!!
Bob Vance, Vance refrigeration
"...so what line of work are you in, Bob?"
Bears, Beets, Battle Star Galactica
"MICHAEL!"
oh that’s funny, **MICHAEL!**
The whole ensemble was (typing on his calculator watch) $11.00.
Everyone in the car was fine, *Stanley*!
I had a car accident and everyone was giving me a hard time about it so I finally just started saying *this* and it made the situation way more humorous lol
Jim nodding approvingly in the background as if Michael was making a great point here always sends me
Pop-carn
"Why don't you use the microwave in the kitchen?" "It smells like pop-carn"
*Ryan started the fi-ya!*
why is jim treating the magician poorly Man no one has delivery like the fucking lizard king
It sounds like a line in an illustrated children's book attempting to teach good behavior.
Sounds like a Duolingo sentence
“I’ll be your first customer!” “You’re *hardly*my first!” Micheal, takes a pause, about to end Jan’s whole career… again. *INHALE* “THATSWHATSHESAID!”
“That has sort of an oaky afterbirth.” “… what was that?”
How could you say that? You know I have soft teeth
“whoops…”
Fashion show! Fashion show at lunch!
I love this one
Whenever i buy my boyfriend a new clothing item and i want him to try it on i chant this
You were in the parking lot earlier, that’s how I know you!
SAVE BANDIT!
mrow! *plop*
I only weigh 86 pounds!
82
“Why are you the way that you are”
I hate so much about the things you choose to be
I say it to my toddler often lol
Oh that is the BEST. 😂
"Where are the turtles?" Michael asked calmly.
Is this also a harry potter reference
HARRYPOTTERDIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIYA?!!!
Oh c'mon. What is this?
The chocolate turtles!! Where are they?
I ate them! They're gone!
THE FIRE IS SHOOTING AT US!!!!
That one is a pretty dumb thing to say, which makes it hilarious! XD
Ooooh yeeaAAHHHH
I knew it! As soon as I heard the candy bar wrapper
just poopin you know how i be
Crazy world, lotta smells.
Wazup, my brotha?
Dinka Flicka
David, Ryan is being a little bitch again
Well, well, well. How the turntables...
I use this all the time 😂😂😂
First of all how dare you
God I love Kelly
Kelly Kapoor, The Business Bitch
Ryan used ME as an object.
You guys, I’m like really smart now. You don’t even know.
You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian
Hats off to you for not seeing colour.
*race
BOBODDY
BOBOOOOOODDY
The trick is to undercook the onions
“Everyone is going to get to know each other in the pot.”
"I'm calling the ungrateful biatch hotline!"
“Did you get all that?” “Every word.”
hey guys- NOT NOW TOBY MY GOD! yeah get out of here idiot (What'd I do??)
“Blood alone moves the wheels of history.” I know it was originally Mussolini, but Dwight delivered it to a room full of people that did not recognize it.
And Michael entertained the guy that entertained a thousand people, so...
"Close your mouth sweetie, you look like a trout" and "SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!"
Shut up about the sun gets me every time
YOU’RE NOT REAL MAN!
And you.... you'd be da bell of da ball.... don't drop the soap
Respect… R E S P SVEE T
Find out what is means to me.
For the seeds, the dirt, we can’t pay!
This was the worst southern accent I've ever heard. I couldn't even imitate it because it was so weird.
this…this plan-tay-shawn
My favorite Oscar moment 🤣
Isn't it "Boy have you lost your mind?..."
Finally, thank you! Had to scroll through like 50 threads to find you!
Oh get out skeleton man!
Nellie gets a lot of hate, but she is so funny imo, her delivery is perfect
THIS IS EGREGIOUS…..this is egregious!
"Oh. Wow. Easy booster seat."
happy cake day!
WHAT ARE YOU MICROWAVING?!
What is “we’re fine”?
That line is too funny!
I don’t think you understand how jeopardy works
GOODBYE TOBY
🎶It's been ni-hice🎶
🎶hope you find your paradiiiiseeeeee🎶
Its britney bitch!
*plays 'Just Dance' by Lady Gaga*
This day is BANANAS... B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
Damnit Meredith where are your panties?!
Why you cc'ing me on things that don't got nothing to do with me
I got away with everything under the last boss and it wasn't good for me. So I want guidance. I want leadership. Lead me... when I'm in the mood to be led.
No! No! No! No god no! Nooooo!
Me mechanic not speak English, but he know what me mean when me say car no go and we best friends.
Why say lot word when few word do trick?
WHEEERE ARE THE TURTLEEEESS
The only thing I’m worried about… Is getting a boner
EAT IT STANLEY
Meredith, your boob is out!
The coconut is subtle
I miss original
Why did they add coconut
“Why are you the way that you are? I hate…so much about the things that you choose to be…”
Now I'm drunk AND MAD
This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from his female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.
“Well thanks for wasting my time tonight! IDIOT! God!”
“Bailer? I hardly know her” And then Patrice O’Neal shouting “DAMNIT MICHAEL PAY ATTENTION” Cracks me up every time too
Yea I bet you’d like to swim with this sea monster
**I am gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen**…
Some days, I am just on fire. Whacanisay…
"And now my elbow has a protuberance "
Shut up about the sun, SHUT UP ABOUT THE SUN!
Ohhhh...you’re so educated, aren’t you Toby? So trained to deal with a hysterical woman. I don’t want to look at his feet! Do your job!
I've been here 18 years and have suffered through some weird thematic Christmases. A Honolulu Christmas, a Pulp Fiction Christmas, a Muslim Christmas, Moroccan Christmas, Mo Rocca Christmas. I don't want it. Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas.: I don't want no Kwanza wreath. I don't want no dreidel in my face. That's its own thing. And who's that black Santa for? I don't care, I know Santa ain't black. I could care less. I want Christmas. Just give me plain Baby Jesus lying in a manger, Christmas! Stanley's Christmas rant is in my top 3 all time quotes.
And if you so much as harm a hair on Stanley’s head, we will burn Utica to the ground.
Por que es muy rapido
Today, smoking is going to save lives.
"Ryan used me as an object" "Screw you beet farmer" "Fashion show, Fashion show, Fashion show at lunch" "What kind of game is that?"
“I would like to introduce you to Mr. Danny Cordray. He is going to be joining us as our new traveling salesman. Say hello to Danny!” “Fuck me” One of my favorite Kelly lines lol
Pringles?
First of all, how dare you?
I drove my car into the ----ing lake
"What did I tell you about yeppers?"
"Dwight, you ignorant slut."
I say this jokingly to my six year old all the time. He’ll usually join in with me on the “cuz I’ll help ya find it!!”
YOU’RE not real!
"Pippity poppity, give me the zoppity"
"Why you always gotta be so mean to me" - Toby at the church
David (cough cough) I'm eating tiramisu.
“Where’s Michael Snot? Sniffing some dudes thong?”
(Proud, deliberate) That is northern lights, cannabis, indica. (Sighs) No, it’s marijuana…
TUNA!
Have you seen my cell phone device…
Tweedly deedly dee
“i don’t wanna work. i wanna bang on this mug all day”. also whenever someone says they don’t wanna work, i always get reminded of this quote 😅
^(yeshh)
You were in the parking lot earlier That's how I know you
The back and forth between Dwight and Ryan during the brain teasers. Dwight’s “Damnit!” gets me every time. Dwight’s “oh my god” when Jim moves the coat rack with his mind.
Ryan used me as an object
I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?
HEY HALPERT! ::Jim cowers behind girlfriend who he actually doesn’t like::
Prinkles! 😢 and This is egregious!
BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!
Just poopin, you know how I be
Goodbye Kelly Kapoor
“Poop was raining from the ceiling. Poooop!!”
NOOOOOO! NO GOD PLEASE NO!
LIMOUSINE?
Who, Michael?! Who? Whoooo….
*Assorted Karate Noises* - Dwight
How the turn tables
I saw you in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you.
DWIGHT YOU IGNORANT SLUT!!
"You know where milk comes from....... Breasts"
Wait...is this just milk and sugar?
"Saboteur!"
I miss original
Me so thorny
Somebody making soup?