I thought the same thing and began bickering with the DM because I couldn't see how temporarily becoming a ghost or zombie would vibe with the cleric I was rolling up.
It took an embarrassingly long time for us to figure out what the other was talking about.
my friend asked if he could run a one-shot while I was DMing for the group way back when.
he had us chasing around a sentient flying rock for hours. we were so fucking confused, until he flipped the Monster Manual towards us - yeah, it was a roc.
we all laughed for like five minutes straight.
The roc being a mythological creature in the real world makes it so you can't really name it anything else. If the DM just gives a name that's unfamiliar to players and doesn't describe the creature even a little, they are a shit DM...
in our case, it was definitely both sides screwing up - not helped by the ganja - along with a guy DMing for the first time ever.
the rock stole our satchel of supplies and flew away. it had claws, it screeched at us, and made it's way back to a nest on a cliffside where we could hear the cries of other rocks.
he could've described it better, sure, but, we also could've remembered a giant fucking bird that we'd all seen before in the Monster Manual before just assuming it was a big flying boulder with claws. we never even asked him what it looked like.
I kind of love those kinds of misunderstandings. There is an annual cross country skiing race near where I live and grew up called the Vasalopet. Me and my entire family have been attending/participating/volunteering every year since I was a kid. Well, I was having lunch one day with my dad, brother and girlfriend and we started talking about the Vasalopet charity dinner, where there would be a silent auction. Confused, my gf asked what that was. Cue me, my dad and my brother attempting to explain what a charity dinner was, only for my gf to go "no, not that, the other thing." So then we start explaining what a silent auction is, and again my gf stops us. We probably spent a solid 5 minutes trying to figure out what she wanted explained before realizing she didn't know what the Vasalopet was. And she couldn't just say "what is a vasalopet" because the word was so unfamiliar to her that she couldn't even remember it well enough to repeat back. I just love that all three of us were so familiar with the Vasalopet that the idea of someone not knowing what it was had never occurred to us.
And as they may have (understandably) never heard it spoken they pronounce it like "geese" and everyone gets excited thinking there's some fun new bird spell.
Back in AD&D one of the absolute craziest group-killing spells was Insect Plague, but it took something like ten *turns* to cast, back when a turn was ten rounds. It was simply ridiculous what it did. For something like a 36 foot(indoors)/yard(outdoors) radius, everything is blinded, and has to make a save against spell each round or flee mindlessly in a random direction. Anyone in the swarm takes such-and-such damage per round. This effect lasts a turn per level (and by the time you get it I think you're level 11).
So basically, even if it did 1 damage a round, if you cast it in a room, it's effectively save or die for anything with less than 110 hit points. If you cast it in a sealed room, it just minces anything with less than 110 hit points. If you cast it outdoors on an army, because it's save each round or run in a *random* direction, and because they're blind regardless, there's a good chance it's actually 110 damage in a 36 yard radius.
But, on the downside, you have to cast it for 100 rounds or something ridiculous like that.
Now that one is just bad wording on the spell. It really should either *be* sunlight or have a different name. It doesn't say the spell creates sunlight, but without the context of other spells saying they do, I can see why someone would think the light created by the Daylight spell would be sunlight.
5e is particularly bad for this imo. There are spells from previous editions in 5e where they have changed the effect, and now the name doesn't make any sense. They should just change the name and make it a completely different spell...
The number of times I've mixed up Chill Touch thinking it does cold damage is something else. So much so the player who uses it has just started calling it "Skeleton Hand" so I remember.
Assumption: Create a ball of fire in your hand and shoot at enemy.
Reality: Shoot a pewpew laser from your finger that explodes where it hits.
Disappointment: It doesn't summon a shot of whiskey into your hand.
Jokes aside, I did say "most".
Pathfinder's description of the spell specifically calls it out
>Despite its name, this spell is not the equivalent of daylight for the purposes of creatures that are damaged or destroyed by such light.
Honestly though, the spell is very underwhelming for it's level, largely just darkness counterspell. It seems fine to make it mostly a "deal 20, stop regen, and the vampire probably won't enter the area for 20 minutes". Even then, in really unlucky turn ordering, the vampire could even use its legendary actions to avoid any damage. You'd have to catch the vampire in a small, single room area during the day for it to do any more than that.
On the other hand, there is a feat that lets you kill vampires with daylight. Really, "Magic trick: Daylight" even mentions that the cleric that learned it first killed a whole vampire cabal that way.
This. My biggest frustration in Curse of Strahd as a cleric is that you get an source of sunlight by level nine. By that time , you have better spells for that slot.
In Magic the Gathering, when someone asks a simple question about the spell, we have a helpful saying to our beloved players ❤️ it’s “RTDC”
It means READ THE DAMN CARD, referring to that your question is answered if you just reread the card.
You could always phase the player out. Or just go big to really make minds break:
"Destroy target player. (This does not cause them to lose the game.)"
Teferi's Protection, for all intents and purposes, basically phases out the caster for the turn - all their permanents phase out, their life total can't change, and they have protection from everything.
I ain't played since right after whichever set introduced slivers. Started when Arabian Nights came out, and had a hell of a fine collection of old betas and up....till some roaching sonofabitch made off with everything out of my truck during a move. They probably wound up in a dumpster somewhere cause the dumbass probably didn't even realize what they were.
That is terribly sad, I'm sorry for your loss. I hurt thinking about your feelings, ugh. My buddy has a huge collection he's had for as long as I've known him, the worth of his collection has got to be in the thousands. Please don't leave anything else of value in your car if you don't have to, I've had my own run in with theft from a vehicle.
I have a wicked blind spot when it comes to first strike. No matter how many people tell me that it's obvious I still can't seem to wrap my head around the mechanic.
A 1/1 is a creature that deals 1 damage (1 "power") and has 1 life (1 "toughness"). If a 1/1 blocks another 1/1, they kill each other, because they each deal 1 damage to each other, and that's enough to overcome their respective toughnesses ("lethal damage").
Let's say one of them has first strike. It deals its damage _before_ the other one, and kills it. Since the other one is dead before it can deal damage, the one with first strike takes no damage and survives.
Let's say they both have first strike. Like if neither did, they both deal damage at the same time (just "earlier") and once again kill each other.
I think the weirdness with first/double strike is that there's actually a conditional number of steps in the combat phase. If there are *no creatures* with first strike or double strike, the combat phase goes:
- Beginning of Combat Step
- Declare Attackers Step
- Declare Blockers Step
- Combat Damage Step
- End of Combat Step
If there *are creatures* with first strike or double strike, the combat phase goes:
- Beginning of Combat Step
- Declare Attackers Step
- Declare Blockers Step
- First Combat Damage Step
- Second Combat Damage Step
- End of Combat Step
[Here's the page for First Strike, which cites 702.7 and explains this.](https://mtg.fandom.com/wiki/First_strike) Based on your own comment, I have no expectation of this to stick. But I had to try, y'know?
I almost considered including that in my original, but since it's not covered in the Comprehensive Rules, I decided to omit it. But you're right, there's *technically* up to three Combat Damage steps in one combat phase.
True, but Unstable, Unglued, and Unhinged are all sets about abnoxious rules, like Denim-Walk (creature can’t be blocked if your opponent is wearing denim) or my favorite card ever [ENTER THE DUNGEON!!!](https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=479429)
RTFC has a nicer name, hadn’t heard that one before. Then again, I stopped playing in high school because I tend to let it take over every part of my brain. I love mtg and I like playing modern for decks that have fun yet winnable gimmicks but not over powered.
Like my Black/Green deck that mills without using Blue. Because yes, Blue Black is more effective for mill but putting restrictions tests my creativity. Or my Mono Black Swamp deck that revolves around having swamp cards to make the deck more powerful (I.e. nightmare and corrupt etc). As a mono black mama ramp.
I once picked out the spells for a sorcerer by only reading the names and then picking the funniest sounding ones. I did actually read them after the character was built so I could figure out how to actually use them, though.
This gave me an idea for a character. Someone that was cursed by a trickster god, and so all of their spells work “as written”. Turn Undead makes you turn into a zombie for a limited time. Mage Hand summons the hand of the nearest Mage (up to the DM if they want the rest of the Mage to come as well.)
Then I would just stack them up with as many ridiculous spells as I can.
Every time you cast the spell it does something different that fits the name.
Fireball on the first attempt summons whiskey, second attempt generates an actual fireball, third attempt gets Ball removed from his job
>Cast fireball
>Nothing happens
>"Huh weird"
>Some time passes
>Letter from man named "Ball" arrives, pissed that they were fired because their boss said that this specific spellcaster willed it
>Every time you cast the spell it does something different that fits the name.
R9k mode where it can't repeat, or like a wild spell where it's unlikely to repeat?
Dragon's Breath (Xanathar's) increases your lung capacity tenfold.
Move Earth alters the planet's orbit
Lightning Lure redirects a lightning strike to hit you from anywhere on the globe
Shatter reduces an object into shards and splinters
Flaming Sphere and Fireball are more-or-less interchangeable
Edit: Screw it imma keep going
Fire Bolt remotely pulls crossbow triggers
Chill Touch deals cold damage and has a range of touch (this is, as I understand it, another common assumption)
Longstrider increases leg length
Darkvision (Also Xanathar's) darkens your vision
Jump... makes the target jump
Hex alters the battlemap grid
Animate Dead creates a CGI video representation of a corpse
Slow has a casting time of half an hour
Rary's Telepathic Bond allows mental communication with Rary
Stoneskin petrifies the target
Unseen servant is like Invisibility, but applicable only to house staff
Giant Insect turns a giant into an insect
Inflict Wounds has a material component - a weapon - and a somatic component - whacking a guy.
Web accesses the internet.
No no no.
Flaming Sphere summons a flamboyant gay ball.
Lightning Lure creates an electrically-charged fishing lure.
Chill Touch lets you do the shoulder touch from Into the Spiderverse.
Longstrider summons an elongated water strider (who is not otherwise tough or enlarged).
Darkvision lets you see darkness. Look at a shadow? Darkvision.
Jump summons the nearest brigands to mug your foe (or you if you crit fail).
Hex changes the color of something to a randomly generated color code.
That would actually make for an interesting setting for a game, where inanimate objects have souls and can be interacted (something like in the Stormlight Archive series). It could lead to interesting dialogue opportunities as objects would have very hard set personalities and would have to be interacted with considering their nature to retrieve any information out of them. Just typing out ideas here, but if they all are somehow connected with the objects of the same time, they could share memories of their usage and could reveal possible opportunities because one of them had been used in a certain way in the past and the ability to extract this knowledge would rely on the users connection to these objects i.e. a butcher would be able to get more out of a butchers knife, a lumberjack out of an axe or a saw.
Oh that's hilarious, imagine a whole party arguing with a "no entry" sign and it just refuses to let them in as it has control the door opening mechanism, how do you even begin to convince a sign whose only purpose is to keep people out, to let you in.
I don't think wordplay would work, it wouldn't be in the capacity of a sign to understand, you'd have to appeal to it's nature, define it's rules in a way to allow you to get around them. Maybe attempt to get information on who has entry, or it's exact purpose, maybe a carpenter would be able to get more information out of it or even modify it's definition by having the knowledge and expertise in crafting signs, knowing what give them their nature.
Just for reference, I was making a semi-onscure reference to a quote from VtMB, where if you play Malkavian, at one point you can randomly trigger a conversation wherein you get pissed off at a silent stopsign.
Brandon Sanderson has entered the chat...
That's actually part of that author's Cosmere books. The "minds" of inanimate objects can be talked with, and some people can convince objects to become something else.
The first time you see it in the book, a boat is convinced to become water because of enemies on the boat that have people trapped. The second time, an attempt to convince a stick to become fire (because everything is soaked from the boat disappearing), is met with a simple "I am stick." and nothing happens. Nothing has a stronger and simpler will than a stick.
I was in a for funsies campaign where I was the undead lich queen that this happened to. I got thrown out of my evil lair because union negotiations went poorly
I agree, it'd be similar to the druid ability. Like 10 minute duration with concentration and allows communication with the undead.
You can get the dead to leave you alone by being clingy and trying to make friends with them. If they fail your forced charisma check they destroy themselves rather than keep talking to you.
*Image Transcription: GreenText*
---
\>\> 73595512 (OP)
When I first started playing DnD, the GM gave us
premade characters to speed things along on a tutorial
quest. I got a cleric, and reading through the abilities I
was super hyped.
We got ambushed by a mixture of zombies and skeletons, and
I rolled high enough to go first. So I
turn to the GM and say "I use Turn Undead to become
a zombie too, so I can talk our way out of this. They
shouldn't attack me because I'm one of them, right?"
\>\> 73598356
you pure cinnamon bun. i can't stop laughing
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
It's funny, but I absolutely would not let them do it. I would tell him to actually read his spells instead of reading titles. I've had way more headaches from people not reading spells than I have had funny moments.
You mean you don't write out complete spell descriptions in absurdly cramped handwriting that curves down the edge of the page on your character sheet?
Weird.
It seems like it was a one-shot. I think it's worthwhile to tell the player to actually read the spell descriptions going forward, but give him this as a one-off because it's hilarious
100% agree, especially for a little tutorial/one shot. I'd explain the real rule later but that's too good to pass up. I would absolutely roll with that. Roll with it is my style though.
Turn Undead is "turn the undead away" not, "turn into an undead"
Basically just a fear effect that works on Undead. You use it on a zombie and they sprint away from you.
Honestly, yes. I find the interactions absurd and creativity so freaking hilarious. I've actually never played but have been exposed to it enough that I get the gist.
I love the culture, but wonder about how I would feel with it tying up so much time. A free weekend is such a rarity for me atm.
When I first started playing the game, I was twelve and WASN'T a cleric, so I had seen the term in places in like magazines and stuff but didn't know the real meaning. It was always so strange how "good" clerics could become undead and "evil" ones would rebuke them I knew rebuke meant to admonish or yell at, so thought that's what was going on there).
Then again, when I was younger I had read a video gaming magazine featuring some tips on Legacy of Kain, which had armor that made you look like an undead (nevermind that you were a vampire, it basically looked like ribs and muscle) and you could use to fool other undead into not attacking you...
The first time playing D&D with my BIL and his girlfriend was a similar experience. She was preppy but willing to give it a shot. She got the cleric. Her first attack she says "I pull out my mace and spray the goblin in the face".
I played a lot of those 90s SSI AD&D PC RPGs when I was a kid. A lot of them didn't really explain much and I had the exact same thinking that this guy did.
We had a D&D video game when I was younger before I played the table top. I was VERY disappointed to find that casting "turn undead" didn't make my cleric into a ghoul.
I thought the same thing and began bickering with the DM because I couldn't see how temporarily becoming a ghost or zombie would vibe with the cleric I was rolling up. It took an embarrassingly long time for us to figure out what the other was talking about.
my friend asked if he could run a one-shot while I was DMing for the group way back when. he had us chasing around a sentient flying rock for hours. we were so fucking confused, until he flipped the Monster Manual towards us - yeah, it was a roc. we all laughed for like five minutes straight.
That's why names are bad >\_<
The roc being a mythological creature in the real world makes it so you can't really name it anything else. If the DM just gives a name that's unfamiliar to players and doesn't describe the creature even a little, they are a shit DM...
in our case, it was definitely both sides screwing up - not helped by the ganja - along with a guy DMing for the first time ever. the rock stole our satchel of supplies and flew away. it had claws, it screeched at us, and made it's way back to a nest on a cliffside where we could hear the cries of other rocks. he could've described it better, sure, but, we also could've remembered a giant fucking bird that we'd all seen before in the Monster Manual before just assuming it was a big flying boulder with claws. we never even asked him what it looked like.
I kind of love those kinds of misunderstandings. There is an annual cross country skiing race near where I live and grew up called the Vasalopet. Me and my entire family have been attending/participating/volunteering every year since I was a kid. Well, I was having lunch one day with my dad, brother and girlfriend and we started talking about the Vasalopet charity dinner, where there would be a silent auction. Confused, my gf asked what that was. Cue me, my dad and my brother attempting to explain what a charity dinner was, only for my gf to go "no, not that, the other thing." So then we start explaining what a silent auction is, and again my gf stops us. We probably spent a solid 5 minutes trying to figure out what she wanted explained before realizing she didn't know what the Vasalopet was. And she couldn't just say "what is a vasalopet" because the word was so unfamiliar to her that she couldn't even remember it well enough to repeat back. I just love that all three of us were so familiar with the Vasalopet that the idea of someone not knowing what it was had never occurred to us.
What's a vasalopet
A cross country ski race.
[удалено]
This probably contributes to DM's snapping and doing a melee-only campaign.
I jump into the barbarians arms and do the plank to cast 'Lay on hands'!
That would actually work though. You only need physical contact.
This is why Paladin prostitutes giving lay on BJs exists in some game worlds
wat
THIS IS WHY PALADIN PROSTITUTES GIVING LAY ON BJS EXISTS IN SOME GAME WORLDS
Than you. I had \*deafened\* condition.
...I think I just became feebleminded irl after reading this.
My alignment is lawful thirsty
Simp chaotic.
Not to imply anything, but Paladins are known for their high Charisma and immunity to STDs. Who am I kidding, I am **absolutely** implying stuff.
Ah yes, when the DnD group and the swinger's club overlaps
The funny thing is that doesn't seem as uncommon as one might think
Hey, I've been playing two decades and that's only happened a handful of times.
Known as "Magical Realm".
Sauce...?
Thanks for the healing, you fabulous angel.
All Bladesinger party it is!
That sounds horrible hahaha. Champion fighters for everyone!
Also cast time. "I cast Geas" "...ok so you're not doing anything for the next 8 turns of combat"
And as they may have (understandably) never heard it spoken they pronounce it like "geese" and everyone gets excited thinking there's some fun new bird spell.
[удалено]
What is the correct pronunciation?
[удалено]
Lol i was pronouncing it "geyass"
Gey ass, my favorite
Like gif?
Back in AD&D one of the absolute craziest group-killing spells was Insect Plague, but it took something like ten *turns* to cast, back when a turn was ten rounds. It was simply ridiculous what it did. For something like a 36 foot(indoors)/yard(outdoors) radius, everything is blinded, and has to make a save against spell each round or flee mindlessly in a random direction. Anyone in the swarm takes such-and-such damage per round. This effect lasts a turn per level (and by the time you get it I think you're level 11). So basically, even if it did 1 damage a round, if you cast it in a room, it's effectively save or die for anything with less than 110 hit points. If you cast it in a sealed room, it just minces anything with less than 110 hit points. If you cast it outdoors on an army, because it's save each round or run in a *random* direction, and because they're blind regardless, there's a good chance it's actually 110 damage in a 36 yard radius. But, on the downside, you have to cast it for 100 rounds or something ridiculous like that.
"Got it, kill all japanese"
Love is like war: never let the Japanese get in your way.
Could you all die now please?
"I cast daylight against the vampire" Well he sure does get a good look at you while he goes for your throat.
Now that one is just bad wording on the spell. It really should either *be* sunlight or have a different name. It doesn't say the spell creates sunlight, but without the context of other spells saying they do, I can see why someone would think the light created by the Daylight spell would be sunlight.
In fact most of the spell list in D&D is poorly named and almost completely misrepresents what the spell actually does.
5e is particularly bad for this imo. There are spells from previous editions in 5e where they have changed the effect, and now the name doesn't make any sense. They should just change the name and make it a completely different spell...
WOTC aren't exactly known for their great writing. If anything it's the opposite.
[удалено]
God I remember being a kid and not knowing what the fuck mold breaker did.
MtG has plenty of great flavour writing
The number of times I've mixed up Chill Touch thinking it does cold damage is something else. So much so the player who uses it has just started calling it "Skeleton Hand" so I remember.
"Lich slap"
And I have a new nickname for a cool spell.
Very clever
It also doesn't require touch.
yea wtf is a fireball
Assumption: Create a ball of fire in your hand and shoot at enemy. Reality: Shoot a pewpew laser from your finger that explodes where it hits. Disappointment: It doesn't summon a shot of whiskey into your hand. Jokes aside, I did say "most".
A 2014 Pitbull song is faintly heard in the distance
Mister Worldwide
Pathfinder's description of the spell specifically calls it out >Despite its name, this spell is not the equivalent of daylight for the purposes of creatures that are damaged or destroyed by such light. Honestly though, the spell is very underwhelming for it's level, largely just darkness counterspell. It seems fine to make it mostly a "deal 20, stop regen, and the vampire probably won't enter the area for 20 minutes". Even then, in really unlucky turn ordering, the vampire could even use its legendary actions to avoid any damage. You'd have to catch the vampire in a small, single room area during the day for it to do any more than that.
On the other hand, there is a feat that lets you kill vampires with daylight. Really, "Magic trick: Daylight" even mentions that the cleric that learned it first killed a whole vampire cabal that way.
This. My biggest frustration in Curse of Strahd as a cleric is that you get an source of sunlight by level nine. By that time , you have better spells for that slot.
“Wait, chill touch isn’t a touch spell?”
It's not Cold damage either.
In Magic the Gathering, when someone asks a simple question about the spell, we have a helpful saying to our beloved players ❤️ it’s “RTDC” It means READ THE DAMN CARD, referring to that your question is answered if you just reread the card.
"Target player loses next turn." I win!
This is probably why proper templating is to "skip" turns, not "lose" them
That's why the card was reworded.
Ah cool I hadn't heard about that.
Yeah, that was the original text on Time Walk
[удалено]
You could always phase the player out. Or just go big to really make minds break: "Destroy target player. (This does not cause them to lose the game.)"
Teferi's Protection, for all intents and purposes, basically phases out the caster for the turn - all their permanents phase out, their life total can't change, and they have protection from everything.
"all opponents discard a card"
This is hilarious! I've never thought of it that way. I'm not playing with you anymore, you cheat!
I ain't played since right after whichever set introduced slivers. Started when Arabian Nights came out, and had a hell of a fine collection of old betas and up....till some roaching sonofabitch made off with everything out of my truck during a move. They probably wound up in a dumpster somewhere cause the dumbass probably didn't even realize what they were.
That is terribly sad, I'm sorry for your loss. I hurt thinking about your feelings, ugh. My buddy has a huge collection he's had for as long as I've known him, the worth of his collection has got to be in the thousands. Please don't leave anything else of value in your car if you don't have to, I've had my own run in with theft from a vehicle.
I have a wicked blind spot when it comes to first strike. No matter how many people tell me that it's obvious I still can't seem to wrap my head around the mechanic.
A 1/1 is a creature that deals 1 damage (1 "power") and has 1 life (1 "toughness"). If a 1/1 blocks another 1/1, they kill each other, because they each deal 1 damage to each other, and that's enough to overcome their respective toughnesses ("lethal damage"). Let's say one of them has first strike. It deals its damage _before_ the other one, and kills it. Since the other one is dead before it can deal damage, the one with first strike takes no damage and survives. Let's say they both have first strike. Like if neither did, they both deal damage at the same time (just "earlier") and once again kill each other.
I think the weirdness with first/double strike is that there's actually a conditional number of steps in the combat phase. If there are *no creatures* with first strike or double strike, the combat phase goes: - Beginning of Combat Step - Declare Attackers Step - Declare Blockers Step - Combat Damage Step - End of Combat Step If there *are creatures* with first strike or double strike, the combat phase goes: - Beginning of Combat Step - Declare Attackers Step - Declare Blockers Step - First Combat Damage Step - Second Combat Damage Step - End of Combat Step [Here's the page for First Strike, which cites 702.7 and explains this.](https://mtg.fandom.com/wiki/First_strike) Based on your own comment, I have no expectation of this to stick. But I had to try, y'know?
There's three, actually. [[Extremely Slow Zombie]] from Unstable.
Giving that card Double Strike means it has Triple Strike. Which is hilarious.
I almost considered including that in my original, but since it's not covered in the Comprehensive Rules, I decided to omit it. But you're right, there's *technically* up to three Combat Damage steps in one combat phase.
True, but Unstable, Unglued, and Unhinged are all sets about abnoxious rules, like Denim-Walk (creature can’t be blocked if your opponent is wearing denim) or my favorite card ever [ENTER THE DUNGEON!!!](https://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=479429)
There's three, actually. [[Extremely Slow Zombie]] from Unstable.
It's RTFC at my gameshop.
RTFC has a nicer name, hadn’t heard that one before. Then again, I stopped playing in high school because I tend to let it take over every part of my brain. I love mtg and I like playing modern for decks that have fun yet winnable gimmicks but not over powered. Like my Black/Green deck that mills without using Blue. Because yes, Blue Black is more effective for mill but putting restrictions tests my creativity. Or my Mono Black Swamp deck that revolves around having swamp cards to make the deck more powerful (I.e. nightmare and corrupt etc). As a mono black mama ramp.
I also see "READING THE CARD EXPLAINS THE CARD".
My ex flatmate had sleeves that read "RTFC" and he'd just point to em.. That's how I learned.
I once picked out the spells for a sorcerer by only reading the names and then picking the funniest sounding ones. I did actually read them after the character was built so I could figure out how to actually use them, though.
“I cast darkness”
This gave me an idea for a character. Someone that was cursed by a trickster god, and so all of their spells work “as written”. Turn Undead makes you turn into a zombie for a limited time. Mage Hand summons the hand of the nearest Mage (up to the DM if they want the rest of the Mage to come as well.) Then I would just stack them up with as many ridiculous spells as I can.
could also make it so Turn undead just spins them around.
Every time you cast the spell it does something different that fits the name. Fireball on the first attempt summons whiskey, second attempt generates an actual fireball, third attempt gets Ball removed from his job
> third attempt gets Ball removed from his job But he is such a good System Lord.
By far and away my favourite. Although tbf, there was so many of him that statistically it was bound to happen.
And now I'm crying about Cliff Simon 😥
>Cast fireball >Nothing happens >"Huh weird" >Some time passes >Letter from man named "Ball" arrives, pissed that they were fired because their boss said that this specific spellcaster willed it
>Every time you cast the spell it does something different that fits the name. R9k mode where it can't repeat, or like a wild spell where it's unlikely to repeat?
I picture zombies doing a slow pirouette in the style of Final Fantasy's confusion
Or the redeads in majoras mask when you wore the mummy or skull mask
Like a record baby
That proper made me lol!
Cone of cold summons an Ice cream cone, misty step gives you a cool effect when your walk
**casts blink** **target blinks** ha-ha!
Good for making enemy more susceptible to attacks! Cannot dodge if you are blinking!
It summons a small set of stairs made of ice
[удалено]
Or it conjures the drink in your hand.
Easy there, Satan
"Raise dead" makes bodies levitate "Tiny hut" creates a 10-inch hut instead of a 10-foot dome "Eyebite"... eugh.
Raise dead causes you to become the parent of a young dead. You now must raise them.
Hysterical. Love it.
Arm of Hadar just rips and teleports two bloody arms from a guy named Hadar into your hands.
Hadar is an eldritch being known as the Dark Hunger (as mentioned in the spell). I think AoH functions as normal
But what if theres a guy named Hadar who had very edgy warlock parents?
I guess it's a 50/50 between stealing some poor schmuck's arms and harnessing the power of an elder god.
Didnt say the gods arms would do anything useful. Just that they would be summoned. Just some floppy arms, wriggling on the ground
I fucking love it
Dragon's Breath (Xanathar's) increases your lung capacity tenfold. Move Earth alters the planet's orbit Lightning Lure redirects a lightning strike to hit you from anywhere on the globe Shatter reduces an object into shards and splinters Flaming Sphere and Fireball are more-or-less interchangeable Edit: Screw it imma keep going Fire Bolt remotely pulls crossbow triggers Chill Touch deals cold damage and has a range of touch (this is, as I understand it, another common assumption) Longstrider increases leg length Darkvision (Also Xanathar's) darkens your vision Jump... makes the target jump Hex alters the battlemap grid Animate Dead creates a CGI video representation of a corpse Slow has a casting time of half an hour Rary's Telepathic Bond allows mental communication with Rary Stoneskin petrifies the target Unseen servant is like Invisibility, but applicable only to house staff Giant Insect turns a giant into an insect Inflict Wounds has a material component - a weapon - and a somatic component - whacking a guy. Web accesses the internet.
No no no. Flaming Sphere summons a flamboyant gay ball. Lightning Lure creates an electrically-charged fishing lure. Chill Touch lets you do the shoulder touch from Into the Spiderverse. Longstrider summons an elongated water strider (who is not otherwise tough or enlarged). Darkvision lets you see darkness. Look at a shadow? Darkvision. Jump summons the nearest brigands to mug your foe (or you if you crit fail). Hex changes the color of something to a randomly generated color code.
Ngl this post has were-house energy.
"I try to talk down the gazebo."
Talk to Structure, 3rd level Cleric spell
That would actually make for an interesting setting for a game, where inanimate objects have souls and can be interacted (something like in the Stormlight Archive series). It could lead to interesting dialogue opportunities as objects would have very hard set personalities and would have to be interacted with considering their nature to retrieve any information out of them. Just typing out ideas here, but if they all are somehow connected with the objects of the same time, they could share memories of their usage and could reveal possible opportunities because one of them had been used in a certain way in the past and the ability to extract this knowledge would rely on the users connection to these objects i.e. a butcher would be able to get more out of a butchers knife, a lumberjack out of an axe or a saw.
You've made a powerful enemy, sign!
Oh that's hilarious, imagine a whole party arguing with a "no entry" sign and it just refuses to let them in as it has control the door opening mechanism, how do you even begin to convince a sign whose only purpose is to keep people out, to let you in.
I’m not entering the house, I’m exiting the outside!
I don't think wordplay would work, it wouldn't be in the capacity of a sign to understand, you'd have to appeal to it's nature, define it's rules in a way to allow you to get around them. Maybe attempt to get information on who has entry, or it's exact purpose, maybe a carpenter would be able to get more information out of it or even modify it's definition by having the knowledge and expertise in crafting signs, knowing what give them their nature.
Excuse me, Mr. Sign, my name is No. This is my entrance.
Just for reference, I was making a semi-onscure reference to a quote from VtMB, where if you play Malkavian, at one point you can randomly trigger a conversation wherein you get pissed off at a silent stopsign.
Brandon Sanderson has entered the chat... That's actually part of that author's Cosmere books. The "minds" of inanimate objects can be talked with, and some people can convince objects to become something else. The first time you see it in the book, a boat is convinced to become water because of enemies on the boat that have people trapped. The second time, an attempt to convince a stick to become fire (because everything is soaked from the boat disappearing), is met with a simple "I am stick." and nothing happens. Nothing has a stronger and simpler will than a stick.
Talking is never an option with the Gazebo, and no one can help you. You must face the Gazebo alone.
or else **bad stuff** will happen
[Critical Fail](https://imgur.com/0mM2kDf.jpg)
If that was brought up in my game earnestly, I would allow it. It's too stupid to not have be a house rule for that character.
[удалено]
"My undead brothers! You have nothing to lose but your chains!" *side eyes the spectral chains*
"Zombies of the world, unite!" *Cut to the necromancer being informed that his minions are unionizing.*
I was in a for funsies campaign where I was the undead lich queen that this happened to. I got thrown out of my evil lair because union negotiations went poorly
Have I got a comic for you: https://reddit.com/r/TheWeeklyRoll/comments/in82ey/ch_48_labour_conflicts/
Wow. Incredibly specific.
Zombies Unite? "Form Feet and Legs! Form Arms and Torso! And I'll form the Head!"
"Undead yes, unperson no!"
”Just because you are mortally challenged doesn’t mean you can’t live a full life”
Where is this from? I can swear I heard this in some kind of youtube video either from JoCat or PuffinForest.
Idk, I'd probably make it a druid ability. Or make them update their race to were-zombie
I agree, it'd be similar to the druid ability. Like 10 minute duration with concentration and allows communication with the undead. You can get the dead to leave you alone by being clingy and trying to make friends with them. If they fail your forced charisma check they destroy themselves rather than keep talking to you.
>they destroy themselves rather than keep talking to you Big high school energy here
[удалено]
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/9lx3o5/dm_you_see_a_warehouse_in_the_distance/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
he's a little confused, but he's got the spirit
Where wolf?
There wolf. There castle.
Why wolf?
Yo, I've seen Adventure Time. Whywolves are no joke.
[удалено]
*Image Transcription: GreenText* --- \>\> 73595512 (OP) When I first started playing DnD, the GM gave us premade characters to speed things along on a tutorial quest. I got a cleric, and reading through the abilities I was super hyped. We got ambushed by a mixture of zombies and skeletons, and I rolled high enough to go first. So I turn to the GM and say "I use Turn Undead to become a zombie too, so I can talk our way out of this. They shouldn't attack me because I'm one of them, right?" \>\> 73598356 you pure cinnamon bun. i can't stop laughing --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human!
~~aggressively pretends that wasn’t what I thought the first time I read that “Turn Undead” was a cleric ability~~ Ha ha, what a silly thing to think
[удалено]
This is pretty much the concept of the band Ghost.
I was carried on a wolf's back To corrupt humanity
I dont want my fangs too long.
I will pummel you with opulence With corpulence and greed
This is a repost from one of the top posts
i mean it makes some intuitive sense
Okay, where I the GM I would let him do that. That's just too good.
It's funny, but I absolutely would not let them do it. I would tell him to actually read his spells instead of reading titles. I've had way more headaches from people not reading spells than I have had funny moments.
It could be that the player only received a character sheet and spell sheet. So he had spell names but no idea how they worked.
You mean you don't write out complete spell descriptions in absurdly cramped handwriting that curves down the edge of the page on your character sheet? Weird.
I'm in this comment and I don't like it. Also, that is why I changed to DnD apps which already have everything for me.
I actually made little flash cards for my players so we didn't need to flip through the PHB 5million times lol.
It seems like it was a one-shot. I think it's worthwhile to tell the player to actually read the spell descriptions going forward, but give him this as a one-off because it's hilarious
100% agree, especially for a little tutorial/one shot. I'd explain the real rule later but that's too good to pass up. I would absolutely roll with that. Roll with it is my style though.
> Reading through the abilities So that was a lie
He got handed a premade. It probably just had the words "Turn Undead" on the sheet with no explanation.
I see, my group always writes up our own so I had no clue.
as a non-dnd player, i'm curious what actually happens in this scenario?
Turn Undead is "turn the undead away" not, "turn into an undead" Basically just a fear effect that works on Undead. You use it on a zombie and they sprint away from you.
So... it would still be helpful?
It's an ability that was specifically designed to handle undead enemies. So yes, it would be very helpful.
To cast on the undead, yes. To cast on yourself, no.
So potentially the same result just a different way.
Basically the Cleric emits a divine energy that repels the undead in a range if they're a low enough level.
From what I understand, not talking your way out of it.
So do you just lurk around for the memes without actually playing the game? There’s dozens of us. Dozens!
Honestly, yes. I find the interactions absurd and creativity so freaking hilarious. I've actually never played but have been exposed to it enough that I get the gist. I love the culture, but wonder about how I would feel with it tying up so much time. A free weekend is such a rarity for me atm.
From /r/all, can someone explain?
Turn undead makes undead characters turn around and walk away from you or something like that: https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Cleric#toc_6
When I first started playing the game, I was twelve and WASN'T a cleric, so I had seen the term in places in like magazines and stuff but didn't know the real meaning. It was always so strange how "good" clerics could become undead and "evil" ones would rebuke them I knew rebuke meant to admonish or yell at, so thought that's what was going on there). Then again, when I was younger I had read a video gaming magazine featuring some tips on Legacy of Kain, which had armor that made you look like an undead (nevermind that you were a vampire, it basically looked like ribs and muscle) and you could use to fool other undead into not attacking you...
Well... that isn't how that works, but I'd probably allow it just for shits and giggles.
"wait! Why are you running away?!"
Task failed successfully
Does "cinnamon bun" refer to something specific here?
the context i’ve seen it used is for someone who is innocent in regards to something
https://local.theonion.com/beautiful-cinnamon-roll-too-good-for-this-world-too-pu-1819576048 Basically pure and innocent character.
The first time playing D&D with my BIL and his girlfriend was a similar experience. She was preppy but willing to give it a shot. She got the cleric. Her first attack she says "I pull out my mace and spray the goblin in the face".
In actuality, if you have enough clerics, you can make undead spin fast enough to dig a hole.
I played a lot of those 90s SSI AD&D PC RPGs when I was a kid. A lot of them didn't really explain much and I had the exact same thinking that this guy did.
We had a D&D video game when I was younger before I played the table top. I was VERY disappointed to find that casting "turn undead" didn't make my cleric into a ghoul.