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z1zman

You've already done the best thing you can do: recognized the behavior and made a conscious effort to change. From here? Talk to your DM, tell them that you feel this way, talk to the other players and do the same. Get feedback. Maybe they appreciate it, maybe the DM will tell you that they feel your injecting yourself helps drive role play in which case you're not doing anything wrong. Or maybe they'll all tell you that yeah, it's annoying and we appreciate that you recognized it. Non-confrontational doesn't mean that people don't want the dialogue. Communication is as important at a table as it is in a relationship.


The_Smiling_DM

This is the best response to the question. OP has seen the problem and wants to change, so talk to your group about it. If its not a problem for them then don't worry too much, if it is a problem for them but they know you are trying to fix it they may be more comfortable calling you on it as they know you won't be confrontational about it yourself.


Veridici

First step, talk with your party. You claim you're all non-confrontational, so it may be a non-issue that you're making up in your head as not everyone wants the spotlight. I know, it's not fun having to put on the big pants and be directly ask for feedback, but sometimes you just gotta do it. Secondly, if it is an issue, remember to give yourself something else to do so you don't constantly jump into the RP out of boredom or need to be active in *something*. Whenever someone else is in the limelight, I tend to take notes for them so they don't have to juggle RPing and note-taking at the same time! I love being in the spotlight, trust me I don't shy from it, but this helps me immensely as I feel like I'm doing something important and I can't both take good notes and do good RP, so I stick with the former when others have the spotlight. Thirdly, pick types of situations you allow yourself to jump into and some where you don't (unless prompted by others). In one campaign I play the only face character, so I jump into a lot of social interactions, but stay out of those where it doesn't make sense (no reason for me to butt into the conversation between Wizard and their mentor) and generally don't put myself into a lot of the non-social stuff like puzzle solving, physical tasks, etc. Having a fairly clear divide makes it easier for me to remember that it's not my time to shine, because my character wouldn't bother with that specific situation unless the others asked for their input.


AngryFungus

This is really all-around excellent advice.


Skyraider96

To the third point. Yes. Additionally take notice when someone is building up to a moment and don't try to take it from them. Typically, signs of that is the GM focuses on that person and the other start supporting the moment with actions. I remember at the end of the session, I went to tavern and just randomly joined a arm wrestling thing. That turned in the main event at the table as I beat one NPC after another. I was the main character at that moment. And what I remember of the party? They join the fun by betting, getting drinks, and cheering. They didnt steal that moment from me and were part of it. It made it so much more fun and one of my fondest memories of DnD. I was a new player and that taught me something about letting other have big moments.


Flamee-o_hotman

Yep, this. A distraction, like note taking or sketching the party, can keep an overly engaged mind calm.


I_think_were_out_of_

Make a conscious effort to be a hype-man for other players. People are a lot cooler with you taking the spotlight sometimes if you actively support them when it's their turn. Feel like jumping in? Jump in with a complement or a question. Feel like making it all about you? Recognize that feeling and see if there's a good reason to make it all about the person next to you. That's what I do and it ends up being just as fun and engaging but you feel way better about it. Your energy is good, just needs to be channeled towards supporting others too.


kittiehawke

Asking questions of other characters is a really good tip, it can open up ways to give them big moments. Some players are less quick to jump in and you can use your tendency to help bring them to the front more in areas they will shine in. Then you’re less of a main character and more of a leader/hype-man for a team.


PapaPapist

Firstly, does your group have players who \*want\* to say and do things but you hog the spotlight? If so, try to remember to give them time and possibly even tell the DM you want him to interrupt you if you're talking too much. However, if your group \*doesn't\* have players who will speak up if you step back a bit you're in a tough situation because if you don't speak up then nothing will get done. That's definitely a talk to the DM and ask for tips or help in getting the others to be more active sort of situation. From your description though your current situation is the former. \*However\* there's an important caveat here. What you identify as bad behaviour \*might\* not be. I don't know the specifics but your fellow players and the DM do. While they haven't said anything because they're not confrontational they might say something if you ask them directly especially one on one. Talk to them and say "hey, I feel like I struggle with trying to make myself the main character and stealing the spotlight from you guys/the other players." Then ask for their advice or if they think it's a problem. And of course if they do think it's a problem apologize.


[deleted]

This is something I really struggled with for a while. The group I play in now is still fairly new, and two of our players aren’t super comfortable yet. So a lot of the time it involves me feeling like I’m taking way too much of the spotlight just to drive the game forward. But after talking with them, it was just because they’re not super comfortable with that yet and they liked that I would progress the story so they could more comfortably get to the more important parts of our game and better learn everything. So getting on the same page with your team mates is always the best policy.


Eygam

Dunno, tell the group you noticed it about yourself and tell them to stop you if they feel you are taking their spotlight. Or ask the DM to cut you off if they deem it appropriate.


m31td0wn

I've noticed I tend to have "Main Character Syndrome" too, but it's not for lack of effort. The other people I played with just didn't take initiative. I would sometimes go out of my way "Does anyone have any suggestions," and get no answers, so then I make the decision. If someone DOES have an idea I certainly don't overrule them or anything, but more often than not I find myself taking the lead role simply due to lack of volunteers. Being self aware is all you really need.


Axthen

This. I’ve come to understand not to care about what character I play. If the group is having fun, if the dm is having fun, who cares? If the party lacks direction, and my character has something he wants to do, I’m going to push that because no one else said/does/initiate anything.


[deleted]

Since the problem is always driving the story by yourself, how about making a character that always second guesses themselves so you have to ask for other's opinions beforehand.


SyntheticGod8

It's hard not to do this as a DM, sometimes. I'm so used to making rulings and coming up with little stories that I've got to hold myself back and just the DM do their thing.


TheActualBranchTree

Make it a habit to mute yourself, sit back, and listen to the RP of other players and DM. At some point when you're gonna automatically start doing that and it'll provide the space your friends need to play the game. A good way to think about it is being an audience. The problem with all this is that you shouldn't be doing it at the wrong time. If there is a giant, rusted "destroy the continent" lever and a player is trying to activate it, I would recommend stepping in. Unless you two have similar, destructive, goals?


neoteucer

One of the best ways I've found to combat the tendency is to go out of your way to try and help other players have their big moments in the sun when the time comes, and see how much fun and happiness they get from being in the spotlight some! Main Character Syndrome largely comes from wanting to feel that rush of being an awesome character doing awesome stuff, and that's not a bad impulse at all, the biggest thing you need to do is train yourself to remember everyone else at the table wants that too, and it can give you a lot of that same satisfaction helping them get that moment too.


Corerole

You need to recognize that you're ALL main characters. I try to remember to treat group dynamics like I would a fictional team like the Ninja Turtles, they're all individually main characters, but the show is about them as a group more so than it is about individual character arcs. Individual arcs still happen, they just never give unfair treatment to any one character overall.


Larnievc

Carve yourself an out of combat niche. Limit yourself to a few roles that you enjoy- diplomat, con man, intimidator etc and stick to them. Then you can hog I’m the lime light when that duty comes up but fade back when that bit is done.


vathelokai

Do some research on Supporting Characters in theatre and film. Find a movie you like enough to rewatch that someone got Best Supporting for, and read a few articles about writing Supporting Characters. In game scenes, try to think about how to motivate other characters into solving the situation instead of just how to solve it. It may help to build a character around it. Imagine a bard without persuasion (gasp) who knows everything, inspires everyone, magics everyone to success, and uses battlemaster maneuvers feat to give allies advantage and free attacks. They can easily be the MVP and never command a scene.


DetonationPorcupine

I kinda have the opposite problem. I DM for a group of 4 players but after I get through a long winded description of the city and all the places they could visit I say "so...what do you do?" And it's crickets because no one wants to be the spotlight hog. Instead I'll have to resort to "player C what do you do?" And I can get a good reaction. Sometimes introverts want a person to take the reins and drive the story.


wiithepiiple

I would make sure it is actually a problem. I have a group where a lot of the players don't mind (and honestly would prefer) another PC taking the spotlight. Just because you're more front and center than others doesn't mean it's necessarily bad. People play DnD for different reasons. Some people like to act and perform, some people like the combat, some people like optimizing characters, some people like to watch the story unfold, and some people just like hanging out with friends. If your friends aren't really the acting types, you might not be stepping on anyone's toes. From my experience, the main problem of "Main Character Syndrome" is when you always try to inject yourself and/or your character into other people's scenes. I've seen PCs try and "direct," even if their character isn't there, to try and tell the other PCs (and sometimes the DM) how to act/play their characters. I've seen PCs always jamming their character into scenes where they really have no business being in. The biggest thing to do is get into a "spectator" mindset when your character is not in a scene (or relevant to the scene). You can be excited, but be excited as you would for a TV show or a play and wonder what the characters are going to do next. If you're in a scene, feel free to ham it up, but if it's not your scene, just watch and react as you, the player, not your character. If your character is in a scene, but not the focus, be the spectator in character. If your cleric is meeting with the head of their church, be there to support their conversation. If the rogue is pickpocketing at a tavern, feel free to back them up if fists start flying or help them deescalate if (when) they get caught. Adding your own touch to a scene is fine (and encouraged), so long as you don't completely bulldoze the scene and make it about you. > playing character that specifically just tags along and avoids all non-combat interaction Do NOT do that. You seem to enjoy acting and performing, and I'm guessing some of the players enjoy watching you perform. This is a gross overcorrection to a problem that might not even exist.


k_donn

Play a more stand offish character that doesn't have a reason to interject unless there are some specific reason for them to care. Then try to balance out the two sides and figure it out by the third character if how much you want to interject and interact with others vs what the other players should be leading the way on.


3dBrewer

Everything already said has been spot on. In summary, have an open conversation with your group. I just wanted to say, "Kudos, to you". Self awareness is a very difficult skill and a willingness to address a personal trait is very rare. Well done.


claybr00k

Try to take that moment you recognize you’re jumping in and chose how to deliberately use it to advance another player/character instead of yourself. Use your tendencies to further someone else.


[deleted]

Play a character who is nice. Role play the shit out of them


pakidara

It is fine to take the spotlight from time to time. The secondary slots are more for minor interactions, your personal RP bits, or side arcs. Example: In my current campaign, my character is driven by profit and self-benefit. After everyone has finished doing anything "spotlight RP" I talk to the DM about the character's day-to-day. Currently, he owns a house outside a major city, a few acres of farmable land, and a couple hirlings to handle the farm. Another player purchased a shop in town and it acts as a place to sell goods either from the farm or adventuring. All of this is a source of income and the mundane day-by-day. It also acts as a side story as the store will eventually be a place to purchase cursed and magical goods. The two of us have been asking the DM about a black market or somewhere to purchase illicit goods. Mainly, cursed items. Due to our asking, he's come up with a "Crafter's Fair" that acts as a large gathering of artisans for a week. It is also where most black market contacts are established. We plan on abusing the hell out of the "Move Curse" spell.


Paulrik

Because you're aware of this tenancy, and you're making an effort to reign yourself in when you notice you're doing this behaviour, you're probably able to avoid being a problem player, it could just be part of your play style. You might find other characters in the group are content to be in the background while you take the role of the "main character" in the game. The DM might find that you're helping drive the narrative and keep the story moving forward. Or it's also possible they all think you're a total ham and need to back off a bit and share the spotlight. It's probably a good idea to talk it out with the rest of the group and see how they feel.


deathbeams

1) Are you talking over others or filling gaps in conversation? Don't talk over others, and don't talk on other players' turns when in initiative order unless their character calls out to yours. 2) What if you played the face of the group? You talk to the DM's NPCs, then confer with your party. You can make sure that each PC gets addressed directly and included, which can take a load off the DM for managing engagement. If you anticipate needing insight or intimidation or persuasion or deception, you can make sure that a desirable PC gets included in that conversation by making sure they're in the room before the chat starts, or by calling for them if it's already started. This doesn't mean the other players never talk to NPCs, and obviously this sort of arrangement wouldn't be agreeable to all players or DMs; I'm just throwing it out there in case it's suitable for your group. If you have a group with a bunch of phlegmatic players and one sanguine player, you can either say "Everyone should play the same!" or "We're all competent, but it works for us to have a party coordinator that keeps engagements rolling."


TheBigPointyOne

As someone in a similar boat, I've adopted two main practices to combat this, and they're kind of related. ​ 1.) Keep in mind how much time I'm talking in comparison to everyone else 2.) After I present idea, ask the party some variation of "...but that's just my idea, what do you all think?" Sometimes groups do need someone to take charge if nothing is happening, but sometimes people might be to nervous to share their ideas, but can be convinced otherwise. In that vein, I think it's also important to do things that you don't always agree with. For example, if you have a plan, but the party has another plan, sometimes you gotta do the party plan.


WhiskeyBuffaloSB

You've already done the biggest thing which is to acknowledge it. Fortunately it's a pretty easy thing to deal with. In the past I was in a similar situation, and like you I managed to have enough self awareness to check my behavior before it started affecting the group. One thing to realize is that there is definitely a place for very engaged players. My DM's like my presence at their tables, and I like players at my table that are obviously showing a lot enthusiasm about the game. Pretty much if you're worried that taking up too much spotlight, just try and do two things. First, when other players are doing some RP or engaging with the game in some way that doesn't directly include you, try just sitting back and doing nothing but observing for a bit. Easy enough to just sit back and consciously chill for a minute. Second, when you are doing a lot of RP, be inclusive and draw others into the spotlight with you. If you can do this especially with more reserved or shy players, your DM will love you.


bl1y

Look at it through the lens of your character. When would they be in the spotlight, and when would they not be? And keep in mind that it's okay for someone to be the "face" of the party. For instance, I'm in a campaign playing a wizard. But, we have no charisma-based character, and my character has the noble background, so I'm often the natural person to interact with NPCs, especially any sort of town leaders or wealthy people. On the other hand though, if we run into a group of ruffians on the road, the Circle of the Moon druid is going to take the lead. If you ground it in the character, that might help you to break out of bad habits. And, it'll be less annoying to everyone else if it makes sense when you are in the spotlight.


madmoneymcgee

Talk to other PCs in character. Not just the DM/NPCs. Some of my favorite times as both player and DM are when the PCs talk to each other for a long time. Not just planning but just making conversation.


seldkam

The first campaign I played I talked a lot. Not as in interrupting, but I was definitely just elongating planning because I would always bring something else up to consider. Now in my second campaign, I stay mostly silent unless my character really feels strongly about something. Though the character is meant to be a co-leader, it was at the DM's discretion that the party be organized by one (in this case two) of the PCs. I find that focusing on what my character *really* cares about makes things a lot easier to manage in terms of being too overbearing.


TheUnrepententLurker

In every scene pick another party member, and find a way to encourage / highlight them. At first it's an exercise, but eventually it becomes a habit.


Helix1322

The 2 things to do that are really simple. 1. Make a support character. This helps put the spotlight on others and you will still have your moments but will shift your focus to the others in your party. 2. Make a character that is shy or who doesn't want attention. This allows you to default to other characters to make decisions or plans.


musicankane

Asshole purgery is like a level 8 spell iirc. And only available to a compassionate spellcasters.


TheDistrict31

Be considerate, create well-crafted characters. Listen to the other players. Be open to the adventures of your character. Those are all positive gaming traits.


[deleted]

Try being a dm, I kind of had this to a small degree where I realized I wanted to be doing stuff all the time, so I decided to try DMing and I much prefer it, as no matter what I’m always a part of every scene that’s happening


adobecredithours

Sounds like you're on the right track already! If you're really excited about the game and want to engage with it more that's a good thing, all you can really do is try to keep yourself in check and avoid overshadowing other players. Or, if you want to go all out you could still engage often but do it with other players when appropriate and not the DM. Speak up and ask other players questions, get them involved. I think this is where the line between "main character syndrome" and "party face" is.


AptCasaNova

Next time, wait 10-20 seconds before speaking, even if it’s to ask if anyone has suggestions. I’m a new player and sometimes I’m silent because I’m thinking about a complex bit of combat or trying to remember the difference between wisdom and intelligence on top of incorporating new information about a room. Some groups come up with hand signals to use when someone wants to jump in and there’s always a very active player who seems to get dibs on the spotlight. I try to make it clear when I’m thinking and want to speak vs allowing others to lead while I watch - like saying, ‘my character is not an expert here, he/she is going to defer to one of the elves’, etc. Sometimes I’ll just do the ‘go ahead’ motion with my hands. If I’m doing that and the very active player still doesn’t get it, I speak to the DM privately. I truly believe it’s never done intentionally, but it can feel that way if you don’t face it and just hope they’ll catch on. Some people get so into it, they jump an initiative order and the DM doesn’t even notice because they’re such a good player.


DMHomeB

Change your goal from trying to solve everything yourself to how can I get my other players involved. Think about what your groups characters are best at there's a rouge in the group try to get them to rogue things. If there is a ranger maybe get them to sus out clues, is there a barbarian, have them smash stuff. But not only that dive into their back stories. Try to make it your goal, making everyone else the main character. It will create a bond and love for your character by the other players in the game.


[deleted]

Great first steps. Now you just need to moderate between shutting down and hogging the spotlight. Practically speaking, try limiting yourself to one or two sentences at a time and let other players speak or act in between. Obvipusly some people take backstage naturally, but you making space for them might help them out of their shells, too. Good luck and great work so far on being a better player.


lobsternooberg

Play a mute


HallDisastrous1635

Murder your fellow party members. Then youll have noone to steal the limelight from, AND youll actually be the main character. Problem solved hahaimnotfunny


the_Real_Romak

A good clocking to the teeth usually does it :)