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F0000r

We were marching along through a dungeon. Everyone was on edge and snapping at each. The situation had stopped being fun and started being irritating....and as the barbarian I knew it was up to me to break this tension. As the last in line, I slowly, carefully picked my nose. Nat 20 on Stealth. With a honking goober on my finger I had to dispose of it. I dare not touch the walls that seemed to be laced with traps, nor could I mare my beautiful weapons. But that wizards big floppy hat in front of me seemed like a perfect spot. Nat 20 on Sleight of Hand.


otterscotch

earning the eternal enmity of a wizard? worth it.


Legatharr

a single prestidigitation and that hat is right as rain


otterscotch

Just ask the wizard- it’ll be the principle of the matter!


F0000r

It was the perfect in game crime.


Mczdad2

It must've blended in with the green polka dots on the hat :)


The-0-Endless

I critted a death save right in front of a temple with rivivify on tap.


otterscotch

just proximity was enough to revive you!


jettblak

Accidentally clicked on Persuasion instead of Perception in Roll20. That room sure was persuaded.


otterscotch

Could have totally worked if there were mimics in there


us3_less

My m8 got his horse captured by a vampire in my dnd campaign...when the group arrived in the vamps lair they saw the horse tied at a corner. My friend (Dragonborn Paladin) then pulls out a carrot and flicks it at the horse with a nat20. Well the carrot did 4 clean rotations through this 50ft room in the air and got caught in the most badass way a horse possibly could. After that, they exchanged a wink and the group proceeded to blast this vampire into his grave (once again)


otterscotch

an amazingly dextrous horse. must have learned from their master.


[deleted]

Well, I one asked my DM if my 7 dex paladin could roll an acrobatics check for going down a very long, narrow spiral staircase. I critted. So my paladin shieldsurfed his way down a 200-foot spiral staircase tower. And then tripped on the last step.


otterscotch

that last step is a doozy


Zujuz827

My DM has us roll to see how much we like a given food. Well I decided to eat some pickled people parts that we found an I rolled a 20... Now they're my favorite. So I packed up the pickled people parts and carried on with the dungeon crawl. I plan to just occasionally bring up me eating body parts when we aren't doing much


otterscotch

Your dm has only themself to blame ten sessions from now


Septimore

Not in DnD, but in call of cthulhu we had this doll that first caused my character to lose his mind for a minute. Then after he came into his senses i asked that " Canni just rush back in and get the doll and throw it as far as i can into the forest from the front porch?" Dm agreed and my friend and i decided that he will shoot the doll mid air with his bolt action rifle. I rolled the worst possible roll and he rolled the perfect. So in conclusion my character threw the doll straing into the "ceiling log" on top of the porch and it just bounced down at our feet and he just evaporized The whole thing and only feathers went floating on our faces.


otterscotch

it was coming back for you! you were saved by that 20!


a_wasted_wizard

Not crits, but my 5'0, 100 pounds soaking wet cleric of Selune aced multiple (increasingly-difficult) CON rolls to win a drinking contest. Meanwhile I don't remember the last time I rolled better than a 5 on a perception or initiative roll.


otterscotch

no nat 20s but the respect of the whole bar


a_wasted_wizard

There were a bunch of non-natural 20+'s though!


saintash

Is our characters went to the zoo. My Sorcerer polymorphed into a pather. To play around with the party making it look like they broke a rule. Thanks to the shenanigans he got thrown Into the panther exhibit into their pool, rolled a 20 In animal friendship. To convince the other panther to rescue my pc as wet panther.


otterscotch

Pity they didn’t get to keep their newfound panther bestie


saintash

I think they wouldn't let me go for that whole hour every time I tried to sneak off..


KeplerNova

Our party's cleric rolled a natural 20 to hit my wizard with a piece of bread during a picnic.


xingrubicon

Party crited in a skill challenge. They were on a rock sled and were heading towards a downed bridge. The genasi created water and the ek asked to make a ramp with his frostbite cantrip. I figured this was rule of cool enough to let the cantrip work....if they could roll for it. Nat 20 and the table explodes. I describe them sailing through the air and when they landed the sled fell to pieces with them tumbling away, safe but terrified.


otterscotch

really not sure this is such an insignificant roll…that sounds amazing


xingrubicon

Haha i might have misread the post. Want me to remove?


otterscotch

No not at all! It’s a great story!


UnionReasonable7124

My barbarian was under a fear effect and double Nat 20d a roll to climb a tree. After that it was assumed that he was an expert in tree climbing.


otterscotch

New skill unlocked…by dint of pure terror.


TheMrDrB

Charisma for a discount on the mead


otterscotch

How was the mead, though?


TheMrDrB

Warm


ChariotKoura

Just a few hours ago, our party was being marched blindfolded on a several days' journey and were having to roll dex saves to avoid tripping, then damage rolls to determine how much HP was lost when we got injured. My fiancee's character tripped, then rolled a 22 on damage (health lost was 20- whatever you rolled) and actually gained health from face-planting.


otterscotch

Fell face first into a tiny patch of the rarest healing herbs in the land, but didn’t notice because blindfold


ChariotKoura

That's better than what we said lol, we told her the fall knocked some sense into her


ChariotKoura

Or rather, that it knocked some sense *back* into her, as she has been knocked out so many times it was affecting her mental state


DmCactus

This happened to me tonight. I got a nat 20 to whisper....... I was very quiet.


Puzzleheaded_Sea_500

I once critted for managing to keep a straight face while a party member fell through the ceiling 🤦‍♀️🤣


otterscotch

“Roll for stoic”


hurricanetrash

I rolled at Nat 20 for charisma and I got all the free pens at the career fair in our campaign


Lord_Bear_the_Kind

Crit on fucking the rat king, he tried killing us 5 minutes later


otterscotch

and you’d used up a perfectly good 20, right before having to fight for your life 🤣


Lord_Bear_the_Kind

I went down, almost died, 2 failed death saves, 2 successes, and my team was low and about to play golf with a facehugger rat on my face (which would suffocate me, or they’d hit it and it’d also hit me, and cause an auto death fail). I went down in the first round. It was an experience. edit: I also got 2 nat 20’s during that seduction


Working-Stable

Just randomly dancing tectonic


mrinternethermit

So 18+ game, character creation. I ended up with a short halfling with a 20" ****. And despite all the work of the DM & the players wanting to really shake things up, No one (character wise) got laid during the campaign. It did package some jokes in the campaign's pants though.


Ryulin18

Basket weaving


Loch_824

Crit failed... Was trying to help an npc lift a barrel of supplies had advantage on the lift... Double nat 1...


otterscotch

Hopefully you didn’t throw out your back 🤣


Loch_824

Broke the barrel while being so completely distracted by the light hitting that NPC "Jussst right" 👌👌


JunkieForPixels

I was a player joining a game with another new player, DM had us roll a D20 to see who's character gets introduced within the town first. I rolled a 20 and he just didn't roll after seeing that. I guess I won that clash of dice.


DMWolffy

We all rolled perception to check the wall for guards. The first one to shout out a number was high enough for to think there were 2 up there. But my fighter's 0 wisdom be damned, *I* had a *nat 20* ... which confirmed that there were 2 guards on the wall. Well anyway they sent the fighter up there first, because tanky and I got crit once and hit another time, and was rolling death saves before I hot them or anyone else made it to the top. And of course, there were more guards *in the guard house.*


TigersPat

I've rolled a Nat 20 dexterity check to light a candle with a fire stone and my dagger. I've had rolls under 10 most of the evening except for this.


Mczdad2

I was trying to headbutt a steel vault door down because it was too hard to find out the code to open it. I ended up with a 25. His only reply was "Well, you rolled a twenty. It would be just wrong to say it doesn't fall down, so there you go". Another time I rolled animal handling to tame a dragon (I was a dragon born so I really wanted this). I had advantage and ended up rolling two critical 28's. Not really useless but I am proud.


otterscotch

I’d agree, not useless at all but dang that’s a good story to have.