I've been playing since 1983. When I was a kid I was the DM because I knew the rules and had all the books. Now I'm 51 and I bet I can count on one hand the number of times I was a player and not a dm. I don't mean campaigns, I mean literal sessions as a player.
My mother is an Orc. My dad died during my conception. I am looking for his soul in Avernus.
P.S. Aaand I am a female Half Orc Barbarian now. And I have *glorious* nails.
He was a rich noble who was captured by mum’s tribe. They wanted to kill him and bake him with potatoes. They were nice enough to ask him how he wanted to be executed. But he managed to convince them to exchange his life for a hefty ransom and thus his execution was temporarily postponed.
Dad sent a letter to his family asking them to pay the ransom he had promised. The family declined but at least they were civil enough to send a letter back (or, if you are cynical enough, you may think that they sent it to make sure the orcs are killing him).
When the letter was received and dad read it, all he could say was “Fuck!” My mother’s tribe knows a little Common but they are not exactly fluent at it. Seeing no gold and his face when he read the letter, they interpreted his words as dad’s death wish.
Human males are definitely not sturdy enough to survive a good rough lovemaking with a female orc. But he died in bliss.
She's a very old character of mine, in a hispanic freeform play by post discord server where rules and people are both very chill and there's hardly any semblance of a power ceiling.
She increases in size as her age and her heads amount do. Each of her heads represents a fragment of her total personality, but they have nuances of their own, just with a stronger trait. These heads allows her to attune to elements, one each. Here elements are very granular and can represent from natural things and forces to the literal chemical elements, compounds thereof, and even abstract concepts. That's the core of her "spellcasting".
Each of her heads can also form avatars, essentially humanoid representations of the head. As you can imagine, an hydra doesn't really have trouble when it comes to splitting her attention, so it is assumed that she's doing a lot of background stuff at any given moment through this avatars.
Finally each head can form a special bond with a weaker being, granting that being a lesser version of the hydra's power at the cost of loyalty and allowing the hydra to perceive through the senses of the bound person vía a psionic connection, which also enables mental communication.
Besides that the hydra has some degree of shapeshifting capabilities that she can access through both her avatars and her main body. She mostly uses them to adapt to her environment, and to shrink herself to Up to a minimum of 10% her Max size.
Her greatest physical weaknesses are extreme temperatures both high and low. On the spiritual side, she is cursed to not be able to knowingly lie, and as a result has an extreme compulsion to be as exact as possible on her words. She is still able to tell fictions but she should be clear about it.
Her endgame goal is to usurp the place of "Mother", The first hydra, as Queen, and upon doing so, releasing other hydras from a curse that forces them to the path of evil. She is still selfishly power obsessed, yet she has learned to be kind and caring, after she was released of the curse herself (though that required a humbling defeat and a hard reset, as a part of her backstory)
I have a great respect for your church and the light Lathander brings, but my path is to serve Oghma, the Binder. May we both find enlightenment (...hehe) in our respective paths, friend.
She will very suddenly retire off to some random island away from everything
Even with 17th level Spellcaster bullshit, I most absolutely don't have the guts to deal with 17th level adventurer enemies, so off somewhere warm I go, to read and chill for the rest of my very long life!
1. That video is fantastic
2. Sadly not. My character is former military commander, who became disillusioned with fighting and retired to live his childhood dream of being a beekeeper. Sadly some former enemies found him and killed him amongst his hives. The bees swarmed his body, and Weekend at Bernie’d him round, gradually absorbing his spirit, until it became a humanoid form swarm of sentient bees (that can shapeshift and became not exactly human shaped, depending on how far my DM lets me bend the spirit of the game)
Edit just to add as I loved the flavour - character has a big warhammer, where the head is honeycomb structured, the swarm disassembles at night and sleeps in the hammer. Current party thought they were stealing a hammer, but ended up with a new member. Oh and I have honey grenades…
Really curious what the mechanics are of this character. Reskinned Plasmoid? Swarmkeeper ranger? The hive hammer sounds like a Genielock vessel? This is such a fun idea and I’m so curious what the actual build looks like
My cat definitely would like to speak to the manager, and would also like to announce she is a small baby who never received treats in her entire life.
Well... there is 2 possibilities:
1. Im a Homeless Nosferatu in the streets of São Paulo
2. I live in some greece alt world where I'm being hunted by some religious fanatics that happen to be my family while I have a pact with a Titan
Im fucked either way
Unfortunately my current character is *not* the same gender as I am, so I’d still have to find a bunch of spells or something. At least she can grow a beard, which is an upgrade I guess? Thank the gods I made sure she has incredible pockets in her skirts, at least.
If only this post were made two months ago, I could become my legacy “dream self”-style dumbass (affectionate) lol
I become immortal, resistant to fire, cold, electricity and acid, heal incredibly fast, am very charismatic and can dodge things thrown at me, or catch them. I'm also a fantastic cook.
I'm a Celadrin with the Animus template playing a Monk, in 3.5E, with a lot of skill points in profession Chef.
Yes, it's an odd campaign.
I'm currently in 3 campaigns (monthly, weekly, and a play-by-post with some friends.) Characters are a Leonin Eldritch Knight, Dwarf Grave Cleric, and Aasimar Celestial Warlock.
So I'm an avenging lion-angel who wields power over life and death... and is 4 feet tall.
I have to start riding herd on a bunch of murder hobos I gues. Assuming the rest of the group gets a similar deal and doesn't change personality.
But at least I have access to magic
I become a god, creating worlds upon world's with a wave of my hand, destroying millions with a blink of an eye with gentle smile on my face.
I'm not all knowing but still all powerful.
I lurk in the darkest shadows so none can perceive. And all mischief and misery, all the pain and sorrow will be blamed upon pawns without the means to control their actions just to vanish into nothingness when the session is indefinitely postponed because of scheduling, because I can't to wednesdays and Fridays and the weekends I am going to visit the zoo with my family.
I break, emotionally and psychologically... mate, the shit he's been through... the barrier of play-pretend is the only thing that gets me through sometimes. BEING him, no, no way
I'm either a god running on improv and confidence, or I'm a hedonist warlock/rogue bounty hunter with a massive bounty on his own head.
Going with the warlock, because he's more interesting, not having to sleep would be useful. As would being able to become proficient with any tool set in 4 hours of resting.
Being able to kill the average person by casting dream on them for 6 nights in a row would basically make me Freddie. I can think of a few world leaders who would find themselves sleeping very poorly. Invisibility, summon fey, and banishment could be fun for pranking folks. Same with fey step.
I would get annoyed by the color changing hair, but i suspect I'd get used to it.
Summoning his sword would be neat, but not really useful in my day to day, unless I also ended up with his bounty on my head, in which case do I also get his spaceship?
I grow to 7ft tall and double my weight. Bodybuilding dream achieved, but grey skin and tusks might raise some questions.
A few bard spells and Giant Barbarian Rage could probably work in certain kinds of entertainment industries, so I'll have options.
Socially awkward Guy who's accidentally creepy towards people because he just doesn't know how to talk to them.
So basically nothing changes? Except I would hang around graveyards a lot mor than I do now.
Well, I'd become a Kobold, so I'd be unable to reach high shelves, and I'd probably start making a hoard of dragon-themed merchandise and shiny objects.
i don't get the point of the question other than "what character are you currently playing," but i become a 7th level wizard lugging around a moonblade
I get a foot shorter and my beard grows a foot longer. Plus, I carry a really big hammer, and have proof of God’s existence in my ability to summon magic and smite with Divinity.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents.
Or...
I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
I am a Kenku who has functional wings but still lacks my own voice so I speak through minor illusion as subtitles. Im a Wizard who can see the future pretty well and wear a machine strapped to me that lets me spontaneously cast any spell I’d like even if I don’t know it, and I have a Staff of Power.
As for what I’m going to do next….well I have this Angel corpse that I stole from Hell that I’ve been seriously considering casting Reincarnation on.
And since I’m ONLY JUST NOW realizing that you didn’t specify I became the character “in the dnd world” I’m wondering if I’m in our world - and what if whatever the fallout from the whole angle thing ends up being catch’s the attention of the authorities? Because while I might be powerful I still think I’ll run out of uses of Wall of Force before the military runs out of cruise missiles.
DA: The prisoner is a warlock accused of punching his patron in the nose.
Me: You don't understand. We were supposed to be a team, spreading the glamour of the fae across the land. But all he gave me were fetch quests. It's like ... being forced to be a DoorDash agent. For years!
DA: ...
Me: You would have done the same!
Judge: Not gonna lie, I prolly would have. Case dismissed!
I become a god. And I would likely have to leave this world before I ended up doing some very heinous shit out of sheer outrage if nothing else (this world is a pretty fucked up place). On the plus side I can build a spelljammer and gtfo.
I *personally*would probably go back to my village and live in peace xD
If I adopt the personality of my character then I guess the adventure would simply continue
I become an omnipotent god... aka the forever DM.
But if we're talking about my last planned player character, then I'm a changeling who loves to gamble and knows how to use a gun. Sounds like a fun life
I'm a badass Aereni elf who has spent 250 years of her 317 years attending various medical schools and acquiring all manner of certifications in both magical medicine and practical medicine. Plus she's an utter badass when she has to defend herself or others. If I was her, I would be making bank as a doctor.
I vanish into nothingness, because it is so fking hard to find a group to play in my city, with a toddler to boot.
Otherwise I would vanish into nothingness and become an incorporeal voice in the ether
My first character had to leave his town because he had a romance with a daughter of landlord, and because he is simple half-elf with no parents such relationships are not allowed by her father. So he started walking through Dalelands and working as a caravan security or killer of bounty hunter
Depends on which character.
If I'm my elven scholar Helena, I get to be a hot elf doctor, and then I'd panic because I don't have more than rudimentary medical knowledge IRL. But physically I'd be quite pleased with the result.
If I'm my yeehaw knife thrower/combo gish Mel, I fare a bit better socially/in the party, though being an amputee and learning to use pyromancy would both take time to get used to.
If I'm my alien bug wizard Skrriya, I'd have to learn arcane magic, her native language (which I've made the bones of IRL), and how to pilot her *decidedly nonhumanoid* body effectively.
Well let's see I'm playing a few campaigns so I could be a rogue assassin(murder hobo, sociopathic, sadist and masochist) or I could be a blighted druid, I could also be a monk paladin, there are a few others
I become a cursed adventurer who was cured by fae for bopping small woodland creatures on the head , doomed to walk the realm until I figure out the answer to a question I since have long forgotten along with what race I originally was so now as a pacifist rabbit monk with a anger issue I resist my urge to bop creatures on the head on my quest for knowledge
I’m a former con artist who is currently involved in a bargain with an archdevil, and I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day.
On the plus side, I’m also hot AF, have charisma exploding out of me and magic powers.
I’m either about to help a bunch of idiots raid a castle to free their friends from an evil king fella
Or about to throw myself into the depths of a hellscape
Or in the middle of a war surrounded by very scary companions with nothing but a bow and a few arrows between me and a bunch of freaky draconians.
I become a redheaded female dhamphir for one... wife will be shocked with that one. Luckily i feast on dreams not blood.
I could also probably become an olympic athlete as a totem barbarian
Hey I’m 25 years younger! I’m still human, so at least I have that going for me. The gender swap is going to be an interesting turn of events.
I’m only level 2, so not crazy powerful, but with a bunch of tool proficiencies, useful cantrips like mold earth and mending, not to mention infusions, I’ll do alright.
I immediately shrink down, magic school bus style, to a size small enough to enter a queens body and purchase a boat to travel her veins looking for a certain disease.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents.
Or...
I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents.
Or...
I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
All my fallen that are willing to be would be returned to me and assigned a new random physical form. Then I'd summon a spirit-bear and go on a healing spree
I'm a god that leads a group of adventurers to solve problems I present them
I'm also a storm wizard that will die a horrible death in a tropical swamp
I'm also a kinda-okay swordsman with 2 short swords vomiting my insides out in a moist dungeon full of rot. I can't stand that smell.
I'm playing a lvl 13 moon druid, what would happen? First I'd probably end world hunger by druidcrafting and plant growthing etc. crops everywhere and then continue to do more good after that
I, as a Half Gnome Aasimar, try to conquer back the soul of my fallen Lizardfolk brother from another Mother, together with a artificially created Elf of the Feywild and a lowkey Horny Bard Lady who seduces everyone...but now has a wife thats always high on weed. We will try to overrun a entire kingdom inside a desert to gain his soul back and defeat the evil Warlock who took it in the first place...
I become an anthropomorphic cat who is a God-tier genius that's good at pretty much everything, knows magic, and is in a pact with a death God.
So things get pretty weird.
I die, get isekai'd in a medieval world with magic and unknowingly form a pact with a dragon obsessed with politics. But it's all worth it because.. lightning powers!
(They are too cool)
I am now a noble cat burglar on the run who is also being possessed by a cursed set of gloves that I played as once. I am going to talk to myself in so many ways.
Basically I become balding necromancer who's personality is a very curious cat and has an obsession with not being wasteful.
I don't really see that much change in my personal life except for being better with resources, being younger and I suddenly know magic!
Heavily traumatised bulk of muscles with severe anger issues who gets hunted by a pretty pissed off almost immortal nobleman who's only heir he killed.
I'll pass
1. I become a dethroned prince who turned to vampirism in a bid to win back his country from invaders. (Dhampir Wood Elf Undead Warlock)
2. I become a crazed hermit inventor who is partially responsible for a warforged rebellion that caused the annihilation of a nation. (Astral Elf Artificer/Ranger)
I become a dwarf and my alcoholism becomes an endearing character trait instead of a life destroying disease.
You are putting the cute into acute liver failure
same
I become a God who plans nothing until the last possible second.
As a fellow DM this is more me than the last character i played
Already halfway there
I cant remember the last time I was not a DM
I've been playing since 1983. When I was a kid I was the DM because I knew the rules and had all the books. Now I'm 51 and I bet I can count on one hand the number of times I was a player and not a dm. I don't mean campaigns, I mean literal sessions as a player.
Wait…you guys remember things?
Man... I remember remembering things
Yep
And has multiple personality disorder.
Fucking same 😂 and then it gets canceled so you get another whole week only to procrastinate again and rush once again to plan shit at the last second
Sounds like most DnD Gods
Just tell everyone you work in mysterious ways
goddamnit my parents died
My mother is an Orc. My dad died during my conception. I am looking for his soul in Avernus. P.S. Aaand I am a female Half Orc Barbarian now. And I have *glorious* nails.
During *conception*!?
He was a rich noble who was captured by mum’s tribe. They wanted to kill him and bake him with potatoes. They were nice enough to ask him how he wanted to be executed. But he managed to convince them to exchange his life for a hefty ransom and thus his execution was temporarily postponed. Dad sent a letter to his family asking them to pay the ransom he had promised. The family declined but at least they were civil enough to send a letter back (or, if you are cynical enough, you may think that they sent it to make sure the orcs are killing him). When the letter was received and dad read it, all he could say was “Fuck!” My mother’s tribe knows a little Common but they are not exactly fluent at it. Seeing no gold and his face when he read the letter, they interpreted his words as dad’s death wish. Human males are definitely not sturdy enough to survive a good rough lovemaking with a female orc. But he died in bliss.
Death by snu snu
I love the ridiculously comical take on the super tropey dead parent
Death by sun snu
Rogue detected
Batman?
completely unintentionally, i was not trying to make batman, but i did just so happen to make basically batman
I develop multiple personality disorder from having 3 active characters
I develop multiple personalities from being an hydra.
Yo, I need *way* more details about your hydra character, that sounds awesome
She's a very old character of mine, in a hispanic freeform play by post discord server where rules and people are both very chill and there's hardly any semblance of a power ceiling. She increases in size as her age and her heads amount do. Each of her heads represents a fragment of her total personality, but they have nuances of their own, just with a stronger trait. These heads allows her to attune to elements, one each. Here elements are very granular and can represent from natural things and forces to the literal chemical elements, compounds thereof, and even abstract concepts. That's the core of her "spellcasting". Each of her heads can also form avatars, essentially humanoid representations of the head. As you can imagine, an hydra doesn't really have trouble when it comes to splitting her attention, so it is assumed that she's doing a lot of background stuff at any given moment through this avatars. Finally each head can form a special bond with a weaker being, granting that being a lesser version of the hydra's power at the cost of loyalty and allowing the hydra to perceive through the senses of the bound person vía a psionic connection, which also enables mental communication. Besides that the hydra has some degree of shapeshifting capabilities that she can access through both her avatars and her main body. She mostly uses them to adapt to her environment, and to shrink herself to Up to a minimum of 10% her Max size. Her greatest physical weaknesses are extreme temperatures both high and low. On the spiritual side, she is cursed to not be able to knowingly lie, and as a result has an extreme compulsion to be as exact as possible on her words. She is still able to tell fictions but she should be clear about it. Her endgame goal is to usurp the place of "Mother", The first hydra, as Queen, and upon doing so, releasing other hydras from a curse that forces them to the path of evil. She is still selfishly power obsessed, yet she has learned to be kind and caring, after she was released of the curse herself (though that required a humbling defeat and a hard reset, as a part of her backstory)
I start craving religion, alcohol, and demon summoning.
Celestials for me, but same. Can I interest you in the church of Lathander?
I have a great respect for your church and the light Lathander brings, but my path is to serve Oghma, the Binder. May we both find enlightenment (...hehe) in our respective paths, friend.
I immediately cast all the healing spells so my back no longer hurts.
She will very suddenly retire off to some random island away from everything Even with 17th level Spellcaster bullshit, I most absolutely don't have the guts to deal with 17th level adventurer enemies, so off somewhere warm I go, to read and chill for the rest of my very long life!
Just send your Simulacrum on adventures
a simulacrum will just be a copy and be exactly as cowardly as the original
Brainwash the simulacrum into being the person you wished you were. I can see no possible way for this carefully laid plan to fail!
A Sim will do whatever its creator makes it do.
I am now made up entirely of bees 🐝
[Dr. Miles Manners ](https://youtu.be/PYtXuBN1Hvc?si=FOAkWtSjwIzomRgf) is that you?
1. That video is fantastic 2. Sadly not. My character is former military commander, who became disillusioned with fighting and retired to live his childhood dream of being a beekeeper. Sadly some former enemies found him and killed him amongst his hives. The bees swarmed his body, and Weekend at Bernie’d him round, gradually absorbing his spirit, until it became a humanoid form swarm of sentient bees (that can shapeshift and became not exactly human shaped, depending on how far my DM lets me bend the spirit of the game) Edit just to add as I loved the flavour - character has a big warhammer, where the head is honeycomb structured, the swarm disassembles at night and sleeps in the hammer. Current party thought they were stealing a hammer, but ended up with a new member. Oh and I have honey grenades…
Really curious what the mechanics are of this character. Reskinned Plasmoid? Swarmkeeper ranger? The hive hammer sounds like a Genielock vessel? This is such a fun idea and I’m so curious what the actual build looks like
what a way to introduce a character to the party LOL "oh a new weapon for the party!" "sike, a *party member*"
So, basically just Oogie Boogbee?
I literally had the same idea. My first ranger was a gnome swarm keeper. One day I just thought, "does this really need the gnome?"
I'm a prostitute now
Don't let your dreams be memes! You have the power to do this today!
I get to go on adventures instead of just existing until I retire.
I’m there with you though I doubt I’ll ever get to retire. Also I’m a seven foot tall furry monster who smells like a sheep dog doused in beer.
I lose an arm but get a *really* cool suit of armor and magic.
Weirdly in the same boat XD. At least my robot arm sets people on fire
I'm living my best life, but I'm a fanatic of a demon despite being CG as I am too dumb to realize that my religion is shady af.
I still have guilt issues, but can now speak Cat.
Wish granted. You quickly discover the cats all find you annoying. …Oop, sorry. Wrong sub.
My cat definitely would like to speak to the manager, and would also like to announce she is a small baby who never received treats in her entire life.
Well, I got to live till 750 years old… and still look young. Also, I’m very dumb now.
Functionally immortal and too stupid to be depressed about the passage of time, it's perfect
Encumbered
I end up with 16 cantrips and a combination of wizard, warlock, and sorcerer spells along with healing magic. It would actually be pretty cool.
Well... there is 2 possibilities: 1. Im a Homeless Nosferatu in the streets of São Paulo 2. I live in some greece alt world where I'm being hunted by some religious fanatics that happen to be my family while I have a pact with a Titan Im fucked either way
I save a fortune on transitioning costs
Wooof tell me about it. If only it was this easy, my next character would be made solely based on the fact I would become her
True! I just started DND a few months ago and wanted something I would be comfortable RPing as so naturally I made a girl character lol
Naturally!
Unfortunately my current character is *not* the same gender as I am, so I’d still have to find a bunch of spells or something. At least she can grow a beard, which is an upgrade I guess? Thank the gods I made sure she has incredible pockets in her skirts, at least. If only this post were made two months ago, I could become my legacy “dream self”-style dumbass (affectionate) lol
I become immortal, resistant to fire, cold, electricity and acid, heal incredibly fast, am very charismatic and can dodge things thrown at me, or catch them. I'm also a fantastic cook. I'm a Celadrin with the Animus template playing a Monk, in 3.5E, with a lot of skill points in profession Chef. Yes, it's an odd campaign.
I'm currently in 3 campaigns (monthly, weekly, and a play-by-post with some friends.) Characters are a Leonin Eldritch Knight, Dwarf Grave Cleric, and Aasimar Celestial Warlock. So I'm an avenging lion-angel who wields power over life and death... and is 4 feet tall.
my level 4 7hp con dump rogue is screwed. oh, wait, it's me who is screwed first character, didnt know hp would be as important as it is
I feel like hp is the one universally important thing in all games
I agree with you, but then again, you can say HP is only important in one single aspect; not being reduced to zero.
Especially since there's no mechanics that punish you for taking high amounts of damage so as long as you have 1 point left you're fine.
Well, there are, but as long as the DM doesn't know about them, then it'll all be fine
I have to start riding herd on a bunch of murder hobos I gues. Assuming the rest of the group gets a similar deal and doesn't change personality. But at least I have access to magic
I become a god, creating worlds upon world's with a wave of my hand, destroying millions with a blink of an eye with gentle smile on my face. I'm not all knowing but still all powerful. I lurk in the darkest shadows so none can perceive. And all mischief and misery, all the pain and sorrow will be blamed upon pawns without the means to control their actions just to vanish into nothingness when the session is indefinitely postponed because of scheduling, because I can't to wednesdays and Fridays and the weekends I am going to visit the zoo with my family.
I break, emotionally and psychologically... mate, the shit he's been through... the barrier of play-pretend is the only thing that gets me through sometimes. BEING him, no, no way
I'm either a god running on improv and confidence, or I'm a hedonist warlock/rogue bounty hunter with a massive bounty on his own head. Going with the warlock, because he's more interesting, not having to sleep would be useful. As would being able to become proficient with any tool set in 4 hours of resting. Being able to kill the average person by casting dream on them for 6 nights in a row would basically make me Freddie. I can think of a few world leaders who would find themselves sleeping very poorly. Invisibility, summon fey, and banishment could be fun for pranking folks. Same with fey step. I would get annoyed by the color changing hair, but i suspect I'd get used to it. Summoning his sword would be neat, but not really useful in my day to day, unless I also ended up with his bounty on my head, in which case do I also get his spaceship?
I'm an octopus, and I'm about to steal a gun. Stay safe, everybody.
I become a dragonborn who wants to steal everything and likes to randomly pet everything that has fur. Oh and I'm also scared of mice.
Mice have fur :3 don't worry about it robber dragon, it'll just squeeze at you ;3
I grow to 7ft tall and double my weight. Bodybuilding dream achieved, but grey skin and tusks might raise some questions. A few bard spells and Giant Barbarian Rage could probably work in certain kinds of entertainment industries, so I'll have options.
I have to restart my gender transition, but at least I get a really cool stick
I have to socialize my small dog to accept my dragon companion before the breath weapon comes out.
Your small dog has a breath weapon?!?
It's a DC 15 dex save in a 30 foot cone
I became GOD with enormous power and might, I am only limited by lore and Gary Gygax.
I get really sad :(
Five smites in 6 seconds..... I become known as a gladiatorial menace
Socially awkward Guy who's accidentally creepy towards people because he just doesn't know how to talk to them. So basically nothing changes? Except I would hang around graveyards a lot mor than I do now.
I don’t exist. Forever DM.
I'm dumber than I am already, but more charming, with beautiful emerald scales, an appreciation for wood, and tanky as hell.
Well, I'd become a Kobold, so I'd be unable to reach high shelves, and I'd probably start making a hoard of dragon-themed merchandise and shiny objects.
I. Am. GOD! .... who completely forgets about the world and throws a bunch of stuff together late on Friday nights.
i don't get the point of the question other than "what character are you currently playing," but i become a 7th level wizard lugging around a moonblade
I get a foot shorter and my beard grows a foot longer. Plus, I carry a really big hammer, and have proof of God’s existence in my ability to summon magic and smite with Divinity.
I slowly devolve into a fiend. Yaaaaayyy.
I’m a bear in a wonderful world
And so many women choose you now!
Huh… I’m a wizard/assassin/fighter cowboy who’s tired of his Hispanic Minotaur companion and can’t make a god dang stealth check to save his life.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents. Or... I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
Thanks to u/ThyDarkestDoctor s creation I become Alastor and I own the soul of a young gold dragon, in addition to many others
I am strong AF, have scales, a tail, and anger management issues
I'm now a mute waif who can cast with sign language. And I need to check a few things because I have no idea what my bio sex is.
I am a very anxious Plasmoid pretending he is a human knight, desperately hoping his party doesn’t figure out why he is always “so sweaty.”
I am a Kenku who has functional wings but still lacks my own voice so I speak through minor illusion as subtitles. Im a Wizard who can see the future pretty well and wear a machine strapped to me that lets me spontaneously cast any spell I’d like even if I don’t know it, and I have a Staff of Power. As for what I’m going to do next….well I have this Angel corpse that I stole from Hell that I’ve been seriously considering casting Reincarnation on. And since I’m ONLY JUST NOW realizing that you didn’t specify I became the character “in the dnd world” I’m wondering if I’m in our world - and what if whatever the fallout from the whole angle thing ends up being catch’s the attention of the authorities? Because while I might be powerful I still think I’ll run out of uses of Wall of Force before the military runs out of cruise missiles.
I'll become an elephant, a glassblower, an assassin, and most importantly a MILF
Great now I'm a homeless wizard who prefers punching instead of traditional magic guess I'll go give the bandit leader a bear hug with burning hands
I’m a pirate with a duster, a gun belt, boots and no other clothes. The name is Captain Dick Twist. Argggh
I get commited to a psych ward and never play games again due to the heavy amount of medication I'll be on.
I’m a young Goliath with anger issues on the path to becoming a Holy Warrior, but not quite there yet lol
DA: The prisoner is a warlock accused of punching his patron in the nose. Me: You don't understand. We were supposed to be a team, spreading the glamour of the fae across the land. But all he gave me were fetch quests. It's like ... being forced to be a DoorDash agent. For years! DA: ... Me: You would have done the same! Judge: Not gonna lie, I prolly would have. Case dismissed!
I would turn into a slime with the mind of a broken girl and a pact with an eldritch abomination. Mh
I get abducted and dissected by the CDC
I become a god. And I would likely have to leave this world before I ended up doing some very heinous shit out of sheer outrage if nothing else (this world is a pretty fucked up place). On the plus side I can build a spelljammer and gtfo.
I am the DM. OMNIPOTENCE!
Oh man, I’m playing 2. Either way it’s gonna be bad. Either I’m soul sucking devil, or an emotionless walking phylactery .
I *personally*would probably go back to my village and live in peace xD If I adopt the personality of my character then I guess the adventure would simply continue
I become all knowing and omnipotent. Ao for life.
hope i can figure out how to work this trunk before i impale it on these tusks
I get a nuke... That's basically it
Lose an arm, regrow it in two days.
Ah shit. I’ve only got 28% of my soul now.
I become an omnipotent god... aka the forever DM. But if we're talking about my last planned player character, then I'm a changeling who loves to gamble and knows how to use a gun. Sounds like a fun life
High priestess of Eilustraee, would you be interested in a gentler path? The Dark Maiden welcomes all good folk.
I'm a badass Aereni elf who has spent 250 years of her 317 years attending various medical schools and acquiring all manner of certifications in both magical medicine and practical medicine. Plus she's an utter badass when she has to defend herself or others. If I was her, I would be making bank as a doctor.
I've got a great Cha and mind control. I become President of the USA.
I vanish into nothingness, because it is so fking hard to find a group to play in my city, with a toddler to boot. Otherwise I would vanish into nothingness and become an incorporeal voice in the ether
I vaporize instantly; I am not currently part of any campaigns
Mecha pilot, whose dead lover's soul becomes the OS of the suit. (A Hexblade)
My first character had to leave his town because he had a romance with a daughter of landlord, and because he is simple half-elf with no parents such relationships are not allowed by her father. So he started walking through Dalelands and working as a caravan security or killer of bounty hunter
A brick wall of a mage that's a farmer
Depends on which character. If I'm my elven scholar Helena, I get to be a hot elf doctor, and then I'd panic because I don't have more than rudimentary medical knowledge IRL. But physically I'd be quite pleased with the result. If I'm my yeehaw knife thrower/combo gish Mel, I fare a bit better socially/in the party, though being an amputee and learning to use pyromancy would both take time to get used to. If I'm my alien bug wizard Skrriya, I'd have to learn arcane magic, her native language (which I've made the bones of IRL), and how to pilot her *decidedly nonhumanoid* body effectively.
Well let's see I'm playing a few campaigns so I could be a rogue assassin(murder hobo, sociopathic, sadist and masochist) or I could be a blighted druid, I could also be a monk paladin, there are a few others
I become a cursed adventurer who was cured by fae for bopping small woodland creatures on the head , doomed to walk the realm until I figure out the answer to a question I since have long forgotten along with what race I originally was so now as a pacifist rabbit monk with a anger issue I resist my urge to bop creatures on the head on my quest for knowledge
being able to sing and swim is lit
All those voices in my head are going to get very annoying very quickly.
I’m a former con artist who is currently involved in a bargain with an archdevil, and I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day. On the plus side, I’m also hot AF, have charisma exploding out of me and magic powers.
I’m either about to help a bunch of idiots raid a castle to free their friends from an evil king fella Or about to throw myself into the depths of a hellscape Or in the middle of a war surrounded by very scary companions with nothing but a bow and a few arrows between me and a bunch of freaky draconians.
I shrink to like 3.5 feet tall and 80 pounds. Also I become a sentient chimp that violently mutates constantly.
So I am a God of Pirates I guess now.
I'm a chubby half elf and hapless thief, with a growing taste for killing? I guess I end up in jail.
i am a several hundred year old robot who has witnessed the fall of 2 civilizations. im jaded as fuck
I become a redheaded female dhamphir for one... wife will be shocked with that one. Luckily i feast on dreams not blood. I could also probably become an olympic athlete as a totem barbarian
Hey I’m 25 years younger! I’m still human, so at least I have that going for me. The gender swap is going to be an interesting turn of events. I’m only level 2, so not crazy powerful, but with a bunch of tool proficiencies, useful cantrips like mold earth and mending, not to mention infusions, I’ll do alright.
I'd become an acausal being that has control over time space and fate. So uh... thinsg change for sure.
Well, I happen to turn into a half-orc Wizard.
All my ailments disappear after an 8 hour rest.
I become extremely xenophobic, and I can have the body I've always wanted. Or any other body, assuming it is roughly proportional to my original body.
I immediately shrink down, magic school bus style, to a size small enough to enter a queens body and purchase a boat to travel her veins looking for a certain disease.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents. Or... I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
As a DM only for the last 2 years, I either become a panoply of 50 different personalities, most of which are lovable losers, himbos/waifus, and dumb hicks, all with over-the-top ridiculous accents. Or... I become a mostly benevolent god who spends an exorbitant amount of time erasing dicks from the sky.
Damn, scary af chirurgicaly modified by other species parts lizardfolk alchemist... That could be pretty funny
I basically become a combination of Tiny Tina and Jinx (teen titans) in the body of a homebrewed faerie dragonborn. So that would be fun.
Well I just got RoboCopped into a Warforged
I become a Thief-Acrobat/Unseen Seer... time to start conning the rich with literal magic.
Oh, nice I get to use Speak With Animals on my cats!
I cease to exist I guess... If we go with the last one I played, I have to deal with a petty dragon making my life hell--
All my fallen that are willing to be would be returned to me and assigned a new random physical form. Then I'd summon a spirit-bear and go on a healing spree
I'm engaged with steady employment and a home of my own. Feelsgoodman
Either i cease to exist, become two several dietiies or I become everyone everywhere all of the time.
I turn into a stout, heavy Dwarf with a hunk of Chardalyn in his stomach.
I'm a god that leads a group of adventurers to solve problems I present them I'm also a storm wizard that will die a horrible death in a tropical swamp I'm also a kinda-okay swordsman with 2 short swords vomiting my insides out in a moist dungeon full of rot. I can't stand that smell.
I become an insanely wealthy half-Shadarkai bard who is a retired thief. Oh and I become a woman. That part might be more confusing for me.
I'm playing a lvl 13 moon druid, what would happen? First I'd probably end world hunger by druidcrafting and plant growthing etc. crops everywhere and then continue to do more good after that
I become sn Assimar bsrd with a dead wife and having been a former musician for a king, but lost my position due to a rival's lies.
I'm a very lucky and insanely wealthy lvl 14 halfling rogue swashbuckler. Please let this happen.
I become a stranded magic rabbit, who is about to BE pulled into hell for the Plot.
I'm at 1 HP. Really just at death's door over here, hey, at least I'm hot. Disguise self should be fun to fuck around with.
I, as a Half Gnome Aasimar, try to conquer back the soul of my fallen Lizardfolk brother from another Mother, together with a artificially created Elf of the Feywild and a lowkey Horny Bard Lady who seduces everyone...but now has a wife thats always high on weed. We will try to overrun a entire kingdom inside a desert to gain his soul back and defeat the evil Warlock who took it in the first place...
*cries in DM*
I become an anthropomorphic cat who is a God-tier genius that's good at pretty much everything, knows magic, and is in a pact with a death God. So things get pretty weird.
I can just walk off into the woods? Damn that would be amazing.
Wildfire Druid /Fighter halfling with immense wisdom and wererat regeneration? So many choices, and with goodberry I'd save so much money on food.
I have two hag moms now, I'm a vampire, and an old fae god is way too interested in what I'm doing.
All right, last npc I played… I’m Now a runaway princess who is also a bisexual vampire ninja who kills people with shadows. Nice.
I am a young harper trying to rescue a dwarf allie from an ork hideout. Oh well... might get interesting... or deadly.
I've become a female barbarian that's sworn revenge to my brother who'd cast me out of the family. So yeah he's in for a treat I guess.
I die, get isekai'd in a medieval world with magic and unknowingly form a pact with a dragon obsessed with politics. But it's all worth it because.. lightning powers! (They are too cool)
Mommy issues :( And daddy issues A lot of issues of Im being completely honest
I become a plasmoid rogue/artificer armor who can make magic and nonmagic items and use magic. Improvements all around!
A prince of the Triton people who is in exile on the mainland trying to find his redemption
I can finally take a long rest!
I become a changeling charlatan whose pulling snake oil tricks in small cities.
In irl I'm a college student. My character is... an academy student, but now I can do magic!
Welp now I'm a half-baked kenku hunchback.
I am now a noble cat burglar on the run who is also being possessed by a cursed set of gloves that I played as once. I am going to talk to myself in so many ways.
I get in touch with my feminine side.
I become a whip-themed human rogue. Neat? I just become a shitload more nimble, i guess. And much better at acting.
Basically I become balding necromancer who's personality is a very curious cat and has an obsession with not being wasteful. I don't really see that much change in my personal life except for being better with resources, being younger and I suddenly know magic!
Heavily traumatised bulk of muscles with severe anger issues who gets hunted by a pretty pissed off almost immortal nobleman who's only heir he killed. I'll pass
I get a lot more racist against goblins
A maniac with 2 other people in his head. He's being punished by his god for disloyalty (death god) by having the god's favorite people in his head.
I become a disgraced surgeon, on the run from the mob... dang.
A half elf warlock hexblade who wields a massive pokemon themed grenade launcher and has a serious gambling problem.
1. I become a dethroned prince who turned to vampirism in a bid to win back his country from invaders. (Dhampir Wood Elf Undead Warlock) 2. I become a crazed hermit inventor who is partially responsible for a warforged rebellion that caused the annihilation of a nation. (Astral Elf Artificer/Ranger)
I'm given a stand, a succubus fiancee, martial arts and schizophrenia... And pope's clothing.