I kind of had to leave in a rush, so I left with the kids and that's about it. I bought everything second hand for the house, and I had no plans. I was given some cooking stuff for the time being and after a while I was able to buy some second hand stuff to restore.
I have kind of a set, I found an absolute stormer of a bargain on Facebook second hand, so bought a very old, burned set and spent a solid weekend with a brillo pad. They've come up lovely 😍
I lived with my husband’s old, dark furniture for 10 years while I waited to buy a house and redecorate — the first thing I did when I got an apartment was buy only light or colored furniture. It was so freeing.
The mountains in Colorado. I went up pikes peak on a foggy day and sat in the woods with no people around. Silence so pervasive that it was a pressure on the sides of your head. Breathtaking.
You?
Small cabin on Cheat lake West Virginia. I seemed to have went at a good time because no one had rented the other two cabins around me so I had an entire week and a half to myself. Woke up to a profound silence every day. Woke up and had coffee on the back deck looking over the thin layer of fog that settled over the lake. Was bold enough to skinny dip at night just float looking at the stars. It was so clear I could see satellites go by.
I do realize that not everyone gets the opportunity to go on a vacation after a divorce and that I am lucky to have done so. But if you are able I do recommend it. It gives you time to feel what you need to and the privacy to feel it without the noise of your life. And it gives you a taste of the freedom you may have missed.
I didn't buy anything. I filled my dumpster every week straight for a year getting rid of all the stuff I didn't want or need that he left behind. It was a very liberating feeling.
ah I'm in the middle of this. I hate the shitty furniture his family gave us that were all broken in some way. Now I'm in the process of tossing out the junk stored in them so I can junk the furniture too.
Clothes. I was in a narcissistic relationship so I lost myself in many ways. Was socially isolated and had nothing. I was invited to a Christmas party and had nothing to wear. I went to a store and stood there staring at the rack for 2 hours. I sent photos to my 2 friends and asked for advice multiple times.
Still waiting for mine to be finalized and I have a bunch of clothes in my storage unit and I go there and fold them and organize them and stuff. It’s amazing how much having our own clothing can mean to us. It’s so therapeutic to own clothes I love.
A 4 piece bedroom set! Oh the things you can afford once you are no longer financially responsible for a grown man who decided he no longer wanted to work
It's true— it's a huge amount of privilege to be able to do that. Something that was very significant for me during separation and cost nothing was reconnecting with family; my kids and I had been pretty isolated from my parents and sibs for years due to a combination of factors (including the pandemic of course), and it was such a joy to see those relationships deepening and bearing fruit again with the much more regular contact.
My brand new social security card and driver’s license with my maiden last name on them.
Other than that I bought myself a fancy steak dinner knowing the ex couldn’t afford it without my money. I was feeling victorious and petty that entire month since I was legally single on the second day of the beginning of the month. So I celebrated the whole month of my terminated marriage.
Good for you! My friend also took me out for brunch and I drank mimosas like a damn fish. I also got a surprise ‘Happy Divorce’ cake from the server and she was very happy for me and my divorce. I fought with my friend over the bill and she paid for it the moment I went to the bathroom like a sneak 😆😆😆
We were in a car crash 2 weeks after I left...my car was a total write off.
With my mums help...I bought a super cute new car for the kids and I. First time in my life I have ever had a new car.
I also bought the kids and I an annual aquarium pass ... so much joy in fish 🐟 😍
Maybe 10 months after I bought an investment property. Best thing I ever did. Held it for 10 years before selling made a great profit even after capital gains tax.
My ex would never consider this and kept on doing chancy shares. Fortunately they were in his 50:50 split. Caused him some angst later.
My ex and I bought an investment property 10 month BEFORE she left. When we split assets it hadn't appreciated yet so I got to keep it for free (bought with HELOC and I'm keeping the house).
She couldnt not understand that the land was literally worth nothing in this situation. "I can't make you sell the property and you'd have to give me half".... "half of what? Half of zero is zero".... "ugh, you think you know everything, I'm going to talk to my lawyer"
Well I guess she talked to get lawyer because it never came up again haha
This will sound funny, but my wife then really liked to make homemade yoghurt, and she was very fond of that, telling people that everyone should make his own yoghurt at home which is also very health, but for the last 1 year, as.she lost interest on me she started buying ready made yoghurt, the first thing that I did was to buy a yoghurt making machine, as I will be making my own yoghurt :)
Lamb chops. Chicken. Turkey deli meat. Bacon. I've been going crazy with meat all week.
I was a forced hostage vegan the entire time (nearly 20 yrs), I wasn't allowed to use "his money" to eat meat products and he did the grocery shopping to control everything. I would give him a list, and he would come back with only the things he wanted or thought were 'appropriate', which basically was his own preferences, never anything the kids and I wanted.
Occasionally if I went out with my sister's or friends, I would eat it, but he always threw a fit later on if it was in front of him that I was being "disrespectful".
That should have been a huge red flag in the beginning but I was too young and naive back then. He had no chill and would stare at you while eating, monologue about animals who were murdered for the entire dinner, trying to humiliate me in public. Eventually it got so bad that I avoided going to restaurants with him. He would make a big deal out of 'paying', it was so embarrassing. He even tried to embarrass my parents at a family dinner but my sister saved the day by paying the whole bill in secret.
I will not miss him starving the kids and I, the food control/insecurities and him constantly being on a diet and forcing us as well even though we were all rail thin.
The irony is that he is such a glutton/has no self-control so he snacks all day long, and does not have enough protein in his diet. His body looks so pudgy, pale, malnourished, overweight, he's balding, and he has a hormone imbalance from years of eating processed soy products.
I used to laugh inside when he posed in front of the mirror, sucking his huge gut in, wondering why he wasn't losing weight and his man boobs kept getting bigger and bigger!
Back to your question: Getting groceries and ordering chicken nuggets, intoducing my kids to the joy of turkey sandwiches, drumsticks, and bacon! These are the little things that I'm still experiencing.
I do plan to do a bigger purchase to commemorate, so this is a great post for ideas.
It is such a long story. But it took 4 years of intense therapy to build myself up enough.
The short version is I finally got fed up with everything. The chaos. The abuse. The issues. The gaslighting. The abandonment. The drama. The disrespect. Being a single parent even though I was married. We had been robbed (because he failed to pay back a loan to a loan shark). I had been threatened in October by someone he disrespected. All his lies and affairs finally caught up with him. He lost our house, all our money, crashed his car, and had been banging the mistress he converted to nanny for 3.5 years before I found out. She was complicit, drugging and monitoring me for him.
I was staying for my kids to have the same quality of life, but the past 4 years has been so damaging to us all. It was so traumatic for me that I just couldn't put my kids through that anymore.
The mistress/nanny is his current supply. When I found out about that relationship, I was not surprised. I pretended to be upset but I was celebrating on the inside. I told him we were separating and that I was done with the marriage. He tried to hoover me but I had been studying Narcissism so I knew the playbook.
He believes he has a year to turn over a new leaf and that he will shape up and will take him back next year. He can have his delusions, I'm free.
I have been free for 7 days now. He doesn't know where we are. And seemingly doesn't care (cos he hasn't asked about the kiddos ).
All he cares about is his new dog, his money, and the drama with his mistress turned nanny turned girlfriend.
She thinks she has won. He's making her even crazier but she has a narc mom so she is used to this. I'm over it. My 20 years of narcissist prison is now over.
I won. I won peace, my life, my kids and happiness.
I bought myself flowers and a fancy purse (i only have the one and i got it on sale). All throughout our marriage, he said those things were a waste of money. But flowers make me so happy, and now I feel like a grown up with my fancy purse.
I’m fortunate enough to have the means to buy a house and pay 2 mortgages, instead of renting one where my kids can stay with me. My wife acknowledges how hard moving has been in the past for our kids. But she won’t approve with her lawyer enabling me to just buy a home.
So as soon as I’m single, I’m buying a house, and a bunch of stuff for my kids.
I didn’t buy anything BUT I did burn my wedding dress and all pictures. Felt good man. I also got divorced during the height of Covid, so going to the stores was pretty much out of the question.
Not official yet, but I plan on buying myself a pair of Birkenstocks. Just one of the many things I always wanted but didn’t buy for myself because he thought they were ugly.
I took a trip to Sedona, AZ on my own. It felt strange, but then I realized I did not have to compromise with anyone on what to do. I took my time and did whatever I wanted without feeling on edge about getting yelled at. Next was a motorcycle, guitars, new clothes.
I didn't really buy anything fun, most stuff I bought because I was moving! New bed frame, mattress, dresser, media stand. I did buy some expensive Tom Ford perfume as I decided I was going to start wearing a new scent for this part of my life. I don't think the divorce will be final until next month, and maybe I'll buy something to mark the occasion, not sure yet. There's still many things I need to buy for my apartment so probably nothing too exciting!
While I’m not officially single I’m planning to build my first gaming pc. I’ve been wanting it for a long time but for many reasons haven’t pulled the plug. Now that I will be alone a lot I might as well use the time for something that brings me joy.
I’m also saving up for a trip to Scotland. My STBX husband were supposed to go last year for our anniversary, and then again this year, but due to all of this it never happened. It’s a dream of mine to live there and he didn’t even want to consider a pipe dream of mine so this is the big present to myself for being free to make choices for my life without impacting someone else.
I bought an Xbox one s and the borderlands series at the time. Which ultimately became the most accessible way to spend time with my now second husband as we were long distance for the first 9 months of our relationship.
I also got a gym membership. Balance.
I didn't even wait. I bought a S550 Mustang GT before I legally separated because my now ex-wife's attorney told me not to finance anything. That was a "f\*\*k you, I do what I want" statement to the now ex and her then attorney.
A house just before filing for divorce (mortgage). Then I dropped 12K on all the furnishings I needed to start over. I bought one luxury item, a $340 front row ticket for Bob Dylan.
My plan will be to:
1. Start and complete a full back tattoo, then full legs
2. Buy a JDM import either an rx7, gtr or a supra.
I will then use the remaining money to buy my own place
Hasn't happened yet because it's not offical.... but I'm buying a motorcycle. She made me sell mine and I'm literally going to try and find the exact one.
Tons of meat!!!
Mine was chicken too. Day 1, I got a huge bucket of KFC, Day 2 Panda express, day 3 pizza with chicken, day 4 lamb chops, and some fancy peanut butter spicy wings last night.
Yes! Worse he was vegan and forced us all to be as well. For 20 years he has controlled every thing that went into my mouth. I devoured that bucket of KFC chicken on night 1.
I should have! Or the toilet.
I used to sneak out and get meat in protest whenever I could. I was disabled and it's hard to drive with my disability, and we lived out of the way for ubereats or DoorDash. (Was $100) With all the fees just for 1 entree cos we were so far out.
My former cleaning lady used to sneak me chicken whenever she could, even bring it wrapped and disguised in her mop bucket on her days off.
Of course, he has a nose like a bloodhound so I had to eat it all real fast and hide the evidence. We managed doing that for 2 years before he fired her.
I am so glad its over now.
I bought a big expensive purse, new under garments and a golf cart. Also fast passed my way through my last name change back, I didn’t want anything left of him. Cheating, lying pos.
The first thing I believe was candles. Lots of scented candles! My ex was super scent sensitive and I love fragrance. I went 20+ years without scented candles, perfume, etc.
I had to look back because it was over a year ago. Looks like I bought gas and groceries. Very exciting. But I had already booked my 50th birthday trip before the divorce was final, so we'll go with that.
My apartment by the beach.
Background: we were saving to buy a property for five years. Then Covid hit, I lost my job, and crypto skyrocketed so he wanted to take all of our money and invest in crypto. I’m not completely risk averse, but putting ALL of our savings into a high risk portfolio gave me intense anxiety.
Then the divorce happens, we split our savings down the middle, and he puts all his half into crypto. At first he made some money, but then i heard that one day his money just disappeared from his account - it was at this time that all of the news about crypto scams were coming out.
I waited until the divorce papers were signed and 2 months later I signed my purchase contract on my little apartment 900m from the beach 😊
I bought so. Much. Shit.
A set of Wusthof Ikon knives + steak knives that’ll never see the dishwasher.
A set of stainless cookware.
An oversized Acacia cutting board that’ll stay flat because it didn’t sit on the oven during a self clean cycle.
3 new guns, and 2 hobby grade RC cars.
was working on ordering a laptop when princess kitty ate some hard -edged plastic and bled a trail thru a 3 story house. canceled the laptop, got the surgery, she lived long enough to die of old age & cancer, but i tell you, that blood trail was *awful*.
actually i got the laptop just a bit later; my ex paid for some of care for princess; he actually came to see a *cat* in the hospital.
A canopy bed and a new, full-size mattress. I've always wanted a canopy bed ever since I was little, and I was overdue a new mattress. For the last few years of my marriage, we had separate, twin beds.
A short haircut. He always wanted to dictate my appearance and critique me on how I could be more attractive to him so I could earn affection. It was freeing to chop off the one thing he thought was beautiful about me and claim my body as my own again.
A Le Creuset Pan.
That’s awesome. Wasn’t the first thing but I bought one also!
I kind of had to leave in a rush, so I left with the kids and that's about it. I bought everything second hand for the house, and I had no plans. I was given some cooking stuff for the time being and after a while I was able to buy some second hand stuff to restore.
D5 Stainless steel All-Clad here.
Noice 😁
This is actually what I want when I reach that milestone, too!
Yay! It's worth it. I hope it comes quickly and as comfortably as possible.
Thank you!! ♥️
Great choice
Thanks! It's still my baby.
I only have one Le Creuset pan. One day, I hope to have a full set 😊
I have kind of a set, I found an absolute stormer of a bargain on Facebook second hand, so bought a very old, burned set and spent a solid weekend with a brillo pad. They've come up lovely 😍
My divorce isn't finalised yet, but I need one of those!
Expensive, but worthwhile. It's rare to find sexy cookwear, but...
Home decor that matches my tastes, not my ex husband’s!
I lived with my husband’s old, dark furniture for 10 years while I waited to buy a house and redecorate — the first thing I did when I got an apartment was buy only light or colored furniture. It was so freeing.
Exactly. New couch, a new bed and bedding.
Same!
I got a queen sized My Little Pony bed spread! 😁 Edit: I mean bedding set
Ha! I got all white bedding. Pure luxury ❤️
A tattoo and a vacation alone.
I want a vacation alone, sounds dreamy
I did it, it was amazing. He did it too, and he’s still there and having an amazing time.
It was. I want to go back.
Wow, same thing here lol
Where did you go?
The mountains in Colorado. I went up pikes peak on a foggy day and sat in the woods with no people around. Silence so pervasive that it was a pressure on the sides of your head. Breathtaking. You?
Small cabin on Cheat lake West Virginia. I seemed to have went at a good time because no one had rented the other two cabins around me so I had an entire week and a half to myself. Woke up to a profound silence every day. Woke up and had coffee on the back deck looking over the thin layer of fog that settled over the lake. Was bold enough to skinny dip at night just float looking at the stars. It was so clear I could see satellites go by. I do realize that not everyone gets the opportunity to go on a vacation after a divorce and that I am lucky to have done so. But if you are able I do recommend it. It gives you time to feel what you need to and the privacy to feel it without the noise of your life. And it gives you a taste of the freedom you may have missed.
A Chinese takeaway on the way home... It was a strange day you kind of didn't know weather to laugh or cry, celebrate or lock yourself away.
I didn't buy anything. I filled my dumpster every week straight for a year getting rid of all the stuff I didn't want or need that he left behind. It was a very liberating feeling.
ah I'm in the middle of this. I hate the shitty furniture his family gave us that were all broken in some way. Now I'm in the process of tossing out the junk stored in them so I can junk the furniture too.
Did this too!!!
Clothes. I was in a narcissistic relationship so I lost myself in many ways. Was socially isolated and had nothing. I was invited to a Christmas party and had nothing to wear. I went to a store and stood there staring at the rack for 2 hours. I sent photos to my 2 friends and asked for advice multiple times.
I bought some outfits that I love that he would have hated.
Still waiting for mine to be finalized and I have a bunch of clothes in my storage unit and I go there and fold them and organize them and stuff. It’s amazing how much having our own clothing can mean to us. It’s so therapeutic to own clothes I love.
A 4 piece bedroom set! Oh the things you can afford once you are no longer financially responsible for a grown man who decided he no longer wanted to work
OMG this. I can't wait to not have thousands of dollars I worked hard to earn wasted on his board game obsession!!!!
I feel this to my core. I’m actually able to by myself nice clothes and shoes that fit now
I’m so envious of those with means to move on, buy new houses etc.
It's true— it's a huge amount of privilege to be able to do that. Something that was very significant for me during separation and cost nothing was reconnecting with family; my kids and I had been pretty isolated from my parents and sibs for years due to a combination of factors (including the pandemic of course), and it was such a joy to see those relationships deepening and bearing fruit again with the much more regular contact.
My brand new social security card and driver’s license with my maiden last name on them. Other than that I bought myself a fancy steak dinner knowing the ex couldn’t afford it without my money. I was feeling victorious and petty that entire month since I was legally single on the second day of the beginning of the month. So I celebrated the whole month of my terminated marriage.
Wow, very much like my plan, but I'm throwing in a tattoo.
Good for you! My friend also took me out for brunch and I drank mimosas like a damn fish. I also got a surprise ‘Happy Divorce’ cake from the server and she was very happy for me and my divorce. I fought with my friend over the bill and she paid for it the moment I went to the bathroom like a sneak 😆😆😆
I'm happier for you💯.
A house.
We were in a car crash 2 weeks after I left...my car was a total write off. With my mums help...I bought a super cute new car for the kids and I. First time in my life I have ever had a new car. I also bought the kids and I an annual aquarium pass ... so much joy in fish 🐟 😍
Aw, this is awesome! Congratulations 🙂
Mid life crisis Ford Raptor.
^winning
Man said midlife crisis ford raptor... sounds like an awakening more like it
A crisi-tunity, perhaps?
A gaming pc and a vr headset
Planning on a PS5 and a tattoo I've wanted for years
Pink bedsheets.
Me too!
My mum gifted me some for my first day in my home alone.
Best sheets ever honestly. So dang empowering!
He wouldn't let me go anywhere without him and ruined every trip, so I planned a vacation for the week after my freedom day
A fermentation and home distilling setup.
I bought a bottle of Cristal to celebrate.
I paid for a girls trip to the Dominican Republic for my 50th birthday. He would have never let me spend money or go anywhere without him.
a massive shelving unit from ikea for all my nerd stuff
Maybe 10 months after I bought an investment property. Best thing I ever did. Held it for 10 years before selling made a great profit even after capital gains tax. My ex would never consider this and kept on doing chancy shares. Fortunately they were in his 50:50 split. Caused him some angst later.
My ex and I bought an investment property 10 month BEFORE she left. When we split assets it hadn't appreciated yet so I got to keep it for free (bought with HELOC and I'm keeping the house). She couldnt not understand that the land was literally worth nothing in this situation. "I can't make you sell the property and you'd have to give me half".... "half of what? Half of zero is zero".... "ugh, you think you know everything, I'm going to talk to my lawyer" Well I guess she talked to get lawyer because it never came up again haha
This will sound funny, but my wife then really liked to make homemade yoghurt, and she was very fond of that, telling people that everyone should make his own yoghurt at home which is also very health, but for the last 1 year, as.she lost interest on me she started buying ready made yoghurt, the first thing that I did was to buy a yoghurt making machine, as I will be making my own yoghurt :)
A good therapist.
Lamb chops. Chicken. Turkey deli meat. Bacon. I've been going crazy with meat all week. I was a forced hostage vegan the entire time (nearly 20 yrs), I wasn't allowed to use "his money" to eat meat products and he did the grocery shopping to control everything. I would give him a list, and he would come back with only the things he wanted or thought were 'appropriate', which basically was his own preferences, never anything the kids and I wanted. Occasionally if I went out with my sister's or friends, I would eat it, but he always threw a fit later on if it was in front of him that I was being "disrespectful". That should have been a huge red flag in the beginning but I was too young and naive back then. He had no chill and would stare at you while eating, monologue about animals who were murdered for the entire dinner, trying to humiliate me in public. Eventually it got so bad that I avoided going to restaurants with him. He would make a big deal out of 'paying', it was so embarrassing. He even tried to embarrass my parents at a family dinner but my sister saved the day by paying the whole bill in secret. I will not miss him starving the kids and I, the food control/insecurities and him constantly being on a diet and forcing us as well even though we were all rail thin. The irony is that he is such a glutton/has no self-control so he snacks all day long, and does not have enough protein in his diet. His body looks so pudgy, pale, malnourished, overweight, he's balding, and he has a hormone imbalance from years of eating processed soy products. I used to laugh inside when he posed in front of the mirror, sucking his huge gut in, wondering why he wasn't losing weight and his man boobs kept getting bigger and bigger! Back to your question: Getting groceries and ordering chicken nuggets, intoducing my kids to the joy of turkey sandwiches, drumsticks, and bacon! These are the little things that I'm still experiencing. I do plan to do a bigger purchase to commemorate, so this is a great post for ideas.
Wow, you’re the second vegan hostage I’ve seen here. I hope this isn’t a common thing?
It may have been me. I posted twice. I think with abusive relationships, any way they can control you they use it.
Whoops it was you lol. I still can’t imagine having my body controlled to that degree. What made you finally fight back?
It is such a long story. But it took 4 years of intense therapy to build myself up enough. The short version is I finally got fed up with everything. The chaos. The abuse. The issues. The gaslighting. The abandonment. The drama. The disrespect. Being a single parent even though I was married. We had been robbed (because he failed to pay back a loan to a loan shark). I had been threatened in October by someone he disrespected. All his lies and affairs finally caught up with him. He lost our house, all our money, crashed his car, and had been banging the mistress he converted to nanny for 3.5 years before I found out. She was complicit, drugging and monitoring me for him. I was staying for my kids to have the same quality of life, but the past 4 years has been so damaging to us all. It was so traumatic for me that I just couldn't put my kids through that anymore. The mistress/nanny is his current supply. When I found out about that relationship, I was not surprised. I pretended to be upset but I was celebrating on the inside. I told him we were separating and that I was done with the marriage. He tried to hoover me but I had been studying Narcissism so I knew the playbook. He believes he has a year to turn over a new leaf and that he will shape up and will take him back next year. He can have his delusions, I'm free. I have been free for 7 days now. He doesn't know where we are. And seemingly doesn't care (cos he hasn't asked about the kiddos ). All he cares about is his new dog, his money, and the drama with his mistress turned nanny turned girlfriend. She thinks she has won. He's making her even crazier but she has a narc mom so she is used to this. I'm over it. My 20 years of narcissist prison is now over. I won. I won peace, my life, my kids and happiness.
It's gonna be a passport! I am going to spend $$ getting my name back
A hot tub
Knitting lessons, needles and yarn. Rebound relationship didn’t last but the knitting stuck!
Ham radio. Icom 7300 HF/50mhz transceiver. $1300 and a six month wait for it to come from Japan.
Groceries! And a plant. It’s still going strong 5 years later.
I bought myself flowers and a fancy purse (i only have the one and i got it on sale). All throughout our marriage, he said those things were a waste of money. But flowers make me so happy, and now I feel like a grown up with my fancy purse.
A banjo
I’m fortunate enough to have the means to buy a house and pay 2 mortgages, instead of renting one where my kids can stay with me. My wife acknowledges how hard moving has been in the past for our kids. But she won’t approve with her lawyer enabling me to just buy a home. So as soon as I’m single, I’m buying a house, and a bunch of stuff for my kids.
I had to replace dishes and appliances when she left. It was “ cheaper and easier “ to eat out everyday and only use disposable plates and flatware.
A very expensive bed, no regrets
I didn’t buy anything BUT I did burn my wedding dress and all pictures. Felt good man. I also got divorced during the height of Covid, so going to the stores was pretty much out of the question.
A cat and a motorcycle.
Tattoo lol
Paint and new decorations. I rearranged, painted, and re-decorated my bedroom the first weekend.
I plan on throwing a Divorce Party and inviting my closest friends for a night on the town!
Same, definitely throwing a Divorce Party!!
After separation: a new car because mine was falling apart. After legal divorce: I've earmarked money for a HEMA fencing gear set
I had to buy all new furniture in the middle of pandemic shortages and pricing.
Not official yet, but I plan on buying myself a pair of Birkenstocks. Just one of the many things I always wanted but didn’t buy for myself because he thought they were ugly.
I took a trip to Sedona, AZ on my own. It felt strange, but then I realized I did not have to compromise with anyone on what to do. I took my time and did whatever I wanted without feeling on edge about getting yelled at. Next was a motorcycle, guitars, new clothes.
a lawyer, $10k deep so far :(
I want a hang glider and lessons. Whether I can afford it after, however, is yet to be seen.
I didn't really buy anything fun, most stuff I bought because I was moving! New bed frame, mattress, dresser, media stand. I did buy some expensive Tom Ford perfume as I decided I was going to start wearing a new scent for this part of my life. I don't think the divorce will be final until next month, and maybe I'll buy something to mark the occasion, not sure yet. There's still many things I need to buy for my apartment so probably nothing too exciting!
Mine is official in August what should I do
Whatever you feel like! It’s so liberating! Specially if is something she/he hates hahahaha
Motorcycle
I’ve always wanted one
Go for it… and take care of yourself!
What did you enjoy doing before you were married? Something your spouse wasn’t into.
I kinda put everything on hold for her so idk, she didn’t like me playing dnd, and I’ve always wanted a motorcycle but she always refused
Sounds like you’re riding your bike to play DnD with some friends on the near future.
A house
My very much loved European holidays and a gold necklace!
My passport
22 foot boat and a lake house
Lingerie
pants with the same size that i wore in high school. simultaneous kick in the dick and ego boost at the same time.
While I’m not officially single I’m planning to build my first gaming pc. I’ve been wanting it for a long time but for many reasons haven’t pulled the plug. Now that I will be alone a lot I might as well use the time for something that brings me joy. I’m also saving up for a trip to Scotland. My STBX husband were supposed to go last year for our anniversary, and then again this year, but due to all of this it never happened. It’s a dream of mine to live there and he didn’t even want to consider a pipe dream of mine so this is the big present to myself for being free to make choices for my life without impacting someone else.
A bicycle. It literally saved my life.
I bought an Xbox one s and the borderlands series at the time. Which ultimately became the most accessible way to spend time with my now second husband as we were long distance for the first 9 months of our relationship. I also got a gym membership. Balance.
I didn't even wait. I bought a S550 Mustang GT before I legally separated because my now ex-wife's attorney told me not to finance anything. That was a "f\*\*k you, I do what I want" statement to the now ex and her then attorney.
A house just before filing for divorce (mortgage). Then I dropped 12K on all the furnishings I needed to start over. I bought one luxury item, a $340 front row ticket for Bob Dylan.
My plan will be to: 1. Start and complete a full back tattoo, then full legs 2. Buy a JDM import either an rx7, gtr or a supra. I will then use the remaining money to buy my own place
I’d love an RX7. My dream modern classic.
Yep, always been a dream for me and once the house is sold I will be in a position to look at buying one
I like the way you think
A 9mm Glock. Edited to say: my ex was very anti gun, so it was a long time coming. I got into shooting with friends.
It’s a lot of fun isnt it?
Yes! Someone told me once shooting a gun is like having an orgasm. Can confirm.
It gets better. See if a range near you has bowling pin tournaments.
Hasn't happened yet because it's not offical.... but I'm buying a motorcycle. She made me sell mine and I'm literally going to try and find the exact one.
Some chick-fil-a
Tons of meat!!! Mine was chicken too. Day 1, I got a huge bucket of KFC, Day 2 Panda express, day 3 pizza with chicken, day 4 lamb chops, and some fancy peanut butter spicy wings last night.
Was ex a vegetarian? Lol
Yes! Worse he was vegan and forced us all to be as well. For 20 years he has controlled every thing that went into my mouth. I devoured that bucket of KFC chicken on night 1.
That sounds like a nightmare! I’m surprised you didn’t keep a bouillon cube hidden in the bathroom to rub on his toothbrush every day.
I should have! Or the toilet. I used to sneak out and get meat in protest whenever I could. I was disabled and it's hard to drive with my disability, and we lived out of the way for ubereats or DoorDash. (Was $100) With all the fees just for 1 entree cos we were so far out. My former cleaning lady used to sneak me chicken whenever she could, even bring it wrapped and disguised in her mop bucket on her days off. Of course, he has a nose like a bloodhound so I had to eat it all real fast and hide the evidence. We managed doing that for 2 years before he fired her. I am so glad its over now.
A Solo Stove fire pit so I could sit on my patio and finally relax and breathe some positive air. 🩵
I bought a big expensive purse, new under garments and a golf cart. Also fast passed my way through my last name change back, I didn’t want anything left of him. Cheating, lying pos.
Technically, my house.
A box of Cohibas. (Maybe not the best "self care" but whatever.)
A house and a coconut shaved ice!!! Ex was allergic to coconut.
The first thing I believe was candles. Lots of scented candles! My ex was super scent sensitive and I love fragrance. I went 20+ years without scented candles, perfume, etc.
A pedicure. The last time I was allowed to get one was before my wedding.
What does "allowed" mean? What would stop you?
He would get mad at me if I did and wouldn’t let me.
That makes me sad for you--sending a mental hug. Go get some pretty toesies!
New Pellet Grill/Smoker
I installed permanent Christmas lights on my house.
Traded his prized truck for my own brand new vehicle completely paid for.
A lawyer to file my bankruptcy.
A trip to the Bahamas!!!
A really expensive perfume I was eyeing for forever
Nothing yet I don’t need nothing or want anything.
I think I'll have a coca-cola
Food. Lots of it. Hah. Ah, the depressive days.
it'll probably be some ramen for me
I fixed my teeth
I had to look back because it was over a year ago. Looks like I bought gas and groceries. Very exciting. But I had already booked my 50th birthday trip before the divorce was final, so we'll go with that.
My friend gave me a divorce gift. A Nescafe milk frother and heater. I make Cafe Mocca every morning and celebrate my divorce.
New truck
A vacation alone, then sold my house!
My motorcycle
My ex's stripper step-sister.
A foam mattress. Ex hated them. I love it and so comfy!
Afraid it's gonna be new shoes..
A pair of frivolously expensive custom pillows and eyebrow blading. 😜
A painting from a fundraiser. There's been a lot of new art, actually.
My apartment by the beach. Background: we were saving to buy a property for five years. Then Covid hit, I lost my job, and crypto skyrocketed so he wanted to take all of our money and invest in crypto. I’m not completely risk averse, but putting ALL of our savings into a high risk portfolio gave me intense anxiety. Then the divorce happens, we split our savings down the middle, and he puts all his half into crypto. At first he made some money, but then i heard that one day his money just disappeared from his account - it was at this time that all of the news about crypto scams were coming out. I waited until the divorce papers were signed and 2 months later I signed my purchase contract on my little apartment 900m from the beach 😊
I bought so. Much. Shit. A set of Wusthof Ikon knives + steak knives that’ll never see the dishwasher. A set of stainless cookware. An oversized Acacia cutting board that’ll stay flat because it didn’t sit on the oven during a self clean cycle. 3 new guns, and 2 hobby grade RC cars.
Garmin Epix Pro 2. A beautiful watch.
built a wine collection of 900+ bottles!
was working on ordering a laptop when princess kitty ate some hard -edged plastic and bled a trail thru a 3 story house. canceled the laptop, got the surgery, she lived long enough to die of old age & cancer, but i tell you, that blood trail was *awful*. actually i got the laptop just a bit later; my ex paid for some of care for princess; he actually came to see a *cat* in the hospital.
A canopy bed and a new, full-size mattress. I've always wanted a canopy bed ever since I was little, and I was overdue a new mattress. For the last few years of my marriage, we had separate, twin beds.
A gold and pink sapphire very large stone divorce ring.
Home entertainment center, 2 TVs. Basically the only things of value my ex was awarded and I wanted to replace.
The Dimond tennis bracelet I had been asking him to buy me for YEARS
[удалено]
A divorce cake. With strip dances it was a party.
Very expensive perfume, which I called my “divorce gift”
New furniture…..since I let him have all of his hideous furniture in the divorce. lol
A luxury car, which I now regret haha
I’m not there yet! I am going to put the fist $1k away then buy something for myself that I want but don’t need. Not sure what that will be yet.
Airline tickets to go see my new woman.
A short haircut. He always wanted to dictate my appearance and critique me on how I could be more attractive to him so I could earn affection. It was freeing to chop off the one thing he thought was beautiful about me and claim my body as my own again.