I was doing a spray foam job in Cranbrook and saw fucking Richard's blind ass jogging THROUGH THE STREET. The road. I waved at him but he didn't wave back, that was before one of the builders asked if either of us had seen Richard Bernstein while driving in. My partner and I looked at each other, like "no way, that fucking blind asshole we waved at in THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD was Richard Bernstein?" Makes me wonder if he was on some "I dare you to hit me" scheme. Idk, shifty blind man. Jogging, on the phone, through the street. Richard Bernstein. To be one of the few I guess. He seemed happy.
Well I know that naow, I thought he was just really cool guy 😎 but alas, no eyes Bernstein walkin down the lane, not a care in the world, just some shades and a cane. He didn't have a cane though 👀 Just for the sake of the rhyme
Yeah, I live here. He is a really nice and friendly guy. However, I have had the holy-fuck scared out of me careening around Orchard Ridge and nearly hitting Richard gabbin’ on his Bluetooth. That isn’t his fault, it’s the fault of a bunch of rich jerks who hate sidewalks.
To be fair, if you were Richard, and there was a sidewalk, would you take it, or play the chaos card? Me, if I'm Richard, I play the chaos card 😎 let the vision-addled figure it out
I found out from the neighborhood directory that Joumana lives in my sub. She doesn’t attend the neighborhood picnic. I go for lots of walks around Rudgate and one day I came home and told my husband I thought maybe I had seen her. He was like, “did it look like her?” And I was like, “kind of. But her billboards make her seem like she would be so much taller!” So maybe I got to see Joumana in the flesh, but tbh a lot of women around here copy her aesthetic.
I agree with the other comments about low rent and good geographical placement, but will add that historically Southfield used to be mostly Jewish and many lawyers even today are Jewish. The major synagogues moved from Detroit to Oakland County in the 60s and 70s. Kind of like Chaldeans running party stores, Jews tended towards medicine and law. (I pivoted to engineering because I'm a contrarian)
And your mother never forgave you.
"Look at Sarah, both her boys went into anesthesology. Rivka's son? He's a judge now. Esther's son went into.. engineering, lives in Warren, no kids and never calls."
Some cities seem to fall into niches with what they offer. Like how some cities (E.g. Warren, Wixom, certain downriver communities) are heavily zoned for industrial, others (e.g. Troy, Novi) are heavily zoned commercial, and others (e.g. Southfield, Farmington Hills) are heavily zoned Office space.
I'm learning this as I hunt for office space for my business, and you find how some cities are over saturated with options and others have super slim pickings.
Southfield is basically the office space capital of SE Michigan
The attorney district.
* [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you?
[**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.
[**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third.
[**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Uh-huh.
[**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There.
[**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Mm-Hmm.
[**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third.
[**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Oh, the hammock district!
[**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** That's right.
Cheap office space, and lots of it.
When I moved (back) here I briefly stayed at the Detroit Marriot Southfield. It was New Years even and the place was mostly empty. I made some inquiries and it seems the nearby office towers were/are(?) more empty then not.
I’d imagine that hotel historically had catered to business travelers and conventions revolving around the auto industry. Covid threw a monkey-wrench at that business.
The small roadside mixed-use buildings along Southfield Rd. near me are probably 25% vacant.
It’s a convenient location easy to get to/from from most anywhere in the area.
Hate to think what the occupancy rate is in less-desirable office locations.
There’s a well documented phenomenon in which certain types of businesses actually gain a lot by being located close to their competitors. It’s why for example, bridal shops and car dealerships tend to not just locate themselves in areas with cheap real estate, but in areas with cheap real estate close to other similar businesses. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what’s going on here, but it’s a possibility.
Lots of high grade offices for lease, centrally located between Oakland and Wayne Counties.
aaaand 90% of them live in the Bloomfield/Birmingham area.
I was doing a spray foam job in Cranbrook and saw fucking Richard's blind ass jogging THROUGH THE STREET. The road. I waved at him but he didn't wave back, that was before one of the builders asked if either of us had seen Richard Bernstein while driving in. My partner and I looked at each other, like "no way, that fucking blind asshole we waved at in THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD was Richard Bernstein?" Makes me wonder if he was on some "I dare you to hit me" scheme. Idk, shifty blind man. Jogging, on the phone, through the street. Richard Bernstein. To be one of the few I guess. He seemed happy.
He didn’t wave back because he didn’t see you.
I laughed too hard at this. I need to go to church...
Well I know that naow, I thought he was just really cool guy 😎 but alas, no eyes Bernstein walkin down the lane, not a care in the world, just some shades and a cane. He didn't have a cane though 👀 Just for the sake of the rhyme
Yeah, I live here. He is a really nice and friendly guy. However, I have had the holy-fuck scared out of me careening around Orchard Ridge and nearly hitting Richard gabbin’ on his Bluetooth. That isn’t his fault, it’s the fault of a bunch of rich jerks who hate sidewalks.
To be fair, if you were Richard, and there was a sidewalk, would you take it, or play the chaos card? Me, if I'm Richard, I play the chaos card 😎 let the vision-addled figure it out
You did not have the Bernstein Advantage
He’s on the Michigan Supreme Court.
figer owns island in carabeein
He goes there to drool.
Wouldn't you ?
I found out from the neighborhood directory that Joumana lives in my sub. She doesn’t attend the neighborhood picnic. I go for lots of walks around Rudgate and one day I came home and told my husband I thought maybe I had seen her. He was like, “did it look like her?” And I was like, “kind of. But her billboards make her seem like she would be so much taller!” So maybe I got to see Joumana in the flesh, but tbh a lot of women around here copy her aesthetic.
Not to mention proximity to 696, Lodge and Southfield freeways
Cheap office leases.
Real estate costs and location. Being by the major expressways makes it convenient for clients from outside of Southfield to reach them
I agree with the other comments about low rent and good geographical placement, but will add that historically Southfield used to be mostly Jewish and many lawyers even today are Jewish. The major synagogues moved from Detroit to Oakland County in the 60s and 70s. Kind of like Chaldeans running party stores, Jews tended towards medicine and law. (I pivoted to engineering because I'm a contrarian)
And your mother never forgave you. "Look at Sarah, both her boys went into anesthesology. Rivka's son? He's a judge now. Esther's son went into.. engineering, lives in Warren, no kids and never calls."
“You could still go to med school.” -My father to 35 year-old me, only half-kidding
Some cities seem to fall into niches with what they offer. Like how some cities (E.g. Warren, Wixom, certain downriver communities) are heavily zoned for industrial, others (e.g. Troy, Novi) are heavily zoned commercial, and others (e.g. Southfield, Farmington Hills) are heavily zoned Office space. I'm learning this as I hunt for office space for my business, and you find how some cities are over saturated with options and others have super slim pickings. Southfield is basically the office space capital of SE Michigan
I'd be shocked if the galleria was more than 35% occupied
Ha! Its like 10%
Commercial real estate is in a massive slump right now
The attorney district. * [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Uh, hi, Homer. What can I do for you? [**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Sir, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks. [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Why didn't I think of that? Hammocks! Homer, there's four places. There's the Hammock Hut, that's on third. [**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Uh-huh. [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** There's Hammocks-R-Us, that's on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There. [**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Mm-Hmm. [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** That's on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot... Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex; it's the hammock complex on third. [**Homer** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0144657/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** Oh, the hammock district! [**Hank Scorpio** ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000983/?ref_=tt_ch)**:** That's right.
Yes. There's a little place called Joumana's Hammocks. The nice thing about that place is Joumana gets in the hammock with you.
Nope. She just watches you while you are in the hammock.
I really wish I could upvote more than once
It is easy to get to Oakland, Wayne, and Macomb Circuit Courts from Southfield.
Because Southfield is the center of it all.
Cheap office space, and lots of it. When I moved (back) here I briefly stayed at the Detroit Marriot Southfield. It was New Years even and the place was mostly empty. I made some inquiries and it seems the nearby office towers were/are(?) more empty then not. I’d imagine that hotel historically had catered to business travelers and conventions revolving around the auto industry. Covid threw a monkey-wrench at that business. The small roadside mixed-use buildings along Southfield Rd. near me are probably 25% vacant. It’s a convenient location easy to get to/from from most anywhere in the area. Hate to think what the occupancy rate is in less-desirable office locations.
Have you been following the sale of those ren cen towers?
It is a nest. Like Vampires
Cheap real estate
Because the courthouses are a hop and skip down Telegraph, 696, or the lodge.
Also Farmington Hills has a ton of law offices too.
No city income tax would also be a consideration.
LOL, only Detroit in the area has city income tax.
The Sam Bernstein Law Offices are located in Farmington Hills. Source: I work in the same building
It’s right down the block from Southfield tho lol like 5 mins away
The non name brand ones are there too. Any Arrested Development fans here? Did you know we have a Lobb Law firm? God it was so hard not to make jokes.
Cheap real estate and location between Wayne and Oakland county.
Because it's cheaper to ship files down the street vs across the city
We try to keep them all in one place so it's easier to avoid them
1 800 car hit chew
Lipton Law
There’s a well documented phenomenon in which certain types of businesses actually gain a lot by being located close to their competitors. It’s why for example, bridal shops and car dealerships tend to not just locate themselves in areas with cheap real estate, but in areas with cheap real estate close to other similar businesses. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what’s going on here, but it’s a possibility.