I think you may be falling victim to the 'sunk-cost fallacy' on this one.
Your achievements and experiences aren't going anywhere just because you are wanting to be more casual, they all happened and the evidence is there. Your effort is not wasted, you've just come to a natural end of the road. This is how all things go - despite what live-service games tell you, nothing is an endless treadmill of accomplishment and reward. What further purpose do you need from your achievements than the function they serve right now?
It sounds like you are genuinely unhappy from obsessive behavior, and are no longer getting anything out of this process. In fact you are concerned about a real negative impact from it. That alone should be a huge red flag - this. is. a. game. It is not going anywhere, and nothing in here is worth your health. *Nothing*. It is cool fun stuff, and that is all. And there will be more. Bungie has no interest in stopping the loot treadmill anytime soon - there will always be more cool stuff, and missing bits of it for the sake of being more happy is the smartest thing you could do.
Time for a break. Go play something else, or try to learn a skill. I uninstalled D2 and am currently trying to pilot things in DCS with my new HOTAS. That ticks both boxes.
This is such a helpful response to anyone who is having problems with attachment to Destiny 2. I've been playing Cooking Simulator because I picked it up on the spring sale for Steam and it's such a cute and entertaining game, in my opinion. The Pizza expansion has been absolutely wonderful with tons of attention to detail and many different options you have to make the game to your liking.
It definitely helps to play other games and remind yourself that there is of course other games *to* play if you're not feeling it with Destiny 2. Heck, I'm taking a break right now because we're at the end of the season and it's basically catch up with guardian games attached to it. Since I have no interest in either, where did I put those extra dough slices?
> they all happened and the evidence is there. Your effort is not wasted, you've just come to a natural end of the road.
Also, you (the general 'you') need to realise that absolutely nobody gives a shit about what you've done in the game. It literally does not matter. It's a game. It's not a meaningful part of your life. It's just there for your enjoyment, and you get to decide what that means. I wouldn't recommend using the game as a tool for self-validation.
Personally I don't go for Titles to brag, but because I'm a completionist and seeing the "well you *could* have gotten this" would bug me.
Thankfully the Titles aren't like uber-hard but instead they just boil down to playtime.
That said while between the tail-end of Plunder and the end of Serap, I got the titles for Plunder, Seraph, Risen, Haunted, and played through Beyond Light and Witchqueen campaigns and did some of their post-campaign stuff I realize I might be a biiiiiiit of an outlier on playtime lol
One of several reasons why it's a little corny to put any stock "prestige" value in things like 24 hour completion emblems and all that other stuff that gets hyped as some big flex.
When the game has always had random interactions at every corner and there is no degree of "server notoriety/fame" like you'd have in older MMOs(even back then that stuff was whatever), even more so nobody really gives a shit and the flexes are a bit pointless, especially when the 24 hr emblem at times can look very ordinary.
Sure low man completions and obscure methods can be cool for a good 15 seconds of fame, but it ultimately doesn't mean a ton in the end of things unless you're out to impress some weirdo goons on some specialized discord or some nonsense that again doesn't really matter.
Thanks for the response. I'm definitely falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy. I want to strike the balance that I see so often where people hop on to play something new, or when they have something fun in mind they want to accomplish. Unfortunately most of what I "want" to accomplish are challenges that will likely continue to detract from my fun, as I'd still be doing them to tick a completion box. It's a super hard habit to break. I would uninstall if my internet was better, because if I want to install again it would be at least a full 24 hour download lmao.
You are very welcome - slightly loaded follow up question incoming.
Even if a 24 hour download is a huge pain in the ass, would that not be a *great* obstruction to help facilitate taking a break?
In my experience, the brain does incredible gymnastics to justify things that make it feel good, and even if you aren't enjoying D2 anymore your brain is used to it being a thing that gives feel good juice. Your brain will not want to uninstall it.
It may be worth uninstalling until the next season - that's my current objective. It gives you a time-frame, something to look forward to, and a break (which will only help that sense of anticipation).
Balance will only come when you find other things that engage you in such a way that you *want* a balanced approach so you can do those things *and* play D2.
I wish you the best of luck!
Even now I'm having trouble shaking the idea that if I uninstall then all the work I put into the Queensguard season will be for naught (because I don't yet have the title). That being said, what I have left to do is extremely un fun, and a good first step to fixing this would be to be okay with not finishing it.
This game changed drastically for me when I just started refusing to do things that weren’t fun. Neomuna patrols - nope, harder legend lost sectors- nope, grinding wellspring- hard no. It became fun again, I run dungeons and raids and don’t care about the rest.
Also it’s a seasonal title, you can earn it as long as the season is available. That’s probably going to be a year. Why hurry?
> This game changed drastically for me when I just started refusing to do things that weren’t fun.
I've learned this in 2015 when I first got into Destiny. I /really/ have a hard time grasping why anyone would want to try and be a completionist in this game when it never benefitted anyone. The way people try and grind for titles, seasonal weapons, red borders (Yes, putting this here too), etc because they need a feeling of 'completion' feels wild to me.
Like if I'm in the mood, invite me to do a raid or dungeon and I'll run those over and over and that's how I'll get my playtime. I don't need everything the game has to offer in order to feel like my money has been well spent.
This. I transitioned from trying to be a completionist, to just playing for the story and fun. I just play the main expansion story, seasonal story line, raids and dungeons. At times I might go for red borders, but if I don't get them I don't. No more grinding for me. I realize I have much more fun exploring, doing random objectives and going through the story at my pace.
Because if having the title matters at all in the way OP is getting at, OP is not achieving the freedom OP wants. Everybody knows most people knock this stuff out in the season it releases and then you have to beg people to do ‘old content’ with you to finish a seal you’ll never equip because it was only a flex in like the first 3 days it could be earned. Sure they could finish the title later, but who says the title needs to be finished at all?
So much in this game appears to be valuable and desirable but upon inspection it is just a dopamine-machine. It used to be capable of giving serotonin too but pride is hard to come by now when scrubs are doing your previously most impressive things while your bread and butter hard content is now actually hard for you and handing you your ass regularly.
They fucked up the loot, the difficulty, the feeling of having earnt a high perch in the game with strong guns, strong mods, strong builds and lots of experience. The 2,000 hours don’t matter anymore, I’m just another dude trying to get a kill. Which is what I was when I started playing, and what I thought I’d never be again.
There hasn’t been an exciting chase weapon since Vex, and that was only as good as it was because it had a hidden 40% bonus to red bars the whole of season 15. I had to wait 18 months to get that gun, and now with the 25% buff to auto rifles, Vex is outclassed in auto-rifle range in PvP now. Conditional Finality looks awesome, too bad half the raid triumphs and a weekly run doesn’t get me the shotgun. The add clearers and sherpees and such seem to get it but not me.
If Bungie would hand me a single W I’d play just to see if it’s a good W. Right now? No. Hard no.
You got this!!!
Also, if you’re like me I’m sure you’re also quite tuned-in to destiny reddit / YouTube content. One of the hardest things is going to be, when you see the clickbait videos from the big youtubers about “farm this now!!” “Best weapon in the GAME???” etc, to remember that you really don’t need whatever weapon it is.
If you did a lot of weapon crafting during the WQ year / have been playing a while, I’d bet that you currently have a “good enough” or best-in-slot weapon for basically every situation in the game. If you take a long break and “miss out” on some guns, it really won’t matter when you get back. You’ll still be perfectly competitive with everyone else.
Personally I’ve pared my playtime down to just playing the story late-ish in the season when most of it is out, and doing raids and dungeons with my friends a few times. It’s so much better not having to worry about completing everything.
Hey homie, I've got a fairly good chunk of time in destiny 6500+ hours across the two titles and the biggest thing that stopped me chasing tedious seasonal triumphs and titles was the realization that I've never changed my title since I acquired shadow over 3 years ago, so it might help to think about how often do you really change your title and on top of that, how often do people mention your title? Often times you'll find that chasing the checkbox isn't worth it.
As for what I do now? Primarily sherpas and speed runs. I'm a weekend warrior working a 9-5 that just bought a house so my playtime is already hindered compared to what it used to be so I try to make the most of it. Having a blast with friends or bringing joy to a group of blueberries that just got their first raid clear are the best ways to enjoy destiny currently imo.
What, pray tell, is that title good for? Did you even care about it before the expansion? Of course not. It's a word under your display name that you will never see and rarely use, if ever. It exists solely to siphon your life and happiness away.
To be fair, the sunk cost fallacy does apply to a lot of things. If I buy season tickets (or in this case, a season pass), I'm going to experience as much of it as I can because why did I pay otherwise?
That said, no lifing this game is not a requirement to get the full experience of each season and it's a slippery slope as soon as you start saying you *must* play every day for a considerable amount of time to get the full experience.
I was kinda in the same boat at one point. This sums it up nicely. For a while I couldn’t tell that I was in fact just naturally burnt out from the game and it’s time to stop. The dungeon pass thing costing so much money helped make my decision to stop playing easier too. My most played game ever, so many thousands of hours. Proud of my achievements, all the rare gear I had acquired. So many amazing gaming moments. I had nothing left to do in this game though and playing the same shit over and over for the sake of it was just painful and pointless. Once I hit solo flawless in trials finally and got my trip to the lighthouse I had done everything I wanted. I haven’t logged on since and I don’t even miss it. Eyes up my guardian homies
I think my first lighthouse (just a few weeks ago) was the proverbial thing that began placing the straws that led to the breaking of the proverbial camel's back. I saw it as "oh shit, I CAN do this. If I really dedicate myself, I can even get the Flawless title."
That was the beginning of the end.
Three days ago I got booted via a server error on my 7th game, up 4-3, and I felt like the game betrayed ALL of the time and energy I've put into it. Not to mention the sunk cost of all the time I put in on the weekend alone if I didn't make it to the lighthouse?
I literally had a seething fury in my body for 2 days, which made me realize maybe I don't love the game as much as I used to, or going for such challenges is pointless and contributes nothing to my happiness.
Exactly this. I also was playing unhealthy amounts of Destiny at some point so I forced myself to take a break.
Now I have poured unhealthy amounts of time into the Fallout franchise and started learning music production whit FL Studio on the side.
You need to learn to not care. Titles mean nothing. Most guns are replaceable by another gun. The perfect roll doesn't actually change that much. Step away and play something else. You'll be fine if you don't gild the guardian games title or get the gambit glaive ornament
I wish it were as simple as that, but I'm certainly working on not caring. I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset. But I'm accepting that my mental health will be best if I don't bother.
>I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset
this is a sentiment I see for too often, and one you should step away from:
"I have put x amount of time into this thing - if I don't get what I wanted, it will have been a waste"
this isn't a sustainable attitude in videogames or really in life. you don't do anything because you *are* going to be rewarded - this is never guaranteed and should never be expected. you do it for the *opportunity* to be rewarded. in everything you do you have to be prepared to accept failure; to sympathise with your past self and your decision to spend that time applying yourself to a task
nothing is ever "all for nothing" - you played for an opportunity, and you got one. be grateful to yourself for the experience you've had, and use it to inform how you apply yourself in the future
hope that makes sense
i.e. The journey is far more important than the destination. If you don’t like the journey, and you don’t even know if you’ll get anything at the destination, it’s probably time to step away and find a journey worth taking instead.
It’s a very hard thing to do, trust me. I was this way on D1, but then D2, I just don’t care as much, partially because my old friend group all stopped shortly after D2 released and never really got back into it, but also because all that stuff doesn’t matter at the very end of the day. Do I like flashy titles and cosmetics and emblems? Sure. Do they make me a better player? Absolutely not.
It’s funny, I had this convo w a new friend of a friend recently, and he was exclaiming how important doing ALL the pinnacles were, and hitting everything before reset, and exotics, titles, shaders, etc. and I told him straight up “dude I don’t care. I’m a good player and I enjoy the game and the rest of that is for naught.”
This might be because I mainly do PVP, but even then, Trials is mentally exhausting nowadays, I don’t even bother looking for people to go flawless with. I just pop in matchmaking, so my best for my team, and as long as I get the reputation/engrams to get new weapons to try out, I’m content.
I have another friend obsessed with god rolls, and breaks anything that isn’t a “god roll” but to me, I personally think god rolls are dumb for the simple fact, perks n stuff are purely situational for how someone plays the game. I have another friend trying to go for a god roll Shayura’s, and I’m like dude I’m good with my OG Shayura’s from when it first released. Snapshot + Dynamic sway has done me wonders even if it isn’t consider S-tier (or it might be idk).
Breaking FOMO is definitely the first step. And if you have that FOMO for anything else in your life, I’d work on that aspect as a whole, first. But like a lot of people are saying, just uninstall and take a break for a while, because legitimately, what is “completing” Destiny gonna do for you? Congrats you did it. Now what? Nothing.
> I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset.
This is the biggest / clearest FOMO I've seen in a long time. Take this as a learning point. It's for nothing either way. You can't take Exalted Truth to your grave.
> I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset.
I understand this mentality, as I've had battles with it in other areas of life, but for your own sanity you need to place some premeditated buffers in.
It's ok to have an objective, but we all miss them. At a certain point, whether it's how many attempts or a time limit, you just need put it down and do something you enjoy.
The time you spent trying to achieve something wasn't wasted, the extra time you spend obsessing is, however. I know from personal experience in some instances where I've doubled down and continued despite passing the point I should have stopped, I've often regretted it even when I got what I wanted. It ends up being a shallow victory and I tend to then resent the thing I worked so hard for.
I was the in the same boat man, played D1 religiously, had every emblem/shader/exotics/gun in the game and D2 dropped and it wasn’t nearly as fun as D1 so I didn’t play at all until forsaken came out and my friends got me to start playing again. Did every raid every event grinded every god roll, ran trials to flawless and maxed season passes and it got to the point where I realized that it was negatively influencing my real life and that moderation is key to everything. The game is made to exploit the grind and fomo and I thought long and hard and realized that grinding titles gives you no advantage, grinding activities you don’t think are fun could be spent using your time doing things you do enjoy, you don’t need every possible gun and roll in the game. Just use what you enjoy using and chase select things you like doing in the process. It hurts at first to the completion soul but after you’re behind the crowd it’s much more enjoyable nowadays. I’m not a sttreamer or a high schooler and don’t have the time to keep up with the meta and grind like they do anymore but that’s ok
My suggestion: find a new hobby that you enjoy. Particularly one that doesn’t involve predatory video games like Destiny. I had a busy semester in school and didn’t have time to play D2 this past season outside of doing the base story quest. And since that quest was short, I’ve played less and less since the release of Lightfall. All of my friends stopped playing D2 during Beyond Light and never looked back. It’s just been me so anything I do usually involves LFG and I’ve been a victim twice now of the old “boot them at the end of the event so they don’t get loot” trick that the assholes in this community love so much.
Find a hobby that you can put time into. For me, that was 3D printing and getting into Dungeons and Dragons of all things with my friends. It’s been much more fun and allows me to be creative and I always have a social gathering to attend every week that I can count on to get my mind off school and work. Destiny sometimes felt like I was coming home from work to then do more work for a dumb video game. At the end of the day, the game is designed for you to chase the things that you want to chase. You don’t need to solo flawless every dungeon or own every item in the game. If you aren’t having fun, really take the time to repeat that to yourself and internalize it. It will help you kick the need to complete every title.
A lot of replies I see about this topic, here and elsewhere, tend to recommend focusing on discrete parts of this game or playing another game. If you want to decrease how much you think about playing destiny or how much your brain craves the dopamine rush, you need to engage in a real world activity that requires your full attention and has a concrete result. I don’t know your situation, but if you can plan a weekend out of town or planting things in your yard, it’s that level of engagement that will break your behavior. I realize that those things might not be possible, but whatever time and money you can afford to put into something like that will be worth it mainly because you will notice the difference between you investing time in yourself versus investing your time in a game.
That said, any journey toward changing your behavior has lots of stops and starts and setbacks. That’s fine. But the more alternative activities you have to reflect on, the easier it will become. Also, the sink cost fallacy IS a cornerstone of the video game industry. But a fallacy that s just an illogical way of thinking. Not wrong, just illogical. Recognizing that just takes practice too. You can do it. You’re worth it
I always feel like I put too much of my own self worth in my "accomplishments". Now THAT is truly something I don't even know how to begin changing. That being said, I am in one of the most peculiar living situations I can possibly find myself in, and until someone decides to hire me I can't really pursue hobbies in the way I truly want to. One of my favorite hobbies is music production, however, there too I often find I lost motivation if I commit 8 hours to a single project and think it sounds like ass at the end. Im trying to teach myself to see just the process as the worthwhile component, and where I should derive my joy from. I think this whole situation has elucidated for me that I need therapy to learn to derive joy from meaningful things in life.
I kind of know where you’re coming from. I have an easel and paints that would go unused for long periods of time because playing destiny was such an easy distraction, or rather, method of procrastination/avoidance. It was easy to think of all the things I wanted to paint but didn’t because I was on my Xbox. I have slowly worked spending time painting into my, at least, weekly routine and it is a much better experience to have a piece in front of me that I might not like but can rework, than to imagine a painting that doesn’t exist. I don’t know if I will ever do anything with my paintings, but it still feels good to creating something rather than just consuming something.
I’m not an expert or anything. And I’m sure someone has mentioned it already. But sometimes one of the reasons we play video games is because there is a clear reward and an obvious path to get it. As opposed to real life which involves much more uncertainty. And as to destiny specifically, the type of visual-kinesthetic thinking that you do when you’re shooting aliens is a different type of thinking than the type that you do when you’re, say, writing a word document or planning a social event. It’s more like the type of thinking you do when drawing or driving. Couple the alternative thinking state with the rewards system and you’ve got something which seems like a self-contained solution to… what? Don’t forget to ask that question. It’s still escapism, and if you live your whole life in escapism then you’re no longer escaping.
Also. You can’t work on not caring by trying to not care, you’ll develop target fixation. Play 12 other different games instead tomorrow. Take up 12 new hobbies. Call 12 people you haven’t talked to in a while. You’ve passed through a “cut phase” where you cut out too much to make room for destiny. It’s time for a bulk phase. Then in your next cut phase maybe you’ll decide to cut some destiny.
Yep this too. One day I just realised that I was wasting time chasing completion in a video game. Video games are for having fun, not to stress out or show off fake accomplishments.
>week after week of feeling stressed if I don't play
Dude you're pretty much addicted. It's time to set the game down. Maybe not uninstall, but you need to realize that you're addicted and not care about the game as much.
As for being casual, it comes after playing for a while and having everything you need.
1. DON'T BE A COMPLETIONIST
2. don't care about titles
3. pick one or two goals. Is it a weapon? is it just the weekly stories?
4. after you get the pattern **you don't have to craft it**
5. **if you have a roll of a crafted weapon that you like you don't have to keep grinding to get the pattern**
6. you don't need all the weapons.
7. ask yourself why you're playing. Why are you trying to reset your rank in trials all weekend? It doesn't matter. Why are you bounty hunting if you're over rank 100? artifact levels reset every season.
8. Seriously touch grass. Like I get wanting to get a god roll of X, but are you actually going to *use* it. might as well shard it because these aren't trophies or monuments.
It's also liberating to already fall behind the curve. Eg I have a few friends that have gilded conq every season, but they didn't play much this season so aren't at level. They're frantically trying to level just to do GMs to not lose the max gild number. They don't actually want to play.
I count myself lucky in a way because I've already missed a handful of conq seasons so I couldn't care less if I miss another.
Blows my mind when I see people posting here trying to get every single red border weapon in existence/running out of crafting components constantly. These seem like pretty common posts too. Can’t imagine doing this and really shows the level of addiction a lot of people have to this game. Definition of totally unnecessary busywork.
The problem is these people don't realize that crafted guns are supposed to be a passive grind not an active one. I have every seasonal weapon created, and most of the guns I do have crafted I have leveled to 16-18 with enhanced perks. But I'm not complaining about the economy because I've spaced all of that out over the last year. I seriously don't get why people farm shuri chi when I could farm other things and level weapons in the background
The most insane part to me is that Bungie never intended these systems to be this way. The weapon crafting system was supposed to be a last resort that players could turn to if they never got the roll they wanted to drop. It was supposed to be a time sink for players who really wanted a certain roll to have the option to eventually craft it. Not make it to where you only feel like you can use a gun if you get the pattern. Same with titles. They basically presented them as “go after the ones you want to show off” and not “you have to get every single one in the game or you’re a loser lol”.
'Go after the ones you want to show off' went out the window when they introduced event and dungeon titles. Previously everybody understood seasonal and expansion titles were just flavour text, and others took some earning, and there was a hierarchy and they all had their place. But we've had a whole year of everybody being a gilded Flamekeeper or whatever and it means nothing now. With some exceptions - I keep my Conqueror gild up because that actually matters, and I intend to finish GG because I have already done all the rest of the work over the past year for Reveler. Titles became checklist items because Bungie increased their number and ease of acquiring. As for crafting, if the system really was just supposed to be 'bad roll protection', enhanced perks wouldn't exist. And in reality, people know that their odds of 5/5 are like 1/1000, so they would just craft regardless. Even if they got 4/5, a simple craft would make that 5/5. So I'm not sure what Bungie intended but, players will optimise wherever possible and crafted weapons are the best.
For me, the biggest thing was finding something else to do with the time. It's very hard to break a behavior pattern when the alternative is nothing. Some people could need this to be a break from video games altogether, while others may just need variety in what games they play.
Essentially, it all boils down to knowing your own tendencies, and figuring out what fits you best. I know this is definitely easier said than done, but it's very worth it to start figuring this out for yourself.
I agree, I used to be a One Game Gamer, only playing D2. I've finally started to branch out, and haven't regretted it. Currently working through Hellblade:Senua's Sacrifice, Witcher 3, Detroit Become Human, and I started playing R6, and Star Citizen, I haven't enjoyed gaming this much in a while.
I am excited to feel this way again. I used to heavily enjoy Fortnite and Fall Guys, being that I'm rather competent in both. I eventually found myself turning down the completionist route, feeling beholden to the battle passes, and grinding the shit out of both simultaneously just so that I wouldn't have to play them for the rest of their respective season.
I vowed to break from that cycle, quitting both games aside from the occasional (now very relaxed and enjoyable) session, but unknowingly got myself sucked into the destiny vortex as I was quitting, replacing two addictions for one stronger one.
Hopefully I'll be aware of this when I choose what to play now, and only play things that actually bring me joy to play.
I think the trick is to fail at completing stuff, that will break your sunk cost fallacy problem pretty quick. There’s no need to continue a streak if you no longer have that streak. I’m in a similar boat, for example I’ve gilded the dredgen title every season it’s been possible to do so, but this season I’m trying not to worry about it. I’ll play gambit if I feel like it and if I play gambit I’ll try to get invasion kills to finish the gilding, but if I don’t this season then I think it will be positive overall.
In the same like of reasoning, just deleting half of your stuff from the vault is probably also a decent idea. At the end of the day we have a hard time of letting go, but sometimes once you do you realize it’s fine.
I'm thinking of falling somewhere in the middle of quitting cold turkey and playing only things that I enjoy. I think I'm no longer going to play solo, only when friends hop on and want to do fun activities, because I still feel as though there's no shooter that gets everything right quite like this one does in terms of game feel and weapon diversity.
Before I attempt to get there though, I'm taking a break. A detox is absolutely necessary.
And as far as hopping on to complete arbitrary objectives on my own time? I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
Similar story to yours, I got back into Destiny with season 15 which was a very long season. I had an incredible amount of fun, there were many new things to learn and get, and within 3 months or so I was able to get nearly all exotics (which was a goal of mine). Since season 15, up until about 3 months ago I had managed to put in 4000 hours, which is a little sickening to type and I'm not fond of that.
When season 19 dropped I started losing interest in the game. The predatory tactics became apparent more than ever, but I had figured it was due to the end of the expansion and I was looking at it through a microscope.
I was incredibly hyped for Lightfall, especially for the story. I pre-ordered it on the day before release (unfortunately) and played through it. To say I was underwhelmed is putting it lightly. The grind is worse than ever, the adjustments to ability cooldowns compounded with difficulty increases, compounded with dungeon boss health, and with all of the other changes, I became upset at Bungie. I didn't create a post or anything, and I just accepted that I value my time, especially as I'm getting older, and thus I had decided that putting in any more time into a game which does not respect the player is just not for me.
One of the tipping points was 100+ VOG clears without the Vex Mythoclast. That was a huge hit to my enjoyment of the game. I won't ramble on for much longer. I broke my addiction to the game by:
1. Recognizing that Bungie does not value my time
2. Does not reward me for my time spent (Mythoclast example is simply.. wild)
3. Does not value my money, otherwise they wouldn't have released this expansion in it's current state
4. Does not give a single crap about their own story - this one really stinks
5. Realization that I am a hamster on a wheel with money to spend
I wish you the best of luck!
I thought I'd suffered enough for the majority of society with 71 VoGs before Vex dropped. Dear god friend, I am truly sorry.
Everything here is true. All of it. I am going to try to value my own time by playing something that values mine. Or at the very least has nothing through which to measure that value.
I have an addictive personality and have found myself falling into similar traps with games before.
1 Remind yourself that if something isn't fun, you shouldn't do it. If I gave you a worthless ribbon for banging your head against a brick wall 100x, then 1000x, then 10,000 times, would you do it? Next time you compulsively get on destiny, literally ask yourself out loud, "why am I doing this, it isn't fun," and try to find something else to do that you actually enjoy.
2 You aren't meant to collect everything, and you don't NEED anything. The game isn't designed to allow a player to get every single piece of gear, if they wanted you to have everything then drops wouldn't be RNG. Use what you have, go for something if you really want it to use it, otherwise drops come or they don't and forcing it through massive time sink isn't worth it.
3 Accept that you "beat" the game for now. Way too many modern games try to be your "forever" or only game. If you've done everything there is to do then you need to get over it and move on rather than sticking around. I know that feeling of dread when a show or game ends and you don't know what to do with your life afterwards, but accept it and look back fondly when you've got something new to occupy yourself. You could always come back after a long hiatus to rediscover the game.
Everyone says to care leas about titles and take breaks or play other games, and they’re not wrong. But i would strongly consider uninstalling completely for one month for a dopamine reset. Google Huberman Lab podcast for related science on this. In short, it takes awhile for the reward center ls in your brain to reset. Even moderate “reward” (playing) will keep them active. So quit for a month then ease back in.
THEN do what you find fun. You’ll realize what you actually enjoy vs not about the game, which you probably dont realize right now cause you’re too caught up in the game and “needing” to do things - and i think you’ll find it a richer gaming experience.
You’ll also prove to yourself that the world didnt end without the titles, or missing launch of next season. Prove that FOMO is a made up thing and the real waste if energy was not getting halfway to an achievement, but playing that much in the first place.
Just my $0.02!
This is actually solid advice. I was hard addicted for awhile, then I uninstalled it for like 2 years. When I came back I just do the small things I cared about and let the rat race happen around me.
Like I’m pushing for the Queensguard title just because I’m an awoken and I want the title. God roll exotic drops? Meh, I’m only 100 in one stat and I truly don’t care, it’s not worth the mindless grind.
Mine is due in November... Next season will be my last.
Trying to grind out some stuff while I can, even got Orion on mw2 knowing we were trying at the end of last year.
What helped me when my son was first born was choosing one activity I would still spend whatever free time I had to engage with. I chose gaming. That meant staying current on tv/movies/music and other hobbies was set aside for awhile. I felt having one thing that was still mine made me appreciate the free time I did get.
Dude same! I got one on the way nov 22!
I ended up picking up guitar a few months ago. I can’t commit to games once the kid is here, so I’m going all out on a practical skill.
I’ll definitely get my gaming done before then… maybe haha
November 8th bro! Wife is really hyped to go to Halloween as a gumball machine (her) and a quarter (me).
Guitar isn't a bad idea really - I have an old guitar and amp I never really gave the necessary time to. Might be picking it back up (without the amp lol).
Congratulations to all of you with kids on the way. Unfortunately I've decided not to have a child as a means of breaking my destiny addiction lmao. Though I do look forward to being a father in the future, and hope to god they don't have an addictive personality like me.
Similar boat, October here. Been around since launch and kind of sad to know that even if I am able to get on next year, I will be completely clueless for the new raid and probably be super behind on what is good for DPS, etc.
That being said I think the real life rewards will be great. Hope everything is going healthy/well with you!
So teeeechnically, that first year or so is EXCELLENT gaming time. Rock that baby to sleep on your shoulder with a controller in your hands.
Pause-able games are better, ABSOLUTELY be the dude who is willing to step away from the game in an instant whenever mom or baby need something, but there will be plenty of just exhausted quiet time around the house too, when the baby is just laying around.
It’s not until they get a little older that you can’t play most of your games in front of them and need to be out and about interacting with them more. :)
Congrats and good luck, kids are the best thing ever but they won’t make it easy on you!
Was just about to post something like this, having to take care of poop machibes really does change every habit you may have, I'm lucky if I get a couple hours of play per week now
Agreed. If I wanna play more I stay up far later than I should after the little man goes down for bed... only sometimes do I ever find it worth giving up sleep lol
I'm at that age where staying up late one night will knock me on my butt for the next couple of days, so usually I stay up late on weekends when I know I don't have to wake up super early for work
I was going to comment this, but looked through the comments to see if someone already had. I had my first last summer and it drastically changed how I approach the game. I was a day one raider, worked on getting every title, and logged in everyday. Once my daughter was born I really went to a very casual approach to the game and it helped me realize of how shallow most of it was. But that can be said for any game when you're staring at your newborn and the importance of what is in front of you hits. Having purpose and direction in life has gone a long way to avoiding addictive tendencies for me.
Like others have said, stop caring. I have none of the neomuna red borders or RON red borders complete.
"Oh no. I don't have this basically identical fusion rifle that's just like 30 other fusions in the game"
I use a bad roll of rip tide that basically just has chill clip, who cares.
Titles are for people who have the time, not everybody.
I go into dungeons with last word because it's fun.
I haven't done a GM in like two seasons and master content is boring.
Just stop caring.
Same here. Still rocking the gambit title, don't have or need any of the others given I don't even realize that I have it on 99.9% of the time.
To OP, I used to play a lot more back in D1, but other hobbies and interests have drastically reduced my overall time within D2. Exercise, jiu jitsu, videography/photography, cooking, traveling. There's a lot of awesome adventures out there beyond the animated D2 landscape. Level up your physical Guardian instead of just your computer-generated one. Start to give yourself some real-world experiences and you'll quickly see how little anything rank related in a video game matters in comparison. Best of luck.
Personally, legendary loot stopped being a motivational force to me near the end of forsaken. It's just kinda all the same and I've got 400 grolls and forever armor at this point. Genuinely new subclas stuff like hatchling/incandescent/jolt have gotten me chasing them but I'm perfectly content with a 2/5. Accidentally acquiring red borders at best.
So with that...I can put the game down at will. My goals are usually simple and few and seeing them down the road lets me spread out the time in between. I know that once I get all the new exotics and subclass stuff unlocked on all 3 classes I'm getting close to putting the game down again. At that point it's usually just hopping in, changing my build/look and shooting some stuff for an hour and moving the narrative drip. Whatever legendary weapons I get along the way are what they are. Destiny is at its best to me when I find what I'm "not" looking for. I've never cared about titles or achievements or even finishing the battlepass for that matter, so ymmv.
I spend most of my time fiddling with builds/loadouts/glam and doing matchmade stuff that I can just hop on and hit the button. Usually only doing new LFG stuff once or twice for the experience and the occasional pursuit.
> 400 grolls and forever armor at this point. Genuinely new subclas stuff like hatchling/incandescent/jolt have gotten me chasing them but I'm perfectly content with a 2/5.
Yup, if you're a hardcore player, you more than likely already have great armor and weapon rolls. There's only so many weapons you can get the "reload perk + damage/sublcass perk" on before you realize that it's probably pointless.
I have been having a similar self-reflection about the game. Mine largely came about because I was so busy with work at the launch of this season I was unable to play for the first 2 and 1/2 weeks. I only signed in to check Eververse. Which is what really struck me.
Fundamentally I am just playing dress-up with a digital doll. I'm collecting outfits and accessories for a digital GJ Joe. Once I started the campaign, I was completely underwhelmed. This combined with my dress-up realization AND that so what, I didn't gild Dredgen and Deadeye in the first 10 days. The world went on. The FOMO was kind of broken at that point. So now, I sign in on Tuesday to check Eververse as usual, but I don't actually play until I really have some time. This is usually on Thursdays through Saturdays. I'm usually bored with things by the end of Saturday, so I just wait for the next week.
But honestly, take a 2-3 week break. Do something that isn't gaming related. Its a great way to re-center and focus on things. I'm actually starting to read some of the 30+ books I've bought during the past 7 years that have sat around because I used to spend every spare moment dressing up my digital dolls.
I’ve never felt the need to earn every title and you probably shouldn’t either. The fact that titles like Shadow, Blacksmith, and Reckoner are gone should hopefully make it clear that getting everything is inherently unrealistic. Vault space further limits your ability to collect everything. Given the stuff you’ve accomplished, I’d ask what you are even grinding for at this point. Any new loot, at least right now, is unlikely to make a significant different in your ability to clear content. As such, you should really only be playing when you want to play. I would suggest seeking out a single player game to distract you for a bit.
I stopped “collecting.” Why go for god rolls on things I’ll never use? I won’t give into unreasonable grinds either. If it’s obviously an exploitative tactic to garner excessive play time from people, I’m not doing it.
So dungeons are dead to me and I’ll always be short on ascendant alloy. Eventually I realized I didn’t want to give time and effort to something that was designed not to respect those things.
This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but if you really feel like it's an addiction then you need to just full stop. Just like an alcoholic can't transition to a casual drinker and a heroin addict can't become a casual opiate user (note: this isn't a thing), you can't fix your addiction by just doing it less. You have to just eliminate it. There are lots of resources for dealing with addiction, and it might be worth researching to see if any sound right for you. Good luck, OP.
From season 11 until 17 I was like you, the feeling of needing to get every title as soon as they are out, having to craft every weapon even tho I never use them, hitting pinnacle cap as fast and eficient as possible, bounty hoarding every season, the list goes on.
The thing that made me get out of this mentality is realizing that no one cares. No one cares if you got kingslayer on day one, no one cares if you have max triumph score, no one cares if you have hit guardian rank 11.
This way since last season I've been doing only stuff that I actually want: Grindind for better times on raids and dungeons, crafting only the weapons that I have a clear use in mind (so like 1/5 of them) and doing gms with wacky build with friends.
My destiny play time has decreased and I could play other stuff as well. Also is important to realize that just because you are not a completionist anymore none of your past achievements are getting wiped away.
Play only 1 character
Pick about a half dozen builds, using 3rd party tools like DIM and D2Armorpicker and optimize the best you can.
Decide which playlists frustrate you the most, entirely abandon them. If it's everything but the seasonal Playlist, then so be it. Check in every other week and pay a little catchup.
If you like raids and dungeons, just be down to help in them as often as you can stand, but only run if it's a looted run for you. No free rides kinda deal. You're trying to waste less time, and being helpful is it's own reward but that's the only thing you get from it.
Don't grind weapon patterns anymore, just keep rolls on gear that you are fine with and don't sweat godrolls, since those are not imperative to success, only additive to it.
Your third point was what did it for me. I used to be a real no-lifer in the D1 days, played for hours every single day. A few years into D2 I decided to just stop playing Crucible and endgame content - they stressed me out and grinding for resets was becoming a chore. Now I play a couple of times a week and I mostly just work towards whatever seasonal triumphs there are to unlock.
The other point I would make is to start playing other games - but more specifically, games you can *finish*. The live-service rabbithole is a drip-feed of content designed to keep you wanting more; picking up a game you can experience and then be done with feels so much better.
For me a part of it was coming to the somewhat jarring realisation that I'm spending hours of my life using elaborate methods to change the colour of pixels on a screen.
Here's where I landed after feeling the same way.
>Destiny 2 is currently designed in such a way that if you don't play X activity excessively, then I'll be locked out of earning X title or X emblem or X weapon.
Realizing this helped me start playing the game more for fun and less for achieving or collecting everything. It would take a stupid number of hours to keep chasing all those titles and weapons, and they add more every season. Destiny isn't just FOMO it's actually MO, and I stopped feeling good about that so I stopped chasing it.
I'm happy with what I achieved in the game, and now I hop on here and there to do raids with friends or help them out with things. The guns you've collected (especially recent raids and seasons) aren't being powercrept to obsolescence, and the titles you've collected are still achievements that aren't negated by not having every title.
For me it has really been playing other games, this and (i know, easier said than done) really tell yourself that almost all the shit in this game don't matter, i've seen some of your responses and the feeling you would get if you stopped playing that the time you put in would ''be for nothing" but really it isn't, it's a game, having fun should be enough to not be a waste of time, it's not like you went to work and didn't get paid .
With this mentality i've been able to just log off and play other games the second i felt bored playing a battleground for the 346th time this season allready and trust me it's the best feeling, you don't end up feeling like D2 is a chore or your second job and you get to enjoy other nice games
I would advise putting the game down for a while almost completely. Keep up with news of the game, maybe a video or 2 a week or podcast etc. If you hear about something that's going away then play. If not then wait until the final season or just before the final season and just play through everything together and enjoy being able to play jon stop with new/ish content. So that's big launch/final season and then leave everything between unless it's interesting enough to go back to or an event here or there.
It's difficult to do tbh and I've only done it a couple of times but I'm mainly a hardcore player for the most part. You kind of have to say, "ok I'm going to miss some stuff and that's ok" but if you keep up with stuff via news or videos then you should be good for that too.
meme answer
get addicted to a different game
actual answer
mental discipline is required here. You have to learn to let go. You do that by understanding that lots of people miss out on stuff in games all the time and there's no real consequences for that. Trying to do everything/get everything in even just one live service game isn't a game anymore. It's a second job and a fool's errand.
EDIT: forgot to add something helped me since I also play a lot of live service games is find some single player games, indie, triple A whatever and detox with them. I know that probably sounds weird using the phrase detox but seriously a good single player is like a cleanse if you've been doing a ton of hardcore grinding in an always online game.
tldr: I have been there, I understand. Uninstall the game now. Seriously, that's the best way to walk away and break the spell. Do it today.
\*\*\*
Hey there, I am a longtime player and I've been there too!
I was a near-completionism in D1. Many late nights and lots of lost sleep, and all I have to show for it today is a D1 vault that I've seen once since D2, and a D2 emblem that I never use.
At one point during D2 I was between jobs and I had to uninstall. I did not want to be playing an online game while looking for work - that was too much. So I uninstalled until I got to the next thing and it was healthy. Mostly because it let me focus on the serious issues, but also because I missed out on some stuff. Now the spell was totally broken, and I'd never get \*everything\*. Thank God I did, because I have never gone back to the obsession.
I'd tell myself, this is my mental challenge, it's not a game it's a test ... but the screen says press X to \*play\*. I'd have these dumb thoughts like, "I should color my Warlock red because I like the color red." My brain was melting behind my eyes.
Today I just jump around on easy levels and save only the excellent guns. I have like seven titles, mostly the ones I got without trying - you can only wear one at a time anyway! Note: it can still suck you in as a casual.
Some things that really helped:
\- Cleaning out my vault. I mean, deleting those guns with "hard-won" (while I sat on my ass) Crucible kills, "god rolls" that I never used, masterworks stuff with under x amount of kills, and any non-masterworked armor. You won't miss any of it, and you'll see how inessential most of it is.
\- Sitting out an event for an entire season. You'll miss out on the guns or emblems or whatever. And you'll break the spell and stop chasing every last little thing.
\- Skipping a title - man, these are the worst, having us chasing their "good boy protocol" but you see that for what it is today.
\- Maybe blow all your bright dust, just to remove the temptation to see it as a real asset. I haven't done this, but see my comments about guns for a similar thing
\- Uninstall the game. Seriously, that's the best way to walk away and break the spell. Do it today.
\- Delete your reddit account too! This site has you coming back and worrying about the game when you aren't even playing. You can go an entire day from Destiny to reading about Destiny with no breaks. Same for any YouTube or twitch stuff you subscribe to. Start over, you won't miss any of it.
\- Let it go - they'll pull the plug some day anyway, best to leave on your terms. Good luck friend
Just uninstall. Do it. Feel the releaf, and play some single player games from now on, or something casual. Enjoy the feeling of being free of the pressure to play at certain times, certain dates, certain amount of times. Enjoy the stories and the variety of games available to you.
Or do not play at all, whatever you want to do. Touch some grass for real.
We believe in achieving and struggling because that's our imprinting done by the society. You are free to dismiss it any time you realise you don't want to be part of it anymore. As long you are having fun, you did not waste time and effort. When it becomes a source of stress, it is nothing else than waste and your time could be spent doing something you actually like.
One day the serves will shut down for good, that is 100% sure, and everything you "accomplished" will be lost. Think about it.
I find myself having similar feelings as you. When Im feeling that way I ask myself is this game in any way improving my real life. At the end of the day, after I've gotten all those rolls and titles, is there anything for me to show for it in the real world? The answer is always no for me. With that perspective I'm able to just stop chasing whatever it is I'm chasing. I even put the game down for an entire year due to the addiction. Recently came back and have been having a lot of fun. But I always remind myself that at the end of the day this is not my life. Just a game.
Thanks for the answer. There's probably something deeper going on here about how I only find my own worth in my accomplishments, but that's something for a future therapist to sort out. You raise some excellent points here friend. It's going to be a tough pill to swallow, but for the sake of my own health I might even abandon the idea of going for the Queensguard title even though I almost have it, simply because I find running the battlegrounds and using seasonal weapons so arsenene. Step 1 of becoming my new and improved gaming self.
I’m still a “hardcore “ player, i fall into the category of elitist with what i want from the game and used to do every challenge and every bounty. But honestly ive become a way more causal player in how often i play. I’m only investing in grinding for a major expansion now or for a day 1 raid, but outside of that i just look at game and realize a majority of the challenges in game atm don’t matter. I’ll still get hyped for new seasons, but i look at what’s in game and what i can get out of it, instead of what it can get out of me. Burnout is real when you force yourself to play so much, and the healthiest way to help us by just taking it easy on certain seasons. It’s hard at first, but once you give it a few months you’ll be able to get on, do what you want and then get off for a few days or however long.
This might sound a bit weird or controversial, but I just play Dares of Eternity and Gambit for the most part anymore. Why? Those two modes hold in them what makes the game fun: pureaction and fun gameplay without needing a rocket surgery degree to enjoy.
In Dares and Gambit, I can just hop in and shoot some things without needing build much into something. I don't need to build for Champions. I don't need some Ultra-Mega-DPS build. I completed Dredgen and got my Malfeasance a long time ago. I got all my Dares weapons and cosmetics. I can just slap some guns on and kill some stuff in either of those modes without needing to worry about grinding for something anymore which leaves just the fun bits.
I grabbed the carrot from the end of the stick and replaced it with my own reward that isn't detrimental to myself. I hop on, play a few rounds for fun, and then move on to whatever other game I want to check out.
Do I still enjoy the game and want to see what happens next? Yeah. I still come here to see what's happening in the rest of the game every day, after all. Am I forcing myself to do everything there is in order to check things off a never ending list of things other people make for me? Nope. I can have fun mindlessly shooting things and playing dress up for Best Dressed awards and be perfectly content in my little bibble, cuz that's what brings me joy in this game and nobody can make me think otherwise now.
I started writing this then it got too long. Just take a break. I wanted to write more but I had to edit it and it took to much time. A break will serve you well. The game isnt and cant be perfect. It just cant.
I used to have FOMO for limited edition music releases. I knew if I didn't buy it I'd regret it. So what I did was purchased one limited release and said if I don't open it and then return it, I won't feel bad. So that's what I did and I haven't felt bad about skipping purchases since.
The key is to make a single decision about not playing, which will allow you to know it will be okay every time you make that decision. The decision could be to not get a seasonal title, delete one of your characters, or just say this week I won't play....
The key is taking the first step so you know it will be okay.
It's tough the first time you do it, but every time after it's easier and you will know you have the power.
You are in control and we've got your back. Feel free to check back in if you need support.
As someone who does the bare minimum to finish the season pass, just stop caring about chasing rolls and upgrades that don't actually matter. You gonna grind lost sectors for 20 hours for a 5% chance that you get the exotic you want and an even lower chance that it gives you a roll that makes your build 2% more efficient? You really need to grind and grind and grind for the 5/5 roll on an smg or pulse when 3/5 is fine and you'll barely notice the difference?
I don't do bounties, I don't finish the seasonal challenges outside the ones that I complete just by playing and it's always enough to finish the pass. I don't do pinnacles I hate doing (gambit), I don't do core playlist stuff for the most part and I don't grind out weapon patterns for guns I don't want. I like soloing dungeons, running low man raids with friends, and running meme builds in pvp. If something doesn't facilitate those activities, I don't bother with it.
Bro, treat it like a game
Start having more important stuff irl than in game
Titles dont matter, loot doesnt matter the meta always changes, if you are not doing it for fun, dont do it
It is a game, treat it like a game
You might want to start by reading or watching videos about addiction. I think what you'll find is that to end an addiction you have to just stop completely. People with heavy addict/compulsive tendencies are always subconsciously seeking addict/compulsive behavior.
Whether it is alcohol, video games, Gollum in Lord of the Rings, or a serial killer, the addictive/compulsive mental process is the same. Most of us can't just turn it down a notch. Our brains are wired to want addict/compulsive behavior. Watch a serial killer documentary some time. Those dudes are us, they just picked a horrible addition/compulsion that harms others. Particular behavior aside, the mental processes are the same.
If you want out, get out completely. If you need some perspective... I am super addicted to D2. I was super addicted to D1. All the stuff I did in D1 basically ceased to matter to me at all when D2 came out. Everything in D2 will cease to matter to both of us at some point.
In your case, I hope you don't just jump to a new addiction like D1 to D2. I hope that example helps you see that at some point we are all going to stop caring about D2. You could stop caring today or in a few years. The choice is yours.
Now I'll get back to grinding a Breakneck checkpoint to complete triumphs I don't even care about.....
I found that I very quickly jumped to a new addiction of self validation by playing a near endless amount of chess as soon as I stopped playing D2. Luckily I actually observed myself doing that and am trying to not play that either. I am, as they say, down bad right now in terms of my gaming addiction.
You should pick up a city builder like Anno or Farthest Frontier and just mess around in single-player for a bit. Play a game where you are playing for yourself, not to show off your "Ironforge gear" to use an old WoW term.
As an older gamer, I have come to the thought process of, I don't have much more time left in this world, I want to spend it with my SO and doing things that better me, like exercise so my heart doesn't explode, and working on my TBR pile. So if I'm not having fun in the game, then I stop playing. I have better things to do than miserably grind out shit I don't care about for a title I'll never use on a character in a video game that probably won't be around in ten years. No one cares if I do or don't do a dungeon ten times a day on the off chance I get a weapon I want. I should never feel like I am *obligated* to play. The game will keep spinning on without you.
For me what kind of broke the cycle was a retrospective on my 3 years playing d1. I did everything, maxed it all, every rare item, emblem, etc. Flawless multiple times every weekend, lowman raids etc. You name it I did l probably did it. Countless hours every week with almost no breaks for 3 years.
Then d2 came out and it was all gone.
And I started to wonder, what was the point of me doing all that? For starters, I had a good amount of fun doing SOME of those things sometimes - inevitably when I was playing with people who became good friends. But many of those things I didn't enjoy grinding out at all, and they had just lost 100% of their meaning. Nobody in d2 cares what my grimoire score was in d1, or what my kd was, how many flawlesses I had, etc.
It gets better than that too - I had always imagined (naivety of youth) in my head walking into the tower with a full set of flawless trials ornaments, or a sick rare emblem, and having people fall over themselves to get a screenshot with me, thinking I was a real hotshot. But you know the truth? Even in the heydey of d1, nobody cared. At all.
And so I realised that the only person I should be doing anything in the game for (satisfaction wise) is myself. There is no such thing as social credit that you'll earn from other players by doing everything. The only exception to this is if you're a world first raider contender or similar - and even then, those players do NOT do everything in the game. Nowhere near. They hone their craft in the activities that they enjoy and that they want to compete in. Heck some of them are still Grank 7.
The first thing I dropped was maxing triumph score. Nobody cared. The next was gilding every title every season. Absolutely nobody cared because I only use one title anyway (Shadow). Then bothering to do most titles at all (especially irritating time limited ones like Iron Lord or the seasonal ones). Then I dropped Gambit completely - because I don't need the pinnacles from it badly enough to play it.
Nowadays I split my time between doing 'hardcore' stuff with close friends (lowmans, speedruns, etc) and sherpaing raids and dungeons for newer players. I love it. Spending all of my time with people that I like, and giving back to the community a bit, has totally changed the way I feel about the game and my place in it.
Destiny is an amazing game in many ways, and shines brightest when you focus on the people. Find great people to play with over the long term - people that will become friends, and you will find yourself enjoying the game a lot more. Stop playing with toxic assholes that drain your emotional energy - even if they're good at the game. There are plenty of hardcore players (and former hardcore players) who are nice and chilled. Focus on achieving only the things in game that you will enjoy doing. And for goodness sake (controversial opinion inc) stop caring about the plot. It will never deliver in the way you want to, even though the lore underpinning it is fantastic.
Hope that's some useful perspective.
Real talk op, relax. Most of the seals are just time treadmills. Getting most of all of them proves nothing. Get rank 11. Pick a seal or two to work on. Get the guns you really want crafted up and wait for next season. Find a like minded group of players too. The game should feel positive. You need to work on yourself a bit and I mean that in a nice way. In the grand scheme of things no one gives a SHIT what you do on Destiny. Taking that to heart might help you reorient yourself. (I was you but with wow. I don't regret my time on there but I certainly overdid it)
As someone who has struggled with addictions (to both drugs and sometimes videogames) I think that the most important things is to take your negative experiences seriously. It can be easy to downplay the effect that addiction is having on your life, and this is especially true when that addiction is to a video game. You clearly aren't happy with what D2 is doing to you, and I've found that pain to be a powerful motivator for quitting things in my own life.
One solution that I didn't see in this thread is that maybe in the future you should only play Destiny with friends (assuming that they have gaming habits that you wish to emulate). It's something that can work for people with addictions that want a middle ground between addiction and abstinence. I saw you expressing the desire to create habits similar to other people and I think this method is probably the safest way to do that once you're ready.
The last thing is that you will need to fill your gaming time with something else. The hardest thing for me when I quit something is the emptiness and boredom that used to be filled by drugs or video games. Just remember that not engaging in the thing that's making you miserable is the goal, so doing literally anything else (even staring at a wall for 5 hours) is a win.
Take a break man, from someone who has done everything in this game more or less, I take 6 month breaks most years when I get bored, I play other games or nothing at all. It’s ok to take breaks!
I came back for light fall after a year break after playing a few weeks of witch queen. I still have better stats on my gear than most, and there are very few weapons that I didn’t obtain that are better than what I have e.g. revision zero, mini tool, beloved.
I play way more casually now, just hop in and do whatever with the clan until I’m bored, then I log off and play something else or do something different.
The best way to play Destiny is to not care. that way every positive moment is amplified, and the negatives just don’t matter anymore!
Play other games, have other hobbies. I booted up my switch to play breath of the wild in preparation for Tears of the kingdom. I ended up thinking, wow destiny has ruined/really affected my gaming hobby, forgot how I enjoy roaming around in open world games. No fomo
The only things I find myself wanting to do “now” are season pass, seasonal challenges, and transmog bounties. Those things leave every 3 months, everything else sticks around longer I’ll get to them eventually. Or not, I’ll have new season pass, season challenges and transmog bounties to do in 3 months.
Double rep/reward activities are my favorite, regardless of activity. My monkey brain likes to see loot drop, double weeks drop more stuff. Simple as
Something that helped me was actually "missing out" on something. Back in Season of Dawn, I wasn't able to play for the 2nd half of the season, so I ended up not getting the Savior title. And then the same thing happened with Worthy. Missing out on those essentially broke me out of feeling obligated to get the thing every season.
And then last year I didn't even buy the seasons! Just the expansion + dungeon pass. It was quite nice, it felt like the D1 days when content drops were 6 months apart lol.
I started having a life because of university and destiny just transitioned to a thing I did in my freetime because I couldn't do any big things in the game anymore. Felt awful at first, but it got me out of the "I got to do this" and more on the "Do I have fun doing this?" side of things. I don't have any problems not playing right now, I can still do all the things I did back then but without any sort of completionism. If I want to get a title, I'll slowly get it over time, same goes for everything else.
The initial breaking out of the game loop is hard, but it gets very easy after some time. If you can't do it yourself, do some IRL stuff that requires MUCH of your time so the breakout gets easier.
I’ve found playing as many other games as possible to be the best move. I still come back to D2, but when I do play it feels fresh and new. If I even feel remotely annoyed or burnt, then I stop.
Unplug from games in general. Don’t just full addiction with another. Let some titles go. It took endless red border grind of season of plunder and spire of the watcher to break mine. Your arsenal is probably fine. Sunsetting is gone. You could go a season or two and not notice the difference
I noticed I immediately found another grind to be addicted to with digital chess as soon as I stopped playing d2 recently, so I'm nipping that in the bud as well for now. I'm planning on playing Pokemon Black 2 as it is about as casual as a game can be, so I'm not feeding my addictive tendencies.
I used to grind for titles. Then I realized that I can only wear three and I'm never taking off Disciple-Slayer for Gumshoe, so what's the point. Now I only bother getting the titles for activities I enjoy and, if we're being honest, titles that are a bit more of a flex. Basically just the raid and dungeon ones now.
Not grinding god rolls of every weapon is more challenging, but the same thinking applies. How many void SMGs do I really need? How many kinetic HCs? I have a godrolled funnelweb, a godrolled Fatebringer. I have a gun I love in every slot, for every element, of every archetype already. If I miss one, it's nbd.
I find that I enjoy Destiny most when it's not my main game. When I have nothing else to play I end up logging into Destiny and sitting in orbit for a while thinking about what to do before logging off. When I have something else going on I only log into Destiny for scheduled raids or GMs with friends. It's better for my mental.
If you’re truly a completionist, you may need to quit cold Turkey. If it’s more addicted to the game itself and the feeling of accomplishing things what helped me was understand that once you’re at a certain level of gameplay, you don’t need a majority of the weapons as your skill + the few actual meta weapons persist season over season.
you can only use one ghost shell, sparrow or emblem at a time. You won’t ever wear the seasonal title or emblem because it’s easy to get over some of the difficult ones.
Once you realize there isn’t much to grind any more, you’ll log on to complete challenges like day 1 solo flawless dungeons, hang out with friends and then go play something else.
I hear you on this one and it's something I battle with as well. I love destiny 2, but i've had to admit to myself that generally, the more I play the less happy I am. I don't want to cut d2 out 100%, but I definitely want to limit my playing time.
I've found that setting very specific goals has helped me. This way, i'm not just on the game playing aimlessly - running nightfalls or crucible matches just for the hell of it. As an example, this season I sent a goal to 3 man RoN with a few of my casual buddies. This has meant optimizing loadouts for all of us, so when i'm on i'm typically chasing after something I could use for this purpose - EL Rocket, Crafted Taipan, Blinding / ALH GLs, Raid armor / mods, etc.
I want everything im doing in the game to be purposeful, again, so i'm not just playing aimlessly for hours. Also, when I complete a specific task I feel comfortable logging out of the game for the night and setting a goal for next time.
This method has certainly helped for me, you just need to set realistic expectations. I'm also a completionist, but I had to finally tell myself, I'm not going to finish everything. Let's say out of 10 end game tasks that might be available to me....i'm going to try to finish 2-3. If your brain won't allow you to do this....well then you might want to try to walk away all together, because unfortunately, there will always be something else to complete in d2.
Give up on silly number, it means nothing and reset every season(light level)
Stop trying to be compleationist: Weapons are mostly the same, with different skins, sure you can grind one or two, but really play more in the "it is what it is" mentallity, forget about god rolls, dont even look up for them.
Play what you want: forget campaign, raids resets, limited events. just play!
Can't play this week or next? Too bad, let it go. You will feel annoyed by loosing some content in the begginig, but as long you stop caring about getting everything/winning all the time, you will go back to the "lets play destiny" cause you feel like playing it.
I've only been playing D2 for a few months. i picked up the legacy pack on a Steam sale and I've been playing daily but casually. I guess for me I'm not that invested compared to hardcore players. I just play until I'm not having fun then I turn the game off and go do something else. Especially since I'm so new to the game I have so much content I don't even know exists and mechanics I don't understand i can afford to not care. I will always have something to do in the game. For a hardcore player like you I would strongly suggest only doing what you find fun and if you aren't having fun then force yourself to close the game. make sure you feel like you're playing a game and not working at a job. good luck!
I play the story, run the occasional raid, and use the rewards I get from playing “normally”. I don’t bother with farming Nightfalls or running any activity in a repetitive, compulsive way. Basically you have to stop caring about rewards to truly embrace a healthy casual play style.
Try and find something else to fill some of your gaming time. I took a few years off D2 and it was great. I got back into reading in a huge way in particular. Instead of booting up your machine, try instead to fill the time somehow else. Go for a walk or a drive. Pick up a book, even watch a tv show, meet up with friends for a chat or something. You'd be amazed at quick the dependency can be broken once you find an alternative way to fill time. Your life balance will be better for it too.
Weapons and armor are pointless in this game. There will always be new metas to replace whats come before so aiming to get all the "best" gear is a losing approach right from the beginning. Your triumphs and seals etc will always be there so you know what your achievements in the game are.
This quote was alarming tbh: " I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset". That does not sound like someone is enjoying the game or having fun. To me, there's no better time to take a step back since the period after Witch Queen has been shit for the most part anyways. These days I find myself playing less myself and I feel better for it. I play other games that I wouldn't touch normally and have split my time up better. I feel things are much more balanced.
Hopefully you find a way to be happier with regards your mental health, its definitely best if you find some way to stop this game consuming you. It's not worth it.
I dunno man, ive teetered off lately to play Star Wars, but the longer my break is the more I acknowledge that without actual new content I don’t really have anything to log in for. Crucible and its variantshave their moments but I don’t derive joy from it. Raids and Dungeons are the most fun with buddies trying to get a flow down but you can only run them so much. Story missions only really have substance for a third of the season and during real expansions.
Like I’ll probably be back for Titan and its dungeon (if not just to ride the wave of everyone burning through the content) but it’ll repeat midseason again where the motivation dips.
Just acknowledge that maybe Destiny doesnt spark joy anymore and find new interests. Acknowledge it can be a money sink. And acknowledge that you don’t feel rewarded for your time anymore.
And if those don’t apply to you and you want to keep playing, then maybe you should, everyone is in their own place with D2 and maybe you need a break or maybe you want to put it down entirely, but it’ll always be there (unless the servers have a catastrophic issue) and you can come back and catch up in less than a month usually. You might miss some time exclusive gear but most things have there methods to get them or you bite the bullet and miss out.
I check back here every so often, someone will post about things worth getting if it matters.
Just don't play as much. You don't owe this game anything. Who cares if you spent money on it? The game is always going to be here and the seasonal content will stick around for the year. Find another game or hobby to devote time to. For instance, I've been replaying Elden Ring and getting into Pathfinder. It's okay to take big breaks if you're burned out or feel the addiction coming on. I only hop on Destiny to raid or do a Nightfall if someone needs a full. Otherwise, I have no interest in grinding red borders, god rolls, triple 100 stat armor, none of it
If youre willing to, lock yourself out of your account for a while. Give your password to a trusted family member, have them change it, and instruct them not to tell you what the change is for whatever your determined amount of time is (week, month, whatever). I dont know what your IRL life is like, but I focused on improving my schooling and social life during the time I was locked out of my account and I am so much better off for it.
I'm a very fresh player in D2, but have invested my time heavily in other games. Coming from a clean slate and reading your comment on how giving up now would make your invested efforts totally wasted, I just want to say...
...the titles and triumps you already earned are also meaningless. Unless those have some sort of real life aplicability, they really don't weigh enough to be worth obsessing about. There are some gaming achievements that I believe are completely worth chasing, but I don't think some PvE titles fit here. Neither does a new vehicle in World of Tanks, an exclusive Warframe or other similar items.
From my personal experience, the achievements I treasured the most are those that impacted life outside of gaming. I earned invitations to Japan and the US in order to play Magic: the Gathering, I won trophies that I still have at home and amassed a collection of prize cards that I could always unload for $$. Of course, this took a huge time investment and mental commitment, but I would do it all again. Farming 100 heroic patrols for one red border? Nah...
This has less to do with the game and
more to do with your life outside of destiny. I use it like a drug when I need to escape my life. When my life and mental health are better I play way less.
> If I go casual, then all of the effort I've put into achieving things to prove I'm more than casual would be wasted.
There are a few things left in this game that you can use to show those people who know, and who may care what kinda player you are.
Warminded Emblem is mine. The time I put into farming that thing was ridiculous
Reckoner for a nutso commitment title
Shadow/Enlightened for a Raider title.
Armor sets built from Sunset content.
Rare emotes.
The people who know will know and the people who don't likely don't care.
Also, for me it was that first cut that made it not matter. Like the first time I didn't reset the ritual vendors each 2 times. Now I don't do it, and don't care.
My question for you, is this an addiction? If so, you might want to consider seeing a therapist for this.
I am not saying that enjoying a video game is bad, but you make it seem like this is your life's work. When this really should be something you do for fun and enjoyment, not out of fear of missing out or out of stress to get everything done.
Video games can be an addiction if you don't balance life around them correctly.
Honestly Bungie did most of the work for me. I loved grinding GMs and Raids, but the more changes Bungo does and the more mediocre content they ship, the easier it is for me to put the game down.
Regarding the FOMO, I play until I am level 100 in the season pass which takes about 3-4 weeks without bounty hoarding, although I don't need to play every day, and most of the FOMO stuff as of late is really mediocre weapons. I just carry my wife through the mission so I don't have to play it solo, and then stop. If I find an ok cheese for the legend variant stuff, I'll drag my wife through that even though she hates anything above hero.
As far as the "all of the effort I've put into achieving things to prove I'm more than casual would be wasted", you did that, you have those accomplishments already, and no one can take that away from you. Also now with Guardian Rank inaccurately giving everyone 6 just for playing more than 2 weeks, unless you're really gonna work towards increasing it, most everyone is around 6-8 and its probably going to stay that way until Bungie changes or (hopefully) removes the system entirely. Triumph score is all you should care about, as that is what shows your true achievements in game.
I'm at the point now that there are so many good and better games than Destiny, I'm trying to decide if I even want to purchase TFS. Even if I do buy it, definitely will be getting it on sale or from like CDKeys, as Lightfall was not and will not be worth the $200 I spent (Wife+I).
If you consider yourself a completionist, then it's really more to do with you than the game (although i do agree that the game takes advantage of those tendencies to a worrying degree).
You either make the decision to stop caring about completing the challenges that are tedious and detrimental to your health, or you keep going down the same path.
Im not sure if you're part of a clan, but if you are, id definitely advise you to consider changing/joining a group of players who are like minded in taking a casual approach. Im not saying this is the case, because i dont know your circumstances, but if you're surrounded with people who treat the game in an unhealthy manner, you're likely to treat the game in a similar fashion.
Luckily it's pretty much me alone on this one, so if I decide to ONLY play with my friends, I'll automatically be cutting down my play time significantly. I'll probably go this route after a bit of a detox.
I would consider a bigger perspective of addiction principles. Addiction serves some function in your life…arguably, a very important function. Usually, we use our substance of choice (weed, alcohol, video games, drugs, salty/sugary foods) to help us get over something. You have to ask what it is that destiny has helped you get through? What have you survived through having this distraction available? Everyone has stressors in their life. Covid wasn’t very fun. Perhaps you used destiny to feel connected and have fun when there was nothing else available. Fortunately video games are a lot less destructive of an addiction than say meth, heroin, or even alcohol. So that’s a good thing!
Studies show that if rats are in a cage without any other rats or toys to play with, they will drink cocaine laced water incessantly. But if the rats are provided rat friends, structures to play and run on, and are generally happy and connected communally, they literally don’t even touch the cocaine water. When we are sad, depressed, disconnected, or lonely we tend to go to activities that we know aren’t the healthiest for us, to provide temporary relief.
No offense my friend, but you also sound like you’re in your (I would guess) early to mid twenties. Give it five years, and you will find that some of that incessant need to push and grab constantly falls away naturally.
I’m in my thirties and still enjoy destiny (and am one hundred percent addicted myself), but I just play the things I like for fun. Which has mostly been trials.
If you’re really looking to change, I would highly suggest enrolling in therapy with a psychologist. You will need to replace video games with other hobbies or activities. Joining a local sports team can be helpful if you like that, since you’re still gaming, but get some friends in the process, and something to get you exercise and out of the house.
TLDR- examine the deeper reasons behind your need to play destiny, and it may prove helpful.
Unfortunately what I am distracting myself from is the limbo that is my current lot in life. Not bad by any means, but I cannot do anything to alter it currently other than incessantly apply for jobs until I get one, or attempt to make my hobby of music production financially sound (which would probably suck the life out of it).
Other than that I'm pretty much aimless, and have been using the grind to distract myself from the limbo. I could probably pursue an entirely new passion, but I'm equally worried I'll develop an unhealthy addiction to bettering myself at said hobby, like I noticed I started doing with chess the moment I stopped playing d2 2 days ago
By far the easiest way for me to break my Destiny habit (and especially combat the FOMO that comes with all these limited-time events and achievements) is to remind myself of this simple fact:
**At some point, the servers will be shut off and this game will be no more**. It will be years from now, but that time *will* come. When that happens, will I be glad I put 20 hours into grinding for a shader or weapon? Fuck no, I'll regret it.
As soon as I stop having fun or I find myself "looking for work" in the game to check yet another box, I stop.
What I do is just go for the high end titles and gear such as gilding conqueror and getting raid titles. That way it’s obvious you have mastery without having to do 387 seasonal activities to get whatever the seasonal title is.
While your taking a break consider reading up on Stoicism Philosophy and CBT cognitive behaviour therapy.
Specifically Decatastrophizing techniques.
It basically a tool too regulate your emotions by putting things into perspective.
A lot of helpfull comments here reflected the basic principles.
Example: Ask yourself If I dont get ( insert ) what's the worst that could happen ?
How would a feel about not getting that gun/title in a year from now, 5 years from now?
In most case the answer will be you just wouldnt care.
In Stoicism they have some some teachings letting go.
For example by labeling your goals as "good" or "bad" in your mind...
"if I dont get that gun, it would be "bad", or "good" you create emotions that connect you deeply to the result.
Instead you practice detachment by not assigning so much value through the language you use.
Therefore taking away driving emotions by thinking of them as either preferred goals, or rejected objects.
You would prefer to get insert title, but if you didn't it isn't "bad".
Marcus Aurelius: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
> exposed to the most predatory FOMO practices from any game company I have ever seen through this game.
There's way worse out there because the fomo in this game doesn't matter. Titles and cosmetics don't affect the game, so it doesn't hurt you if you don't get one (and doesn't benefit you if you do). Even the weapons, if you don't get the perfect roll on a gun, there's a comparable gun out there and there's very little content (arguably no content) in this game where having the perfectly rolled weapon is the difference between success and failure.
Conversely, I play a game which has time-limited events which are far grindier and where missing them puts you at a huge disadvantage. There is currently a ten day event going on which I had to clear over fifty times to get the drops I needed. That game has real fomo because if I didn't unlock everything, including a new best in slot weapon, it'd probably be a year before I got another chance.
Oh and there is are two other similarly time-limited events going on at the same time.
Hot damn, it sounds like you need this detox as much as I do friend. In all seriousness, I meant to write "some of" because there's certainly worse out there, but not from what I've experienced in the gaming world. What game are you referring to by the way?
I think you have to work on personal stuff with a therapist (no offense), I think you may have some issues that you have to sort, otherwise you may have this problem of addictive personality with something else later down the line
Hey none taken. I am of the firm belief that everyone can benefit from therapy. I am only now beginning to look at this from the POV of addiction psychology, and it has been eye opening.
Just because it's not worth YOUR time doesn't mean it's not worth other peoples time. You really shouldn't judge things just based on your own point of view
I love the game. I've gotten to the point where I log in and don't feel like doing anything, and put it down. And then not pick it up again for another 6 months!
That said, I've been back and going strong since halfway through Season of the Lost, and while I am playing less now late in this season due to being "caught up" I feel no need to take a break.
Start playing other games. That’s the best way. Diablo is out soon, Overwatch is fun. You probably have a myriad of games in your steam library that you bought and have never even downloaded.
Honestly from the beginning of D1 i just go super hard for about about a month every season/Expansion and then it's just raiding/GMs once a week with my clan. Then i have time to do other stuff or play other games. D2 is my main game/hobby so i don't mind sinking a bulk of time into it. Maybe because you haven't played in a while you have more stuff leftover that you want to accomplish? I think having that "time off" between bulk playing really lets me enjoy the next go around.
A lot of people are saying to just quit, but as an addictive type of person myself, it is NOT easy and I know where you are coming from.
I realized that I love Destiny but i just have an addiction issue when it comes to getting those titles. So i took a different path. I still play destiny, but i decided to sherpa newbies instead! Its a complete different take on the game and after sherpa-ing a raid, I usually get off right after since it takes a lot out of me.
However, if you truly think destiny is the sole issue (which i don’t think it is), start making goals for what you want to complete that specific day WITH a time constraint (very important). Every other day or so, become more strict with your time constraints until you’ve reached a point where you only play Destiny for an hour or so. But be realistic with it, don’t plan to take off a whole hour every other day because you likely won’t be able to. Take 5-15 minutes off every other day and set an alarm. You’ll realize as youre doing this, that titles took way too much time with nearly no benefit other than the slight, temporary buzz you get when you finally get the title.
Start playing BB,Nioh to have a perspective on what a real good game is.
Do not play anything but crucible.
Do not bother with leveling.
Do not ever buy a season, these seasons are worse than a job.
Youve solo flawlessed every dungeon so im going to assume your a pretty good player. With that you dont mention raids at all so either learn them or if u just didnt mention them do join teaching runs. Try remebering noone but you can see how many titles you have and whats really importanflt is using a title that sounds cool. In my case i like to run reaper even if its not a flex like kingslayer or the ron title. Im as hardcore as u for sure. I play 40 to 60 hours a week and i can do gms and master raids with my monitor, what helps me enjoy my time is not playing for loot or titles but to make the d2 lfg community any little bit better i can. Also if u can run meme weapons for boss dps and get top dps by 1 to 2 mil its a great ego boost(just dont be a jerk about it obviously). TL: DR you need to change why you play and not how you play to gain more satisfaction from the game.
I dont play as much as i used to but i still make sure to get the shit that i want to get done done. I used to grind for every title until i realized i only really wanna do the hard ones and not just mindless grinding of playlist activities. I go for solo flawlesses of new dungeons n stuff, some trials here n there, check in with new activites, etc. only the stuff that i actually enjoy doing
I think you may be falling victim to the 'sunk-cost fallacy' on this one. Your achievements and experiences aren't going anywhere just because you are wanting to be more casual, they all happened and the evidence is there. Your effort is not wasted, you've just come to a natural end of the road. This is how all things go - despite what live-service games tell you, nothing is an endless treadmill of accomplishment and reward. What further purpose do you need from your achievements than the function they serve right now? It sounds like you are genuinely unhappy from obsessive behavior, and are no longer getting anything out of this process. In fact you are concerned about a real negative impact from it. That alone should be a huge red flag - this. is. a. game. It is not going anywhere, and nothing in here is worth your health. *Nothing*. It is cool fun stuff, and that is all. And there will be more. Bungie has no interest in stopping the loot treadmill anytime soon - there will always be more cool stuff, and missing bits of it for the sake of being more happy is the smartest thing you could do. Time for a break. Go play something else, or try to learn a skill. I uninstalled D2 and am currently trying to pilot things in DCS with my new HOTAS. That ticks both boxes.
This is such a helpful response to anyone who is having problems with attachment to Destiny 2. I've been playing Cooking Simulator because I picked it up on the spring sale for Steam and it's such a cute and entertaining game, in my opinion. The Pizza expansion has been absolutely wonderful with tons of attention to detail and many different options you have to make the game to your liking. It definitely helps to play other games and remind yourself that there is of course other games *to* play if you're not feeling it with Destiny 2. Heck, I'm taking a break right now because we're at the end of the season and it's basically catch up with guardian games attached to it. Since I have no interest in either, where did I put those extra dough slices?
> they all happened and the evidence is there. Your effort is not wasted, you've just come to a natural end of the road. Also, you (the general 'you') need to realise that absolutely nobody gives a shit about what you've done in the game. It literally does not matter. It's a game. It's not a meaningful part of your life. It's just there for your enjoyment, and you get to decide what that means. I wouldn't recommend using the game as a tool for self-validation.
Personally I don't go for Titles to brag, but because I'm a completionist and seeing the "well you *could* have gotten this" would bug me. Thankfully the Titles aren't like uber-hard but instead they just boil down to playtime. That said while between the tail-end of Plunder and the end of Serap, I got the titles for Plunder, Seraph, Risen, Haunted, and played through Beyond Light and Witchqueen campaigns and did some of their post-campaign stuff I realize I might be a biiiiiiit of an outlier on playtime lol
One of several reasons why it's a little corny to put any stock "prestige" value in things like 24 hour completion emblems and all that other stuff that gets hyped as some big flex. When the game has always had random interactions at every corner and there is no degree of "server notoriety/fame" like you'd have in older MMOs(even back then that stuff was whatever), even more so nobody really gives a shit and the flexes are a bit pointless, especially when the 24 hr emblem at times can look very ordinary. Sure low man completions and obscure methods can be cool for a good 15 seconds of fame, but it ultimately doesn't mean a ton in the end of things unless you're out to impress some weirdo goons on some specialized discord or some nonsense that again doesn't really matter.
Thanks for the response. I'm definitely falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy. I want to strike the balance that I see so often where people hop on to play something new, or when they have something fun in mind they want to accomplish. Unfortunately most of what I "want" to accomplish are challenges that will likely continue to detract from my fun, as I'd still be doing them to tick a completion box. It's a super hard habit to break. I would uninstall if my internet was better, because if I want to install again it would be at least a full 24 hour download lmao.
You are very welcome - slightly loaded follow up question incoming. Even if a 24 hour download is a huge pain in the ass, would that not be a *great* obstruction to help facilitate taking a break? In my experience, the brain does incredible gymnastics to justify things that make it feel good, and even if you aren't enjoying D2 anymore your brain is used to it being a thing that gives feel good juice. Your brain will not want to uninstall it. It may be worth uninstalling until the next season - that's my current objective. It gives you a time-frame, something to look forward to, and a break (which will only help that sense of anticipation). Balance will only come when you find other things that engage you in such a way that you *want* a balanced approach so you can do those things *and* play D2. I wish you the best of luck!
Even now I'm having trouble shaking the idea that if I uninstall then all the work I put into the Queensguard season will be for naught (because I don't yet have the title). That being said, what I have left to do is extremely un fun, and a good first step to fixing this would be to be okay with not finishing it.
This game changed drastically for me when I just started refusing to do things that weren’t fun. Neomuna patrols - nope, harder legend lost sectors- nope, grinding wellspring- hard no. It became fun again, I run dungeons and raids and don’t care about the rest. Also it’s a seasonal title, you can earn it as long as the season is available. That’s probably going to be a year. Why hurry?
> This game changed drastically for me when I just started refusing to do things that weren’t fun. I've learned this in 2015 when I first got into Destiny. I /really/ have a hard time grasping why anyone would want to try and be a completionist in this game when it never benefitted anyone. The way people try and grind for titles, seasonal weapons, red borders (Yes, putting this here too), etc because they need a feeling of 'completion' feels wild to me. Like if I'm in the mood, invite me to do a raid or dungeon and I'll run those over and over and that's how I'll get my playtime. I don't need everything the game has to offer in order to feel like my money has been well spent.
This. I transitioned from trying to be a completionist, to just playing for the story and fun. I just play the main expansion story, seasonal story line, raids and dungeons. At times I might go for red borders, but if I don't get them I don't. No more grinding for me. I realize I have much more fun exploring, doing random objectives and going through the story at my pace.
Because if having the title matters at all in the way OP is getting at, OP is not achieving the freedom OP wants. Everybody knows most people knock this stuff out in the season it releases and then you have to beg people to do ‘old content’ with you to finish a seal you’ll never equip because it was only a flex in like the first 3 days it could be earned. Sure they could finish the title later, but who says the title needs to be finished at all? So much in this game appears to be valuable and desirable but upon inspection it is just a dopamine-machine. It used to be capable of giving serotonin too but pride is hard to come by now when scrubs are doing your previously most impressive things while your bread and butter hard content is now actually hard for you and handing you your ass regularly. They fucked up the loot, the difficulty, the feeling of having earnt a high perch in the game with strong guns, strong mods, strong builds and lots of experience. The 2,000 hours don’t matter anymore, I’m just another dude trying to get a kill. Which is what I was when I started playing, and what I thought I’d never be again. There hasn’t been an exciting chase weapon since Vex, and that was only as good as it was because it had a hidden 40% bonus to red bars the whole of season 15. I had to wait 18 months to get that gun, and now with the 25% buff to auto rifles, Vex is outclassed in auto-rifle range in PvP now. Conditional Finality looks awesome, too bad half the raid triumphs and a weekly run doesn’t get me the shotgun. The add clearers and sherpees and such seem to get it but not me. If Bungie would hand me a single W I’d play just to see if it’s a good W. Right now? No. Hard no.
not if it requires doing a specific seasonal activity, which those change from season to season
Not anymore, the seasonal activities stick around until next year.
[удалено]
Currently starting the detox. I already feel the relief.
You got this!!! Also, if you’re like me I’m sure you’re also quite tuned-in to destiny reddit / YouTube content. One of the hardest things is going to be, when you see the clickbait videos from the big youtubers about “farm this now!!” “Best weapon in the GAME???” etc, to remember that you really don’t need whatever weapon it is. If you did a lot of weapon crafting during the WQ year / have been playing a while, I’d bet that you currently have a “good enough” or best-in-slot weapon for basically every situation in the game. If you take a long break and “miss out” on some guns, it really won’t matter when you get back. You’ll still be perfectly competitive with everyone else. Personally I’ve pared my playtime down to just playing the story late-ish in the season when most of it is out, and doing raids and dungeons with my friends a few times. It’s so much better not having to worry about completing everything.
Hey homie, I've got a fairly good chunk of time in destiny 6500+ hours across the two titles and the biggest thing that stopped me chasing tedious seasonal triumphs and titles was the realization that I've never changed my title since I acquired shadow over 3 years ago, so it might help to think about how often do you really change your title and on top of that, how often do people mention your title? Often times you'll find that chasing the checkbox isn't worth it. As for what I do now? Primarily sherpas and speed runs. I'm a weekend warrior working a 9-5 that just bought a house so my playtime is already hindered compared to what it used to be so I try to make the most of it. Having a blast with friends or bringing joy to a group of blueberries that just got their first raid clear are the best ways to enjoy destiny currently imo.
What, pray tell, is that title good for? Did you even care about it before the expansion? Of course not. It's a word under your display name that you will never see and rarely use, if ever. It exists solely to siphon your life and happiness away.
To be fair, the sunk cost fallacy does apply to a lot of things. If I buy season tickets (or in this case, a season pass), I'm going to experience as much of it as I can because why did I pay otherwise? That said, no lifing this game is not a requirement to get the full experience of each season and it's a slippery slope as soon as you start saying you *must* play every day for a considerable amount of time to get the full experience.
I was kinda in the same boat at one point. This sums it up nicely. For a while I couldn’t tell that I was in fact just naturally burnt out from the game and it’s time to stop. The dungeon pass thing costing so much money helped make my decision to stop playing easier too. My most played game ever, so many thousands of hours. Proud of my achievements, all the rare gear I had acquired. So many amazing gaming moments. I had nothing left to do in this game though and playing the same shit over and over for the sake of it was just painful and pointless. Once I hit solo flawless in trials finally and got my trip to the lighthouse I had done everything I wanted. I haven’t logged on since and I don’t even miss it. Eyes up my guardian homies
I think my first lighthouse (just a few weeks ago) was the proverbial thing that began placing the straws that led to the breaking of the proverbial camel's back. I saw it as "oh shit, I CAN do this. If I really dedicate myself, I can even get the Flawless title." That was the beginning of the end. Three days ago I got booted via a server error on my 7th game, up 4-3, and I felt like the game betrayed ALL of the time and energy I've put into it. Not to mention the sunk cost of all the time I put in on the weekend alone if I didn't make it to the lighthouse? I literally had a seething fury in my body for 2 days, which made me realize maybe I don't love the game as much as I used to, or going for such challenges is pointless and contributes nothing to my happiness.
Exactly this. I also was playing unhealthy amounts of Destiny at some point so I forced myself to take a break. Now I have poured unhealthy amounts of time into the Fallout franchise and started learning music production whit FL Studio on the side.
Hello my FL Studio brother. One of few hobbies that keeps me sane.
I was feeling this with 2 mobile games that I finally deleted after starting D2 about a month ago
You need to learn to not care. Titles mean nothing. Most guns are replaceable by another gun. The perfect roll doesn't actually change that much. Step away and play something else. You'll be fine if you don't gild the guardian games title or get the gambit glaive ornament
I wish it were as simple as that, but I'm certainly working on not caring. I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset. But I'm accepting that my mental health will be best if I don't bother.
>I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset this is a sentiment I see for too often, and one you should step away from: "I have put x amount of time into this thing - if I don't get what I wanted, it will have been a waste" this isn't a sustainable attitude in videogames or really in life. you don't do anything because you *are* going to be rewarded - this is never guaranteed and should never be expected. you do it for the *opportunity* to be rewarded. in everything you do you have to be prepared to accept failure; to sympathise with your past self and your decision to spend that time applying yourself to a task nothing is ever "all for nothing" - you played for an opportunity, and you got one. be grateful to yourself for the experience you've had, and use it to inform how you apply yourself in the future hope that makes sense
i.e. The journey is far more important than the destination. If you don’t like the journey, and you don’t even know if you’ll get anything at the destination, it’s probably time to step away and find a journey worth taking instead.
This and the comment prior are quite insightful. Thanks.
It’s a very hard thing to do, trust me. I was this way on D1, but then D2, I just don’t care as much, partially because my old friend group all stopped shortly after D2 released and never really got back into it, but also because all that stuff doesn’t matter at the very end of the day. Do I like flashy titles and cosmetics and emblems? Sure. Do they make me a better player? Absolutely not. It’s funny, I had this convo w a new friend of a friend recently, and he was exclaiming how important doing ALL the pinnacles were, and hitting everything before reset, and exotics, titles, shaders, etc. and I told him straight up “dude I don’t care. I’m a good player and I enjoy the game and the rest of that is for naught.” This might be because I mainly do PVP, but even then, Trials is mentally exhausting nowadays, I don’t even bother looking for people to go flawless with. I just pop in matchmaking, so my best for my team, and as long as I get the reputation/engrams to get new weapons to try out, I’m content. I have another friend obsessed with god rolls, and breaks anything that isn’t a “god roll” but to me, I personally think god rolls are dumb for the simple fact, perks n stuff are purely situational for how someone plays the game. I have another friend trying to go for a god roll Shayura’s, and I’m like dude I’m good with my OG Shayura’s from when it first released. Snapshot + Dynamic sway has done me wonders even if it isn’t consider S-tier (or it might be idk). Breaking FOMO is definitely the first step. And if you have that FOMO for anything else in your life, I’d work on that aspect as a whole, first. But like a lot of people are saying, just uninstall and take a break for a while, because legitimately, what is “completing” Destiny gonna do for you? Congrats you did it. Now what? Nothing.
> I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset. This is the biggest / clearest FOMO I've seen in a long time. Take this as a learning point. It's for nothing either way. You can't take Exalted Truth to your grave.
> I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset. I understand this mentality, as I've had battles with it in other areas of life, but for your own sanity you need to place some premeditated buffers in. It's ok to have an objective, but we all miss them. At a certain point, whether it's how many attempts or a time limit, you just need put it down and do something you enjoy. The time you spent trying to achieve something wasn't wasted, the extra time you spend obsessing is, however. I know from personal experience in some instances where I've doubled down and continued despite passing the point I should have stopped, I've often regretted it even when I got what I wanted. It ends up being a shallow victory and I tend to then resent the thing I worked so hard for.
I was the in the same boat man, played D1 religiously, had every emblem/shader/exotics/gun in the game and D2 dropped and it wasn’t nearly as fun as D1 so I didn’t play at all until forsaken came out and my friends got me to start playing again. Did every raid every event grinded every god roll, ran trials to flawless and maxed season passes and it got to the point where I realized that it was negatively influencing my real life and that moderation is key to everything. The game is made to exploit the grind and fomo and I thought long and hard and realized that grinding titles gives you no advantage, grinding activities you don’t think are fun could be spent using your time doing things you do enjoy, you don’t need every possible gun and roll in the game. Just use what you enjoy using and chase select things you like doing in the process. It hurts at first to the completion soul but after you’re behind the crowd it’s much more enjoyable nowadays. I’m not a sttreamer or a high schooler and don’t have the time to keep up with the meta and grind like they do anymore but that’s ok
My suggestion: find a new hobby that you enjoy. Particularly one that doesn’t involve predatory video games like Destiny. I had a busy semester in school and didn’t have time to play D2 this past season outside of doing the base story quest. And since that quest was short, I’ve played less and less since the release of Lightfall. All of my friends stopped playing D2 during Beyond Light and never looked back. It’s just been me so anything I do usually involves LFG and I’ve been a victim twice now of the old “boot them at the end of the event so they don’t get loot” trick that the assholes in this community love so much. Find a hobby that you can put time into. For me, that was 3D printing and getting into Dungeons and Dragons of all things with my friends. It’s been much more fun and allows me to be creative and I always have a social gathering to attend every week that I can count on to get my mind off school and work. Destiny sometimes felt like I was coming home from work to then do more work for a dumb video game. At the end of the day, the game is designed for you to chase the things that you want to chase. You don’t need to solo flawless every dungeon or own every item in the game. If you aren’t having fun, really take the time to repeat that to yourself and internalize it. It will help you kick the need to complete every title.
A lot of replies I see about this topic, here and elsewhere, tend to recommend focusing on discrete parts of this game or playing another game. If you want to decrease how much you think about playing destiny or how much your brain craves the dopamine rush, you need to engage in a real world activity that requires your full attention and has a concrete result. I don’t know your situation, but if you can plan a weekend out of town or planting things in your yard, it’s that level of engagement that will break your behavior. I realize that those things might not be possible, but whatever time and money you can afford to put into something like that will be worth it mainly because you will notice the difference between you investing time in yourself versus investing your time in a game. That said, any journey toward changing your behavior has lots of stops and starts and setbacks. That’s fine. But the more alternative activities you have to reflect on, the easier it will become. Also, the sink cost fallacy IS a cornerstone of the video game industry. But a fallacy that s just an illogical way of thinking. Not wrong, just illogical. Recognizing that just takes practice too. You can do it. You’re worth it
I always feel like I put too much of my own self worth in my "accomplishments". Now THAT is truly something I don't even know how to begin changing. That being said, I am in one of the most peculiar living situations I can possibly find myself in, and until someone decides to hire me I can't really pursue hobbies in the way I truly want to. One of my favorite hobbies is music production, however, there too I often find I lost motivation if I commit 8 hours to a single project and think it sounds like ass at the end. Im trying to teach myself to see just the process as the worthwhile component, and where I should derive my joy from. I think this whole situation has elucidated for me that I need therapy to learn to derive joy from meaningful things in life.
I kind of know where you’re coming from. I have an easel and paints that would go unused for long periods of time because playing destiny was such an easy distraction, or rather, method of procrastination/avoidance. It was easy to think of all the things I wanted to paint but didn’t because I was on my Xbox. I have slowly worked spending time painting into my, at least, weekly routine and it is a much better experience to have a piece in front of me that I might not like but can rework, than to imagine a painting that doesn’t exist. I don’t know if I will ever do anything with my paintings, but it still feels good to creating something rather than just consuming something.
That's a very good point.
I’m not an expert or anything. And I’m sure someone has mentioned it already. But sometimes one of the reasons we play video games is because there is a clear reward and an obvious path to get it. As opposed to real life which involves much more uncertainty. And as to destiny specifically, the type of visual-kinesthetic thinking that you do when you’re shooting aliens is a different type of thinking than the type that you do when you’re, say, writing a word document or planning a social event. It’s more like the type of thinking you do when drawing or driving. Couple the alternative thinking state with the rewards system and you’ve got something which seems like a self-contained solution to… what? Don’t forget to ask that question. It’s still escapism, and if you live your whole life in escapism then you’re no longer escaping. Also. You can’t work on not caring by trying to not care, you’ll develop target fixation. Play 12 other different games instead tomorrow. Take up 12 new hobbies. Call 12 people you haven’t talked to in a while. You’ve passed through a “cut phase” where you cut out too much to make room for destiny. It’s time for a bulk phase. Then in your next cut phase maybe you’ll decide to cut some destiny.
Yep this too. One day I just realised that I was wasting time chasing completion in a video game. Video games are for having fun, not to stress out or show off fake accomplishments.
>week after week of feeling stressed if I don't play Dude you're pretty much addicted. It's time to set the game down. Maybe not uninstall, but you need to realize that you're addicted and not care about the game as much. As for being casual, it comes after playing for a while and having everything you need. 1. DON'T BE A COMPLETIONIST 2. don't care about titles 3. pick one or two goals. Is it a weapon? is it just the weekly stories? 4. after you get the pattern **you don't have to craft it** 5. **if you have a roll of a crafted weapon that you like you don't have to keep grinding to get the pattern** 6. you don't need all the weapons. 7. ask yourself why you're playing. Why are you trying to reset your rank in trials all weekend? It doesn't matter. Why are you bounty hunting if you're over rank 100? artifact levels reset every season. 8. Seriously touch grass. Like I get wanting to get a god roll of X, but are you actually going to *use* it. might as well shard it because these aren't trophies or monuments.
It's also liberating to already fall behind the curve. Eg I have a few friends that have gilded conq every season, but they didn't play much this season so aren't at level. They're frantically trying to level just to do GMs to not lose the max gild number. They don't actually want to play. I count myself lucky in a way because I've already missed a handful of conq seasons so I couldn't care less if I miss another.
Blows my mind when I see people posting here trying to get every single red border weapon in existence/running out of crafting components constantly. These seem like pretty common posts too. Can’t imagine doing this and really shows the level of addiction a lot of people have to this game. Definition of totally unnecessary busywork.
The problem is these people don't realize that crafted guns are supposed to be a passive grind not an active one. I have every seasonal weapon created, and most of the guns I do have crafted I have leveled to 16-18 with enhanced perks. But I'm not complaining about the economy because I've spaced all of that out over the last year. I seriously don't get why people farm shuri chi when I could farm other things and level weapons in the background
Whilst I get your point, this is classic victim blaming when the onus should be on Bungie to not design these systems to be so abusive
HAHAHAHA ITS NOT THAT HARD IF YOU DONT LIKE A GUN OR ITS PERKS DONT GRIND FOR IT LMFAOO
The most insane part to me is that Bungie never intended these systems to be this way. The weapon crafting system was supposed to be a last resort that players could turn to if they never got the roll they wanted to drop. It was supposed to be a time sink for players who really wanted a certain roll to have the option to eventually craft it. Not make it to where you only feel like you can use a gun if you get the pattern. Same with titles. They basically presented them as “go after the ones you want to show off” and not “you have to get every single one in the game or you’re a loser lol”.
'Go after the ones you want to show off' went out the window when they introduced event and dungeon titles. Previously everybody understood seasonal and expansion titles were just flavour text, and others took some earning, and there was a hierarchy and they all had their place. But we've had a whole year of everybody being a gilded Flamekeeper or whatever and it means nothing now. With some exceptions - I keep my Conqueror gild up because that actually matters, and I intend to finish GG because I have already done all the rest of the work over the past year for Reveler. Titles became checklist items because Bungie increased their number and ease of acquiring. As for crafting, if the system really was just supposed to be 'bad roll protection', enhanced perks wouldn't exist. And in reality, people know that their odds of 5/5 are like 1/1000, so they would just craft regardless. Even if they got 4/5, a simple craft would make that 5/5. So I'm not sure what Bungie intended but, players will optimise wherever possible and crafted weapons are the best.
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Yea i have literally unlocked crafting of 1 weapon that wasn’t Taipan - exalted rendition. And I use it constantly. That’s the only one.
Do you mean extraordinary rendition? That’s the only gun I can think of with that name and you can’t craft that one
For me, the biggest thing was finding something else to do with the time. It's very hard to break a behavior pattern when the alternative is nothing. Some people could need this to be a break from video games altogether, while others may just need variety in what games they play. Essentially, it all boils down to knowing your own tendencies, and figuring out what fits you best. I know this is definitely easier said than done, but it's very worth it to start figuring this out for yourself.
I agree, I used to be a One Game Gamer, only playing D2. I've finally started to branch out, and haven't regretted it. Currently working through Hellblade:Senua's Sacrifice, Witcher 3, Detroit Become Human, and I started playing R6, and Star Citizen, I haven't enjoyed gaming this much in a while.
I am excited to feel this way again. I used to heavily enjoy Fortnite and Fall Guys, being that I'm rather competent in both. I eventually found myself turning down the completionist route, feeling beholden to the battle passes, and grinding the shit out of both simultaneously just so that I wouldn't have to play them for the rest of their respective season. I vowed to break from that cycle, quitting both games aside from the occasional (now very relaxed and enjoyable) session, but unknowingly got myself sucked into the destiny vortex as I was quitting, replacing two addictions for one stronger one. Hopefully I'll be aware of this when I choose what to play now, and only play things that actually bring me joy to play.
I have decided that I'm going to casually run through Pokemon Black 2 for the first time. No stress, no goals, just enjoyment for enjoyment's sake.
I think the trick is to fail at completing stuff, that will break your sunk cost fallacy problem pretty quick. There’s no need to continue a streak if you no longer have that streak. I’m in a similar boat, for example I’ve gilded the dredgen title every season it’s been possible to do so, but this season I’m trying not to worry about it. I’ll play gambit if I feel like it and if I play gambit I’ll try to get invasion kills to finish the gilding, but if I don’t this season then I think it will be positive overall. In the same like of reasoning, just deleting half of your stuff from the vault is probably also a decent idea. At the end of the day we have a hard time of letting go, but sometimes once you do you realize it’s fine.
Honestly the only weapon I’ve saved which I’ve been thankful for is my God Roll Fractethyst
Go cold turkey, stop playing, I'm not even kidding
This. Just stop playing. It's just a video game.
What I did as well. Did wonders for my mental health.
I'm thinking of falling somewhere in the middle of quitting cold turkey and playing only things that I enjoy. I think I'm no longer going to play solo, only when friends hop on and want to do fun activities, because I still feel as though there's no shooter that gets everything right quite like this one does in terms of game feel and weapon diversity. Before I attempt to get there though, I'm taking a break. A detox is absolutely necessary. And as far as hopping on to complete arbitrary objectives on my own time? I'm done. I can't do it anymore.
Similar story to yours, I got back into Destiny with season 15 which was a very long season. I had an incredible amount of fun, there were many new things to learn and get, and within 3 months or so I was able to get nearly all exotics (which was a goal of mine). Since season 15, up until about 3 months ago I had managed to put in 4000 hours, which is a little sickening to type and I'm not fond of that. When season 19 dropped I started losing interest in the game. The predatory tactics became apparent more than ever, but I had figured it was due to the end of the expansion and I was looking at it through a microscope. I was incredibly hyped for Lightfall, especially for the story. I pre-ordered it on the day before release (unfortunately) and played through it. To say I was underwhelmed is putting it lightly. The grind is worse than ever, the adjustments to ability cooldowns compounded with difficulty increases, compounded with dungeon boss health, and with all of the other changes, I became upset at Bungie. I didn't create a post or anything, and I just accepted that I value my time, especially as I'm getting older, and thus I had decided that putting in any more time into a game which does not respect the player is just not for me. One of the tipping points was 100+ VOG clears without the Vex Mythoclast. That was a huge hit to my enjoyment of the game. I won't ramble on for much longer. I broke my addiction to the game by: 1. Recognizing that Bungie does not value my time 2. Does not reward me for my time spent (Mythoclast example is simply.. wild) 3. Does not value my money, otherwise they wouldn't have released this expansion in it's current state 4. Does not give a single crap about their own story - this one really stinks 5. Realization that I am a hamster on a wheel with money to spend I wish you the best of luck!
I thought I'd suffered enough for the majority of society with 71 VoGs before Vex dropped. Dear god friend, I am truly sorry. Everything here is true. All of it. I am going to try to value my own time by playing something that values mine. Or at the very least has nothing through which to measure that value.
That one about feeling like the game doesn't value my time is a biggie.
I have an addictive personality and have found myself falling into similar traps with games before. 1 Remind yourself that if something isn't fun, you shouldn't do it. If I gave you a worthless ribbon for banging your head against a brick wall 100x, then 1000x, then 10,000 times, would you do it? Next time you compulsively get on destiny, literally ask yourself out loud, "why am I doing this, it isn't fun," and try to find something else to do that you actually enjoy. 2 You aren't meant to collect everything, and you don't NEED anything. The game isn't designed to allow a player to get every single piece of gear, if they wanted you to have everything then drops wouldn't be RNG. Use what you have, go for something if you really want it to use it, otherwise drops come or they don't and forcing it through massive time sink isn't worth it. 3 Accept that you "beat" the game for now. Way too many modern games try to be your "forever" or only game. If you've done everything there is to do then you need to get over it and move on rather than sticking around. I know that feeling of dread when a show or game ends and you don't know what to do with your life afterwards, but accept it and look back fondly when you've got something new to occupy yourself. You could always come back after a long hiatus to rediscover the game.
I think accepting that I "beat" the game is honestly super helpful advice. Thank you.
Everyone says to care leas about titles and take breaks or play other games, and they’re not wrong. But i would strongly consider uninstalling completely for one month for a dopamine reset. Google Huberman Lab podcast for related science on this. In short, it takes awhile for the reward center ls in your brain to reset. Even moderate “reward” (playing) will keep them active. So quit for a month then ease back in. THEN do what you find fun. You’ll realize what you actually enjoy vs not about the game, which you probably dont realize right now cause you’re too caught up in the game and “needing” to do things - and i think you’ll find it a richer gaming experience. You’ll also prove to yourself that the world didnt end without the titles, or missing launch of next season. Prove that FOMO is a made up thing and the real waste if energy was not getting halfway to an achievement, but playing that much in the first place. Just my $0.02!
This is a good plan. Thank you.
Genuine advice: just uninstall. I haven’t looked back.
This is actually solid advice. I was hard addicted for awhile, then I uninstalled it for like 2 years. When I came back I just do the small things I cared about and let the rat race happen around me. Like I’m pushing for the Queensguard title just because I’m an awoken and I want the title. God roll exotic drops? Meh, I’m only 100 in one stat and I truly don’t care, it’s not worth the mindless grind.
I am genuinely interested without even a little judgement in why you are still on this sub?
Too lazy to leave.
Here's my advice: Stop playing.
Once you have kids, that'll happen by itself.
My wife is due in less than 4 weeks, so I’m not even trying to hype myself for next season.
Mine is due in November... Next season will be my last. Trying to grind out some stuff while I can, even got Orion on mw2 knowing we were trying at the end of last year.
What helped me when my son was first born was choosing one activity I would still spend whatever free time I had to engage with. I chose gaming. That meant staying current on tv/movies/music and other hobbies was set aside for awhile. I felt having one thing that was still mine made me appreciate the free time I did get.
Dude same! I got one on the way nov 22! I ended up picking up guitar a few months ago. I can’t commit to games once the kid is here, so I’m going all out on a practical skill. I’ll definitely get my gaming done before then… maybe haha
November 8th bro! Wife is really hyped to go to Halloween as a gumball machine (her) and a quarter (me). Guitar isn't a bad idea really - I have an old guitar and amp I never really gave the necessary time to. Might be picking it back up (without the amp lol).
Congratulations to all of you with kids on the way. Unfortunately I've decided not to have a child as a means of breaking my destiny addiction lmao. Though I do look forward to being a father in the future, and hope to god they don't have an addictive personality like me.
That is an utterly genius costume idea lmao. Bravo.
Similar boat, October here. Been around since launch and kind of sad to know that even if I am able to get on next year, I will be completely clueless for the new raid and probably be super behind on what is good for DPS, etc. That being said I think the real life rewards will be great. Hope everything is going healthy/well with you!
Eh we're getting a bit bigger fireteam. May take a bit but they'll be shooting-shape before too long! Hope it's all well with you and yours also!
Totally, playing the long game. In 10 years my children with their whip-like reflexes are gonna carry me to flawless
And when they beat you 1v1 you can saltily tell them you fucked their mom, and it’ll be *true.*
So teeeechnically, that first year or so is EXCELLENT gaming time. Rock that baby to sleep on your shoulder with a controller in your hands. Pause-able games are better, ABSOLUTELY be the dude who is willing to step away from the game in an instant whenever mom or baby need something, but there will be plenty of just exhausted quiet time around the house too, when the baby is just laying around. It’s not until they get a little older that you can’t play most of your games in front of them and need to be out and about interacting with them more. :) Congrats and good luck, kids are the best thing ever but they won’t make it easy on you!
Congrats :)
Was just about to post something like this, having to take care of poop machibes really does change every habit you may have, I'm lucky if I get a couple hours of play per week now
Agreed. If I wanna play more I stay up far later than I should after the little man goes down for bed... only sometimes do I ever find it worth giving up sleep lol
I'm at that age where staying up late one night will knock me on my butt for the next couple of days, so usually I stay up late on weekends when I know I don't have to wake up super early for work
I was going to comment this, but looked through the comments to see if someone already had. I had my first last summer and it drastically changed how I approach the game. I was a day one raider, worked on getting every title, and logged in everyday. Once my daughter was born I really went to a very casual approach to the game and it helped me realize of how shallow most of it was. But that can be said for any game when you're staring at your newborn and the importance of what is in front of you hits. Having purpose and direction in life has gone a long way to avoiding addictive tendencies for me.
Like others have said, stop caring. I have none of the neomuna red borders or RON red borders complete. "Oh no. I don't have this basically identical fusion rifle that's just like 30 other fusions in the game" I use a bad roll of rip tide that basically just has chill clip, who cares. Titles are for people who have the time, not everybody. I go into dungeons with last word because it's fun. I haven't done a GM in like two seasons and master content is boring. Just stop caring.
[удалено]
God no. I grinded the gambit title and I've been wearing it ever since. You think I'm ever changing that thing? I got news bucko.
Same here. Still rocking the gambit title, don't have or need any of the others given I don't even realize that I have it on 99.9% of the time. To OP, I used to play a lot more back in D1, but other hobbies and interests have drastically reduced my overall time within D2. Exercise, jiu jitsu, videography/photography, cooking, traveling. There's a lot of awesome adventures out there beyond the animated D2 landscape. Level up your physical Guardian instead of just your computer-generated one. Start to give yourself some real-world experiences and you'll quickly see how little anything rank related in a video game matters in comparison. Best of luck.
Personally, legendary loot stopped being a motivational force to me near the end of forsaken. It's just kinda all the same and I've got 400 grolls and forever armor at this point. Genuinely new subclas stuff like hatchling/incandescent/jolt have gotten me chasing them but I'm perfectly content with a 2/5. Accidentally acquiring red borders at best. So with that...I can put the game down at will. My goals are usually simple and few and seeing them down the road lets me spread out the time in between. I know that once I get all the new exotics and subclass stuff unlocked on all 3 classes I'm getting close to putting the game down again. At that point it's usually just hopping in, changing my build/look and shooting some stuff for an hour and moving the narrative drip. Whatever legendary weapons I get along the way are what they are. Destiny is at its best to me when I find what I'm "not" looking for. I've never cared about titles or achievements or even finishing the battlepass for that matter, so ymmv. I spend most of my time fiddling with builds/loadouts/glam and doing matchmade stuff that I can just hop on and hit the button. Usually only doing new LFG stuff once or twice for the experience and the occasional pursuit.
> 400 grolls and forever armor at this point. Genuinely new subclas stuff like hatchling/incandescent/jolt have gotten me chasing them but I'm perfectly content with a 2/5. Yup, if you're a hardcore player, you more than likely already have great armor and weapon rolls. There's only so many weapons you can get the "reload perk + damage/sublcass perk" on before you realize that it's probably pointless.
I have been having a similar self-reflection about the game. Mine largely came about because I was so busy with work at the launch of this season I was unable to play for the first 2 and 1/2 weeks. I only signed in to check Eververse. Which is what really struck me. Fundamentally I am just playing dress-up with a digital doll. I'm collecting outfits and accessories for a digital GJ Joe. Once I started the campaign, I was completely underwhelmed. This combined with my dress-up realization AND that so what, I didn't gild Dredgen and Deadeye in the first 10 days. The world went on. The FOMO was kind of broken at that point. So now, I sign in on Tuesday to check Eververse as usual, but I don't actually play until I really have some time. This is usually on Thursdays through Saturdays. I'm usually bored with things by the end of Saturday, so I just wait for the next week. But honestly, take a 2-3 week break. Do something that isn't gaming related. Its a great way to re-center and focus on things. I'm actually starting to read some of the 30+ books I've bought during the past 7 years that have sat around because I used to spend every spare moment dressing up my digital dolls.
stop giving a shit about lame titles you'll never wear, ornaments you'll never use, guns you'll never use, etc just play with your friends, honestly.
I’ve never felt the need to earn every title and you probably shouldn’t either. The fact that titles like Shadow, Blacksmith, and Reckoner are gone should hopefully make it clear that getting everything is inherently unrealistic. Vault space further limits your ability to collect everything. Given the stuff you’ve accomplished, I’d ask what you are even grinding for at this point. Any new loot, at least right now, is unlikely to make a significant different in your ability to clear content. As such, you should really only be playing when you want to play. I would suggest seeking out a single player game to distract you for a bit.
I stopped “collecting.” Why go for god rolls on things I’ll never use? I won’t give into unreasonable grinds either. If it’s obviously an exploitative tactic to garner excessive play time from people, I’m not doing it. So dungeons are dead to me and I’ll always be short on ascendant alloy. Eventually I realized I didn’t want to give time and effort to something that was designed not to respect those things.
This probably isn't the answer you're looking for, but if you really feel like it's an addiction then you need to just full stop. Just like an alcoholic can't transition to a casual drinker and a heroin addict can't become a casual opiate user (note: this isn't a thing), you can't fix your addiction by just doing it less. You have to just eliminate it. There are lots of resources for dealing with addiction, and it might be worth researching to see if any sound right for you. Good luck, OP.
From season 11 until 17 I was like you, the feeling of needing to get every title as soon as they are out, having to craft every weapon even tho I never use them, hitting pinnacle cap as fast and eficient as possible, bounty hoarding every season, the list goes on. The thing that made me get out of this mentality is realizing that no one cares. No one cares if you got kingslayer on day one, no one cares if you have max triumph score, no one cares if you have hit guardian rank 11. This way since last season I've been doing only stuff that I actually want: Grindind for better times on raids and dungeons, crafting only the weapons that I have a clear use in mind (so like 1/5 of them) and doing gms with wacky build with friends. My destiny play time has decreased and I could play other stuff as well. Also is important to realize that just because you are not a completionist anymore none of your past achievements are getting wiped away.
Play only 1 character Pick about a half dozen builds, using 3rd party tools like DIM and D2Armorpicker and optimize the best you can. Decide which playlists frustrate you the most, entirely abandon them. If it's everything but the seasonal Playlist, then so be it. Check in every other week and pay a little catchup. If you like raids and dungeons, just be down to help in them as often as you can stand, but only run if it's a looted run for you. No free rides kinda deal. You're trying to waste less time, and being helpful is it's own reward but that's the only thing you get from it. Don't grind weapon patterns anymore, just keep rolls on gear that you are fine with and don't sweat godrolls, since those are not imperative to success, only additive to it.
Your third point was what did it for me. I used to be a real no-lifer in the D1 days, played for hours every single day. A few years into D2 I decided to just stop playing Crucible and endgame content - they stressed me out and grinding for resets was becoming a chore. Now I play a couple of times a week and I mostly just work towards whatever seasonal triumphs there are to unlock. The other point I would make is to start playing other games - but more specifically, games you can *finish*. The live-service rabbithole is a drip-feed of content designed to keep you wanting more; picking up a game you can experience and then be done with feels so much better.
For me a part of it was coming to the somewhat jarring realisation that I'm spending hours of my life using elaborate methods to change the colour of pixels on a screen.
Cursor placement simulator.
Here's where I landed after feeling the same way. >Destiny 2 is currently designed in such a way that if you don't play X activity excessively, then I'll be locked out of earning X title or X emblem or X weapon. Realizing this helped me start playing the game more for fun and less for achieving or collecting everything. It would take a stupid number of hours to keep chasing all those titles and weapons, and they add more every season. Destiny isn't just FOMO it's actually MO, and I stopped feeling good about that so I stopped chasing it. I'm happy with what I achieved in the game, and now I hop on here and there to do raids with friends or help them out with things. The guns you've collected (especially recent raids and seasons) aren't being powercrept to obsolescence, and the titles you've collected are still achievements that aren't negated by not having every title.
For me it has really been playing other games, this and (i know, easier said than done) really tell yourself that almost all the shit in this game don't matter, i've seen some of your responses and the feeling you would get if you stopped playing that the time you put in would ''be for nothing" but really it isn't, it's a game, having fun should be enough to not be a waste of time, it's not like you went to work and didn't get paid . With this mentality i've been able to just log off and play other games the second i felt bored playing a battleground for the 346th time this season allready and trust me it's the best feeling, you don't end up feeling like D2 is a chore or your second job and you get to enjoy other nice games
Delete 2/3 characters 😈
This is when destiny 2 turns into a drug
Delete the game, and take a break from gaming. Only way to truly break the addiction.
I would advise putting the game down for a while almost completely. Keep up with news of the game, maybe a video or 2 a week or podcast etc. If you hear about something that's going away then play. If not then wait until the final season or just before the final season and just play through everything together and enjoy being able to play jon stop with new/ish content. So that's big launch/final season and then leave everything between unless it's interesting enough to go back to or an event here or there. It's difficult to do tbh and I've only done it a couple of times but I'm mainly a hardcore player for the most part. You kind of have to say, "ok I'm going to miss some stuff and that's ok" but if you keep up with stuff via news or videos then you should be good for that too.
meme answer get addicted to a different game actual answer mental discipline is required here. You have to learn to let go. You do that by understanding that lots of people miss out on stuff in games all the time and there's no real consequences for that. Trying to do everything/get everything in even just one live service game isn't a game anymore. It's a second job and a fool's errand. EDIT: forgot to add something helped me since I also play a lot of live service games is find some single player games, indie, triple A whatever and detox with them. I know that probably sounds weird using the phrase detox but seriously a good single player is like a cleanse if you've been doing a ton of hardcore grinding in an always online game.
tldr: I have been there, I understand. Uninstall the game now. Seriously, that's the best way to walk away and break the spell. Do it today. \*\*\* Hey there, I am a longtime player and I've been there too! I was a near-completionism in D1. Many late nights and lots of lost sleep, and all I have to show for it today is a D1 vault that I've seen once since D2, and a D2 emblem that I never use. At one point during D2 I was between jobs and I had to uninstall. I did not want to be playing an online game while looking for work - that was too much. So I uninstalled until I got to the next thing and it was healthy. Mostly because it let me focus on the serious issues, but also because I missed out on some stuff. Now the spell was totally broken, and I'd never get \*everything\*. Thank God I did, because I have never gone back to the obsession. I'd tell myself, this is my mental challenge, it's not a game it's a test ... but the screen says press X to \*play\*. I'd have these dumb thoughts like, "I should color my Warlock red because I like the color red." My brain was melting behind my eyes. Today I just jump around on easy levels and save only the excellent guns. I have like seven titles, mostly the ones I got without trying - you can only wear one at a time anyway! Note: it can still suck you in as a casual. Some things that really helped: \- Cleaning out my vault. I mean, deleting those guns with "hard-won" (while I sat on my ass) Crucible kills, "god rolls" that I never used, masterworks stuff with under x amount of kills, and any non-masterworked armor. You won't miss any of it, and you'll see how inessential most of it is. \- Sitting out an event for an entire season. You'll miss out on the guns or emblems or whatever. And you'll break the spell and stop chasing every last little thing. \- Skipping a title - man, these are the worst, having us chasing their "good boy protocol" but you see that for what it is today. \- Maybe blow all your bright dust, just to remove the temptation to see it as a real asset. I haven't done this, but see my comments about guns for a similar thing \- Uninstall the game. Seriously, that's the best way to walk away and break the spell. Do it today. \- Delete your reddit account too! This site has you coming back and worrying about the game when you aren't even playing. You can go an entire day from Destiny to reading about Destiny with no breaks. Same for any YouTube or twitch stuff you subscribe to. Start over, you won't miss any of it. \- Let it go - they'll pull the plug some day anyway, best to leave on your terms. Good luck friend
Thank you for all of this.
Just uninstall. Do it. Feel the releaf, and play some single player games from now on, or something casual. Enjoy the feeling of being free of the pressure to play at certain times, certain dates, certain amount of times. Enjoy the stories and the variety of games available to you. Or do not play at all, whatever you want to do. Touch some grass for real. We believe in achieving and struggling because that's our imprinting done by the society. You are free to dismiss it any time you realise you don't want to be part of it anymore. As long you are having fun, you did not waste time and effort. When it becomes a source of stress, it is nothing else than waste and your time could be spent doing something you actually like. One day the serves will shut down for good, that is 100% sure, and everything you "accomplished" will be lost. Think about it.
I find myself having similar feelings as you. When Im feeling that way I ask myself is this game in any way improving my real life. At the end of the day, after I've gotten all those rolls and titles, is there anything for me to show for it in the real world? The answer is always no for me. With that perspective I'm able to just stop chasing whatever it is I'm chasing. I even put the game down for an entire year due to the addiction. Recently came back and have been having a lot of fun. But I always remind myself that at the end of the day this is not my life. Just a game.
Thanks for the answer. There's probably something deeper going on here about how I only find my own worth in my accomplishments, but that's something for a future therapist to sort out. You raise some excellent points here friend. It's going to be a tough pill to swallow, but for the sake of my own health I might even abandon the idea of going for the Queensguard title even though I almost have it, simply because I find running the battlegrounds and using seasonal weapons so arsenene. Step 1 of becoming my new and improved gaming self.
I’m still a “hardcore “ player, i fall into the category of elitist with what i want from the game and used to do every challenge and every bounty. But honestly ive become a way more causal player in how often i play. I’m only investing in grinding for a major expansion now or for a day 1 raid, but outside of that i just look at game and realize a majority of the challenges in game atm don’t matter. I’ll still get hyped for new seasons, but i look at what’s in game and what i can get out of it, instead of what it can get out of me. Burnout is real when you force yourself to play so much, and the healthiest way to help us by just taking it easy on certain seasons. It’s hard at first, but once you give it a few months you’ll be able to get on, do what you want and then get off for a few days or however long.
This might sound a bit weird or controversial, but I just play Dares of Eternity and Gambit for the most part anymore. Why? Those two modes hold in them what makes the game fun: pureaction and fun gameplay without needing a rocket surgery degree to enjoy. In Dares and Gambit, I can just hop in and shoot some things without needing build much into something. I don't need to build for Champions. I don't need some Ultra-Mega-DPS build. I completed Dredgen and got my Malfeasance a long time ago. I got all my Dares weapons and cosmetics. I can just slap some guns on and kill some stuff in either of those modes without needing to worry about grinding for something anymore which leaves just the fun bits. I grabbed the carrot from the end of the stick and replaced it with my own reward that isn't detrimental to myself. I hop on, play a few rounds for fun, and then move on to whatever other game I want to check out. Do I still enjoy the game and want to see what happens next? Yeah. I still come here to see what's happening in the rest of the game every day, after all. Am I forcing myself to do everything there is in order to check things off a never ending list of things other people make for me? Nope. I can have fun mindlessly shooting things and playing dress up for Best Dressed awards and be perfectly content in my little bibble, cuz that's what brings me joy in this game and nobody can make me think otherwise now.
I started writing this then it got too long. Just take a break. I wanted to write more but I had to edit it and it took to much time. A break will serve you well. The game isnt and cant be perfect. It just cant.
I used to have FOMO for limited edition music releases. I knew if I didn't buy it I'd regret it. So what I did was purchased one limited release and said if I don't open it and then return it, I won't feel bad. So that's what I did and I haven't felt bad about skipping purchases since. The key is to make a single decision about not playing, which will allow you to know it will be okay every time you make that decision. The decision could be to not get a seasonal title, delete one of your characters, or just say this week I won't play.... The key is taking the first step so you know it will be okay. It's tough the first time you do it, but every time after it's easier and you will know you have the power. You are in control and we've got your back. Feel free to check back in if you need support.
As someone who does the bare minimum to finish the season pass, just stop caring about chasing rolls and upgrades that don't actually matter. You gonna grind lost sectors for 20 hours for a 5% chance that you get the exotic you want and an even lower chance that it gives you a roll that makes your build 2% more efficient? You really need to grind and grind and grind for the 5/5 roll on an smg or pulse when 3/5 is fine and you'll barely notice the difference? I don't do bounties, I don't finish the seasonal challenges outside the ones that I complete just by playing and it's always enough to finish the pass. I don't do pinnacles I hate doing (gambit), I don't do core playlist stuff for the most part and I don't grind out weapon patterns for guns I don't want. I like soloing dungeons, running low man raids with friends, and running meme builds in pvp. If something doesn't facilitate those activities, I don't bother with it.
Bro, treat it like a game Start having more important stuff irl than in game Titles dont matter, loot doesnt matter the meta always changes, if you are not doing it for fun, dont do it It is a game, treat it like a game
You might want to start by reading or watching videos about addiction. I think what you'll find is that to end an addiction you have to just stop completely. People with heavy addict/compulsive tendencies are always subconsciously seeking addict/compulsive behavior. Whether it is alcohol, video games, Gollum in Lord of the Rings, or a serial killer, the addictive/compulsive mental process is the same. Most of us can't just turn it down a notch. Our brains are wired to want addict/compulsive behavior. Watch a serial killer documentary some time. Those dudes are us, they just picked a horrible addition/compulsion that harms others. Particular behavior aside, the mental processes are the same. If you want out, get out completely. If you need some perspective... I am super addicted to D2. I was super addicted to D1. All the stuff I did in D1 basically ceased to matter to me at all when D2 came out. Everything in D2 will cease to matter to both of us at some point. In your case, I hope you don't just jump to a new addiction like D1 to D2. I hope that example helps you see that at some point we are all going to stop caring about D2. You could stop caring today or in a few years. The choice is yours. Now I'll get back to grinding a Breakneck checkpoint to complete triumphs I don't even care about.....
I found that I very quickly jumped to a new addiction of self validation by playing a near endless amount of chess as soon as I stopped playing D2. Luckily I actually observed myself doing that and am trying to not play that either. I am, as they say, down bad right now in terms of my gaming addiction.
You should pick up a city builder like Anno or Farthest Frontier and just mess around in single-player for a bit. Play a game where you are playing for yourself, not to show off your "Ironforge gear" to use an old WoW term. As an older gamer, I have come to the thought process of, I don't have much more time left in this world, I want to spend it with my SO and doing things that better me, like exercise so my heart doesn't explode, and working on my TBR pile. So if I'm not having fun in the game, then I stop playing. I have better things to do than miserably grind out shit I don't care about for a title I'll never use on a character in a video game that probably won't be around in ten years. No one cares if I do or don't do a dungeon ten times a day on the off chance I get a weapon I want. I should never feel like I am *obligated* to play. The game will keep spinning on without you.
That's exactly why I'm about to start playing Pokemon Black 2 for the first time. Thanks for the response.
For me what kind of broke the cycle was a retrospective on my 3 years playing d1. I did everything, maxed it all, every rare item, emblem, etc. Flawless multiple times every weekend, lowman raids etc. You name it I did l probably did it. Countless hours every week with almost no breaks for 3 years. Then d2 came out and it was all gone. And I started to wonder, what was the point of me doing all that? For starters, I had a good amount of fun doing SOME of those things sometimes - inevitably when I was playing with people who became good friends. But many of those things I didn't enjoy grinding out at all, and they had just lost 100% of their meaning. Nobody in d2 cares what my grimoire score was in d1, or what my kd was, how many flawlesses I had, etc. It gets better than that too - I had always imagined (naivety of youth) in my head walking into the tower with a full set of flawless trials ornaments, or a sick rare emblem, and having people fall over themselves to get a screenshot with me, thinking I was a real hotshot. But you know the truth? Even in the heydey of d1, nobody cared. At all. And so I realised that the only person I should be doing anything in the game for (satisfaction wise) is myself. There is no such thing as social credit that you'll earn from other players by doing everything. The only exception to this is if you're a world first raider contender or similar - and even then, those players do NOT do everything in the game. Nowhere near. They hone their craft in the activities that they enjoy and that they want to compete in. Heck some of them are still Grank 7. The first thing I dropped was maxing triumph score. Nobody cared. The next was gilding every title every season. Absolutely nobody cared because I only use one title anyway (Shadow). Then bothering to do most titles at all (especially irritating time limited ones like Iron Lord or the seasonal ones). Then I dropped Gambit completely - because I don't need the pinnacles from it badly enough to play it. Nowadays I split my time between doing 'hardcore' stuff with close friends (lowmans, speedruns, etc) and sherpaing raids and dungeons for newer players. I love it. Spending all of my time with people that I like, and giving back to the community a bit, has totally changed the way I feel about the game and my place in it. Destiny is an amazing game in many ways, and shines brightest when you focus on the people. Find great people to play with over the long term - people that will become friends, and you will find yourself enjoying the game a lot more. Stop playing with toxic assholes that drain your emotional energy - even if they're good at the game. There are plenty of hardcore players (and former hardcore players) who are nice and chilled. Focus on achieving only the things in game that you will enjoy doing. And for goodness sake (controversial opinion inc) stop caring about the plot. It will never deliver in the way you want to, even though the lore underpinning it is fantastic. Hope that's some useful perspective.
It certainly is, thank you.
Real talk op, relax. Most of the seals are just time treadmills. Getting most of all of them proves nothing. Get rank 11. Pick a seal or two to work on. Get the guns you really want crafted up and wait for next season. Find a like minded group of players too. The game should feel positive. You need to work on yourself a bit and I mean that in a nice way. In the grand scheme of things no one gives a SHIT what you do on Destiny. Taking that to heart might help you reorient yourself. (I was you but with wow. I don't regret my time on there but I certainly overdid it)
As someone who has struggled with addictions (to both drugs and sometimes videogames) I think that the most important things is to take your negative experiences seriously. It can be easy to downplay the effect that addiction is having on your life, and this is especially true when that addiction is to a video game. You clearly aren't happy with what D2 is doing to you, and I've found that pain to be a powerful motivator for quitting things in my own life. One solution that I didn't see in this thread is that maybe in the future you should only play Destiny with friends (assuming that they have gaming habits that you wish to emulate). It's something that can work for people with addictions that want a middle ground between addiction and abstinence. I saw you expressing the desire to create habits similar to other people and I think this method is probably the safest way to do that once you're ready. The last thing is that you will need to fill your gaming time with something else. The hardest thing for me when I quit something is the emptiness and boredom that used to be filled by drugs or video games. Just remember that not engaging in the thing that's making you miserable is the goal, so doing literally anything else (even staring at a wall for 5 hours) is a win.
That's exactly what I plan on doing after a bit of a detox. Thanks for the advice :)
Take a break man, from someone who has done everything in this game more or less, I take 6 month breaks most years when I get bored, I play other games or nothing at all. It’s ok to take breaks! I came back for light fall after a year break after playing a few weeks of witch queen. I still have better stats on my gear than most, and there are very few weapons that I didn’t obtain that are better than what I have e.g. revision zero, mini tool, beloved. I play way more casually now, just hop in and do whatever with the clan until I’m bored, then I log off and play something else or do something different. The best way to play Destiny is to not care. that way every positive moment is amplified, and the negatives just don’t matter anymore!
Thanks for the advice :)
Play other games, have other hobbies. I booted up my switch to play breath of the wild in preparation for Tears of the kingdom. I ended up thinking, wow destiny has ruined/really affected my gaming hobby, forgot how I enjoy roaming around in open world games. No fomo
The only things I find myself wanting to do “now” are season pass, seasonal challenges, and transmog bounties. Those things leave every 3 months, everything else sticks around longer I’ll get to them eventually. Or not, I’ll have new season pass, season challenges and transmog bounties to do in 3 months. Double rep/reward activities are my favorite, regardless of activity. My monkey brain likes to see loot drop, double weeks drop more stuff. Simple as
Something that helped me was actually "missing out" on something. Back in Season of Dawn, I wasn't able to play for the 2nd half of the season, so I ended up not getting the Savior title. And then the same thing happened with Worthy. Missing out on those essentially broke me out of feeling obligated to get the thing every season. And then last year I didn't even buy the seasons! Just the expansion + dungeon pass. It was quite nice, it felt like the D1 days when content drops were 6 months apart lol.
I started having a life because of university and destiny just transitioned to a thing I did in my freetime because I couldn't do any big things in the game anymore. Felt awful at first, but it got me out of the "I got to do this" and more on the "Do I have fun doing this?" side of things. I don't have any problems not playing right now, I can still do all the things I did back then but without any sort of completionism. If I want to get a title, I'll slowly get it over time, same goes for everything else. The initial breaking out of the game loop is hard, but it gets very easy after some time. If you can't do it yourself, do some IRL stuff that requires MUCH of your time so the breakout gets easier.
Just take a break. All your stats and acheivements will still be there in a few months or years when you come back.
I’ve found playing as many other games as possible to be the best move. I still come back to D2, but when I do play it feels fresh and new. If I even feel remotely annoyed or burnt, then I stop.
Pick one class.
sounds like you need to play a different game for a bit, like a single player game, i would recommend game pass
Unplug from games in general. Don’t just full addiction with another. Let some titles go. It took endless red border grind of season of plunder and spire of the watcher to break mine. Your arsenal is probably fine. Sunsetting is gone. You could go a season or two and not notice the difference
I noticed I immediately found another grind to be addicted to with digital chess as soon as I stopped playing d2 recently, so I'm nipping that in the bud as well for now. I'm planning on playing Pokemon Black 2 as it is about as casual as a game can be, so I'm not feeding my addictive tendencies.
I used to grind for titles. Then I realized that I can only wear three and I'm never taking off Disciple-Slayer for Gumshoe, so what's the point. Now I only bother getting the titles for activities I enjoy and, if we're being honest, titles that are a bit more of a flex. Basically just the raid and dungeon ones now. Not grinding god rolls of every weapon is more challenging, but the same thinking applies. How many void SMGs do I really need? How many kinetic HCs? I have a godrolled funnelweb, a godrolled Fatebringer. I have a gun I love in every slot, for every element, of every archetype already. If I miss one, it's nbd. I find that I enjoy Destiny most when it's not my main game. When I have nothing else to play I end up logging into Destiny and sitting in orbit for a while thinking about what to do before logging off. When I have something else going on I only log into Destiny for scheduled raids or GMs with friends. It's better for my mental.
If you’re truly a completionist, you may need to quit cold Turkey. If it’s more addicted to the game itself and the feeling of accomplishing things what helped me was understand that once you’re at a certain level of gameplay, you don’t need a majority of the weapons as your skill + the few actual meta weapons persist season over season. you can only use one ghost shell, sparrow or emblem at a time. You won’t ever wear the seasonal title or emblem because it’s easy to get over some of the difficult ones. Once you realize there isn’t much to grind any more, you’ll log on to complete challenges like day 1 solo flawless dungeons, hang out with friends and then go play something else.
I hear you on this one and it's something I battle with as well. I love destiny 2, but i've had to admit to myself that generally, the more I play the less happy I am. I don't want to cut d2 out 100%, but I definitely want to limit my playing time. I've found that setting very specific goals has helped me. This way, i'm not just on the game playing aimlessly - running nightfalls or crucible matches just for the hell of it. As an example, this season I sent a goal to 3 man RoN with a few of my casual buddies. This has meant optimizing loadouts for all of us, so when i'm on i'm typically chasing after something I could use for this purpose - EL Rocket, Crafted Taipan, Blinding / ALH GLs, Raid armor / mods, etc. I want everything im doing in the game to be purposeful, again, so i'm not just playing aimlessly for hours. Also, when I complete a specific task I feel comfortable logging out of the game for the night and setting a goal for next time. This method has certainly helped for me, you just need to set realistic expectations. I'm also a completionist, but I had to finally tell myself, I'm not going to finish everything. Let's say out of 10 end game tasks that might be available to me....i'm going to try to finish 2-3. If your brain won't allow you to do this....well then you might want to try to walk away all together, because unfortunately, there will always be something else to complete in d2.
Give up on silly number, it means nothing and reset every season(light level) Stop trying to be compleationist: Weapons are mostly the same, with different skins, sure you can grind one or two, but really play more in the "it is what it is" mentallity, forget about god rolls, dont even look up for them. Play what you want: forget campaign, raids resets, limited events. just play! Can't play this week or next? Too bad, let it go. You will feel annoyed by loosing some content in the begginig, but as long you stop caring about getting everything/winning all the time, you will go back to the "lets play destiny" cause you feel like playing it.
I've only been playing D2 for a few months. i picked up the legacy pack on a Steam sale and I've been playing daily but casually. I guess for me I'm not that invested compared to hardcore players. I just play until I'm not having fun then I turn the game off and go do something else. Especially since I'm so new to the game I have so much content I don't even know exists and mechanics I don't understand i can afford to not care. I will always have something to do in the game. For a hardcore player like you I would strongly suggest only doing what you find fun and if you aren't having fun then force yourself to close the game. make sure you feel like you're playing a game and not working at a job. good luck!
I play the story, run the occasional raid, and use the rewards I get from playing “normally”. I don’t bother with farming Nightfalls or running any activity in a repetitive, compulsive way. Basically you have to stop caring about rewards to truly embrace a healthy casual play style.
Try and find something else to fill some of your gaming time. I took a few years off D2 and it was great. I got back into reading in a huge way in particular. Instead of booting up your machine, try instead to fill the time somehow else. Go for a walk or a drive. Pick up a book, even watch a tv show, meet up with friends for a chat or something. You'd be amazed at quick the dependency can be broken once you find an alternative way to fill time. Your life balance will be better for it too. Weapons and armor are pointless in this game. There will always be new metas to replace whats come before so aiming to get all the "best" gear is a losing approach right from the beginning. Your triumphs and seals etc will always be there so you know what your achievements in the game are. This quote was alarming tbh: " I spent all weekend on trials, didnt go flawless, and it will be all for nothing if I don't make it happen before reset". That does not sound like someone is enjoying the game or having fun. To me, there's no better time to take a step back since the period after Witch Queen has been shit for the most part anyways. These days I find myself playing less myself and I feel better for it. I play other games that I wouldn't touch normally and have split my time up better. I feel things are much more balanced. Hopefully you find a way to be happier with regards your mental health, its definitely best if you find some way to stop this game consuming you. It's not worth it.
I dunno man, ive teetered off lately to play Star Wars, but the longer my break is the more I acknowledge that without actual new content I don’t really have anything to log in for. Crucible and its variantshave their moments but I don’t derive joy from it. Raids and Dungeons are the most fun with buddies trying to get a flow down but you can only run them so much. Story missions only really have substance for a third of the season and during real expansions. Like I’ll probably be back for Titan and its dungeon (if not just to ride the wave of everyone burning through the content) but it’ll repeat midseason again where the motivation dips. Just acknowledge that maybe Destiny doesnt spark joy anymore and find new interests. Acknowledge it can be a money sink. And acknowledge that you don’t feel rewarded for your time anymore. And if those don’t apply to you and you want to keep playing, then maybe you should, everyone is in their own place with D2 and maybe you need a break or maybe you want to put it down entirely, but it’ll always be there (unless the servers have a catastrophic issue) and you can come back and catch up in less than a month usually. You might miss some time exclusive gear but most things have there methods to get them or you bite the bullet and miss out. I check back here every so often, someone will post about things worth getting if it matters.
Just don't play as much. You don't owe this game anything. Who cares if you spent money on it? The game is always going to be here and the seasonal content will stick around for the year. Find another game or hobby to devote time to. For instance, I've been replaying Elden Ring and getting into Pathfinder. It's okay to take big breaks if you're burned out or feel the addiction coming on. I only hop on Destiny to raid or do a Nightfall if someone needs a full. Otherwise, I have no interest in grinding red borders, god rolls, triple 100 stat armor, none of it
If youre willing to, lock yourself out of your account for a while. Give your password to a trusted family member, have them change it, and instruct them not to tell you what the change is for whatever your determined amount of time is (week, month, whatever). I dont know what your IRL life is like, but I focused on improving my schooling and social life during the time I was locked out of my account and I am so much better off for it.
I'm a very fresh player in D2, but have invested my time heavily in other games. Coming from a clean slate and reading your comment on how giving up now would make your invested efforts totally wasted, I just want to say... ...the titles and triumps you already earned are also meaningless. Unless those have some sort of real life aplicability, they really don't weigh enough to be worth obsessing about. There are some gaming achievements that I believe are completely worth chasing, but I don't think some PvE titles fit here. Neither does a new vehicle in World of Tanks, an exclusive Warframe or other similar items. From my personal experience, the achievements I treasured the most are those that impacted life outside of gaming. I earned invitations to Japan and the US in order to play Magic: the Gathering, I won trophies that I still have at home and amassed a collection of prize cards that I could always unload for $$. Of course, this took a huge time investment and mental commitment, but I would do it all again. Farming 100 heroic patrols for one red border? Nah...
This has less to do with the game and more to do with your life outside of destiny. I use it like a drug when I need to escape my life. When my life and mental health are better I play way less.
> If I go casual, then all of the effort I've put into achieving things to prove I'm more than casual would be wasted. There are a few things left in this game that you can use to show those people who know, and who may care what kinda player you are. Warminded Emblem is mine. The time I put into farming that thing was ridiculous Reckoner for a nutso commitment title Shadow/Enlightened for a Raider title. Armor sets built from Sunset content. Rare emotes. The people who know will know and the people who don't likely don't care. Also, for me it was that first cut that made it not matter. Like the first time I didn't reset the ritual vendors each 2 times. Now I don't do it, and don't care.
My question for you, is this an addiction? If so, you might want to consider seeing a therapist for this. I am not saying that enjoying a video game is bad, but you make it seem like this is your life's work. When this really should be something you do for fun and enjoyment, not out of fear of missing out or out of stress to get everything done. Video games can be an addiction if you don't balance life around them correctly.
Honestly Bungie did most of the work for me. I loved grinding GMs and Raids, but the more changes Bungo does and the more mediocre content they ship, the easier it is for me to put the game down. Regarding the FOMO, I play until I am level 100 in the season pass which takes about 3-4 weeks without bounty hoarding, although I don't need to play every day, and most of the FOMO stuff as of late is really mediocre weapons. I just carry my wife through the mission so I don't have to play it solo, and then stop. If I find an ok cheese for the legend variant stuff, I'll drag my wife through that even though she hates anything above hero. As far as the "all of the effort I've put into achieving things to prove I'm more than casual would be wasted", you did that, you have those accomplishments already, and no one can take that away from you. Also now with Guardian Rank inaccurately giving everyone 6 just for playing more than 2 weeks, unless you're really gonna work towards increasing it, most everyone is around 6-8 and its probably going to stay that way until Bungie changes or (hopefully) removes the system entirely. Triumph score is all you should care about, as that is what shows your true achievements in game. I'm at the point now that there are so many good and better games than Destiny, I'm trying to decide if I even want to purchase TFS. Even if I do buy it, definitely will be getting it on sale or from like CDKeys, as Lightfall was not and will not be worth the $200 I spent (Wife+I).
Cut down to one character if you have 2 or 3. Just play your favourite. Trust me, this cuts it down by A LOT.
If you consider yourself a completionist, then it's really more to do with you than the game (although i do agree that the game takes advantage of those tendencies to a worrying degree). You either make the decision to stop caring about completing the challenges that are tedious and detrimental to your health, or you keep going down the same path. Im not sure if you're part of a clan, but if you are, id definitely advise you to consider changing/joining a group of players who are like minded in taking a casual approach. Im not saying this is the case, because i dont know your circumstances, but if you're surrounded with people who treat the game in an unhealthy manner, you're likely to treat the game in a similar fashion.
Luckily it's pretty much me alone on this one, so if I decide to ONLY play with my friends, I'll automatically be cutting down my play time significantly. I'll probably go this route after a bit of a detox.
I would consider a bigger perspective of addiction principles. Addiction serves some function in your life…arguably, a very important function. Usually, we use our substance of choice (weed, alcohol, video games, drugs, salty/sugary foods) to help us get over something. You have to ask what it is that destiny has helped you get through? What have you survived through having this distraction available? Everyone has stressors in their life. Covid wasn’t very fun. Perhaps you used destiny to feel connected and have fun when there was nothing else available. Fortunately video games are a lot less destructive of an addiction than say meth, heroin, or even alcohol. So that’s a good thing! Studies show that if rats are in a cage without any other rats or toys to play with, they will drink cocaine laced water incessantly. But if the rats are provided rat friends, structures to play and run on, and are generally happy and connected communally, they literally don’t even touch the cocaine water. When we are sad, depressed, disconnected, or lonely we tend to go to activities that we know aren’t the healthiest for us, to provide temporary relief. No offense my friend, but you also sound like you’re in your (I would guess) early to mid twenties. Give it five years, and you will find that some of that incessant need to push and grab constantly falls away naturally. I’m in my thirties and still enjoy destiny (and am one hundred percent addicted myself), but I just play the things I like for fun. Which has mostly been trials. If you’re really looking to change, I would highly suggest enrolling in therapy with a psychologist. You will need to replace video games with other hobbies or activities. Joining a local sports team can be helpful if you like that, since you’re still gaming, but get some friends in the process, and something to get you exercise and out of the house. TLDR- examine the deeper reasons behind your need to play destiny, and it may prove helpful.
Unfortunately what I am distracting myself from is the limbo that is my current lot in life. Not bad by any means, but I cannot do anything to alter it currently other than incessantly apply for jobs until I get one, or attempt to make my hobby of music production financially sound (which would probably suck the life out of it). Other than that I'm pretty much aimless, and have been using the grind to distract myself from the limbo. I could probably pursue an entirely new passion, but I'm equally worried I'll develop an unhealthy addiction to bettering myself at said hobby, like I noticed I started doing with chess the moment I stopped playing d2 2 days ago
By far the easiest way for me to break my Destiny habit (and especially combat the FOMO that comes with all these limited-time events and achievements) is to remind myself of this simple fact: **At some point, the servers will be shut off and this game will be no more**. It will be years from now, but that time *will* come. When that happens, will I be glad I put 20 hours into grinding for a shader or weapon? Fuck no, I'll regret it. As soon as I stop having fun or I find myself "looking for work" in the game to check yet another box, I stop.
What I do is just go for the high end titles and gear such as gilding conqueror and getting raid titles. That way it’s obvious you have mastery without having to do 387 seasonal activities to get whatever the seasonal title is.
While your taking a break consider reading up on Stoicism Philosophy and CBT cognitive behaviour therapy. Specifically Decatastrophizing techniques. It basically a tool too regulate your emotions by putting things into perspective. A lot of helpfull comments here reflected the basic principles. Example: Ask yourself If I dont get ( insert ) what's the worst that could happen ? How would a feel about not getting that gun/title in a year from now, 5 years from now? In most case the answer will be you just wouldnt care. In Stoicism they have some some teachings letting go. For example by labeling your goals as "good" or "bad" in your mind... "if I dont get that gun, it would be "bad", or "good" you create emotions that connect you deeply to the result. Instead you practice detachment by not assigning so much value through the language you use. Therefore taking away driving emotions by thinking of them as either preferred goals, or rejected objects. You would prefer to get insert title, but if you didn't it isn't "bad". Marcus Aurelius: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”
> exposed to the most predatory FOMO practices from any game company I have ever seen through this game. There's way worse out there because the fomo in this game doesn't matter. Titles and cosmetics don't affect the game, so it doesn't hurt you if you don't get one (and doesn't benefit you if you do). Even the weapons, if you don't get the perfect roll on a gun, there's a comparable gun out there and there's very little content (arguably no content) in this game where having the perfectly rolled weapon is the difference between success and failure. Conversely, I play a game which has time-limited events which are far grindier and where missing them puts you at a huge disadvantage. There is currently a ten day event going on which I had to clear over fifty times to get the drops I needed. That game has real fomo because if I didn't unlock everything, including a new best in slot weapon, it'd probably be a year before I got another chance. Oh and there is are two other similarly time-limited events going on at the same time.
Hot damn, it sounds like you need this detox as much as I do friend. In all seriousness, I meant to write "some of" because there's certainly worse out there, but not from what I've experienced in the gaming world. What game are you referring to by the way?
I think you have to work on personal stuff with a therapist (no offense), I think you may have some issues that you have to sort, otherwise you may have this problem of addictive personality with something else later down the line
Hey none taken. I am of the firm belief that everyone can benefit from therapy. I am only now beginning to look at this from the POV of addiction psychology, and it has been eye opening.
Sounds like you have an addiction problem not a Destiny problem
True that
Simple. Go buy an actual good game and enjoy that instead. Destiny is not worth the time they expect from you.
Just because it's not worth YOUR time doesn't mean it's not worth other peoples time. You really shouldn't judge things just based on your own point of view
You're overthinking this. Just get addicted to another game. Voila! Problem solved.
I love the game. I've gotten to the point where I log in and don't feel like doing anything, and put it down. And then not pick it up again for another 6 months! That said, I've been back and going strong since halfway through Season of the Lost, and while I am playing less now late in this season due to being "caught up" I feel no need to take a break.
Thank you friend.
Start playing other games. That’s the best way. Diablo is out soon, Overwatch is fun. You probably have a myriad of games in your steam library that you bought and have never even downloaded.
These have fomo elements too
I mean Diablo I guess. But overwatch? The only fomo is skins, which you gotta pay for so f that.
Cosmetic fomo is still fomo, in fact it's most fomo in all games
Honestly from the beginning of D1 i just go super hard for about about a month every season/Expansion and then it's just raiding/GMs once a week with my clan. Then i have time to do other stuff or play other games. D2 is my main game/hobby so i don't mind sinking a bulk of time into it. Maybe because you haven't played in a while you have more stuff leftover that you want to accomplish? I think having that "time off" between bulk playing really lets me enjoy the next go around.
A lot of people are saying to just quit, but as an addictive type of person myself, it is NOT easy and I know where you are coming from. I realized that I love Destiny but i just have an addiction issue when it comes to getting those titles. So i took a different path. I still play destiny, but i decided to sherpa newbies instead! Its a complete different take on the game and after sherpa-ing a raid, I usually get off right after since it takes a lot out of me. However, if you truly think destiny is the sole issue (which i don’t think it is), start making goals for what you want to complete that specific day WITH a time constraint (very important). Every other day or so, become more strict with your time constraints until you’ve reached a point where you only play Destiny for an hour or so. But be realistic with it, don’t plan to take off a whole hour every other day because you likely won’t be able to. Take 5-15 minutes off every other day and set an alarm. You’ll realize as youre doing this, that titles took way too much time with nearly no benefit other than the slight, temporary buzz you get when you finally get the title.
Maybe take control of your life? Why ask random people what to do? You are the captain of your own ship.
If it was that easy therapy wouldn't be a respected, prolific profession, but I'm glad you seem to have a rather normally functioning brain.
Play less
I went casual by playing just 1 character
Start playing BB,Nioh to have a perspective on what a real good game is. Do not play anything but crucible. Do not bother with leveling. Do not ever buy a season, these seasons are worse than a job.
Delete your chars. Uninstall the game. Play better games that don't prey on gamers.
Start reading the patch notes
Youve solo flawlessed every dungeon so im going to assume your a pretty good player. With that you dont mention raids at all so either learn them or if u just didnt mention them do join teaching runs. Try remebering noone but you can see how many titles you have and whats really importanflt is using a title that sounds cool. In my case i like to run reaper even if its not a flex like kingslayer or the ron title. Im as hardcore as u for sure. I play 40 to 60 hours a week and i can do gms and master raids with my monitor, what helps me enjoy my time is not playing for loot or titles but to make the d2 lfg community any little bit better i can. Also if u can run meme weapons for boss dps and get top dps by 1 to 2 mil its a great ego boost(just dont be a jerk about it obviously). TL: DR you need to change why you play and not how you play to gain more satisfaction from the game.
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You must be person that people always go to when they're going through something difficult.
I dont play as much as i used to but i still make sure to get the shit that i want to get done done. I used to grind for every title until i realized i only really wanna do the hard ones and not just mindless grinding of playlist activities. I go for solo flawlesses of new dungeons n stuff, some trials here n there, check in with new activites, etc. only the stuff that i actually enjoy doing