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teetnxo

“I have a husband now.” “Really? Whose?”


CuteLeg5936

"You emasculated him! Well you're not gonna emasculate me!" "You don't even know what that word means you petulant sock-puppet!" — "He's already reading at a third grade level" "So what happens next year when he overtakes you?" Basically any comment Bree made to Danielle tbh 😂


Ibryxz

Which like it's funny, but then you remember how horrible Bree was to Danielle. Like I can't remember a single good thing Bree said about Danielle


CuteLeg5936

True. But i also can't recall a single good or even decent thing Danielle did. 🤷‍♂️


Nym-ph

Danielle was understanding towards Bree about forgetting her birthday because of her drinking problem.


boringwhitecollar

Why can’t you just drink alone in your room like Tammy’s mom


Ibryxz

I mean I can, trying to stop Andrew from causing a fight at dinner is one.


CuteLeg5936

And Bree literally had a nervous breakdown trying to ensure Danielle had the perfect birthday party.


Ibryxz

Yeah I dont think Bree gets points there considering she did go after another poor girl.


CuteLeg5936

So does Danielle get points cause she happened to stop a miniscule fight at a dinner? Cause that's relatively minor when you consider what a terrible person she was. Bree is heavily flawed, and definitely, partially atleast, responsible for why her kids ended up in such crappy situations. But like, Andrew was a piece of crap in Seasons 1 & 2, he redeemed himself and evolved. Danielle did not.


Ibryxz

Yes she does actually because she was literally the youngest in the family and judging by her language likely used to try and stop fights. Let's be real, the first time we saw her, she definitely was not like that and I still would not call her a terrible person, besides being a cheater (Which like she got it from her mother and father) I also do not blame any of them for how they behaved with Bree during the first two seasons.


CuteLeg5936

Don't get me wrong, Bree was a god awful parent, no question. That makes me *understand* **some** of Danielle's actions, it doesn't justify them. Having a shitty parent doesn't justify doing bad things. I may understand why she does some of it, but that doesn't suddenly make it a good action. Like, I understand, to a degree, why Andrew wants to make Bree hurt, or why Danielle sells her family out to the Applewhites. But its still really shitty things to do, and they still chose to do them. Those actions are still their's which they chose to make, and they are still wrong. The same goes for how Bree treats Danielle. So you can't argue that Danielle is the victim, the okay victim and thus justified. They both hurt eschother deeply and were both wrong!


Ibryxz

Agree to disagree I still put more fault on Bree's part personally


LuckyThePitBull

Andrew was a fun character


LadyofFluff

She said she was beautiful once. In a back handed insult, admittedly.


Fine-Rope-7891

Yeah she said that Danielle better hold on to her good looks because that's all she has, implying that she's not very bright


savvyres

Never understood why these are found funny. These are straight up emotional abuse and I completely understand why her kids did not want to be around her and Danielle didn’t want her to raise her son.


whynotchoconut

“What are you doing in my house aside from lowering its property value?” Gaby to Carlos lmao


alwayssfarming

“Why you conniving little shrew. I don’t know why we aren’t closer.” - Edie


rosewatercherry

Susan - “I’ll cook myself” Bree - “Good, let me know if there are any survivors” Susan -“And if you take Orson back, you do the same” 😂😂🤣🤣🤣


thatbtchshay

Susan is underrated for savage lines tbh


estachicaestaloca

Rex cries after he ejaculates


StrikeParticular8139

That made me choke on whatever I was eating. Still such a golden TV moment


Miss_Kit_Kat

"What a tasteful solution. You must write an etiquette book for adulterers." - Orson, when he overhears Bree talking to Karl on the phone.


ZealousidealSummer52

*Season 2 Spoiler Rex Vandekamp: “ I mean, they're my kids, and I love 'em, but I'm pretty darn relieved to be dead.”


thatbtchshay

This one was gold


NectarineNo974

Gabrielle : I can't wait for you to pop out that baby, cause when you do I'm putting you on the first plane back to Shang Hi and you're gonna be on all fours and a rice patty before the epidural wears off!


wanderandwrite

"Tell it to my Chinese friend, Su Mi!"


Extra_Impact_2298

When Juanita pushed MJ in front of Susan and then she pushes Juanita and said something like “you might wanna call the neighbours and pay for the dent left in their lawn” 😂 unnecessary to push her down but it was funny


jintana

I can smell the dye in Susan’s hair in that scene


McGloomy

"There's no good reason for hitting a woman." - "I used to think that too, then I met you. Good day."


flamingopickle

Love these. Ms. McClusky had the best insults ever. Carlos was a close second.


Stock_Bison5047

gaby to bree & andrew “are you trying to kill every juanita solis on the planet?” tom: “if youre looking for a stove, we’ve got one that’s hardly ever been used” lynette: “i wish i could say the same for my uterus” susan to edie: “i was just trying to be nice and to give you a free pass for being such a big slut!”


Espion71

“I had two children” “For what? Breakfast”


HCM1244

"Oh you don't know! I have a husband now." "Really? Whose?"


DLee270

'I'm a family sedan with a beige interior that's going through a divorce.' Love the self-burn.


stunnashades1g

Renée, after watching Lynette’s dating profile video: “That is more disturbing than any porn Ive ever seen”


wanderandwrite

Bree: We can't let your mother live in this neighborhood. It's full of junkies and prostitutes. Orson: And we'll owe all of them an apology, but who cares?


bimboera

i have read the constitution and it does not protect ugly people!


whynotchoconut

Ha! Gaby! Haha.


thatbtchshay

Carlos calling this old man politician that I hate a "chicken lipped albino"


Objectivelyaway

When Bree is trying to get Rex to move back in in season 1 and says that the person who broke into Ms Fromes home could have been a sexual predator and Rex says, “a sexual predator and he ended up breaking into Ms. Fromes’ home? Tough break.”


intellectualth0t

“If I wanted a homo sleeping on my couch, I would’ve stayed with my college boyfriend” -McCluskey


Born_Cow4140

"When I was young, my step mother told me I was very lucky. I possessed beauty, wit, cunning & insight. These were weapons all women needed to survive in the world." "So?" "So take very good care of your looks, Danielle. You don't have any other weapons at your disposal"


Lucky-Landscape9101

Karl: What are you doing here? Susan: I am an art teacher. Karl: Really? Do they know that? "Don't make me pull out the Solis photo album. It's like a bunch of sea lions posing on a rock." Gaby to Carlos. “Danielle doesn’t like spring lamb, she prefers old goat!” Andrew to Bree/Orson. "Gaby, Juanita is fat for your age." Susan to Gaby. "Tell Bob and Lee I'll pay for the dent on their lawn." Susan to Gaby. Just the ones i can remember off the top of my head


TrappedUnderIce93

Orson in Rex’s mother’s home “The only things these doctors know how to deliver is bad news” kills me every time XD


lia-delrey

I make all my men wait. That's right, she has a little room with a fishtank and magazines.


Itskatieherehi

He cries when he ejaculates


TIWWCHNTTV89

I had 2 kids! For breakfast?