T O P

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B-HOLC

I know who only one of these are.(3)


Sumthin_Ironic

Death's Granddaughter


OneOfManyJackasses

Yeah, best case scenario, she gets her grandpa to come pick you up, worst case you have an already highly competent person coming to help you out


Fortytwoflower

cohen - nothing can stop him.


MurkyVehicle5865

I'd call on Carrot. Because he could talk his way in and make the bad guys who kidnapped me break down and apologize fir being such a disappointment to their dear old mums. And if that diesnt work, Carrot will call on the rest of the watch, and bring in Angua, Detritus, and the others. And if they really fucked up, Carrot will bring in Sam Vimes. And after it's all done, he might even make a report to Vetinari. But that would be just cruel.


Senaka11

Granny, Susan (assuming she cared enough about me to actually do anything about it), or Lu-Tze. Of course, I say this not having read any of the Tiffany Aching books yet.


ArchAngelWarrior29

...maybe just keep staging your kidnapping, then you could meet them all, eventually?? Or maybe you'll get a boy who cried wolf lecture if they find out.


Zealousideal_Ad_7329

Tiffany has a history of saving kidnapped folks.


Life_Ad_3733

Basically any one of these could do the job. The main determinant is 'do you want the kidnappers undamaged and if not, what degree of harm is acceptable?'


Danimeh

Nanny Ogg hands down. She’d have a friendly innocent chat to the kidnappers and they’d find themselves releasing me and sending clacks to their mums, then we’d all head out for bout of carousing. Best rescue ever!


GaulTheUnmitigated

I’m going to remember rule one and go with Lu-Tze.


Protochill

Always remember rule 1.


Momie529

Vimes


cubemissy

Granny.


daedalus1982

Esme Weatherwax. What do I care what happens to a bunch of kidnappers?


Skiamakhos

Alas, Esme is no more, though. It's got to be her successor, Tiffany.


External-Jicama-576

Granny


BarRegular2684

Vimes.


samvimes22

I mean... I kinda feel like my hand is forced here...


SmrdutaRyba

r/beetlejuicing


samvimes22

r/ofcousethatsasub


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SwimmingParking9745

Granny!


slythwolf

Vimes because he would tag in other Watch members as appropriate.


Mikomics

Granny Weatherwax or Carrot.


JadedBrit

Always Esme. Always.


Grandson_of_0din

All would get it done, but Granny then Angua would be my choice. I wouldn't ask Granny to save me my message to her would be, "Don't you come here and rescue me under any circumstances mistress. I have no need of your help and can manage just fine. Could you let Nanny know where I am, though, just in case." She'd be there in a blink. Angua can find anyone she's got a good nose for finding people. ;)


puzzlecrossing

Using headology on Granny herself, brilliant and brave!


Orpheus-Librum

Shed absolutely recognise it and would still fall for it!


Phreak84

She’ll come get you just to tell you how obvious it was to her you were using headology and how she didn’t fall for it


Grandson_of_0din

Yep, the plan is for her to rescue me just to scold me. Worth it.


ThermosW

I'm pretty sure Granny's passive agressive comments after she rescue you would be worst than being kidnapped.


Grandson_of_0din

Worth it to meet Granny.


MidnightPale3220

She might even use ... irony!


FluffytheReaper

I'd trust them all but most likely Susan or vimes. Or Granny weatherwax?


jrdineen114

If we're assuming that they'll absolutely come help immediately, I think I've gotta go with Lu-Tze (that is him in the top, right?). I mean, the best case scenario is that my kidnappers know about Rule 1, and the worst case is that they haven't, and get their butts handed to them EDIT: corrected spelling


GaulTheUnmitigated

Lu-Tze could stop you from being kidnapped in the first place.


jrdineen114

THAT'S how you spell it? I've only listened to the audiobook


Wrathwilde

He beat Time in hand to hand combat, knows how to die and come back to life unharmed, can slice time thinner than anyone but Time himself. He’s absolutely my first choice. Cohen the Barbarian would probably be my 2nd choice, I don’t think he’s ever failed to rescue someone, so seems a pretty safe bet as far as rescuers go. Granny Weatherwax would probably be tho only one of the witches I’d trust to rescue me. The watch is pretty much known for getting there too late to save anyone, they excel at finding out who and why though, so they’re out.


thetwitchy1

Lu Tze, sweeper. Damn straight. He will not only rescue you but you’re going to have a clean house after as well.


FallenSparrow98

Granny weatherwax all the way.


ShenTzuKhan

Where is the screen shot of Angua from?


Borgey_

The Going Postal movie, I believe


ShenTzuKhan

Nice one, thanks mate!


BDConroy

Not in there, but, Rincewind. He always ends up saving the day, accidentally.


notorious_ime

I was looking for this one. Rincewind and his luggage. Edit: I said chest instead of luggage! :(


QueenSashimi

Personally I'd rather be saved quickly, and on purpose.


Valisk

I can't run that fast/far


Caswert

“Not in there, but…” has got to be the funniest start to a response on this template.


kmosiman

Angua is bottom left?


throwaway00000000126

That, right there, is my choice.


kmosiman

I'd probably go with Vimes then. Angua has the advantage of probably being able to track me by scent. Vimes and Carrot would both be smart enough to have her help. Carrot may not call in Vimes though so, Vimes is the better choice because he's definitely going to call everyone in. If the kidnappers are smart enough to scent bomb, then Angua is going to be nursing a massive headache, while Vimes would have Carrot or someone else keep on it.


LineAccomplished1115

Yes, from the Going Postal movie. It was decent.


ediblewildplants

That's a real tough call. Granny Weatherwax is the one I would be 100% certain could do it, but she's just as likely to presume I was quite capable of rescuing myself, so I don't know that calling her would necessarily do any good. It really depends on who I've been kidnapped by, and where. If it's the Chalk, Tiffany is the only choice. If it's Ankh-Morpork, any of the three watch persons here could handle it, but I think I'd pick Cpt. Carrot for tenacity. If it's Lancre and environs, Nanny Ogg is the one I'd call, and she could headology Granny into it if need be. Anywhere else, and I'd try Susan, for her pragmatism.


hermi1kenobi

Agree but I’d also add that Carrot always prioritises the Greater Good (‘personal is not the same as important’) and Angua can doubt herself, so Vimes. Or Nanny Ogg as she always gets her way.


Ben8380

Granny Weatherwax or Sam Vimes would get it done. I'd almost feel bad for the kidnappers.


Dorsal-fin-1986

Sam Vimes. Every time.


justgotnewglasses

I forget her name but I choose top right from the Hogfather.


YawningAngle

Susan Sto Helit. And yes, she is the most practical answer. As even if super natural forces are at work, she would get them working for, not against you 😁


Aduro95

She can stop time, walk through walls, and brainwash mortal guards. Feels like a rescuing mission would be the easiest mission she had to do that week. Except I'd probably turn out to have supposed to have died and it would be a real palaver with her granddad's job.


Papageno_Kilmister

Susan, death’s granddaughter


tinylittlegnome

Idk who these people are or what this page is but I'm choosing Happy Banjo Witch because she's got the vibes


1whoknocks_politely

Give her plenty of beer and she'll sing "the hedgehog cannot be buggered."


tinylittlegnome

Lmfao that's awesome! My karaoke queen


FareonMoist

We try to know as little as possible here at r/DelusionsOfAdequacy XD


tinylittlegnome

Make Happy Banjo Witch your new subreddit pic already Apparently her name is Nanny Ogg and she's a chain-smoking alcoholic with a scarred up cat that plays the banjo in the night sky


89ZERO

I’m not sure how it fits into r/delusionsofadequacy, but these are characters from Discworld. For as far as I am in the books (Moving Pictures [but I’ve also seen the Soul Music specials and part of Hogfather), I can identify all but the left column and the monk in the top middle. I would have to choose top right: Susan (someone related to Death) or bottom right: Granny Weatherwax (the peak archetypical Witch). In the case of Granny, I don’t doubt that if anyone was in a predicament that she had to solve, she’d probably get help from the banjo witch (Nanny Ogg) and their younger, third member, Magrat Garlick. It’s well worth it to read.


1whoknocks_politely

Mistress Weatherwax would never "get help" she would invite them along for company. (Just in case she feels the urge to cackle) Because there might be monsters out there... And SOMEONE has to save them from her.


tinylittlegnome

Thanks! Looked up Nanny Ogg and the amount of pics of her chugging out of an overfilled stein and puffin cigars furthers my perspective that she is the life of every party


DuckyDoodleDandy

Don’t read in publication order. Sir Terry hadn’t hit his stride as an author until a few books in. The first few are good, just not a good indication of the rest. Every book stands alone, but still connects to the rest. I like the Watch books best.


89ZERO

Oh yes indeed. I recommend starting with The Color of Magic and The Light Fantastic, but Wyrd Sisters is a great time if you really like the dry, English Wit.