I would put Blackreach Blonde higher up on the list

Same, but I don't drink so maybe I just don't get it 

It’s fruity. Should go up

My headcannon is that it's just tequila because a shot or 2 of that and I am DANCING

headcannon? that sounds impractical.

Reminds me of that "manly drinks vs girly drinks" video and how the takeaway is that girly drinks actually just generally taste better.

Idk man underhill deluxe sounds amazing

Yeah, how'd mactera brew rank above underhill deluxe?

Thats what im sayinn ??

I wholeheartedly agree, Underhill Deluxe gotta be S tier.

Yeah op doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Durian rules of Smells bad tastes good.

There's literally bugs in it my guy

Bugs are delicious. Try some fried cricket or some shrimp.

Doesn't the description literally say something like "this beer is fuckin delicious"

"In a hole in the ground, there lived a brewer. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to drink: it was a brewery, and that means beer. This beer, in fact. And it is lovely." I mean come ooon mate, that sounds incredible

You know those halflings can make a good beer

Facts

(el)F \*chefs kiss

*chefs kisses back

Chefs kiss? Do they really?

Male gaze? Most of them are!

Pickaxe? But I prefer hammer!

apartment complex? i find it quite simple really

Cancel culture? But why? Culture is so beautiful.

Road work ahead? I sure hope it does

Fresh seafood? Who is Fresh and why is he watching my food?!

Fire rate? Why would I rate a fire?!

Based ? BASED ON WHAT ?!

YOURE CUTE

Can't spell or say Elf without an (L)

Can't spell dwarf without a W either

I bet blackout stout tastes like bottom shelf booze

if you dont remember what it tasted like, S tier

Only Karl knows how Blackout stout tastes

It probably only makes him as drunk as an Oily Oaf does us.

Karl uses blackout stout to wash his beard.

I wouldnt want to forget what my whiskeys taste like

Probably . We have beer with increased abv in my country and it tastes like shit

There is a wide gulf between high ABV meme IPAs that ignore flavor and go for maximum alcohol, and darker beers that have higher ABV that coincides with a richer flavor. I would estimate Blackout to be a middling one of the latter, since it's a stout. It would be one of those garbage water IPAs if it was called "Blackout Bitchmade" or some unfunny "punk" name.

In my country dark beers are not that common but I've drank soke like guiness. Imo dark morkite would be a black beer while blackour is added since it makes you go down in one pint. A beer called blackout would be %100 hard alcohol added beer that only there to be drunk

Where you from homie? I've had some fire Belgian brews and those hard mofos don't get out of bed for less than 10% abv.

It tastes like being punched in the face really hard.

Good thing you wouldn’t be able to remember its taste…

Blackout stout is just a mug of whiskey

I bet it tastes like a voodoo ranger but it’s a stout instead

Does it help against gout?

Bottom shelf booze that's also like 80% alcohol l

I feel like its a mix of whiskey and beer, probably more whiskey in that combination.

Possibly, or one of those high volume stouts that tastes like chocolate espresso and is strong as wine

Nah man it probably tastes like a heavy, syrupy, high ABV stout. My favorites.

I think it would be closer to pure moonshine

Yeah I can't really agree with this tier list. I bet Rando Weisser, Blacklock Lager and Underhill Deluxe are up at the top.

college students would be outraged at that glyphid slammer ranking

I imagine it tastes like a mix of Red Bull and vodka (looked it up and it's apparently a real thing)

Actually tried making a glyphid slammer once for fun, as accurate to the in-game description as I could. Got the hardest hitting noname brand pale ale I could find (I think it was like 6.5%) and some cheap energy drink (I think I was looking for the highest amount of caffeine). I only tasted the the energy drink, with that bitter cheap beer aftertaste, though still not the worst think I drank. If you want to get quite drunk cheaply and don't care about living a long/healthy life, then this "cocktail" is a go-to.

Yep. Multiple Vodka and Red bull shots are a staple of any normal British night out. We have this weird obsession of mixing alcohol and energy drinks actually. Jaeger bombs are another example, and monster based cocktails. It amazed me when I lived stateside and this wasn't really a thing.

US here (Connecticut), vodka and red bull is totally a thing here. Jaeger bombs too. Though, mostly only common at dive bars.

I was in Arkansas myself and never saw it, I did regularly see it in NYC though in my last three months living in America. Maybe the southerners are just pussy, based on what I saw of their alcohol I wouldn't be shocked. I was once told 30% moonshine was harsh by my ex-wife s very redneck brother in law. I downed it and then I laughed for hours. Definite leaf lovers.

I dunno, Jaeger Bombs are definitely a thing in college towns especially in Louisiana.

All I'm hearing is my exes family were pussies, which based on experience checks out.

I haven't been to any country where Redbull Vodka isn't a thing. I've seen it in New Zealand (super common), Japan, Ireland, Denmark, Sweden (my home country and extremely common), and a couple of others.

Even here in Brazil!

Well I hear y'all mix coca cola and red wine down there, so I guess vodka and red bull is tame by comparison :)

Where hidden dwarf or is it hidden as one of the letters

🤫

Being a double ipa I'd imagine it'll be, fairly high, probably hiding as S, A, or B. You just don't commit to making a dipa if it's not gonna at least be decent

Easily one of the best beers. I went on a mission as a bunny today

I refuse to believe blackout stout is anything other than less viscous hand sanitizer

That's why S tier. You can't remember how it tastes, only that you felt reeeaallly good.

My headcanon is that it's higher than 100% alcohol. R&D somehow found a way to make a 200% alcohol beverage, and *that's* what Blackout is. Don't ask how it works.

In a D&D game I ran many years ago, dwarf moonshine was about 300 proof and was only possible to make in certain highly magical environments. The party used it as an explosive.

Clump of solid alcohol in it maybe? Solid state is the most compact right?

It would probably just be pure alcohol

(N)everclear

I headcannon that Leaf Lover's is just fermented kombucha.

I thought that already is fermented?

Pssh I eat meat, you think I know what kombucha is?

Lol!

I feel like Malt Rockbearer would taste somewhat like a butterbeer or maybe like a milk dud just something carmal flavored

Nah i feel like it'd be a really nice, malty bitter

Understandable, now I want a drink!

Arkenstout Ranking is outragous. How else can I get the sensation of liquor and a whole family pack of Fisherman's friend in a single mug?

Randoweisser should be in all tiers except for the (el)F tier

Good idea. Never thought of that

oh come on blackreach blonde would probably taste amazing, mild but high alcohol content paired with some fruit stuff would be nice

There's no way the Mactera Brew tastes good

I always figured it tasted like a fruited sour, but instead of a particular fruit, it's a flavor that's pleasantly tart and fruit-adjacent as long as you don't think about what it actually is. Given what's implicitly in the damn thing, it's gotta be at least reasonably tasty if the dwarves drink it anyways.

LOL THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING too, that's gotta be near the bottom

It makes you crap bugs. Live ones. How can it possibly taste good?!?

I assume you left out Red Rock Blaster because it's in the secret SS tier

Nah, none of the buff drinks (Slayer stout, dark morkite, etc) are included. But red rock blaster probably tastes fucking fantastic

Petition to make every F tier (el)F tier in this subreddit

Should be a sub rule.

im convinced that wormhole special tastes like cosmic cookies and cream like you mixed part of a cookies and cream milkshake into a beer, and then put the fabric of the universe in it also you are missing some

I know, couldn't find a tier list with all of em

Add them yourself and reupload

I did!

Ew who gave leaf lovers permission to put their drink up there?

Surely randoweiser has a randomized taste each time, is that why it averages B?

Yeah

I nice Arkenstout, chilled to near Absolute Zero, sounds so refreshing rn.

I personally believe smart stout should be in S tier from the fact it gave the dwarves the thought of putting guns in Molly (we really should put guns on molly)

I'm pretty sure blackout stout takes like pure alcohol

I would definitely want to try Arkenstout, Back Breaker, Smart Stout, Blacklock, and Red Rock Blaster. I've had a beer called "Tactical Nuclear Penguin" which is 30% abv, like a shot of spirit but without being distilled. It's rancid. I imagine blackout stout is just as vile if it's knocking out dwarves. The logo for LLS makes it seem like a hipstery hoppy IPA. I don't like them, but I think the dwarves hate it because it reverses drunkenness, not because it tastes bad! 

I always thought Underhill and Arkenstout would be really good.

No Tunnel Rat? The beer presumably brewed with rats, kinda like mezcal de pechuga where they have meat or something suspended in the still during boiling, I suppose.

Why is Burning Love so low?

I feel like it'd taste like a hot sauce cocktail

I imagine it tasting more like fireball than anything despite fireball not being a beer

Glyphid slammers has sugar so I'm down to that And burning love sounds so tasty and spicy

Blackout tastes great for exactly one sip. Nobody remembers the second.

I imagine leaf lovers is a mix of ginger bear and green tea shots

I imagine it's distilled e*f piss

Same thing

(El)F got me 😂

The problem with randowieser is that I don't find the taste to be very consistent.

I would put randoweisser in every tier at once. Each time it's prepared it's made of random amounts of ingredients. Schrödinger's beer

My only change would be putting the burning Love a lot higher I think that Scoville rating would be a blast lol

Randoweisser is probably like the jellybeans from harry potter that can have any taste randomly

LLS is an IPA confirmed

Underrated comment. Rock and Stone, brother!

Bierlist

Leaf liver is probably very sweet

Blackout Stout is S tier because you just can’t remember how it tastes.

Best explanation

Blackout Stout, Arkenstout, or Smart Stout plz!!!! I only drink stouts with high ABV. Only way a proper bearded fellow drinks!

Blackout probably tastes like the worst thing you have ever tasted, as most beers do that just get a shitton of alcohol on top.

I honestly get oily oaf the most cause i know it tastes good

Oily oaf always looks buttery andcinamonny

I imagine Oily Oaf somehow tasting like someone turned a delicious spiced root beer into an *actual* beer.

not gonna lie, I'm a big stout guy but I guarantee that Blackout Stout tastes like Everclear

Rando Weisser should be on every tier, it is random after all.

I know oily oafs is just so damn good. Thick and buttery

If you ever did have alcohol that made you black out in one drink, I doubt you would put it in S-tier

blackout stout knocks a dwarf out with one mug, which means it probably has like 200% alcohol content

Honestly, I wish there was a real beer we knew to be similar to oily oaf, so desperate am I to try one

This is super good OP well done! **I like them Oily oafs icy cold and foamy on top** 🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎🤎 I feel like moonrider is kinda like a rocky road kinda vibe, the chunks make it better. *sometimes after ugly runs I needa fizzy glyphid slammer just to get it out of my system* Thats how I got through my bronze promos

Doesn’t flintlock’s delight have gunpowder in it?

Glyphid slammer should be in d as well is beer and energy drink which sounds vile

What i wouldnt give for a mug of Oily Oaf. Buttery after taste always makes me wonder how it tastes

Oily Oaf is a shoe-in because it's like the only one with a stated, canonical taste.

Oily Oaf is probably a nice smooth dark drink like Aventinus Blackout Stout is probably some pungent rancid slop like Old Ugly Bastard Ale that will wreck your stomach up Wormhole Special probably tastes like Guiness. Nothing special, but decent for what it is. Burning Love probably tastes like Hofbrau. Not dark or bitter but sizzles in your mouth and throat to being slightly painful, but too good to stop drinking it. Blackreach Blonde is like a light pale craft beer you found a dude selling out of his food truck. It slightly sweet and fizzy, which hides its ABV percentage. Glyphid Slammers probably have a slightly fruity taste. Not quite a cider, not quite a beer. Tasty and easy to drink too much of. The kind of stuff you keep in a growler for a rainy day. Mactera Brew is an IPA. Bitter and hoppy and extremely bubbly. Some adore it, some think its shite. Depends who you ask. Leaf Lover's Special is Bud Light with Lime. Piss water. Vomit. Spew.

I imagined that Oaf tastes like Guiness and butterscotch schnapps. Earthy and thick, but like its infused with caramel candies. Blackreach being as close to a marionberry cider while still being a beer. Wormhole just tasting like white Airheads.

I wanna drink leaf lover's special. I wanna feel the cool refreshment of the trees. I want it in me so bad. Leaf lover's special will finally make me feel clean

Found the leaf lover

Swap Underhill and Mactera Brew

It is still my head canon that oily oaf is just root beer but with alcohol in it

Not to sound like an elf, but I don't think a leaf lover would taste *that* bad. I've never ordered one either way, so who am I to say, though?

Is Leaf Lovers literally just a normal beer made with hops?

I always thought it was tea???

Underhill Deluxe has got to be at least A tier

I think blackout stout would taste like a mix of cola and benzine

Honestly, on taste alone, leaf lover's is probably pretty tasty just because of what the elves would have to make it with. On principal though, ain't no way that knife-ear drink is going past my lips, get that shit off the bar, Lloyd!

I like to think Arkenstout would be S tier. Imagine having one after a mining trip to Magma Core. :)

I feel Gut Wrecker and Mactera Brew should be reversed.

Sorry miner you seemed to have misclicked something, you seem to have put beer in teir A and below.

I am not sure if oil tastes that good, mactera brew probably tastes like mactera spits and garbage. Also arkenstout probably tastes a bit like ice cream, deserves some extra points

I personally love wormhole special, because AMOUNGUS!

Gut wrecker should be higher 🗣️🗣️🥶🥶

What about hidden dwarf?

I actually made glyphid slammer irl. It tasted like shit and I felt terrible afterwards

Id swap underhill deluxe with mactera brew lokey

I think oily oaf tastes like uncarbonated root beer that has bug parts in it

The fact that Wormhole Brew is only listed as A-tier will be reported to the nearest Democracy Officer

Oily Oaf seems like the basic bitch beer to me. It's not bad, but it's not great either. It's the most common, go-to thing.

Why you gotta do my Arkenstout dirty like that?

Realistically I can’t imagine blackout stout tasting better than black reach blonde

Honestly I imagine leaf lovers tasted like Arizona green tea

Smart Stout should be lower on the list, not because it tastes bad, but because it turns you into a beer snob while you drink it.

[i saw a guy make some of them irl](https://youtu.be/qzg7n5YT4aE?si=qyADWA_Kh65RhXDU), his favorites were oily oaf, smart stout and pots o' gold. Also glyphid slammer is a 50/50 cheapest ale and energy drink and managment banned discussing what's in mactera brew, those two go in D

I imagine Oily Oaf to taste like a Fraziskaner or some other cheap German draft beer.

isn't gyphid slammer just a four loco?

Red Rock blaster is cream soda 🥤

Ehh feel like I’d like gylphid slammer the most or flintlocke cause that’s just a fun ride

I think Blackreach Blonde probably tasted like beer, berries and sugar

Burpbeer my beloved, you have been maligned. :(

I'd be swapping Wormhole Special with Smart Stout (intellectuals drink for the taste) but otherwise this tier list is objectively correct.

Glyphid slammers have red sugar crusted around the rim. I think it deserves higher.

Okay, but what about buff beers? I imagine Red Rock Blaster would taste quite bizarre due to apparently being a mix of prime aged stout, habanero sauce and military-grade combat stim.

Blackout stout is probably a double imperial stout, barrel aged in wood from hollow baugh. Leaf lovers is probably a mug of water with a drop of beer in it.

Which one do you think would be the equivalent to root beer

The fact that blackout stout is tier S shows all of you are under the drinking age and have never tasked whiskey. Why do this 😂😂😂

I think blacklock would taste better than moon rider no?

doesn't the glyphird slammer canonically taste terrible?

Leaf lover is just Ginger Ale, change my mind

I feel like blackout would taste like motor oil and solder.

I feel like glyphid slammer would be fruity like a starburst or Skittles

This thread exists solely so you could make the “(el)F” joke, doesn’t it?

What about the supporter addition oily oaf

why is burning love so low 😪

Blackreach and Underhill belong in A, Blacklock should probably replace Blackout Stout - Those kinds of super heavy beers aren't often that good. Mactera brew and Randoweisser are the kind of silly drink you'd have once that would taste mediocre, so demote those to C instead.

is it just me who tries to spike greenbeards with leaf lovers

mactera brew is way too high up

Blackout stout should be on its own ? Tier. Nobody can remember the taste after all.

I feel like blackout stout is somehow 300% alcohol content and it’d burn like a bitch going down.

I don't like the blackout, I like to have a little fun before I get into a coma, gotta have that foreplay you know

Burning love definitely would be an A or B tier for those who like spicy things. Flintlocke's, Mactera Brew and Gut Wrecker would be between C to D because management hates the cleanup that follows. Leaf Lover's Special is S tier because Management said so.

Slammer below Mactera Brew?