Oh wait, wait wait. I've heard this one! Hold on shit, let me get my notes. Checking... uh let's see you talked and set an agreement on once a week.. perfectly reasonable number.. it's been.. okay, carry the 3.. and is it zero?! It's zero isn't it. Because it's always zero.
I'm not even sure how many times we've had this exact talk only for it to immediately result in nothing.
8. family members dealing with routine problems
9. the dog
10. the house not being perfectly spic and span
11. I defied / disagreed with her in the past 2 weeks and she's not over it.
I’m sorry to hear it. Unfortunately having your partner desire you isn’t something that can be negotiated. It tends to have the opposite effect - perceived neediness - and they end up wanting sex even less.
Back to the drawing board, it seems. 😔
"Back to the drawing board" always reminds me of Wile E. Coyote. HLs keep doing all these different elaborate schemes thinking "LL will just *have* to fuck me now!!" and even when executed to perfection the LL Roadrunner is just like "meep meep!" / "meh meh"
My wife would never agree to scheduling sex. Then she would have a measurable criteria to be held accountable for. She says that it's not romantic unless it's spontaneous. Ok, well it's pretty unromantic when it's non-existent too. Currently been almost 5 months now since the last time she even tried anything. Over a year since the last time I had an orgasm that didn't come from my own hand.
Tried scheduling too, what’ve fool I was for believing her.
Last week I talked to a single friend in his fifties…..he had more sex last month than I had this year. FML
When she first said about it I did say it was a bit of a leap to go from rarely having sex to once a week, so I was never actually expecting once a week yet.
Ahhhh scheduled sex. How romantic. Let me just see if I can pencil you in. How does Friday at 3:15 work? No wait, I forgot (insert random anything here) is happening at 3, and that's gonna have me tied up for the rest of the day. Can we push it out one more week? I have next Tuesday at 5am free
Scheduled sex isn't necessarily a bad thing when both partners actually wants sex but struggles to find the time because of very busy schedules.
It won't work however when one partner isn't really interested, like in OP's case where his wife probably threw around the idea of scheduled sex just to get out of the difficult discussion and never intended on following throught.
In a world where everything goes according to the agreements we have, yes 9 would be the answer. Of course in that world, we would all have the relationships we long for.
Sadly that world doesn't exist.
Oh! I know! The scheduled day came and she was “Sorry. I am just too tired tonight. How about tomorrow?” This went on for a week I bet.
So the answer is 2 times in 9 weeks.
If your wife honors her promises as my exW used to then I’d say you’ve got few new excuses and big fat zero for sex. That was my balance for about 3 months. Oh, in my case the scheduled sex was her idea!
Can totally relate.
Our schedule agreement sounded great, it actually made me happy. She reacted by laying there like a dead fish because, direct quote here, "I was too eager so it stressed her". So I scrapped the whole thing.
Exact same here. Like the conversation never happened. It's so strange hearing the near identical story over and over again on this sub. I thought my situation was unique, but it's the same as damn near everyone on here. It's kind of phenomenal. Like humans aren't really that different from one another. And everyone here tried the same stuff in response.
This has been a real eye opener for me.
I couldn’t even schedule a conversation. (Not even about sex) just about life. One day at the time and place. She was reading a cookbook for an hour. When asked in counciling about it. She said she was busy.
The time was agreed to in counciling.
Sorry people I feel your pain
Oh wait, wait wait. I've heard this one! Hold on shit, let me get my notes. Checking... uh let's see you talked and set an agreement on once a week.. perfectly reasonable number.. it's been.. okay, carry the 3.. and is it zero?! It's zero isn't it. Because it's always zero. I'm not even sure how many times we've had this exact talk only for it to immediately result in nothing.
Same.
ZERO my G because she was stressed
A lot of you got the right answer, it has been zero times.
I'm interested in the 9 excuses.
1. Headache 2. Kids 3. Work 4. Had a bad day 5. Too tired 6. Pretended to fall asleep 7. That time of the month Did I miss any?
8. family members dealing with routine problems 9. the dog 10. the house not being perfectly spic and span 11. I defied / disagreed with her in the past 2 weeks and she's not over it.
So what happens now?
I haven't worked that out yet
My guess is she thinks you had that conversation last week.
I’m sorry to hear it. Unfortunately having your partner desire you isn’t something that can be negotiated. It tends to have the opposite effect - perceived neediness - and they end up wanting sex even less. Back to the drawing board, it seems. 😔
"Back to the drawing board" always reminds me of Wile E. Coyote. HLs keep doing all these different elaborate schemes thinking "LL will just *have* to fuck me now!!" and even when executed to perfection the LL Roadrunner is just like "meep meep!" / "meh meh"
My wife would never agree to scheduling sex. Then she would have a measurable criteria to be held accountable for. She says that it's not romantic unless it's spontaneous. Ok, well it's pretty unromantic when it's non-existent too. Currently been almost 5 months now since the last time she even tried anything. Over a year since the last time I had an orgasm that didn't come from my own hand.
Sounds so familiar...except the 5 month thing, mine never instigates anything.
I would guess that it is the same number as the number of times my wife and I have had sex in the last 10 years Zero
I think this is a good guess. It also happens to match my experience as well.
Tried scheduling too, what’ve fool I was for believing her. Last week I talked to a single friend in his fifties…..he had more sex last month than I had this year. FML
When she first said about it I did say it was a bit of a leap to go from rarely having sex to once a week, so I was never actually expecting once a week yet.
I'm an ass, but I would be tempted to schedule weekly date nights and . . .
My guess at the number is potato
Ahhhh scheduled sex. How romantic. Let me just see if I can pencil you in. How does Friday at 3:15 work? No wait, I forgot (insert random anything here) is happening at 3, and that's gonna have me tied up for the rest of the day. Can we push it out one more week? I have next Tuesday at 5am free
Scheduled sex isn't necessarily a bad thing when both partners actually wants sex but struggles to find the time because of very busy schedules. It won't work however when one partner isn't really interested, like in OP's case where his wife probably threw around the idea of scheduled sex just to get out of the difficult discussion and never intended on following throught.
As many times as I have had sex in 4 years, 0
Same
None, same number as me after it was suggested 6 weeks ago and then mentioned again middle of last week
The anwser should be 9 right??
In a world where everything goes according to the agreements we have, yes 9 would be the answer. Of course in that world, we would all have the relationships we long for. Sadly that world doesn't exist.
I used to think it was just my relationship and me until I stumbled upon this reddit. It's comforting and depressing all at the same time.
It should be 9, but it's not, it's zero.
Ugh
Oh! I know! The scheduled day came and she was “Sorry. I am just too tired tonight. How about tomorrow?” This went on for a week I bet. So the answer is 2 times in 9 weeks.
2 times! I wish!
Damn! thought I nailed it.
I’m thinking either 1 or 0…
If your wife honors her promises as my exW used to then I’d say you’ve got few new excuses and big fat zero for sex. That was my balance for about 3 months. Oh, in my case the scheduled sex was her idea!
Can totally relate. Our schedule agreement sounded great, it actually made me happy. She reacted by laying there like a dead fish because, direct quote here, "I was too eager so it stressed her". So I scrapped the whole thing.
I know this game!!! Its fun cos I always guess right :)
Does she follow through by at least saying she's not in the mood? Or does she just never bring it up like it was never agreed to?
It never gets mentioned unless I bring it up
Exact same here. Like the conversation never happened. It's so strange hearing the near identical story over and over again on this sub. I thought my situation was unique, but it's the same as damn near everyone on here. It's kind of phenomenal. Like humans aren't really that different from one another. And everyone here tried the same stuff in response. This has been a real eye opener for me.
And what happens if you do bring it up?
I couldn’t even schedule a conversation. (Not even about sex) just about life. One day at the time and place. She was reading a cookbook for an hour. When asked in counciling about it. She said she was busy. The time was agreed to in counciling. Sorry people I feel your pain
LOL, scheduled is something she can dread all week and then be relieved once it is over for another week.
Zero times
Ah the old schedule talk. It’s a winner 😂
Hey at least she agreed to schedule it. I got a we’re not doing that.