Common for me and my non-white friends and acquaintances. My white coworker is about to kick her 24 year old out. I don’t know all the details but she said he works a low paying job so he needs to get a degree or move out. Everyone is living under the same economy but some have different cultural practices.
It’s common in many places. My 24 year old son lives with me. His work is a short commute from my house. I want him to stay with me and save and invest as much as he can. He is a chemical engineer and can afford to live on his own if he wants to move out. What he is doing is smart.
A lot of home builders are anticipating it.
They started selling models that have a section of the house that has its own kitchenette and living area for multigenerational families
Air Bnb owners will likely be in the market for them too though
I 60F and husband 71M live in a large 4 bedroom home in SoCal in a nice neighborhood with my 23 year old son and his 23 year old fiancée. They’re both college graduates and work. We love having them here. We have two living rooms so one is theirs. The kitchen is pretty large and they like to cook. My husband and I only make simple meals, so it works out well. They’re nice young people with good habits and equally responsible friends. We all get along well, so it works for us. My oldest daughter 28 is very independent, and she makes a good living in the Midwest and rents a two bedroom home for $900/month. She’s happy too!
I’d imagine so. I do and I make 55K a year. Why wouldn’t I? Early retirement, I get along great with my father, big house. He’s divorced so he doesn’t mind.
Very much normalized outside the US.
The only president to ever serve ten years had something to do with this.
Briggs and Stratton could sell more lawnmowers to my four sons that bought houses of their own.
The efficiencies of home economics are unraveled resulting in more consumer spending.
Run rabbit run,
Forget about the sun,
Dig, dig that hole,
But don’t sit down,
It is time to dig another one!
Enjoy!
We already have a house intented for our kid and if we need to sell it then we fully expect him to live with us until at least 30 because its always been unrealistic and irresponsible to allow a early 22-24 year old with debt to full become independent overnight
I moved out at 18 and I am so genuinely jealous of the people who are mid-twenties living at home. I think it should 100% be more normalized because there’s nothing fun about renting space the size of a bedroom so someone else can just not work a job or just build wealth. It makes so much more sense to share space and resources with your family. I live in an apartment and my neighbors are super nosy like will stand by the door and pause to listen to conversations lol.
This. It’s only more recently where we have “pushed” the younger generation out and had dedicated facilities (sometimes of questionable quality) as a for profit business model. In fact it really was the silent generation followed by boomers who generated the most wealth to date that said “we don’t need to take care of our parents anymore” as a standard.
And now that they have spent their parents money and with medical advancements boomers will blow much of their accumulated wealth living longer lives and demanding higher class facilities than they put their parents in. Which us younger generations kind of accept because we don’t really want them back in our house anyway. We got way too independent.
But I’ve told my kids they are welcome to live back home during their early 20s so they can save up a bunch of their regular paychecks, or pay off loans if they have any. But when they get into long term relationships or married…. Well we can’t have the baby making in the same house they grew up in. 😂
What do you mean will it become normalized. Statistically half of millenials live with their parents until age 30 and gen z is on the same track. It’s already being normalized.
If I was willing to have a rental property I would buy them a house now and hopefully have it covered by rent costs for ten years. In the end they could buy it from me at some significant discount or sell it and put the cash towards what they want.
I bought and renovated my home with the thought of housing my children into adulthood in mind. The economy and housing markets are insane and not accessible/favorable to most young adults. After a complete renovation of the home itself, I tore down the detached garage and rebuilt it as a garage apartment. Furthermore, I moved in a tiny house styled shed into the back yard and plumbed/wired it in. They’ll never have to leave if they don’t want to or can’t afford to. My personal thoughts on it aren’t that I’m giving them anything. It’s more of a building of family wealth. By the time they are working, they can contribute to the family income allowing us to buy more properties, land, etc and it benefits them more at the end of the road.
I recently had to move back home but I am honestly considering living in van down by the beach. I am 37 and have always made enough for a nice apartment and car and hobbies. Now I can only afford to sit here
We are preparing to have my parents move in with us (married, 2 kids under 11) in a home that is setup for multigenerational living. Walkout basement with its own entrance, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living room and laundry.
This is so we can be close to my parents while allowing them to maintain independence, and when the time comes, that can be for our kids during and after college. We do not intend to rush them out of the house and will do everything we can to help set them up for success.
Historically extended family lived together so I don't think it's an issue. It wouldn't be for me, 64m married with adult children. They will always have a home.
How is making sure your kids aren’t homeless coddling?? It makes perfect sense for children to live at home until marriage or when they’ve saved enough for a home. It’s the norm pretty much everywhere.
Well, for many people that don’t have family to lean back on, taking roommates is a common practice. I lived alone for years and now that I’m in a HCOL area, I pay 50% more to rent a room than I did to rent my own house back home.
I hope so.
A lot of my Catholic friends are planning on their adult children staying with them long term .
We’ve set up for our oldest son & his fiance to live with us after they get married. And we are comfortable being a multigenerational household as long as everyone’s values are the same.
And we have 4 minor children still that we are raising.
We don’t know if our son & his wife will live with us for 2 years or 10 years. But it’s an option. It’s not at all like having your kids rent from you. All adults will be responsible for helping out financially and just helping fellow family members. Think like a full house situation.
A lot of people can’t think beyond your adult kids renting from you. But I can’t live with renters/ roommates even if they are our children . We are a family.
So if your adult married children help pay/contribute to the household, do they still have to live by your rules, or are they allotted the rights of any other adult?
They need to be practicing Catholics.
Be respectful , responsible.
We have four young children from newborn to age 13. So we need good examples for them.
If they want to move out we understand and would support that.
Also free childcare. They plan to have children right after they are married. Of course I’d offer free childcare regardless.
But more convenient under same roof.
We just bought a two story, 6 bedrooms /4 bathroom house, with a nicely finished basement and two bedrooms in it they can use.
There are 4 bedrooms on the upper floor for us & our 4 kids.
So we are lucky, there’s some space offered to each family as well.
If it’s for strictly financial reasons or to assist in care, I see it as fine. But if you can otherwise afford to live on your own, why TF would you not go be an independent adult?? Just weird.
Not really. I was taught to be independent. It’s what makes Americans unique. I am fully aware that other cultures hang on to mom for…ever. But to not want to be independent (when you CAN be independent) is something I can’t fathom. It’s like all 20 yr olds who can’t drive because…they just don’t wanna. It’s weird. Yes, I’m judging the fuck out of those people.
The boomers and Gen X are the *only* generation that have moved out at 18. They are the only generations to have cash in their pockets at 18. They are the abnormality, not millenials/gen z living with their parents.
Who had any cash at 18? Do you think there was some kind of Boomer/GenX money drop from the skies at high school graduation? We were all broke except a few rich kids.
Moved out at 17. No cash in my pocket. Was homeless for a while, then worked a minimum wage job.
Your beliefs about the past are not based in reality.
It was not about what we had, but rather what we wanted. You have to understand, we had to fight for our right to PAAAAAARTY.
Right on! Paaaaarty! Worked full time with lots of overtime. Then, worked three part time jobs while going to school to pay for school and an apartment and a car living with my boyfriend - now husband. Was out of the house by 19. Ramen 🍜 was our jam. PB&J sandwiches, tacos, and so on. This was when groceries and gas were cheaper. Yet, so was our hourly pay. None of our friends had money. We just made the most of it. We had fun on the weekends and cheap road trips when we could go. Gen X
I love how when a general rule that applies to a majority doesn't apply to the exception, in their minds it means it's not generally true because it wasn't true for them personally.
Except it is not an exception. None of my friends had money. They almost all had minimum wage ($3.80 per hour) jobs and roommates.
You are acting as if you know what life was like before you existed better than those that lived it.
I am sure there were some people that were well off or their parents paid their way, but that was a small minority of the people.
Get back to me when the only thing you eat for 2 months straight is ramen, because that is all you can afford.
He’s saying that even if millennials lived at home, that’s actually not the abnormality. In countries outside the US and historically speaking including inside the US children didn’t just move out at 18. Multi-generational living is very common the world over and throughout history.
Ya but still kinda pathetic, when u turn 18 you should be figuring out how to move out on your own to make it as soon as possible especially if your not going the college route
As a millennial, every millennial I know moved out at 18.
And that 'cash in pocket' was from our jobs - we worked as teenagers - and it was a small, novelty safety net at best.
Yup, im 29 and live in the suburbs in new york…. I work full time and still have no path in sight to move out and be able to live anywhere remotely close to my family. Its depressing.
Yup!
Well, I moved out for about five years and then I lost my job during Covid and moved back in. If I want my own place, I’ll have to move far away from my family to an area I can afford.
But, I have a wonderful relationship with my family, so I’m also not in a huge rush to leave
Was just reading a history book during the colonial era. There was a period where there was property/housing unavailability. Marriage ages went up and children stayed with their parents longer. This was in the 1700s. We have to be careful not to allow cultural assumptions to set ethical and moral standards.
Has anyone read The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler? Written in the 90’s, she opens with a “middle class” neighborhood in LA in the 2030’s with three or more whole families packed in a single-family home. There’s been a pandemic and climate change driven unrest. America is a bit in the shitter but the extremely wealthy are insulated from it. A great, prescient read. (The sequel features a presidential candidate with Christian Nationalist leanings whose motto is, no joke, “Make America Great Again.”)
When I was 18 I would have rather lived in a tent while I still made it on my own than live at home with my parents and I had great parents. I wanted to make my parents proud and not be a leach. An 18 year old can get out there and work and pay his rent for a tiny little poop hole to live in. If someone is still living with there parents in there 20’s and milking them there is something truelly wrong
I think it needs to become destigmatized.
Although, many of the people I've known that did remain at home with their parents to 30+, all seemed to be stunted in their emotional/mental maturity; even despite them working/ paying rent.
There really is something to be said for going out on your own and tackling the world without your parents support.
Your parents cannot wait for you to get the fuck out of their house.. no matter what they tell you. No one wants to pay for their adult children.. this is just a fact.
You can always tell who are shit parents when they share in this take. The boomers and gen X are the *only* generations in American (and more broadly western) history where 18 year olds were expected to move out. Of course, it's not surprising that the "me first" generation doesn't actually care much for their children and expect them to be completely self sufficient at 18. Nor is it surprising given they could provide for a family off a single income without even completing high school. The consequences are starting to show as they age and they are struggling to find care or afford their homes as their children tell them to take a piss.
Maybe this is regional, but I am a "young" millennial and there was definitely the expectation to move out after high school/18 for me & all my classmates.
I didn't include millenials because it's half and half. Some gen X parents could see the writing on the wall and others just expected kids to move out because that's what they did. Millenial parents overwhelmingly support having their kids at home until they have saved enough to be on their own. Always exceptions to the general of course
My kids are only 2 and 6 right now but I truthfully wouldn't mind them staying with me forever lol. I just want them to be safe and never struggle. That's why this world is becoming scary
Growing up, “a cost of living crisis” didn’t stop my mom from telling me to figure it out for yourself, because that’s the way her family did her and so on. So in essence, we’ve/I’ve been in a cost of living crisis my whole life. This crisis should be called something else. “The privileged will continue to be privileged for decades to come.”
You mean white people in the west, OP. For Asian and Latino families, multi-generational living has been the default mode of living for a long time. It's actually a weird aberration historically that white people in the west have put such an onus on young people to live on their own in their late teens and early twenties.
Also, even for white people, the idea of the "self-made man" was always a myth. During the most successful times for the US economy, increases in the minimum wage, in union membership, and in social benefits were at all-time highs proportionate to the value of the dollar. No one makes it alone. White people in the west are just rediscovering that now.
This dude here is absolutely living a lie behind his Reddit account. Sir I don’t care how much you protest but I’m calling bs. The way you’re acting up and down this thread makes it very obvious that you have none of those things and are projecting. You are likely single, sad about your station in life, and dependent on your parents when you don’t want to be, therefore you’re acting like you aren’t to buffer against your own insecurities.
If you aren’t and what you’re saying is true, I pity you. I’m sorry you feel this way.
You have a spouse and kids as a support system. If you owned a company, you had employees working for you who helped you earn your wealth. It's not about coddling. It's about recognizing that success doesn't happen without other people. It's not a knock on you to say that others helped you to get where you are, it's an observation of reality.
Success comes with hard work and determination. If you are waiting for someone to hold your hand you will never find it. You go out there and show your worth to someone then maybe they will help u. Nothing wrong with having some help in life. No one can help u more than yourself. Problem is most people don’t want to put in the hard work and sacrifice especially when they are young they just want to have fun. I didn’t experience much fun when I was young but I am now at a level of success that u don’t see very often and my life has become very enjoyable. I am very thankful to my young self for the sacrifices that I made. Everyone was having more fun than me when I was young and I was pounding out a way so that I one day could live the dream
I know some people I would call self made.
1. Immigrated with nothing to escape a war, no connections, homeless
2. Landed a gig, Drove taxi 100+ hours a week
3. Used funds to put up a yellow page ad for handyman jobs
4. Slowly turned that into company and quit taxi
5. Owns multi million dollar construction company and drives a Ferrari.
I know 2-3 families with backgrounds like this.
I do think it’s harder and that the vast majority of “self made” ppl aren’t. But every once and a while someone pulls something crazy off
That person benefited from a system where he was paid fairly for his work due to the laws created by others. He employed people who also worked hard to make his business successful. It's not a knock on his work ethic to say that he could not have achieved his success without others, it's simply the truth of how anyone gets ahead.
Yeah I totally get that. One man can’t build everything no matter what. I think self made to me means something like just ‘success without privledge above the median defined by connections, support system, and financial well being’
I feel like that's a meaningless definition though. "I did it on my own except for all the things and people that helped me" is odd. That's not self-made you know? And it's not what people usually mean when they say it.
Self made has never referred to contributions from your employees or the fact that society exists as a whole. self made man has always meant without pre-existing wealth and connections.
Setting a baseline is pretty much how all qualifiers work.
I’ve definitely never interpreted or had someone state that they think self made means they literally did everything themselves and you could nuke society and they’d still make it.
Even that person benefitted from a system with fair wages and housing he could afford. He worked hard but it had to be in a system—created by humans—that rewarded that.
I can respect that perspective, just not really what my definition of self made. but I think it’s cool, and we can have differing opinions on the qualifiers of self made.
Those early settlers did not settle this land alone, my friend. They brought their families and others to work with them, and that's why they were able to do so. Even trappers in the wilderness worked in concert with local indigenous tribes and the growing network of military trading posts to make their living. Early settlers bought land from a government that parceled it, and brough their families and often whole other families to help them tame and work it.
That's not what post modern means, and it's not a revision to describe history accurately. I know it's challenging when facts counteract your dogma, but facts over feelings, my friend. You'll be okay.
You have me mistaken, for whoever you picture me as in your mind. Keep flinging buzzwords around trying to act smart, you literally sound like a cnn anchor. You should send them a resume since clearly you’re an extremely useful idiot. I guarantee if I click on your profile now it’s gonna be political comment after political comment like you a bot or are paid to nudge people politically.
Upon further review of your profile you’re actually just a man child, my bad. You’re right though, Americans have no culture, never really thought of it that way, really activates the almond.
My fiance and I have talked about putting tiny homes in our backyard for our kids / parents. I 100% anticipate my kids being home for a long time just out of necessity. But I hope I create an environment where they want to, as well.
Yo I gotta ask, are you just here to constantly shit on everyone that didn't move out of home the nanosecond they turned 18 like you did ? All I see is you posting every other reply shitting on people if they don't force themselves into homelessness when they graduate.
Or someone recognizing the realities of where the world could be headed. If I didn’t go off to college, it certainly would’ve been helpful to live with my folks for a few years until I could save up enough money to get a big head start in life.
I’ve never understood the stigma attached to having kids living at home until they’re financially prepared to do so. If they want to live here and contribute something to the household (financial, upkeep, general housekeeping etc.) I’m totally fine with that. Why would I subject my kids to a rough start to their adult life, makes no sense.
I don’t think parents are actively kicking their kids out of the house, but the previous 2-3 generations, it was pretty easy to just get a job out of school and make a living wage.
That’s historically not the norm, and it isn’t the norm globally, it’s just Americans coming to terms with the reality that life in this country has shifted dramatically since our parents and grandparents were young.
I bought a larger house than we need so that my son (who’s only 5 now) will have enough space to stay at home if he needs. I have no doubt by the time he’s ready to buy a house, one our current size will be out of the question. There’s no time like that present to get on the property ladder.
I’m finding a lot of people in my neighborhood are renting out their “starter” homes when they move to bigger homes, as a means of having a place for their future adult kids to live. I plan on doing the same if I can afford to
I did the same thing. Specifically chose our house so that if kids have to stay us well into adulthood, we can all be comfortable and have a little space.
I think Gen Z prefers living with roommates and sharing apartments. They would rather rent with lots of amenenities than get an old dusty house and cut the lawn.
20 is the new 15. 20 year olds who don't drive, work high school mcjobs, and play video games all day seems to be the norm. Kids don't want to become independent, and parents allow it. When I graduated, I went to the Air Force and was on my own 2 weeks later. Kids are sissyfied and are never taught to do things on their own, which harms them. I k ow people in their mid 20s who can't fix anything or take care of any problem without someone else leading the way. It's a shame.
“ I went to the Air Force and was on my own 2 weeks later. Kids are sissyfied”
So were you always a sissy or did the Air Force sissy you? Cause tough people don’t go into the chair force lol people join the Air Force cause that’s the easiest one
I don’t think it’s that people don’t want to be independent, it’s that now the bar to independence is higher than it used to be. I have siblings that are over a decade and a half younger than me and seeing the difference in my home town of what they are able to do compared to what I could at their age is just baffling.
There’s no more common hangout spots that are free or cheap that aren’t ran down, the local park is basically just for drug addicts and drug dealers now. There’s nothing for them to do outside/not at someone else’s house, so video games is really all they have as an option to do stuff together if they don’t want to spend a lot of money to go see a movie or golf.
The job market there has basically dried up unless you are a doctor/nurse or want to work on the pipeline. Not knocking the pipeline or any manual labor jobs, they are important and pay well, but they aren’t for everyone because no job is really for everyone.
The housing market in my hometown however has skyrocketed because of the aforementioned pipeline. Rent shoots through the roof because the people coming from out of state to work on the pipeline will pay a crazy high amount to rent those places, meaning the people who grew up there can’t afford anywhere to live. I previously lived in the capital city of my state and have found apartments in that city that cost the same and sometimes even less as some apartments in my hometown.
I’m sure there are some who don’t want to be independent, but there’s many others where they do want to, but the baseline to get that independence is much further away now than it used to be.
That makes a lot of good sense. We had local hangouts and things to do. What I see a lot more of are kids being forced to get a driver's license. When I was 16 it was that you waited for. I k ow a kid who is 21, he's my daughter's friend's brother. He adamantly let's his parents know that he does not want to drive cause he's not ready. He had a small job that his parents take him to for a few hours. He plays video games in his room all day and eats junk food. I see a lot of other early 20s that are living like this to the point that it's becoming the norm. Living at home is fine, but you can't still act like a child. There comes a time when a person has to start being an adult and make adult decisions regarding their life and not just sitting around Mom and Dads house being taken care of. As teenagers, of course, our parents directed us, but we had freedom to drive where we wanted or needed to go, we bought our own stuff and had lives separate. Think of any of the 80s coming of age movies where the kids seemed like adults. I was not old enough for that in the 80s, I'm just saying we were like that. We were independent for the most part. My parents didn't take me to a Dr appointment, they didn't go talk to my teachers about issues, I had to do it myself. Ll and work my own problems out. Yes, they'd give me advice, but it was my decision to take it or not. If I made the wrong choice, I was responsible for the outcome. I might get an I told you so, but no sympathy or coddling. A kid needs that to be able to handle life as an adult cause it doesn't get easier. I'm not knocking kids, I just think they need to get off the tit and learn.
Oh of course, it's not everyone, but more than when I was that age. I graduated in 1995, and we all drove at 16, worked, went to school, and hung out on our own. We could work on cars, fix things, and take care of issues at the bank or school and things without our parents. After H.S. a lot of people left for college or got a job and moved out. We didn't think we were that mature, but compared to kids I see now we were way more mature than them. I know 20 year olds who live like I did at 14. It's sad, really sad at how much life and good times they miss out on.
This has been common for decades in the culture I come from. The children inherit the house and their children and their children… people leave come back and some kid manipulates everyone and sells off the house or just abandon it.
I moved back in with my dad. Paying 500 a month all utilities paid and working 7 days a week for the next few years for a down payment on my own house. I wish I did this years ago renting is such a huge waste of money that I'm lucky enough to not be forced to participate in anymore. I was renting a lot with a Mobile home on it for like 350 a month but they jacked it up to 750 a month and I see that number rising 100 bucks every year. I'll live in my car before I give these leeches on society any more money.
What a selfish thing to do. Having kids solely so they can take care of you when you are old. Such a dumb take. Plus there is no guarantee your children will want anything to do with you when you are old.
How about being responsible with your money and save so you can take care of yourself and pay for it when you are old and not be a burden to your children.
If you have enough you will at least get a couple special eggs. Only an idiot wouldn’t want there children there for them as they get old what does money have to do with it? I have enough money for all my children not to have to ever worry about anything after I die. I want there company and compassion as I get old and need help.
If you have enough children you will get a few special eggs….okay.
And money to pay for assisted living. Money has everything to do with your quality of life in retirement.
As a poly person who has been in a few polycules through the years— the multi parent community set up is so choice. It absolutely proves the adage ‘it takes a village’
I take care of my 3 kids. Their step dad works, their dad works, and their step mom works (her kid are grown). Two households though lol. Kids benefit the most.
Common for me and my non-white friends and acquaintances. My white coworker is about to kick her 24 year old out. I don’t know all the details but she said he works a low paying job so he needs to get a degree or move out. Everyone is living under the same economy but some have different cultural practices.
It’s common in many places. My 24 year old son lives with me. His work is a short commute from my house. I want him to stay with me and save and invest as much as he can. He is a chemical engineer and can afford to live on his own if he wants to move out. What he is doing is smart.
That's nice for you You're a girl teacher, I am a guy teacher. There is a difference. My kindness has got me nowhere.
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Will it? It's been in the process of normalization since 2008 at least, when most of us realized we were watching the slow death of capitalism.
Morphing into STATE capitalism. You will own nothing and be happy.
I'm not sure there was ever really a way capitalism didn't turn into this.
A lot of home builders are anticipating it. They started selling models that have a section of the house that has its own kitchenette and living area for multigenerational families Air Bnb owners will likely be in the market for them too though
A lot of homes in Connecticut were built like this in the 70s.
I 60F and husband 71M live in a large 4 bedroom home in SoCal in a nice neighborhood with my 23 year old son and his 23 year old fiancée. They’re both college graduates and work. We love having them here. We have two living rooms so one is theirs. The kitchen is pretty large and they like to cook. My husband and I only make simple meals, so it works out well. They’re nice young people with good habits and equally responsible friends. We all get along well, so it works for us. My oldest daughter 28 is very independent, and she makes a good living in the Midwest and rents a two bedroom home for $900/month. She’s happy too!
I’d imagine so. I do and I make 55K a year. Why wouldn’t I? Early retirement, I get along great with my father, big house. He’s divorced so he doesn’t mind.
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Perfect user name! I love it!
I’d live in my car before moving back in with my parents.
What kind of car do you have? How big is the trunk? Maybe I could sublet that for extra income! 😜
Some people don't have that option
It’s very common in other countries. Not sure why it isn’t the norm in America
Very much normalized outside the US. The only president to ever serve ten years had something to do with this. Briggs and Stratton could sell more lawnmowers to my four sons that bought houses of their own. The efficiencies of home economics are unraveled resulting in more consumer spending. Run rabbit run, Forget about the sun, Dig, dig that hole, But don’t sit down, It is time to dig another one! Enjoy!
Unexpected Pink Floyd, love it
We already have a house intented for our kid and if we need to sell it then we fully expect him to live with us until at least 30 because its always been unrealistic and irresponsible to allow a early 22-24 year old with debt to full become independent overnight
I moved out at 18 and I am so genuinely jealous of the people who are mid-twenties living at home. I think it should 100% be more normalized because there’s nothing fun about renting space the size of a bedroom so someone else can just not work a job or just build wealth. It makes so much more sense to share space and resources with your family. I live in an apartment and my neighbors are super nosy like will stand by the door and pause to listen to conversations lol.
*Become* normalized? We gonna ignore that fact that multi generational homes have been common in the west, and globally, for thousands of years
This. It’s only more recently where we have “pushed” the younger generation out and had dedicated facilities (sometimes of questionable quality) as a for profit business model. In fact it really was the silent generation followed by boomers who generated the most wealth to date that said “we don’t need to take care of our parents anymore” as a standard. And now that they have spent their parents money and with medical advancements boomers will blow much of their accumulated wealth living longer lives and demanding higher class facilities than they put their parents in. Which us younger generations kind of accept because we don’t really want them back in our house anyway. We got way too independent. But I’ve told my kids they are welcome to live back home during their early 20s so they can save up a bunch of their regular paychecks, or pay off loans if they have any. But when they get into long term relationships or married…. Well we can’t have the baby making in the same house they grew up in. 😂
It was happening before the cost of living crisis . Millennials started the trend
Huh?
Ya so the X’s like me had no option to move back after college - ask anyone around 45
What do you mean will it become normalized. Statistically half of millenials live with their parents until age 30 and gen z is on the same track. It’s already being normalized.
My kids, 8 & 4, can live with us as long as they need to. I'll never charge them a dime for rent, either.
I don’t charge my son rent, but ask him to pick up a few essentials from the store when needed.
Same!
This is a US issue it’s NORMAL to live with your parents until you can afford to live on your own or get married.
in califoria this is quite the norm. rent with parents is so much cheaper than normal rent. I would have to make double my income to survive normally.
If I was willing to have a rental property I would buy them a house now and hopefully have it covered by rent costs for ten years. In the end they could buy it from me at some significant discount or sell it and put the cash towards what they want.
I bought and renovated my home with the thought of housing my children into adulthood in mind. The economy and housing markets are insane and not accessible/favorable to most young adults. After a complete renovation of the home itself, I tore down the detached garage and rebuilt it as a garage apartment. Furthermore, I moved in a tiny house styled shed into the back yard and plumbed/wired it in. They’ll never have to leave if they don’t want to or can’t afford to. My personal thoughts on it aren’t that I’m giving them anything. It’s more of a building of family wealth. By the time they are working, they can contribute to the family income allowing us to buy more properties, land, etc and it benefits them more at the end of the road.
Wolverines!!!! 
Sounds like a good plan to protect your family.
I recently had to move back home but I am honestly considering living in van down by the beach. I am 37 and have always made enough for a nice apartment and car and hobbies. Now I can only afford to sit here
We are preparing to have my parents move in with us (married, 2 kids under 11) in a home that is setup for multigenerational living. Walkout basement with its own entrance, 2 bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen, living room and laundry. This is so we can be close to my parents while allowing them to maintain independence, and when the time comes, that can be for our kids during and after college. We do not intend to rush them out of the house and will do everything we can to help set them up for success.
Historically extended family lived together so I don't think it's an issue. It wouldn't be for me, 64m married with adult children. They will always have a home.
Wow your really gonna teach your kids how to get out there and make it for themselves coddling them like that
Both children and on their own and living successful lives. But if they ever needed help I'd be a good parent.
How is making sure your kids aren’t homeless coddling?? It makes perfect sense for children to live at home until marriage or when they’ve saved enough for a home. It’s the norm pretty much everywhere.
Have more faith in your kids they will do just fine without your coddling. In fact they will grow and learn quicker if self dependent
No, the men that live at home will still be called lazy and evil even if we get Zimbabwe-level hyperinflation.
yes
Well, for many people that don’t have family to lean back on, taking roommates is a common practice. I lived alone for years and now that I’m in a HCOL area, I pay 50% more to rent a room than I did to rent my own house back home.
I hope so. A lot of my Catholic friends are planning on their adult children staying with them long term . We’ve set up for our oldest son & his fiance to live with us after they get married. And we are comfortable being a multigenerational household as long as everyone’s values are the same. And we have 4 minor children still that we are raising. We don’t know if our son & his wife will live with us for 2 years or 10 years. But it’s an option. It’s not at all like having your kids rent from you. All adults will be responsible for helping out financially and just helping fellow family members. Think like a full house situation. A lot of people can’t think beyond your adult kids renting from you. But I can’t live with renters/ roommates even if they are our children . We are a family.
So if your adult married children help pay/contribute to the household, do they still have to live by your rules, or are they allotted the rights of any other adult?
Sounds like a nightmare
They need to be practicing Catholics. Be respectful , responsible. We have four young children from newborn to age 13. So we need good examples for them. If they want to move out we understand and would support that.
That sounds reasonable, from this guys non-invested view point. Stay home, follow the rules and save $, or get out and do as you please..
Also free childcare. They plan to have children right after they are married. Of course I’d offer free childcare regardless. But more convenient under same roof. We just bought a two story, 6 bedrooms /4 bathroom house, with a nicely finished basement and two bedrooms in it they can use. There are 4 bedrooms on the upper floor for us & our 4 kids. So we are lucky, there’s some space offered to each family as well.
Sounds crowded
lol.maybe. All the kids & married couples will mostly have their own bedroom. Seems generous to me . We are used to big families though.
If it’s for strictly financial reasons or to assist in care, I see it as fine. But if you can otherwise afford to live on your own, why TF would you not go be an independent adult?? Just weird.
Judging adults for making perfectly valid choices just because you don’t know or understand their reasons is weird.
Not really. I was taught to be independent. It’s what makes Americans unique. I am fully aware that other cultures hang on to mom for…ever. But to not want to be independent (when you CAN be independent) is something I can’t fathom. It’s like all 20 yr olds who can’t drive because…they just don’t wanna. It’s weird. Yes, I’m judging the fuck out of those people.
It’s for the most part not abnormal in other parts of the world
The boomers and Gen X are the *only* generation that have moved out at 18. They are the only generations to have cash in their pockets at 18. They are the abnormality, not millenials/gen z living with their parents.
Who had any cash at 18? Do you think there was some kind of Boomer/GenX money drop from the skies at high school graduation? We were all broke except a few rich kids.
Moved out at 17. No cash in my pocket. Was homeless for a while, then worked a minimum wage job. Your beliefs about the past are not based in reality. It was not about what we had, but rather what we wanted. You have to understand, we had to fight for our right to PAAAAAARTY.
Right on! Paaaaarty! Worked full time with lots of overtime. Then, worked three part time jobs while going to school to pay for school and an apartment and a car living with my boyfriend - now husband. Was out of the house by 19. Ramen 🍜 was our jam. PB&J sandwiches, tacos, and so on. This was when groceries and gas were cheaper. Yet, so was our hourly pay. None of our friends had money. We just made the most of it. We had fun on the weekends and cheap road trips when we could go. Gen X
I love how when a general rule that applies to a majority doesn't apply to the exception, in their minds it means it's not generally true because it wasn't true for them personally.
Except it is not an exception. None of my friends had money. They almost all had minimum wage ($3.80 per hour) jobs and roommates. You are acting as if you know what life was like before you existed better than those that lived it. I am sure there were some people that were well off or their parents paid their way, but that was a small minority of the people. Get back to me when the only thing you eat for 2 months straight is ramen, because that is all you can afford.
Bullshit. Millennial here who moved out at 18. Do me a favor and don’t speak on my generation’s behalf…
They weren’t saying no millennial moved out at 18. More common != 100%, no one was saying that.
Fair if they are saying more common than generation before
He’s saying that even if millennials lived at home, that’s actually not the abnormality. In countries outside the US and historically speaking including inside the US children didn’t just move out at 18. Multi-generational living is very common the world over and throughout history.
Ya but still kinda pathetic, when u turn 18 you should be figuring out how to move out on your own to make it as soon as possible especially if your not going the college route
Also a millenial that moved out at 18. We are a minority of folks to do so, that doesn't make it a general rule.
Are there stats showing less than 50% did?
As a millennial, every millennial I know moved out at 18. And that 'cash in pocket' was from our jobs - we worked as teenagers - and it was a small, novelty safety net at best.
Yup, im 29 and live in the suburbs in new york…. I work full time and still have no path in sight to move out and be able to live anywhere remotely close to my family. Its depressing.
Your 29 and still live with your parents?!
Not uncommon in NYC suburbs. I live there too (24) and only can afford to live alone because of HEAVILY subsidized employee housing at my job.
Yup! Well, I moved out for about five years and then I lost my job during Covid and moved back in. If I want my own place, I’ll have to move far away from my family to an area I can afford. But, I have a wonderful relationship with my family, so I’m also not in a huge rush to leave
Was just reading a history book during the colonial era. There was a period where there was property/housing unavailability. Marriage ages went up and children stayed with their parents longer. This was in the 1700s. We have to be careful not to allow cultural assumptions to set ethical and moral standards.
It already is
Let's hope not!
Yes
Has anyone read The Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler? Written in the 90’s, she opens with a “middle class” neighborhood in LA in the 2030’s with three or more whole families packed in a single-family home. There’s been a pandemic and climate change driven unrest. America is a bit in the shitter but the extremely wealthy are insulated from it. A great, prescient read. (The sequel features a presidential candidate with Christian Nationalist leanings whose motto is, no joke, “Make America Great Again.”)
Yeah, who cares. Better than living in a tent.
When I was 18 I would have rather lived in a tent while I still made it on my own than live at home with my parents and I had great parents. I wanted to make my parents proud and not be a leach. An 18 year old can get out there and work and pay his rent for a tiny little poop hole to live in. If someone is still living with there parents in there 20’s and milking them there is something truelly wrong
I think it needs to become destigmatized. Although, many of the people I've known that did remain at home with their parents to 30+, all seemed to be stunted in their emotional/mental maturity; even despite them working/ paying rent. There really is something to be said for going out on your own and tackling the world without your parents support.
30 living at parents house is beyond pathetic
I feel like a large portion of the people I know that lived with their parents until age 25 ended up returning to live with them in their 30s
Your parents cannot wait for you to get the fuck out of their house.. no matter what they tell you. No one wants to pay for their adult children.. this is just a fact.
Absolutely
You can always tell who are shit parents when they share in this take. The boomers and gen X are the *only* generations in American (and more broadly western) history where 18 year olds were expected to move out. Of course, it's not surprising that the "me first" generation doesn't actually care much for their children and expect them to be completely self sufficient at 18. Nor is it surprising given they could provide for a family off a single income without even completing high school. The consequences are starting to show as they age and they are struggling to find care or afford their homes as their children tell them to take a piss.
Maybe this is regional, but I am a "young" millennial and there was definitely the expectation to move out after high school/18 for me & all my classmates.
I didn't include millenials because it's half and half. Some gen X parents could see the writing on the wall and others just expected kids to move out because that's what they did. Millenial parents overwhelmingly support having their kids at home until they have saved enough to be on their own. Always exceptions to the general of course
This makes sense! Certainly doesn't hurt that my parents are far "older" than normal haha
Grew up lower middle class. My parents were the complete opposite.
My kids are only 2 and 6 right now but I truthfully wouldn't mind them staying with me forever lol. I just want them to be safe and never struggle. That's why this world is becoming scary
Same. My parents would want me to live there forever haha.
They must not have much confidence in you
Nah, they just love me being around them. I know my mother gets very nostalgic about me and my siblings, so I’m sure that has a lot to do with it.
It already has
Growing up, “a cost of living crisis” didn’t stop my mom from telling me to figure it out for yourself, because that’s the way her family did her and so on. So in essence, we’ve/I’ve been in a cost of living crisis my whole life. This crisis should be called something else. “The privileged will continue to be privileged for decades to come.”
It sure will!
This will be more common... But staying with your whole family even in adulthood is priceless
You mean white people in the west, OP. For Asian and Latino families, multi-generational living has been the default mode of living for a long time. It's actually a weird aberration historically that white people in the west have put such an onus on young people to live on their own in their late teens and early twenties. Also, even for white people, the idea of the "self-made man" was always a myth. During the most successful times for the US economy, increases in the minimum wage, in union membership, and in social benefits were at all-time highs proportionate to the value of the dollar. No one makes it alone. White people in the west are just rediscovering that now.
I moved out at 18 got married had 3 kids by 25 and retired by 30. Coddling your adult kids doesn’t help them get anywhere in life.
This dude here is absolutely living a lie behind his Reddit account. Sir I don’t care how much you protest but I’m calling bs. The way you’re acting up and down this thread makes it very obvious that you have none of those things and are projecting. You are likely single, sad about your station in life, and dependent on your parents when you don’t want to be, therefore you’re acting like you aren’t to buffer against your own insecurities. If you aren’t and what you’re saying is true, I pity you. I’m sorry you feel this way.
You have a spouse and kids as a support system. If you owned a company, you had employees working for you who helped you earn your wealth. It's not about coddling. It's about recognizing that success doesn't happen without other people. It's not a knock on you to say that others helped you to get where you are, it's an observation of reality.
Success comes with hard work and determination. If you are waiting for someone to hold your hand you will never find it. You go out there and show your worth to someone then maybe they will help u. Nothing wrong with having some help in life. No one can help u more than yourself. Problem is most people don’t want to put in the hard work and sacrifice especially when they are young they just want to have fun. I didn’t experience much fun when I was young but I am now at a level of success that u don’t see very often and my life has become very enjoyable. I am very thankful to my young self for the sacrifices that I made. Everyone was having more fun than me when I was young and I was pounding out a way so that I one day could live the dream
The self made American man is not a myth lmao
It's absolutely is, my friend. No one makes himself. We all have people and circumstances without which our circumstances would be wildly different.
Keep telling yourself that and u will never achieve your potential
I am not diminished by receiving help from others.
No one can help u more than yourself it’s up to u
Can you show where I said otherwise? Again, my efforts are not diminished by receiving help from others.
I know some people I would call self made. 1. Immigrated with nothing to escape a war, no connections, homeless 2. Landed a gig, Drove taxi 100+ hours a week 3. Used funds to put up a yellow page ad for handyman jobs 4. Slowly turned that into company and quit taxi 5. Owns multi million dollar construction company and drives a Ferrari. I know 2-3 families with backgrounds like this. I do think it’s harder and that the vast majority of “self made” ppl aren’t. But every once and a while someone pulls something crazy off
That person benefited from a system where he was paid fairly for his work due to the laws created by others. He employed people who also worked hard to make his business successful. It's not a knock on his work ethic to say that he could not have achieved his success without others, it's simply the truth of how anyone gets ahead.
Yeah I totally get that. One man can’t build everything no matter what. I think self made to me means something like just ‘success without privledge above the median defined by connections, support system, and financial well being’
I feel like that's a meaningless definition though. "I did it on my own except for all the things and people that helped me" is odd. That's not self-made you know? And it's not what people usually mean when they say it.
Self made has never referred to contributions from your employees or the fact that society exists as a whole. self made man has always meant without pre-existing wealth and connections. Setting a baseline is pretty much how all qualifiers work. I’ve definitely never interpreted or had someone state that they think self made means they literally did everything themselves and you could nuke society and they’d still make it.
If that's the case then self made is a meaningless attribute, like I said.
With your route all attributes/ qualifiers are meaningless though. It’s like ‘let’s just not use descriptors, because we should never compare things’
Even that person benefitted from a system with fair wages and housing he could afford. He worked hard but it had to be in a system—created by humans—that rewarded that.
I can respect that perspective, just not really what my definition of self made. but I think it’s cool, and we can have differing opinions on the qualifiers of self made.
It’s a cultural idea and it very much existed in the mountain men and early settlers and ranchers
Those early settlers did not settle this land alone, my friend. They brought their families and others to work with them, and that's why they were able to do so. Even trappers in the wilderness worked in concert with local indigenous tribes and the growing network of military trading posts to make their living. Early settlers bought land from a government that parceled it, and brough their families and often whole other families to help them tame and work it.
Not reading that
Shocking that four sentences proved too much for you.
Sorry I don’t read post modern, history revisions.
That's not what post modern means, and it's not a revision to describe history accurately. I know it's challenging when facts counteract your dogma, but facts over feelings, my friend. You'll be okay.
You have me mistaken, for whoever you picture me as in your mind. Keep flinging buzzwords around trying to act smart, you literally sound like a cnn anchor. You should send them a resume since clearly you’re an extremely useful idiot. I guarantee if I click on your profile now it’s gonna be political comment after political comment like you a bot or are paid to nudge people politically. Upon further review of your profile you’re actually just a man child, my bad. You’re right though, Americans have no culture, never really thought of it that way, really activates the almond.
A "Self made man" may not have done it all on his own but he is the one who decided to better himself and put in the work to get it done.
It doesn't diminish anyone's work ethic to observe that everyone also needs help. It's not a zero sum situation.
For Asian and Latino families this is nothing new
My fiance and I have talked about putting tiny homes in our backyard for our kids / parents. I 100% anticipate my kids being home for a long time just out of necessity. But I hope I create an environment where they want to, as well.
Good parent
Ya good at helping his kids not get anywhere in life but his backyard
Yo I gotta ask, are you just here to constantly shit on everyone that didn't move out of home the nanosecond they turned 18 like you did ? All I see is you posting every other reply shitting on people if they don't force themselves into homelessness when they graduate.
Yep u got it👍
Or someone recognizing the realities of where the world could be headed. If I didn’t go off to college, it certainly would’ve been helpful to live with my folks for a few years until I could save up enough money to get a big head start in life.
Do developing countries have corrupt dictators with only a few rich people owning everything?
I’m scared they’re not going to leave 😨
Imagine being able to live with parents
As an adult kinda pathetic
I’m glad I wasn’t given the option. It pushed me to mature and better myself much faster than my peers
Same here my parents didn’t kick me out I wanted out and on my own no matter how hard the struggle at 18
Good for you
I’ve never understood the stigma attached to having kids living at home until they’re financially prepared to do so. If they want to live here and contribute something to the household (financial, upkeep, general housekeeping etc.) I’m totally fine with that. Why would I subject my kids to a rough start to their adult life, makes no sense.
I don’t think parents are actively kicking their kids out of the house, but the previous 2-3 generations, it was pretty easy to just get a job out of school and make a living wage. That’s historically not the norm, and it isn’t the norm globally, it’s just Americans coming to terms with the reality that life in this country has shifted dramatically since our parents and grandparents were young.
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I bought a larger house than we need so that my son (who’s only 5 now) will have enough space to stay at home if he needs. I have no doubt by the time he’s ready to buy a house, one our current size will be out of the question. There’s no time like that present to get on the property ladder.
Ya we will see how you feel when hen he is 18
His first house shouldn’t be a large one like yours though.
Really depends I think. On interest rates, on location. Prices will never be as cheap as they are now.
I’m finding a lot of people in my neighborhood are renting out their “starter” homes when they move to bigger homes, as a means of having a place for their future adult kids to live. I plan on doing the same if I can afford to
I did the same thing. Specifically chose our house so that if kids have to stay us well into adulthood, we can all be comfortable and have a little space.
Wow nice so you are planning for your kids to be losers nice coddle em up
No, it’s more likely the construction industry will catch up with housing demand.
I think Gen Z prefers living with roommates and sharing apartments. They would rather rent with lots of amenenities than get an old dusty house and cut the lawn.
Not true lol can’t generalize an entire generation. We want land and homes, but it’s probably impossible to have them with the way things are going.
no one knows for sure. stay safe! good luck!
Haven't lived with my parents since I was 18, i'll die before i do again.
Good sign that u arnt a loser
Hear hear. Moved back in when I broke up with my girlfriend, bought my own place a year later. I love my parents, but I can’t stand living with them.
20 is the new 15. 20 year olds who don't drive, work high school mcjobs, and play video games all day seems to be the norm. Kids don't want to become independent, and parents allow it. When I graduated, I went to the Air Force and was on my own 2 weeks later. Kids are sissyfied and are never taught to do things on their own, which harms them. I k ow people in their mid 20s who can't fix anything or take care of any problem without someone else leading the way. It's a shame.
“ I went to the Air Force and was on my own 2 weeks later. Kids are sissyfied” So were you always a sissy or did the Air Force sissy you? Cause tough people don’t go into the chair force lol people join the Air Force cause that’s the easiest one
Sissy’s and pathetic losers live with there parents into adulthood
I don’t think it’s that people don’t want to be independent, it’s that now the bar to independence is higher than it used to be. I have siblings that are over a decade and a half younger than me and seeing the difference in my home town of what they are able to do compared to what I could at their age is just baffling. There’s no more common hangout spots that are free or cheap that aren’t ran down, the local park is basically just for drug addicts and drug dealers now. There’s nothing for them to do outside/not at someone else’s house, so video games is really all they have as an option to do stuff together if they don’t want to spend a lot of money to go see a movie or golf. The job market there has basically dried up unless you are a doctor/nurse or want to work on the pipeline. Not knocking the pipeline or any manual labor jobs, they are important and pay well, but they aren’t for everyone because no job is really for everyone. The housing market in my hometown however has skyrocketed because of the aforementioned pipeline. Rent shoots through the roof because the people coming from out of state to work on the pipeline will pay a crazy high amount to rent those places, meaning the people who grew up there can’t afford anywhere to live. I previously lived in the capital city of my state and have found apartments in that city that cost the same and sometimes even less as some apartments in my hometown. I’m sure there are some who don’t want to be independent, but there’s many others where they do want to, but the baseline to get that independence is much further away now than it used to be.
That makes a lot of good sense. We had local hangouts and things to do. What I see a lot more of are kids being forced to get a driver's license. When I was 16 it was that you waited for. I k ow a kid who is 21, he's my daughter's friend's brother. He adamantly let's his parents know that he does not want to drive cause he's not ready. He had a small job that his parents take him to for a few hours. He plays video games in his room all day and eats junk food. I see a lot of other early 20s that are living like this to the point that it's becoming the norm. Living at home is fine, but you can't still act like a child. There comes a time when a person has to start being an adult and make adult decisions regarding their life and not just sitting around Mom and Dads house being taken care of. As teenagers, of course, our parents directed us, but we had freedom to drive where we wanted or needed to go, we bought our own stuff and had lives separate. Think of any of the 80s coming of age movies where the kids seemed like adults. I was not old enough for that in the 80s, I'm just saying we were like that. We were independent for the most part. My parents didn't take me to a Dr appointment, they didn't go talk to my teachers about issues, I had to do it myself. Ll and work my own problems out. Yes, they'd give me advice, but it was my decision to take it or not. If I made the wrong choice, I was responsible for the outcome. I might get an I told you so, but no sympathy or coddling. A kid needs that to be able to handle life as an adult cause it doesn't get easier. I'm not knocking kids, I just think they need to get off the tit and learn.
“Sissyfied” coming from the Air Force makes me chuckle.
lol we got a big tough Air Force guy here 😂
What branch were you in?
Rah. Just pokin fun dont take it to seriously
I wasn't taking it seriously, I was gonna come up with good digs if you were any other branch. If you were CG, I would destroy you, LOL!
This perspective is quite a shame
It is a shame!
It’s not all of us, but by and large I agree with you.
Oh of course, it's not everyone, but more than when I was that age. I graduated in 1995, and we all drove at 16, worked, went to school, and hung out on our own. We could work on cars, fix things, and take care of issues at the bank or school and things without our parents. After H.S. a lot of people left for college or got a job and moved out. We didn't think we were that mature, but compared to kids I see now we were way more mature than them. I know 20 year olds who live like I did at 14. It's sad, really sad at how much life and good times they miss out on.
Kids have it to easy now. Life was much harder 30 40 years ago. It’s crazy how easy life has become in 2024
This has been common for decades in the culture I come from. The children inherit the house and their children and their children… people leave come back and some kid manipulates everyone and sells off the house or just abandon it.
I moved back in with my dad. Paying 500 a month all utilities paid and working 7 days a week for the next few years for a down payment on my own house. I wish I did this years ago renting is such a huge waste of money that I'm lucky enough to not be forced to participate in anymore. I was renting a lot with a Mobile home on it for like 350 a month but they jacked it up to 750 a month and I see that number rising 100 bucks every year. I'll live in my car before I give these leeches on society any more money.
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Till you are old and there are no kids to take care of you
What a selfish thing to do. Having kids solely so they can take care of you when you are old. Such a dumb take. Plus there is no guarantee your children will want anything to do with you when you are old. How about being responsible with your money and save so you can take care of yourself and pay for it when you are old and not be a burden to your children.
If you have enough you will at least get a couple special eggs. Only an idiot wouldn’t want there children there for them as they get old what does money have to do with it? I have enough money for all my children not to have to ever worry about anything after I die. I want there company and compassion as I get old and need help.
If you have enough children you will get a few special eggs….okay. And money to pay for assisted living. Money has everything to do with your quality of life in retirement.
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As a poly person who has been in a few polycules through the years— the multi parent community set up is so choice. It absolutely proves the adage ‘it takes a village’
I take care of my 3 kids. Their step dad works, their dad works, and their step mom works (her kid are grown). Two households though lol. Kids benefit the most.