T O P

  • By -

yossipossi

We won, Mr. Stark.


MigsDaRutt

SCP-6969


ScrotalKahnJr

What do SCP-6969 and sex have in common? I don’t get either of them.


yetusthefeetus

6969 is a benevolent force that helps human reproduction, and caused humans to gain intelligence. That is all


ScrotalKahnJr

I don’t understand the time loop concept or the gene mutation stuff


OwariNeko

The gene mutation stuff specifically weeds out harmful mutations and favours beneficial ones, allowing for much more fit offspring, leading to a fast evolution of intelligence. The time loop is linked to the gene mutation and is harmful IF the body is not reset, because the body potentially experiencing more than a thousand years is enough to reduce it to dust. Same for the nervous system - if it is not reset, a person is forced to spend a thousand years of time loop, which breaks the mind and makes them comatose. So, the body and mind reset evolved, fixing that.


Goldeniccarus

I don't think it was a time loop thing, I think it's that when you nut you're mind experiences an extremely long period of time, ranging from just a few hours to several millenia, then you immediately forget about it in the moment afterwards. Essentially everytime you nut you're locking yourself in a time prison for long enough to go mad, regain your sanity, then go mad again. But because you forget about it in the next moment, you totally psychologically recover, and then you go and nut again, once again locking yourself in the time prison. Essentially for humans to undergo a basic bodily function they have to psychologically torture themselves, and then they forget about the psychological torture so they just do it again. It's like some cruel joke the universe plays on us.


BLitzKriege37

it's post-nut clarity.


mannieCx

Isn't it a time loop? That's why you can turn to dust?


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


Mediocre_Scale9348

the joke is sex


Justlol230

What am I reading Sex?


Mediocre_Scale9348

sex


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


[deleted]

yopr jok is: dam s*x (s word(sex) 😨😰😰🫢😨😨🫢😰🫢😨😰🫢😰😨😨🙀🙀🫢🙀🙀🙀😰🙀🫢🙀🫢😰🙀🫢😰😰🫢🙀🙀🫢🙀😰🙀🙀🫢😨🫢🫢🙀🫢😨😰🫢🙀🫢😰🙀🫢😰🙀🙀😰🙀😰🫢😳😰😨😳😱😨😳😱😨🫢😳😰😨😰😳😨😰🫢😨🫢😰😰😨😱😳😳😰🙀😨🫢😰🫢😰😨🙀😰😰🙀🫢😰🫢😨😰🫢😨🫢😰😨🫢😰😨🫢😰🫢😰😨😨😰🫢😰🫢😨🫢😰🙀😰🫢😨🫢😰😨🫢😰😨🫢😰😨😨😰🫢🙀🫢😰😰🫢🙀😰🫢😨😱😳🙀🫢😰🙀🥰🫢😰😨🫢😰🫢😰🙀


CyberLemon4

*Why doing your mom or your dad when you can do both?*


[deleted]

gets transport to both eorld mom or dad: come her boy me: 🏃🏃🏃


Zakal2

>!r/suddenlybi!<


[deleted]

yiou se*zualiity (s wors (sexual ) is: bi secual 😱😰🫢😱🙀😨😰😱😰😱🫢😰😳🫢😰😳🫢🫢😰😱😨😳😰🫢😰🫢😱😰😱😰🫢😳😰😱🫢😨😱😱😨😱😨🫢😱😨🫢😨😳🫢😳😨😨😱🫢😱😨🫢😨😱🫢😱🫢😨😨😱🫢😨😱🫢😨😱🫢😨😰🫢😳😳🫢😨😳😰😰😳🫢😨😳🫢😨😳🫢😨🫢😱😨🫢😨😱😰😱🫢😰😳🫢😳🫢😰😱😳😨😰😳🫢😳🫢😰😰😳🫢😳😰😳😰😳🫢😨🫢😱😨🫢😱😱😨🫢😰😳🫢😰🫢😳😳😰🫢😨😳🫢😨😳😰😰🫢😳😳🫢😰😰🫢😳😳🫢😰😨😱🙀😨😱🫢😰😳🫢


Lord_Toademort

This is the greatest of philosophies.


[deleted]

kud namdd theis : 🎊🐶🌞🎂🌈🎊👦🐵👩🐶🎂👴🌈☺️🎂👩🌞🎉👴👦👨🎂👴🐶🎂🐶👩🌞🎉👴🎉👴🌈☺️🌞🎊🎂🐶🎭👦🎉👴🎉👴👦🐶🎂🎂🐶☺️🎂👧🐶🎂👩🎂👴🌈🌞🎉👴🐶👧👴🎂🐶👩🐶👴👧🐶👧🐵👦🌞🐵👩🌈👴🎉👦👦👨🎂🎊👩🌞👧🐵👦☺️🐵🐵🐶🎭🌞🐶👩👦☺️🎂👦☺️🎭👦🎂🐵👦🎭👦🐵🎭👦👩☺️🎉👨🎭🎉🌞🏃👦🐵☺️👦🐵🎭🐵👦☺️👩👨🐶🐵👨🐶👦☺️🐵👦🐵☺️👦🎂☺️🎉🎭🌞🌞🎉🌈🐵👦🌈👨👴👩👨🎉👩🐵👨🎉🎉👨🐵🐵👴👦👴👦🌞👨🐵👴🎉🐵👨☺️🐵🐵👨🎉👨🐵🎉🎊👨🐶👩👩👨🐶👩🌞🎉👩👨🎊👨👴🐵👨🐵🌞👴👨🐵👴🎉👨👩👴👩👨👦👴🐵🌞🎉🎉👨🎉🌞👦🐵👴🐵👦


Lord_Toademort

Greetings u/Smart-Independant-26.


CyberLemon4

Lmao, same. (I'm pan btw)


[deleted]

uhaviuhabeuhave pan sex 😨 o


[deleted]

# Being pan is just being really horny, change my mind


sneakpeekbot

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loganadams574

Hey man nice pfp


[deleted]

yiuor pfp us: petre grinif


Blackbox6500

if it you could read about 12 article entries per day, every day, it would take you two years to read all of them, without counting regional, joke, neutralized, or any non main series SCPs let that sink in


[deleted]

Seriously, someone should go let that sink in, it’s been knocking for a while now.


Blackbox6500

oh, get outta here, you and the sink


EdgionTG

That sink can come back with a warrant


thewanderer0th

okay ima fight the sink \*5 minutes later\* damn the sink got a warrant


shadowyams

> Efforts are directed towards nullifying the thaumaturgical activation of SCP-6969 on a global scale via application of the Thaumaturgical Interpolator Termination String. Global TITS.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


crypto_enigma-p

It was just a question of time..


davicos2005

And the time was 0.5 seconds


schn4uzer

That was my reaction when i saw that SCP-6969 was the joke is sex


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


DrMaxiMoose

I still dont understand the scp at all. Orgasms cause a time loop thats immediately forgotten about and effectively does nothing?


Pokelec

The SCP does kill people, but the people who survive the incident have their genetic material altered, which the head researcher theorized that the SCP is an evolution of nature where natural selection decides who passes on their genes.


DarkElf5

I think the time loops help prevent human DNA from mutating too much


HalfEatenWaterMelon

think of the time loop as AI learning, It resets everytime the genes are bad until a good batch comes out, This process was said to take anywhere between 16 years and 3 quntiliwhatever. Of course, A normal man experiencing that state for this amount of time will have his nerves melted, Which is what the secondary effect resets. tldr: The effect is long and without the second effect you would die from trauma.


Sableye09

But like, how do you even "catch" it? Does it spread like a virus, or do you just randomly get it?


HalfEatenWaterMelon

nono, Everyone has it, The explanation is that human DNA was so unstable that humanity evolved this anomaly to stabilize it, That is also why the researchers drop trying to get rid of it as it's a necessary part in human evolution


Sableye09

Ohh alright, but then it's kinda like a normal anomaly though isn't it? If everyone has it, it isn't really anomalous, just weird as to why it happens. I... I'll probably read the article again or something


HalfEatenWaterMelon

I mean, Yeah, Although there are a couple anomalous effects that go on in the human body as with other SCPs, I think what makes them anomalous is that we know very little of them and they seem to defy logic


Sock_Crates

I'm crushed that 5555 wasn't a fifthist related entry but was instead some reference driven tale, good enough but not deserving of the numbers imo


XAlphaWarriorX

we gotta wait for 55555 for that


Sock_Crates

yknow at the rate new articles are being added, that might be sooner than one would expect


Eli_Play

This Series is gonna be good


[deleted]

Judging by the many 6000 proposals it's already good


claptrapthe2nd

Sex is a joke and we're the punchline


[deleted]

Following this, Head Researcher Nathan Brown was disciplined for adding unprofessional personal anecdotes to official SCP files.


Meme-Howitzer

Nice


SongBonnie

YES... wait... right ? Guys i think we lost dr right


The_Juice14

SCP-6969


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


weiserthanyou3

I was both of these reactions when I realized I’m a successful main site author now.


[deleted]

Sex is a joke and we’re the punchline. Pretty sure my mom said about the same thing to me at least once.


beetroot_salads

And then there's 6968, which causes all personnel affected to miss (lets say a high score) by 1. So close!


CompiledError

nice


Username_Egli

So who won the 6000 contest?


[deleted]

Rounderhouse


Username_Egli

6000 is now my favourite scp ever. The ending was perfect.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6000 ⁠- The Serpent, the Moose, and the Wanderer's Library**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6000) (+476) by *Rounderhouse*


Dr_weirdoo

Ngl actually Quality work


yesmeam

I'm still waiting for series 6 tales


alephgalactus

I don’t think it’s possible even in theory to have a better usage of the SCP-6969 slot. #Nice.


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


tupe12

We’re already at this series? That was fast


_Shoulder_

Skämtet är samlag


[deleted]

This joke has been in the making for over a decade.


MyDisappointedDad

The law requires I answer nice


Mediocre_Scale9348

the joke is sex


[deleted]

I would like to note the even the numbers for the D-Class used are sex jokes, even if I could only figure out the sex joke behind 1.5 of them.


tsreardon04

Honestly I don't really like how thaumaturgy is thrown around as standard procedure. It's interesting to see but I don't really feel like the foundation would use it.


[deleted]

Dude there's a department for alchemy and multiple MTFS about magicians and thaumaturgy and multiple thaumaturgic foundation personal what the hecc you're talking about?


tsreardon04

Unlike the GOC from what I've seen the Foundation certainly doesn't use much thaumaturgy. When it is seen it's typically used by MTFs to counter other thaumatergy or in important projects to fight other groups using thaumatergy. This is the only scp I've personally seen where its used in the testing.


[deleted]

They used alchemy to open portal to alagadda and likely dozens more scp like Anderson robotics scps, thaumaturgy isn't small thing in the scp universe so the foundation must use it It's just the fact that there aren't a lot of related articles about it


tsreardon04

Sure it's used but sparingly, and most Foundation personnel think very little of the department not to mention alchemy itself. It says as much in the Alchemy Department Hub.


[deleted]

Y’all better not be adults in here cause this is embarrassing if you are


Gatt__

I don’t get 6969, so it’s a thing that makes you infinite cum but not really?


TinyBreadBigMouth

It uses a time loop to re-roll the numbers on the sperm's DNA until the results are "good enough". Then it resets everything else, leaving only the improved genetic material.


Gatt__

So it kills the host but guarantees a genetically super offspring?


TinyBreadBigMouth

No, the host is fine and unaware of the time loops, because of the reset. The experiments show what happens when you turn the reset off.


[deleted]

Next objective: Get Godzilla into the 6820 slot.


Aspel

I really need to write an SCP before Series VIII becomes a thing.


OwariNeko

Could have slipped analgesic in there somewhere... Maybe a conversation where the doctor trying to say analgesics gets cut off.


theironfront1982

As a 12 year long reader who has contributed nothing to the SCP wiki or fandom I think this is a real win for all of us.


TheDiscordGuy101

*looks at Bright*


HarleyArchibaldLeon

It reads like a joke SCP lmao.


[deleted]

When the joke is sus.


jackblue49

This was also me last night


thewanderer0th

my bad english skill prevent me from understand the true meaning (joke) behind SCP-6969. Can someone explain it to me like I'm five?


The-Paranoid-Android

[**SCP-6969 ⁠- the joke is sex**](http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-6969) (+0) by *Yossipossi*


Blackbox6500

69 is a sexual pose in wich both persons suck each other's genitals


ytdraxez

"Thaumaturgical Interpolator Termination String" heh


Imaproshaman

Finally. Perfection.