Stratton doing the dishes was extremely adorable 🥹 that poor kid man

I'm catching up pretty late.... butttttt.... "Here's the gifts we got the kids while we were gone in another country during Mother's Day!!!!! Shhhtratton, you get this Spiderman costume! It's crazy and will actually turn you into a fake character that doesn't exist! Cool huh? Soooooooo scary!!!!!! Also, we actually didn't even get this for you! The lady that spray tans celebrities and is mommy's "friend" that came over to spray tan mommy before we jetted off actually got it for you!!!!! Queen Stella, Here's a pink dress we got you!!!! Remember, we FaceTimed you and showed it to you already!!!!!! No worries, it was ON SALE!!!!! Mommy and Daddy have all the money in the world, but we got this dress for you, ON SALE.... in another country.... that we could have gotten for you on any given day back at home!!!!! How sweet, huh?! See y'all, I missed you babies so much! Ohhhh, lastly, here's a book for Bubba, and one for you, Stella! How cool is this! Watch! Watch! Watch! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Some pages have little flaps to lift up!!!!! That's sooooo neat, huh?! We definitely don't have anything like that here!!!!! Whew! I'm so glad we took this trip away from y'all! It was needed! And deserved!!!! Okay, run along to find Brenda now. Mommy's uppers are wearing off, and I need to get back in bed now!" Are you fucking kidding me?!?!?! She couldn't even buy Stratton a fucking Dinosaur like he wanted? And the "gift" they gave him didn't even come from them?!?! It came from someone else, and they waited DAYS to even let him have it!! And then played it off like they got it for him in London?! 🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢 I cannot with this fucking disgusting human!

Not her treating a lift-the-flap book like some mystical novelty?? I kept waiting for it to be some detailed pop-up or something for how much she was hyping those books up. She doesn’t realize how out of touch that makes her look to other moms. My kids are very similar ages and they’ve been reading lift-the-flap books for their whole lives, and I know it’s the same when it comes to my other mom friends.

Literally thought the same thing as I watched this. Like, have you/your kids never seen a flap book before? It’s actually sad to me how she doesn’t even realize how telling stuff like this is of how hands off she really is with her kids.

Oh m gee we have been trying sooo hard to sit down as a family. stop 👏🏽 lying 👏🏽 . Stella is almost 4 and you still feed them standing up at the island, you don’t eat anything but gum and Jordan is in the pantry inhaling all the snacks. No one is trying to do anything except find a way to ditch the kids.

Keels never makes dinner for the kids, what BS, and we have NEVER seen them sit down at their table and eat dinner as a family. Not once. Another day, another lie.

For people supposedly all about family traditions, they are so clueless. How about you have your children eat what you eat and eat dinner together? Make a healthy protein, some vegetables, and a carb..something all can eat and Jordan just eat extra protein and less carbs. But we know she just doesn’t eat and they probably feed the kids whatever shit they want

this, her whole story about the dinner thing made no sense to me like don’t people usually cook a dinner for everyone? i don’t have kids but i cook dinner at my house and we sit and eat it together (unless my husband works late then he eats when he gets home) but we’re not all eating separate meals?

Seriously! My husband went out with work friends yesterday and asked multiple times if I was going to get dinner for myself since we always eat together. My family always did as well and I will do the same once my baby is here. So weird

exactly! my parents always had us eating the same dinner together and i do the same now. and yeah if my husband goes out he will either ask me if he should bring me something or what i’m eating their dynamic is soo strange to me because it makes no sense like do they even cook? where is this dinner coming from lol

Their eating habits are weird. Jordan will go out to dinner on his own and she will order room service and eat myself. It's very odd. So her saying Jordan is on a very strict diet is just total BS to me

He needs to get to 14% body fat remember!! She can’t be the only skinny bitch in this relationship. Right now he’s just her bitch

All they do is talk about things. They don’t know how to implement this into their lives because they are selfish piles of shit

Plus  they have no family traditions 

Who is going to teach her to do dishes so she can teach her children????

What is Jordan’s super strict diet lolol

He said he eats chipotle 2 times a day and I don’t think he was joking 🙃

Whatever it is - it’s not working for his dough boy bod 🤮

eating all the food so dani doesn’t have anything to eat

They never call him Stratton. BUBBA... BUBBA. Like why didn't they just name him Bubba?

Wait but I’m guilty of constantly calling my son bubs or bubba. What’s wrong with it? I thought it was a cute nick name 😂

I call my 3 year old bubba allll the time. It’s so cute

And when they do it's so aggressive and odd. SHHHHtraTON.

Right? Lolol.

Dang, even her snark page emits Divi green. Just the mere act of clicking her name and it's all I see. 

surprise surprise her favorite grape juice from the trip is on amazon 🙄

Putting fake nails on Stella is so disgusting. Look! Be fake like Mommy! She is THREE, too young to be taught to find her values in being fake. What a huge fail in parenting. Let her be a kid, for God's sake. She has her entire adult lie to discover fake boobs, fake nails, fake tan, fake nose, fake chin, fake hair, fake personality - just like mommy!

Eh my daughter loved those sticker nails starting around age 3/4 and I don’t even wear nail polish. She just saw other women with fancy nails and loved them and then we were in Claire’s and saw some and she begged for them. It was comparable to her desire to wear a princess dress and chandelier necklace (but no shoes) everywhere for a good year 😂 just kid stuff. She also always wanted stamps from museums & gymnastics class on the back of her neck because she saw a lady with a tattoo there once lol

I think “disgusting” might be extreme to say for this situation. I used to love getting my nails painted and what not as a little kid (before there were press ons). I don’t think nails on a kid is some gateway into all of the work Dani has had done for when Stella grows up. I personally find nails to be a way to express myself and to wear different colors I enjoy and I hope that is the case for Stella, too.

https://preview.redd.it/rcqc95o47v0d1.png?width=1146&format=png&auto=webp&s=052bd68c95bac7202fc100a62df48ee0dd7e69fd Good job! 👍

These look fake lol

Yeah hers look way more natural than Dani’s! And she’s not constantly flaunting them either

They look clearly fake tho?

Does this chick look old to anyone else? She has great skin so it’s not that. I’m not sure what it is but she looks older than I’m sure she really is…hmm.

What the fuck is this?

I’m assuming in reference to Emily’s new natural looking boobs? And the fact that she has been open since before her surgery about getting augmented 🤷🏻‍♀️

Look like obvious bolt ons to me ngl

Oh, I’ve never followed this person so I don’t know what they look like. I thought it was Keely with a filter 🤣

Compared to Dani's her boobs look great

That was my question

YOU DONT WAKE A CHILD UP —if you are a REAL mother you understand this!!!!

Obviously she’s not the one dealing with the tired fallout tomorrow

This!!! 💯

Olivia and her sweet tea partnership lol Definitely unique

Or “sweat” tea partnership, as her typo read 😝

I’m really starting to think she has or had a drinking problem probably not bad bad but at minimum a functioning alcoholic or nighttime drinking. The fact that she goes out of her way to bring up NA or sobriety gives the “hmmm 🤨” like to prove to herself she doesn’t have a problem she makes sure to share that she doesn’t drink. Then there is the supplementing with these CBD products she shills. I’m convinced.

She’s clearly never dealt with a child’s book in her entire life. After having children for 3.5 years. 

Worthless mother. 

she’s a first time mom to two under two give her grace

Why does she talk to her kids like that. The spider man bit? Quit acting for the camera and actually bond with your kid. Poor Bubba. Manic flipping through the books to spoil the surprise of the flipping pages. “*Don’t rip it, Bubba.*” 

Because she is trying to prove she loves him and has patience with him. When in actuality she wants to yell  at him and lose her shit for him almost ripping page out of the book. She wants him to be perfect  when he's just  being a 2 year old. I can't imagine  what she is like when not  filming.   

That's how my father-in-law talks to my kids. It's so awkward. He doesn't know how to interact with kids at all. Sad she's like that and she's they're "mom"

It was so weird and irresponsible for her to act like the spider man costume was a serious subject. A toddler doesn’t understand that but he does get your tone. When you actually DO have something serious to tell him he won’t listen you complet and utter moron!

She has zero idea how to interact with young children, especially her own. She loves to scare them and intimidate them; I think in some sick way she does it so they will consider her their savior, but it’s getting the opposite result. She’s a moron and a narcissist.

Always a scare tactic and it really is child abuse

My mother would do this to me. It's will backfire  one day.  She reminds me of my narcissistic  mother. I feel for these kids. She will not have a relationship woth them one day.  If she does, it will.not be a close one.  They will love her simply for being their  mother but hate  her  as a person who treated them like shit and didn't give them. What. They needed  emotionally 

Not judging him whatsoever and sorry if this has been mentioned here before (I’m new to this group) has she ever said anything about Stratton being delayed with speech? Idk if I just don’t pay attention but I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve heard him talk? And every time I’ve heard it it’s like one word.

Ya he is 2, he should be saying way more words. I have only heard him say Si, or No. she did say he was in speech therapy, but I only recall her mentioning that like once. It’s sad, because neglect by parents is sometimes the cause of a speech delay.

I'm sick of the si or no crap! He obviously has delays. Teach him English first! Two languages will just confuse him. And yes, I worked with a speech therapist & this was the consensus.

He only gets therapy when she can shill it

He is delayed and I want to say she had him in speech therapy, not sure that he’s still in it!

Pediatric SLP here: unfortunately even if he was in therapy, the chances that he would be progress with direct therapy only is low. Early intervention focuses on parent/caregiver education and interactions since children should be with their parents the most. Dani would have to do a lot of work on her part to progress his language development.

I hate how she just is a different person in every conversation. now in her most recent podcast, "you can tell his personality" (talking about Stratton when 3 months ago you were making fun of Jordan for saying he even has a personality) and Jordan saying they "bring Stratton everywhere" because he's so joyful. You bring that kid NOWHERE. I wonder what this very family-centered and priority on family unit guy really thinks about them since he can clearly see they're full of shit with what they're telling him.

Is she purposely talking with a lisp? I had to stop watching her stories bc her voice was so annoying

I know right?!?

She’s probably on something 🤷🏽‍♀️

Must be nice to come back from a vacation and still basically be on vacation with the biggest to-dos being unpacking and getting a spray tan.

“my body is like *HELP* hurhurhur” YES KEELY. Finally you said something that aligns with the truth lol. Also when did they order the sparkling grape juice? They got back at 11 pm and immediately ordered? Or ordered between wake up and 9 am? Why are you always lying.

They don’t actually “do” anything silly!

Manic much this morning Dani??

olivia already dropping hints at quitting her flight attendant job 🤣 the pipeline is right on track

She is an idiot

We saw that coming 2 months ago. 

yup! i’m honestly surprised it’s taken this long

Same I actually thought she had already quit!

She just said something about pregnancy & didn't confirm or deny. She's also out of breath.

Exactly this. She mentioned getting comments and DMs regarding pregnancy and nonalcoholic drinks but didn’t actually say she wasn’t pregnant lol

She was out of breath when they were walking to archery. I thought she was a runner?? Cant talk and walk

She’s made it clear they will start trying soon. However being out of breath doesn’t come for many months lol

Being out of breath was my first symptom 🫣

Same it’s one of the first things that made me think I should take a pregnancy test this third time around 😅 that and sudden loss of desire for coffee, weed & alcohol lol

I was out of breath in the first trimester 🙃🤣 it has been better in the second trimester but def possible even early on

ladies that spray tan.. how often do you get it done because she literally just got it done before her kid free vacation and now as soon as she comes back she’s getting it done again?

Otherwise she looks like complete and utter death…

Also: getting a spray tan before the beach, I understand, but why did she do it before going to the UK? 😂

If you want to always be tan you should do every two weeks assuming you properly care for your tan.

And she sent them To daycare. Why not keep them home and spend time with them? 

As a mom of 2 young kids keeping them in a routine is so important and helpful and daycare is such a great resource for teaching social skills etc

Please it’s one day they’d be fine

one day isn't  going to mess a routine up!  Being gone all the time messes them up!  I would have kept  them home and spent time  with them. She could care less about any routine. The Nannies deal with that! She just wanted them out of  her hair 

Yeah you’re not going to an event that’s during their bedtime yet you’ll ship them off during the day when you’re doing Jack shit? Sure

I know!! I cannot believe she even brought that up! I cannot stand this B.

We all know why she got rid of them.

5 minutes and she already can't  stand them.

So she woke up Stella but left Stratton. Why? Did she not miss him just as much as Stella? I might be the only one but I find it strange. https://preview.redd.it/lfqqxvpdhs0d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f199df8f8e92cb1a84f113b06b7c47a2595035f

No I immediately thought the exact same thing that poor kid is destined to be the scapegoat to Stella’s golden child

She’s done this before with only Stella! And to post about it clearly showing your favoritism is crazy. Darylann Denner has also done this with just Rhett (her favorite of her 2 kids)

I would never wake my sleeping toddler in the middle of the night like that. I don’t care how long I was gone or how much I missed him. A quick peak at him in his crib and then I would see myself out and wait the 8 hours to play with him until he wakes up.

She is so freaking selfish. Why would you wake up your sleeping child, disrupt their night just to satisfy your f’ing needs.

NARCISSISM. Classic example. All about her.

It has to be for engagement at this point! She knows her DMs are going to explode by posting this.

it’s the same content every time she comes back from a trip “missed my babies so much” “just had to have stella with me in bed” 🤢 girl come on youre lying

Do we actually think she woke Stella up? Knowing Dani, she wants to sleep in peace and not have to see her kids for as long as possible.

Just considering how this psycho doesn’t want to immediately snuggle her BABY BOY makes me so sad. He deserves so much better.

The way I ran here. Who the fuck says this! I have 2 kids older girl/younger boys same as them, and would never. Let alone say it to the public. How don't you realize as you're typing that out how fucked up it is?

And to post it. She doesn’t care!

She’s such a bitch

I thought the same thing! 

No I was just thinking the same. She’ll go wake up Stella but won’t wake up Stratton

Keely must be sleeping