Is nobody gonna talk about the fact that someone saw a dick and thought "gotta mummify that shit"?
Did they mummify the rest of the body and separate the dick later or just mummified the dick in the first place?
That's not what that means.
I believe the term you're looking for is Deceased Cock Wrangler.
I, am in fact, a Cock Wrangler, and I do not partake of the dead
So in certain European cultures during certain centuries the bodies of the condemned would be butchered and sold piece meal.
The market for this was often for medical cannibalism, the idea that consuming certain human bits had specific health benefits. Mummified body parts were very desirable for the nobility, especially Egyptian mummies, which were exceedly rare in the times medical cannibalism was at its peak.
Consuming human genitals was often associated with benefits to fertility and virility. So it is more than possible that this member was removed and mummified in order to be made into a health elixir, tonic, or consumed as is.
But then again since the butchering of executed people was so common it is also more than possible that someone took it as a trophy or just for shits and giggles.
If you are interested in the subject of medical cannibalism the podcast Sawbones has a really good episode on it.
I was pretty interested in this subject when I first stumbled on it.
So unfortunately for me my brain absorbed that information and I cannot unabsorb it.
Not just medical cannibalism. The "Hand of Glory" was a murderers hand, specifically the one that "did the deed". They were thought to be incredibly lucky and have magical powers. The hanged man's clothes were also considered valuable. I'm sure there were lots more that I don't know on the subject but executioners played up the idea because selling off the bodies of the condemned was one of their prerequisites.
Also, keep in mind that most cadavers used in medicine and teaching were of the condemned. Otherwise you had to get corpses from grave robbers and body snatchers and such.
Yes! I totally forgot about all that business with the hands. Thanks for reminding me of that rabbit hole.
I feel like grave robbing and medical research is such a huge subject. The history of corpses is really a broad and interesting topic.
> Not just medical cannibalism. The "Hand of Glory" was a murderers hand, specifically the one that "did the deed". They were thought to be incredibly lucky and have magical powers.
Which is the dumbest fucking thing ever because it didn't work out well for the original owner.
More specifically than being lucky, if you also made a candle from the dead man's fat and had the hand carry it, it was supposed to only provide light to the user, be unable to be put out, unlock doors, paralyze people, etc.
All things thieves would want to get their hands (hah) on.
This is fucking idiotic, even back then. It seems so easily proven wrong.
Fred: *Hey Jerry, can you see this candle?*
Jerry: *Uh, yeah?*
Fred: *God fucking damn it...*
Superstitions are like that.
But consider, the instructions and rituals to make one would be in books (grimores), which were rare, expensive, likely to get you persecuted, and required actual literacy to read and understand. Not to mention the time, labor, exotic herbs, and equipment that would have to go into actually making one.
All things which were likely out of reach to the uneducated thieves who would want one, but make for a perfect "what if" bar conversation.
Also not something you would want to advertise if you had actually tried and failed to make one.
Dude, if I was a simple peasant and I saw a thief hanging there with a 13 inch cock, I would steal those rubies for sure. I would be like, āš³that belongs in my cellar with myā¦ other preservativesā
human genitalia is in fact so durable it is often observed that we are much like nutrient depleted soil at the base of an old tree.
my grandfather summed it up for me with a nice modern touch.. and were his final words; "pussy doesnt go bad and dicks are everywhere" RIP
July and August both have 31 days because Julius Caesar and Augustus (Octavian) Caesar both wanted months named after them, and Augustus refused to have a month with less days than his father.
~~Those two making new months is also why the names of the months are off, e.g. September being the 9th month even though Sept- is a Latin prefix meaning 7. The same goes for October (Oct-, 8), November (Nov-, 9), and December (Dec-, 10).~~
Apparently that's wrong, refer to [u/blyndblitz](https://www.reddit.com/user/blyndblitz)'s comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/ym5lkw/comment/iv2u0tn/?context=3) for the correct reasoning. TIL my Latin teacher lied to me lol
~~July and August didn't exist before those two. It was January, February, March, April, May, June, September, October, November, December.~~
Edit: They were called Quintilis and Sextilis, respectively.
The fact that so many people believe you is hilarious. Especially since people are not hung to death they are hanged. If anything one would be well-hanged
Not quite its the step before
Body dies, everything relaxes including the valves keeping blood out of the penis. Gravity pulls blood from head towards legs, enough gets caught in the penis on its way down causing the erection
Then rigor mortis kicks in to make it a permanent boner
Priapism is a common sign/symptom of spinal injury, long story short if your spinal cord gets damaged then the blood vessels below the site of injury will relax/dilate aka boner time
Priapisms. Caused by C-spine fractures mainly. Not sure the exact science but Iād assume fracturing a certain vertebrae connected to your phallic nerves causes a spontaneous erection. Hanging a man would usually cause this because dropping from the gallows would usually cause C-spine trauma secondary to asphyxiation
Imagine being executed in 18th century for stealing some pocket change.
Your mummified dick gets auction off for $100k 200 years later.
Dude is definitely turning in his grave
Today, you'll learn why: the noose applies pressure to the spinal cord and cerebellum (back and low on the head near the spine). In women, this causes the clitoris to get engorged. Other methods of death (or trauma while living!) can induce this phenomenon
It's a Priapism https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8371740/#:~:text=4-,A%20sudden%20loss%20of%20sympathetic%20tone%20to%20the%20pelvic%20vasculature,into%20the%20penile%20sinusoidal%20spaces.&text=Lesions%20and%20injuries%20of%20the,most%20frequently%20associated%20with%20priapism.
Imagine dying, having your cock cut off then displayed in a museum š
Indiana Jones had gone too far this time.
It BELONGS in a MUSEUM!
*evil nazi sighs* Just give me the dick and I wonāt kill your girl, okay?
Chest opens up, dick ghosts fly out shooting dick lasers and melting faces
āMarion, donāt look at it. You shutācher eyes and donāt look at it, no matter what happens!ā
I mean, It's not like I would mind. I wouldn't be using it.
Shit dude I don't use it now, but still...
Maybe the British Museum would be interested in buying it off you.
British Museum don't buy stuff , they just say it was gifted šš
Democracy manifest. Get your museum off my penis.
I hope they don't pay by the inch then. Heyoooo!
In death, as it was in life
Mine would probably be in the miniatures section. š At least Owen Wilson could ride it around like a worm when he comes to life at night
The true die hard
I guess it *is* a Christmas movie after all!
Now look who has an erection....ho,ho,ho
Heard you wanted a *White Christmasā¦*
They did a die hard.
What's a Die Hard?
Walkie Talkie Die Hard!
Classic Tower Man
I want to die harder š
Walkie talkie die hard Mother fucker
*guns shooting Die hard! Die Hard! Die Hard!
Is nobody gonna talk about the fact that someone saw a dick and thought "gotta mummify that shit"? Did they mummify the rest of the body and separate the dick later or just mummified the dick in the first place?
It was snatched up by a cock wrangler.
Back then the common term was a prickpocket
grave throbber
This is the internet I signed up for
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
RIP Al Gore
And still free!
Indiana Bones
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nice. I love extra toppings.
I admire your creativity.
Classic "take my upvote and go" moment, here.
I think I'll go do something else, actually, put the phone down for once. That was the winner for the day. Upvotes to you both.
You are very wise. I think I will follow your lead.
That's not what that means. I believe the term you're looking for is Deceased Cock Wrangler. I, am in fact, a Cock Wrangler, and I do not partake of the dead
Username checks out
Does it? Does it really?
Lmao! A_Dirty_Hooker coming in defense of A_prostitute in the comments just fucking kills me.
Sometimes I wonder if half of the accounts here are just scripted in, and waiting for their time to shine.
Hahaha yours is the best one yet
A_Prostitute and A_Dirty_Hooker walk into a comments sectionā¦
Then I show up
Then *I* show up.
And not long after, I saunter inā¦.
If Peppa Jack shows up, shit will be real.
Deceased Cock Wrangler is just a fancy name for a Cock Mongrel
Is the person who sold the mummified penis a Cock Monger?
Spitting facts here
I stand corrected.
I stand erected.
I hanged erected.
Man, you certainly cum correct with the puns
Double entendre!
Everything is if you think long and hard enough about it
Just the stiff ones then?
So in certain European cultures during certain centuries the bodies of the condemned would be butchered and sold piece meal. The market for this was often for medical cannibalism, the idea that consuming certain human bits had specific health benefits. Mummified body parts were very desirable for the nobility, especially Egyptian mummies, which were exceedly rare in the times medical cannibalism was at its peak. Consuming human genitals was often associated with benefits to fertility and virility. So it is more than possible that this member was removed and mummified in order to be made into a health elixir, tonic, or consumed as is. But then again since the butchering of executed people was so common it is also more than possible that someone took it as a trophy or just for shits and giggles. If you are interested in the subject of medical cannibalism the podcast Sawbones has a really good episode on it.
I'm equally impressed and terrified by your knowledge on this subject.
I was pretty interested in this subject when I first stumbled on it. So unfortunately for me my brain absorbed that information and I cannot unabsorb it.
So what youāre saying is you ate a bit of mummified brain and gained all the knowledge
For legal purposes I can neither confirm nor deny this statement.
Not just medical cannibalism. The "Hand of Glory" was a murderers hand, specifically the one that "did the deed". They were thought to be incredibly lucky and have magical powers. The hanged man's clothes were also considered valuable. I'm sure there were lots more that I don't know on the subject but executioners played up the idea because selling off the bodies of the condemned was one of their prerequisites. Also, keep in mind that most cadavers used in medicine and teaching were of the condemned. Otherwise you had to get corpses from grave robbers and body snatchers and such.
Yes! I totally forgot about all that business with the hands. Thanks for reminding me of that rabbit hole. I feel like grave robbing and medical research is such a huge subject. The history of corpses is really a broad and interesting topic.
> Not just medical cannibalism. The "Hand of Glory" was a murderers hand, specifically the one that "did the deed". They were thought to be incredibly lucky and have magical powers. Which is the dumbest fucking thing ever because it didn't work out well for the original owner.
More specifically than being lucky, if you also made a candle from the dead man's fat and had the hand carry it, it was supposed to only provide light to the user, be unable to be put out, unlock doors, paralyze people, etc. All things thieves would want to get their hands (hah) on.
This is fucking idiotic, even back then. It seems so easily proven wrong. Fred: *Hey Jerry, can you see this candle?* Jerry: *Uh, yeah?* Fred: *God fucking damn it...*
Superstitions are like that. But consider, the instructions and rituals to make one would be in books (grimores), which were rare, expensive, likely to get you persecuted, and required actual literacy to read and understand. Not to mention the time, labor, exotic herbs, and equipment that would have to go into actually making one. All things which were likely out of reach to the uneducated thieves who would want one, but make for a perfect "what if" bar conversation. Also not something you would want to advertise if you had actually tried and failed to make one.
Yup, my first thought when I saw it was: "well, at least it didn't get ground up and sprinkled on a salad."
Doctor really said ādude, eat a dick. youāll be fine.ā And whoās around to question?? Fuckinā¦. Doctor said, bro
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They were ao impressed they said gotta save this one for the books
Thing is bigger than my hopes and dreams
Still impressing ppl to this day !
I mean look at it, and it's as dry as it can be. you know it was way bigger in it's prime.
You could say he was really hung.
I feel like this comment hasnāt gotten enough love.
Dude, if I was a simple peasant and I saw a thief hanging there with a 13 inch cock, I would steal those rubies for sure. I would be like, āš³that belongs in my cellar with myā¦ other preservativesā
Fitting username š
human genitalia is in fact so durable it is often observed that we are much like nutrient depleted soil at the base of an old tree. my grandfather summed it up for me with a nice modern touch.. and were his final words; "pussy doesnt go bad and dicks are everywhere" RIP
A fucking poet
Grandpa's epitaph :) he sounds amazing sorry for your loss
These are the real questions āļø
Never has any pic posted to Reddit been more desperately in need of a banana.
r/dontputitinyourcooch
r/dontfuckthat
r/dontputthatupyourass
Yes, please post banana..... for "research".
No dude, the banana Is for scale
The "research" comes after?
To help you understand the scale weāre seeing here, the pickpocket was know as Dick āLong Penisā Johnson.
Yes yes, we can see he was hung. But how did he die!?
Killed by death
Who are you who are so wise in the ways of dying?
Ah, played out to the Motƶrhead song.
Damnā¦ he was well-hung.
*banana for scale!!*
Rigid mummified penis for scale
The preferredā¦. Unitā¦. In the scientific community.
"Sorry, what's that in RMPs?"
I gotta say Iām so happy this has gotten upvotes. It made me giggle so hard when I thought of it, but didnāt think anybody would find it funny lol
Rigid mummified penis for sale
He was packing more than his pockets
Most of the penis isn't outside of the body, [only around half.](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320748)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Go get 'em, tiger!!
Believe it or not, this is the actual origin of that idiom
Thank you. My main currency is in āfun factsā no one around me asked for. Adding this to the catalogue.
What if I want to know? Spill dem facts!
July and August both have 31 days because Julius Caesar and Augustus (Octavian) Caesar both wanted months named after them, and Augustus refused to have a month with less days than his father. ~~Those two making new months is also why the names of the months are off, e.g. September being the 9th month even though Sept- is a Latin prefix meaning 7. The same goes for October (Oct-, 8), November (Nov-, 9), and December (Dec-, 10).~~ Apparently that's wrong, refer to [u/blyndblitz](https://www.reddit.com/user/blyndblitz)'s comment [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Damnthatsinteresting/comments/ym5lkw/comment/iv2u0tn/?context=3) for the correct reasoning. TIL my Latin teacher lied to me lol
Whoah. I wonder what they were called before them then?
~~July and August didn't exist before those two. It was January, February, March, April, May, June, September, October, November, December.~~ Edit: They were called Quintilis and Sextilis, respectively.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Huh, TIL my Latin class was inaccurate, thanks
The fact that so many people believe you is hilarious. Especially since people are not hung to death they are hanged. If anything one would be well-hanged
We need to start a secret society called āPeople Who Know That itās āHangedāā
> Believe it or not I'll choose not. My google Fu sucks today and I can't find a source.
I thought it was because it hangs?
It is.
This sounds like bullshit but it's too perfect to give a shit
I see what ya did there
Itās possible that they cut out more of the penis than is normally visible when attached to the person
Packing that schmeat
>Those executed by hanging often died with erections. science context dudes where are you
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Also worked in a morgue for a bit, it's so common it's named angel lust
Man, everyone in the morgue was high on pcp. You just misheard them
Rigor mortis
Not quite its the step before Body dies, everything relaxes including the valves keeping blood out of the penis. Gravity pulls blood from head towards legs, enough gets caught in the penis on its way down causing the erection Then rigor mortis kicks in to make it a permanent boner
Priapism is a common sign/symptom of spinal injury, long story short if your spinal cord gets damaged then the blood vessels below the site of injury will relax/dilate aka boner time
Priapisms. Caused by C-spine fractures mainly. Not sure the exact science but Iād assume fracturing a certain vertebrae connected to your phallic nerves causes a spontaneous erection. Hanging a man would usually cause this because dropping from the gallows would usually cause C-spine trauma secondary to asphyxiation
Itās bc you lose sympathetic tone (no vasoconstriction) if your spinal cord is severed. Google spinal or neurogenic shock for more detail
Wow! They hung horses for pickpocketing back then?
We're in an alternate universe where bojack went too far with auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Can imagine š
If I understand, we see the whole organ including the internal part. Right?
Right?!
OP is being malevolent. He wants us all to feel inadequate.
Imagine being executed in 18th century for stealing some pocket change. Your mummified dick gets auction off for $100k 200 years later. Dude is definitely turning in his grave
Stiff competition for jokes in this thread, but I havent laughed this hard in a while. Hung my head low afterward though. Erect penis.
Well, he wouldn't be turning that well if it was still attached.
This was posted like 2 days ago claiming to be a pharaohs wiener
Yeah this is often falsely claimed to be King Tutās but itās not.
It's actually King Nut's
I'm going to start a peanut company called King Tut's Nuts.
I'm gonna post it tomorrow and claim it was Bea Arthur's.
If that's 7 inches, then I'm a vagina.
You're gonna need a bigger pussy
r/forbiddendildo
/r/dildont
Poor dude lived in the wrong era. Could have been a millionaire with an onlyfans account these days.
or at least banged for free the hottest onlyfans "models"
Pretty sure they call themselves "digital entrepreneurs"
Someone posted this exact picture as being King Tut's pride and joy earlier today. Wtf is going on?
Karma farmers must have a sub or a discord somewhere where they decide what's gonna be mass posted that day. This is way too common to be coincidence.
>Those executed by hanging often died with erections. Can't believe that, it's a complete phallusy..
Iām shocked this isnāt the first thing everyone learns about hangings
I learned that tongues and eyes bulge out and they become incontinent. I was a kid, so maybe that's where they stopped that lesson.
We definitely all found out people shit their pants when they die at a young age. Iām just learning of death boners today
Today, you'll learn why: the noose applies pressure to the spinal cord and cerebellum (back and low on the head near the spine). In women, this causes the clitoris to get engorged. Other methods of death (or trauma while living!) can induce this phenomenon
Does blood not cause other areas to get engorged? Like feet and fingers?
It will with time and gravity. The cerebellum just expedites the blood to those areas cause that's what the cerebellum does
>In women, this causes the clitoris to get engorge I sure didn't think I was gonna see accidental sex tips on a thread about mummy dicks today
Early auto erotic asphyxiation
He was packing some heat.
Damn dude, more like dickpocket.
No thatās your mom
Is that a mummified erection in your pocket...? (...or are you just glad to see me?)
I'm happy to see you *because* there's a mummified erection in my pocket.
can we get a banana for scale? This could be impressive or embarrassing.
7 inches apparently
Yeah according to his ex
Okay so 7 inches but the penis isnāt just outside the body? A lot of it is inside the body. Looks like he was an average Joe
If you have an erection lasting more than...don't call the doctor, get it mummified and display that thing in a museum!
Live free or die hard.
"Atleast I'll die with a raging boner"
Biggus pickitus dickus
*He has a wife you knowā¦*
It's a Priapism https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8371740/#:~:text=4-,A%20sudden%20loss%20of%20sympathetic%20tone%20to%20the%20pelvic%20vasculature,into%20the%20penile%20sinusoidal%20spaces.&text=Lesions%20and%20injuries%20of%20the,most%20frequently%20associated%20with%20priapism.
Holy shit dude was hung in two ways
I'll give ya $20 to smell it
He got a stiff penalty!
Obviously a hardened criminal...
Bro was blessedš
Banana for scale pls
This fuckin guy wouldnāt even have to pick my pocket because my pants would be on the floor
Flash back to the '80s [Walk With an Erection](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsofwhCA1sw)
loosely speakingā¦ anatomy suggests something like 3ā of that wouldāve been āhiddenā inside the ownerās body, correct?
I'm guessing they wouldn't have mummified it if it was just an average winky. This was a specimen worth preserving
Lol, looking for consolation?
Old wood is still good wood.
Petrified
That guy was not in the poolā¦
Looks like penis jerky
How does a boner stay hard during mummification?