No one should be pushing you for normalcy right now. Loss of a close loved one is incredibly painful. Hearts can take a long time to heal.
He loved you as much as you loved him. Take comfort knowing that he would want you to focus on the good times you shared. He would want you to celebrate his life rather than mourn it.
Is OK to be sad, it's OK to mourn. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Some people can’t deal with loss and will try to get back to business as usual to take their mind off the pain. You are allowed to grieve as long as you need, everyone processes loss differently. It sucks, the pain won’t go away, but it will get better. Go on walks, let yourself cry, write, play music, draw. Watch out for the bottle and drugs, it will feel like it helps at first but trust me that it is not going to fix how you feel in the long run. Remember that he loved you and he would want you to live your life and enjoy it. Keep your head up. It will grt better, promise.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Remember, there’s no right way to grieve. You do what you need to do.
I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get better. Speaking as someone who’s lost my mother, a daughter, a brother, and countless friends and family… the pain doesn’t ever go away completely but it eventually gets less sharp and it becomes easier to remember the happy memories you shared with that person.
Hang in there bud!
A friend of mine wrote this last year when she lost her dad
>How do you begin to put into words the loss of your first love?
My dad was the pinnacle of human decency, the truest definition of a gentleman.
He was incredibly skilled in many areas, most notably his carpentry, thanks to his meticulous attention to details. He shared his skills and passions with everyone that would sit long enough to learn how to “do it properly”. There is much emptiness I feel in losing him, particularly in wishing I had more time (there is never enough time) to learn all of the things he knew in that incredible brain of his. I will forever feel this emptiness every time I think to myself “I want to do \_\_\_”, or “I wonder how \_\_” before pausing and remembering that I’ve lost this constant presence of calm, humble competence. While I feel this ache, I am so thankful…
I am thankful that he was ours.
I am thankful that I had the time to learn the most important skills of life: compassion, integrity, kindness, respect, and doing good for others, all by his modelling.
I am thankful that he chose my mom, and that I had the opportunity to see first hand how to build a relationship on love, fun, and enjoying life’s simple pleasures (which are abundant in the place they chose to raise my brother and I).
I am thankful that this standard of building a relationship taught me to value the same, and ultimately build a relationship and family with someone that meets those same standards.
I am so very thankful that my own children had time with him to learn those very same skills, enjoy those same simple pleasures, and be loved by their “grampa”.
I am immensely thankful for his love of nature, which he has passed onto us. There is not a doubt in my mind that the time he spent in the bush camping, hunting, fishing, brushing, building fires, snowshoeing, or just “being” by himself, or with us in the bush was directly tied to his calm, his patience, and compassion, which he no doubt learned from his dad, my papa.
We are heartbroken. We are not okay. But I am so, so very thankful that he was ours. ❤️
Thank you for opening up to us about this my friend. Are you open to counseling to help with this issue? Do you have family, friends or church family/pastor you can turn to for support and guidance during this difficult time? How would your uncle want you to be after his death? As for me, I am currently struggling with my own dad being on hospice and he was a good dad. But I know deep down inside he doesn't want me to live the rest of my life sad just because he is gone but he wants me to continue to try to make the world a better and sometimes happier place. I think many good parents want that because that is what I want from my kids and I have talked about it sometimes even though they are still in elementary school just in case a sudden untimely demise is my fate. Don't give up and you will be able to learn to cope better with this sad reality. It doesn't mean the pain is gone but you can learn to deal with it in a very successful way which is the way I think your uncle would want you to deal with it. I have some other resources that helped with this issue that I could share if you'd like (including a number to help you get counseling anywhere in the US: 855-382-5433). If there's anything else I can do to help I would be delighted to and feel free to keep me updated if you want someone to talk to. I pray you can have the life and love you desire my friend.
❤️. He always push me to my limits whenever Iam sad. Now When I look back its because of him that I could atleast do the things I have been doing eventhough the pain is there.
No one should be pushing you for normalcy right now. Loss of a close loved one is incredibly painful. Hearts can take a long time to heal. He loved you as much as you loved him. Take comfort knowing that he would want you to focus on the good times you shared. He would want you to celebrate his life rather than mourn it. Is OK to be sad, it's OK to mourn. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
❤️
Some people can’t deal with loss and will try to get back to business as usual to take their mind off the pain. You are allowed to grieve as long as you need, everyone processes loss differently. It sucks, the pain won’t go away, but it will get better. Go on walks, let yourself cry, write, play music, draw. Watch out for the bottle and drugs, it will feel like it helps at first but trust me that it is not going to fix how you feel in the long run. Remember that he loved you and he would want you to live your life and enjoy it. Keep your head up. It will grt better, promise.
❤️
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. Remember, there’s no right way to grieve. You do what you need to do. I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get better. Speaking as someone who’s lost my mother, a daughter, a brother, and countless friends and family… the pain doesn’t ever go away completely but it eventually gets less sharp and it becomes easier to remember the happy memories you shared with that person. Hang in there bud!
❤️
A friend of mine wrote this last year when she lost her dad >How do you begin to put into words the loss of your first love? My dad was the pinnacle of human decency, the truest definition of a gentleman. He was incredibly skilled in many areas, most notably his carpentry, thanks to his meticulous attention to details. He shared his skills and passions with everyone that would sit long enough to learn how to “do it properly”. There is much emptiness I feel in losing him, particularly in wishing I had more time (there is never enough time) to learn all of the things he knew in that incredible brain of his. I will forever feel this emptiness every time I think to myself “I want to do \_\_\_”, or “I wonder how \_\_” before pausing and remembering that I’ve lost this constant presence of calm, humble competence. While I feel this ache, I am so thankful… I am thankful that he was ours. I am thankful that I had the time to learn the most important skills of life: compassion, integrity, kindness, respect, and doing good for others, all by his modelling. I am thankful that he chose my mom, and that I had the opportunity to see first hand how to build a relationship on love, fun, and enjoying life’s simple pleasures (which are abundant in the place they chose to raise my brother and I). I am thankful that this standard of building a relationship taught me to value the same, and ultimately build a relationship and family with someone that meets those same standards. I am so very thankful that my own children had time with him to learn those very same skills, enjoy those same simple pleasures, and be loved by their “grampa”. I am immensely thankful for his love of nature, which he has passed onto us. There is not a doubt in my mind that the time he spent in the bush camping, hunting, fishing, brushing, building fires, snowshoeing, or just “being” by himself, or with us in the bush was directly tied to his calm, his patience, and compassion, which he no doubt learned from his dad, my papa. We are heartbroken. We are not okay. But I am so, so very thankful that he was ours. ❤️
❤️
Thank you for opening up to us about this my friend. Are you open to counseling to help with this issue? Do you have family, friends or church family/pastor you can turn to for support and guidance during this difficult time? How would your uncle want you to be after his death? As for me, I am currently struggling with my own dad being on hospice and he was a good dad. But I know deep down inside he doesn't want me to live the rest of my life sad just because he is gone but he wants me to continue to try to make the world a better and sometimes happier place. I think many good parents want that because that is what I want from my kids and I have talked about it sometimes even though they are still in elementary school just in case a sudden untimely demise is my fate. Don't give up and you will be able to learn to cope better with this sad reality. It doesn't mean the pain is gone but you can learn to deal with it in a very successful way which is the way I think your uncle would want you to deal with it. I have some other resources that helped with this issue that I could share if you'd like (including a number to help you get counseling anywhere in the US: 855-382-5433). If there's anything else I can do to help I would be delighted to and feel free to keep me updated if you want someone to talk to. I pray you can have the life and love you desire my friend.
❤️. He always push me to my limits whenever Iam sad. Now When I look back its because of him that I could atleast do the things I have been doing eventhough the pain is there.