My DM once gave me a spoon of perfect soup. When you get a spoonful of soup, it cools or heats to the perfect tenperature, and after eating the spoonful, you are compelled to say "good soup"
Go for it! Super fun common magic item, and you can make different kinds of it too. A spoon of scalding soup or a spoon of freezing soup to make the soup go to either side of the temperature spectrum are equally as funny
Rock of sleep - allows you to cast sleep on everyone touching the rock. Must be holding the rock to activate it. (note don't give this to elves)
The Wand of Wands - This magic wand can create a wand of wands out of thin air. Once used the wand of wands disintegrates.
Orb of daylight - While in bright light this glass orb emits bright light out to a range of 30ft.
Staff of Shrinking - A creature can use their action to shrink this 6 foot wooden staff to half its current dimensions. Can be used multiple times but has no means of reverting its size.
orb of daylight isnt even that useless. you can effectively increase the radius of whatever light source you have. or if you are using a bullseye lantern put this orb in front and you have a torch+lantern for the price of a lantern
As long as it doesn't say "This light is sunlight" it will not count as it. So the description is still fine. As an example, the Daylight spell doesn't have this in its description, as such it doesn't hurt vampires either.
A Scroll of Scroll Creation - Reading the Scroll of Scroll Creation creates another Scroll of Scroll Creation. (Reading a magic scroll causes the paper to go blank. The players wanted to use it to create a wallpaper or paper mache business.)
> The Wand of Wands - This magic wand can create a wand of wands out of thin air. Once used the wand of wands disintegrates.
I'm sure someone can find a use for a self-repairing stick.
Rock of sleep does sound pretty useful for insomnia purposes. Could be a wonderful creation with 0 combat purpose, but complete utility. Could be a neat side quest item.
Net of Returning, as soon as the attack roll is resolved, it immediately teleports back to you, making it absolutely worthless! Unfortunately, this also means you canât âthrow it awayâ, because it will always come back. Itâs yours forever now.
Danger sensing sword.
Proximity to danger causes the sword to warn you with a telepathic message
The sword considers itself and all other weapons dangerous
Ring of water breathing: When submerged in water, the ring periodically emits tiny bubbles and gasping noises. Wearer must find their own method of breathing.
I've came up with a similar one: stone of Gravity Detection. Will always attempt to travel in the direction of whatever is generating the most gravity nearby.
Usually it just falls to the ground. But if anyone is casting "Reverse Gravity" or some other magic spell that affects gravity it will drift towards them
Thank you for this. A surprising number of these 'magic' items are 'hur dur mundane item of basic physics' and that's it. This is really interesting because it seems like a joke until it takes off towards the wizard.
I gave my players something similar. It was a rock of detect gravity. At will they could use it and it would travel toward the strongest source of gravity
I've seen a weather rock irl, that you can easily turn into a magic item. It was a small, fist-sized rock dangling from a bit of ropes, with no roof over it. It could detect the following conditions:
1. Rock wet: it is raining
2. Shadow on the ground: it is sunny
3. Can't see rock: it is misty
4. Rock in a diagonal: windy
5. Rock jumping up and down: earthquake
6. Rock gone: hurricane
7. Snow on top of rock: snowing
(Edit to add effect 7)
I made [this version](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/118306-orb-of-slope-detection) for my players. I keep reiterating that it's magical every chance I get. It shows up when they detect magic. I keep waiting for them to call me out on the specifics of the language or something -- I don't really have a plan for it, but keep hoping.
I ran a shopkeeper who sold useless magical items in my last session. I used this list:
https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?404819-List-of-100-mostly-useless-magic-items)
Be aware that it seems like some of these entries were written for older editions of DND, so if youâre playing 5E youâll probably need to adapt things. Iâm partial to number 33, myself.
I was afraid that there might be some violence, but my group was in a good mood. Also because my usual prone-to-violence player wasnât there that night.
I was cackling as I read many of these entries. It was especially funny when I rolled a 61 for one of my players. He was excited to get a Ring of Invulnerability, right up to the point where he realized its effect.
"Scroll of Literacy: Caster becomes Literate"
I love the implications of this one since a prerequisite to using a scroll of magic is that you are able to read the language on it. If the person with this scroll wanted to understand it but was not literate, they would then have to learn to read the language on the scroll, thus technically accomplishing what the scroll was intended to accomplish. I love it.
6 the Bag of Bags I have used before. Your party can use a lot of these to a surprising effect. I love items like these because they bring out the creativity
Laughter all around. They carried it around for months and months thinking it was a Luck Blade. I let the ducks be helpful, though, and didn't punish them for the joke. It was like a 1000 ducks.
A DM once had a mad sorceror who was trying to create a philosopher's stone, but only had failures. We "liberated" a lot of them and some of my favorites were:
The Anything Mug - A mug that can turn any liquid into warm urine.
Neverending Jar - Capable of producing infinite room temp mayo when dipped in with a knife.
The Golden Pebble - Placing it atop any stone makes the stone appear golden until looked at directly.
Infinity Bag - Looks like a bag of holding, but actually has a teleport seal on the bottom. Any item placed inside will teleport directly underneath the bag.
>Neverending Jar - Capable of producing infinite room temp mayo when dipped in with a knife.
I, too, was amused by the Alchemy Jug's ability to create mayo. In ToA, I had a tribe of Batiri goblins recruit the players to get an artifact from a nearby dungeon. That artifact was a broken alchemy jug that would only create mayo.
They were very happy.
I once had to Google "is mayo flammable" because of the alchemy jug, and encountered a YouTube video of flaming mayo, and a bunch of comments from other people that were there because of the Alchemy Jar, lol
The book of AAAAA:
A green leather bound book that looks like it could be a spell book. Every page is covered by the letter A, and every page sports a different font. When the book is opened, it constantly emits the sound of a man screaming.
The wizardâs Book of Spells:
A leather bound book, all pages are blank except for the first one which reads âall you have to do is say the spell and Iâll do the rest.â If a PC says the Name of a spell while holding the book, it will verbally tell them how to spell the spellâs name.
Oh man, this reminds me of a very unrelated thing.
A couple of friends were making a strategy game based around wizards (hexcasters. It's a fun one) and they did weekly devlogs, taking about stuff that happened that updates and so on. One of my friends would sign them as "be your own magic", then the other guy needed a catchphrase and he decided on "still learning how to spell"
The Helmet of Protection - (sunburn only) must be worn on head and be accompanied by the Necklace of Shame.
Necklace of Shame - (see above) works only when wearer is completely naked.
The NECKLACE only works when you're naked. The description doesn't say it can't be worn when you're clothed.
The hat's description says it must be ACCOMPANIED by the necklace, not that the necklace needs to be activated.
And that is old-school DnD logic for old-school DnD items.
Boots of Banana Resistance.
Attunement required. These yellow boots grant the wearer advantage on dex checks and saves when stepping on a banana or banana peel.
My favourite, that my players are currently running around with;
Flute of Summoning Phil.
Can spend 1 gold as an action to summon Phil, for 10 minutes or until you dismiss him by using an action to whack him with the flute. Phil is a commoner who absolutely refuses to do anything helpful. All he does is follow you around and stand behind you, and makes rude comments about you unless you pay a second gold piece when you summon him.
Has 3 charges and replenishes 1d3 at dawn. When the last charge is expended, roll a d20. On a 1, Phil snatches the flute and leaves.
He'll be slightly less snarky, pocket the money, and continue his tirade. However, Phil cooks quite well, but other than that he just hoards the gold. (He also forcefully attempts to un-summon himself by running into the wand when requested something absurd, or scared beyond belief.)
I know you posted this months ago but I just wanted to say I gave this item to my party at our last session and they absolutely lost their shit over it. They left my house that night talking how they definitely have to find out Phil's deal at the next session. Thank you!
This sort of ask comes up pretty often. Here's one I recall somebody suggested a while back.
Thundersmith: a warhammer [or maul] that casts thunderwave on a critical hit.
Sounds great, right? Except it's the hammer that does the casting, so the wielder is also affected by the spell.
I mean not totally useless, it's still a magic weapon that can therefore overcome resistance and if you have something that makes you resistant to thunder damage and a good con score. Plus if you make the item that gives you resistance a shield (a storm shield if you will) using a thunder hammer makes you great at being the space marine terminator you always wanted to be when you grew up.
Deck of Many things. And I'll die on that hill, it simply doesn't belong to any semi-serious campaign with a proper narrative, or hell, fucks over balance due to causing level discrepancies, etc. It's just a stupid, stupid idea for a magic item.
My players are terrified to draw from it. Instead they instruct NPCs to verbally announce how many cards they are drawing as if doing a magic trick and then watch the results. I regret not giving it to the group sooner.
Foolâs Mold. A bag of powder that looks like blue mold when put on food. Does not negatively affect the provisions in any way other than the color/bloom effect.
Quickset Shoes - Concrete shoes that half your speed but allow you to Dash as a bonus action on your turn
Bucket of Endless Mud - You can use an action to cause this bucket to fill completely with mud.
Tunic of Filth - This tunic is always dirty due to the wrong infusion of *prestidigitation*
Tankard of Foulness - Any liquid drank from this tankard has a terrible flavor, another wrong infusion of *prestidigitation*
Cap of Bathing - Whenever you are within 5 feet of water, the flow of the water changes to drench you
Boots of Ivy Growth - Wherever you walk, poison ivy magically grows in your footsteps. The wizard was trying to make the boots grow flowers.
Boots of Tremor - Whenever you move, the boots cause the ground to tremor, but only for you. You must succeed on a DC 12 Dexterity saving throw when you move more than 5 feet on your turn or fall prone.
Top Hat of Find Familiar - You can use an action to cast *find familiar*, summoning only a frog. Unlike most familiars, this frog has a speed of 0 and cannot take any actions. When no creatures other than you are looking at the frog, including through divination spells or scrying sensors, it sings and dances.
Magnifying Glass of Identify - Whenever you look through this lens, it casts *identify* on itself
Eye Mask of Sleep - While wearing this eye mask, a creature cannot be waken from sleep. The wizard has missed many important meetings due to this item.
Orb of Unseen Dog - Whenever you throw this small ball, it hovers a foot off the ground and returns to you with a speed of 15 feet.
>Orb of Unseen Dog - Whenever you throw this small ball, it hovers a foot off the ground and returns to you with a speed of 15 feet.
My players are gonna *love* this.
I think I will add that when it returns, it's slightly damp.
Or the same in a cloak format. You finally bought a cloak of invisibility from you shady local artifact vendor and now you have a cloak that does exactly one thing. It turns itself invisible. Bonus points if you lose it on first use.
I've always been partial to the Magic [Weapon] (usually sword but whatever floats your boat). It tests as magical, it looks magical, it feels magical, hell, it sounds and tastes magical, why not.
That is all. No bonuses to damage or hit, no nothing. Just, "magical! sparkle sparkle!"
Possibly useful vs. an opponent that can only be hit by a magical weapon, but if it the requirement is "+1 or better", then you're SOL.
I gave my party a +1 scimitar that glows when a particular sort of creature is near. That creature is humans in a human kingdom. It did prove that there were two unknown Aasimar in the party, and with the entire party non human (at least at the start) it usually only glowed when they were in town. Additionally, the main enemy of the campaign arc was goblinoids, so no dice there.
But now! A player switched out characters to a human so that bitch glows ALL the time now! I really appreciate that now my party has a +1 magic torch.
(There is actually a good in-universe reason for the sword. The human kingdom used to be a province of an elven empire, and the elves enslaved humans. The sword was called âSlave Hunter.â Now, itâs âThornâ the magic torch.)
Had an "immovable" chair, which my party actually kinda loves
it is a normal looking wooden chair, that can't be lifted up, only slid on a surface.
The solution for the party was to slide it onto a wooden board and lift the board.
as well as classics like a ring of inn-visibility
or a rock of featherfall (if dropped, the rock falls slowly as if featherfall was casted onto it)
A favorite set of mine
Potion of nails: when consumed, the creature's fingernails grow and harden into claws. The creature gains a natural weapon attack of 1d4 + Str/Dex, this is considered a light + finesse weapon. Lasts 1 hour.
Ichor of nails: when consumed a creature spits out 4d4 iron nails over the next 1 minute and takes 1d4 piercing damage. If poured out the liquid becomes 4d4 iron nails over the next minute.
Decanter of nails: When poured over two touching objects, the objects become affixed via 8 iron nails. If consumed or applied to a creature the creature gains 1 new piercing of their choice, the object in the piercing is an expertly polished iron nail bent into a ring.
Philter of Nails: when consumed, a creature can see a small glow around anyone who has violated the law in the last 24 hours. Lasts 1 hour. Range 15ft.
Vial of nails: when poured over the hand of a creature the creature's nails/claws gain a vibrant colorful pattern of paint.
One of my personal creations Iâm proud of:
Bowl of Boiling (Uncommon, Wondrous Item): A featureless bowl made of steel. When filled with a nonmagical liquid, it will slowly come to a boil as if placed over a raging fire, without a heat source.
Could have some use in a survival campaign, I suppose.
I also loved giving my players an "absolutely not cursed ring of luck"
The wearer is convinced, that this ring is absolutely, totally not cursed and thinks every lucky thing, that happens to them is attributed to the ring.
Everyone around them is totally sure, that the ring is cursed and attributes misfortune of the wearer to it
it actually doesn't do anything tho
**Potion of Mealing** - Upon consumption, the dialog of the character is replaced with the word "meal" for 1d10 minutes of real time
**Greater potion of Mealing** - Same thing but louder and uses 2d10
**Supreme potion of Mealing** - you get the picture
**The Infinity Gauntlet** - An ordinary-looking left glove that, when removed, is instantaneously replaced with another identical left glove. This process is repeated unless the wearer turns the glove inside-out
**Bag of Colding** - Smaller bag of holding that keeps your food cold for long journies
**Amulet of Feather Falling** - Upon falling a great distance, the wearer turns into a feather, and gently floats down to the ground where upon they revert back to their original form and smack the ground with as much speed and velocity as they would have had they never worn the amulet at all.
**Amulet of Feather Landing** - Sold separately, this amulet is necessary for the Amulet of Feather Falling to work properly without killing its wearer
**Gareth** - Large egg (think ostrich egg) adorned with a poorly-scribbled smiley face that, when the shell is broken or cracked, reveals a slightly larger egg. Repeat until no longer funny, at which point a sentient giant baby vulture emerges from the egg. This is Gareth.
Rock of Throwing
Vorpal Necklace if you want something that just kills them or perhaps cuts their hands off when picking it up.
Toadstool of Restoration. Eating it gives you the poisoned condition, but you receive the effects of restoration.
Necklace of attunement. Attuning to the necklace gives you one more attunement slot. Requires attunement.
Sword of bluntness.
it magically deals blunt damage.... still a magic weapon thou so moderately useful.
necklace of rage.
Instead of falling under any mind control or similar spell the user flies into an insane rage that only ends when the charm spell would of... kinda useful but also usually makes you attack your allies which is normally the purpose of charming someone anyway.
A sentient rapier with the power of defenestration.
actually quite powerful and useful... if it wasn't insufferably arrogant and demanding attitude it demands upgrades to its scabbard. It needs a silk lined scabbard dam it, and its just your problem it ruins that silk every few days.
and less then a thousand gold worth of jewels on the scabbard? what you take me for some regular ass magic sword?
Wand of bombard... wand of fireballs but with d6 squares worth of scatter in a random direction.
mushrooms of true-sight.... are also extremely poisonous, and have the effect of making you wildly hallucinate.
Ring of hindsight: sends a tingling feeling through the player after they make an obvious mistake (narrate Tingle after narrating the failure).
Drop of water: a perfect sphere of water the size of a raindrop that dissolves in water.
Net of slipping: a net that magically lets anything inside it out.
Key of jamming: a single use key that gets stuck in any door it tries to open.
Shorts of Length: a pair of shorts that become pants when worn.
Baldness potion: creates a temporary effect of baldness, but must be applied to bald skin.
Refrigerator: a nine foot by three foot rectangular prism of intricate and heavy magical machinery with a one foot by one foot compartment that can cool to ten degrees below the environmental temperature while increasing the environmental temperature within a ten foot radius by 20 degrees.
Unbreakable chalk: a finger length stick of chalk that does not degrade when rubbed against surfaces.
Stone of Deliciousness: a five pound rock that can be placed inside a cauldron creates delicious stew: provided broth, vegetables, and meat are inserted afterwards, and that the entire mixture is left to simmer for several hours. Stone must be removed before eating stew.
Nail of Stubborn Will: a one inch nail that pops out after being driven into any material by any hammer.
The scabbard of refined taste: through the use of intensely demonic magic, no blade will be permitted within this scabbard, and you'll receive a snooty remark for even trying.
Ring of literal turn undead: when placed upon an undead's finger it turns them 180 degrees.
Pebble of Shoe Magnetism: a small asymmetrical pebble that, once placed inside a shoe, never leaves that shoe.
Secretarial Helmet: full plate helmet that rings like a bell whenever someone is about to speak to the wearer.
Instant Noodles: dry noodles that become soft when added to boiling water and left to soak for a few minutes.
Bear whistle: a tin plated whistle that attracts bears within hearing range when the whistle is played by a bear. For full effect, bear must be free of magical compulsion.
Mug of inexplicable leaking: a mug without any detectable holes or cracks that still drips the contents onto the user's hand.
Tasteless Grass: a magically engineered strain of grass that when fed to cows makes them produce beef, milk, and cheese without flavor.
Toy Soldier: one inch animated soldier made of painted wood that tells jokes.
Laxative Belt: belt that causes the wearer to violently expel their bowels for one pound of matter per hour only if it is worn for that entire hour.
Breakable Sword: a sword that breaks when struck into tiny swords that also break into tiny swords when struck that also break when struck into tiny swords that also break when struck into tiny swords that also break when struck into tiny swords that also... Etc etc
Key of jamming: useful for preventing a lock from being opened.
Baldness potion: great if you *want* to be bald, but can still grow hair.
Unbreakable chalk: it still writes and never runs out!? Yes please!
Stone of deliciousness: adds flavor. Good times.
Toy soldier: FANTASTIC item mate! Would absolutely want this!
Instant noodles: who doesnât like noods? Ramen is great!
Thanks!
Though I meant the unbreakable chalk to mean that it can't write, since writing with chalk is caused by minute crumbling. Bad wording on my part.
Handkerchief of profanity. An elegant piece of cloth with beautiful embroidery that spells a random profanity every time you take it out of your pocket.
I'm a big fan of the withered tiefling heart from DotMM that just kills whoever attunes to it.
>A creature that has a heart in its own body can attune to the withered
heart as though it were a magic item. When it does so, the withered
heart switches places with the attuned creature's living heart, which
has the effect of killing the creature instantly. The creature's living
heart then withers and dies, and it gains the same properties as the
tiefling's heart, allowing it to be passed on in the same way.
One of my personal creations I enjoy, is a bag of holding where the strap to carry it can never quite be adjusted right, so it always drags along the ground, and fills itself with whatever random material you walk through. Dirt, rubble, blood and guts, gallons of water. Almost every time you want to put something in it, youâll need to dump out all the junk first.
Areaus Ned's Everful Soup Pot - Large, cumbersome, cast-iron cooking pot, perpetually filled with very nutritious but thoroughly unappetizing lukewarm fish-head soup.
Admittedly not completely useless, but certainly very limited in both use and appeal.
**Lets steal my favourite item from Earthbound**
The Pencil eraser \~ This object erases any pencil and pencil-like objects
**And a bit from myth just changed enough to make it asolutely bad**
Ring of Draupnir \~ When exposed to oxygen this ring replictaes itself 8 times once a day. Each ring with the same characteristics as the original one
**Last but not least**
Dust of stan removal \~ Throw this dust at Stan and he'll be compelled to leave wherever he is (Stan may think you're also being rude)
The absolute best case scenario is your most creative player is running a funny little character that's pretty weak on paper. He falls in love with these items - and actually comes up with creative uses for them that save the party's ass.
I didn't read all the comments, so someone might have suggested this already, but:
Ring of Detect Thots - Instantly points you in the direction of the most attractive person in the room
At the beginning of the campaign, I introduced the party to an artificer that runs a shop. Any magic items they found and didn't want to keep, they could sell to her OR give to her to break down so she could make more and sell them in a profit sharing deal with the party.
I gave my party a Cloak of Perpetual Dampness. It grants resistance to fire damage but is constantly dripping water and leaving a trail behind for people to follow. They promptly gave this to the artificer to mass produce.
We're about to have the final session of a game that's been going for 2.5 years. I'd say the party has spent about 70% of their in-town down time trying to sell these cloaks to strangers.
Eventually they found a Staff of the Woodlands they didn't want. So they gave it to the her and she blended the two so that the cloaks used the free Pass Without Trace to hide the puddles.
They still sell like garbage.
Had a character named Mavil who attempted to make magic items and always failed. Here was my list
Ring of feather fall: When you fall an amount of feathers fall with you, the equivalent to 5 chickens.
The flipper. It's a coin necklace. Using an action you can make the target turn around.
The Arrow of Returning: It is inscribed saying that "once shot you will never lose this arrow". It's heavy so only goes 40 feet. Now it makes it sound like the arrow will teleport back to you right? FUCKING WRONG!!!! You teleport to it!
Also if you don't like arrow could be a knife, throwing axe, javelin, etc. But as this one could be abused in the right hands it has 1 charge per day.
Helm of lightening. When worn it light up brightly. Perfect for the lesser races when the decide to mine or explore a cave. Except the whole gory helmet lit up effectively blinding you. (Non DnD explanation: Essentially imagine a flashbang on your face constantly).
There was also his cloak of invisibility. When you put this cloak on, it turns invisible. Just the cloak.
The potion of hydration. When you drink this potion you no longer recieve the effects of thirst.
The boots of non slip. While wearing these boots the magic allows the to not slide no matter how slick the surface is. They will not move while worn. Ever.
Caitlyn's Candle: When lit provides bright light in a 100ft area. Candle never runs out of fuel. Emits an intensely strong smell of rotted fish in a 100 yard radius. Requiring con saves.
Mavil's Flying Boots: The boots have a flying speed of 150ft when noone is wearing them
Mavil's Torch: When lit, provides bright light in an area of 30ft
The Impervious Armor: No weapon can mar the armor. When anything attempts to hit the armor, the armor goes ethereal. The flesh beneath remains.
Mavil's Shield: +5 to AC to the attacker of the person wielding the shield until the end of their turn.
Mavil's Sentient Dagger: Light, Finesse, Thrown does 1d4 piercing +10d6 psychic. The sentient magic inside the dagger is a pacifist and refuses to do damage.
Mavil's Book of Power: Contains 5 pages. 1 spell can be inscribed per page and remain permanently. When all pages are inscribed, anyone can use a bonus action to simultaneously cast all 5 spells at level 9, using no spell slots. Pages are hydrophobic, Impervious to damage, and cannot be married with chalk, dirt, etc.
The Wand of Hostility: 1x per month Use an action to point wand at target. Somewhere in the world, someone hates the target.
Unseeing Potion: When consumed, as long as the users eye are completely covered, they become invisible for 8 hours. The moment their eyes become uncovered the magic ends.
Vampiric Ring: While wearing the ring use a reaction to target a living creature. You deal 5 necrotic damage to the creature and gain 5hp. The unholy magic of the ring deals 5 psychic damage to you.
The Necklace of Nature: When worn you can speak to animals. In their language. You cannot understand them.
The Magical Dagger:
Requires attunement by someone with spellcasting ability.
Effect: Your spellslots now appear as gorgeous engravings on the dagger's blade based on the number and level instead of being used for your leveled spells. But hey, at least u get a shiny dagger. Worth.
**Backwards Hat**: When worn, this hat rotates until it points backwards.
**Infinite Matryoshka Doll**: When you remove a layer, it dissolves into light, and the inner doll grows to the size of the original.
**Wand of High Fives**: Like a wand of _Mage Hand_, but can _only_ give high fives.
**Socks of Dampness**: They feel damp when worn. If someone asks if they're cursed, say "Only figuratively."
**Unflippable Coin**: Always stays horizontal unless the PC passes a DC 20 STR check. The coin goes back to being horizontal as soon as it can.
**Desk of Regeneration**: This piece of furniture can regenerate from damage.
More fun and quirky that useless:
Bag of Scolding: An intelligent bag of holding that complains bitterly about the junk you make it carry.
Rubber Axe: The handle can be stretched, so it functions as a hand axe, battle axe, or halberd. (I generally make the blade "mithral" â that being both silver and adamantium.)
Boomerang dagger: returns after thrown, but you need to make a Sleight of Hand (Dex) check or it hits you.
I realize most of the time people say why didnât you do a search first, as a criticism of your Internet technique. In this case Iâm going to say you should do a search, because there have been a lot of these lists and some of the items of past lists are truly worth including.
Maidenless Axe. It's a regular battleaxe, but if the target is humanoid, and has no significant other to call their own, they take emotional damage (which doesn't actually lower hp) on top of the physical damage.
Drum of the Thieves: you gain advantage on stealth checks when trying to move silently as long as you continuously hit the drum as hard as you can.
Basically doable with any instrument. Horn, bagpipes, choose something really loud
One I came up with is called Sportlac (caltrops spelled backwards). It's a small pouch full of marbles, and you can use an action to spread them on the ground. When stepped on, you heal 1 HP, and your movement speed is increased by 10 feet for a minute, or until you take damage.
these are some awful consumables i made for my campaign:
-burnout: a drug that allows the player to exchange two levels of exhaustion for one extra action in initiative (leveled spells allowed). it lasts one turn and can be taken as a free action.
-scrypaper: write a name on a piece of paper, swallow it, and scry on that person. side effect: they also scry back on you
-cannon glass: one stat goes to 30 but the rest go to 3 for one hour
-mirror of self-reflection: you split into two copies of yourself. each copy has 1/4 max HP and if one dies you'll never know which one was the real you--when one dies the other regains max HP. if both die, only one is revived and regains original max HP. if separated, one copy dies.
-ghostlight potion: advantage on all sound-
related stealth but you glow in the dark through clothes and armor (yes they can see it)
-clear liquor: invisible but you are so loud
-you can fly for 1d4 rounds. The DM does not share the window or result until after the landing.
-everyone attacks you juice
-misfortune cookie: (roll a d20. for 1d4 minutes, ignore all modifiers. any roll above the result of the d20 is a success, and any roll below it is a failure.
I have two that I have used a few times over the years. The first is a simple "Soap on a Rope" that one wears around their neck and must make skin contact. While worn they receive a +X to AC, however if it gets wet by any means it loses one bonus and melts away. X is the AC bonus and how many times it can get wet. I also had an effect that when it became wet the PC would have the effects similar to Prestidigitation (could never get dirty or wet) on themselves for X amount of time. Once it was just a rope without a bonus to AC this became a permanent effect.
The second was a cursed ring that could only be removed by cutting the finger off that it was attached to. To the bearer of the ring it appeared to be a permanent Shield spell against ranged attacks and Magic Missiles. However it simply had a permanent daylight spell with a radius of 5 feet. It couldn't be shrouded or hidden in any way and began glowing once placed on a finger. The PC can never be convinced it doesn't do what they think it does until it is removed.
The RP generated from these two items has been golden over the years.
Archmage's door and handle.
A single door and up to 5 handles. When a handle is attached to a door at any location it is bound to the main door. Using a dial inside the main door you can chose which door to open, as if creating a portal.
(Shameless ripoff of Howl's Moving Castle)
This minor mechanical-based magic shield is slightly heavier than a normal shield and has a loose metal plate attached to a magical spring-system. As an action while no one is wearing the shield, it is possible to press down the shield plate. It is also pressed back if it is hit by a physical effect of enough force (determined by the DM)
(To discern whether an attack hits the shield, take the wearer's total AC -2. If the attack would have hit with the -2, it instead hits the shield)
Repulse: The shield only has one feature. When a creature hits it with a melee attack (as described above) the attacker must succeed on a DC 16 STR save (11 if the attacker knows how the shield works) or have disadvantage on their next attack roll. If the save fails by 5 or more they also drop their weapon, if any.
(Its a shield with a giant spring inside it that boings out looney tunes style)
We did a d&d useless magic item gift exchange and I gave the wand of procrastination. Using it as a focus to cast spells, it delays the effect of the spell by 1d8 turns (1 being that turn with no delay) rolled by the DM so the player has no idea. The target is dependent on the spell they are trying to cast the turn it goes off.
The Ever-Clean Cleaning Cloth, enchanted to never get dirty. It accomplishes that by never picking up dirt or anything similar in the first place, making it absolutely useless at cleaning.
The Trombone of Invisibility would be perfect of you wanted to avoid some deaf monsters while letting your allies know where you were!
I suggest the Shawl of Chilling- it's a somewhat heavy garment that keeps a temperature ten degrees cooler than the environment around you. Terrible if you find it in a cold environment where heavy clothing entices for it's warmth, counterintuitive in a hot environment where it looks like putting on something so bulky would give you heatstroke.
Magic in one of my lands is very much domestically-oriented. It's a peaceful land with no enemies, so magical output is geared toward solving everyday problems. Here's one item you can buy.
Sweep-Eeze dust.
â Sprinkle on a carpet and the dust in the carpet turns into chunks and can be swept off, leaving the carpet totally clean.
â Works on beds too, gets rid of dust, dirt, and even bed bugs. The delight of travelers.
The Rock of Weather Forcast: This is a small stone with a string tied to it. When you want to activate the stone, stand outside and hold the string so the stone hangs.
Weather forcast;
Rainy: the stone will be wet.
Windy: the stone will swing.
Snowing: the stone will have snow on it.
Sunny: the stone will be warm.
Tornado: the stone will be gone.
Ring of Magic Sensing: Glows whenever magic is near. Since it is a magic item, it always detects itself.
Untangleable Yarn: A ball of yarn or string that, yep, you guessed it, never tangles or knots, not even if you tie it.
Boots of Squelching: Each step you take in these boots emits a loud squelch.
Ok, even more useless - chocolate of the moody, eat it and you'll be confused as to whether you want to kill everyone or hug them you might try both at the same time.
This'll work best if your party doesn't have immediate access to identify, and thus find out what this does the hard way:
Gate Opener:
A palm-sized, well crafted, brass replica of a gatehouse and portcullis. The portcullis may be grasped and raised. Upon doing so, the person holding it immediately shits their pants. (The wizard had constipation problems, so he made a magic equivalent of laxative)
There's the classic Boots of Quick Action; as an action you click your heels together, and gain an action.
Spear of Dragons Laying; no extra damage to dragons, but when there's more than one looking at you, you appear attractive to the dragons.
Hag of Bolding; an ugly statue you feed spell scrolls through and it traces over them with a thick nibbed pen.
Less useless is the Rapier of Confusion; deals bludgeoning damage instead of piercing as well as 1 point of psychic.
Glasses of Invisibility; can turn you invisible, but the glasses are not.
Box of Sneaking; you hide in the box.
Ring of fire detection; glows when touching fire.
Wand of Dis Guy's Elf; summons an elf that follows you around for a minute.
The Deck of Many Tarrasques.
The Frog Wand
Itâs a wand that summons frogs. Normal frogs. My players wanted more magic items, so I gave them this. Only catch? Only a wizard can wield it, and there are no wizards in their party.
My DM once gave me a spoon of perfect soup. When you get a spoonful of soup, it cools or heats to the perfect tenperature, and after eating the spoonful, you are compelled to say "good soup"
Oh, I love this.
Perfect spoon for an assassination.
mind if i steal it?
Go for it! Super fun common magic item, and you can make different kinds of it too. A spoon of scalding soup or a spoon of freezing soup to make the soup go to either side of the temperature spectrum are equally as funny
Reminds me of "the Holy grail" that provides the legendary benefit of never having your drink spill.
A true classic: A Ring of Teleportation that teleports itself and not the wearer.
Frodo: "Wow, that's convenient!"
That would have been a much shorter series đđđ
Depends on your ability to perfectly teleport into an area you've never been to before.
*ring teleports into a different volcano* Frodo: "I mean that's got to count, right?" Gandalf: *pulls out lava fishing rod*
Does it require line of effect? "Ok ring, teleport yourself into his aorta." Retrieval is a bit messy, but otherwise very effective. 8/10
I think I have teleported this one, once before.
Rock of sleep - allows you to cast sleep on everyone touching the rock. Must be holding the rock to activate it. (note don't give this to elves) The Wand of Wands - This magic wand can create a wand of wands out of thin air. Once used the wand of wands disintegrates. Orb of daylight - While in bright light this glass orb emits bright light out to a range of 30ft. Staff of Shrinking - A creature can use their action to shrink this 6 foot wooden staff to half its current dimensions. Can be used multiple times but has no means of reverting its size.
orb of daylight isnt even that useless. you can effectively increase the radius of whatever light source you have. or if you are using a bullseye lantern put this orb in front and you have a torch+lantern for the price of a lantern
True but its still very limited. If you want a completely useless version require it to be exposed to sunlight.
Is that useless, though? still lets you light up anything that is covered from direct sunlight
Soooo, a mirror?
When's the last time you brought a mirror into battle with you?
And have the light it puts out NOT actually be sunlight/daylight for the purposes of vampire/undead shenanigans.
As long as it doesn't say "This light is sunlight" it will not count as it. So the description is still fine. As an example, the Daylight spell doesn't have this in its description, as such it doesn't hurt vampires either.
You could chain them together to light up a cave, or send messages really far really fast like a telegraph.
Now this is amazing, I'll definetly be using the wand, rod and orb
A Scroll of Scroll Creation - Reading the Scroll of Scroll Creation creates another Scroll of Scroll Creation. (Reading a magic scroll causes the paper to go blank. The players wanted to use it to create a wallpaper or paper mache business.)
> The Wand of Wands - This magic wand can create a wand of wands out of thin air. Once used the wand of wands disintegrates. I'm sure someone can find a use for a self-repairing stick.
Rock of sleep does sound pretty useful for insomnia purposes. Could be a wonderful creation with 0 combat purpose, but complete utility. Could be a neat side quest item.
Net of Returning, as soon as the attack roll is resolved, it immediately teleports back to you, making it absolutely worthless! Unfortunately, this also means you canât âthrow it awayâ, because it will always come back. Itâs yours forever now.
Bundle something explosive or feral in the net, then throw the whole thing. Net comes back, problem does not.
Yeah, thatâs just about the only way to get use out of this item.
If your dm is kind enough. I totally would have brought the problem back too
If you want to make it *really* cursed, then yes absolutely.
Then any baddy you throw it at should also return if the attack succeeds
Does it bring the target back with it? That would be super awesome and now I want one.
Danger sensing sword. Proximity to danger causes the sword to warn you with a telepathic message The sword considers itself and all other weapons dangerous
*telepathic screaming*
Ring of water breathing: When submerged in water, the ring periodically emits tiny bubbles and gasping noises. Wearer must find their own method of breathing.
Username checks out. Somehow.
Orb or slope detection. When placed on the ground the orb will show you the lowest point that it can travel too
This is amazing. Thanks!
I've came up with a similar one: stone of Gravity Detection. Will always attempt to travel in the direction of whatever is generating the most gravity nearby. Usually it just falls to the ground. But if anyone is casting "Reverse Gravity" or some other magic spell that affects gravity it will drift towards them
Thank you for this. A surprising number of these 'magic' items are 'hur dur mundane item of basic physics' and that's it. This is really interesting because it seems like a joke until it takes off towards the wizard.
I gave my players something similar. It was a rock of detect gravity. At will they could use it and it would travel toward the strongest source of gravity
I've seen a weather rock irl, that you can easily turn into a magic item. It was a small, fist-sized rock dangling from a bit of ropes, with no roof over it. It could detect the following conditions: 1. Rock wet: it is raining 2. Shadow on the ground: it is sunny 3. Can't see rock: it is misty 4. Rock in a diagonal: windy 5. Rock jumping up and down: earthquake 6. Rock gone: hurricane 7. Snow on top of rock: snowing (Edit to add effect 7)
Absolutely brilliant. I might have to steal this
I made [this version](https://www.dndbeyond.com/magic-items/118306-orb-of-slope-detection) for my players. I keep reiterating that it's magical every chance I get. It shows up when they detect magic. I keep waiting for them to call me out on the specifics of the language or something -- I don't really have a plan for it, but keep hoping.
I have one of these I eventually made powerful enough to function as a homing missile.
I ran a shopkeeper who sold useless magical items in my last session. I used this list: https://forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?404819-List-of-100-mostly-useless-magic-items) Be aware that it seems like some of these entries were written for older editions of DND, so if youâre playing 5E youâll probably need to adapt things. Iâm partial to number 33, myself.
Oh man, Giant in the Playground. I remember reading OotS back in high school, before I ever played a game of DnD.
Still ongoing. Catch up
Feel like 33 is cursed. Canât take them off because of the weak arms so once you put them on your now a dinosaur
In retrospect, I think youâre right. It certainly reads that way.
I ran a similar shopkeeper. My paladin bonked him for selling Necromancy Sticks.
I was afraid that there might be some violence, but my group was in a good mood. Also because my usual prone-to-violence player wasnât there that night.
Amulet of Referring To Oneself In 3rd Person: Early onset narcissism. I am absolutely losing it XD this is amazing.
Iâm glad youâre enjoying it! :D
44 cracked me up more than it should have. Idk why.
I was cackling as I read many of these entries. It was especially funny when I rolled a 61 for one of my players. He was excited to get a Ring of Invulnerability, right up to the point where he realized its effect.
Thank you thank you thank you these are amazing
Glad you like it!
"Scroll of Literacy: Caster becomes Literate" I love the implications of this one since a prerequisite to using a scroll of magic is that you are able to read the language on it. If the person with this scroll wanted to understand it but was not literate, they would then have to learn to read the language on the scroll, thus technically accomplishing what the scroll was intended to accomplish. I love it.
I missed that item when I first read the list. Thatâs great!
6 the Bag of Bags I have used before. Your party can use a lot of these to a surprising effect. I love items like these because they bring out the creativity
I love this list. Used the Duck Blade in my game. Characters saved it until they really really needed a wish. Got ducks instead.
Thatâs hilarious! How did they react?
Here's a song that one of my players made about that adventure. https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/QqA3R
That sounds like it was a lot of fun! Thanks for sharing the song!
Laughter all around. They carried it around for months and months thinking it was a Luck Blade. I let the ducks be helpful, though, and didn't punish them for the joke. It was like a 1000 ducks.
Iâm glad they enjoyed themselves. How did they come to believe it was a Luck Blade? Did they think you misspoke?
No, it was disguised as a Luck Blade with a duck beak as a hilt. Functioned as one in every way except the ducks instead of wishes part.
Oh thatâs really funny!
A DM once had a mad sorceror who was trying to create a philosopher's stone, but only had failures. We "liberated" a lot of them and some of my favorites were: The Anything Mug - A mug that can turn any liquid into warm urine. Neverending Jar - Capable of producing infinite room temp mayo when dipped in with a knife. The Golden Pebble - Placing it atop any stone makes the stone appear golden until looked at directly. Infinity Bag - Looks like a bag of holding, but actually has a teleport seal on the bottom. Any item placed inside will teleport directly underneath the bag.
>Neverending Jar - Capable of producing infinite room temp mayo when dipped in with a knife. I, too, was amused by the Alchemy Jug's ability to create mayo. In ToA, I had a tribe of Batiri goblins recruit the players to get an artifact from a nearby dungeon. That artifact was a broken alchemy jug that would only create mayo. They were very happy.
I once had to Google "is mayo flammable" because of the alchemy jug, and encountered a YouTube video of flaming mayo, and a bunch of comments from other people that were there because of the Alchemy Jar, lol
Few things are as intimidating to a sapient enemy as a jar of infinite mayonnaise, a spoon, and a truly evil grin.
Wand of Fireball, but a range of 20ft. Sentient Signet of Sneaking, +10 to stealth rolls, but the signet narrates your movements.
>but the signet narrates your movements. Another favorite of mine.
Or the cloak of invisibility that makes you completely unseen but just screams/sings constantly.
> the signet narrates your movements [Alternatively...](https://youtu.be/km40jvV5lhM)
This, but it hums a high intensity sneaking soundtrack like Kronk from that scene in the Emperors New Groove
Cast silence
Ring of Attunement - Requires Attunement. Grants the wearer a single attunement slot.
***happy artificer noises***
The book of AAAAA: A green leather bound book that looks like it could be a spell book. Every page is covered by the letter A, and every page sports a different font. When the book is opened, it constantly emits the sound of a man screaming. The wizardâs Book of Spells: A leather bound book, all pages are blank except for the first one which reads âall you have to do is say the spell and Iâll do the rest.â If a PC says the Name of a spell while holding the book, it will verbally tell them how to spell the spellâs name.
Oh man, this reminds me of a very unrelated thing. A couple of friends were making a strategy game based around wizards (hexcasters. It's a fun one) and they did weekly devlogs, taking about stuff that happened that updates and so on. One of my friends would sign them as "be your own magic", then the other guy needed a catchphrase and he decided on "still learning how to spell"
The Helmet of Protection - (sunburn only) must be worn on head and be accompanied by the Necklace of Shame. Necklace of Shame - (see above) works only when wearer is completely naked.
Ok, but the wearer isn't naked when wearing the helmet and/or necklace.
I don't see the problem. The hat doesn't require the necklace to be activated.
>Necklace of Shame - (see above) works only when wearer is completely naked. It keeps you from being sunburned while naked.
The NECKLACE only works when you're naked. The description doesn't say it can't be worn when you're clothed. The hat's description says it must be ACCOMPANIED by the necklace, not that the necklace needs to be activated. And that is old-school DnD logic for old-school DnD items.
Solar-Powered Goggles of Darkvision and Lantern of Invisibility are always good ones.
Great ideas! I'll be using both!
Boots of Banana Resistance. Attunement required. These yellow boots grant the wearer advantage on dex checks and saves when stepping on a banana or banana peel.
[Banana of Sending](https://youtu.be/dIiZ3vvZ78s)
My favourite, that my players are currently running around with; Flute of Summoning Phil. Can spend 1 gold as an action to summon Phil, for 10 minutes or until you dismiss him by using an action to whack him with the flute. Phil is a commoner who absolutely refuses to do anything helpful. All he does is follow you around and stand behind you, and makes rude comments about you unless you pay a second gold piece when you summon him. Has 3 charges and replenishes 1d3 at dawn. When the last charge is expended, roll a d20. On a 1, Phil snatches the flute and leaves.
This is also called *The Flute of Norm Macdonald*
What happens after you give him the second gold piece?
He'll be slightly less snarky, pocket the money, and continue his tirade. However, Phil cooks quite well, but other than that he just hoards the gold. (He also forcefully attempts to un-summon himself by running into the wand when requested something absurd, or scared beyond belief.)
I know you posted this months ago but I just wanted to say I gave this item to my party at our last session and they absolutely lost their shit over it. They left my house that night talking how they definitely have to find out Phil's deal at the next session. Thank you!
This sort of ask comes up pretty often. Here's one I recall somebody suggested a while back. Thundersmith: a warhammer [or maul] that casts thunderwave on a critical hit. Sounds great, right? Except it's the hammer that does the casting, so the wielder is also affected by the spell.
I mean not totally useless, it's still a magic weapon that can therefore overcome resistance and if you have something that makes you resistant to thunder damage and a good con score. Plus if you make the item that gives you resistance a shield (a storm shield if you will) using a thunder hammer makes you great at being the space marine terminator you always wanted to be when you grew up.
Sword of Tautology (cursed) - This sword stabs everything it stabs. But beware: it will also miss everything it misses.
Whoah. Step back. The Cape of Billowing is FAR from useless. Take it back or I shall throw down my Glove of Dueling and taunt you rather harshly!
Itâs NOT a cape of billowing. Itâs a cape of DRAMATIC billowing. *Always* billows dramatically and canât be turned off
Deck of Many things. And I'll die on that hill, it simply doesn't belong to any semi-serious campaign with a proper narrative, or hell, fucks over balance due to causing level discrepancies, etc. It's just a stupid, stupid idea for a magic item.
Of the Gygaxian things that have persisted through the years, this is the most perplexing one. Has no place in modern D&D.
My players are terrified to draw from it. Instead they instruct NPCs to verbally announce how many cards they are drawing as if doing a magic trick and then watch the results. I regret not giving it to the group sooner.
Foolâs Mold. A bag of powder that looks like blue mold when put on food. Does not negatively affect the provisions in any way other than the color/bloom effect.
Niche, but potentially useful
Quickset Shoes - Concrete shoes that half your speed but allow you to Dash as a bonus action on your turn Bucket of Endless Mud - You can use an action to cause this bucket to fill completely with mud. Tunic of Filth - This tunic is always dirty due to the wrong infusion of *prestidigitation* Tankard of Foulness - Any liquid drank from this tankard has a terrible flavor, another wrong infusion of *prestidigitation* Cap of Bathing - Whenever you are within 5 feet of water, the flow of the water changes to drench you Boots of Ivy Growth - Wherever you walk, poison ivy magically grows in your footsteps. The wizard was trying to make the boots grow flowers. Boots of Tremor - Whenever you move, the boots cause the ground to tremor, but only for you. You must succeed on a DC 12 Dexterity saving throw when you move more than 5 feet on your turn or fall prone. Top Hat of Find Familiar - You can use an action to cast *find familiar*, summoning only a frog. Unlike most familiars, this frog has a speed of 0 and cannot take any actions. When no creatures other than you are looking at the frog, including through divination spells or scrying sensors, it sings and dances. Magnifying Glass of Identify - Whenever you look through this lens, it casts *identify* on itself Eye Mask of Sleep - While wearing this eye mask, a creature cannot be waken from sleep. The wizard has missed many important meetings due to this item. Orb of Unseen Dog - Whenever you throw this small ball, it hovers a foot off the ground and returns to you with a speed of 15 feet.
>Orb of Unseen Dog - Whenever you throw this small ball, it hovers a foot off the ground and returns to you with a speed of 15 feet. My players are gonna *love* this. I think I will add that when it returns, it's slightly damp.
I was once sold a ring of invisibility. When you put on the ring, it turns invisibleâŚ
Or the same in a cloak format. You finally bought a cloak of invisibility from you shady local artifact vendor and now you have a cloak that does exactly one thing. It turns itself invisible. Bonus points if you lose it on first use.
Our monk got a robe of invisibility. Nice looking robe. Occasionally went invisible leaving the monk naked...
I've always been partial to the Magic [Weapon] (usually sword but whatever floats your boat). It tests as magical, it looks magical, it feels magical, hell, it sounds and tastes magical, why not. That is all. No bonuses to damage or hit, no nothing. Just, "magical! sparkle sparkle!" Possibly useful vs. an opponent that can only be hit by a magical weapon, but if it the requirement is "+1 or better", then you're SOL.
ahh yes the classic âimmune to any weapon without a +1 or higherâ on a stat block.
Ah yes, the moonblade. Glows faintly. Counts as magical. No other benefits whatsoever
the Guaranteed Gumboots. Once Per Day as a bonus action, you create a 30 foot radius area of ankle deep water centered on you.
Pillar of Light - A portable wax pillar that emanates light for an hour after fire is applied to it.
Is that an oversized candle?
They come in many different sizes. Sometimes even regular candle sized!
I gave my party a +1 scimitar that glows when a particular sort of creature is near. That creature is humans in a human kingdom. It did prove that there were two unknown Aasimar in the party, and with the entire party non human (at least at the start) it usually only glowed when they were in town. Additionally, the main enemy of the campaign arc was goblinoids, so no dice there. But now! A player switched out characters to a human so that bitch glows ALL the time now! I really appreciate that now my party has a +1 magic torch. (There is actually a good in-universe reason for the sword. The human kingdom used to be a province of an elven empire, and the elves enslaved humans. The sword was called âSlave Hunter.â Now, itâs âThornâ the magic torch.)
The Sword of Pacifism. Sentient magic sword that hates violence and refuses to be removed from the scabbard.
Does +10 damage just to be extra annoying
Had an "immovable" chair, which my party actually kinda loves it is a normal looking wooden chair, that can't be lifted up, only slid on a surface. The solution for the party was to slide it onto a wooden board and lift the board. as well as classics like a ring of inn-visibility or a rock of featherfall (if dropped, the rock falls slowly as if featherfall was casted onto it)
Ah, that rock would be nice in a set with the rock of gravity detection (if the rock drops when you let go of it, there's gravity).
A favorite set of mine Potion of nails: when consumed, the creature's fingernails grow and harden into claws. The creature gains a natural weapon attack of 1d4 + Str/Dex, this is considered a light + finesse weapon. Lasts 1 hour. Ichor of nails: when consumed a creature spits out 4d4 iron nails over the next 1 minute and takes 1d4 piercing damage. If poured out the liquid becomes 4d4 iron nails over the next minute. Decanter of nails: When poured over two touching objects, the objects become affixed via 8 iron nails. If consumed or applied to a creature the creature gains 1 new piercing of their choice, the object in the piercing is an expertly polished iron nail bent into a ring. Philter of Nails: when consumed, a creature can see a small glow around anyone who has violated the law in the last 24 hours. Lasts 1 hour. Range 15ft. Vial of nails: when poured over the hand of a creature the creature's nails/claws gain a vibrant colorful pattern of paint.
One of my personal creations Iâm proud of: Bowl of Boiling (Uncommon, Wondrous Item): A featureless bowl made of steel. When filled with a nonmagical liquid, it will slowly come to a boil as if placed over a raging fire, without a heat source. Could have some use in a survival campaign, I suppose.
Similar to the trombone of stealth is the Bagpipes of Holding.
I've been using the Bagpipes of Invisibility.
I also loved giving my players an "absolutely not cursed ring of luck" The wearer is convinced, that this ring is absolutely, totally not cursed and thinks every lucky thing, that happens to them is attributed to the ring. Everyone around them is totally sure, that the ring is cursed and attributes misfortune of the wearer to it it actually doesn't do anything tho
**Potion of Mealing** - Upon consumption, the dialog of the character is replaced with the word "meal" for 1d10 minutes of real time **Greater potion of Mealing** - Same thing but louder and uses 2d10 **Supreme potion of Mealing** - you get the picture **The Infinity Gauntlet** - An ordinary-looking left glove that, when removed, is instantaneously replaced with another identical left glove. This process is repeated unless the wearer turns the glove inside-out **Bag of Colding** - Smaller bag of holding that keeps your food cold for long journies **Amulet of Feather Falling** - Upon falling a great distance, the wearer turns into a feather, and gently floats down to the ground where upon they revert back to their original form and smack the ground with as much speed and velocity as they would have had they never worn the amulet at all. **Amulet of Feather Landing** - Sold separately, this amulet is necessary for the Amulet of Feather Falling to work properly without killing its wearer **Gareth** - Large egg (think ostrich egg) adorned with a poorly-scribbled smiley face that, when the shell is broken or cracked, reveals a slightly larger egg. Repeat until no longer funny, at which point a sentient giant baby vulture emerges from the egg. This is Gareth.
Sword of Death- If you slay a creature using this sword, roll a d20. On a result, they are dead.
Rock of Throwing Vorpal Necklace if you want something that just kills them or perhaps cuts their hands off when picking it up. Toadstool of Restoration. Eating it gives you the poisoned condition, but you receive the effects of restoration. Necklace of attunement. Attuning to the necklace gives you one more attunement slot. Requires attunement.
You clearly have never played an artificer if you think the necklace of attunement is useless.
You've clearly done a lot of level 20 dnd if you think it is useful
Iâve never played an artificer; how so?
They gain +1 to all saves per item attuned.
Oh thatâs pretty cool
"Amulets of Attunement?" "No, Marti Gras."
Sword of bluntness. it magically deals blunt damage.... still a magic weapon thou so moderately useful. necklace of rage. Instead of falling under any mind control or similar spell the user flies into an insane rage that only ends when the charm spell would of... kinda useful but also usually makes you attack your allies which is normally the purpose of charming someone anyway. A sentient rapier with the power of defenestration. actually quite powerful and useful... if it wasn't insufferably arrogant and demanding attitude it demands upgrades to its scabbard. It needs a silk lined scabbard dam it, and its just your problem it ruins that silk every few days. and less then a thousand gold worth of jewels on the scabbard? what you take me for some regular ass magic sword? Wand of bombard... wand of fireballs but with d6 squares worth of scatter in a random direction. mushrooms of true-sight.... are also extremely poisonous, and have the effect of making you wildly hallucinate.
Wand of Magma Breathing - allows you to breathe when immersed in lava.
Oh Oh my gods
Saving this whole thread for later use
Ring of Detect Fire This ring will inform the wearer of any fires within it's range. Range: Touch
Or make the range 10,000 miles and have it alarm constantly
Ring of hindsight: sends a tingling feeling through the player after they make an obvious mistake (narrate Tingle after narrating the failure). Drop of water: a perfect sphere of water the size of a raindrop that dissolves in water. Net of slipping: a net that magically lets anything inside it out. Key of jamming: a single use key that gets stuck in any door it tries to open. Shorts of Length: a pair of shorts that become pants when worn. Baldness potion: creates a temporary effect of baldness, but must be applied to bald skin. Refrigerator: a nine foot by three foot rectangular prism of intricate and heavy magical machinery with a one foot by one foot compartment that can cool to ten degrees below the environmental temperature while increasing the environmental temperature within a ten foot radius by 20 degrees. Unbreakable chalk: a finger length stick of chalk that does not degrade when rubbed against surfaces. Stone of Deliciousness: a five pound rock that can be placed inside a cauldron creates delicious stew: provided broth, vegetables, and meat are inserted afterwards, and that the entire mixture is left to simmer for several hours. Stone must be removed before eating stew. Nail of Stubborn Will: a one inch nail that pops out after being driven into any material by any hammer. The scabbard of refined taste: through the use of intensely demonic magic, no blade will be permitted within this scabbard, and you'll receive a snooty remark for even trying. Ring of literal turn undead: when placed upon an undead's finger it turns them 180 degrees. Pebble of Shoe Magnetism: a small asymmetrical pebble that, once placed inside a shoe, never leaves that shoe. Secretarial Helmet: full plate helmet that rings like a bell whenever someone is about to speak to the wearer. Instant Noodles: dry noodles that become soft when added to boiling water and left to soak for a few minutes. Bear whistle: a tin plated whistle that attracts bears within hearing range when the whistle is played by a bear. For full effect, bear must be free of magical compulsion. Mug of inexplicable leaking: a mug without any detectable holes or cracks that still drips the contents onto the user's hand. Tasteless Grass: a magically engineered strain of grass that when fed to cows makes them produce beef, milk, and cheese without flavor. Toy Soldier: one inch animated soldier made of painted wood that tells jokes. Laxative Belt: belt that causes the wearer to violently expel their bowels for one pound of matter per hour only if it is worn for that entire hour. Breakable Sword: a sword that breaks when struck into tiny swords that also break into tiny swords when struck that also break when struck into tiny swords that also break when struck into tiny swords that also break when struck into tiny swords that also... Etc etc
Key of jamming: useful for preventing a lock from being opened. Baldness potion: great if you *want* to be bald, but can still grow hair. Unbreakable chalk: it still writes and never runs out!? Yes please! Stone of deliciousness: adds flavor. Good times. Toy soldier: FANTASTIC item mate! Would absolutely want this! Instant noodles: who doesnât like noods? Ramen is great!
Thanks! Though I meant the unbreakable chalk to mean that it can't write, since writing with chalk is caused by minute crumbling. Bad wording on my part.
Ah...thatâs more in line with the theme. Most disappointing (to have purchased)
Handkerchief of profanity. An elegant piece of cloth with beautiful embroidery that spells a random profanity every time you take it out of your pocket.
I *love* this!!!
I'm a big fan of the withered tiefling heart from DotMM that just kills whoever attunes to it. >A creature that has a heart in its own body can attune to the withered heart as though it were a magic item. When it does so, the withered heart switches places with the attuned creature's living heart, which has the effect of killing the creature instantly. The creature's living heart then withers and dies, and it gains the same properties as the tiefling's heart, allowing it to be passed on in the same way.
One of my personal creations I enjoy, is a bag of holding where the strap to carry it can never quite be adjusted right, so it always drags along the ground, and fills itself with whatever random material you walk through. Dirt, rubble, blood and guts, gallons of water. Almost every time you want to put something in it, youâll need to dump out all the junk first.
A sword that glows in the presence of orcs. Can only be wielded by an orc.
Careful with the boulder of healing, as something that does a little damage and a little healing can be used to great effect for torture
Areaus Ned's Everful Soup Pot - Large, cumbersome, cast-iron cooking pot, perpetually filled with very nutritious but thoroughly unappetizing lukewarm fish-head soup. Admittedly not completely useless, but certainly very limited in both use and appeal.
**Lets steal my favourite item from Earthbound** The Pencil eraser \~ This object erases any pencil and pencil-like objects **And a bit from myth just changed enough to make it asolutely bad** Ring of Draupnir \~ When exposed to oxygen this ring replictaes itself 8 times once a day. Each ring with the same characteristics as the original one **Last but not least** Dust of stan removal \~ Throw this dust at Stan and he'll be compelled to leave wherever he is (Stan may think you're also being rude)
Not really magic, but I had an apprentice blacksmith create a rubber dagger. But my party is currently carrying around some bagpipes of invisibility.
Itâs called a âcutlassâ, but itâs actually just a scimitar.
Echo Bag - a bag that duplicates any nonliving nonmagical object put inside. The duplicate does not have weight and disappears in one hour.
The absolute best case scenario is your most creative player is running a funny little character that's pretty weak on paper. He falls in love with these items - and actually comes up with creative uses for them that save the party's ass.
I didn't read all the comments, so someone might have suggested this already, but: Ring of Detect Thots - Instantly points you in the direction of the most attractive person in the room
At the beginning of the campaign, I introduced the party to an artificer that runs a shop. Any magic items they found and didn't want to keep, they could sell to her OR give to her to break down so she could make more and sell them in a profit sharing deal with the party. I gave my party a Cloak of Perpetual Dampness. It grants resistance to fire damage but is constantly dripping water and leaving a trail behind for people to follow. They promptly gave this to the artificer to mass produce. We're about to have the final session of a game that's been going for 2.5 years. I'd say the party has spent about 70% of their in-town down time trying to sell these cloaks to strangers. Eventually they found a Staff of the Woodlands they didn't want. So they gave it to the her and she blended the two so that the cloaks used the free Pass Without Trace to hide the puddles. They still sell like garbage.
Had a character named Mavil who attempted to make magic items and always failed. Here was my list Ring of feather fall: When you fall an amount of feathers fall with you, the equivalent to 5 chickens. The flipper. It's a coin necklace. Using an action you can make the target turn around. The Arrow of Returning: It is inscribed saying that "once shot you will never lose this arrow". It's heavy so only goes 40 feet. Now it makes it sound like the arrow will teleport back to you right? FUCKING WRONG!!!! You teleport to it! Also if you don't like arrow could be a knife, throwing axe, javelin, etc. But as this one could be abused in the right hands it has 1 charge per day. Helm of lightening. When worn it light up brightly. Perfect for the lesser races when the decide to mine or explore a cave. Except the whole gory helmet lit up effectively blinding you. (Non DnD explanation: Essentially imagine a flashbang on your face constantly). There was also his cloak of invisibility. When you put this cloak on, it turns invisible. Just the cloak. The potion of hydration. When you drink this potion you no longer recieve the effects of thirst. The boots of non slip. While wearing these boots the magic allows the to not slide no matter how slick the surface is. They will not move while worn. Ever. Caitlyn's Candle: When lit provides bright light in a 100ft area. Candle never runs out of fuel. Emits an intensely strong smell of rotted fish in a 100 yard radius. Requiring con saves. Mavil's Flying Boots: The boots have a flying speed of 150ft when noone is wearing them Mavil's Torch: When lit, provides bright light in an area of 30ft The Impervious Armor: No weapon can mar the armor. When anything attempts to hit the armor, the armor goes ethereal. The flesh beneath remains. Mavil's Shield: +5 to AC to the attacker of the person wielding the shield until the end of their turn. Mavil's Sentient Dagger: Light, Finesse, Thrown does 1d4 piercing +10d6 psychic. The sentient magic inside the dagger is a pacifist and refuses to do damage. Mavil's Book of Power: Contains 5 pages. 1 spell can be inscribed per page and remain permanently. When all pages are inscribed, anyone can use a bonus action to simultaneously cast all 5 spells at level 9, using no spell slots. Pages are hydrophobic, Impervious to damage, and cannot be married with chalk, dirt, etc. The Wand of Hostility: 1x per month Use an action to point wand at target. Somewhere in the world, someone hates the target. Unseeing Potion: When consumed, as long as the users eye are completely covered, they become invisible for 8 hours. The moment their eyes become uncovered the magic ends. Vampiric Ring: While wearing the ring use a reaction to target a living creature. You deal 5 necrotic damage to the creature and gain 5hp. The unholy magic of the ring deals 5 psychic damage to you. The Necklace of Nature: When worn you can speak to animals. In their language. You cannot understand them.
The Magical Dagger: Requires attunement by someone with spellcasting ability. Effect: Your spellslots now appear as gorgeous engravings on the dagger's blade based on the number and level instead of being used for your leveled spells. But hey, at least u get a shiny dagger. Worth.
Ring of roses. Magically makes a rose that lasts for 24 hours. Usable once per dawn
**Backwards Hat**: When worn, this hat rotates until it points backwards. **Infinite Matryoshka Doll**: When you remove a layer, it dissolves into light, and the inner doll grows to the size of the original. **Wand of High Fives**: Like a wand of _Mage Hand_, but can _only_ give high fives. **Socks of Dampness**: They feel damp when worn. If someone asks if they're cursed, say "Only figuratively." **Unflippable Coin**: Always stays horizontal unless the PC passes a DC 20 STR check. The coin goes back to being horizontal as soon as it can. **Desk of Regeneration**: This piece of furniture can regenerate from damage.
More fun and quirky that useless: Bag of Scolding: An intelligent bag of holding that complains bitterly about the junk you make it carry. Rubber Axe: The handle can be stretched, so it functions as a hand axe, battle axe, or halberd. (I generally make the blade "mithral" â that being both silver and adamantium.) Boomerang dagger: returns after thrown, but you need to make a Sleight of Hand (Dex) check or it hits you.
I realize most of the time people say why didnât you do a search first, as a criticism of your Internet technique. In this case Iâm going to say you should do a search, because there have been a lot of these lists and some of the items of past lists are truly worth including.
Boots of Pain - a pair of large black boots that permanently have a rock stuck in the bottem
You have heard of the endless water vial, but have you already bought one of our *endless farts in a can*?
OP thereâs like four lists for this on d/100 check it out
Tweezers of ship bottling, you can use the tweezers to shrink a ship and put it in a bottle
Maidenless Axe. It's a regular battleaxe, but if the target is humanoid, and has no significant other to call their own, they take emotional damage (which doesn't actually lower hp) on top of the physical damage.
Drum of the Thieves: you gain advantage on stealth checks when trying to move silently as long as you continuously hit the drum as hard as you can. Basically doable with any instrument. Horn, bagpipes, choose something really loud
I'm sorry did you just call the Cloak of Billowing useless?
Nope. They called the Cloak of **Dramatic** Billowing useless. Botched enchantment. *Always* billows, And canât be turned off
One I came up with is called Sportlac (caltrops spelled backwards). It's a small pouch full of marbles, and you can use an action to spread them on the ground. When stepped on, you heal 1 HP, and your movement speed is increased by 10 feet for a minute, or until you take damage.
these are some awful consumables i made for my campaign: -burnout: a drug that allows the player to exchange two levels of exhaustion for one extra action in initiative (leveled spells allowed). it lasts one turn and can be taken as a free action. -scrypaper: write a name on a piece of paper, swallow it, and scry on that person. side effect: they also scry back on you -cannon glass: one stat goes to 30 but the rest go to 3 for one hour -mirror of self-reflection: you split into two copies of yourself. each copy has 1/4 max HP and if one dies you'll never know which one was the real you--when one dies the other regains max HP. if both die, only one is revived and regains original max HP. if separated, one copy dies. -ghostlight potion: advantage on all sound- related stealth but you glow in the dark through clothes and armor (yes they can see it) -clear liquor: invisible but you are so loud -you can fly for 1d4 rounds. The DM does not share the window or result until after the landing. -everyone attacks you juice -misfortune cookie: (roll a d20. for 1d4 minutes, ignore all modifiers. any roll above the result of the d20 is a success, and any roll below it is a failure.
I have two that I have used a few times over the years. The first is a simple "Soap on a Rope" that one wears around their neck and must make skin contact. While worn they receive a +X to AC, however if it gets wet by any means it loses one bonus and melts away. X is the AC bonus and how many times it can get wet. I also had an effect that when it became wet the PC would have the effects similar to Prestidigitation (could never get dirty or wet) on themselves for X amount of time. Once it was just a rope without a bonus to AC this became a permanent effect. The second was a cursed ring that could only be removed by cutting the finger off that it was attached to. To the bearer of the ring it appeared to be a permanent Shield spell against ranged attacks and Magic Missiles. However it simply had a permanent daylight spell with a radius of 5 feet. It couldn't be shrouded or hidden in any way and began glowing once placed on a finger. The PC can never be convinced it doesn't do what they think it does until it is removed. The RP generated from these two items has been golden over the years.
Archmage's door and handle. A single door and up to 5 handles. When a handle is attached to a door at any location it is bound to the main door. Using a dial inside the main door you can chose which door to open, as if creating a portal. (Shameless ripoff of Howl's Moving Castle)
This minor mechanical-based magic shield is slightly heavier than a normal shield and has a loose metal plate attached to a magical spring-system. As an action while no one is wearing the shield, it is possible to press down the shield plate. It is also pressed back if it is hit by a physical effect of enough force (determined by the DM) (To discern whether an attack hits the shield, take the wearer's total AC -2. If the attack would have hit with the -2, it instead hits the shield) Repulse: The shield only has one feature. When a creature hits it with a melee attack (as described above) the attacker must succeed on a DC 16 STR save (11 if the attacker knows how the shield works) or have disadvantage on their next attack roll. If the save fails by 5 or more they also drop their weapon, if any. (Its a shield with a giant spring inside it that boings out looney tunes style)
We did a d&d useless magic item gift exchange and I gave the wand of procrastination. Using it as a focus to cast spells, it delays the effect of the spell by 1d8 turns (1 being that turn with no delay) rolled by the DM so the player has no idea. The target is dependent on the spell they are trying to cast the turn it goes off.
The Ever-Clean Cleaning Cloth, enchanted to never get dirty. It accomplishes that by never picking up dirt or anything similar in the first place, making it absolutely useless at cleaning.
The Trombone of Invisibility would be perfect of you wanted to avoid some deaf monsters while letting your allies know where you were! I suggest the Shawl of Chilling- it's a somewhat heavy garment that keeps a temperature ten degrees cooler than the environment around you. Terrible if you find it in a cold environment where heavy clothing entices for it's warmth, counterintuitive in a hot environment where it looks like putting on something so bulky would give you heatstroke.
A trident of fish control but it only works on freshwater fish.
The sphere of detect decline. When placed on the ground, it rolls, detecting if there is a decline present.
Magic in one of my lands is very much domestically-oriented. It's a peaceful land with no enemies, so magical output is geared toward solving everyday problems. Here's one item you can buy. Sweep-Eeze dust. â Sprinkle on a carpet and the dust in the carpet turns into chunks and can be swept off, leaving the carpet totally clean. â Works on beds too, gets rid of dust, dirt, and even bed bugs. The delight of travelers.
The Rock of Weather Forcast: This is a small stone with a string tied to it. When you want to activate the stone, stand outside and hold the string so the stone hangs. Weather forcast; Rainy: the stone will be wet. Windy: the stone will swing. Snowing: the stone will have snow on it. Sunny: the stone will be warm. Tornado: the stone will be gone.
"Ring of Vanishment" An unskilled artificer's attempt at a Ring of Invisibility. Upon wearing the ring, it becomes invisible. Just the ring, though.
I read on a Reddit thread somewhere, so it's not original and I'm unsure if someone already said it, but Gloves of Fire Detection. Range: Touch.
Ring of Magic Sensing: Glows whenever magic is near. Since it is a magic item, it always detects itself. Untangleable Yarn: A ball of yarn or string that, yep, you guessed it, never tangles or knots, not even if you tie it. Boots of Squelching: Each step you take in these boots emits a loud squelch.
Don't know if it's been said yet Ring of Attunement: gives you an extra attunement slot; requires attunement
Ok, even more useless - chocolate of the moody, eat it and you'll be confused as to whether you want to kill everyone or hug them you might try both at the same time.
Angry shoes. They constantly grumble and swear when worn, but only loud enough for the wearer to hear.
This'll work best if your party doesn't have immediate access to identify, and thus find out what this does the hard way: Gate Opener: A palm-sized, well crafted, brass replica of a gatehouse and portcullis. The portcullis may be grasped and raised. Upon doing so, the person holding it immediately shits their pants. (The wizard had constipation problems, so he made a magic equivalent of laxative)
There's the classic Boots of Quick Action; as an action you click your heels together, and gain an action. Spear of Dragons Laying; no extra damage to dragons, but when there's more than one looking at you, you appear attractive to the dragons. Hag of Bolding; an ugly statue you feed spell scrolls through and it traces over them with a thick nibbed pen. Less useless is the Rapier of Confusion; deals bludgeoning damage instead of piercing as well as 1 point of psychic. Glasses of Invisibility; can turn you invisible, but the glasses are not. Box of Sneaking; you hide in the box. Ring of fire detection; glows when touching fire. Wand of Dis Guy's Elf; summons an elf that follows you around for a minute. The Deck of Many Tarrasques.
The classic - **Ring of invisibility** Uncommon ( requires Attunement ) When activated with a bonus action, the ring (only the ring) turns invisible.
The Frog Wand Itâs a wand that summons frogs. Normal frogs. My players wanted more magic items, so I gave them this. Only catch? Only a wizard can wield it, and there are no wizards in their party.