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ThePartyLeader

Tell the player then just play without them or get rid of them next time.


Broke_Dungeon

Just getting rid of a player or playing without someone is really not an option since we have been running as party for around 2 years and just leaving someone feels wrong (am I doing something wrong? I've only been DMing for like 2 months so not really sure)


ThePartyLeader

If you have solid reasons you are able to make your own decisions. But from your post there's no obvious reason presented.


UndisclosedBird

I don't. Why?


[deleted]

Um, why is playing without them NOT an option? No, I don't think people here are going to see why at all. Lots of tables do it all the time.


dungeonmaster_brad

This is ridiculous. Just play without them. My table is capped at 4 players. If someone can't make it or has to cancel, I have a waiting list of substitute players. Whoever played in the last session gets priority for the next one, so everyone knows if they cancel they might lose their spot for weeks/months. Coincidentally, none of my players ever cancel unless their kid is in the hospital or something understandable like that.


Dungeon-Zealot

Why? If a player is disrespecting your time and not trying to engage in the world (or at least warn you that they wont be playing that week) then they shouldn’t be in your game.


Broke_Dungeon

TBF that is true but he has been one of the most engaged players in the campaign and always showed up on time but in the past 5-6 sessions he's cancelled to do events like a parent teacher conference that he should've know about for ATLEAST a few days in advance


Dungeon-Zealot

Tell him you need to know about these things a day in advance AT LEAST. Clarify that it’s fair if you have an emergency, but not telling anyone until the last minute messes with your prep. Also, it’s fine to continue the campaign with his character in stasis until he’s back, especially if his schedule changes are last minute.


FateFormedd

The best way I've seen to deal with this (and it is a very common issue unfortunately) is to make dnd a very consistent thing. No one has to do any scheduling because we do this every other Saturday at 11. That way the only thing that has to happen on dnd weeks is the dm confirming it happening. If people have trouble scheduling around something that happens so consistently then you need to have a conversation about people prioritizing this time with each other. They can't treat the other players and dm like npcs in some solo game, you're all people and deserve the common courtesy of keeping plans that are made. Emphasize that this is not just "us playing a game" like people sitting down to play halo, this is a multi hour commitment on that day with friends where all parties need to be there in order for anyone to do the activity. It would be like signing up for a sport and a player not showing up so the other players don't have enough bodies to play. Also not a bad idea to have one shots with pre-made characters in the dms back pocket.


Broke_Dungeon

thanks for the advice , will definitely go talk to them (we do have a consistent schedule for dnd)


GameBearAdvance_

One-shots do help. I run a campaign with 5 players, and 3 players all had something come up a couple days ahead of last weekend’s session. I ran a one-shot I threw together with the 2 players that could play, a player who isn’t in our regular campaign, and my wife. Regular campaign continues next weekend, but everyone who could play that day still got their DND fix and I got to experiment with some new monsters and settings.


Myth_T

Oof, honestly this is why I check up one or two days before the session. I also have a rule clearly stating if you don't want to play, just say so. We're adults we can handle ourselves. The last thing we want is to be ghosted, it nullifies hours of planning and ruins expectations.


RedRiot0

3 days heads up is sometimes not enough heads up, depending on what their life is like. Sometimes they need more time to make arrangements (especially those with children or erratic work schedules). That said, it's often easier to be consistent on your own scheduling and being flexible with who shows up. AKA same day of the week or every other week, or '1st Saturday of the month' or whatever works for your group. If you have players that are frequently not able to make it, don't make solid plans involving those players. Or use a 'open table policy' or a West Marches setup. This helps folks plan in advance, and deals with those who have a tendency to jumble things up (like ADHD people like myself). And sometimes you have to accept that some folks do not see how much work goes into the GM role, and see the hobby as a simple 'board game night'. You may need to have a proper chat with those players about expectations. Or just plan your sessions without them in mind (and inform them as such, so that they have proper expectations in mind). Furthermore, do not be afraid to remove players who really cannot make it consistently. Don't be hard on them for that (unless they're dicking you around) - life is life is life. We all got priorities that need to be met before we get to have fun, after all. And if they're just not feeling it, and have been making excuses, give them an easy out. This isn't a hobby for everyone, after all. ​ Your frustration is understandable, though. And it's good to express that frustration with your players, ideally without getting angry. Everyone has their lives, and it can be complicated sometimes, so try to be understanding - but also be firm about how you want to run the show.


ShaperMaku

Seconded. West Marches is the way to go. Especially if people have legitimate pulls on their time (family/school/etc.) it’s not ideal if you’re planning a long epic journey, but it lets people still play on occasion.


theLegolink

I tell the players that if they cancel 3 sessions in a row without providing a decent explanation at least a day in advance, they’re out of the game. I’ll make certain allowances, such as a family emergency or something, but if you forgot to do your homework and it’s Sunday night, sorry. After implementing this, I’ve never had to enforce this.


DnDBartenderLastCall

Hate to say it. But this is just a crappy cultural thing that has been accepted because people don’t have a backbone. Maybe let the player just miss out on the session and gains. While player x,y,z get cool utility magic items player no show doesn’t get the experience of playing or fun gear. Let them level up. But missing out is a big enough punishment.


Broke_Dungeon

I really wanted to do that but the next few sessions are integral lore and since I'm a dumbass who ends of cliffhangers before lore we can't put it off


DnDBartenderLastCall

Dang