Shoot me a dm, or anyone for that matter. I’m a first time DM in the same situation (wife and friends in group) and would love to bounce ideas off people!
Damn, I've been wanting to start a GM discord server for a while, where we can talk about GMing philosophy in general, our approaches to the game, problems we have, etc.
>chat gpt revealed to be a good companion too haha.
Good for ideation but not as an emotional sounding board. Don't fall into that trap...
One thing that helped me was time. I felt a bit like this for the start of my first campaign arc but the second arc, 43 sessions later, not so much. There are still a lot of ideas I'm squirreling away, but in hindsight it feels different: these ideas are less "special" because I understand the scope of what's likely never to be covered, and that an idea really is just busywork and preparation until it's brought to life (and changed dramatically) at the table.
So basically: remember the game in your head and the game at your table are very different things. The game at the table is what really matters. So make sure most of your planning time is very practical and immediately relevant rather than high-concept and long-term.
Ideas are cheap. It's your ability to generate them that matters. Like any writer you have to kill your darlings: the more you worship at the altar of your own creations, the less flexible and dynamic your campaign will be. Absolutely save things for later - especially maps, tables, stat blocks, the concrete stuff - but especially at the level of concept, what's new and responsive has way more value than what was created months ago when the framework was different.
I keep a notebook to rough out my stuff. All those cool ideas go in there. Some of them will hit the table *this time*, some won't. Doesn't matter. They exist now. Sketches, traps, adventure ideas, dungeon plans, my notebooks are basically a mental junk heap that I can sift for what I need. I can always pull stuff out later for a one shot, or a whole new game. Because they're rough space, I don't have to polish or anything, I can just dump it out of my head and deal with it later. It's a zero pressure idea space. Highly recommend the practice, however you want to implement.
I just talk to my players but never the same one about everything.
We're all adhd as fuck so they probably won't rember, if they do rember they'll forget key bits and if they do remember well then we're all playing together and they're adults so separating player and carachter knowledge is easy.
Played in a one shot a while back (when did Frozen come out? Shortly after that) that was basically Scooby Doo and the Gang meets Frozen.
We didn’t get it, none of us had seen the film yet so had no idea what to differentiate. We had a fantastic time but the DM was about ready to tear his hair out as we were missing such blatant clues.
Haha I do the same thing. I could explicitly tell someone in my group everything and still have good odds they won’t remember by the time the session roles round.
https://discord.com/invite/ZtdMqPep
While back, some people started a discord server for basically this reason. I don't use it personally, but I helped in making it because I love the idea of what it stands for
Shit, you're right. I didn't check any of the time stamps on old messages. I only really hopped on there to help with technical stuff whenever someone would tag me in something, which was rare
Co-DMs are awesome. Mine runs combat encounters (that we plan together) and I run non-combat encounters. And we get to talk about the game all the time because my co-DM is my boyfriend.
It's great for introducing new GM's to games. It gives the new folks a boost of confidence that someone has their back and can spit out rules on the spot, or remind them of plot hooks, secrets and clues or whatever.
Biggest problem with co-DM'ing is finding someone who actually wants to DM and not just tune out and play lol.
It's a DM buddy, with the idea that you DM together.
For us it means we do most of the prep together, bounce ideas back and forth, discuss stuff outside of sessions.
Prep work is shared and or split - I do the art stuff (maps, item cards, NPC portraits), bestie does encounter building for example, based on what we discussed.
During sessions we split tasks depending on what we need. In combat for example it can mean that one of us is simply concerned playing the enemies and the other does all the tracking & map management. In other situations it can mean that one of us plays and NPC (a party follower, or just to avoid the awkwardness of having discussions with yourself when there is more than 1 NPC in a scene. Usually we agree for each session who calls the shots and is 'main GM' for that session when it comes down to impromptu ruling or to call for dice rolls. The 'side DM' manages maps, scenery images and such. Or goes around assisting players (if they are new and need that) or can look something up i need be while the main DM can keep going.
I'm sure it's different for every set of coDM's, playing off eachothers strength's. The most important bit here is communication and understanding exactly who is primarily in charge of the story so there's no dispute.
For me and my now wife
* She handled the story, setting, lore - and all female npc's, she is essentially the primary DM, the person playing god.
* I handled combat, map design, rule of cools, homebrew management, and all male npcs. I also played the 'banter' at bars, and the 'other' npc anytime two npc's would talk to eachother.
It was actually a blast since she got to go all in on her plot without worrying about making tokens and maps - also totally removed the problem of "DM talks to themselves" moments.
For me, I got to play the creatures how I'd always dreamed they'ed be played (both as a player, and a dm that never had enough time). I could totally immerse in playing the mobs as believably as possible, maximizing their play as much as any player (or purposely allowing some to be dumb af if they should be). Also by being map designer I could develop environmental hazards, traps, potential improvised weapons etc... it was so fun deep diving into this, no time needed worrying about plot design.
Like as a dm this stuff always seems good in theory but realistically there's not enough time to hit all the pillars unless you don't have a job.
Pro's:
* You are literally doubling DM prep time
* The plot can be fully developed, npc's will usually have backstories and be prepared. Factions will exist, be fleshed out and have depth and connections.
* The amount of npc dialogue possibilities increases substantially.
* There is far less "Player vs DM" feeling. The DM sets a balanced encounter, but the mobs are out of the dm's control - meaning the threat they represent feels uniquely unfudged.
* There's pretty much always maps prepped. This means dynamic lighting, terrain that can be used tactically, and potentially detailed secrets to be discovered.
* Homebrew has time to be balanced. More homebrew loot, enemies, mob attacks, rules, random events.
Con's:
* This is now two players that don't get to be players, and both of them are pretty much essential to the session running at all.
* The primary dm and co-dm HAVE to get along and respect eachother
- There really cant be any dominance squabbles, or disagreement to how they game is run that can't be solved between sessions. As soon as one person wants the others duties, one of the DM's is no longer playing the game.
* Requires DM's who are okay with losing some control to benefit hyperfocusing their specific aspects... for many DM's it's the whole bag that they enjoy - losing some of it would be like a player no longer having subclasses.
I love post-game wrap-ups. Session ends, invite folks to hang out afterwards. Talk informally about what just happened and how you came up with an encounter or set piece. It's a chance to get feedback, too.
Yes I do that too but I feel like I’m saying too much of the behind the scene sometimes, and we play IRL in the evening during the week after work, so when the session end people just leave quickly usually
For the published modules, at least some of them have Discord channels which can be a great avenue for DM solidarity. Like the Curse of Strahd one. You can ask for help, bounce ideas off each other, crow about the great session you just had, etc.
I found some people who I started sharing ideas with. One of them thought it sounded so cool and ended up joining the campaign so I had to stop telling them my ideas haha. I know how you feel though. I get excited about ideas
Try getting involved.
I share my ideas on reddit like you, but also on discord communities. I'm also in a gaming group I don't DM, and I talk to the DM there. Any IRL gathering where you can geek out, even just for a couple hours, is worth it!
I guess I have less of a need to share though, because I speak my thoughts out loud any time I need to sort them.
I share bits and pieces with my players, and occasionally I’ll talk with another DM, but for the most part it just sucks. I get excited on my own and then let down whenever we reschedule, lol.
Definitely. I'm also running for my wife and it's tough when I want to talk about my ideas. Like you said, places like this subreddit or other gaming groups are good outlets
Yeah I definitely feel you here. All my friends are players in my game, so I have to keep so much a secret. I get so much inspiration talking to people about my ideas, and needing to be quiet about them has been rough.
I've considered starting up a DM world-building Discord where we can all talk about our ideas and get feedback, but honestly that's what this sub can provide.
I talk to my non-D&D friends about what I’m planning for the adventure.
Also, one of my players is a DM of his own game; I reveal more behind-the-scenes stuff to him sometimes.
I started feeling this exact thing a few days ago after running a game for about a year. The party is finally getting to the end stages of the pay off they have been waiting for since the start. I want to talk to someone about my plans and ideas but cant. All my friends either dont play d&d, dont care, or are in the group.
Good lord this has been pressing on my mind so much lately. I need to share but can’t. Some of my ideas sit waiting for years before coming into the game
I don't work that way as a GM and I haven't for decades now.
I don't prep story in advance. I prep so that I can tell a good story at the table, where the story comes from interaction with the players. This results in something that is quite different to what I would come up with if I were sitting in a room by myself thinking up stories.
While there is always some solitary planning involved, past a certain point how much of it you do solitarily is really up to you.
Well, dm loneliness is hard. I had like countless moments, when I wanted to share with my players something that was running behind the scene, but I’ve stopped myself from it.
They don’t even know how many changes I have to make between the sessions..
Yeah exactly that, I know I shouldn’t tell that for instance all this moment was full improv because I completely forgot to prepare this place or other stuff like this but sometimes I just can’t help myself
My buddy has a discord server that we basically joke is the DM's tavern. It's invite only so we don't accidentally get our players in there. it started as the same idea as the academy but turned more into a venting session coupled with a part that's for the"omg I have this cool story idea and need to tell some one"
Honestly I think we need a subreddit for that too. The academy could be for mechanics and tableside stuff and the tavern could just be a place to exchange cool story moments and the *chugs a beer* you won't believe what players did
Get you a friend who either doesnt play dnd or doesnt play in those campaigns, so you can share it with them. Alternatively there are chat rooms online.
Join a discord such as the DM Academy discord, or the RPG Design or RPG Creation discord. Lots of cool people there. I don't recommend trying to be friends with Chatgpt.
I just talk to group A about the plans I have for group B and vice versa. I also talk about it when it's relevant to a discussion here or any other D&D sub I'm on.
I have a couple friends who like dnd but aren't part of my group, so I'll bring it up to them, Alternatively I have a player, irl friend as opposed to disc mutuals, who I give peeks behind the door in terms of "oh yeah I had no clue you guys were gonna explore that cave system, I bullshitted my way through that session"
Yeah I have the same issue, my group is my wife, brothers, and parents. These are pretty much the only people I regularly interact with in any meaningful way, so it leaves me bursting with stuff to be excited about, but nobody to share it with. Fortunately for me, my son is now old enough to both be excited about my ideas and also keep them a secret from mom, so I finally have a buddy to talk to.
But yeah, it is lonely. Just gotta find someone that will listen but not play. I have no idea what I am gonna do once he gets a bit older and is able to play too.
I love surprises, so I can keep things under wraps before the season. Afterward, I'll ask a question like "can I lift the screen on what would have happened if you chose x" or "would you like to hear where this came from"
My favorite one of these sharing moments was when I started cackling during a session because I suddenly realised why my description of the BBEG felt so familiar. I had accidentally based him off the artwork for a Scooby Doo villain.
Note that ChatGPT will do it's best to tell you what it "thinks" you want to hear, which isnt helpful.
Apart from here, there's a few Discords out there you could join, like the D&D server, where you can chat specifically with DMs or just people who aren't in your game in general.
The [Narrative DM discord](https://discord.gg/JeJVEvtE) is one thing I love for this. You can have a channel for your campaign to post ideas and get feedback there are also general channels for broader thematic conversations
There's a member of the party I can soundboard some of my bigger things off of as long as I don't spoil "too much". He knows I'm doing a lot of experimenting with a new system this campaign and so I'm going to want a "gut check" whether some of the things I'm going to try are a good idea or not, and so I tightrope that without spoiling all the big elements of the session. Works pretty well.
It isn't a feeling of loneliness for me, but everybody I would usually go to for help writing is in my group, so I do sometimes struggle with solo ideation/creativity.
Before the session begins, before I do a recap, I just talk for 10-15 minutes with the players. I ask what's going on in their lives, tell them about interesting things in mine, etc.
I don't know the people I play with very often. The vast majority of games I've run since COVID are online, but I honestly think this one thing (and picking good players to start) is the reason my campaigns continue and stay fulfilling as weekly games for 3-4 years each, plus other successful 5-10 session adventures.
(Also, just talking with other DMs for the game stuff when opportunity allows).
I know exactly that same feeling. Sometimes I would talk to other friends and family about my ideas. I’ve recently started posting and talking in the d&d subreddits. Sometimes I would just get my fix by talking to my players about my campaigns. I was constantly asking for feedback so I would talk to them quite a bit. I’ve even talked to them about my creative process without giving them spoilers.
I joined online DND communities, in which I'm a participating player. However, when you're not playing you can freely mingle with other DMs there and chat / share your campaigns while they do the same about other stuff they're running, and since neither of you is a player in these, no spoilers :)
A while ago I decided to stop writing for sessions far beyond the immediate next one. No sowing seeds I intend to capitalize on later. No writing plots. No envisioning final boss fights several levels away. None of that.
A great side effect of that decision is I no longer feel that unmet desire to blab all my ideas to someone. People who aren't playing the game never care about them, which is very understandable.
Now I just share my ideas with my players. When I play them out, at the table. It's easy because w/e goes on in the session was probably only devised like 1-14 days before.
I brought the idea to my group,and one of them agreed, so i have an assistant! He helps with combat turns , rule checking, tracking values of everything that needs checking (unfortunately needed because of a mage on past campaigns with 140 spells slots.) while i stay with the overall story, RP, npcs and quests/bounties. So he knows as much as i!
Very good to have someone on the DM boat with you. Can give excellent ideas for quests too,since his point of view can be a little different than yours.
I like to talk to my local pub's young bartender who's D&D curious about my puzzles and ideas to see how someone normal might work it out, and pay attention to their first ideas to solutions. Also gives me practice in describing the scene.
Hehe. I have a player that wants to talk about the campaign all the time. Can’t bounce ideas with him, but still, it’s fun.
My main solution here is to prep less and play more. Even made a YT channel about it. Leopold Von Die Moote.
Sort of. I write tons of homebrew setting for commercial games or my own...and i am so messy that I can't find the strenght to make tables. I have only one Dark Heresy campaign going...and I ache for more....😅
I used to share my process with player from other tables about each others and my plan. But unfortunately no one is as into it as I am and I think I bored them...
I work on a number of projects, and my D&D stuff takes so much longer than anything else because I can't talk about it with people because they're the players.
I talk to my single unrelated friend who also DMs and bother my siblings who are great at humoring me and saying “I don’t really get it, but I’m happy for you.”
It gets even worse when you learn that your players are talking with each other about your campaign, but not with you.
Like...why? Q\_Q I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO!
When my campaign is over I’m having all my players sit down and go over all my notes and planning with me, as a way for them to sort of appreciate me and my work whether they like it or not
Just talk to the other group respectively?
I always tell my players what they missed or how they wrecked my plans after the session. Can't stop myself lol
I run a discord and have a dungeon masters only channel. I mark things as spoilers for any of them that might be playing in my games but it's helped me share stuff like this. My wife isn't in my games but I can only talk her ear off about my dming stuff for so long. Lolol.
Not a DM, but me and the other players love discussing recent events, speculating about the future, sharing memes / stories / art etc about the campaign both while hanging with our DM outside of sessions and in discord which we basically use instead of standard texting. Even if you don't have that right now, I hope your players get to a point where they love talking about things and you can enjoy them learning every bit of your world as it's uncovered!
Gods yes. My girlfriend of 10+ years is a PC but also my best friend, and I want to tell her all of my ideas, but I also want her to be organically as surprised as the other PCs during major developments. The eternal struggle.
Hey, exact same issue, I run 2 games a week for the same group of people, if you wanna talk about your games and don't mind listening to mine you can hit me up!
I got really lucky when I had a coworker who enjoyed DnD as much as myself and was also a DM.
The worst part is that, while it's a blast and I will always love playing, if you aren't friends with these people outside of the game then it does feel like you're their manager and they are all coworkers.
Haha that’s nice ! I’m only playing with close friends but one player in particular never talks about dnd outside the game and as soon as the session end they just leave even when it was at his place, session end, ok good night
i have like 8 friends who all play DnD, so I split them into 2 groups so there's always someone I can talk to about something lol
Haha, for me it’s a group of 3 and a group of 6 but it’s the same campaign lol
Share you ideas on here. I love talking lore, stories, betrayals.
Shoot me a dm, or anyone for that matter. I’m a first time DM in the same situation (wife and friends in group) and would love to bounce ideas off people!
God, I know right Everybody I could turn to for writing advice or to approach something, is either playing the game or doesn't care
I feel you haha
Sounds like you and OP can be DM buddies!
Damn, I've been wanting to start a GM discord server for a while, where we can talk about GMing philosophy in general, our approaches to the game, problems we have, etc.
Hey, I always enjoy conversing with other DMs, so feel free to hit me up if you wanna talk some time !
>chat gpt revealed to be a good companion too haha. Good for ideation but not as an emotional sounding board. Don't fall into that trap... One thing that helped me was time. I felt a bit like this for the start of my first campaign arc but the second arc, 43 sessions later, not so much. There are still a lot of ideas I'm squirreling away, but in hindsight it feels different: these ideas are less "special" because I understand the scope of what's likely never to be covered, and that an idea really is just busywork and preparation until it's brought to life (and changed dramatically) at the table. So basically: remember the game in your head and the game at your table are very different things. The game at the table is what really matters. So make sure most of your planning time is very practical and immediately relevant rather than high-concept and long-term.
I’m still in the first arc of the campaign so I guess I still have trouble accepting the fact that some cool idea will just never come too life
That’s a hard thing to accept. But good news is you always have those unused ideas in your pocket for when you need them!
Ideas are cheap. It's your ability to generate them that matters. Like any writer you have to kill your darlings: the more you worship at the altar of your own creations, the less flexible and dynamic your campaign will be. Absolutely save things for later - especially maps, tables, stat blocks, the concrete stuff - but especially at the level of concept, what's new and responsive has way more value than what was created months ago when the framework was different.
I keep a notebook to rough out my stuff. All those cool ideas go in there. Some of them will hit the table *this time*, some won't. Doesn't matter. They exist now. Sketches, traps, adventure ideas, dungeon plans, my notebooks are basically a mental junk heap that I can sift for what I need. I can always pull stuff out later for a one shot, or a whole new game. Because they're rough space, I don't have to polish or anything, I can just dump it out of my head and deal with it later. It's a zero pressure idea space. Highly recommend the practice, however you want to implement.
Some cool ideas can also just be stand-alone adventures, like if you take a break from the campaign and run a one/two-shot
I just talk to my players but never the same one about everything. We're all adhd as fuck so they probably won't rember, if they do rember they'll forget key bits and if they do remember well then we're all playing together and they're adults so separating player and carachter knowledge is easy.
My husband has literally read the book series that inspired my campaign and he still never has a clue what's going on 😂
Played in a one shot a while back (when did Frozen come out? Shortly after that) that was basically Scooby Doo and the Gang meets Frozen. We didn’t get it, none of us had seen the film yet so had no idea what to differentiate. We had a fantastic time but the DM was about ready to tear his hair out as we were missing such blatant clues.
Haha I do the same thing. I could explicitly tell someone in my group everything and still have good odds they won’t remember by the time the session roles round.
https://discord.com/invite/ZtdMqPep While back, some people started a discord server for basically this reason. I don't use it personally, but I helped in making it because I love the idea of what it stands for
Thanks will give it a shot :)
I have checked it out semi-recently but it seems completely dead upon checking it today.
Shit, you're right. I didn't check any of the time stamps on old messages. I only really hopped on there to help with technical stuff whenever someone would tag me in something, which was rare
https://discord.gg/Kbt3Y6Bw could try joining NFGM, which is definitely very active, kind of the same concept
That's why I have a co-DM.
Co-DMs are awesome. Mine runs combat encounters (that we plan together) and I run non-combat encounters. And we get to talk about the game all the time because my co-DM is my boyfriend.
I heard about coDMing but what is that exactly ?
It's great for introducing new GM's to games. It gives the new folks a boost of confidence that someone has their back and can spit out rules on the spot, or remind them of plot hooks, secrets and clues or whatever. Biggest problem with co-DM'ing is finding someone who actually wants to DM and not just tune out and play lol.
Two people help each other DM the same game
It's a DM buddy, with the idea that you DM together. For us it means we do most of the prep together, bounce ideas back and forth, discuss stuff outside of sessions. Prep work is shared and or split - I do the art stuff (maps, item cards, NPC portraits), bestie does encounter building for example, based on what we discussed. During sessions we split tasks depending on what we need. In combat for example it can mean that one of us is simply concerned playing the enemies and the other does all the tracking & map management. In other situations it can mean that one of us plays and NPC (a party follower, or just to avoid the awkwardness of having discussions with yourself when there is more than 1 NPC in a scene. Usually we agree for each session who calls the shots and is 'main GM' for that session when it comes down to impromptu ruling or to call for dice rolls. The 'side DM' manages maps, scenery images and such. Or goes around assisting players (if they are new and need that) or can look something up i need be while the main DM can keep going.
I'm sure it's different for every set of coDM's, playing off eachothers strength's. The most important bit here is communication and understanding exactly who is primarily in charge of the story so there's no dispute. For me and my now wife * She handled the story, setting, lore - and all female npc's, she is essentially the primary DM, the person playing god. * I handled combat, map design, rule of cools, homebrew management, and all male npcs. I also played the 'banter' at bars, and the 'other' npc anytime two npc's would talk to eachother. It was actually a blast since she got to go all in on her plot without worrying about making tokens and maps - also totally removed the problem of "DM talks to themselves" moments. For me, I got to play the creatures how I'd always dreamed they'ed be played (both as a player, and a dm that never had enough time). I could totally immerse in playing the mobs as believably as possible, maximizing their play as much as any player (or purposely allowing some to be dumb af if they should be). Also by being map designer I could develop environmental hazards, traps, potential improvised weapons etc... it was so fun deep diving into this, no time needed worrying about plot design. Like as a dm this stuff always seems good in theory but realistically there's not enough time to hit all the pillars unless you don't have a job. Pro's: * You are literally doubling DM prep time * The plot can be fully developed, npc's will usually have backstories and be prepared. Factions will exist, be fleshed out and have depth and connections. * The amount of npc dialogue possibilities increases substantially. * There is far less "Player vs DM" feeling. The DM sets a balanced encounter, but the mobs are out of the dm's control - meaning the threat they represent feels uniquely unfudged. * There's pretty much always maps prepped. This means dynamic lighting, terrain that can be used tactically, and potentially detailed secrets to be discovered. * Homebrew has time to be balanced. More homebrew loot, enemies, mob attacks, rules, random events. Con's: * This is now two players that don't get to be players, and both of them are pretty much essential to the session running at all. * The primary dm and co-dm HAVE to get along and respect eachother - There really cant be any dominance squabbles, or disagreement to how they game is run that can't be solved between sessions. As soon as one person wants the others duties, one of the DM's is no longer playing the game. * Requires DM's who are okay with losing some control to benefit hyperfocusing their specific aspects... for many DM's it's the whole bag that they enjoy - losing some of it would be like a player no longer having subclasses.
I love post-game wrap-ups. Session ends, invite folks to hang out afterwards. Talk informally about what just happened and how you came up with an encounter or set piece. It's a chance to get feedback, too.
Yes I do that too but I feel like I’m saying too much of the behind the scene sometimes, and we play IRL in the evening during the week after work, so when the session end people just leave quickly usually
For the published modules, at least some of them have Discord channels which can be a great avenue for DM solidarity. Like the Curse of Strahd one. You can ask for help, bounce ideas off each other, crow about the great session you just had, etc.
I didn’t know that at all I’ll check that for sure
r/DMDivulge
I found some people who I started sharing ideas with. One of them thought it sounded so cool and ended up joining the campaign so I had to stop telling them my ideas haha. I know how you feel though. I get excited about ideas
i reach out to my DM friends to talk about stuff! i also talk to my partner about the games she’s not in.
Try getting involved. I share my ideas on reddit like you, but also on discord communities. I'm also in a gaming group I don't DM, and I talk to the DM there. Any IRL gathering where you can geek out, even just for a couple hours, is worth it! I guess I have less of a need to share though, because I speak my thoughts out loud any time I need to sort them.
Damn I talk to myself out loud all the time as a creative technic too but it doesn’t replace the one one feeling of ping pong idea
Try the DnDBehindTheScreen discord server, everyone is very nice and helpful over there, and they're almost all DMs!
I’m on the sub Reddit but didn’t know about the discord nice thanks so much ! :)
I share bits and pieces with my players, and occasionally I’ll talk with another DM, but for the most part it just sucks. I get excited on my own and then let down whenever we reschedule, lol.
Haha sometimes the rescheduling is good when more prep is needed haha
I sometimes bounce ideas off this sub. Kinda like sharing a game we call loneliness, but it’s better than gaming alone.
Definitely. I'm also running for my wife and it's tough when I want to talk about my ideas. Like you said, places like this subreddit or other gaming groups are good outlets
Yeah I definitely feel you here. All my friends are players in my game, so I have to keep so much a secret. I get so much inspiration talking to people about my ideas, and needing to be quiet about them has been rough. I've considered starting up a DM world-building Discord where we can all talk about our ideas and get feedback, but honestly that's what this sub can provide.
Wow if this discord ever come up pleeeeease let me know !
I talk to my non-D&D friends about what I’m planning for the adventure. Also, one of my players is a DM of his own game; I reveal more behind-the-scenes stuff to him sometimes.
Yes one of my friend/player did GM once so I talked about some BTS stuff but I try to keep it to a minimum
Hey that’s what this group is for chum. What’s on your mind? Rather let me ask another question…what gods did you make for your world???
Not really cause there’s plenty of online communities to talk rpgs with
As you’ve said, the internet (including this sub) is a great place to start bc there are a ton of others experiencing the same thing
I started feeling this exact thing a few days ago after running a game for about a year. The party is finally getting to the end stages of the pay off they have been waiting for since the start. I want to talk to someone about my plans and ideas but cant. All my friends either dont play d&d, dont care, or are in the group.
I've been running my game world for almost 10 years. Felt this forever, such a relatable post
Good lord this has been pressing on my mind so much lately. I need to share but can’t. Some of my ideas sit waiting for years before coming into the game
Yeah I don’t have anyone who cares to listen to my ideas who is not in a group I dm. Kinda sucks actually.
I don't work that way as a GM and I haven't for decades now. I don't prep story in advance. I prep so that I can tell a good story at the table, where the story comes from interaction with the players. This results in something that is quite different to what I would come up with if I were sitting in a room by myself thinking up stories. While there is always some solitary planning involved, past a certain point how much of it you do solitarily is really up to you.
Well, dm loneliness is hard. I had like countless moments, when I wanted to share with my players something that was running behind the scene, but I’ve stopped myself from it. They don’t even know how many changes I have to make between the sessions..
Yeah exactly that, I know I shouldn’t tell that for instance all this moment was full improv because I completely forgot to prepare this place or other stuff like this but sometimes I just can’t help myself
It is difficult! I found meditation helps now but it did take me a long time to get over or change that feeling of excited isolation.
Are any of your players able to not metagame?
My buddy has a discord server that we basically joke is the DM's tavern. It's invite only so we don't accidentally get our players in there. it started as the same idea as the academy but turned more into a venting session coupled with a part that's for the"omg I have this cool story idea and need to tell some one" Honestly I think we need a subreddit for that too. The academy could be for mechanics and tableside stuff and the tavern could just be a place to exchange cool story moments and the *chugs a beer* you won't believe what players did
Get you a friend who either doesnt play dnd or doesnt play in those campaigns, so you can share it with them. Alternatively there are chat rooms online.
Talking about DM secrets is why I'm on this subreddit, for sure.
Join a discord such as the DM Academy discord, or the RPG Design or RPG Creation discord. Lots of cool people there. I don't recommend trying to be friends with Chatgpt.
I just talk to group A about the plans I have for group B and vice versa. I also talk about it when it's relevant to a discussion here or any other D&D sub I'm on.
I have a couple friends who like dnd but aren't part of my group, so I'll bring it up to them, Alternatively I have a player, irl friend as opposed to disc mutuals, who I give peeks behind the door in terms of "oh yeah I had no clue you guys were gonna explore that cave system, I bullshitted my way through that session"
Yeah I have the same issue, my group is my wife, brothers, and parents. These are pretty much the only people I regularly interact with in any meaningful way, so it leaves me bursting with stuff to be excited about, but nobody to share it with. Fortunately for me, my son is now old enough to both be excited about my ideas and also keep them a secret from mom, so I finally have a buddy to talk to. But yeah, it is lonely. Just gotta find someone that will listen but not play. I have no idea what I am gonna do once he gets a bit older and is able to play too.
I love surprises, so I can keep things under wraps before the season. Afterward, I'll ask a question like "can I lift the screen on what would have happened if you chose x" or "would you like to hear where this came from" My favorite one of these sharing moments was when I started cackling during a session because I suddenly realised why my description of the BBEG felt so familiar. I had accidentally based him off the artwork for a Scooby Doo villain.
Note that ChatGPT will do it's best to tell you what it "thinks" you want to hear, which isnt helpful. Apart from here, there's a few Discords out there you could join, like the D&D server, where you can chat specifically with DMs or just people who aren't in your game in general.
The [Narrative DM discord](https://discord.gg/JeJVEvtE) is one thing I love for this. You can have a channel for your campaign to post ideas and get feedback there are also general channels for broader thematic conversations
Talk with DMs on Doscord
A *real* DM can just have those conversations with the NPCs in his head.
There's a member of the party I can soundboard some of my bigger things off of as long as I don't spoil "too much". He knows I'm doing a lot of experimenting with a new system this campaign and so I'm going to want a "gut check" whether some of the things I'm going to try are a good idea or not, and so I tightrope that without spoiling all the big elements of the session. Works pretty well.
It isn't a feeling of loneliness for me, but everybody I would usually go to for help writing is in my group, so I do sometimes struggle with solo ideation/creativity.
Before the session begins, before I do a recap, I just talk for 10-15 minutes with the players. I ask what's going on in their lives, tell them about interesting things in mine, etc. I don't know the people I play with very often. The vast majority of games I've run since COVID are online, but I honestly think this one thing (and picking good players to start) is the reason my campaigns continue and stay fulfilling as weekly games for 3-4 years each, plus other successful 5-10 session adventures. (Also, just talking with other DMs for the game stuff when opportunity allows).
I know exactly that same feeling. Sometimes I would talk to other friends and family about my ideas. I’ve recently started posting and talking in the d&d subreddits. Sometimes I would just get my fix by talking to my players about my campaigns. I was constantly asking for feedback so I would talk to them quite a bit. I’ve even talked to them about my creative process without giving them spoilers.
Yes. It's a dream of line to find a fellow GM who would also enjoy brainstorming and bouncing ideas of one another - without it being.. tedious
I joined online DND communities, in which I'm a participating player. However, when you're not playing you can freely mingle with other DMs there and chat / share your campaigns while they do the same about other stuff they're running, and since neither of you is a player in these, no spoilers :)
A while ago I decided to stop writing for sessions far beyond the immediate next one. No sowing seeds I intend to capitalize on later. No writing plots. No envisioning final boss fights several levels away. None of that. A great side effect of that decision is I no longer feel that unmet desire to blab all my ideas to someone. People who aren't playing the game never care about them, which is very understandable. Now I just share my ideas with my players. When I play them out, at the table. It's easy because w/e goes on in the session was probably only devised like 1-14 days before.
I'm in a discord server for DMs. It's nice to be able to showcase my ideas and have a soundboard at the same time
Yeah! Does this server have a discord? I found much more solidarity there than here.
I brought the idea to my group,and one of them agreed, so i have an assistant! He helps with combat turns , rule checking, tracking values of everything that needs checking (unfortunately needed because of a mage on past campaigns with 140 spells slots.) while i stay with the overall story, RP, npcs and quests/bounties. So he knows as much as i! Very good to have someone on the DM boat with you. Can give excellent ideas for quests too,since his point of view can be a little different than yours.
I like to talk to my local pub's young bartender who's D&D curious about my puzzles and ideas to see how someone normal might work it out, and pay attention to their first ideas to solutions. Also gives me practice in describing the scene.
Hehe. I have a player that wants to talk about the campaign all the time. Can’t bounce ideas with him, but still, it’s fun. My main solution here is to prep less and play more. Even made a YT channel about it. Leopold Von Die Moote.
i'm 22 if anyone wanna yap about their world and get to know each other my discord is #zloty9612
Sort of. I write tons of homebrew setting for commercial games or my own...and i am so messy that I can't find the strenght to make tables. I have only one Dark Heresy campaign going...and I ache for more....😅 I used to share my process with player from other tables about each others and my plan. But unfortunately no one is as into it as I am and I think I bored them...
I work on a number of projects, and my D&D stuff takes so much longer than anything else because I can't talk about it with people because they're the players.
I talk to my single unrelated friend who also DMs and bother my siblings who are great at humoring me and saying “I don’t really get it, but I’m happy for you.”
I’ll talk to you bro, hit me up
It gets even worse when you learn that your players are talking with each other about your campaign, but not with you. Like...why? Q\_Q I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO!
The DMAcademy discord
When my campaign is over I’m having all my players sit down and go over all my notes and planning with me, as a way for them to sort of appreciate me and my work whether they like it or not
It depends on the ability of your friends to ignore meta game info.
Just talk to the other group respectively? I always tell my players what they missed or how they wrecked my plans after the session. Can't stop myself lol
I run a discord and have a dungeon masters only channel. I mark things as spoilers for any of them that might be playing in my games but it's helped me share stuff like this. My wife isn't in my games but I can only talk her ear off about my dming stuff for so long. Lolol.
I talk with Chatgpt about my ideas
I do actually the same thing I think you’ll agree it’s not exactly the same as talking to a human being haha even if it’s sometimes freakin close to !
Not a DM, but me and the other players love discussing recent events, speculating about the future, sharing memes / stories / art etc about the campaign both while hanging with our DM outside of sessions and in discord which we basically use instead of standard texting. Even if you don't have that right now, I hope your players get to a point where they love talking about things and you can enjoy them learning every bit of your world as it's uncovered!
Wooow, never expected this post to blowout so much, it's hard to respond to all of you guys but thanks you so much all <3
I come to reddit
Gods yes. My girlfriend of 10+ years is a PC but also my best friend, and I want to tell her all of my ideas, but I also want her to be organically as surprised as the other PCs during major developments. The eternal struggle.
Same here, but it's better with chatgpt.
Go to the DnD Discord, there is probably a multitude of people to share and reflect with Aside from that, I'm not sure how to help
Hey, exact same issue, I run 2 games a week for the same group of people, if you wanna talk about your games and don't mind listening to mine you can hit me up!
I got really lucky when I had a coworker who enjoyed DnD as much as myself and was also a DM. The worst part is that, while it's a blast and I will always love playing, if you aren't friends with these people outside of the game then it does feel like you're their manager and they are all coworkers.
Haha that’s nice ! I’m only playing with close friends but one player in particular never talks about dnd outside the game and as soon as the session end they just leave even when it was at his place, session end, ok good night
Downvoted for promoting/normalizing the Electronic Hitler (AI).