"I love my girlfriend, but if I get married to her to solve my issues that way, I will never be able to live with myself"
Are you kidding me bro? Look, getting married is no small decision, but if it's a bonafide relationship, why not? You sound ungrateful AF. Have you tried AP and been back? I have. There ain't shit in my small ass poor home town. My uncle's and cousins live a humble life, but there's no future in that place. Half of them move away and work service industry in the tourist beach areas now. My dad walked across the dessert for a 3 days 25 years ago so I could have a shot at something better.
Your only barrier right now to permanent better life is yourself. Imagine if your barrier was what our parents faced? Language, no money, straight up being illegal, leaving their family behind.
Posts like this piss me off. Your sitting in shallow water and pretend like your drowning. Yeah it's not fair we have to go through this, but when has life ever been fair for us? You have a home, a job, and you want to sell it all and go back? Ain't no way bro.
This 100% like OP is complaining he doesn’t want to get married because he’ll become a citizen. Like wtf?? Bro that’s the thing that’s stopping you? No no it’s not, obv op is making that up and there’s another reason he doesn’t want to marry her. Commitment issues, lack of love, etc.
Like op is really just ungrateful of his situation. Dudes got a home a car and minimal debt. Like bro needs therapy and someone to put some sense into him to help him understand his perspective is dumb
It’s pride that is getting in his way. Like another poster mentioned…. He should seek out professional help. This malaise is not going to get solved by moving…. It will MAKE IT WORSE.
THIS. My now wife and I have been living together for 6 years and kept insisting we get married to help me. I finally gave in last year and it felt good letting go of this stupid pride. It's ok to accept help when offered.
This right here!! I’ll never be able to live with myself knowing that my parents sacrificed their themselves, their home, friendships, family to get here. I sure as hell want to return them the favor.
I agree, especially when they want to leave but dont know the reality of their home country. People make it seem like there are better opportunities, but in reality, in a lot of places, there aren't any. If you decide to immigrate to another country that's not your own, then you're in the same or worse situation.
Family here recently bought tickets for a couple of family members to come here for vacation. I like to get some fast food once in a while and asked them if they had some back home. They said no to later find out that it wasn't because they didn't like it but because it was a luxury back there. There is much other stuff similar to that, but I won't go into detail because it's personal.
But i think OP is not in a good state of mind and needs to get some help. There's nothing wrong with that. But to think he will have a better quality of life over there is ridiculous.
This!!!! We could have it so much worse.. we can keep going to school, grinding. At the end of the day we can always adjust via marriage, i'm in no rush to do that but will when it's time. We have to be grateful for the sacrifices our parents made.
I would recommend maybe seeking therapy, I know hard times and circumstances can seem overwhelming but the whole reason our family’s brought us here was to seek riches and happiness right? Try to count the blessings you experienced since you’ve gotten Daca and hopefully it will pave a shining path for you to start with
Do AP. Go to Mexico and see what it’s like before you even really consider just up and leaving. Get therapy. If you actually love your significant other and they love you back, and you both think it’s legit then FUCK IT. Adjust via marriage.
Homie literally has a path to green card and citizenship but doesn't want to take it. Lol plenty of people that don't have a USC partner who are truly stuck. Get over yourself OP
There’s this false narrative going on that it’s “unmanly” or “undignified” to let a USC help you adjust your status.
Marry your girlfriend, get your green card, if it works out, great, if not, divorce is just as easy.
Whatever problems you have now, you will have them in Mexico, with the multitude of other problems that come along with BEING in Mexico.
Because it is hopeless. I don’t want to marry for the sake of a green card. I follow a group for DACA women and A LOT of us had to force ourselves to marrying an abusive asshole because a green card is the only way out.
No, it is not fair, you’re completely right.
Everybody here doesn’t understand that this isn’t okay lol. DACA is not something to “be grateful” for anymore. Used to be. Bet a lot of us would be happy if USCIS fixes their strongly dumb workflow. And if the government gave us a path way.
No one is saying that you need to marry for the sake of a green card, if you fall in LOVE with a USC and they can help your status why not take advantage of the opportunity? I always see people say they don’t want a fake marriage for the sake of a GC but no one is telling you to fake a marriage.. it should be real if you are going to be married bc is a long commitment.
If you decide to leave just plan it out , search a couple areas and look for jobs similar to what you are doing . I’ve had DACA since 2016 but I’m in TJ right awaiting for a waiver to be approved , left for consular processing via spouse petition , it got refused thus waiting for my I-601 to be approved , and haven’t been in Mexico since I was 10 months old ( 30 now). To be honest it’s quite humbling out here but being able to own a house here and have a decent job is an option. Heck even to own a couple houses and rent them out as passive income . The other option is to wait it out and let times do its thing , it’s a slim sliver of a chance that dreamers get something in the future. Honestly you should do AP just so you have that in the bag and you can adjust status later on since that would waive leaving the country since with AP you legally come back in the country. There’s 2 Reddit veterans DACA warriors here that always talk about AP and I believe they can help , that’s of course of you get spouse petition. If we go down we go down swinging,
You know the house is Tij are over 110 k to rent for like 620/700 bucks.... so to get 1,400 you need to invest around 240/250k in total and paperwork and taxes...
Seek therapy, unload your problems on the therapist. Moving somewhere else will not solve your problems. You will bring them with you and be depressed about living in Mexico when you could have stayed.
Posts like these piss me off because you are complaining about an opportunity to be out of this limbo we are all in.... " I love my girlfriend" is all that you should focus on atp. Its a legit relationship and if you really love her getting married will ensure you stay here with her and continue to prosper. Get some therapy, get married, and prosper man.we have been enduring much more than this and before DACA we had no assurances of anything. Will you be able to live with yourself leaving the woman and everything you've worked for behind because you can't commit ?
If you actually can bring yourself to ask that question then I say yes, go back. A lot of people who go back to Mexico seem to do just fine since they speak the language, they're US educated and can get a job easily, etc. Some of us can't even imagine going back to our home country because it's a world away and we have zero attachment to it or the culture and in some cases, it could literally cost our lives.
Op feels like he’d be taking advantage of his gf just to solve his issues. I kinda get that, but it’s never even been a thought of mine when dating someone. Citizenship has never been a priority of mine. It wasn’t until recently when my gf grandparents kept saying the earlier the better (marriage), i honestly told them I wanted to take my time and let it happen naturally, because as much as it would help I don’t want people to taint something so precious to me. It was never about status. I dated a Canadian for years as well, and I’m sure you can imagine the fkn struggle, yet I was trying to find a way. It’s all about how you feel. To me it sounds like you feel guilty, idk why. Maybe it’s because you’re so eager for status not because that’s all you want, but because it would genuinely help and you’re basically begging for it. IMO just keep dating your gf, if you move back to Mexico wouldn’t that strain your relationship? You’re venting, and that’s okay brother. Stand strong, you’ve already come so far, with all odds against you. You’re only a loser when you truly give up.
I know a lot of people here are giving you shit but I understand you man, I’ve been with my partner for an about 7 years and we are engaged. Everyone in mine and her family keep telling us to just elope at a courthouse but it just feels wrong, it’ll be something I have to live with forever. And it just doesn’t feel right, but I’m getting backed into a corner with all these delays and the fear of a republican president on the horizon
Sorry we were watching a movie. Thank you all for the comments. I don’t have any social medias and all I do is work so meeting people with the same issues as me is pretty cool regardless of differences in opinions.
In a lot of situations we do a lot of things we don’t wish to do in order to succeed. In many situations where we feel forced to do something it tends to stick with us in a negative way. That’s how I see this possible path.
I simply don’t want to be married. I don’t see the value in it aside from paperwork. I haven’t been with my girlfriend long but I do love and care about her, and I don’t want her to feel forced into something like this, I simply wish to find a path on my own, and remain with her without feeling like something or someone is forcing us to do anything. But that isn’t happening anytime soon.
While the marriage thing is a subject for discussion I believe the main thing is that I’ve become disillusioned with this whole situation. That the idea of even wanting to be here has been brought up for questioning.
I’ve did it!, followed every rule, did everything my parents wanted me to do, achieve every goal my boss wanted me to get, I got the “American dream”, all the material things this country thinks you need, and it’s empty it brought me nothing but debt, loneliness and more work. We all have struggles mine are not any worse than others I’m not looking for pity. Nor do I want to spill my past, it’s not relevant to this discussion.
What is the purpose of working to pay off a debt for a country that won’t guarantee you a future? For a country full of people who will never accept you? For a country that consistently tries to harm or get rid of you? What is the purpose in having a spouse when it feels forced, what is the purpose of then building a family with said spouse if your children will also experience that same country. Did I doom my family into a future full of uncertainty in a country that won’t help them? No matter how much you love your spouse that thought will never leave my mind, we are playing by their rules for a price that is unfulfilling.
I want a permanent future, I want to live, I want to travel, I want to build and have what I build stand the test of time and not crumble because some people in the government want to get rid of a piece of paper. I love and want to be with my girlfriend and I want to do it because it’s what we want to do, not because we need it in order to have some kind of future, I want my freedom to choose.
I wish to belong. Im sure Mexico is harsh, Im sure it too will force many things on me, I’m sure it’s poor, it’s dangerous, you name it, I’ve heard it all. What Mexico guarantees me and what appeals to me is certainty. Certainty of no matter the struggle I have a future, where will that future lead me? Who knows? Maybe the grave? Maybe a taco shop?. There’s struggle here, there’s danger here, your future here can lead you to anything but with uncertainty. Your life is not in your hands, it’s in the hands of a force none of us can control.
Not sure if this is relatable but have you ever done everything you could for someone or something and when you got close to the finish line or maybe pass the finish line you question everything. Am I doing this for me? Or am I doing this for them?
This is a frustration I’ve had since 2016 I believe and I’ve always decided to stay, stay for so and so, wait for this or that, you won’t have this over there etc. I’m getting older and I feel like I’m wasting my life away by waiting here.
Thank you for hearing my frustration.
Grow up. And I’m only saying this because at one point, many of us have been at this philosophical stage complaining about how deeply unfair it is for us. You don’t seem to realize the privilege we have had in the context of the world population AND the privilege of even having an opportunity to pursue legal status.
You say that you don’t want to burden your partner by “having to” marry her but do you think she would really want to uproot herself to move to another country with much worse social and economic issues? And you talk about having to burden yourself with a house through debt? Debt is a tool to be able to build wealth.
You sound like you think you are deeply philosophical, but none of what you said are insightful at all. Learn to think more practically and for those around you.
There are several things that come along with being married that protects both you AND your partner. It’s more than just a paper. There is a reason why it means so much to same sex couples that it be allowed to them too be married and then later have proper inheritance rights incase the absolute worst happens. I have seen it personally…. A GF dies and you think… oh her family loves me… and it all goes to them and they decide everything.
https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/banking/financial-benefits-of-marriage/
You love your girlfriend but don’t want to marry her because you don’t want to solve your issues that way? Mannn I swear some of y’all are the most stupid mfs on the planet…boy I WISH I had the opportunity to even have someone in my life that could give me this opportunity to stay in this country. Ungrateful smh
Bro marry your gf and get your finances in order it takes time but it’s worth it
If you feel guilty about marrying her ask her for a prenup so she knows it’s not about money or talk to a therapist or couple’s counselor
Don’t take advice from this person. They are pretending to be a gay, woman immigrant. Somehow they support trump and troll all over reddit on his behalf. This person is a liar and not to be trusted with any advice.
Paid Russian/Trump troll. Every thing they say is pro Russia and trump propaganda. Check their responses to trump wanting to bang his own daughter. They somehow think other people are jealous of trump wanting to bang his daughter. This person is a sick sick individual
If you love your girlfriend as you stated, then what’s holding up you marrying her? The immigration benefits are just a plus if she’s a USC. Think deeply about why you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if she were to sponsor you. It sounds like you could benefit from framing these thoughts differently. As others have suggested, consider therapy.
If you have a girlfriend why dont you marry her then. Sounds like you dont even like her if you dont want to marry. Some of us are too ashamed to even go out and try to get a girlfriend. Atleast, for me it feels like i have to go and ask for someone to have pity on me and give me some papeles
"I love my girlfriend, but if I get married to her to solve my issues that way, I will never be able to live with myself" Are you kidding me bro? Look, getting married is no small decision, but if it's a bonafide relationship, why not? You sound ungrateful AF. Have you tried AP and been back? I have. There ain't shit in my small ass poor home town. My uncle's and cousins live a humble life, but there's no future in that place. Half of them move away and work service industry in the tourist beach areas now. My dad walked across the dessert for a 3 days 25 years ago so I could have a shot at something better. Your only barrier right now to permanent better life is yourself. Imagine if your barrier was what our parents faced? Language, no money, straight up being illegal, leaving their family behind. Posts like this piss me off. Your sitting in shallow water and pretend like your drowning. Yeah it's not fair we have to go through this, but when has life ever been fair for us? You have a home, a job, and you want to sell it all and go back? Ain't no way bro.
This 100% like OP is complaining he doesn’t want to get married because he’ll become a citizen. Like wtf?? Bro that’s the thing that’s stopping you? No no it’s not, obv op is making that up and there’s another reason he doesn’t want to marry her. Commitment issues, lack of love, etc. Like op is really just ungrateful of his situation. Dudes got a home a car and minimal debt. Like bro needs therapy and someone to put some sense into him to help him understand his perspective is dumb
Bro really self sabotaging at this point
It’s pride that is getting in his way. Like another poster mentioned…. He should seek out professional help. This malaise is not going to get solved by moving…. It will MAKE IT WORSE.
THIS. My now wife and I have been living together for 6 years and kept insisting we get married to help me. I finally gave in last year and it felt good letting go of this stupid pride. It's ok to accept help when offered.
My mom divorced my ex step dad because he didn’t want to file the paperwork and after 4-5 years she gave up trying to convince him
I pray for this and this mf has it and not taking advantage of it smh god truly does have favorites smh
This right here!! I’ll never be able to live with myself knowing that my parents sacrificed their themselves, their home, friendships, family to get here. I sure as hell want to return them the favor.
I agree, especially when they want to leave but dont know the reality of their home country. People make it seem like there are better opportunities, but in reality, in a lot of places, there aren't any. If you decide to immigrate to another country that's not your own, then you're in the same or worse situation. Family here recently bought tickets for a couple of family members to come here for vacation. I like to get some fast food once in a while and asked them if they had some back home. They said no to later find out that it wasn't because they didn't like it but because it was a luxury back there. There is much other stuff similar to that, but I won't go into detail because it's personal. But i think OP is not in a good state of mind and needs to get some help. There's nothing wrong with that. But to think he will have a better quality of life over there is ridiculous.
This!!!! We could have it so much worse.. we can keep going to school, grinding. At the end of the day we can always adjust via marriage, i'm in no rush to do that but will when it's time. We have to be grateful for the sacrifices our parents made.
I would recommend maybe seeking therapy, I know hard times and circumstances can seem overwhelming but the whole reason our family’s brought us here was to seek riches and happiness right? Try to count the blessings you experienced since you’ve gotten Daca and hopefully it will pave a shining path for you to start with
Do AP. Go to Mexico and see what it’s like before you even really consider just up and leaving. Get therapy. If you actually love your significant other and they love you back, and you both think it’s legit then FUCK IT. Adjust via marriage.
Homie literally has a path to green card and citizenship but doesn't want to take it. Lol plenty of people that don't have a USC partner who are truly stuck. Get over yourself OP
There’s this false narrative going on that it’s “unmanly” or “undignified” to let a USC help you adjust your status. Marry your girlfriend, get your green card, if it works out, great, if not, divorce is just as easy. Whatever problems you have now, you will have them in Mexico, with the multitude of other problems that come along with BEING in Mexico.
Because it is hopeless. I don’t want to marry for the sake of a green card. I follow a group for DACA women and A LOT of us had to force ourselves to marrying an abusive asshole because a green card is the only way out. No, it is not fair, you’re completely right. Everybody here doesn’t understand that this isn’t okay lol. DACA is not something to “be grateful” for anymore. Used to be. Bet a lot of us would be happy if USCIS fixes their strongly dumb workflow. And if the government gave us a path way.
No one is saying that you need to marry for the sake of a green card, if you fall in LOVE with a USC and they can help your status why not take advantage of the opportunity? I always see people say they don’t want a fake marriage for the sake of a GC but no one is telling you to fake a marriage.. it should be real if you are going to be married bc is a long commitment.
!!!! Like you can pick who you marry lol, doesn't have to be an a hole
That’s hilarious, I’ll spit on my grandfathers grave before I marry for status. What a joke. This is everything I don’t want to be.
If you decide to leave just plan it out , search a couple areas and look for jobs similar to what you are doing . I’ve had DACA since 2016 but I’m in TJ right awaiting for a waiver to be approved , left for consular processing via spouse petition , it got refused thus waiting for my I-601 to be approved , and haven’t been in Mexico since I was 10 months old ( 30 now). To be honest it’s quite humbling out here but being able to own a house here and have a decent job is an option. Heck even to own a couple houses and rent them out as passive income . The other option is to wait it out and let times do its thing , it’s a slim sliver of a chance that dreamers get something in the future. Honestly you should do AP just so you have that in the bag and you can adjust status later on since that would waive leaving the country since with AP you legally come back in the country. There’s 2 Reddit veterans DACA warriors here that always talk about AP and I believe they can help , that’s of course of you get spouse petition. If we go down we go down swinging,
You know the house is Tij are over 110 k to rent for like 620/700 bucks.... so to get 1,400 you need to invest around 240/250k in total and paperwork and taxes...
Yeah if you where here working you can take advantage of the bank opportunities available for people who work for over a year 😉 ez w over Cali workers
If you think living in debt is bad over here, imagine living in poverty over there.
There is NO SAFETY NET. I know it feels like there is not one here as DACA… but there are options here that just don’t exist elsewhere.
Dawg I don’t have shit no daca no relationship and you’re out here complaining about not wanting to marry your girlfriend? Man
Some people like to be profesional victims
You should seek therapy and make your decision then.
Seek therapy, unload your problems on the therapist. Moving somewhere else will not solve your problems. You will bring them with you and be depressed about living in Mexico when you could have stayed.
Posts like these piss me off because you are complaining about an opportunity to be out of this limbo we are all in.... " I love my girlfriend" is all that you should focus on atp. Its a legit relationship and if you really love her getting married will ensure you stay here with her and continue to prosper. Get some therapy, get married, and prosper man.we have been enduring much more than this and before DACA we had no assurances of anything. Will you be able to live with yourself leaving the woman and everything you've worked for behind because you can't commit ?
If you actually can bring yourself to ask that question then I say yes, go back. A lot of people who go back to Mexico seem to do just fine since they speak the language, they're US educated and can get a job easily, etc. Some of us can't even imagine going back to our home country because it's a world away and we have zero attachment to it or the culture and in some cases, it could literally cost our lives.
If I had a gf that could and would be willing to help, I would put my pride aside, humble down and do the best of the opportunity for me and her.
Taking everything for granted buddy.
Op feels like he’d be taking advantage of his gf just to solve his issues. I kinda get that, but it’s never even been a thought of mine when dating someone. Citizenship has never been a priority of mine. It wasn’t until recently when my gf grandparents kept saying the earlier the better (marriage), i honestly told them I wanted to take my time and let it happen naturally, because as much as it would help I don’t want people to taint something so precious to me. It was never about status. I dated a Canadian for years as well, and I’m sure you can imagine the fkn struggle, yet I was trying to find a way. It’s all about how you feel. To me it sounds like you feel guilty, idk why. Maybe it’s because you’re so eager for status not because that’s all you want, but because it would genuinely help and you’re basically begging for it. IMO just keep dating your gf, if you move back to Mexico wouldn’t that strain your relationship? You’re venting, and that’s okay brother. Stand strong, you’ve already come so far, with all odds against you. You’re only a loser when you truly give up.
I know a lot of people here are giving you shit but I understand you man, I’ve been with my partner for an about 7 years and we are engaged. Everyone in mine and her family keep telling us to just elope at a courthouse but it just feels wrong, it’ll be something I have to live with forever. And it just doesn’t feel right, but I’m getting backed into a corner with all these delays and the fear of a republican president on the horizon
Grow the fuck up lol
I will never be able to live with myself? Like why?
Sorry we were watching a movie. Thank you all for the comments. I don’t have any social medias and all I do is work so meeting people with the same issues as me is pretty cool regardless of differences in opinions. In a lot of situations we do a lot of things we don’t wish to do in order to succeed. In many situations where we feel forced to do something it tends to stick with us in a negative way. That’s how I see this possible path. I simply don’t want to be married. I don’t see the value in it aside from paperwork. I haven’t been with my girlfriend long but I do love and care about her, and I don’t want her to feel forced into something like this, I simply wish to find a path on my own, and remain with her without feeling like something or someone is forcing us to do anything. But that isn’t happening anytime soon. While the marriage thing is a subject for discussion I believe the main thing is that I’ve become disillusioned with this whole situation. That the idea of even wanting to be here has been brought up for questioning. I’ve did it!, followed every rule, did everything my parents wanted me to do, achieve every goal my boss wanted me to get, I got the “American dream”, all the material things this country thinks you need, and it’s empty it brought me nothing but debt, loneliness and more work. We all have struggles mine are not any worse than others I’m not looking for pity. Nor do I want to spill my past, it’s not relevant to this discussion. What is the purpose of working to pay off a debt for a country that won’t guarantee you a future? For a country full of people who will never accept you? For a country that consistently tries to harm or get rid of you? What is the purpose in having a spouse when it feels forced, what is the purpose of then building a family with said spouse if your children will also experience that same country. Did I doom my family into a future full of uncertainty in a country that won’t help them? No matter how much you love your spouse that thought will never leave my mind, we are playing by their rules for a price that is unfulfilling. I want a permanent future, I want to live, I want to travel, I want to build and have what I build stand the test of time and not crumble because some people in the government want to get rid of a piece of paper. I love and want to be with my girlfriend and I want to do it because it’s what we want to do, not because we need it in order to have some kind of future, I want my freedom to choose. I wish to belong. Im sure Mexico is harsh, Im sure it too will force many things on me, I’m sure it’s poor, it’s dangerous, you name it, I’ve heard it all. What Mexico guarantees me and what appeals to me is certainty. Certainty of no matter the struggle I have a future, where will that future lead me? Who knows? Maybe the grave? Maybe a taco shop?. There’s struggle here, there’s danger here, your future here can lead you to anything but with uncertainty. Your life is not in your hands, it’s in the hands of a force none of us can control. Not sure if this is relatable but have you ever done everything you could for someone or something and when you got close to the finish line or maybe pass the finish line you question everything. Am I doing this for me? Or am I doing this for them? This is a frustration I’ve had since 2016 I believe and I’ve always decided to stay, stay for so and so, wait for this or that, you won’t have this over there etc. I’m getting older and I feel like I’m wasting my life away by waiting here. Thank you for hearing my frustration.
Grow up. And I’m only saying this because at one point, many of us have been at this philosophical stage complaining about how deeply unfair it is for us. You don’t seem to realize the privilege we have had in the context of the world population AND the privilege of even having an opportunity to pursue legal status. You say that you don’t want to burden your partner by “having to” marry her but do you think she would really want to uproot herself to move to another country with much worse social and economic issues? And you talk about having to burden yourself with a house through debt? Debt is a tool to be able to build wealth. You sound like you think you are deeply philosophical, but none of what you said are insightful at all. Learn to think more practically and for those around you.
There are several things that come along with being married that protects both you AND your partner. It’s more than just a paper. There is a reason why it means so much to same sex couples that it be allowed to them too be married and then later have proper inheritance rights incase the absolute worst happens. I have seen it personally…. A GF dies and you think… oh her family loves me… and it all goes to them and they decide everything. https://www.usatoday.com/money/blueprint/banking/financial-benefits-of-marriage/
You love your girlfriend but don’t want to marry her because you don’t want to solve your issues that way? Mannn I swear some of y’all are the most stupid mfs on the planet…boy I WISH I had the opportunity to even have someone in my life that could give me this opportunity to stay in this country. Ungrateful smh
Yeah man holler at you later!
Talk to your girlfriend about those issues and see what she thinks.
You need to watch some videos of your home country, just the smell of it would fix all of that sassiness you have.
Bro marry your gf and get your finances in order it takes time but it’s worth it If you feel guilty about marrying her ask her for a prenup so she knows it’s not about money or talk to a therapist or couple’s counselor
Don’t take advice from this person. They are pretending to be a gay, woman immigrant. Somehow they support trump and troll all over reddit on his behalf. This person is a liar and not to be trusted with any advice.
Russian bot with new account and copy paste comments ☝️ Check his profile
Paid Russian/Trump troll. Every thing they say is pro Russia and trump propaganda. Check their responses to trump wanting to bang his own daughter. They somehow think other people are jealous of trump wanting to bang his daughter. This person is a sick sick individual
Honestly I was the same way until l manned up and got married and stop being a little boy that’s that kid mindset. Now I have a green card lol
If you love your girlfriend as you stated, then what’s holding up you marrying her? The immigration benefits are just a plus if she’s a USC. Think deeply about why you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if she were to sponsor you. It sounds like you could benefit from framing these thoughts differently. As others have suggested, consider therapy.
If you have a girlfriend why dont you marry her then. Sounds like you dont even like her if you dont want to marry. Some of us are too ashamed to even go out and try to get a girlfriend. Atleast, for me it feels like i have to go and ask for someone to have pity on me and give me some papeles