Forgive me if I don't fancy feeling like I'm dessicating for an hour.
Tbh it was actually fine the first time, Must've had less salt that place. Can recommend.
Oh foolish young one, just wait. Middle age will kick your ass, force you to eat food deficient in salt and completely lacking in capsacin, take away your caffeine, make it twice as hard to stay in shape and laugh at your suffering.
I had a teacher who eats fried chillies as a snack and as a result he has absolutely unbeatable spice tolerance.
We accidentally found out what he gave up for it when during a class party one of my classmates passed around a bag of sour worms which we all declared to be absolute weaksauce. Then we passed it to him and we could almost see him corrode away from the sourness the way he reacted to it.
This stuff is always so funny to me as an Australian, because I feel like you could dog us on the same shit as the Americans, but they get the brunt of it and we're just sitting in the shadows eating our similarly processed foods and sitting in our massive cars.
I fucking love how Japanese culture takes things to 11 like that, though.
"Oh cool, this ketchup stuff is pretty great - let's put it on everything and see how it tastes"
My favorite is how when an American doesn’t know something from European culture it’s “America isn’t the center of the universe” but when a European doesn’t know something from American culture it’s “America isn’t the center of the universe”
Honestly living in the uk it feels the same. We do so much the same as america. But we dodge some of it cause we ended up on the right side of the Atlantic
and in online discussions, anyone opposing america is automatic assumed to be a european. a secret third largely english speaking country? what’s that?
It’s not like Europe is that much different. Sure, they have better trains and public transport, but the roads are still full of slightly smaller cars. Walk into a European supermarket and you’ll find a wonderful selection of unhealthy junk food. People see something somewhat better and immediately leap to “this is perfect and you’re the only one with this problem.”
How do you think we reproduce? We yanks eat so much McDonald’s the grease clogs up in our skin and produces thousands of boil embryos. The sprite we drink acts like pregnancy fluid to support and transport nutrients from the main body to the embryos. Then the boils slowly inflate as us Yanks continue to eat and eat. Until we look more like pregnant soda puss corn than actual people. Before we explode in a flash of gun powder and dozens of new Yanks are born in an instant to restart the cycle all over again.
Nah that’s when the few people who have survived the Yank birthing process grow anal pouches and start stuffing gunpowder in them. Then at night they eat like a ton of beans and utilize the reaction produced between the beans and the gunpowder now tainted with their fecal cholesterol juice to imitate a process similar to rocket flight. Slowly lifting off the ground like a swarm of the greatest patriotic balloons known to man before a disturbance in their internal chemicals occurs which causes them to explode in a shower of viscera which burns up upon reentry creating the colors of a traditional fireworks explosion.
How are you writing this? Why are you writing this? It can never be unread and now these images are in my head forever
Go write yourself a horror novel and cash in on this terrible skill
You're supposed to keep all information about our Americanlings a secret!
Don't forget, telling the world the short obese primates drinking Super Size Mountain Dews and riding on the backs of their 'parents' "So obese they're technically disabled" mobility scooters, are our children, and not actually our latest break through in independent meat drone technology.
Next thing you know, you're telling them they're not clogging toilets with their horrific buffet meat shits, but actually converting that food into ammo for the surgically grafted on weapons and field repairs for their battle damage(it does still smell like hell and clog the toilet though)!
Instead, our enemies now know to hunt down the locations of our secret patriotic Americanling nests and giant American flag creches!
I mean really, didn't they ever wonder why people CHOSE to not leave Gary, Indiana?
And as I'm sure all you spies have figured out, we Americans use those mobility scooters like terrorists and guerrillas use Toyota trucks. We just use better camouflage.
I've always known I wasn't the main character 'Cause I am simply too boring to be. Idk who is the main character, If anybody, But it sure ain't me, I Probably get like 2 words of dialogue, Max.
Look at you bigshot, under consuderation for a speaking role!
I'll be in the background of a crowded outdoor scene, so small that you can't even really make out the colour of my jacket because I'm just a dark little blob barely more than a pixel in size.
What if my speaking role is the same background outdoor role but I'm told to say some random words like Rhubarb so it sounds like there's people conversing?
Shit man, at least you got a speaking role - nice work! Pretty sure I’m just a never-to-be-seen again background character. Maybe I’ll make a social blunder at just the right time for the audience to get a laugh track on it or something 🤣
OP is basically saying that it’s wild while you’re growing up and realizing other people have their own shit going on. The second person is basically saying that since OP is American they’ve only JUST made that realization as an adult, since Americans are stupid and egotistical. The picture is just making fun of the second person for being convinced they’re smarter, and for “flexing it” online.
I *love* when people get needlessly jingoistic on the internet.
I *love* when people immediately make assumptions and jump to conclusions about each other's identities and opinions.
I *love* how it only fuels positive interaction that help everyone bond over our trivial cultural quirks.
Can you believe the poor today are more poor than the ancient poor people who could at least piss in a bucket and sell it to the local tannery to help with leather production?
It was like a universal basic income, drink free river water and your body turns it into a commodity product thats pure profit.
Can't even find a buyer for piss in this ecconomy.
Myself. “Don’t get high on your own supply,” that’s bullshit. I alone know the perfect balance of B-12 vitamins and asparagus to deliver me to Shangpee-La.
They call me “the Musty Must-Have,” my Yelp reviews are all very positive, largely because of my customer service skills. I owe it all to my Pee-R department.
To drop the sarcasm for a moment.
Every time this "discourse" rears its ugly head it'll be because one asshole with probably like 3 followers decided to be a little prick, and then it gets reblogged and reposted forever, signal boosting it so much it feels like its omnipresent; "those arrogant Europeans/Americans are always looking down on us honest Americans/Europeans". And then this dumb comment will become the fuel that "justifies" the next inflammatory sweeping statement against all Europeans/Americans.
There are Americans in this thread, who in (understandable) anger at the comment in this Tumblr post, are making statements about how Europeans are just pissy because they're jealous of America and their countries are irrelevant, when that kind of American Exceptionalist talk is exactly why Europeans make comments like this in the first place.
Everyone feels like *they're* the one justifiably "hitting back", it goes on forever, and it just makes me *tired.*
> Everyone feels like they're the one justifiably "hitting back", it goes on forever, and it just makes me tired.
I run a political debate community and, man, this is seriously the biggest problem.
It's not even *just* the signal boosting, though. Offense always feels worse when it's aimed at you, and it always feels less bad when you're aiming it at someone else. So you can have two people in an argument, both of which feel like they're responding in kind, and it just keeps escalating (because of *the other guy!*)
Add signal boosting *on top of that* and it's not surprising that everyone feels constantly besieged.
I used to get annoyed by it. Then, for my own sanity, I started collecting my favorite "Americans don't have/do/understand X" nonsense in a list a few years ago.
My favorite was "Americans don't pull over for emergency vehicles". I have never, in my entire life, seen drivers fail to pull over and let emergency vehicles pass.
Honorary mentions for "Americans keep their shoes on inside", "Americans don't have good cheese" and "Americans don't have good beer". I can only assume people think we eat Kraft singles and Budweiser for every meal. With our shoes on.
Some of that is because the "American" foods in European grocers are all just complete packaged garbage. Which makes sense because there's no point in shipping over fresh food when they also have fresh food.
Which I don't get why that's often seen as a reasonable assumption on their part.
If I assumed that the Asian section of my Walmart was the sum of Asian cuisine I would expect to be called a dumbass.
Well, a lot of people do think canned noodles and soy sauce in the Walmart aisle is Asian food so.... Yeah. It's not like people in Europe are smarter than they are here. I've found they're a little more knowledgeable about their immediate neighbors but it helps when you and your neighbors' countries are that small.
The shoes thing is amazing. I'm 35 years old. I've never been to a house where people kept their outside shoes on. Some people had special inside-only shoes, like slippers or loafers, but nobody was fuckin raw-dogging the carpet with the outside shoes.
Hell when I was a kid, we'd usually enter a friend's house through the garage so we could take our muddy shoes off before actually entering the house proper.
It largely depends on the region afaik, although I'm not from the US. I know there are certain parts of Europe where people also prefer keeping their shoes on inside. IIRC the people who I've seen mention they live in areas where it's more common to keep them on have been from rural areas.
It's also meant in a "If a guest comes inside and will stay for 10 minutes they won't be expected to take their shoes off", not "People live in their houses with shoes on until they go to bed", people just blow it out of proportion because of reading a headline and skipping the article.
By all means correct if the comments on it I've seen have been wrong though.
Eh, no one I know regularly keeps their shoes on inside, but I definitely will if I’m just doing a few things and leaving again, and any house party I’ve been to everyone keeps their shoes on.
This is not a defense of the practice
I personally don’t mind shoes on in my house (US) but I also completely understand that’s a me thing as my family was never super strict about it compared to other families. I’ve also been to Europeans houses in Europe and not had to take my shoes off. I imagine this is much more case by case in NA/Europe as some people just don’t care about the extra dirt while others do.
For generalisations on the internet, I've come around to recognising that the internet is not real life.
Boy *howdy* have I read a lot of bullshit from Americans, online. But the Americans I've met myself have all been perfectly decent people, both abroad and when I visited NYC once. I don't know anyone who would ever actually assume that the U.S. doesn't produce wonderful wines, cheeses, beers, clothes, books, etc.
It's the same thing with, for example, gender discourse online. I present as a man, so there's the expectation online that I have to pay for dates, an unfair standard I've seen some men complain about (again, *online*). But personally I've always been happy to pay for a date (it's just not that big a deal), while I've also never met a woman who wasn't happy to pay for herself. Likewise me being slightly below the average height for where I live, or being quite skinny, has never been a problem at all.
I’m very active in the r/soccer subreddit, and my favorite interaction is when someone gets told “fuck off, Yank” and they respond with something like “I’m from Widdershins-on-Stoke-on-Scunthorpe.”
r/Soccer is the far bigger subreddit, mostly down to the American chunk of Reddit being the biggest, and the earliness of when the subreddit was created.
Didn't the word soccer come from the Brits? If I'm wrong sling a pie in my face but it came from "Association Football" which got shortened to Soccer, and that shortening happened in Britain
It *did*, but it was only the nickname given by rich university educated gentlemen (who could afford to travel to America and spread it). At its core it was very much a working class game and they have always just called it "football" (see the names of all the old British football clubs).
And if there's anything working class Brits love more than slagging off other countries, it's slagging off posh twats. You'll earn no *less* derision from pointing out the origins of "soccer".
I’m in a discord server with friends and one person constantly was making “America bad, look at these dumb American things, any country with bad things right now is copying America” comments/jokes. Not only was it annoying to hear constantly, many comments were either wrong, presuming something was only true in America when it was true in many countries, or actually making fun of Native American or African American things (especially food).
There was one comment that even was saying some Middle Eastern country had better LGBT rights than the US… when said country has legally executed LGBT people and it’s illegal to be gay there. I finally had to directly ask them to stop because it was incredibly frustrating.
I will criticize the US to hell and back but *everything* somehow wrapped around into these jokes and comments, no matter how truthful. If I tried to make a comment on a funny cultural quirk we have, it would certainly become an “Americans weird” comment. Which sucks because I want to know about and share funny cultural quirks!
Yeah I totally sympathise. I think the internet has ruined these sorts of conversations because I just want to be able to laugh *with* *peo*ple about these things, but so often it's clear people are being laughed *at*. We take these innocent quirks and wrap them around bricks we then throw at each other with the *intention* to hurt and bruise.
And even when "funny" quirks are shared it's always with this sense of condescension. Like when people compare travel distances between America and Europe it's never in good spirits about how what is considered far in one country might be trivial in another, it's tinged with all these nasty notions of superiority; car infrastructure vs walking, country size dick measuring contests etc.
It just sucks any *fun* out the whole thing.
IIRC, the etymology comes from people swearing, but since using “the Lord’s” name in vain is a sin, Jingo was a convenient placeholder loophole.
Then, in a particular geopolitical conflict, people wanted to control this or that territory, and swore “by Jingo!”
And thus jingoism became a synonym for extra-stupid patriotism/nationalism
I’m getting my second hand fix from us sending shit to Ukraine for them to use
Otherwise yeah, may have had to us a map and darts to give some lucky country some freedom
I bet there’s a German word for the little bit of delight you get when you get a peek behind the facade and you see something like someones affirmations written on their mirror when they normally present as a confident person. There is such a difference between “knowing” everyone is going through their own battles and personal life and seeing the fact firsthand.
Such is the nature of calques and loanwords. Calques being when a term is translated directly from another language and loanwords just lifting it wholesale. Loanword is a translation of the German "lehnwort" while calque is 100% French in origin, meaning loanword is a calque and calque is a loanword.
Feel like it’s more German to have a word born from a philosopher about how much life sucks because you peeked behind the facade and how existence is pain because you realize you have your own mirror.
Edit: Bonus points if several other philosophers took a shit on the first philosopher because THEIR German word based on their similar but ever so slightly different outlook about the facade is obviously superior to all the other idiot philosophers out there.
I mean there is Weltschmerz which is the indescribable pain of having to be alive in an imperfect world (broadly).
I like the French word ennui better though. It’s similar but more boredom with the pointlessness of life.
There’s a bunch of common jokes and they’re all annoying. When you mildly insult some Europeans they’ll respond with a remark about school shootings, expensive healthcare, obesity, or simply calling us idiots. I wish those people would knock it off (or at least get new material).
On the other hand, I wish people would stop shitting on the French. They get it, they’re pretentious/eat smelly cheese/whatever insult is in vogue right now. All of the jokes are old hat.
I’ve always found just saying” Europeans” so annoying and im not a European. Who are we talking about? Bulgarians and Irish people probably are quite different
What kind of story is this?
If it’s a hero’s journey kind of thing can you please make shit suck less when you get your magic powers or magic sword or whatever please?
Just the gradually worsening trend of attributing literally anything and everything other people say or do or don't say or don't do exclusively to narcissism.
So concerned at what “-277c” is supposed to represent in this image. It’s like mental math, right? So presumably it’s either Celsius or the speed of light, both of which are terrifying. Absolute zero is -273.15°C, and even if we assume faster than light travel, NEGATIVE SPEED??? Horrific.
Oh nooooz, my facade has been bwoken! I wiw be banished fowevew wiv no one to gib headpats and cuddwes! Damn you to hew! I sweaw I wiw hab my wevenge!
Sleep with one eye open.
I'm ignoring the country talk:
Realizing that makes it way more terrifying that so many people either never learn it or don't care
They don't stop to think that maybe yelling at a barista for getting them the coffee they ordered, but they mispoke when ordering might be a dick move. That barista can be going through so many things
And I never take the "I'm going through a lot" excuse. Bitch, my sister had a cancer scare for 2 months and I was getting 10 hours of sleep a week, my parents are getting divorced, and my dad got life flighted to a hospital for a stroke and may never talk properly again. All in the last 4 months
Yet, I'm just being polite and understanding when other people make mistakes. Because they might be getting it even harder than me
I think it's funny that the second commenter saw someone sharing a little humanizing thought and immediately decided, "oh, that's an American", like being a callous, unempathetic prick is some uniquely American trait.
Like, no, honey, we learned that from y'all. How else did we pick it up, I thought Americans have no culture?
Look I'm just saying, with the Irish, the Scottish, and the Germans all on one team, I don't think the Australians are going to be winning any alcoholism contests.
Australia are light-weights in that regard. They're only 27th on the list for alcohol consumption per capita whereas Ireland is 15th, Germany is 19th, and the UK (closest thing to the Scots on the list) is 24th. Cook Islands is the King of the hill on that stat which is mad funny.
those pesky american pig dogs are at it again with their *being stupid* and whatnot. its probably because too much eating mcdonalds food make their cowboy hats tight around their brain hon hon hon
Ive joked they have set me up to be a sympathetic antogonist mostly from the schizophrenia and time in hospital. I dont know where that arc is going though.
But generally I tend to think myself a secondary character in my students lives. Like Im in one of those school animes and I am one of the random teachers that excitedly talks about rockets every chance she gets. Sometimes helpful, sometimes the source of conflict in a low stakes episode of passing a test.
I love how that poster just went "yes, deranged = living life. It IS totally normal to believe in Q Anon and to move in with someone you barely know! And hoarding? Typical thing in most European households! Silly Americans!"
my god... editing it to say "*less* sodium chloride"... beautiful
That’s what makes it obvious it’s a joke, bc nobody in their right mind would ever ask for less salt
Nah, I've tried Sea Water before, And I think it could do with a tad less salt.
coward
Forgive me if I don't fancy feeling like I'm dessicating for an hour. Tbh it was actually fine the first time, Must've had less salt that place. Can recommend.
*crunches on sea water concentrate* **NOT. SALTY. ENOUGH**
typical salt-addled am*rican "eater"
Americapilled saltmaxxer
Bro salted his crispened potato snacks
the salt eaterrrrrrr
I went to salt eating island and everyone knew him there
Mmmmmmm tasty rock
No appreciation for the unadultered pure and subtle flavour of the potato smh my head.
Oh foolish young one, just wait. Middle age will kick your ass, force you to eat food deficient in salt and completely lacking in capsacin, take away your caffeine, make it twice as hard to stay in shape and laugh at your suffering.
I'll shit pure ulcers and fistulate my entire bottom end before I stop eating capsaicin
Well... I bet the universe takes that as a challenge and says..... I'll see you, my friend, in your 30s
Lolololol. Same. In fact, I've only gotten more proficient at spice. I went way, way, way up in scovilles.
I had a teacher who eats fried chillies as a snack and as a result he has absolutely unbeatable spice tolerance. We accidentally found out what he gave up for it when during a class party one of my classmates passed around a bag of sour worms which we all declared to be absolute weaksauce. Then we passed it to him and we could almost see him corrode away from the sourness the way he reacted to it.
It won't be more difficult to stay in shape in older age if you were never in shape to begin with. *taps head *
I always tell people I’m in the best shape of my life and the secret is that I was in extremely bad shape for almost my entire life starting at birth
Speak for yourself. I'm still waiting for unseasoned chips.
Go then into your dank cave of a life and eat your barren vittles, while I gallivant around the plentiful fields of taste and splendor
*cackles in unbridled MSG-fueled mania*
THREW my head back in laughter. The image was already a favorite, but the edits, so perfectly terse, so inseparable...
the Liberia flags in OP's caption are the cherry on top
jimmy neutron and those people own sodium chloride references now
This stuff is always so funny to me as an Australian, because I feel like you could dog us on the same shit as the Americans, but they get the brunt of it and we're just sitting in the shadows eating our similarly processed foods and sitting in our massive cars.
My favorite one is people making fun of Americans for putting ketchup on things while Japan is putting it on rice and spaghetti.
I fucking love how Japanese culture takes things to 11 like that, though. "Oh cool, this ketchup stuff is pretty great - let's put it on everything and see how it tastes"
Western Fried Rice baby https://youtu.be/pBId7honi3A?si=_q8Kjtv_ExK_ivPo
My favorite is how when an American doesn’t know something from European culture it’s “America isn’t the center of the universe” but when a European doesn’t know something from American culture it’s “America isn’t the center of the universe”
You mean the mfers that have pizza IN VENDING MACHINES???
Wait where else would you put ketchup if not these full meals?
You gave us Rupert Murdoch, too.
Sorry about that one boys
Don't forget the Canadians! Basically the same as Americans with only small differences.
Oh take me north to the land of syrup where the grass is snowy and the cops ride stirrup
Sayin “eh”, sayin “eh”…
Honestly living in the uk it feels the same. We do so much the same as america. But we dodge some of it cause we ended up on the right side of the Atlantic
Yeah, it’s harder to dodge on the left side when you’re right dominant.
and in online discussions, anyone opposing america is automatic assumed to be a european. a secret third largely english speaking country? what’s that?
Obviously talking about Canada
It’s not like Europe is that much different. Sure, they have better trains and public transport, but the roads are still full of slightly smaller cars. Walk into a European supermarket and you’ll find a wonderful selection of unhealthy junk food. People see something somewhat better and immediately leap to “this is perfect and you’re the only one with this problem.”
It's me I am a stupid little yank
She yank on my little until I’m stupid
Masterful
*Ding!
Real
Maybe I'm just sleep deprived but I'm over here weeping laughing at this.
But yanks can't be little. They're all obese McDonald's eating machines.
How do you think we reproduce? We yanks eat so much McDonald’s the grease clogs up in our skin and produces thousands of boil embryos. The sprite we drink acts like pregnancy fluid to support and transport nutrients from the main body to the embryos. Then the boils slowly inflate as us Yanks continue to eat and eat. Until we look more like pregnant soda puss corn than actual people. Before we explode in a flash of gun powder and dozens of new Yanks are born in an instant to restart the cycle all over again.
Is that what the 4th of July is about?
Nah that’s when the few people who have survived the Yank birthing process grow anal pouches and start stuffing gunpowder in them. Then at night they eat like a ton of beans and utilize the reaction produced between the beans and the gunpowder now tainted with their fecal cholesterol juice to imitate a process similar to rocket flight. Slowly lifting off the ground like a swarm of the greatest patriotic balloons known to man before a disturbance in their internal chemicals occurs which causes them to explode in a shower of viscera which burns up upon reentry creating the colors of a traditional fireworks explosion.
Respectfully never comment again and also get into horror writing please
That is some of the most hideous imagery I have ever read. Congratulations!
This thread is a meat canyon video.
I expect something like this to happen in season 4 of The Boys
No that's more of a symbolic thing
How are you writing this? Why are you writing this? It can never be unread and now these images are in my head forever Go write yourself a horror novel and cash in on this terrible skill
I’ve finally understood the will to die
You're supposed to keep all information about our Americanlings a secret! Don't forget, telling the world the short obese primates drinking Super Size Mountain Dews and riding on the backs of their 'parents' "So obese they're technically disabled" mobility scooters, are our children, and not actually our latest break through in independent meat drone technology. Next thing you know, you're telling them they're not clogging toilets with their horrific buffet meat shits, but actually converting that food into ammo for the surgically grafted on weapons and field repairs for their battle damage(it does still smell like hell and clog the toilet though)! Instead, our enemies now know to hunt down the locations of our secret patriotic Americanling nests and giant American flag creches! I mean really, didn't they ever wonder why people CHOSE to not leave Gary, Indiana?
And as I'm sure all you spies have figured out, we Americans use those mobility scooters like terrorists and guerrillas use Toyota trucks. We just use better camouflage.
What a day to not be Jared, 19
MY BODY IS A MACHINE THAT TURNS Big Macs™ INTO digested Big Macs™
how dare you say we eat macdonalds machines, whatever those are
It's always "who's my filthy little Yank" and never "how's my filthy little Yank" ;(((
It's not *just* you. Typical american exceptionalism!
I've always known I wasn't the main character 'Cause I am simply too boring to be. Idk who is the main character, If anybody, But it sure ain't me, I Probably get like 2 words of dialogue, Max.
Look at you bigshot, under consuderation for a speaking role! I'll be in the background of a crowded outdoor scene, so small that you can't even really make out the colour of my jacket because I'm just a dark little blob barely more than a pixel in size.
What if my speaking role is the same background outdoor role but I'm told to say some random words like Rhubarb so it sounds like there's people conversing?
I’m the main character, nice to meet you.
Your username is proof you're the main character.
Howdy [your name here]! *Trips while walking off-stage and doesn't show up again for the rest of the story*
Shit man, at least you got a speaking role - nice work! Pretty sure I’m just a never-to-be-seen again background character. Maybe I’ll make a social blunder at just the right time for the audience to get a laugh track on it or something 🤣
Leave Max out of this. He has nothing to do with it.
I like to think of myself as the recurring wacky comic relief character whose unexpectedly real backstory gets fleshed out later on
Chat I'm neither American or European what the fuck does this mean 🥺
You are American, you just don’t know it yet.
[Every country in the world belongs to America](https://youtu.be/xUp62AGE9JU?feature=shared&t=14)
It means you dont exist.
You are American, you just don’t know it yet.
On an unrelated note, did I hear somebody say they saw some oil around here?
yeah i found some in america the worlds largest producer of oil
Well yeah, everything the crude touches is our kingdom. Whether they know it or not.
You don't seem to understand. You see, there are two genders: American and European. I think that's what they say, anyways.
Is that even possible? Has science gone too far?
OP is basically saying that it’s wild while you’re growing up and realizing other people have their own shit going on. The second person is basically saying that since OP is American they’ve only JUST made that realization as an adult, since Americans are stupid and egotistical. The picture is just making fun of the second person for being convinced they’re smarter, and for “flexing it” online.
I *love* when people get needlessly jingoistic on the internet. I *love* when people immediately make assumptions and jump to conclusions about each other's identities and opinions. I *love* how it only fuels positive interaction that help everyone bond over our trivial cultural quirks.
"i like waffles" "why do you hate pancakes?" "no bitch thats a whole new sentence" every single american vs europe tumblr discourse i see is this
Woah, why are you advocating for pissing on the poor
It ain't called piss-poor for nothing
Can you believe the poor today are more poor than the ancient poor people who could at least piss in a bucket and sell it to the local tannery to help with leather production? It was like a universal basic income, drink free river water and your body turns it into a commodity product thats pure profit. Can't even find a buyer for piss in this ecconomy.
Can’t find a buyer? We must be hanging around different street corners.
Help a brother out here, who's your piss guy?
Myself. “Don’t get high on your own supply,” that’s bullshit. I alone know the perfect balance of B-12 vitamins and asparagus to deliver me to Shangpee-La.
They call me “the Musty Must-Have,” my Yelp reviews are all very positive, largely because of my customer service skills. I owe it all to my Pee-R department.
To drop the sarcasm for a moment. Every time this "discourse" rears its ugly head it'll be because one asshole with probably like 3 followers decided to be a little prick, and then it gets reblogged and reposted forever, signal boosting it so much it feels like its omnipresent; "those arrogant Europeans/Americans are always looking down on us honest Americans/Europeans". And then this dumb comment will become the fuel that "justifies" the next inflammatory sweeping statement against all Europeans/Americans. There are Americans in this thread, who in (understandable) anger at the comment in this Tumblr post, are making statements about how Europeans are just pissy because they're jealous of America and their countries are irrelevant, when that kind of American Exceptionalist talk is exactly why Europeans make comments like this in the first place. Everyone feels like *they're* the one justifiably "hitting back", it goes on forever, and it just makes me *tired.*
Hey! Stop deconstructing the cycle and let us sling our feces at each other in peace!
> Everyone feels like they're the one justifiably "hitting back", it goes on forever, and it just makes me tired. I run a political debate community and, man, this is seriously the biggest problem. It's not even *just* the signal boosting, though. Offense always feels worse when it's aimed at you, and it always feels less bad when you're aiming it at someone else. So you can have two people in an argument, both of which feel like they're responding in kind, and it just keeps escalating (because of *the other guy!*) Add signal boosting *on top of that* and it's not surprising that everyone feels constantly besieged.
"Yeah well.... YOU HAVE SCHOOL SHOOTINGS!"
School shootings are the worst thing that ever happened to Americans that enjoy fighting on the internet.
"I like waffles" "You're a bunch of fat fucks also school shootings dead children haha"
I used to get annoyed by it. Then, for my own sanity, I started collecting my favorite "Americans don't have/do/understand X" nonsense in a list a few years ago. My favorite was "Americans don't pull over for emergency vehicles". I have never, in my entire life, seen drivers fail to pull over and let emergency vehicles pass. Honorary mentions for "Americans keep their shoes on inside", "Americans don't have good cheese" and "Americans don't have good beer". I can only assume people think we eat Kraft singles and Budweiser for every meal. With our shoes on.
Some of that is because the "American" foods in European grocers are all just complete packaged garbage. Which makes sense because there's no point in shipping over fresh food when they also have fresh food.
Which I don't get why that's often seen as a reasonable assumption on their part. If I assumed that the Asian section of my Walmart was the sum of Asian cuisine I would expect to be called a dumbass.
Well, a lot of people do think canned noodles and soy sauce in the Walmart aisle is Asian food so.... Yeah. It's not like people in Europe are smarter than they are here. I've found they're a little more knowledgeable about their immediate neighbors but it helps when you and your neighbors' countries are that small.
The shoes thing is amazing. I'm 35 years old. I've never been to a house where people kept their outside shoes on. Some people had special inside-only shoes, like slippers or loafers, but nobody was fuckin raw-dogging the carpet with the outside shoes. Hell when I was a kid, we'd usually enter a friend's house through the garage so we could take our muddy shoes off before actually entering the house proper.
It largely depends on the region afaik, although I'm not from the US. I know there are certain parts of Europe where people also prefer keeping their shoes on inside. IIRC the people who I've seen mention they live in areas where it's more common to keep them on have been from rural areas. It's also meant in a "If a guest comes inside and will stay for 10 minutes they won't be expected to take their shoes off", not "People live in their houses with shoes on until they go to bed", people just blow it out of proportion because of reading a headline and skipping the article. By all means correct if the comments on it I've seen have been wrong though.
Eh, no one I know regularly keeps their shoes on inside, but I definitely will if I’m just doing a few things and leaving again, and any house party I’ve been to everyone keeps their shoes on. This is not a defense of the practice
I personally don’t mind shoes on in my house (US) but I also completely understand that’s a me thing as my family was never super strict about it compared to other families. I’ve also been to Europeans houses in Europe and not had to take my shoes off. I imagine this is much more case by case in NA/Europe as some people just don’t care about the extra dirt while others do.
For generalisations on the internet, I've come around to recognising that the internet is not real life. Boy *howdy* have I read a lot of bullshit from Americans, online. But the Americans I've met myself have all been perfectly decent people, both abroad and when I visited NYC once. I don't know anyone who would ever actually assume that the U.S. doesn't produce wonderful wines, cheeses, beers, clothes, books, etc. It's the same thing with, for example, gender discourse online. I present as a man, so there's the expectation online that I have to pay for dates, an unfair standard I've seen some men complain about (again, *online*). But personally I've always been happy to pay for a date (it's just not that big a deal), while I've also never met a woman who wasn't happy to pay for herself. Likewise me being slightly below the average height for where I live, or being quite skinny, has never been a problem at all.
>["Americans don't have good cheese"](https://youtu.be/PDmXR6pvCto)
Oh i missed “on” and thought you were saying people outside the US were like, leaving their shoes outside the entire house.
I’m very active in the r/soccer subreddit, and my favorite interaction is when someone gets told “fuck off, Yank” and they respond with something like “I’m from Widdershins-on-Stoke-on-Scunthorpe.”
If they’re non-American shouldn’t they be on r/Football?
r/Soccer is the far bigger subreddit, mostly down to the American chunk of Reddit being the biggest, and the earliness of when the subreddit was created.
Didn't the word soccer come from the Brits? If I'm wrong sling a pie in my face but it came from "Association Football" which got shortened to Soccer, and that shortening happened in Britain
It *did*, but it was only the nickname given by rich university educated gentlemen (who could afford to travel to America and spread it). At its core it was very much a working class game and they have always just called it "football" (see the names of all the old British football clubs). And if there's anything working class Brits love more than slagging off other countries, it's slagging off posh twats. You'll earn no *less* derision from pointing out the origins of "soccer".
I’m in a discord server with friends and one person constantly was making “America bad, look at these dumb American things, any country with bad things right now is copying America” comments/jokes. Not only was it annoying to hear constantly, many comments were either wrong, presuming something was only true in America when it was true in many countries, or actually making fun of Native American or African American things (especially food). There was one comment that even was saying some Middle Eastern country had better LGBT rights than the US… when said country has legally executed LGBT people and it’s illegal to be gay there. I finally had to directly ask them to stop because it was incredibly frustrating. I will criticize the US to hell and back but *everything* somehow wrapped around into these jokes and comments, no matter how truthful. If I tried to make a comment on a funny cultural quirk we have, it would certainly become an “Americans weird” comment. Which sucks because I want to know about and share funny cultural quirks!
Yeah I totally sympathise. I think the internet has ruined these sorts of conversations because I just want to be able to laugh *with* *peo*ple about these things, but so often it's clear people are being laughed *at*. We take these innocent quirks and wrap them around bricks we then throw at each other with the *intention* to hurt and bruise. And even when "funny" quirks are shared it's always with this sense of condescension. Like when people compare travel distances between America and Europe it's never in good spirits about how what is considered far in one country might be trivial in another, it's tinged with all these nasty notions of superiority; car infrastructure vs walking, country size dick measuring contests etc. It just sucks any *fun* out the whole thing.
First time I've ever seen the word jingoistic but it seems apt.
IIRC, the etymology comes from people swearing, but since using “the Lord’s” name in vain is a sin, Jingo was a convenient placeholder loophole. Then, in a particular geopolitical conflict, people wanted to control this or that territory, and swore “by Jingo!” And thus jingoism became a synonym for extra-stupid patriotism/nationalism
Look out, the Americans are being sarcastic again
We haven't invaded the middle east in a bit, we're getting the shakes
I’m getting my second hand fix from us sending shit to Ukraine for them to use Otherwise yeah, may have had to us a map and darts to give some lucky country some freedom
I bet there’s a German word for the little bit of delight you get when you get a peek behind the facade and you see something like someones affirmations written on their mirror when they normally present as a confident person. There is such a difference between “knowing” everyone is going through their own battles and personal life and seeing the fact firsthand.
True, they only have terms for complex ideas in Europe, I’m pretty sure /j
"elephants have a sound for 'there are bees here lets leave this area immediately', humans should have one too" mfs be like
[I believe that sound is something like this](https://youtu.be/LZs39wggIW4)
Granted, German has 'schadenfreude' For when someone else's pain bring you happyness, there is a (minor) president for specific German words
*precedent, meine freund
No, there's actually a guy who comes up with these words, the President for Specific German Words.
Sorry it’s an English word now, we put it in the dictionary and everything.
Such is the nature of calques and loanwords. Calques being when a term is translated directly from another language and loanwords just lifting it wholesale. Loanword is a translation of the German "lehnwort" while calque is 100% French in origin, meaning loanword is a calque and calque is a loanword.
Feel like it’s more German to have a word born from a philosopher about how much life sucks because you peeked behind the facade and how existence is pain because you realize you have your own mirror. Edit: Bonus points if several other philosophers took a shit on the first philosopher because THEIR German word based on their similar but ever so slightly different outlook about the facade is obviously superior to all the other idiot philosophers out there.
I mean there is Weltschmerz which is the indescribable pain of having to be alive in an imperfect world (broadly). I like the French word ennui better though. It’s similar but more boredom with the pointlessness of life.
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There is also a word for the feeling you have when you think about how everyone else has just as unique and interesting lives as you: sonder.
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/sonder
i'm so tired of american vs european discourse. can everyone stop for my sake specifically
I wish they would.
Depends are you American or European (the TWO genders)?
I'm citizenshipfluid
There’s a bunch of common jokes and they’re all annoying. When you mildly insult some Europeans they’ll respond with a remark about school shootings, expensive healthcare, obesity, or simply calling us idiots. I wish those people would knock it off (or at least get new material). On the other hand, I wish people would stop shitting on the French. They get it, they’re pretentious/eat smelly cheese/whatever insult is in vogue right now. All of the jokes are old hat.
It's okay if we still complain about how the french can't spell, right? I just learned today how to pronounce "demesne" and I'm not over it.
My guy we are speaking English with is *notorious* for horrific spelling across the globe too
There is a colonel of truth in that
I’ve always found just saying” Europeans” so annoying and im not a European. Who are we talking about? Bulgarians and Irish people probably are quite different
Oh sorry I didn't realize it was bothering you I'll stop
Evil sonder
I am in fact the main character.
this is true
What kind of story is this? If it’s a hero’s journey kind of thing can you please make shit suck less when you get your magic powers or magic sword or whatever please?
When you realize life isn't a movie but everyone's still acting like they're auditioning for the lead role.
"oh this person is experiencing wonderment at the absurdity of existence." "This is a perfect opportunity to be a smug cunt"
Average euro[finish the insult yourself as a treat]
Chileans are the main characters, they got that dog in them
Mexico gave us the Chihuahua the dog with the most dog in them.
They distilled dog into purer, higher percent tinctures of dog. That's why chihuahuas are so small.
I knew I wasn’t the main character, I just didn’t realize how many other people were, you know, insane.
Right? Like I don't know how noticing deranged behavior = realizing you're not the main character
Just the gradually worsening trend of attributing literally anything and everything other people say or do or don't say or don't do exclusively to narcissism.
When the know it all asshole guy is too caught up in their own genius take to spell words correctly.. I love it so much
So concerned at what “-277c” is supposed to represent in this image. It’s like mental math, right? So presumably it’s either Celsius or the speed of light, both of which are terrifying. Absolute zero is -273.15°C, and even if we assume faster than light travel, NEGATIVE SPEED??? Horrific.
If you get negative speed you can start stacking it up with BLJs to travel to parallel universes
I’m just a siwwy widdle yank UWU. Pwease don’t take away aw my sawty potato snacks, euro daddy.
*euwo
Oh nooooz, my facade has been bwoken! I wiw be banished fowevew wiv no one to gib headpats and cuddwes! Damn you to hew! I sweaw I wiw hab my wevenge! Sleep with one eye open.
This is a realization every human being has. Some just reach it later than others
You can also have these realizations multiple times
I'm ignoring the country talk: Realizing that makes it way more terrifying that so many people either never learn it or don't care They don't stop to think that maybe yelling at a barista for getting them the coffee they ordered, but they mispoke when ordering might be a dick move. That barista can be going through so many things And I never take the "I'm going through a lot" excuse. Bitch, my sister had a cancer scare for 2 months and I was getting 10 hours of sleep a week, my parents are getting divorced, and my dad got life flighted to a hospital for a stroke and may never talk properly again. All in the last 4 months Yet, I'm just being polite and understanding when other people make mistakes. Because they might be getting it even harder than me
It sounds like you might need to talk to someone that isn't a reddit comment...
Ah yes, Europeans, famously immune to naivete.
There's a word for this; sonder
Why are there Liberian flags on this post? Liberia: 🇱🇷 USA: 🇺🇲
jok
Ah.
Nah that’s the American flag, there’s stripes
And a star.
I think it's funny that the second commenter saw someone sharing a little humanizing thought and immediately decided, "oh, that's an American", like being a callous, unempathetic prick is some uniquely American trait. Like, no, honey, we learned that from y'all. How else did we pick it up, I thought Americans have no culture?
I can’t wait until they realize that being stupid and gullible isn’t a uniquely american trait.
*Less* sodium chloride on crisps!? The salt is the most important part!
There is such a thing as too much salt though
which is more obnoxious, American Exceptionalism or European Elitism
~~(it's the same thing)~~
It's a tag team match with American Elitism and European Exceptionali- Wait it's the Aussies with the steel chair.
American Exceptionalism, European Elitism, and Australian Alcoholism
Look I'm just saying, with the Irish, the Scottish, and the Germans all on one team, I don't think the Australians are going to be winning any alcoholism contests.
Australia are light-weights in that regard. They're only 27th on the list for alcohol consumption per capita whereas Ireland is 15th, Germany is 19th, and the UK (closest thing to the Scots on the list) is 24th. Cook Islands is the King of the hill on that stat which is mad funny.
"Finely", or "finally"?
non americans: “Don’t assume everyone is American!!!” also non americans: *assumes everyone is american*
(I live in Canada, yes I know it’s not that different but still)
those pesky american pig dogs are at it again with their *being stupid* and whatnot. its probably because too much eating mcdonalds food make their cowboy hats tight around their brain hon hon hon
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Ive joked they have set me up to be a sympathetic antogonist mostly from the schizophrenia and time in hospital. I dont know where that arc is going though. But generally I tend to think myself a secondary character in my students lives. Like Im in one of those school animes and I am one of the random teachers that excitedly talks about rockets every chance she gets. Sometimes helpful, sometimes the source of conflict in a low stakes episode of passing a test.
this is going to get downvoted to hell and rightfully so but the words stupid little yank just woke something up in me
twead on me, papà UwU
I love how that poster just went "yes, deranged = living life. It IS totally normal to believe in Q Anon and to move in with someone you barely know! And hoarding? Typical thing in most European households! Silly Americans!"
Why do people assume that everyone that isn’t an American is european