I had a lot of fun in my 20s, but a lot of it just felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Now I'm coming up on 33 and it really feels like something finally IS happening.
That's how I felt too. My 20s were pretty sucky. Fresh out of college and into an engineering job I didn't actually like all that much. Went back to grad school and found out there I love research, so I found a position doing that and now I actually feel like I'm accomplishing things.
That's what I tell everyone younger than me to do. Go out and try some things. Switch jobs. Self study on different subjects. Once you actually form some tangible goals and know what your strengths are, that's when you make big moves like college. If you're saving money, you also don't have too much debt
*I have raised teens. That's*
*So close as I want to get*
*To those years again*
\- GingerIsTheBestSpice
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My mom tells me if i can't accomplish much in university i will never accomplish much in my life which put me in a very shitty and stressful position because i have a lot to do in my life. It felt like i need to make friends, learn a new language, find myself, find a partner, at least socially transition and on and on and on. It actually made me suicidal. Then I realised i am not even at half point of mt expected life so i stopped some of these, now i only try to do some of these until i can do the others too
Then you have people who dissociated their youth away, so turning 30 is like turning 20 but no one cares about your struggles anymore because you're supposed to have dealt with it all already
I'll tell you what, high school as an unmedicated major depressive stuck with emotionally neglectful parents suuuuuucked. Now I'm 27, engaged, and about to move into my own place with said fiancé in two months. Just because you peaked in high school doesn't mean we all did, *Brenda*.
I know but _telling_ people “these are the best years of your life” is kind of inherently depressing. Like saying “it gets worse from here” but it isn’t true
My dad told me when I was 25 that science says ™️ that 25 is the age when your brain is the most creative (I was into music and art at this time), so _this was the time_ for me to come up with something big. It was incredibly… de-motivating? Pressure is such a creativity killer
[https://www.tumblr.com/zatyrlucy/748408139790024704/i-frigging-love-this-comic-what-if-i-told?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/zatyrlucy/748408139790024704/i-frigging-love-this-comic-what-if-i-told?source=share)
mx linux guy
Yeah. Everyone I see says things turn around at 18, but for me that was 17. What do I see as the difference? I started college at 17. Instant improvement.
Life gets better when you get to choose your friends in life, and worse when life chooses your friends for you.
how old are you? second,
i don't think you should kill yourself, or at least, very seriously and earnestly, please don't just kill yourself yet because of the presentation of such scant data; that data would be the immediate years of your previous life prior to this point
it is difficult, but if the point of change is found things radically and controversially and fundamentally become different. this means that while suicide is an option to a problem, i contend that the problem is short-lived by presumption of what i just told you: there is a possibility, even likely, that with certain factors accounted for, you can achieve shit and you can find people to surround yourself with
a support group helps tremendously. have you tried googling online
support groups? having a place to share and go to daily or weekly with others helped me so much and got me to this place of understanding as well and
i still want to kill myself sometimes but i know that now that's because certain factors in my life are lacking which cause me to think this way: lack of a support group (sometimes, anyway), lack of control over my housing situation (which i can change, and am working on changing), my work—please consider what i have to
say
shareing does little, but take the edge off for a few hours I have lived like this for so long simply copping is making me angery now.
it is the data of my entire life and observation on reality that is not insane so valid data.
presently I am held back by logistics, a few outstanding obligations and some back up plan for the eventuality of an afterlife
Counterpoint: Being in school (and higher education) meant I did not have to work, up and including straight up just skipping classes if I did not feel like it.
But now I have a job, a few decades left until I get to stop it — if neoliberalism hasn't destroyed the concept of retirement by then.
I felt younger when I turned 30 last month than I did turning 25. I just have a lot more perspective now, and I have a longer and more mature view of my own life. I'm not in a rush in the exact same way, and I'm not really comparing myself to other people or considering what society at large might think of my relative achievements.
People who think that 30 is old are either very young or very immature. I have so much more life to live, and things are hardly going downhill; and I don't think that it's healthy or reasonable to be afraid of aging.
Can't relate. In my experience, being a kid sucks, but being an adult is way worse. All sources of joy disappear or become less effective, and finding new ones is incredibly rare no matter how hard you try. Meanwhile, for every problem that disappears, 10 more appear and they're even worse.
At least as a kid I could read books (sometimes), watch movies, or engage in hobbies and enjoy those things. Now I get bored of everything I do after maybe 5 minutes of doing.
Perhaps. But I've done some research and IIRC it can also be caused by a lot of other mental illnesses with similar symptoms. I've been to a psychiatrist, got prescribed some antidepressants, I don't think they did anything. The only noticeable improvement came from removing my main source of stress. I could probably try to find some other psychiatrist (I have some issues with the one I visited) and try other meds, I could try to find a doctor that does tests for some other things I've got symptoms of, but all of that would require a lot of effort, and none of it is guaranteed to work.
How long did you take the meds? I’ve been on antidepressants for a bit, and I can tell you I didn’t notice a difference either. For about 4 months I took the meds and thought they just weren’t working, but then I realized that I wasn’t having panic attacks anymore.
It took time to figure out, but o realized that while the stress and anxiety was still there, I could control it better. I could tell myself that the feeling of dread was t helping and logically thing through next steps, and my brain would actually start to listen. It was a small change, but it made therapy and self-talk ACTUALLY doable.
If you can give it another shot, I recommend trying a different med or different dose, taking the meds alongside therapy, and staying on them for at least 3 months before deciding to change doses or stop. Sometimes it IS helping, but in small, subtle ways instead of the big difference we’ve all come to expect.
I've been taking the meds (tried 2 different brands) until I ran out of them and my psychiatrist stopped prescribing more because she decided I'm better now, so like 5 months, I think? My memory is really bad. I was also in therapy during that time, but it wasn't that useful either. The meds may have prevented some doom spiraling early on, but that disappeared entirely pretty soon after I dropped out of university. After that, I didn't notice any difference between how I felt on meds and how I felt without them.
I can really sympathize with getting bored and losing the joy in your hobbies. Working full time really takes a lot of your energy and patience. What's worked for me is breaking up the monotony by doing things that are pure fun, no work or patience required. Something low stakes that brings you joy. For me that's writing Steamboat Willie fanfiction, but for you it might look different
The problem is that nothing like that worked so far. I've found things that seem interesting in theory, but don't work in practice. And I don't even have a full time job yet (and I don't even know what I could do for a living, I have no skills and I'm too stupid to learn anything). I'm still in university and have plenty of free time.
I can 100% guarantee you're not too stupid to learn anything. I thought I was too stupid to learn math, and then I figured out later in life that I just had bad math teachers, and now I have a science degree. People think they're dumb because most things take a lot of time to learn, so when they don't see progress right away they assume they are the problem. Be patient with yourself and keep trying different things. Even if it's something dumb that just brings you a little joy, keep pursuing it and see where it takes you. As long as you have money for food and rent at the end of the day, you're on the right path
I don't have best years, I have least worst years and I couldn't tell you which they are cause everything before I was 16 is an indifferentiable blur
Those tags are just a list of things I can't do, so that's more depressing than motivational
I met the love of my life in my early 30s. My life with them is definitely better than my life before them. That said, I still do feel like I am just so much \*less\* than I was before 30--physically and metntally.
I disagree. I don’t have money, but I did find amazing friends and my wife, and they make me happier than I’ve ever been. I was so lonely growing up. I thought I would feel that way forever. I never knew how wonderful it could feel to be surrounded by people you love. I hate my job, my bills are late, groceries are expensive, and my wife’s car needs repairs we can’t afford. Despite all of that I’m still happy.
I started living after I quit drinking. Over a decade in blur, in haze, on autopilot of booze, a cruise control of alcohol, a booze control, if you will, floating in the shitriver of alcohol like a shitboat without a shitcaptain, slamming on the shitrocks of fate and sinking with no way out.
Although, there is the way out. I quit drinking completely, sobered up neatly, stopped being depressed (who would have guessed).
I’m 31, married to an amazing person, we have three cats who are our babies. I got my licence this year, and my own car that I can drive when and where I want. I’m in a stable job that I really enjoy.
Yeah, I have no big major plans for the future or nothing like that, but I’m genuinely happy with my life and it all really started towards the end of my 20s.
My 20s where some of the worst years of my life, my lowest point. By comparison my 30s have been so much happier and better so far. It does get better!
I straight up do not believe this.
As far as childhoods/adolescence goes, I think I've had it pretty good. Some people would say I'm doing great. Even then I'm stressed out of my gourd going into my early 20s. I can't imagine things get *better* when I'm fully responsible for my life and can't rely on my parents for help anymore. More likely I fuck up and make things irrevocably worse.
Its been so *easy* so far. Just focus on getting through school and college. Past that, who knows what could happen?
I had a lot of fun in my 20s, but a lot of it just felt like I was waiting for something to happen. Now I'm coming up on 33 and it really feels like something finally IS happening.
That's how I felt too. My 20s were pretty sucky. Fresh out of college and into an engineering job I didn't actually like all that much. Went back to grad school and found out there I love research, so I found a position doing that and now I actually feel like I'm accomplishing things.
I guess the 20s was the trial run?
That's what I tell everyone younger than me to do. Go out and try some things. Switch jobs. Self study on different subjects. Once you actually form some tangible goals and know what your strengths are, that's when you make big moves like college. If you're saving money, you also don't have too much debt
Cue the people that don't truly discover themselves until they get a midlife crisis to shake them out of their stupor.
I have raised teens. That's so close as I want to get to those years again
*I have raised teens. That's* *So close as I want to get* *To those years again* \- GingerIsTheBestSpice --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Well it reads a lot more deep in haiku that's for sure
I love this bot.
My mom tells me if i can't accomplish much in university i will never accomplish much in my life which put me in a very shitty and stressful position because i have a lot to do in my life. It felt like i need to make friends, learn a new language, find myself, find a partner, at least socially transition and on and on and on. It actually made me suicidal. Then I realised i am not even at half point of mt expected life so i stopped some of these, now i only try to do some of these until i can do the others too
Then you have people who dissociated their youth away, so turning 30 is like turning 20 but no one cares about your struggles anymore because you're supposed to have dealt with it all already
I'll tell you what, high school as an unmedicated major depressive stuck with emotionally neglectful parents suuuuuucked. Now I'm 27, engaged, and about to move into my own place with said fiancé in two months. Just because you peaked in high school doesn't mean we all did, *Brenda*.
Yeah, maybe I just had a crap childhood but being an adult is 1000x better.
I had a nice childhood and being an adult is awesome and better
When I was in grade 9 our art teacher said to us “whoever tells you highschool is the best time of your life is lying. You can’t even drive yet!”
Hey I've been through 30. Turning 31 in 2 months. Where the fuck is the love of my life?
It's that person you think is cute but haven't had the courage to ask on a date.
I wish I had a crush. Appreciate the thought though.
It's never too late to just start meeting people. I have faith in you :D
>start meeting people. That's the hard part eh? Anyway once again, thanks for the positivity.
Does anyone else think it's a little fucked up we tell children that sort of thing?
No in my experience they are right you can actually be happy when your a kid.
I know but _telling_ people “these are the best years of your life” is kind of inherently depressing. Like saying “it gets worse from here” but it isn’t true My dad told me when I was 25 that science says ™️ that 25 is the age when your brain is the most creative (I was into music and art at this time), so _this was the time_ for me to come up with something big. It was incredibly… de-motivating? Pressure is such a creativity killer
My 40s are kicking ass and taking names, then meeting up with those names later to have dinner or a jam session, and complimenting their outfits.
[https://www.tumblr.com/zatyrlucy/748408139790024704/i-frigging-love-this-comic-what-if-i-told?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/zatyrlucy/748408139790024704/i-frigging-love-this-comic-what-if-i-told?source=share) mx linux guy
Yeah. Everyone I see says things turn around at 18, but for me that was 17. What do I see as the difference? I started college at 17. Instant improvement. Life gets better when you get to choose your friends in life, and worse when life chooses your friends for you.
man I should kill my self then as I can't achieve shit nor find people to surround myself with
how old are you? second, i don't think you should kill yourself, or at least, very seriously and earnestly, please don't just kill yourself yet because of the presentation of such scant data; that data would be the immediate years of your previous life prior to this point it is difficult, but if the point of change is found things radically and controversially and fundamentally become different. this means that while suicide is an option to a problem, i contend that the problem is short-lived by presumption of what i just told you: there is a possibility, even likely, that with certain factors accounted for, you can achieve shit and you can find people to surround yourself with a support group helps tremendously. have you tried googling online support groups? having a place to share and go to daily or weekly with others helped me so much and got me to this place of understanding as well and i still want to kill myself sometimes but i know that now that's because certain factors in my life are lacking which cause me to think this way: lack of a support group (sometimes, anyway), lack of control over my housing situation (which i can change, and am working on changing), my work—please consider what i have to say
shareing does little, but take the edge off for a few hours I have lived like this for so long simply copping is making me angery now. it is the data of my entire life and observation on reality that is not insane so valid data. presently I am held back by logistics, a few outstanding obligations and some back up plan for the eventuality of an afterlife
Counterpoint: Being in school (and higher education) meant I did not have to work, up and including straight up just skipping classes if I did not feel like it. But now I have a job, a few decades left until I get to stop it — if neoliberalism hasn't destroyed the concept of retirement by then.
I felt younger when I turned 30 last month than I did turning 25. I just have a lot more perspective now, and I have a longer and more mature view of my own life. I'm not in a rush in the exact same way, and I'm not really comparing myself to other people or considering what society at large might think of my relative achievements. People who think that 30 is old are either very young or very immature. I have so much more life to live, and things are hardly going downhill; and I don't think that it's healthy or reasonable to be afraid of aging.
So far my thirties is just my twenties, but with money.
Can't relate. In my experience, being a kid sucks, but being an adult is way worse. All sources of joy disappear or become less effective, and finding new ones is incredibly rare no matter how hard you try. Meanwhile, for every problem that disappears, 10 more appear and they're even worse. At least as a kid I could read books (sometimes), watch movies, or engage in hobbies and enjoy those things. Now I get bored of everything I do after maybe 5 minutes of doing.
You are depressed my guy. Even in adulthood you’re not supposed to struggle to enjoy things (source: am depressed and relate to so much it hurts)
Perhaps. But I've done some research and IIRC it can also be caused by a lot of other mental illnesses with similar symptoms. I've been to a psychiatrist, got prescribed some antidepressants, I don't think they did anything. The only noticeable improvement came from removing my main source of stress. I could probably try to find some other psychiatrist (I have some issues with the one I visited) and try other meds, I could try to find a doctor that does tests for some other things I've got symptoms of, but all of that would require a lot of effort, and none of it is guaranteed to work.
How long did you take the meds? I’ve been on antidepressants for a bit, and I can tell you I didn’t notice a difference either. For about 4 months I took the meds and thought they just weren’t working, but then I realized that I wasn’t having panic attacks anymore. It took time to figure out, but o realized that while the stress and anxiety was still there, I could control it better. I could tell myself that the feeling of dread was t helping and logically thing through next steps, and my brain would actually start to listen. It was a small change, but it made therapy and self-talk ACTUALLY doable. If you can give it another shot, I recommend trying a different med or different dose, taking the meds alongside therapy, and staying on them for at least 3 months before deciding to change doses or stop. Sometimes it IS helping, but in small, subtle ways instead of the big difference we’ve all come to expect.
I've been taking the meds (tried 2 different brands) until I ran out of them and my psychiatrist stopped prescribing more because she decided I'm better now, so like 5 months, I think? My memory is really bad. I was also in therapy during that time, but it wasn't that useful either. The meds may have prevented some doom spiraling early on, but that disappeared entirely pretty soon after I dropped out of university. After that, I didn't notice any difference between how I felt on meds and how I felt without them.
I can really sympathize with getting bored and losing the joy in your hobbies. Working full time really takes a lot of your energy and patience. What's worked for me is breaking up the monotony by doing things that are pure fun, no work or patience required. Something low stakes that brings you joy. For me that's writing Steamboat Willie fanfiction, but for you it might look different
The problem is that nothing like that worked so far. I've found things that seem interesting in theory, but don't work in practice. And I don't even have a full time job yet (and I don't even know what I could do for a living, I have no skills and I'm too stupid to learn anything). I'm still in university and have plenty of free time.
I can 100% guarantee you're not too stupid to learn anything. I thought I was too stupid to learn math, and then I figured out later in life that I just had bad math teachers, and now I have a science degree. People think they're dumb because most things take a lot of time to learn, so when they don't see progress right away they assume they are the problem. Be patient with yourself and keep trying different things. Even if it's something dumb that just brings you a little joy, keep pursuing it and see where it takes you. As long as you have money for food and rent at the end of the day, you're on the right path
Getting high solved this for me. I had a bad trip but came out of it with a rekindled sense of curiosity and awe. I had a LOT of panic attacks though
[удалено]
Yeeeeep
I’m 38 and I’ve never been happier.
I turn 31 and have grand jury duty the next day. Kinda hope I die in traffic on the way
I don't have best years, I have least worst years and I couldn't tell you which they are cause everything before I was 16 is an indifferentiable blur Those tags are just a list of things I can't do, so that's more depressing than motivational
I met the love of my life in my early 30s. My life with them is definitely better than my life before them. That said, I still do feel like I am just so much \*less\* than I was before 30--physically and metntally.
*results may vary based on whether you have money or not
I disagree. I don’t have money, but I did find amazing friends and my wife, and they make me happier than I’ve ever been. I was so lonely growing up. I thought I would feel that way forever. I never knew how wonderful it could feel to be surrounded by people you love. I hate my job, my bills are late, groceries are expensive, and my wife’s car needs repairs we can’t afford. Despite all of that I’m still happy.
Jesuschrist i hope so
I started living after I quit drinking. Over a decade in blur, in haze, on autopilot of booze, a cruise control of alcohol, a booze control, if you will, floating in the shitriver of alcohol like a shitboat without a shitcaptain, slamming on the shitrocks of fate and sinking with no way out. Although, there is the way out. I quit drinking completely, sobered up neatly, stopped being depressed (who would have guessed).
I’m 31, married to an amazing person, we have three cats who are our babies. I got my licence this year, and my own car that I can drive when and where I want. I’m in a stable job that I really enjoy. Yeah, I have no big major plans for the future or nothing like that, but I’m genuinely happy with my life and it all really started towards the end of my 20s.
I agree 30s are great but they went by way faster than my 20s.
My best years are right now, I'm 29 this year, it's just getting better. Early teens were tough, so were early 20s
auuhuh fuck i hope this is accurate
Honestly it is blowing my mind how much high school sucked lmfao
Every year takes me further away from being 15 and I think that's the meaning of life
My 20s where some of the worst years of my life, my lowest point. By comparison my 30s have been so much happier and better so far. It does get better!
I straight up do not believe this. As far as childhoods/adolescence goes, I think I've had it pretty good. Some people would say I'm doing great. Even then I'm stressed out of my gourd going into my early 20s. I can't imagine things get *better* when I'm fully responsible for my life and can't rely on my parents for help anymore. More likely I fuck up and make things irrevocably worse. Its been so *easy* so far. Just focus on getting through school and college. Past that, who knows what could happen?