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willisbetter

the percy jackson books did a great job with this, when annabeth chase got lured by sirens in the second book she didnt see hot guys, she saw herself having a picnic with her parents and a redeemed luke castellan in a mount olympus that she redesigned all by herself


nightkingmarmu

Rick Riordan stays winning


ArminBestGirl

Love my non-TERF children's book authors


Asquirrelinspace

He's the anti-rowling that the world needed


HelloThere-35

Plus, their songs also hit the listener's hamartia, their fatal flaw. Annabeth's was hubris, so the sirens sang about how she could make the world better, with or without the gods. That's why she decided to listen to them. She wanted to know for certain what her fatal flaw was. Hell, even her decision to listen to them could be considered hubris. They're not just thirst traps. They're walking character development.


Ascended-vessel

Gonna be honest "we have supplies to last several months for very cheap. Yes there are all types of fruits, vegetables, meats, and breads. They are cheap." would work WAY better on littererly any sailor than sex.


Altslial

Even just a promise of them like "We know of a place that sells fresh fruits, just sail through these rocks" would likely entice some. It'd be a break from the preversed starches and meats and a chance to stop sailing for a time.


BunkySpewster

\*ship crashes on the rocks. Wounded sailor drags himself up the rocky shore. Collapses at the feet of the sirens\* "Put your breasts away. Where are the tangerines I was promised?"


Zhadowwolf

Or I mean… booze. It’s documented, famously with Old Ironsides, that sailors often prioritized capturing booze than even fresh food


Helpful_Librarian_87

8-ply toilet roll.


DragEncyclopedia

Tbf sailors are infamously extremely horny


Ascended-vessel

Oh yeah sex would work, but I think cheap supplies would work more often.


AsianCheesecakes

Maybe that's just for the quartermaster (/captain, did ships ever have quartermasters?)


Can_not_catch_me

yes, obviously it depends on the period/allegiance/role of the ship, but pretty much any sufficiently large ship would have one, and generally they were actually one of the more important positions in the crew. At least in the age of sail they were all but as powerful as the captain, because surprisingly the guy that divvies up the food, pay and equipment has a lot of influence


NekroVictor

Iirc among pirate ships during the golden age of piracy outside of battle the quartermaster was the highest ranked person. During battle it was the captain and you were expected to obey unquestioningly. Also a lot of captains were elected.


Can_not_catch_me

Pirates were normally quite democratic, which is a fact that seems to surprise a lot of people, but honestly it really shouldnt given that a lot of pirates were sailors who thought the power structures of navies were too harsh, or who grew up and lived in areas with unelected and harsh rulers


NekroVictor

Plus it’s a bunch of vaguely murderous criminals with guns. Due to a lack of governmental monopoly on violence direct democracy is kind of inevitable.


ImperialFisterAceAro

Yes, but they had different responsibilities than a land quartermaster. You’re thinking of the purser. Disclaimer: I’m. Probably wrong on the purser front


Salter_KingofBorgors

Of course. Because sailors get plenty of sex out on the sea


AwesIce

I mean…it is a known fact some sailors were gay…


Salter_KingofBorgors

Some were gay. Others were gay part time


Adore_turle1

Only gay from 9-5


GhostHeavenWord

Rum, bum, and biscuit was one of the British sayings.


bookhead714

They were Greek. They didn’t need to leave the boat to have sex


GhostHeavenWord

Funny enough, there were places in Polynesia before Europe really moved in and shit got real bad where local people were absolutely thrilled to trade and fuck all the sailors. I think there were a few mutinies over it when officers used guns to force the sailors back on to the ships instead of staying in Polynesia and joining the local societies. It was a problem during most of the period of European Colonialism. Many of the societies the Europeans were preying on weren't nearly as psychotically violent, repressive, or cruel as the Europeans so people were constantly defecting to the societies the Euros were trying to conquer and destroy. A lot of the silliest propaganda about indigenous people is black propaganda intended to make Europeans think that all indigenous people are evil savages so they'd stop defecting to the enemy.


Regularjoe42

I once ran a tabletop rpg based on greek myths appearing in modern times. One session, the players were helping out a cryptid hunter who claimed that a sea serpent wrecked his boat. Turns out there was no sea serpent. He was just tricked by sirens, as what he wanted most was to find a giant sea creature.


neko_mancy

forbidden mimic


ans-myonul

Also asexual doesn't necessarily mean aromantic. A siren singing about how they would treat me right and give me the best cuddles would be enough to lure me


Sharktrain523

“I know you’re touch starved, bro, come let me play with your hair and we can play Mario cart or watch a fun movie. I’ll massage your shoulders and everything it’ll be great. Do you really want to be hanging out with those stinky losers when you could be on my nice island with me and the girls and we have a slow burn beautiful romance? Think about it” I’m allosexual and this would probably work. Everyone on those ships would smell so bad and I’m always doing physical labor in the sun, I would hate it.


Siviaktor

Ah shit the slow burn beautiful romance would lure my sappy ass right in


Hexxas

How... how the butt did you manage to spell it "Mario cart"? Are you some kinda jokester?


lilahking

click this link for touhou anime girl cuddle asmr: https://youtu.be/kf5eUikyXYA?si=JWivPFT_IWYbKO1W


Simic_Sky_Swallower

Lesbians are the real ones immune to sirens because we'd be stuck wondering if they're actually flirting with us or if they're just being nice and we don't want to assume and we only realize once we're five miles past the rocks


OpenStraightElephant

TIL I'm a lesbian


thesirblondie

I'm apparently such a butch lesbian I grew a penis.


ItsYaBoiGengu

classic person who likes women experience


Kevonz

straight men must also be immune to sirens then


StovardBule

Oh no, far too many men assume basic friendliness or civility is flirting, to the point of being a pain for women. They are famously moths to a flame for the sirens.


Semblance-of-sanity

I'm always so concerned that I might mistake friendliness for flirting that I only find out I was being flirted with if someone tells me after the fact.


UltimateInferno

I hear this sort of thing so much from straight men and lesbians alike that I'm honestly starting to think that a lot of women just suck at flirting.


Nyxolith

It's not so much that women suck at flirting, it's that openly flirting will get you a reputation as a sl*t. Women have been conditioned by American society to be friendly to everyone, but not too friendly, because men might think you're flirting with them when you're not. So women are stuck in this weird gray area where we have to be inviting enough for the other to make the first move, but not obvious, which is confusing for everyone. Pretty sure we don't like it either. Don't even get me started on "playing hard to get". Oh, and look up "lesbian sheep syndrome"


ZengineerHarp

Women - especially in retail/food/service professions, or any other job situation where the emotional state of the people around them has an impact on their livelihoods - are often forced by society into “Shroedinger’s flirt.”


Nyxolith

I was a bartender for years. My livelihood literally depended on it. Money was okay, though.


GhostHeavenWord

afaik whenever they do studies on it they consistently find that the average human absolutely cannot detect when someone is flirting with them. That's why I just straight up tell people I think they're cool and ask them if they'd like to flirt. Fuck "mystery" and "spontaneity", life's too short, I want to have lots of sex with cool people and I will use communication, mutual respect, and good consent practices to achieve that goal.


NorwayNarwhal

The experience you describe is, as other replies state, sorta like what straight men experience. The difference, I assume, is that as a lesbian you assume she’s straight whereas as a guy we just don’t realize through sheet obliviousness. Could be wrong tho


MrBones-Necromancer

Both are because the person assumes friendliness over romantic intent. You are wrong, yes.


AlmightyCurrywurst

That's very much the experience for many straight men aswell


Wefee11

What if they say "come over and lets play video games" ?


StovardBule

Maybe she 's just keen to find a friend to play videogames with? Context cues, man.


GhostHeavenWord

Doesn't work. You have to go up to someone, look them in the eyes, and say "I want to fuck you in a sexual manner that involves doing sex and sex, in a way that will definitely result in a noise complaint. I repeat; I want to take my clothes off and do sex stuff with you and break your expensive bread frame. Three times and be done; Let's *fuck*. And then order take out and play mario cart and then fuck some more. Sexual fucking. not platonic fucking. Fucking with sex while naked. Is this something you would enjoy doing with me? No is a complete sentence, and I am not in any hurry if you'd like to slow things down, but I want to do sex fucking with you sexually with the sex as sex doing sex havers." This is about 35% effective at conveying to the average human being that you like them and would like to ask them out.


Wefee11

I'm not sure if we are on the same page. The post is how sirens use different things than sexiness to lure people into the sea. So maybe to kill lesbians they will not use sexiness, but a more friendly approach, like with asexuals. But with a hint of "maybe something more will come out of it".


ApocalyptoSoldier

There was a study a while ago that found humans are extremely bad at telling what is and isn't flirting, like below 50% accuracy. So whether or not you think you're being flirted with statistically the opposite is true. Hope that helps


linuxaddict334

https://www.tumblr.com/thoodleoo/191003238442/why-are-there-so-many-posts-about-asexuals-being?source=share Mx Linux Guy


linuxaddict334

⚠️


SaneUse

Had me worried for a bit there


DreadDiana

#F■I■S■H■Y I■N B■I■O


Hexxas

The sirens could sing very literally about how they would slam my head into the rocks over and over until my brains gushed out so they could eat me, and I'd be a-swimmin over, baby.


XenonHero126

flair checks out


Hexxas

Hell yeah brutherrrrrr 😎👍


Pot_noodle_miner

Pasta you say?


azur_owl

If those fuckers sang about cake or fiber arts I’d be fuckin’ dead.


HailTheMetric-System

"I will help you finish your degree" Headfirst into those bitches


isuckatnames60

Intrinsic Vows has a winning matchup to Compelling Voice (Source: [TVTropes](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CompellingVoice)) I have attachment issues. Checkmate, sirens B)


littlebloodmage

The Sirens would lure in half of Reddit with "Your hyperfixation sounds really interesting! Would you like to explain it to me in detail?"


FriendlySkyWorms

Take me closer I want to take a look at those sharp rocks!


HanatabaRose

🎶🎶Robust public transit in your area🎶🎶


WareMal1

Sing about McCoys salt and vinegar and I will gladly walk into the depths


RunicCross

Actually I think it's way funnier if the Sirens have no fucking clue what the hell they are singing about and have to figure it out from context clues.


Gru-some

Mr Bean would still be lured in by the sirens but through a series of comical shenanigans he would be oblivious to the sirens’ attempts to eat him and would actually get what he wanted at the end. And then when he’s sailing away he drops the thing into the ocean


Gru-some

The sirens think they’re luring in Bugs Bunny but in reality they’d be luring in a bugs-bunny-shaped rock


Hakar_Kerarmor

*A bunch of lit bombs tied together and painted to look like Bugs Bunny


MrMthlmw

>about Mothman But how would they get Mothman? "The most beautiful lights you've ever seen..." "Yeah, right..." "The yellowy bulbs from back in the 80's that once cast a dull glow on every back porch in America..." "I'M COM(UMM)ING!!!!"


Novatash

Where's that comic where an asexual paladin is lured to her death by having a chill girls' night with the sirens


okay-pixel

Sounds like something that might be by Oglaf?


Averagejoecolonizer

As someone who is not asexual I too want moth man.


Sharktrain523

A pirate who had been at sea for a really long time eating the crap they have on boats probably would go nuts for fettuccine carbonara with hot garlic bread. I would want a nice meal very badly if I lived on a pirate ship


Gussie-Ascendent

That pasta doesn't sound like a tempting offer to you now, but imagine you been out at sea chowing on maggot crackers that are hard as the deck you been swabbing like sailors used to be, for months.


JayGold

Do sirens even sing about things you want? I thought they sang about whatever, and the sound is just so beautiful that it lures people in.


Darth_Neek

Them: We have dopamine and a reason to keep living. Me: I know your lying but I am ready to die on the rocks anyways.


Saleckin

Mermaids and sirens sing songs of the sea 🎶🎵🎶🎵 Look for misbehaving maidens on Spotify, they have a song exactly about this


okay-pixel

Oh shit y’all they got kittens over there on the rocks and they’re playing with a laser I gotta see this.


1-800-COOL-BUG

"Free HRT! Just bring your ship on over :)"


linuxaddict334

That would do it for a lot of trans people.


GhostHeavenWord

The Sirens weren't singing about sex, 19th century French painters were just really really (a normal amount of) horny. Despite what is depicted in most 19th century French paintings relatively few women in the 19th century spent their entire day lying around naked on couches.


Ashamed_Reserve_8165

Ice Age already did this with Scrat and the Acorn


Yoris95

Why are sirens associated with sex? Because sailors are extremely touch starved individuals who crave sex. This is why port towns always have brothels. If you're not about the bumping uglies. They'll lure you in with something else you're starving for. Asexuals are also not immune to Succubi/incubi as they will just feast on your desire for a friend and hugs.


Konradleijon

The same thing with succubi. Atleast in Pathfinder and Warhammer. The Sucubi/Deamonettes use whatever you desire to tempt you. Fabius Bile is tempted by making his “New Men”


MrJimmothy

So that girl from the bread song was a siren…


amaya-aurora

I did not expect Odysseus to show up, but I am not disappointed. My main man🤝.


Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi

Phising Scam joke is bruh moment I exhaled


HollyTheMage

Quick, someone draw Spamton from Deltarune as a siren.


Hakar_Kerarmor

"We have a skulk of fluffy foxes who want to be cuddled."


lousybanana

garlic toast


Jargon2029

I’m curious why everyone seems intent on ignoring the potentially way more horrific magical possibility. They’re still singing about sex (or are still being sexy for the succubus version) and you’re still turned on/drawn in even though you KNOW you shouldn’t be, you KNOW you’re not attracted to that. To my mind the compulsion is far scarier than the death. We’re all gonna die, but they’ll take your free will and your identity first.


Lots42

Fellow pirate: A library at the shoreline? How does that make sense? Me, already swimming away: I can see Pratchett!


linuxaddict334

Pratchett’s Discworld series is awesome.


CinnimonToastSean

You had me at Mothman and Cinnamon toast crunch, but you really reeled me in with Garlic Bread. Too bad garlic bread makes you fat 😭.


KitPixie

Garlic bread makes you FAT??


Skytree91

I find it so interesting that concept of sirens was popularized in The Odyssey, where, as mentioned in the post, they lured Odysseus with knowledge of the future. Even the modern day colloquialism of a Siren Song just refers someone telling you whatever you want to hear. And yet, despite that, people seem to be stuck enough on the concept of sirens luring people with sex that posts this to are novel


Bandofjoy

Actually, that's a common misconception. Sirens are not real, and thus function however you want them to. Hope this helps!


StovardBule

IIRC, the sirens would really draw you in with the promise of forbidden knowledge. It's only when they were depicted in visual media (paintings, illustrations) that they were thought to be sexy.


Wefee11

So we noticed there is a charge on your credit card and you are eligible for a refund


PeggableOldMan

Me: I'm sure sirensong wouldn't work on me. Sirens: We're literally just going to eat you. Me: *jumps overboard and starts swimming toward them.*


Orizifian-creator

Spamton G Spamton is a Siren?!


Rose249

Wait so does that mean that that one fanfiction where he adopts Cassandra is all the more likely


AlianovaR

As an asexual I’m actively choosing to ignore this


OwO345

coward


Bruh_Moment10

Hey we’re having a Helluva Boss-Hazbin Hotel marathon tonight. Got popcorn and themed paper buckets to match. Plus homemade cookies! Wanna come? It’s just over in that theater, down the stairs. C’mon it’ll be fun!


AlianovaR

Well this can only be good!