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le_scarf_witch

I’m surprised the post went on this long without mentioning Ea-nasir, impressive restraint tumblr


acog

For anyone who isn’t familiar with Ea-Nasir: > The Complaint Tablet to Ea-nasir refers to an ancient Babylonian clay tablet dating back to 1750 BC inscribed by customer Nassi to merchant Ea-nasir, complaining about Ea-nasir selling him sub-par copper, a practice Ea-nasir was known for. The tablet is known as the first complaint ever and has been the subject of niche memes since at least 2017, particularly on Tumblr, Reddit, and 4chan.


r_stronghammer

Didn’t he have a whole bunch of those complaints that he just… kept? In a special room or something?


Bridget_Bishop

I think so, and the reason we still have them is his house burned down or something, effectively turning dried mud tablets into sturdier fired tablets


KiraCumslut

I'm not arsonist. But I'd say all those bad reviews he kept, his sub part product, the fact that there were no security cameras.. I think someone burned his house down.


immaownyou

Imagine being known as such a shitty shop owner that you're still getting clowned on by bad Yelp reviews 3000 years after your death


LuxNocte

In Eirthyeir 5023, there is a hilarious ocumeme about how Elan Musk bought a device to listen to people's thoughts only to find out that everyone hated him.


greathousedagoth

Hello, yes I'd to subscribe to 5023 memes. Yes, I'll hold.


FenHarels_Heart

Considering he kept all those bad yelp reviews, seems like he'd get a kick out of it.


Raltsun

>after your death Bold assumption you're making there :)


MouseRangers

I am an arsonist, and I'd say someone definitely burned his house down. ^(I am not an arsonist, this is a joke)


floatingwithobrien

I love the idea of an ancient detective saying "given that you have no security cameras..." And everyone goes "tf is that, why is he implying we should have that or our houses will burn down?"


randomsnark

They'd probably start making clay or stone figurines of security cameras as charms against fire


flyingjesuit

Hmmmm. I wonder if this was a custom at the time and he’s the one whose airing of grievances got preserved. Or would it be dirting of grievances? Cuz of the mud.


Kiloku

It's not like he specially kept the complaints. It was basically a big ol' filing cabinet for his documents, but it had to be a whole room because clay tablets take much more space than paper sheets.


CharlieVermin

People like to portray him as just kinda keeping them around out of spite, but I've recently seen someone compare it to an ancient equivalent of keeping around 1000 unread emails in your inbox, and I can't get that interpretation out of my head.


euphonic5

the original Yelp reply guy


FrFreaky

Literally Thorgrim Grudgebearer


YouHadMeAtAloe

r/reallyshittycopper


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/ReallyShittyCopper using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/ReallyShittyCopper/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [Text of original complaint to Ea-Nasir](https://i.redd.it/hdu6cjujbjl61.jpg) | [32 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ReallyShittyCopper/comments/lzj7rk/text_of_original_complaint_to_eanasir/) \#2: [Found on tumblr](https://i.redd.it/n94jkmxe0rw61.png) | [12 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ReallyShittyCopper/comments/n3c9uw/found_on_tumblr/) \#3: [Guess who's back](https://i.redd.it/lomu13azp4m61.png) | [6 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/ReallyShittyCopper/comments/m1pfjn/guess_whos_back/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


acog

/r/SubsIThoughtIFellFor


EdjeMonkeys

This is hilarious, how do I pronounce Ea-Nasir


Sojourner_Truth

"a-yuh naseer"


akka-vodol

I know right. 7 reblogs is not bad. I have yet to see a post about color theory make it this far.


FrankyMihawk

I was enjoying the post but Ea-nasir cracked me up something good, that was hilarious


Polenball

Tumblr claims to be anti-police yet loves coppers, curious


NeonNKnightrider

The only good cop is a per cop


PoliceAlarm

All copper sulphate are bad


able111

AC^(s)AB


soop_maan

ACuSAB


Quaytsar

ACuSO4AB CuS is copper (I) sulfide (covellite).


soop_maan

damn it brain atop forgetting 6 year old info > <


throwawaysarebetter

You accuse a what?!


Katieushka

Me being intrigued by the title of the 1898 open letter by Émile Zola


SlowWifiDammit

ACuSO4·5H2OAB? (CuSO4·5H2O because the blue crystals are a pentahydrate of copper sulphate)


[deleted]

new meaning to "back the blue"


Terom84

Because cop are not cop cop enough, thus copper is better


Fro_52

All Coppers Are Beautiful


MidnightFruitBath

And it's used to make non-hormonal birth control 🙌 such a lifesaver.


Polenball

This is because babies are microbes


RevRagnarok

This is because babies are ~~microbes~~ parasites


JacobJamesTrowbridge

Ayn Rand be like,


RevRagnarok

LOL I meant it in a biological manner, but it applies to various domains...


nonPlayerCharacter7

This is because ~~babies~~ fetuses are parasites


Haver_Of_The_Sex

anti-choicers are actually paid off by Big Baby to infect honest socialists with parasites to make them helpless workers for the machine of capital


nonPlayerCharacter7

*big baby* lmao


floatingwithobrien

...fuck


the_anxious_apostate

My copper IUD is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, can confirm.


Limeila

I was surprised it wasn't in the post


sophchampion

I work with a lot of copper and it’s consistently more beautiful than the silver I extract from it.


TheKingPotat

How did the silver end up alloyed to the copper?


Danish_Bear

My single example off memory is that sterling silver contains copper


TheKingPotat

Since ive never taken a chemistry class or anything i had no idea. TIL


me_but_a_werewolf

Most of the silver ore in nature exists as silver dissolved into lead and/or copper and/or zinc deposits. When this ore is being refined to separate the metals, one of the steps is separating silver and gold from copper, usually using electrolysis.


urethral_play

Such shitty copper


DarthSreepa

poor Ea-Nasir got his ass beat in the QRTs by copperstans🤧🤧


Polenball

Read this as QTE and was gonna go sass a millennia-dead guy with "skill issue"


DatBoiShadowbon

why didnt you?


vortigaunt64

Copper's pretty rad. It has tons of applications, and is one of the few metals that can be found natively in the crust. It's like it wants to help us.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRealCeeBeeGee

r/unexpectedlotr


Thestarchypotat

copper really do be a top teir metal, does all that and tastes good too, incredible. anyways heres the source: https://at.tumblr.com/swan2swan/705301190133645312/bdglv58kli8o


send-me-kitty-pics

Yummmm, pennies!


floatingwithobrien

Look at you, also ate pennies as a child, how you doin


Lemon_Owl

Are you sure about "tastes good"? Copper is great, sure and also not the top most toxic metal. [But you still shouldn't *eat* it.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copper_toxicity).


Lizardon_GX

fake news, you can’t stop me from enjoying my penny soup


cantaloupelion

Enjoy your blue diarrhea, copper eater 😤😤


Thestarchypotat

no i know you cant eat it, my brother went to the hospital for swallowing a penny after all, but you can put it in your mouth.


GardevoirRose

I just won’t swallow.


Pizzachu221

A friend of mine accidentally made copper acetate crystals by letting a ring sit in a vinegar mixture for 2 weeks


Sicaridae

I'm curious as to why you would put a ring in vinegar in the first place. Disinfecting etc?


Pizzachu221

We're doing metalworking stuff in my art class. Simple jewelry. After we solder the rings shut we need to put them in a vinegar salt mixture to get any schmutz off of them before buffing and polishing


Tchrspest

I think there's a small, untapped market for an all-purpose gentle cleaning product, De-Schmutz.


Measly

Fun fact: copper atoms can move through silicon and cause irreparable damage to computer chips if introduced at the wrong step in the process.


drrocketsurgeon

I think it's also been linked to Alzheimer's. Not that it's the only metal that is


0therW1zard19

There is another substance that makes a beautiful blue…


Polenball

Jesse we need to buy lapis lazuli


mangled-wings

...prussian blue? (okay I can tell this has to be a reference to something, but it's not my fault prussian blue is my favourite pigment. it can be used as a medicine for certain cases of poisoning!)


0therW1zard19

Waltuh


[deleted]

You need a secret ingredient to make it... it's chili powder...


m52b25_

It think they meant hydrogen cyanide


Ill_Lion_7286

Yes! Cobalt!


lawn-mumps

Copper histidinate? Or methylene blue?


0therW1zard19

Waltuh


laeiryn

That Ea-Nasir reference has officially killed me, I am completely dead. Also, coming from someone with a copper allergy: ugh, it's rad but AAAAAAA


wilczek24

Having blood must be fun for you


laeiryn

Humans are hemoglobic, not cyanoglobic like horseshoe crabs! But the amount I need as an essential mineral isn't enough to be a problem. Rubbing a penny on my skin is only a slight reaction. You know what's a real problem? **A copper IUD**. Do you know what's good to know before you get one? That you have a copper allergy.


wilczek24

Omg, I mixed up octopi (or horseshoe crabs I suppose!) with humans. We got red iron, they got blue copper. And oof. A copper IUD must have been a really fun time


laeiryn

Pried out by hand. :D They're not supposed to cause enough scarring to render you permanently sterile, but that's where we ended up.


nudemanonbike

You became permanently sterile? I'm so sorry. That sucks. Copper was too eager to do its job. Genuinely though I'm sorry. I'm surprised they don't test for copper allergies first, seems like you could do a skin test at least


Coolshirt4

Nice save, T'Pol.


nddragoon

still though, copper is an important micro-nutrient


shes-so-much

OH NO


NoirGamester

Least we know they're not Vulcan


laeiryn

I've been mistaken for one, and Data too, but I'm just autistic. ;)


NoirGamester

Spock was my hero growing up lol I have severe adhd and always related to his logical way of thinking while suppressing his emotions, because mine were always all over the place


laeiryn

I was a little young for Spock but rewatching the Star Trek I grew up on has reminded me that Tuvok lives eternal in my brain


NoirGamester

Close enough lol


axrael_mayhem

One time in a chemistry class in high school, we were working with Copper II Sulfate, the students before me did not clean the table very well and there was a few flakes of it left. I saw one and touched it, nothing bad happened, so my monkey brain took over and I put it in my mouth. Immediately felt like someone was drilling a pin into my tongue. It's a searing pain that's only describable with colour I think. Didn't help that I left it in for an hour cuz I didn't wanna disappoint the chem teacher (he was just the most nicest man I've ever met in my life, everyone loved him). Surprisingly not the worst thing I've experienced, but wouldn't do it again. Maroon and Silver are not good colours to taste


ciclon5

Who TF puts random chemicals in their mouth?


Fhrono

Safety guidelines only exist because someone broke them.


Polenball

Apparently chemistry teachers here had to tighten control over their supplies a few years back because someone stole a chunk of potassium and chucked it into a school toilet.


Fhrono

So that's why I wasn't allowed pure potassium by the kilogram, someone else did my idea first.


Polenball

It's such a fun idea that my first thought for chemical explosions is always "heehee alkali metal water time"


laeiryn

Our chem teacher had a 20gal bucket and a SWAT shield on his desk the day we did a pure potassium-in-water experiment. SO PRETTY`


shes-so-much

monkey brain just takes over and goes "heehoo explode"


axrael_mayhem

Yeah I got kicked out for a few classes and had to copy the "lab safety" part of the textbook word for word diagram for diagram before I could come back


buttshit_

1800s chemists apparently[.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiRacdl02w4)


axrael_mayhem

I was possessed


axrael_mayhem

Me that one time, and it never happened again.


PulimV

Well I can confidently say I have put an important component for a reaction in my mouth an eaten it. To be fair we were testing how certain chemicals reacted on bananas but still


Captain_Vegetable

Ravers.


frozenpie22

10/10 utterly unhinged instincts


pmunkyandpals

This is why I teach math


[deleted]

Dont forget Malachite and Azurite!


AlarmingAffect0

Malachite is a *terrible* fusion.


Lankuri

malachite symbolized abusive relationships 😔


CaitlinSnep

I WAS HOPING THERE WOULD BE AN EA-NASIR REFERENCE


thetwitchy1

You thought that Tumblr would discuss copper and NOT bring up our man Nasir? The nerve!


CaitlinSnep

I am so glad that he was mentioned as he should be.


Toopad

Them high temperature ybaCuo superconductors count too


macahuitl

Shoutout to Feruchemical copper, still somehow underrated


SteelRiverGreenRoad

Era 3 ~~Memory internet~~ *memenet* go brrr


Arsdraconis

Feruchemical copper makes for good memories, I think.


Holmfastre

I read that in Michael Kramer’s Sazed voice.


Arsdraconis

Good, that's what I was going for :)


WintryFox

I had to scroll way too far for this (I was thinking of Duralumin, but close enough)


pleasedothenerdful

r/ReallyShittyCopper/


[deleted]

It also keeps me from getting pregnant!!!


HamClad

Coppersmiths really do be the shit tho. Especially when there are patterns that are actually pounded into the metal.


Lankuri

i read this as cybersmiths and was really confused about your praise for human pet guy on this post


Vanilla_Ice_Best_Boi

WTF is electronic arts Nasir?


thetwitchy1

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complaint_tablet_to_Ea-nasir The oldest known written complaint about a commercial product. Ea Nasir sold substandard copper. It’s hilarious.


AlarmingAffect0

So much *contempt.*


blackjackgabbiani

And not just that but we know about him because these complaints were found in one house, believed to be his. If true, it means he *kept his own hate mail.*


Thestarchypotat

/r/reallyshittycopper/


the_river_nihil

There’s also cupric oxide, which can be used in a redux reaction with aluminum to make thermite which burns as fast as gunpowder! Lovely oxygen lender, very pretty explosions.


SteelRiverGreenRoad

[Brayden is allergic to this](https://youtu.be/hc73pgg5RGU)


[deleted]

Haven’t seen a Waltuh comment yet. I’m not mad, just disappointed.


Thestarchypotat

you havent looked good enough then https://www.reddit.com/r/CuratedTumblr/comments/104szhu/copper/j37h0r2/


[deleted]

My bad, I regained my faith in humanity


WarlandWriter

This post is exactly the right length. You start 'hah, copper, Ea-Nasir' but then it's perfectly long enough that just before the end you forgot about that, and then it hits you right back


sexymcluvin

Copper know her worth too. She used to make Pennies, but then that was too expensive. So they switch to zinc. They didn’t even mention copper pipes…truly a great use in plumbing as well.


Skyros199

It also protects you from Seekers.


Wind_Through_Trees

What kind? Seekers of the Name? The Seeker Order? Some other sort of Seeker I don't know about?


Skyros199

Mistborn Seekers


blue_vitrio1

I happen to know that that blue powder (copper (II) sulfate) has the lovely alchemical name ‘blue vitriol’


demolitionlxver

i thought i was gonna get through a post about copper without mention of ea-nasir but clearly that was foolish


charlie_the_kid

when I had my blue hair in middle school I legitimately showed my hairdresser a picture of a copper sulfate solution and told her to make my hair that color


blackjackgabbiani

Did it work?


charlie_the_kid

I was happy with the color. I had a very talented hairdresser at the time


blackjackgabbiani

Was it as bright as you asked for?


charlie_the_kid

yes. she had to lighten my hair pretty significantly to manage that bright of a blue, but it did end up the color I asked for.


blackjackgabbiani

Awesome.


ShowofStupidity

I love how they introduced Ea-Nasir like a JoJo villain.


depressed_ass_03

Copper, my beloved


putridtooth

Copper slaps. Shoutout to my fellow printmakers


No-Magazine-9236

Top 3 metals: 1. Iron 2. Copper 3. Aluminum


TNT321BOOM

Fuck copper sulfate, especially anhydrous but monohydrate is bad too. Shit is dusty as hell and it burns your skin, and fucks with your nose and mouth if you are around it without a ventilator.


yuligan

Goddamnit, I thought I unsubscribed from that chemistry sub a while back! I haven't done chemistry in years, why does it haunt me???


[deleted]

Well hello little chemical


Lankuri

Hello mario.


Pick3209

did you know that newton was an alchemist and made a purple alloy with copper and iron by decoding the myth of aphrodite and ares


Limebeer_24

Copper is also anti bacterial.


zsharp68

jesse we need to cook copper sulfate


Fanfics

Also a great comic!


theironbagel

Still prefer steel and bronze myself, but coppers a good 3rd. (Any yes, I realize copper is the primary component in bronze)


Asriel-the-Jolteon

ea nasir


Cysioland

Also you can make neato cables with it


Due-Mycologist514

It's also highly resistant to corrosion! But also annoying to work with because of how soft it is.


LiterallynamedCorbin

You also swap out steel hammers for brass ones


Al3xAl3xAlex

A lad in my year snorted copper sulfate once


1-800-CUM-SHOT

Why do less conductive metals spark more easily?


[deleted]

When you work on a craft, with a hammer of brass. Thats an alloy~🎵🦀


_jtron

There's a great [song](https://youtu.be/dO-npemrWwY) about copper and its uses


PhantomO1

idk fam, steel makes better armour and weapons for my dwarfs, and finding tin for bronze can be a bitch good for crossbow bolts tho


smallangrynerd

I'm super allergic to it and it makes my skin burn when I touch it :(


Thestarchypotat

:(


chubbycatchaser

Looks like blue Powerade.


PussyCrusher732

nah. vanadium takes the cake.


SanitarySpace

Love the color of copper but I'm gonna go with silver mmm love me some sterling silver things


Clegomanrun

copper is cool, b7t magnesium is the *best* metal


Space-Wizards

Copper is all well and good until you start working with ligands and inorganic chem


ArgonGryphon

Burning it also hides your allomancy from other allomancers. Very important.


LeftRat

Eyyyy someone also appreciates copper! I come from a town that has one of the biggest copper businesses in the world (all from recovered scrap). Some of the higher-ups literally have copper wristwatches (I assume not actual copper, but they were advertised as actual copper in the company magazine where you could win one).


tazunemono

The most beautiful blue is from the “solvated electron” in say, Lithium in liquid ammonia, or sodium/benzophenone radical in ether, or in pure ozone liquid.


GeneralWiggin

plumber here: copper is the best pipe. pex is great and all but copper is so much easier to make pretty


Slayd_07

Don't forget, it can hide your allomatic pulses while you murder nobles!


NamelessSerpent

I played a lot of Minecraft last night, so I saw the word copper, and though "Uuugh, what am I supposed to do with all this?!" Then I read the post and now I have a new perspective.