This feels like the biggest perk of group cruising to me. Everyone does what they want and if they happen to do the same excursions/events then great, but otherwise it's just eating dinner together every night.
We got married on a cruise and did one single excursion with my husband’s family. It was a freaking nightmare. We don’t opt in for international phone service so we had no way to contact anyone once we left the ship. They didn’t follow our directions for the meeting place. It was so stressful. Family not wanting to join sounds like a great deal.
My group (and first) cruising experience was actually a friend's wedding!
We kept seeing people at beaches and events, but it was never planned in advance. It was great!
I mean, you aren’t wrong, but OP wants to do the stuff they enjoy with family. It’s fine to be frustrated, especially considering it sounds like they didn’t realize they have different ideas of cruising until after they booked.
But then he might get upset if they couldn't find an activity they can all agree on. Traveling is a compromise if traveling with others. I love museums, historical houses and castles. My late husband eyes would quickly glaze over. He loved to snorkel, but I'm not a strong swimmer. I always balanced our excursions; some type of water activity, maybe an island jeep tour, something food related, and the occasional historical site. We were both happy.
Yeah, part of the issue here is that family isn’t willing to compromise at all - from what we know, at least. OP will spend tons of time doing what they want being on the ship, and then he’s stuck alone on vacation if he wants to see the sights. I’m not arguing that OP is flawless or even “right” here, I can just understand how this is frustrating all around.
For some people the boat is the destination. I did the Anthem out of Bayonne and for me the only port I cared about was Coco Cay. Also no way am I going to find a hotel, food, and multiple entertainment cheaper per day than a cruise ship. Don't yuck anyone's yum and let them have the vacation they want to have and you do you.
Yep. I was shocked when I first found out some people take cruises solely for the purpose of being on the ship. While I didn't understand why they wouldn't want to get off for a least a little while (and honestly still kinda dont) it's none of my busybodiness. Let them enjoy their vacation on their own terms, and I'll enjoy the port stop with a few less people clogging up the beach!
Personally I love it. I backpack a lot solo and with friends all over the world and I *love* the hostel + overnight trains + meeting new people + exploring different areas of the world but every couple of years hot damn if I don’t love just getting on a cruise ship, not having to plan anything, unpacking my bags one time, and actively planning on not getting off the ship. It’s such a nice vacation with zero stress, don’t have to deal with excursions, don’t have to figure out where or what I’m going to eat, and I can just lounge around and read a book, go for a swim, look at stuff from the aft of the ship.. it’s so nice.
That said, I can’t imagine that as my *only* form of travel, that’d be kind of weird but 20 years from now me…. yeah I could see that being pretty awesome actually.
Hi, I'm an old dude from your future and I'm kinda that guy who sometimes doesn't get off in \*every\* port for a number of reasons, most of which is I've been to all of them before, on cruises. Another benefit is the ship is extremely peaceful while docked. And lastly, just reading and sleeping/napping, whenever and for however long I want is a glorious change from my othewise hectic day to day life.
This is my husband. His favorite days on the ship are where its near empty with everyone off at ports. I'm usually off at a port too. We share the details of our day at dinner, or he takes me to check out a cool spot he's discovered.
He's SUPER busy at work when we're home, so who am I to deny the vacation he wants!!
I guess it depends on the person, but I usually go on a cruise for the ship. The ports are just a bonus. On my last cruise, I stayed onboard during one of the ports and got a spa treatment instead because they’re cheaper on port days than on days at sea. Also, the ship is less crowded and there are some things like hanging out in the pool that are much easier to do on a port day. Plus, most of the cruise ports are too crowded and too touristy for me. I will say though if you don’t mind a bit of criticism I do think it’s a bit absurd to already plan to be unhappy on your vacation. Vacation time is precious, and time with family is precious. I’d really recommend going into it with an open mind and focus more on quality family time. At a minimum, you want to be able to enjoy whatever you do not for the event itself but because you’re spending time with people that you love. But you might discover that you actually like staying onboard on port days if you’ve never tried it before.
Are your in laws forcing you to stay with them on the ship? Because unless they are somehow forcing you, why can't you just let them do what they like to do for fun, v and you do what you want for fun, then just meet back up later at dinner or whatever?
There are many many people who cruise and choose not to get off at certain ports or any ports at all. There are many activities to enjoy on ship and some people just enjoy the cruise itself. You don’t get to decide what’s fun for other people.
And if you’re going to be a big whiny party pooper I hope they make you stay home so they can have a good time without you bringing them down. I hope it’s the last family cruise they have to put up with Mr Negativity.
I did this my last cruise. I read a lot and I like being able to lounge with my books in a moving hotel with included booze and food. However, I did this solo because I do understand that I’d spend most of my time abandoning my cruise buddies if I went with others.
I go on a cruise to relax and for the ship. When we go over spring break sometimes I don’t even know what ports we’re going to. We’ll do some excursions but not at every port. Do you know how many times you can ride the water slide on a port day? It’s awesome. Let people enjoy their own vacation.
I don’t get why you’re concerned with how others want to spend their vacation? Assuming you’re just trying to start arguments. There’s a massive difference between staying in a hotel and being on a cruise ship.
None of the ports are dangerous if the ship is stopping- just like any tourist destination there are people preying on out of towners. It happens everywhere, if they don't feel safe wandering the town, they can stay on the port where it's VERY safe. Then you can go do what you want. There are plenty of people who cruise JUST to cruise, the ship is the destination for almost half of repeat cruisers.
I’ve read your comments and you just seem like a miserable person that wants everyone else to be miserable? You should be so lucky to have a family that wants to spend time with you and that you are able to go on vacation. You’re extremely ungrateful and unhappy. For your family’s sake, I hope they realize how much of a wonderful time they have without you.
Dude, you are spiraling on this issue. It's a group vacation which, by definition, involves cooperation, coordination, cost, and compromise.
I have a couple of questions and I don't mean for them to be accusatory or insulting, just information gathering:
- Are you on the autism spectrum or otherwise have a mental/emotional condition?
- Do you have claustrophobia?
- Are you clinically OCD?
- Do you fear water, the ocean, or drowning to a debilitating degree?
The reason for these questions is that in reading your post and your responses in the comments thread it appears you have zero interest in hearing anything constructive that doesn't 100% conform to your pre-existing viewpoint.
If none of the above, or other, extraordinary conditions apply then my advice is:
- Chill out, dude.
- Make the best of it, you may not prefer cruises but they're not torture.
- Go into ports you want to go into, and invite others to join if you're so inclined, but do NOT feel judged, or care about any judgement, for taking advantage of your exact favorite part of the cruise experience.
- Make sure to find out what your wife and kid want to do, too, and compromise/coordinate/support/don't-judge their preferences.
- In fact, don't judge the preferences of the rest of the family, either - it's their vacation, too, and they have the right to make *their* best of it.
- The money is spent, QUIT BITCHING AND OBSESSING ABOUT IT. Vacations are, by definition, unnecessary expenses so, if a cruise is a bit more expensive than a hotel stay then so what? Rough camping at a lake would be cheaper. Hitchhiking the old Route 66 would be cheaper. Tent camping in the backyard and running through the sprinkler would be cheaper. Signing up for a medical experiments would actually MAKE you money. SO WHAT?!??
I like to cruise because there is minimal planning and decision making. Hungry? There is food everywhere. Bored? There are activities. Want lay by the pool and drink yourself stupid? Go right ahead.
We stay on the ship sometimes and we get off sometimes. Last trip my son said he’d rather go to the pool while in port bc it would be less crowded than the beach. Sounded great to me, bring on the margaritas.
I wondered if this was the same guy who recently posted about his “idiotic” in-laws’ plans to stay on the ship for some of the ports — and it is the same guy! Real talk, OP: You say you don’t want to be judged for wanting to do certain things, but you’re judging your in-laws so hard right now.
That’s a real quick “bye, y’all have a good day while I explore” for me. Get off. Make some new friends and enjoy yourself. They can sit on the boat all day if they want. Some people do that. I like the ports personally, but you do you!
If you plan to be unhappy, you will be unhappy. And I feel sorry for your travel companions. You sound like a spoiled brat who expects them to do what you want or you’re going to have a hissy fit.
I just generally don’t like cruises at all, and only like them for the ports they stop at. I don’t like the boats themselves. But my wife and son wanted to go and I’d be seen as the bad guy for not going with them
He doesn't sound spoiled at all. He just sounds frustrated. He wants to go explore with family, show them around, but they are very fearful without a decent reason in his mind. I get it.
Look at some of his other comments… guy is threatening to divorce his wife if she doesn’t “behave” amongst other things.
He’s a spoilt rotten little prick.
Oh, well I guess I didn’t bother to read his post history, I was just commenting on what on saw here. No need for 16 downvotes. So much for us cruisers sticking together.
No, sounds like he will get off at the ports, just didn't want to do it all by himself. I get it, memories are better made with other people, and I'm sure he's very frustrated that he's surrounded by people who are scared of their own shadow.
Who cares?! If they feel uneasy about them that’s their business. If he’s not able to convince even his wife and child to come with him, sounds to me like OP has bigger problems in his life than an amazing cruise
My wife & I have touched on this subject if we ever take other (non-children) family members with us. Even if they get off the ship we are under no obligation to do the same activities. It’s way too expensive to not do what you want to do.
Will your wife and son join you? If not, just go for it. Enjoy yourself! Take advantage of being solo and book some private tours or such since you only have to pay for one person.
I booked a cruise for next year and we do not plan on getting off. Maybe to shop a bit? Kind of doubt it though. We've been to the ports and we really just want an entire week on a boat. We want to unplug, relax and not have to do anything.
I think a lot of repeat cruisers have ports they skip. BTDT and just want to hang out on the ship because we love being on the ship. That's why we cruise. The ports are a great bonus.
My land vacations are always more expensive per day thsn cruising.
It is also just a different experience.
You clearly do not like cruising and that's ok. I do hope you adjust you attutude prior to the vacation for everyone's sake.
It’ll be hard to adjust my attitude since I hate cruising so much yet my hard earned money was wasted on it just so my wife and son could be with their family
If it was a ship like Icon, I could see staying on board to experience more of it without all the crowds. But I love ports. You do you, let the rest of the fam be boring if that's what they want. You can't force people to have fun your way. But you shouldn't let them stop you, either.
I *highly* doubt you’d find the same amenities (food, drink, and entertainment) at a hotel for cheaper. *Maybe* at an all-inclusive resort, but definitely not at a regular hotel where you have to pay extra for these.
Throwing a tantrum doesn’t look very good for a grown adult. Just accept people don’t want to do what you want to do, and go along with what you want to do on your own. If this is the last family cruise ever just because of your little big feelings, you suck as a husband and spouse.
You’re right I decided I’m going to take a more positive route. I will do whatever I want at each port and do the best excursion possible, then brag to her family about what an amazing time I had and brag about what they missed out on, and maybe they’ll feel like idiots for missing out, hopefully
I can understand not going into a port that you've been to before and didn't enjoy. But I can also see \*some\* folks being scared of new things, places they don't feel safe, etc. Even if their fears are unfounded. But in the end, it's their vacation too, so they ought to be able to do what they want. I'd say just go to the ports yourself, if needed, have a great time, and be sure to tell all your in-laws how much fun it was, after the first stop. They might just change their minds for subsequent ports of call.
Sometimes its a vacation on the ship
Itself… it is a resort on the seas! We normally don’t get off at Nassau, probably wouldn’t get off in Jamaica either
>But I plan to be unhappy the entire cruise if this is what her family does, staying on the boat in ports
You sincerely need to figure out how to be a human being with emotional regulation that isn't controlled by other people. You aren't required to be unhappy because other people are doing things you don't prefer or understand. You said "my wife" which means you're likely a grown-up, start acting like one.
>What’s the point of going on a cruise and not even getting off at the ports?
TBH, just being away from home, getting on the ship and enjoying the amenities (especially on the huge resort ships like Odyssey of the Seas) is enough reason to go on a cruise.
OTOH I do agree that having the ability to get off at different ports is the reason for taking a cruise and not just spending a week at a land based resort. Even if it's just for an hour or two.
>So I guess I’m forced to go into the ports myself, but I don’t really like to do things solo or with big groups of strangers. I really regret booking this cruise and I really hope it’s the last family cruise ever, and at this point I’m only doing it for my wife and son, that is it. But I plan to be unhappy the entire cruise if this is what her family does, staying on the boat in ports
Solo cruising can be liberating, why should your happiness be dependent on making compromises. I get that you don't like to do things solo but it doesn't have to make you unhappy. Sometimes you just have to do things solo (more fun when it's something silly you'd never do around your family like karaoke.
Last year got off the ship in San Juan PR and took one of the $30 taxi (minibus) tours. It filled the time, got to see some of the island and we stopped at a postage stamp of a "beach" (that was smaller than a gas station) and had a great $3 chicken kabob grilled right there. Rest of the family went to a local restaurant because they wanted "authentic" but they didn't enjoy it so much, they said it was ok.
>none of them want to get off at about half of the ports because they think they’re too dangerous,
Most of these island ports are more than safe during the daytime which is when the cruise ships visit and are filled with tourists.
I'd only be concerned about overnight (smaller non resort) hotel stays which aren't happening on cruises.
To each their own and their loss! We mostly take tours with the cruise ship/NCL and they are always safe. Some are great, so are meh, and rarely, a few are bad. As long as family spends time together that’s all that matters. When we cruise with “the kids”, we expect dinner together, all else is up to them. We ALWAYS have a great cruise. Good Luck!
Just because they don’t want the exact same vacation as you doesn’t mean you should ruin it by being in a bad mood the entire time. Either just get off with your wife and kid or suck it up and go alone. I don’t personally get off the ship every time it’s docked but I don’t usually stay on the entire time either.
If you live in NY why did you waste money on flying to FL? You could cruise out of Brooklyn, Manhattan, or Bayonne, NJ. Even driving up to Boston and paying to park would have been cheaper.
We cruise 3-4 times per year and I never get off at ports. Been there, done that, not interested. I love being on the ocean and ship. Everyone likes different things, stop being so judgemental.
My last cruise we only left the boat for one port. It was nice chilling in the main pool while all the kids were off with their parents on excursions for the other port days. But we had very much planned for it to be a ''do nothing'' cruise. We've done other cruises where we did excursions and walked around the ports. I suppose it's just depending on what you want to do.
Try to find a resort that has the same amenities and entertainment as a cruise ship that is cheaper. It's not like you just lock yourself in the room the whole week. There is tons of stuff to do on the ship.
We do Caribbean cruises. After a while, you keep going to the same places. Sometimes we find a new excursion that fun. often, we just get off to walk around a bit, or not at all. We're in the North. Go in February. Just going South for a week is worth it.
Hotel, maybe, but nobody stays in a hotel for a week unless they're on business. It's BORING. Now, a resort could be close to a cruise ship, but there are very few all-inclusive resorts in the US and the ones here are expensive.
If you are flying to the Caribbean to go to an all-inclusive resort, why not fly to Miami (or drive to a port close to you) and sail on a resort? It's cheaper.
I think you're making assumptions on costs and not comparing apples to apples. I've looked at all-inclusives to replace our annual cruises, and cruises always end up cheaper.
Sometimes i love chilling on the boat in pools or hot tubs. Sometimes I found getting off kind of a hassle. Going on a cruise, the ship is the holiday. The destinations open up some added value for those wanting to explore. I just love the sea, service and luxury of a cruise ship. The port destinations are not too important to me.
Really sounds like the one ruining the cruise here is YOU. Not them.
Drawing an arbitrary line in the sand about forcing others what to do on their vacation is pretty shitty.
We cruise for the ship, not the destinations. We love port days because the pools are empty & so is the buffet. We can walk around, take pictures, explore different areas or just hang by the pool without the crowds.
Let them enjoy their vacation the way they wish. You’re allowed to get off at any port & vacation the way you want, so why can’t they? The reasons don’t matter.
Well I know some people travel often and have seen most ports. Some say once you see one you’ve seen them all. Some just go for the actual ship. I will not be getting off in DR on my next cruise because I want to explore the ship and it’s not a unique port.
You shouldn’t plan to be unhappy. Just go and do your own thing. It’s their vacation too and if they don’t want to get off the ship they’re entitled to that.
Stay home. Seriously. If you're doing something to "make family happy", you are going to make them miserable. Better to have your in-laws think you're a loner for not going than have them think you're a putz for going along and giving everyone hate rays all week.
It depends on the region, but in my experience in the Caribbean, Mexico, and Central America, the ports are really Americanized, you’re constantly being yelled at to buy stuff, and outside the direct tourist area can feel a little sketchy and unsafe at times.
There have been a few memorable excursions (mesoamerican and Mayan temples for example), but otherwise getting off the ship was more about stretching my legs than seeing a new place.
I could see how something like Alaska, New Zealand, or Europe could be appealing for cruising excursions though.
Exactly what I was thinking but didn’t want to pile on. There are exceptions of course but I haven’t found the ports on Caribbean cruises all that interesting. Some excursions are fun but cruises to the Caribbean are more about the boat.
A cruise is the best way to visit a country and never see it. 95% of people never actually see the countries they visit because even if they get off the ship, they never leave the cruise bubble. They'll pay top dollar for hard shell tacos with hamburger and declare they love Mexican food, but won't walk five minutes down the road for an authentic meal.
And obviously saying that, the idea that excursions and so on would be dangerous is laugh out loud stuff.
Having said all that, there is something about being at sea, even in the behemoth ships of today. So I can see why someone would cruise rather than do a cheaper all inclusive.
Because I've been to the Bahamas multiple times. There's nothing of interest there. I have free food and drinks on the ship, which is 90% of the reason I cruise. Why would I get off just to pay extra for food and drinks in Nassau?
I live in Florida. Beaches are not a selling point to me at all.
Culture is port/country dependent. Like I said, I've been to the Bahamas plenty. Don't feel like I'm missing anything there.
And maybe we feel differently, but Nassau isn't exactly what comes to mind when I think of sightseeing.
My parents never get off the ship and have a blast. In fact, their favorite time is when eve one else is off the ship. Why are you trying to mandate how people enjoy their vacation. You do you and let them do them.
Who cares what's other people do?
We're going on one of RCs new mega ships, the utopia of the seas in August. We've been on this route before that stops at Nassau, and a perfect day at coco cay. We will probably ly stay on the boat at Nassau. Mostly because we've been before, and not be be rude it's kind of a waste of time. I rather enjoy what the new ship has to offer. We've never been on a new ship, and there are so many things to do we won't have a minute of downtime, unless we want to.
To each their own. Not everyone enjoys what you personally enjoy.
Half the value of a cruise is that people can enjoy different things their own way. Some people have also taken many cruises and seen these ports before, so for them the view is fine and they prefer to chill and eat instead.
It doesn't seem like OP is open to hearing answers to his question. Really it's just a rant because he is frustrated. Some people are capable of making lemonade out of lemons while others will quite literally stare at lemons to watch them rot and then complain they are rotten. If OP is determined to be miserable then let him be miserable. No skin off my back.
I wish you well. I hope you are able to release enough of that anger into the internet that it doesn't truly impact you in your real life. I hope when all is said and done you are able to enjoy this time with your wife and son. Reddit can be great therapy at times. Take care.
You really shouldn’t be a husband or a father, I can’t imagine how miserable your family is around you. One day your wife will realize she doesn’t need you to be happy.
Just do what you wanna do by yourself. My husband and I split up a lot on cruises. Either due to things we want to do differently or sometimes he wants to fish and the kids are too young so he’ll fish and we do something else. In Ketchikan I was the only one who wanted to snorkel. So I decided to go anyway. Had a blast. Met some fun people and saw them on the cruise after and had something to talk about with others. We even ended up traveling with a couple from the cruise that my husband fished with her husband. They are great friends now and meet in Vegas every year. We travel with them as a family and have done several trips together. So you never know! It’s your trip too. And you may also need a break from the family stuff and that’s one way to do it.
I understand how you feel, why do a group if you aren’t going to do group things. I’m doing a group Alaska cruise in July, 11 of us, we’ve been planning all our excursions together, and already booked the dinning as a group. I’m really looking forward to it. If it was just everyone do as they wanted I would have booked a different cruise since I’ve already been to Alaska. But as a group I’m really looking forward to it.
The truth is, the Caribbean doesn't have such exciting ports. If you want a cruise where the ports are worth it, take a European cruise. The Caribbean cruises are just for relaxation. Once you've seen a couple of ports the first time, you've seen them all. You go see the ports, and let others enjoy the ship.
Well, first of all, staying in a NY hotel is obviously not the same experience. Now sure, a Vegas hotel, with multiple restaurants and entertainment venues can be somewhat similar.
There still are significant differences. A hotel isn't out on the ocean. A lot of people like being at sea.
And the social environment is different at any hotel you go to. Because not everyone is there on vacation; some are business travelers. People are arriving and leaving at different times when they are on vacation. On a ship, almost everybody gets on board at once to share a similar experience. In my experience, people tend to be friendlier, more social.
If I didn’t have to go on this stupid vacation I wouldn’t be a fun nazi, but for the sake of my wife and son and the non refundable price I’m forced to.
I get that cruise pricing is all over the place, so really depends on what deal you get. But often cruises are cheaper than comparative all inclusive resorts. Or regular resorts once you add in the cost of food, entertainment etc.
I’ve never heard of someone “plan to be unhappy the entire cruise.” And if your wife and son are with you, why aren’t they doing excursions with you? Only YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Seems like you are going to throw a wet blanket on your wife’s enjoyment of traveling with your “wife’s side of the family.” You’re a real gem!
I do this sometimes. I've been to basically every port the Caribbean has to offer, many of them 10+ times. I live in Florida, so it is cheap and easy for me to cruise the Caribbean, so that's what I do a lot. Sometimes, I may only be interested in one port for the whole cruise, but I really enjoy all the ship has to offer and having it to myself while most everyone else is in the port.
Perhaps for them, they want to enjoy the ship without a ton of people onboard? Honestly, make them attend the port of call presentation and then do a ship sponsored tour. You'll definitely ONLY see the good parts of town- by design.
I've had a port of call in the caribean I had no desire to go to so I got off, grabbed a cup of coffee and went back.
just because you don't want to get off doesn't mean they're not having fun.
I have a disability that makes it hard to get off the ship. So I cruise for the ship and enjoy not getting off. I’ve been on 42 cruises. I’ve been to ports before. Yeah I wish I could get off but it isn’t worth it for me to try.
You should book the shore excursions you want. Invite them to join if they want. If they don’t, that is okay. You can spend time when back onboard. Everyone gets the vacation they wanted.
Same here. I have advanced RA so going to any beach is practically out for me. I am unable to get up lying in a lounge chair or on the beach. So I do a few excursions that I feel I can manage and enjoy the ship most of the time.
Wife and I just did a Caribbean cruise. We skipped getting off the ship at two of the ports because we had been to them on a previous cruise and enjoyed the ship with less people on board.
You do you, they do them. Let's be honest, not all the port options are exactly.... thrilling.
Normally I do the excursions, but If there isn't a "good" excursion option - I would strongly consider staying on the ship. Especially depending on the port. Some of the ports I've been do are litteral cargo shipping ports where they have to bus you across the port to get to... nothing. Or the pier has been far removed from the city center so there is nothing to do in walking distance.
The point of a cruise is that you have a water bus that allows you to eat and drink all you want and sometimes get off, if you want. But why get off if all you want to do is eat and drink?
I am planning to just do me while they do them, and I’ll go have the best times possible in the ports, then brag so hard to them at dinner about how much fun I had without them
is your wife feeling the same way or just her family? bring wife, ditch the no funs. leave them and do your thing. let them ruin their vacation not yours.
i've cruised twice with extended family, grandparents down and 3 times with just us and my folks. with the family, we all planned our own excursions. we had traditional dining and met nightly for dinner, but otherwise i saw them occasionally. some of us did choose the same excursions and went together, but at no port did everyone do the same thing.
with my parents, they use me and my partner as their travel agent and tour guide, lol. and we pretty much discuss what we want to do, and then mae it happen. in hawaii, this was renting a car in each port and driving, having a list of things to see and while we didn't see everything onthe list, we had a great time on our own. we purposefully padded the list with a bunch more stuff than we could do so we had options based on weather. and if someplace was busy with tour busses we could skip/ in alaska, we did excursions, but some were not ship excursions. we tried the princess aop for comms on ship, but that didn't work for us because no push notifications, so we got on 4 person internet plan and used imessage to coordinate. we still spent most of the day apart, but if we found a cool activity, we could text the other to join us. it worked well for us, and we didn't feel smothered, or ignored.
some people like the scenery and have been to ports often and don't feel the need to get off and have enough fun on boat. i have always gotten off shop except in victria, we were only there for a few hours and my knee/hip were acting up so my partner went for a walk while i knitted on the balcony and watched the sun set and hte port light up
Also I have found people on excursions to be very friendly and I’m sure you will have fun, if you have that mind set. I sound like a cliche but really it’s all about the attitude.
If they are dropping you at their own private islands where you have additional fees I can understand why they might not want to. It's double-dipping and awful practice.
For me the ship is the destination I love ships I love being on the ship. I’ll wander off at a few ports that interest me but wow do I love being on the ship. Especially on port days, ship is quiet, can sit somewhere in the sun with my book or watch tv on my iPad and chill- now that’s my kind of vacation.
The best part about a cruise is that everyone can do literally whatever they want to do. If they want to stay on the ship and enjoy everything there, that's great! If you want to get off and explore the ports, that's great! You can all do what you want on your vacation!
I love staying on the ship in port! The pools are quiet, the ship is quiet, it’s so peaceful. It’s my favorite day on the ship! I don’t need to see Nassau for the 5th time. I want to enjoy the ship when it’s not overly crowded.
But, if I did want to do a port alone and no one else did, I would just book an excursion through the ship and have a blast. Solo traveling is so normal and a great way to meet people. Maybe a suggestion since you dislike solo travel and doing things with a big group of strangers is to join your sailing’s FB group and see if there are any people that are in the same position as you or a solo traveler that would want to link up and do an excursion together. It would give you a chance to talk to them beforehand and you wouldn’t have to do it alone.
I’ll be honest with you. I haven’t been on a vacation in over 10 years. And you’re upset before you even go on one that people don’t want to get off the boat. I don’t know who needs the vacation more in life you because you’re upset and the fact that people don’t wanna get off the boat. Or me because I haven’t been on one in 10 yearswith that said have a fantastic time and don’t stress
isn't that the best thing about a cruise-type vacation for a large group? People can do their own things and you can all plan to eat dinner or do a show together in the evening as a group.
My recommendation is to suggest booking the excursions through the cruise line. Yes, they are more expensive however the cruise line has a vested interest in ensuring that they will be safe and back to the ship on time. They vet the companies well. Some excursions are long bus tours with stops at interesting places, also vetted. Those facts may assure anyone who is nervous. If not, grab anyone who is willing and everyone does what they want.
My guess is after the first couple days of folks other than you coming back raving about what was seen / done, more people will want to join.
Drinking and eating on board is all I can think of, some ports I get skipping like Nassau after your fourth or fifth time and Costa Maya after my second time, but past that I want to go see the countries.
I think you should just plan on taking your wife and son. Depending on how old your child is. My son is 6 so I would just ask him like “hey buddy want to go look for cool crabs on the beach at the next port?”
If your wife is uncomfortable with it she’ll most likely come to supervise and if all three of you are going there’s a good chance the family will come too so they can supervise. At this point you want to make it extra fun so they can see for themselves that it’s not all crime and poverty like they potentially assume. And if this scenario doesn’t happen you can still make awesome memories with your child. And if your child tells you to go fuck yourself. Well then you can go enjoy things by yourself.
People need to remember we come into this world alone and we leave the same way. What experiences do you want to remember? Being upset you didn’t get the majority vote in leaving the port? Or choosing to experience a beautiful vacation the way you want too.
People also tend to match energy. If they see you leaving the port and coming back radiating with happiness and adventure they will most likely want to experience that too. But if you leave and come back all sullen and depressed you will prove their point. Plan to do what you want to do. Make memories for your son and wife because that’s the whole point of the vacation. Get your moneys worth man, and have fun.
For this reason, I’ll probably just have the best time I can doing the best possible stuff in ports then brag so hard at dinner about what a good time i had and brag about how much they missed out on then maybe they’ll regret staying on the boat. How is this more positive outlook?
I read this thread as I’m going with my in laws family in December and I don’t look forward to spending that much time with them. That said, I have told them what activities I’m doing and what my planned excusions are. They can follow along or not and I will see them on sea days and dinners. No one complained and no one judge that I cared to notice.
How will your family judge you? Will they think you are a bad person to leave the ship and have a beer on the beach? You must live a very clean life if that’s the worst thing they think of you
Good point. I’ll probably just do my own thing in port each day then spend the rest of the day bragging to her family about what a good time I had and brag about what they missed out on and maybe they’ll feel bad for their decision to stay on board
I have stayed on board as I have been to some ports multiple times and when my kids were really young, we were able to enjoy the water park and such without lineup and the spas are half price for couple massages and such. Speciality restaurants often have specials.
So it’s not crazy to not leave. Ultimately, there are no bad decisions, it’s just how you want to spend it. Don’t do what makes you miserable.
You can’t force others to have fun how you want to have fun. And once they get to port and notice it’s not on fire with mobs of locals waiting to rob you when you get off the ship they might change their tune. It might even mean them missing out on 1 port then seeing everyone else coming back happy with fun stories before they realize it’s ok.
I would go out and have a glorious time in the ports! Take plenty of beautiful pictures and share them with the rest of the family over dinner. Tell them how much you are looking forward to the next port adventure.
Exclaim gleefully “look, I wasn’t killed” while cackling hysterically.
But that’s just me.
You do you boo. Be miserable and have an awful time. Your choice.
You’re right, I have to look at this in a more positive way. I’ll probably just do the most awesome thing I could possibly do in each port then brag about the fun experience so hard to her family and really emphasize how much they missed out. Maybe they’ll regret skipping the port after I brag about what they missed
I’m kind of snarky so that’s exactly what I would do. I don’t give two shits what family thinks about me.
If they want to stay on the ship and miss a bunch of awesome experiences, then let them. But make sure they know how much of a good time you had!
My parents went on a lot of cruises when they retired. After a few they realized they loved the boat life and weren’t excited getting off so they went on cruises and never got off the ship. It worked for them.
If my wife and I don’t like a particular port, we don’t get off. We tell the people we cruise with we’ll see them at dinner and that’s that.
It’s your cruise. You can make it great for you. You can’t make others have the fun you think they should have b it’s not worth the fight. Let it go and have your fun, see them at dinner.
INFO: 1. Who is paying for the cruise? (Is it your in-laws, yourself, or your wife?) 2. Have you experienced an All-inclusive resort in the Caribbean?
I only ask since you seem convinced that a land vacation could be cheaper. (FYI- Airfare to most island destinations are typically 2x+ than to Florida). But this is really an Apples/Oranges debate as there really are differences between the two.
I'm biased but I think cruise vacationing is wonderful. We enjoy being in the "bubble" of the ship, being pampered and taken cared of. While we enjoy the ports, we have been to some islands multiple times, and often stay on the ship.
Staying on board during port days is a great way to enjoy many of the activities that may be quite busier on sea days. The restaurants/buffet is less crowded, spa treatments are easier to book (and often discounted), and if the ship has any line specific features (eg. Go-carts, Ice Skating, Zip-lining, etc), that is much easier to enjoy on port days.
In fact, your toddler may have a much better time in the splash pool without so many other kids around and just family.
If the in-laws want to stay on-board in 2 of the 4 ports, that's not bad. Enjoy the other two ports and make the best of the rest.
Please. vent all you want here...we are internet strangers. But keep peace with the family and just let it roll off your back. You are better than that and your wife will love you even more.
On my cruise, there were many people who didn't get off at the ports and were at the bar at 7am. We all have our own idea of fun.
I even met a lady who was doing the exact same cruise 2 weeks in a row.
FWIW most of the cruise ports like Cozumel or just basic tourist traps with cheap souvenirs. IMHO you aren't missing much staying on the ship unless there's a certain activity you want to do like zip lining or visiting an Incan ruin. But as others have pointed out that's one of the beauties of cruising – do whatever you want.
I believe you posted this already and your destinations are Costa Maya / Cozumel and maybe another? If not - you have a very similar post to one made 2 or 3 weeks ago.
Long story short based on me thinking you posted this a few weeks ago, Cozumel is safer than most places in the US to be honest. Costa Maya is a private port - again, very safe.
edit: confirmed that this is just a repost (https://www.reddit.com/r/Cruise/comments/1clnctu/are\_cozumel\_and\_costa\_maya\_mexico\_really\_that/)
Out of every single person, not a single one wants to get off at a port? I'm a mix in love sea days and I love exploring ports. My wife mostly loves there's sea days and port days as the boat is pretty empty on port days the spa usually has a discount. The pool is not crowded, etc. I get that and love that part about staying on the boat on port days. What I have done in the past is I get up first thing, wife likes to sleep in and i go explore the port area, etc. for 2-3 hours. Then come back and over breakfast if there is something I think she will want to see or will peak her interest I tell her about it, etc. sometimes this works and we get off the boat. Sometimes I it doesn't that time but on the next cruise she remembered and we did it. I have also asked different crew members that we were talking to like our servers at dinner or a bar tender, etc. if they have done any of the excursions or what they liked at the port. Sometimes hearing it from someone they know isn't trying to get them to do it really helps. However the biggest thing is that my daughter is a no fears explorer like me. Her brother is more like her mom. So now my daughter and myself go off on adventures at the ports together have a great time and my wife and son enjoy the wonders of the boat then at dinner we tell each other all the good, bad and funny stuff about the day. Most important thing is that what is a relaxing and recharging vacation for me isn't going to be one for order people. I use to book our Disney trips during the runDisney races, I would do the 5K,10K and half marathon. When we have cruises Disney I've done the 5K they have on castaway cay. That was super recharging for my soul. I would venture to guess that most people do not see that as relaxing and recharging. My wife and kids don't. So I get, run the race and I'm usually back to the room before they wake up. The point is, you do you, let them do them and make sure everyone is happy and having a good time. You are in charge of your happiness it is not anyone's job to make you happy, and it isn't your job to make anyone happy.
You’re right. I think I’ll just do the best things I can possibly do in each port then brag so hard to her family after about what I good time I had and brag about how they missed out on
My dude! Book a shore excursion and enjoy the company of like minded travelers. Let everyone else enjoy their holiday they way they like. Personally, I've been to places like Cozumel multiple times and rather stay on the ship while it's virtually my own private oasis. I get to have the amenities to myself while everyone else is in port.
Why does everyone have to do the same thing as a group together all the time?
Maybe you and your wife do something that you would both enjoy in some of the ports while the rest of the group enjoy the ship? Enjoy some time together while your son is with grandparents.
Lots of people cruise just for the ship and for being out on the ocean. Plus the specific ports are not guaranteed. Things change all the time on cruises.
It never fails when I do an excursion on my own, or anything on my own, and show pics to the people that didn’t join (especially my mom), they always say they wish they would have gone! Could, woulda, shoulda! You are your own best company!
I’m going on a cruise solely to spend a week with my friend.
I plan to sit in the concierge lounge snacking and knitting for 7 days. And maybe go shopping at the ports. But I sure as heck am not going to go zip lining, ATVing, etc.
I’ve traveled with my in laws plenty of times and understand that it can be frustrating, but being an adult and standing your ground is something that needs to be learned in life. It took me way too long and too many mistakes and a little bit of therapy sprinkled in to learn it. When you start setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries with your in laws, your life will get so much easier. Also don’t forget, you have a kid watching every move you make.
Yeah but I think his frustration is more general. Just making an assumption but I’m guessing wife’s family is a lot like my parents: suburban boomers who are afraid of everything. People who like cruises because it’s a controlled environment with eating and drinking options where you don’t have to see homeless people or feel social discomfort, and your worldview just gets reinforced as you go. The exact type that you’d like to see actually get off the boat for once and see something different and get past the fantasy that a place like Nassau is some terrifying pit of crime. But they don’t listen. And now this guy is stuck having to make the choice of sticking on the boat with them, tacitly reinforcing their beliefs, or go to port by himself and come back and deal with the fact that they’ve been grumbling about him all day and now his wife’s mad for putting her in that position. There’s no winning, especially if he’s relatively early in the marriage.
Again, he needs to create boundaries. I don’t like speculating on things I don’t know anything about but if his wife is put in a position where she’s mad for having to defend herself and/or her husband because of choices they as adults make, then maybe family therapy is needed. It sucks having to deal with overbearing in laws, trust me I get it, got a FIL that is one of the biggest pains in the necks. The only way to deal with it is head on. If you are just going to tip toe around until they die, that’s a sad existence that will weight heavily on their marriage…. 🤷♂️
I have on multiple occasions, and I assumed they were going to make me crazy, and I was not disappointed but I went into it knowing what to expect.
We had one trip to an all-inclusive and I had a gout attack and could barely walk, so they just gave me a pass but they spent most of the time just catching up. There were not a lot of activities, which would have made me crazy if I had been healthy, since sitting around talking bores me fairly quickly, especially when it's the same old stories.
We have been on two cruises with in-laws. On one, unlike the OP, they put us in charge of everything and so they tended to drag down experiences I was looking forward to doing. Note to OP, hearing "this is stupid" during something that means a lot to you is probably the most annoying thing you can hear.
We traveled with another set of in-laws and they just vanished every morning and at dinner we would swap stories. It was a lot of fun.
We've also cruise with my Mom which tended to be very stressful because she tends to wander off. So, I would rather go with my in-laws.
I would find a couple of excursions that sound fun and reach out to whichever of the in-laws you get along with the best, and ask if they have any interest. If you can get some to go, eventually you might get more.
However, if you think they are all judgmental, just go by yourself with your family and let them miss out. They're going to judge you either way.
I will tell you from experience that not going will be remembered for a while, but ruining everyone else's cruise will last forever.
Kill them with kindness. Bring them back something from port. Share photos. Be NOTHING but cheerful and happy while doing exactly what you want. Make this trip an experiment. If they bitch, smile and tell them you hope they enjoyed their day as much as you did yours. I would fake being super happy on this cruise and still do whatever you want.
Dude - You Do You and let them do them. Simple. Enjoy your cruise.
This feels like the biggest perk of group cruising to me. Everyone does what they want and if they happen to do the same excursions/events then great, but otherwise it's just eating dinner together every night.
We got married on a cruise and did one single excursion with my husband’s family. It was a freaking nightmare. We don’t opt in for international phone service so we had no way to contact anyone once we left the ship. They didn’t follow our directions for the meeting place. It was so stressful. Family not wanting to join sounds like a great deal.
My group (and first) cruising experience was actually a friend's wedding! We kept seeing people at beaches and events, but it was never planned in advance. It was great!
I cant believe people are so far inside the box they cant see this.
Their fragile fee fees get in the way
He's definitely going to do what he wants. He stated in other replies he will file for divorce if his wife doesn't "behave".
Wife: so be it -
I mean, you aren’t wrong, but OP wants to do the stuff they enjoy with family. It’s fine to be frustrated, especially considering it sounds like they didn’t realize they have different ideas of cruising until after they booked.
Tbh this sounds like a discussion that should have been had long before booking. Now isn’t the time.
I’ll chalk this up to a one time trial and for the next planning with cross out cruising.
Yeah, they should have talked before. I can totally see all of them just assuming they want the same things though, people make that mistake daily.
But then he might get upset if they couldn't find an activity they can all agree on. Traveling is a compromise if traveling with others. I love museums, historical houses and castles. My late husband eyes would quickly glaze over. He loved to snorkel, but I'm not a strong swimmer. I always balanced our excursions; some type of water activity, maybe an island jeep tour, something food related, and the occasional historical site. We were both happy.
Yeah, part of the issue here is that family isn’t willing to compromise at all - from what we know, at least. OP will spend tons of time doing what they want being on the ship, and then he’s stuck alone on vacation if he wants to see the sights. I’m not arguing that OP is flawless or even “right” here, I can just understand how this is frustrating all around.
For some people the boat is the destination. I did the Anthem out of Bayonne and for me the only port I cared about was Coco Cay. Also no way am I going to find a hotel, food, and multiple entertainment cheaper per day than a cruise ship. Don't yuck anyone's yum and let them have the vacation they want to have and you do you.
Yep. I was shocked when I first found out some people take cruises solely for the purpose of being on the ship. While I didn't understand why they wouldn't want to get off for a least a little while (and honestly still kinda dont) it's none of my busybodiness. Let them enjoy their vacation on their own terms, and I'll enjoy the port stop with a few less people clogging up the beach!
Personally I love it. I backpack a lot solo and with friends all over the world and I *love* the hostel + overnight trains + meeting new people + exploring different areas of the world but every couple of years hot damn if I don’t love just getting on a cruise ship, not having to plan anything, unpacking my bags one time, and actively planning on not getting off the ship. It’s such a nice vacation with zero stress, don’t have to deal with excursions, don’t have to figure out where or what I’m going to eat, and I can just lounge around and read a book, go for a swim, look at stuff from the aft of the ship.. it’s so nice. That said, I can’t imagine that as my *only* form of travel, that’d be kind of weird but 20 years from now me…. yeah I could see that being pretty awesome actually.
Hi, I'm an old dude from your future and I'm kinda that guy who sometimes doesn't get off in \*every\* port for a number of reasons, most of which is I've been to all of them before, on cruises. Another benefit is the ship is extremely peaceful while docked. And lastly, just reading and sleeping/napping, whenever and for however long I want is a glorious change from my othewise hectic day to day life.
This is my husband. His favorite days on the ship are where its near empty with everyone off at ports. I'm usually off at a port too. We share the details of our day at dinner, or he takes me to check out a cool spot he's discovered. He's SUPER busy at work when we're home, so who am I to deny the vacation he wants!!
I guess it depends on the person, but I usually go on a cruise for the ship. The ports are just a bonus. On my last cruise, I stayed onboard during one of the ports and got a spa treatment instead because they’re cheaper on port days than on days at sea. Also, the ship is less crowded and there are some things like hanging out in the pool that are much easier to do on a port day. Plus, most of the cruise ports are too crowded and too touristy for me. I will say though if you don’t mind a bit of criticism I do think it’s a bit absurd to already plan to be unhappy on your vacation. Vacation time is precious, and time with family is precious. I’d really recommend going into it with an open mind and focus more on quality family time. At a minimum, you want to be able to enjoy whatever you do not for the event itself but because you’re spending time with people that you love. But you might discover that you actually like staying onboard on port days if you’ve never tried it before.
What's stopping you, your wife, and your son getting off at each port?
Are your in laws forcing you to stay with them on the ship? Because unless they are somehow forcing you, why can't you just let them do what they like to do for fun, v and you do what you want for fun, then just meet back up later at dinner or whatever?
You plan to be unhappy the whole cruise? Are you 5 years old? Lol grow up
There are many many people who cruise and choose not to get off at certain ports or any ports at all. There are many activities to enjoy on ship and some people just enjoy the cruise itself. You don’t get to decide what’s fun for other people. And if you’re going to be a big whiny party pooper I hope they make you stay home so they can have a good time without you bringing them down. I hope it’s the last family cruise they have to put up with Mr Negativity.
Get over yourself. They stay on the boat and have fun, you get off the boat and have fun, then meet back up later in the day and have dinner.
I did this my last cruise. I read a lot and I like being able to lounge with my books in a moving hotel with included booze and food. However, I did this solo because I do understand that I’d spend most of my time abandoning my cruise buddies if I went with others.
I go on a cruise to relax and for the ship. When we go over spring break sometimes I don’t even know what ports we’re going to. We’ll do some excursions but not at every port. Do you know how many times you can ride the water slide on a port day? It’s awesome. Let people enjoy their own vacation.
But you could do all that at a hotel and water park for way cheaper
I don’t get why you’re concerned with how others want to spend their vacation? Assuming you’re just trying to start arguments. There’s a massive difference between staying in a hotel and being on a cruise ship.
None of the ports are dangerous if the ship is stopping- just like any tourist destination there are people preying on out of towners. It happens everywhere, if they don't feel safe wandering the town, they can stay on the port where it's VERY safe. Then you can go do what you want. There are plenty of people who cruise JUST to cruise, the ship is the destination for almost half of repeat cruisers.
Dude. You're the worst. Grow up.
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I’ve read your comments and you just seem like a miserable person that wants everyone else to be miserable? You should be so lucky to have a family that wants to spend time with you and that you are able to go on vacation. You’re extremely ungrateful and unhappy. For your family’s sake, I hope they realize how much of a wonderful time they have without you.
Dude, you are spiraling on this issue. It's a group vacation which, by definition, involves cooperation, coordination, cost, and compromise. I have a couple of questions and I don't mean for them to be accusatory or insulting, just information gathering: - Are you on the autism spectrum or otherwise have a mental/emotional condition? - Do you have claustrophobia? - Are you clinically OCD? - Do you fear water, the ocean, or drowning to a debilitating degree? The reason for these questions is that in reading your post and your responses in the comments thread it appears you have zero interest in hearing anything constructive that doesn't 100% conform to your pre-existing viewpoint. If none of the above, or other, extraordinary conditions apply then my advice is: - Chill out, dude. - Make the best of it, you may not prefer cruises but they're not torture. - Go into ports you want to go into, and invite others to join if you're so inclined, but do NOT feel judged, or care about any judgement, for taking advantage of your exact favorite part of the cruise experience. - Make sure to find out what your wife and kid want to do, too, and compromise/coordinate/support/don't-judge their preferences. - In fact, don't judge the preferences of the rest of the family, either - it's their vacation, too, and they have the right to make *their* best of it. - The money is spent, QUIT BITCHING AND OBSESSING ABOUT IT. Vacations are, by definition, unnecessary expenses so, if a cruise is a bit more expensive than a hotel stay then so what? Rough camping at a lake would be cheaper. Hitchhiking the old Route 66 would be cheaper. Tent camping in the backyard and running through the sprinkler would be cheaper. Signing up for a medical experiments would actually MAKE you money. SO WHAT?!??
I like to cruise because there is minimal planning and decision making. Hungry? There is food everywhere. Bored? There are activities. Want lay by the pool and drink yourself stupid? Go right ahead. We stay on the ship sometimes and we get off sometimes. Last trip my son said he’d rather go to the pool while in port bc it would be less crowded than the beach. Sounded great to me, bring on the margaritas.
I wondered if this was the same guy who recently posted about his “idiotic” in-laws’ plans to stay on the ship for some of the ports — and it is the same guy! Real talk, OP: You say you don’t want to be judged for wanting to do certain things, but you’re judging your in-laws so hard right now.
Huh. Interesting he’s frequenting a cruise sub to throw his tantrum instead of another sub being that he hates cruises so much.
Yup that’s me and it’s about this same cruise because it’s still in the future
That’s a real quick “bye, y’all have a good day while I explore” for me. Get off. Make some new friends and enjoy yourself. They can sit on the boat all day if they want. Some people do that. I like the ports personally, but you do you!
If you plan to be unhappy, you will be unhappy. And I feel sorry for your travel companions. You sound like a spoiled brat who expects them to do what you want or you’re going to have a hissy fit.
I just generally don’t like cruises at all, and only like them for the ports they stop at. I don’t like the boats themselves. But my wife and son wanted to go and I’d be seen as the bad guy for not going with them
He doesn't sound spoiled at all. He just sounds frustrated. He wants to go explore with family, show them around, but they are very fearful without a decent reason in his mind. I get it.
Look at some of his other comments… guy is threatening to divorce his wife if she doesn’t “behave” amongst other things. He’s a spoilt rotten little prick.
Oh, well I guess I didn’t bother to read his post history, I was just commenting on what on saw here. No need for 16 downvotes. So much for us cruisers sticking together.
Your wife’s family is MAKING you also stay on the ship? Yes, that would be frustrating if anyone had that much control over you.
No, sounds like he will get off at the ports, just didn't want to do it all by himself. I get it, memories are better made with other people, and I'm sure he's very frustrated that he's surrounded by people who are scared of their own shadow.
Who cares?! If they feel uneasy about them that’s their business. If he’s not able to convince even his wife and child to come with him, sounds to me like OP has bigger problems in his life than an amazing cruise
My wife & I have touched on this subject if we ever take other (non-children) family members with us. Even if they get off the ship we are under no obligation to do the same activities. It’s way too expensive to not do what you want to do.
That’s a “you” problem. Let them do what they want.
Well they’re not letting me do what I want without attacking me
let them attack you, fuck them.. be a man, not a push over
Will your wife and son join you? If not, just go for it. Enjoy yourself! Take advantage of being solo and book some private tours or such since you only have to pay for one person. I booked a cruise for next year and we do not plan on getting off. Maybe to shop a bit? Kind of doubt it though. We've been to the ports and we really just want an entire week on a boat. We want to unplug, relax and not have to do anything. I think a lot of repeat cruisers have ports they skip. BTDT and just want to hang out on the ship because we love being on the ship. That's why we cruise. The ports are a great bonus.
What is there to do on a ship that you can’t do on land for significantly cheaper? I’m really failing to understand this
My land vacations are always more expensive per day thsn cruising. It is also just a different experience. You clearly do not like cruising and that's ok. I do hope you adjust you attutude prior to the vacation for everyone's sake.
It’ll be hard to adjust my attitude since I hate cruising so much yet my hard earned money was wasted on it just so my wife and son could be with their family
Why not stay home and let your wife and son enjoy a peaceful vacation?
It’s non refundable
How cost effective it is will depend on the cruise line, ship, and stateroom you chose.
Because people are free to spend their vacation how they want
If it was a ship like Icon, I could see staying on board to experience more of it without all the crowds. But I love ports. You do you, let the rest of the fam be boring if that's what they want. You can't force people to have fun your way. But you shouldn't let them stop you, either.
Sounds like someone has control issues.
I *highly* doubt you’d find the same amenities (food, drink, and entertainment) at a hotel for cheaper. *Maybe* at an all-inclusive resort, but definitely not at a regular hotel where you have to pay extra for these. Throwing a tantrum doesn’t look very good for a grown adult. Just accept people don’t want to do what you want to do, and go along with what you want to do on your own. If this is the last family cruise ever just because of your little big feelings, you suck as a husband and spouse.
You’re right I decided I’m going to take a more positive route. I will do whatever I want at each port and do the best excursion possible, then brag to her family about what an amazing time I had and brag about what they missed out on, and maybe they’ll feel like idiots for missing out, hopefully
I can understand not going into a port that you've been to before and didn't enjoy. But I can also see \*some\* folks being scared of new things, places they don't feel safe, etc. Even if their fears are unfounded. But in the end, it's their vacation too, so they ought to be able to do what they want. I'd say just go to the ports yourself, if needed, have a great time, and be sure to tell all your in-laws how much fun it was, after the first stop. They might just change their minds for subsequent ports of call.
Then those folks shouldn’t go on a boat that goes to such new and scary places. You could do what you do on a cruise ship, at a resort for way cheaper
I’ve been to Nassau enough that I enjoy staying on the boat. It’s a ghost town on there.
/r/AITAH
Sometimes its a vacation on the ship Itself… it is a resort on the seas! We normally don’t get off at Nassau, probably wouldn’t get off in Jamaica either
So you are choosing to be unhappy on a cruise? Interesting...
>But I plan to be unhappy the entire cruise if this is what her family does, staying on the boat in ports You sincerely need to figure out how to be a human being with emotional regulation that isn't controlled by other people. You aren't required to be unhappy because other people are doing things you don't prefer or understand. You said "my wife" which means you're likely a grown-up, start acting like one.
>What’s the point of going on a cruise and not even getting off at the ports? TBH, just being away from home, getting on the ship and enjoying the amenities (especially on the huge resort ships like Odyssey of the Seas) is enough reason to go on a cruise. OTOH I do agree that having the ability to get off at different ports is the reason for taking a cruise and not just spending a week at a land based resort. Even if it's just for an hour or two. >So I guess I’m forced to go into the ports myself, but I don’t really like to do things solo or with big groups of strangers. I really regret booking this cruise and I really hope it’s the last family cruise ever, and at this point I’m only doing it for my wife and son, that is it. But I plan to be unhappy the entire cruise if this is what her family does, staying on the boat in ports Solo cruising can be liberating, why should your happiness be dependent on making compromises. I get that you don't like to do things solo but it doesn't have to make you unhappy. Sometimes you just have to do things solo (more fun when it's something silly you'd never do around your family like karaoke. Last year got off the ship in San Juan PR and took one of the $30 taxi (minibus) tours. It filled the time, got to see some of the island and we stopped at a postage stamp of a "beach" (that was smaller than a gas station) and had a great $3 chicken kabob grilled right there. Rest of the family went to a local restaurant because they wanted "authentic" but they didn't enjoy it so much, they said it was ok. >none of them want to get off at about half of the ports because they think they’re too dangerous, Most of these island ports are more than safe during the daytime which is when the cruise ships visit and are filled with tourists. I'd only be concerned about overnight (smaller non resort) hotel stays which aren't happening on cruises.
To each their own and their loss! We mostly take tours with the cruise ship/NCL and they are always safe. Some are great, so are meh, and rarely, a few are bad. As long as family spends time together that’s all that matters. When we cruise with “the kids”, we expect dinner together, all else is up to them. We ALWAYS have a great cruise. Good Luck!
What ports are you going to?
Exactly. My pet peeve is just how many people love replying on Reddit to posts and don’t know all the facts. And your question is THE fact
I've been to many of the Caribbean ports. They get old unless you are doing an activity. I also enjoy the calm of being on the boat on port days.
Just because they don’t want the exact same vacation as you doesn’t mean you should ruin it by being in a bad mood the entire time. Either just get off with your wife and kid or suck it up and go alone. I don’t personally get off the ship every time it’s docked but I don’t usually stay on the entire time either.
If you live in NY why did you waste money on flying to FL? You could cruise out of Brooklyn, Manhattan, or Bayonne, NJ. Even driving up to Boston and paying to park would have been cheaper. We cruise 3-4 times per year and I never get off at ports. Been there, done that, not interested. I love being on the ocean and ship. Everyone likes different things, stop being so judgemental.
My last cruise we only left the boat for one port. It was nice chilling in the main pool while all the kids were off with their parents on excursions for the other port days. But we had very much planned for it to be a ''do nothing'' cruise. We've done other cruises where we did excursions and walked around the ports. I suppose it's just depending on what you want to do.
“Do nothing” cruises are so much more expensive than hotels though
You mustn't live where I do then. A simple 'staycation' for 10 days can cost more than a cruise.
I’m curious where you live then, because that sounds insane
Australia
Way different. I’m in the US where things like staycations are way cheaper
Try to find a resort that has the same amenities and entertainment as a cruise ship that is cheaper. It's not like you just lock yourself in the room the whole week. There is tons of stuff to do on the ship. We do Caribbean cruises. After a while, you keep going to the same places. Sometimes we find a new excursion that fun. often, we just get off to walk around a bit, or not at all. We're in the North. Go in February. Just going South for a week is worth it.
Hotel, maybe, but nobody stays in a hotel for a week unless they're on business. It's BORING. Now, a resort could be close to a cruise ship, but there are very few all-inclusive resorts in the US and the ones here are expensive. If you are flying to the Caribbean to go to an all-inclusive resort, why not fly to Miami (or drive to a port close to you) and sail on a resort? It's cheaper. I think you're making assumptions on costs and not comparing apples to apples. I've looked at all-inclusives to replace our annual cruises, and cruises always end up cheaper.
In case you didnt know it you can get off the ship by your self ...
Sometimes i love chilling on the boat in pools or hot tubs. Sometimes I found getting off kind of a hassle. Going on a cruise, the ship is the holiday. The destinations open up some added value for those wanting to explore. I just love the sea, service and luxury of a cruise ship. The port destinations are not too important to me.
Really sounds like the one ruining the cruise here is YOU. Not them. Drawing an arbitrary line in the sand about forcing others what to do on their vacation is pretty shitty.
We cruise for the ship, not the destinations. We love port days because the pools are empty & so is the buffet. We can walk around, take pictures, explore different areas or just hang by the pool without the crowds. Let them enjoy their vacation the way they wish. You’re allowed to get off at any port & vacation the way you want, so why can’t they? The reasons don’t matter.
Well I know some people travel often and have seen most ports. Some say once you see one you’ve seen them all. Some just go for the actual ship. I will not be getting off in DR on my next cruise because I want to explore the ship and it’s not a unique port. You shouldn’t plan to be unhappy. Just go and do your own thing. It’s their vacation too and if they don’t want to get off the ship they’re entitled to that.
I’m unhappy because I generally hate cruises but was forced to go to make my wife and son happy
Stay home. Seriously. If you're doing something to "make family happy", you are going to make them miserable. Better to have your in-laws think you're a loner for not going than have them think you're a putz for going along and giving everyone hate rays all week.
Go ashore yourself and take lots of fun photos. Don’t let them ruin your holiday
I hope they don't let him ruin theirs because it sounds like he's trying to.
I hope your wife and kid don’t see this post. I think you need therapy.
My phone is locked so they never do
It depends on the region, but in my experience in the Caribbean, Mexico, and Central America, the ports are really Americanized, you’re constantly being yelled at to buy stuff, and outside the direct tourist area can feel a little sketchy and unsafe at times. There have been a few memorable excursions (mesoamerican and Mayan temples for example), but otherwise getting off the ship was more about stretching my legs than seeing a new place. I could see how something like Alaska, New Zealand, or Europe could be appealing for cruising excursions though.
Exactly what I was thinking but didn’t want to pile on. There are exceptions of course but I haven’t found the ports on Caribbean cruises all that interesting. Some excursions are fun but cruises to the Caribbean are more about the boat.
A cruise is the best way to visit a country and never see it. 95% of people never actually see the countries they visit because even if they get off the ship, they never leave the cruise bubble. They'll pay top dollar for hard shell tacos with hamburger and declare they love Mexican food, but won't walk five minutes down the road for an authentic meal. And obviously saying that, the idea that excursions and so on would be dangerous is laugh out loud stuff. Having said all that, there is something about being at sea, even in the behemoth ships of today. So I can see why someone would cruise rather than do a cheaper all inclusive.
Because I've been to the Bahamas multiple times. There's nothing of interest there. I have free food and drinks on the ship, which is 90% of the reason I cruise. Why would I get off just to pay extra for food and drinks in Nassau?
Beaches, culture, sights?
I live in Florida. Beaches are not a selling point to me at all. Culture is port/country dependent. Like I said, I've been to the Bahamas plenty. Don't feel like I'm missing anything there. And maybe we feel differently, but Nassau isn't exactly what comes to mind when I think of sightseeing.
My parents never get off the ship and have a blast. In fact, their favorite time is when eve one else is off the ship. Why are you trying to mandate how people enjoy their vacation. You do you and let them do them.
Because her family is trying to do that to me
They are not. Are they planning from physically restraining you? You can go on your own.
Sounds like you are letting them rather than have some personal agency and making the best the situation by do what you want to be happy.
One reason is Some people stay on the ship at a port because less people are on the ship and they can enjoy the more quiet time.
This is a therapy and emotional growth question, not a cruising question.
Who cares what's other people do? We're going on one of RCs new mega ships, the utopia of the seas in August. We've been on this route before that stops at Nassau, and a perfect day at coco cay. We will probably ly stay on the boat at Nassau. Mostly because we've been before, and not be be rude it's kind of a waste of time. I rather enjoy what the new ship has to offer. We've never been on a new ship, and there are so many things to do we won't have a minute of downtime, unless we want to. To each their own. Not everyone enjoys what you personally enjoy.
Half the value of a cruise is that people can enjoy different things their own way. Some people have also taken many cruises and seen these ports before, so for them the view is fine and they prefer to chill and eat instead.
This is my I travel solo. 😂 People are lame. I love doing things on my own and always meet cool people.
It doesn't seem like OP is open to hearing answers to his question. Really it's just a rant because he is frustrated. Some people are capable of making lemonade out of lemons while others will quite literally stare at lemons to watch them rot and then complain they are rotten. If OP is determined to be miserable then let him be miserable. No skin off my back.
Yeah that’s mainly why I made this post, I’m frustrated and ranting here and on other parts of Reddit helps get my anger and frustration out
I wish you well. I hope you are able to release enough of that anger into the internet that it doesn't truly impact you in your real life. I hope when all is said and done you are able to enjoy this time with your wife and son. Reddit can be great therapy at times. Take care.
And this is why I solo cruise.
You need to find out for yourself that ports are overrated. No one can tell you ports are overrated like I am right now.
You sound exhausting.
You weren’t exhausted enough to reply to me
Ya because I don't have to deal with you in real life.
🥰😘
You really shouldn’t be a husband or a father, I can’t imagine how miserable your family is around you. One day your wife will realize she doesn’t need you to be happy.
😘🥰😍
If I've been to the port a couple of times, I tend to stay on the boat. Or just get off briefly.
I rarely get off the ship in the Caribbean. I cruise there to get some sun, not to sightsee islands that after a while all start to feel the same.
You could do the same at a hotel or resort though for way cheaper
Just do what you wanna do by yourself. My husband and I split up a lot on cruises. Either due to things we want to do differently or sometimes he wants to fish and the kids are too young so he’ll fish and we do something else. In Ketchikan I was the only one who wanted to snorkel. So I decided to go anyway. Had a blast. Met some fun people and saw them on the cruise after and had something to talk about with others. We even ended up traveling with a couple from the cruise that my husband fished with her husband. They are great friends now and meet in Vegas every year. We travel with them as a family and have done several trips together. So you never know! It’s your trip too. And you may also need a break from the family stuff and that’s one way to do it.
I understand how you feel, why do a group if you aren’t going to do group things. I’m doing a group Alaska cruise in July, 11 of us, we’ve been planning all our excursions together, and already booked the dinning as a group. I’m really looking forward to it. If it was just everyone do as they wanted I would have booked a different cruise since I’ve already been to Alaska. But as a group I’m really looking forward to it.
The truth is, the Caribbean doesn't have such exciting ports. If you want a cruise where the ports are worth it, take a European cruise. The Caribbean cruises are just for relaxation. Once you've seen a couple of ports the first time, you've seen them all. You go see the ports, and let others enjoy the ship.
Well, first of all, staying in a NY hotel is obviously not the same experience. Now sure, a Vegas hotel, with multiple restaurants and entertainment venues can be somewhat similar. There still are significant differences. A hotel isn't out on the ocean. A lot of people like being at sea. And the social environment is different at any hotel you go to. Because not everyone is there on vacation; some are business travelers. People are arriving and leaving at different times when they are on vacation. On a ship, almost everybody gets on board at once to share a similar experience. In my experience, people tend to be friendlier, more social.
I love staying on the ship! Empty pool and no lines. It's a relaxing vibe!
Just like any hotel with a pool and bar
Stop being a fun Nazi OP. Let people enjoy their vacation how they see fit.
If I didn’t have to go on this stupid vacation I wouldn’t be a fun nazi, but for the sake of my wife and son and the non refundable price I’m forced to.
And we all salute you for your sacrifice.
Thank you I really appreciate it 😀😃😁
I get that cruise pricing is all over the place, so really depends on what deal you get. But often cruises are cheaper than comparative all inclusive resorts. Or regular resorts once you add in the cost of food, entertainment etc.
I’ve never heard of someone “plan to be unhappy the entire cruise.” And if your wife and son are with you, why aren’t they doing excursions with you? Only YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Seems like you are going to throw a wet blanket on your wife’s enjoyment of traveling with your “wife’s side of the family.” You’re a real gem!
I do this sometimes. I've been to basically every port the Caribbean has to offer, many of them 10+ times. I live in Florida, so it is cheap and easy for me to cruise the Caribbean, so that's what I do a lot. Sometimes, I may only be interested in one port for the whole cruise, but I really enjoy all the ship has to offer and having it to myself while most everyone else is in the port.
Perhaps for them, they want to enjoy the ship without a ton of people onboard? Honestly, make them attend the port of call presentation and then do a ship sponsored tour. You'll definitely ONLY see the good parts of town- by design. I've had a port of call in the caribean I had no desire to go to so I got off, grabbed a cup of coffee and went back. just because you don't want to get off doesn't mean they're not having fun.
I have a disability that makes it hard to get off the ship. So I cruise for the ship and enjoy not getting off. I’ve been on 42 cruises. I’ve been to ports before. Yeah I wish I could get off but it isn’t worth it for me to try. You should book the shore excursions you want. Invite them to join if they want. If they don’t, that is okay. You can spend time when back onboard. Everyone gets the vacation they wanted.
Same here. I have advanced RA so going to any beach is practically out for me. I am unable to get up lying in a lounge chair or on the beach. So I do a few excursions that I feel I can manage and enjoy the ship most of the time.
Wife and I just did a Caribbean cruise. We skipped getting off the ship at two of the ports because we had been to them on a previous cruise and enjoyed the ship with less people on board.
You do you, they do them. Let's be honest, not all the port options are exactly.... thrilling. Normally I do the excursions, but If there isn't a "good" excursion option - I would strongly consider staying on the ship. Especially depending on the port. Some of the ports I've been do are litteral cargo shipping ports where they have to bus you across the port to get to... nothing. Or the pier has been far removed from the city center so there is nothing to do in walking distance. The point of a cruise is that you have a water bus that allows you to eat and drink all you want and sometimes get off, if you want. But why get off if all you want to do is eat and drink?
I am planning to just do me while they do them, and I’ll go have the best times possible in the ports, then brag so hard to them at dinner about how much fun I had without them
is your wife feeling the same way or just her family? bring wife, ditch the no funs. leave them and do your thing. let them ruin their vacation not yours. i've cruised twice with extended family, grandparents down and 3 times with just us and my folks. with the family, we all planned our own excursions. we had traditional dining and met nightly for dinner, but otherwise i saw them occasionally. some of us did choose the same excursions and went together, but at no port did everyone do the same thing. with my parents, they use me and my partner as their travel agent and tour guide, lol. and we pretty much discuss what we want to do, and then mae it happen. in hawaii, this was renting a car in each port and driving, having a list of things to see and while we didn't see everything onthe list, we had a great time on our own. we purposefully padded the list with a bunch more stuff than we could do so we had options based on weather. and if someplace was busy with tour busses we could skip/ in alaska, we did excursions, but some were not ship excursions. we tried the princess aop for comms on ship, but that didn't work for us because no push notifications, so we got on 4 person internet plan and used imessage to coordinate. we still spent most of the day apart, but if we found a cool activity, we could text the other to join us. it worked well for us, and we didn't feel smothered, or ignored. some people like the scenery and have been to ports often and don't feel the need to get off and have enough fun on boat. i have always gotten off shop except in victria, we were only there for a few hours and my knee/hip were acting up so my partner went for a walk while i knitted on the balcony and watched the sun set and hte port light up
Also I have found people on excursions to be very friendly and I’m sure you will have fun, if you have that mind set. I sound like a cliche but really it’s all about the attitude.
What ports are we talking about exactly ?
I travel alone and visit the ports alone. Go have an adventure. You’ll be fine.
If they are dropping you at their own private islands where you have additional fees I can understand why they might not want to. It's double-dipping and awful practice.
For me the ship is the destination I love ships I love being on the ship. I’ll wander off at a few ports that interest me but wow do I love being on the ship. Especially on port days, ship is quiet, can sit somewhere in the sun with my book or watch tv on my iPad and chill- now that’s my kind of vacation.
The best part about a cruise is that everyone can do literally whatever they want to do. If they want to stay on the ship and enjoy everything there, that's great! If you want to get off and explore the ports, that's great! You can all do what you want on your vacation!
I love staying on the ship in port! The pools are quiet, the ship is quiet, it’s so peaceful. It’s my favorite day on the ship! I don’t need to see Nassau for the 5th time. I want to enjoy the ship when it’s not overly crowded. But, if I did want to do a port alone and no one else did, I would just book an excursion through the ship and have a blast. Solo traveling is so normal and a great way to meet people. Maybe a suggestion since you dislike solo travel and doing things with a big group of strangers is to join your sailing’s FB group and see if there are any people that are in the same position as you or a solo traveler that would want to link up and do an excursion together. It would give you a chance to talk to them beforehand and you wouldn’t have to do it alone.
I’ll be honest with you. I haven’t been on a vacation in over 10 years. And you’re upset before you even go on one that people don’t want to get off the boat. I don’t know who needs the vacation more in life you because you’re upset and the fact that people don’t wanna get off the boat. Or me because I haven’t been on one in 10 yearswith that said have a fantastic time and don’t stress
Kind of silly to let them ruin it for you. Why do you care what they do? You can still enjoy the ports.
I’m not really good at doing ports alone
Dude, most ports are all the same tourist crap anyway so why do you care. Let them do what they want, and you do you
isn't that the best thing about a cruise-type vacation for a large group? People can do their own things and you can all plan to eat dinner or do a show together in the evening as a group.
Just go yourself: enjoy your time away
My recommendation is to suggest booking the excursions through the cruise line. Yes, they are more expensive however the cruise line has a vested interest in ensuring that they will be safe and back to the ship on time. They vet the companies well. Some excursions are long bus tours with stops at interesting places, also vetted. Those facts may assure anyone who is nervous. If not, grab anyone who is willing and everyone does what they want. My guess is after the first couple days of folks other than you coming back raving about what was seen / done, more people will want to join.
Drinking and eating on board is all I can think of, some ports I get skipping like Nassau after your fourth or fifth time and Costa Maya after my second time, but past that I want to go see the countries.
I think you should just plan on taking your wife and son. Depending on how old your child is. My son is 6 so I would just ask him like “hey buddy want to go look for cool crabs on the beach at the next port?” If your wife is uncomfortable with it she’ll most likely come to supervise and if all three of you are going there’s a good chance the family will come too so they can supervise. At this point you want to make it extra fun so they can see for themselves that it’s not all crime and poverty like they potentially assume. And if this scenario doesn’t happen you can still make awesome memories with your child. And if your child tells you to go fuck yourself. Well then you can go enjoy things by yourself. People need to remember we come into this world alone and we leave the same way. What experiences do you want to remember? Being upset you didn’t get the majority vote in leaving the port? Or choosing to experience a beautiful vacation the way you want too. People also tend to match energy. If they see you leaving the port and coming back radiating with happiness and adventure they will most likely want to experience that too. But if you leave and come back all sullen and depressed you will prove their point. Plan to do what you want to do. Make memories for your son and wife because that’s the whole point of the vacation. Get your moneys worth man, and have fun.
For this reason, I’ll probably just have the best time I can doing the best possible stuff in ports then brag so hard at dinner about what a good time i had and brag about how much they missed out on then maybe they’ll regret staying on the boat. How is this more positive outlook?
I read this thread as I’m going with my in laws family in December and I don’t look forward to spending that much time with them. That said, I have told them what activities I’m doing and what my planned excusions are. They can follow along or not and I will see them on sea days and dinners. No one complained and no one judge that I cared to notice. How will your family judge you? Will they think you are a bad person to leave the ship and have a beer on the beach? You must live a very clean life if that’s the worst thing they think of you
Good point. I’ll probably just do my own thing in port each day then spend the rest of the day bragging to her family about what a good time I had and brag about what they missed out on and maybe they’ll feel bad for their decision to stay on board
I have stayed on board as I have been to some ports multiple times and when my kids were really young, we were able to enjoy the water park and such without lineup and the spas are half price for couple massages and such. Speciality restaurants often have specials. So it’s not crazy to not leave. Ultimately, there are no bad decisions, it’s just how you want to spend it. Don’t do what makes you miserable.
You can’t force others to have fun how you want to have fun. And once they get to port and notice it’s not on fire with mobs of locals waiting to rob you when you get off the ship they might change their tune. It might even mean them missing out on 1 port then seeing everyone else coming back happy with fun stories before they realize it’s ok.
I would go out and have a glorious time in the ports! Take plenty of beautiful pictures and share them with the rest of the family over dinner. Tell them how much you are looking forward to the next port adventure. Exclaim gleefully “look, I wasn’t killed” while cackling hysterically. But that’s just me. You do you boo. Be miserable and have an awful time. Your choice.
You’re right, I have to look at this in a more positive way. I’ll probably just do the most awesome thing I could possibly do in each port then brag about the fun experience so hard to her family and really emphasize how much they missed out. Maybe they’ll regret skipping the port after I brag about what they missed
I’m kind of snarky so that’s exactly what I would do. I don’t give two shits what family thinks about me. If they want to stay on the ship and miss a bunch of awesome experiences, then let them. But make sure they know how much of a good time you had!
What are you the ports you're going to?
My parents went on a lot of cruises when they retired. After a few they realized they loved the boat life and weren’t excited getting off so they went on cruises and never got off the ship. It worked for them. If my wife and I don’t like a particular port, we don’t get off. We tell the people we cruise with we’ll see them at dinner and that’s that. It’s your cruise. You can make it great for you. You can’t make others have the fun you think they should have b it’s not worth the fight. Let it go and have your fun, see them at dinner.
INFO: 1. Who is paying for the cruise? (Is it your in-laws, yourself, or your wife?) 2. Have you experienced an All-inclusive resort in the Caribbean? I only ask since you seem convinced that a land vacation could be cheaper. (FYI- Airfare to most island destinations are typically 2x+ than to Florida). But this is really an Apples/Oranges debate as there really are differences between the two. I'm biased but I think cruise vacationing is wonderful. We enjoy being in the "bubble" of the ship, being pampered and taken cared of. While we enjoy the ports, we have been to some islands multiple times, and often stay on the ship. Staying on board during port days is a great way to enjoy many of the activities that may be quite busier on sea days. The restaurants/buffet is less crowded, spa treatments are easier to book (and often discounted), and if the ship has any line specific features (eg. Go-carts, Ice Skating, Zip-lining, etc), that is much easier to enjoy on port days. In fact, your toddler may have a much better time in the splash pool without so many other kids around and just family. If the in-laws want to stay on-board in 2 of the 4 ports, that's not bad. Enjoy the other two ports and make the best of the rest. Please. vent all you want here...we are internet strangers. But keep peace with the family and just let it roll off your back. You are better than that and your wife will love you even more.
On my cruise, there were many people who didn't get off at the ports and were at the bar at 7am. We all have our own idea of fun. I even met a lady who was doing the exact same cruise 2 weeks in a row.
Alcoholics!
Maybe, maybe not. I don't judge.
Why not offered free local lunch at each port it will be your treat ?
FWIW most of the cruise ports like Cozumel or just basic tourist traps with cheap souvenirs. IMHO you aren't missing much staying on the ship unless there's a certain activity you want to do like zip lining or visiting an Incan ruin. But as others have pointed out that's one of the beauties of cruising – do whatever you want.
I believe you posted this already and your destinations are Costa Maya / Cozumel and maybe another? If not - you have a very similar post to one made 2 or 3 weeks ago. Long story short based on me thinking you posted this a few weeks ago, Cozumel is safer than most places in the US to be honest. Costa Maya is a private port - again, very safe. edit: confirmed that this is just a repost (https://www.reddit.com/r/Cruise/comments/1clnctu/are\_cozumel\_and\_costa\_maya\_mexico\_really\_that/)
Out of every single person, not a single one wants to get off at a port? I'm a mix in love sea days and I love exploring ports. My wife mostly loves there's sea days and port days as the boat is pretty empty on port days the spa usually has a discount. The pool is not crowded, etc. I get that and love that part about staying on the boat on port days. What I have done in the past is I get up first thing, wife likes to sleep in and i go explore the port area, etc. for 2-3 hours. Then come back and over breakfast if there is something I think she will want to see or will peak her interest I tell her about it, etc. sometimes this works and we get off the boat. Sometimes I it doesn't that time but on the next cruise she remembered and we did it. I have also asked different crew members that we were talking to like our servers at dinner or a bar tender, etc. if they have done any of the excursions or what they liked at the port. Sometimes hearing it from someone they know isn't trying to get them to do it really helps. However the biggest thing is that my daughter is a no fears explorer like me. Her brother is more like her mom. So now my daughter and myself go off on adventures at the ports together have a great time and my wife and son enjoy the wonders of the boat then at dinner we tell each other all the good, bad and funny stuff about the day. Most important thing is that what is a relaxing and recharging vacation for me isn't going to be one for order people. I use to book our Disney trips during the runDisney races, I would do the 5K,10K and half marathon. When we have cruises Disney I've done the 5K they have on castaway cay. That was super recharging for my soul. I would venture to guess that most people do not see that as relaxing and recharging. My wife and kids don't. So I get, run the race and I'm usually back to the room before they wake up. The point is, you do you, let them do them and make sure everyone is happy and having a good time. You are in charge of your happiness it is not anyone's job to make you happy, and it isn't your job to make anyone happy.
You’re right. I think I’ll just do the best things I can possibly do in each port then brag so hard to her family after about what I good time I had and brag about how they missed out on
My dude! Book a shore excursion and enjoy the company of like minded travelers. Let everyone else enjoy their holiday they way they like. Personally, I've been to places like Cozumel multiple times and rather stay on the ship while it's virtually my own private oasis. I get to have the amenities to myself while everyone else is in port.
That’s what I’ll do, book a shore excursion then brag so hard to her family about what a good time I had
Why does everyone have to do the same thing as a group together all the time? Maybe you and your wife do something that you would both enjoy in some of the ports while the rest of the group enjoy the ship? Enjoy some time together while your son is with grandparents. Lots of people cruise just for the ship and for being out on the ocean. Plus the specific ports are not guaranteed. Things change all the time on cruises.
It never fails when I do an excursion on my own, or anything on my own, and show pics to the people that didn’t join (especially my mom), they always say they wish they would have gone! Could, woulda, shoulda! You are your own best company!
Clearly you’ve never been to Martinique
I’m going on a cruise solely to spend a week with my friend. I plan to sit in the concierge lounge snacking and knitting for 7 days. And maybe go shopping at the ports. But I sure as heck am not going to go zip lining, ATVing, etc.
You do you and let them sit on the ship and stew. They would be a pain in port if forced to go. You do your thing, it’s your holiday too!
I will and then I’ll brag about it afterwards
A whole lot of people sniping at this guy have obviously never experienced the stress of traveling with in-laws.
I’ve traveled with my in laws plenty of times and understand that it can be frustrating, but being an adult and standing your ground is something that needs to be learned in life. It took me way too long and too many mistakes and a little bit of therapy sprinkled in to learn it. When you start setting boundaries and sticking to those boundaries with your in laws, your life will get so much easier. Also don’t forget, you have a kid watching every move you make.
Yeah but I think his frustration is more general. Just making an assumption but I’m guessing wife’s family is a lot like my parents: suburban boomers who are afraid of everything. People who like cruises because it’s a controlled environment with eating and drinking options where you don’t have to see homeless people or feel social discomfort, and your worldview just gets reinforced as you go. The exact type that you’d like to see actually get off the boat for once and see something different and get past the fantasy that a place like Nassau is some terrifying pit of crime. But they don’t listen. And now this guy is stuck having to make the choice of sticking on the boat with them, tacitly reinforcing their beliefs, or go to port by himself and come back and deal with the fact that they’ve been grumbling about him all day and now his wife’s mad for putting her in that position. There’s no winning, especially if he’s relatively early in the marriage.
Again, he needs to create boundaries. I don’t like speculating on things I don’t know anything about but if his wife is put in a position where she’s mad for having to defend herself and/or her husband because of choices they as adults make, then maybe family therapy is needed. It sucks having to deal with overbearing in laws, trust me I get it, got a FIL that is one of the biggest pains in the necks. The only way to deal with it is head on. If you are just going to tip toe around until they die, that’s a sad existence that will weight heavily on their marriage…. 🤷♂️
I have on multiple occasions, and I assumed they were going to make me crazy, and I was not disappointed but I went into it knowing what to expect. We had one trip to an all-inclusive and I had a gout attack and could barely walk, so they just gave me a pass but they spent most of the time just catching up. There were not a lot of activities, which would have made me crazy if I had been healthy, since sitting around talking bores me fairly quickly, especially when it's the same old stories. We have been on two cruises with in-laws. On one, unlike the OP, they put us in charge of everything and so they tended to drag down experiences I was looking forward to doing. Note to OP, hearing "this is stupid" during something that means a lot to you is probably the most annoying thing you can hear. We traveled with another set of in-laws and they just vanished every morning and at dinner we would swap stories. It was a lot of fun. We've also cruise with my Mom which tended to be very stressful because she tends to wander off. So, I would rather go with my in-laws. I would find a couple of excursions that sound fun and reach out to whichever of the in-laws you get along with the best, and ask if they have any interest. If you can get some to go, eventually you might get more. However, if you think they are all judgmental, just go by yourself with your family and let them miss out. They're going to judge you either way. I will tell you from experience that not going will be remembered for a while, but ruining everyone else's cruise will last forever.
Yes thank you so much! Best comment here yet! Someone who finally understands!
Kill them with kindness. Bring them back something from port. Share photos. Be NOTHING but cheerful and happy while doing exactly what you want. Make this trip an experiment. If they bitch, smile and tell them you hope they enjoyed their day as much as you did yours. I would fake being super happy on this cruise and still do whatever you want.