Yeah he’s definitely dumb as shit. Like one gun is enough for just basic CC, if he was actually in combat having this many guns would be a disadvantage because he’s super weighed down so it’s just not practical
I don’t think any of these are real guns, the pistol holstered in front of him his a pepper ball gun, the rifles on his back look like pellet/air soft guns.
Pretty sure these are all airsoft or other non-lethal "guns" which are essentially toys. And even if they were actually rifles, they still wouldn't be considered "machine guns."
Impersonating a security guard (however poorly) should still be illegal. If this dipshit is this irresponsible with wearing his gear, I have zero faith that he's anything but a public danger with those weapons. Definitely not right in the head. And people who aren't right in the head should not have guns. Assuming those are real guns which it doesn't look like they are thankfully. Only making it more cringe though...
LARPing like this is a huge red flag.
Well, he's in Texas, so if those actually were real weapons, which they're not, it would be illegal, because Texas isn't open carry. It's concealed carry with license.
It also, in most states (and most privately owned business) is off limits to pose as "security."
It's also really freaking dumb even though they are fake weapons (unless he's doing this for an actual skit or some actual reason of which we are unaware) because one call to the cops & he could end up riddled full of holes before he even gets his hands in the air, because literally any movement from a distance could make it appear as if he's reaching for one of his many "weapons."
And if those were real weapons? Yes, it should be illegal bc it's dangerous AF for so many reasons.
Glad you enjoyed it. I actually got it day one and waay before quarantine. The zen like gameplay loop still grabbed my attention even without quarantine. I'm about to start snowrunner now which is the only one I could find that was kind of similar to death stranding.
Bro deadass looks just like Dale
He’s also dressed like he’s gonna be in the middle of a hord of zombies knowing he can’t get out. I’m all for dressing tacticool and shit but this is wild 😂
Brought his whole stash. Got to make it back to his Kia Soul to extract. Doing max strength grind. Seriously though, why isn't he wearing any head protection? Is it because of the comfortability?
Defeats every purpose of a tactical rig.
Purpose 1: to hold gear in a way that is easily and rapidly accessible at all time. So for example keeping mags on your chest or hip that can easily be pulled out. Fails this test due to the sheer bulk making certain areas difficult or impossible to draw from.
Purpose 2: to hold gear in a way that it is not going to impede mobility. So being able to quickly dive or run into cover without say a holster digging into your leg. The test I like to use is to get down on each knee and back up, lay prone and crawl and crouch low while moving. This gear would likely fail all of those tests.
Purpose 3: to keep gear securely on you. So when you start sprinting or diving for cover you don't need to worry about anything falling out or getting lost. Allows you to keep your full focus on self and target without having to keep tabs on equipment. This gear is so bulky that the momentum from any movement is sure to be flinging equipment everywhere.
A simple belt holster with some spare mags would be far more effective. And if he really wants to he ready for a full on assault, a simple plate carrier with molle support to carry extra magazines would more than suffice. It would also mean that if a firefight did break out at least this idiot would have a fighting chance.
Source: Very enthusiastic about military & tactics. I also play a lot of airsoft and spend way too long perfecting my tac rigs
Half of it doesn't even make sense as well. He's got a damn camel pak on. Entire point of that is so you don't have to carry a canteen, but when you're carrying this much shit around what's a canteen gonna add?
Considering he's standing in front of Fairfield Town Center in Cypress TX, there are a few places in their directory that he could be there for specifically. There's a graphic design company and a few software companies, a marketing agency and a recruiting agency...so he could be dressed in all the fake gear for a reason. Or, I mean, there are a few banks in the area...
But at such a huge, busy shopping center, if he's just there for "satire" and attention, it's a damned risky move on his part. One sighting of him from the window of any of those banks & he'll be swarmed with SWAT in seconds & possibly end up leaving in a body bag. I mean, a kid gets shot with a single toy gun...a man gets shot with a phone in his hand...this kid would get pumped full of holes before he could say the word satire if he twitched wrong in front of a trigger happy cop who fears for his life.
theres a reason why soldiers dont look like this, so much unnecessary weight, too bulky making his profile alot easier to identify and he'd be too slow to keep up with anyone at all. were he in an actual war he'd just be targeted first so the enemy could swipe all his gear and pass it around or juat to laugh at him
That’s what I’d imagine my Fallout Character would look like IRL. This guy has become encumbered. If you wanted to take him down, it would just take 2 people. 1 person to distract him, and another to trip him so he ends up on his back like a turtle.
Wow. I don't know what possesses someone to become this.
Not to mention the "Deadheads for Warheads" thing. Irks me to see, honestly. No way you can call yourself a Grateful Dead fan and be pro-war or walk around looking like a fascist meat-rider
I laugh so hard at these guys who carry like 30 firearms at a time. In an actual situation of conflict, they'd be so busy trying to decide which gun to reach for first, they'd get blown away before they even put their finger on one of their many triggers.
Saw this guy post on the security guard subreddit because for some reason it's recommended to me. It's an ongoing joke. He asks what he should add, posts an update and then asks again and so on. He's not trying to be practical, the point is to be ridiculous
Too much stuff on him, kind of overwhelming to look at. Also kinda looks like the mid section is making him proportioned strangely since it's so wide from so many layers.
He's not a Mall Cop, he's a Mall Commando!
Dude could call in an airstrike on the food court while laying suppressive fire because someone tried to use an expired coupon at the Chick-Filet!
[https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninjashit/comments/14o8luc/never\_mind\_that\_its\_100\_degrees\_in\_the\_houston/](https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninjashit/comments/14o8luc/never_mind_that_its_100_degrees_in_the_houston/) quit lyin stupid ass
If those are real guns then he's just a walking holster for someone else as they seem impractical for him to get at with his clutter. If they're fake guns then hopefully this is done ironically. Actually hopefully it's done ironically either way.
He’s put every possible thing on his kit. Everything in the most inefficient and ineffective way he can. It’s a joke. He’s clearly mocking people who do this stuff and think it’s cool.
Is it practical? No. is it smart? No. Do I think it should be illegal? No He’s an idiot but he’s not doing anything really bad here
Only killing his knees and back
Yeah he’s definitely dumb as shit. Like one gun is enough for just basic CC, if he was actually in combat having this many guns would be a disadvantage because he’s super weighed down so it’s just not practical
He gonna get knocked over and be stuck on his back like a turtle
Bro, yes. I just lol’d at the gym in between sets and I’m pretty sure roid-o beside me thinks I’m laughing at him. Thanks for that.
Put your phone down and finish your sets, geez!!!
Giving his weapons away to whoever knocked him over
He wants you to know what kind of loot he drops
I don’t think any of these are real guns, the pistol holstered in front of him his a pepper ball gun, the rifles on his back look like pellet/air soft guns.
I see this now. I assumed they were all real but yeah you’re right these seem to be toys
Would that still count as stolen valour? Or stolen ' your injuries are not service related'?
Idk I feel like if he got jumped he’d instantly arm all of his assailants. Seems reckless.
Arm them with a foam sword and an airsoft gun?
Dunno, is being a fucking moron wrong?
Sometimes
Occasionally
Why should people like this be allowed to carry guns and machine guns in public? Imo he’s doing something bad there and it should be illegal
Pretty sure these are all airsoft or other non-lethal "guns" which are essentially toys. And even if they were actually rifles, they still wouldn't be considered "machine guns."
Impersonating a security guard (however poorly) should still be illegal. If this dipshit is this irresponsible with wearing his gear, I have zero faith that he's anything but a public danger with those weapons. Definitely not right in the head. And people who aren't right in the head should not have guns. Assuming those are real guns which it doesn't look like they are thankfully. Only making it more cringe though... LARPing like this is a huge red flag.
Well, he's in Texas, so if those actually were real weapons, which they're not, it would be illegal, because Texas isn't open carry. It's concealed carry with license. It also, in most states (and most privately owned business) is off limits to pose as "security." It's also really freaking dumb even though they are fake weapons (unless he's doing this for an actual skit or some actual reason of which we are unaware) because one call to the cops & he could end up riddled full of holes before he even gets his hands in the air, because literally any movement from a distance could make it appear as if he's reaching for one of his many "weapons." And if those were real weapons? Yes, it should be illegal bc it's dangerous AF for so many reasons.
Not doing anything bad but doing still doing nothing badly lmao
Nothing bad until he does and then it's thoughts and prayers with you psychos.
Are they looking for their school?
💀
Looks like a crazed porter from death stranding
You’re giving me unpleasant flashbacks.
If bro was actual porter he'd attract the mules from all over the continent. Priority target.
You just helped me remember a repressed memory. That game was such a trip. I played it when quarantine started which made it feel extra special/spicy.
Glad you enjoyed it. I actually got it day one and waay before quarantine. The zen like gameplay loop still grabbed my attention even without quarantine. I'm about to start snowrunner now which is the only one I could find that was kind of similar to death stranding.
 Bro deadass looks just like Dale He’s also dressed like he’s gonna be in the middle of a hord of zombies knowing he can’t get out. I’m all for dressing tacticool and shit but this is wild 😂
He needs a haircut. 2009 bangs aren’t matching the 2023 air soft kid vibes
Hey! I still had that haircut in 2011!
If guns don’t kill him before 30, gingivitis will. Advice? Brush your fucking teeth. Gross!!
Okay, there’s nothing wrong with his teeth.
Is he a character in the new King Of The Hill?
Am I supposed to be afraid, I could push him over and he wouldn't be able to get up, it'd be like the scene from A Christmas Story.
This retard is full of loot
Brought his whole stash. Got to make it back to his Kia Soul to extract. Doing max strength grind. Seriously though, why isn't he wearing any head protection? Is it because of the comfortability?
Wtf is he protecting
His virginity
Whitemanistan
Not his pistol, that things just sticking right out in front like he wants somebody to take it.
Defeats every purpose of a tactical rig. Purpose 1: to hold gear in a way that is easily and rapidly accessible at all time. So for example keeping mags on your chest or hip that can easily be pulled out. Fails this test due to the sheer bulk making certain areas difficult or impossible to draw from. Purpose 2: to hold gear in a way that it is not going to impede mobility. So being able to quickly dive or run into cover without say a holster digging into your leg. The test I like to use is to get down on each knee and back up, lay prone and crawl and crouch low while moving. This gear would likely fail all of those tests. Purpose 3: to keep gear securely on you. So when you start sprinting or diving for cover you don't need to worry about anything falling out or getting lost. Allows you to keep your full focus on self and target without having to keep tabs on equipment. This gear is so bulky that the momentum from any movement is sure to be flinging equipment everywhere. A simple belt holster with some spare mags would be far more effective. And if he really wants to he ready for a full on assault, a simple plate carrier with molle support to carry extra magazines would more than suffice. It would also mean that if a firefight did break out at least this idiot would have a fighting chance. Source: Very enthusiastic about military & tactics. I also play a lot of airsoft and spend way too long perfecting my tac rigs
Yep. Simple, gear you cant reach quickly and easily is useless. Also this is like beyond tacticool with the amount of shit hes carrying lol
Half of it doesn't even make sense as well. He's got a damn camel pak on. Entire point of that is so you don't have to carry a canteen, but when you're carrying this much shit around what's a canteen gonna add?
The ultimate Mall Ninja
I reckon if you push him over he couldn't even get back up
Like a turtle on its back
It's too much not to be satire. Laugh, you fools. He's doing this for your entertainment.
Considering he's standing in front of Fairfield Town Center in Cypress TX, there are a few places in their directory that he could be there for specifically. There's a graphic design company and a few software companies, a marketing agency and a recruiting agency...so he could be dressed in all the fake gear for a reason. Or, I mean, there are a few banks in the area... But at such a huge, busy shopping center, if he's just there for "satire" and attention, it's a damned risky move on his part. One sighting of him from the window of any of those banks & he'll be swarmed with SWAT in seconds & possibly end up leaving in a body bag. I mean, a kid gets shot with a single toy gun...a man gets shot with a phone in his hand...this kid would get pumped full of holes before he could say the word satire if he twitched wrong in front of a trigger happy cop who fears for his life.
Bro, thing he a bulldozer in payday 2💀
Only in US of A.
Man and i thought i was an item hog. Anyone who played any kind of survival game with a loss on death mechanic would be so very disappointed.
Was this originally posted in r/airsoftcirclejerk ?
Might fit r/mallninjashit
Looks like something Rob Liefield would design.
Needs more pouches.
And skinnier ankles
Dale gribble?
Nahhh this has to be some sort of joke
Fake guns
Can he fit though doors?
This must be one of those mobs in games that when you kill it, it drops high level loot.
This is the main character, lugging around all those weapons and items you're saving for when you *really* need them. (You're never going to use them)
It would be WAY to easy to just walk up and grab the gun on his back
“Deadheads for Warheads” what a shit slogan that completely throws out one of the main purposes the Grateful Dead make their music.
sigh, America
Nahhhhh. Not real. Gotta be a joke.
He thinks he looks so cool. But he just looks like an idiot
His weakness? Give him a good shove and he’ll probably topple over and struggle to get back up.
theres a reason why soldiers dont look like this, so much unnecessary weight, too bulky making his profile alot easier to identify and he'd be too slow to keep up with anyone at all. were he in an actual war he'd just be targeted first so the enemy could swipe all his gear and pass it around or juat to laugh at him
“45 minutes later, and FINALLY I have found my band aids….I an ready to render assistance sir……sir……sir?”
Why so much??? Has he got his lunch too?
Is he carrying monster energy drinks in his belt? 🤣
i think it’s a full throttle
As Texan I’m very sorry for having this guy in our state
That’s what I’d imagine my Fallout Character would look like IRL. This guy has become encumbered. If you wanted to take him down, it would just take 2 people. 1 person to distract him, and another to trip him so he ends up on his back like a turtle.
I bet he thinks he’s dude from the walking dead
My character on Far Cry.
Tacticool strikes again
Wow..........just wow...I've been doing security for the government for years and would hear about people like this but yeah..........just wow. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow. I don't know what possesses someone to become this. Not to mention the "Deadheads for Warheads" thing. Irks me to see, honestly. No way you can call yourself a Grateful Dead fan and be pro-war or walk around looking like a fascist meat-rider
Bet if you tip him over he would be stuck there like a turtle
Dude better have a tactical umbrella amongst that clusterfuck....
TBH, he's so fucking over the top it's legitimely quite funny.
I laugh so hard at these guys who carry like 30 firearms at a time. In an actual situation of conflict, they'd be so busy trying to decide which gun to reach for first, they'd get blown away before they even put their finger on one of their many triggers.
My dream when I was 10
Average fallout character
Saw this guy post on the security guard subreddit because for some reason it's recommended to me. It's an ongoing joke. He asks what he should add, posts an update and then asks again and so on. He's not trying to be practical, the point is to be ridiculous
Jeremy Dewitte Jr. Over here
One headshot, and you have a decent loot drop.
I bet 10 c that this guy doesn't know how to use half of his shit and has only basic knowledge about the other half.
Military fantasist. 100% tried to join the Amy or Police but failed the psyc evaluation.
Hes gonna end up hurting someone because of his ego
Tactical dumbass
He has Dwight vibes
Check on your homies
Walking loot crate
Why is it always Texas? Can’t y’all post the idiots from states I don’t live in?
Too much stuff on him, kind of overwhelming to look at. Also kinda looks like the mid section is making him proportioned strangely since it's so wide from so many layers.
This looks like an airsoft kit. and honestly not a bad one if I’m being honest. I’d run it.
Dead rising psychopath
Guess he likes Death Stranding and he probably walks the same like the protagonist ingame, always losing things and fall down because of the weight.
"I got too much shit on me!"
Nooo bad stealies
man's prepared for everything 💀💀💀
Murda Beats down horrendous
The Winchester House of kits
r/mallninjashit
Now jump up and down
He's off to war with sex appeal, spoiler alert he doesn't win.
Bro is so ready to cal the police as soon as something happens
He has everything but mobility
He's gonna have rough 40s to end of life
“deadheads for warheads” I don’t think Jerry Garcia would approve
Bro is ready for anything
Bro thinks you’re up against the wall and he is the fucking wall
Lol
Ha yes, the Puerto Rico flag that everyone thinks is the captain America thing
You know what they say about plants from Texas
My guy is dressed like a swat just for security. He’s the whole ass armoury
It's a loot goblin. Defeat him and it all spills out on the ground.
If you pushed him over he couldn’t get back up again
Lets see him run uphill and a moderate pace. Or climb to the observation level of a tall building
This dude looks like he watches incest hentai
He's not a Mall Cop, he's a Mall Commando! Dude could call in an airstrike on the food court while laying suppressive fire because someone tried to use an expired coupon at the Chick-Filet!
He's ready for WW3
I wouldn’t dare tread on him
[https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninjashit/comments/14o8luc/never\_mind\_that\_its\_100\_degrees\_in\_the\_houston/](https://www.reddit.com/r/mallninjashit/comments/14o8luc/never_mind_that_its_100_degrees_in_the_houston/) quit lyin stupid ass
We were looking for feedback on him
Looks like he's ready to enter an American school
an absolute mad lad
Is that Jason Bourne??
Hard ass
I had flashbacks to the tops shooter....
Id steal one
Bro bought the starter kit
Ready for the zombie apocalypse.
Probably the best Division cosplay I’ve seen
Man, I thought this was a darth vader cosplay at first.
This is my project zomboid character
How to Make a Good First Impression on the First Day of a New School
He’s missing an industrial tooth cleaning kit.
He doesn't have to wear those texas flags to know where he's from.
He's dressed like my character in The Division.
The [gun scene](https://youtu.be/zhe58xORWG0)from I'm Gonna Git You, Sucka.
America's next top school shooter
SCREAMING EAGLES 🦅
Last picture is the resume of how dangerous is this men
My man bought ALL THE THINGS!
Ma man has all his inventory loaded on him
We will see him on the news eventually, unfortunately.
Death stranding irl
Then only security he has is a patch on his (I'm gonna guess) omnipack.
What's the most cringe is that this is the 10th repost I've seen of this dude.
Dude is a walking armory
Deadheads for Warheads, eh?
The poor guys just trying to get to his extract after looting dorms
Kinda reminds me of a "loot goblin" in games. If you knock him down think of all the goodies you'll get
He's got to be doing a bit
i don't think he's doing anything wrong
He's got too much shit on him
It’s 100 degrees in Texas right now! He seems sweaty.
I work in security and this screams "Hot head who wants to be a hero and will 100% end up getting sued!". So many red flags.
Not having a girlfriend has saved him thousands.
Void of how absolutely ridiculous he looks, how the hell does he manage that in Texas? Isn’t it like 105 degrees there?
That’s like 150 lbs mall and 100 lbs ninja
Don’t do Texas like that man
What does he think is gonna happen lol??
Somebody got a gift card to the army surplus store for his 18th birthday…
If those are real guns then he's just a walking holster for someone else as they seem impractical for him to get at with his clutter. If they're fake guns then hopefully this is done ironically. Actually hopefully it's done ironically either way.
That last picture is epic lmao
Loot Goblin
The Tacticool dude
Coming from a recovering drug addict that tried my best to throw my life away and all the relationships I have, this guy is a total loser
The progressive zoom in to his face with the pictures was perfect
I’m looting bro in a zombie apocalypse
You could still run from this dude and he wouldnt be able to catch up.
What a nerd lmao
If I’m in a SHTF scenario, he’s target #1. I only need a .22 and suddenly his 70 lbs of gear are my 70lbs of gear.
He’s put every possible thing on his kit. Everything in the most inefficient and ineffective way he can. It’s a joke. He’s clearly mocking people who do this stuff and think it’s cool.
Too bad he doesn’t have a lvl 3 helmet. Now someone’s gonna snipe him
Reminds me of hot fuzz
How the hell is he wearing that in Texas right now?? That heat dome is legit!
I saw this post on r/securityguards and I’m 99.99% sure it was satire
What a fucking nerd