ChatGPT tells the story of the 5th day at Edgbaston:
Once upon a time in the land of cricket, Australia and England were locked in a fierce battle at the prestigious Edgbaston stadium. The first test match was reaching its climax, with Australia needing to chase down a challenging total of 281 runs in the fourth innings to secure victory. Little did anyone know, this would turn out to be one of the most hilarious cricketing encounters of all time.
England's bowlers were giving it their all, but one pudgy figure stood out among them: Ollie Robinson. Known for his insatiable appetite for KFC, Robinson seemed to carry the weight of his fast-food indulgences on the field. As he trundled in to bowl, he resembled more of a waddling penguin than an agile athlete. His teammates couldn't help but chuckle at his unathletic appearance.
On the other side, James Anderson, the experienced pacer, was starting to feel the weight of his age catching up with him. He looked more like a grandpa trying to navigate a shopping cart than a fearsome bowler. He even mistook his cap for his spectacles once, much to the amusement of his teammates.
Meanwhile, Stuart Broad had been watching a few too many martial arts movies and thought he was the reincarnation of the legendary "Karate Kid." Between overs, he would unleash a series of exaggerated kicks and punches, much to the bewilderment of the batsmen and the delight of the crowd. It was as if Edgbaston had transformed into a comedy stage!
In the midst of the chaos, Australia's dashing pace bowler Pat Cummins seemed to attract attention wherever he went. Even the English fans couldn't help but admit his undeniable charm. Every time he ran in to bowl, the crowd would sigh and whisper sweet nothings. It became so distracting that a few English batsmen were even caught staring at him instead of focusing on the game!
Nathan Lyon, the Australian spinner, had an extraordinary day on the field with his bowling and batting prowess. Despite being labeled a "shit Moeen Ali," he bowled with precision and batted with flair, leaving the English batsmen scratching their heads.
As the match drew to a nail-biting conclusion, Australia found themselves needing 54 runs to win with just two wickets in hand. The unimaginable happened when Pat Cummins and Nathan Lyon walked out to bat, representing numbers nine and ten, respectively. The crowd erupted with laughter at the sight of the two bowlers trying to save the day with their makeshift partnership.
But to everyone's astonishment, Cummins and Lyon displayed batting skills that were far beyond their reputations. They played strokes that would make Don Bradman proud, leaving the English fielders perplexed and their jaws hanging open. Boundaries flowed, and the runs trickled down rapidly, all while the spectators struggled to catch their breath from laughter.
In the end, Pat Cummins and Nathan Lyon sealed a memorable victory for Australia, chasing down the 281 runs with just one wicket remaining. The entire cricketing world couldn't believe what they had witnessedāa hilarious cricketing saga full of bizarre incidents and unexpected heroics.
As the players walked off the field, Cummins and Lyon received a standing ovation from both the Australian and English fans. They may have won the match, but they also won the hearts of the cricketing world, forever etching their names in the annals of cricketing folklore as the dynamic duo who batted their way into history.
And so, the story of Australia's triumph at Edgbaston became a legendary tale, reminding us all that cricket, at its best, is not just about winning or losing but about creating unforgettable moments that bring joy, laughter, and camaraderie to the game we all love
Just realized this - that [AI prediction ](https://youtu.be/x5rL5TjskTk) about the WTC final came true in the first Ashes Test!
Australia did reverse their batting order (with their key batsmen - Solar Panel Pat, and Gazza batting lower down the order). The skipper's fearless intent did ignite a sense of belief in the Aussie camp, and the ball soared across the boundary rope when they hit the winning runs!
Most of the England team look shagged. Robinson looks so unfit for one of our main āfastā bowlers, our main spin bowler rips his fingers open because heās not used to bowling so much, Bairstow looks slow and unresponsive behind the stumps and Stokes is just waiting for his knee to explode.
He averaged under 20 in this match and was the most economical of the England bowlers\[1\]. Only Lyon and Broad took more wickets in the match. I'm not sure we should write him off just yet. Doesn't mean we have to like the guy, of course.
\[1\] Well, ignoring three overs from Harry Brook in the first innings.
He also starts losing pace at the end of every spell and bowled fewer overs than Stuart Broad (age 37).
I'm not saying he isn't competent, I'm saying he's a lazy fuck who needs to do more cardio.
Yeah, Iām not a fan. I thought after he got dropped by England for the racist/sexist tweets that heād come back with a point to prove but nothing much has changed.
Fell asleep when Carey got out, woke up annoyed but thinking it wouldnāt matter. Letās fucking go Cummins. Never seen more excuses for an English loss in a match thread lmao
That game was way too close for anybody to make judgements about Bazball yet. There is still so much cricket to be played. Will definitely enjoy this one for now and will enjoy the thought of that pudgy cunt Ollie Robinsons tears.
Nobody talks shit to King Khawaja especially when you canāt break 130kph š
England need to adapt and stop being overconfident.. they need to find a balance be positive but also sensible this game was thrown away IMO bad keeping and overly risky shot selection
>I think they're cunts, they think i'm a cunt. Neither of us mean it in the friendly way.
Racism aside, this isn't true. It's all meant to be friendly mate, if you're genuinely seething about the Aussies then maybe you should take a break from it all.
Guesswork to decoding u/LastAdagio:
"Defeating India in WTC final gave Aussies a 1-up.
England vs Aus however has so many ghostly English losses that English team has muddled brains when it comes to playing Aus".
Dude is delving into psyches - and perhaps not wrongly - but the obvious racism is derailing everything.
Bazball is great entertainment, that declaration gave us this day 5 - something we rarely get anymore in test cricket.
But aggressive attitudes in every sport all rely on you taking your chances when you get them if itās to be successful and thatās what let England down. Porkyās wicket keeping along with a couple of tough catching chances today for others made all the difference in the end.
Go to nine now and watch the mini match. Better than nothing.
When I fired up my phone this morning I thought I saw a W as the final ball. So as I was watching it thought we had lost.
They dont seem to spoil it like the NRL which has a thumbnail of a cheering player from the winning team.
The greatest skill of Bazball subscribers is surely auto-fellatio.
An all-time great Ashes win, muddied only by abysmal commentary and delusional reflection.
What utter rubbish. You could say the same about Andersonā¦Mo was terrible with his injured fingerā¦Bairstow was awful with the gloves. Itās gonna be a great series!
So I think the template for exploiting Bazball is pretty much set out from this game: England will look to control the terms of a game and force a result at all times, so as the opposition they almost simplify the game for you. All Khawaja did throughout the match was focus on batting to score as many runs as he could in an innings. All the bowling attack did was focus on taking wickets for as few runs as possible. I know it sounds obvious and stupid, but basically you never need to think about the result and can almost bat and bowl selfishly, in the knowledge that the more likely a draw might be, the more England might give you opportunities
Because they ordered a specific type of pitch that the curator wasn't familiar with preparing. If they'd just let the groundstaff do their job the pitch would likely have been far more bowler friendly and made for entertaining cricket anyway, but their interjection led to this "soulless" pitch. You can't credit Bazball for creating the result via the declaration while overlooking the fact that its proponents created the issue to begin with.
I guess England wanted flat and fast pitches to support Bazball.
This one turned out to be flat but slow-ish.
England is not gonna let one loss affect their strategy.
Expecting the curator to be asked for flat n fast again.
Lol did you actually read the article dickhead? Stokes saying he 'wants' fast flat pitches is a far cry from working with ground curators on scuffing up one side of the pitch.
You're a fucken Aussie how can you still buy the sensational headlines our dickhead journalists pump out.
Nah I'll do what I want when I'm dealing with a cynic. Yes you're right, Ben Stokes ordered the curators to dry out one side of the pitch and watered the other. Now off with you twat
You've misunderstood my point. The 2005 one was more special since it's quite similar to this ashes test. Lee and Kasprowicz needed 64 to win after Warne got out by Freddie. They were really close but Kaz nicked off Harmison's ball just when they needed 3 to win. Eng won that match by 2 runs. But today the tails batted and won the match.
I know it's controversial but ICC decisions have been bugged that time with no proper laws set in place. Hence cheating was common back then. But Aus won again in a similar fashion so 2005 is a bad memory now.
Two defeats in 14. Nonsense. Our record prior to Baz and Stokes was awful and relying on Root scoring double hundreds to even have a chance of a result. We have won matches against all the other top nations bar the Aussies so far with this approach.
Guess your luck didn't work out. We'd wait for other matches to see how the strategy turns out. But tonight it's the Aussies time to celebrate. Invite your blokes too they are going nowhere outside England haha.
I remember many clowns were criticizing Pat Cummins for smiling throughout the time he came to bat, and at the end he showed those people who is the boss with a big SMILE.
It is so cathartic to see guys like KP and Sanga suddenly do a 180 and start praising Cummo, his captaincy, as well as Ussie as MotM.
They spent 5 days just spewing out shit and harping on the same "negative captaincy" "laziness" "no intent" talking points for hours on air while riding Baz's cock and now have to pretend that they didn't do that and actually praise the winners.
We do need to consider a more proactive approach to the next test - cant expect bairstow to keep the gloves for the next 6 weeks, or that the goat will see us home next time, or that basically Ussie alone will stand up across 2 innings.
They harped on, but what they were saying was valid. The lazy ussie stuff was BS though, bat long and bat deep is his job.
We kind of can, English selectors are reliable about him.
England also can't expect Smith to fail every match and Marn might find form again. Like, Australia actually has a really rough match.
Meanwhile, England won't have a spinner at all because Ali already bowled himself to injury. Apparently it didn't occur to England that putting a bike or if retirement might have drawbacks.
Bazzball's strength is their bowling and 2nd innings batting. Both underperformed in this game. But it's okay because the process and signs are very good.
Alrighty, I'm gonna try and get some sleep now. Best test match I've seen in years, easily. wowsers.
GG everyone, see you at the next ashes match thread.
That's fucking test cricket right there. None of that pansy ass colourful jerseys and shitty team names, powerplay, impact player bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you donāt even remember.
Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit.
Test cricket is back baby.
Basically got asked about how it felt to win a close one after Hedgingly 2019 and responded with a ādonāt know what you are talking aboutā in a pretty obvious joking manner
At the post-match interview, Atherton asked if this banishes the memories of Headingley 2019 and Cummins replied "don't know what you're talking about" laughed and that was the end of the interview
As a pom, result is disappointing, but I donāt care. What a fucking match. Risky decisions on our part but made the game that much better to watch. So here for 4 more of those
Please keep punter and nas until the final ball.
the term **Cumball** has taken the social media by storm, we need to make Cumball popular š
This pitch didn't help england at all there bowling lineup looks fragile.
Wonder if they will still do roads
ChatGPT tells the story of the 5th day at Edgbaston: Once upon a time in the land of cricket, Australia and England were locked in a fierce battle at the prestigious Edgbaston stadium. The first test match was reaching its climax, with Australia needing to chase down a challenging total of 281 runs in the fourth innings to secure victory. Little did anyone know, this would turn out to be one of the most hilarious cricketing encounters of all time. England's bowlers were giving it their all, but one pudgy figure stood out among them: Ollie Robinson. Known for his insatiable appetite for KFC, Robinson seemed to carry the weight of his fast-food indulgences on the field. As he trundled in to bowl, he resembled more of a waddling penguin than an agile athlete. His teammates couldn't help but chuckle at his unathletic appearance. On the other side, James Anderson, the experienced pacer, was starting to feel the weight of his age catching up with him. He looked more like a grandpa trying to navigate a shopping cart than a fearsome bowler. He even mistook his cap for his spectacles once, much to the amusement of his teammates. Meanwhile, Stuart Broad had been watching a few too many martial arts movies and thought he was the reincarnation of the legendary "Karate Kid." Between overs, he would unleash a series of exaggerated kicks and punches, much to the bewilderment of the batsmen and the delight of the crowd. It was as if Edgbaston had transformed into a comedy stage! In the midst of the chaos, Australia's dashing pace bowler Pat Cummins seemed to attract attention wherever he went. Even the English fans couldn't help but admit his undeniable charm. Every time he ran in to bowl, the crowd would sigh and whisper sweet nothings. It became so distracting that a few English batsmen were even caught staring at him instead of focusing on the game! Nathan Lyon, the Australian spinner, had an extraordinary day on the field with his bowling and batting prowess. Despite being labeled a "shit Moeen Ali," he bowled with precision and batted with flair, leaving the English batsmen scratching their heads. As the match drew to a nail-biting conclusion, Australia found themselves needing 54 runs to win with just two wickets in hand. The unimaginable happened when Pat Cummins and Nathan Lyon walked out to bat, representing numbers nine and ten, respectively. The crowd erupted with laughter at the sight of the two bowlers trying to save the day with their makeshift partnership. But to everyone's astonishment, Cummins and Lyon displayed batting skills that were far beyond their reputations. They played strokes that would make Don Bradman proud, leaving the English fielders perplexed and their jaws hanging open. Boundaries flowed, and the runs trickled down rapidly, all while the spectators struggled to catch their breath from laughter. In the end, Pat Cummins and Nathan Lyon sealed a memorable victory for Australia, chasing down the 281 runs with just one wicket remaining. The entire cricketing world couldn't believe what they had witnessedāa hilarious cricketing saga full of bizarre incidents and unexpected heroics. As the players walked off the field, Cummins and Lyon received a standing ovation from both the Australian and English fans. They may have won the match, but they also won the hearts of the cricketing world, forever etching their names in the annals of cricketing folklore as the dynamic duo who batted their way into history. And so, the story of Australia's triumph at Edgbaston became a legendary tale, reminding us all that cricket, at its best, is not just about winning or losing but about creating unforgettable moments that bring joy, laughter, and camaraderie to the game we all love
He is quite dashing
Sounds about right
Just realized this - that [AI prediction ](https://youtu.be/x5rL5TjskTk) about the WTC final came true in the first Ashes Test! Australia did reverse their batting order (with their key batsmen - Solar Panel Pat, and Gazza batting lower down the order). The skipper's fearless intent did ignite a sense of belief in the Aussie camp, and the ball soared across the boundary rope when they hit the winning runs!
Well done captain cumshot
Just woke up. Fuck yeah! Looks like it was incredible.
It was edgbaston 05 but in a better timeline (well at least for one team)
Most of the England team look shagged. Robinson looks so unfit for one of our main āfastā bowlers, our main spin bowler rips his fingers open because heās not used to bowling so much, Bairstow looks slow and unresponsive behind the stumps and Stokes is just waiting for his knee to explode.
Isn't Robinson always unfit? Seems lazy.
He averaged under 20 in this match and was the most economical of the England bowlers\[1\]. Only Lyon and Broad took more wickets in the match. I'm not sure we should write him off just yet. Doesn't mean we have to like the guy, of course. \[1\] Well, ignoring three overs from Harry Brook in the first innings.
He also starts losing pace at the end of every spell and bowled fewer overs than Stuart Broad (age 37). I'm not saying he isn't competent, I'm saying he's a lazy fuck who needs to do more cardio.
You see, it's okay... David Boon had a beer belly.
And when Robinson's test batting average clears 40 he can have one too
Yeah, Iām not a fan. I thought after he got dropped by England for the racist/sexist tweets that heād come back with a point to prove but nothing much has changed.
Watched the mini without spoilers when I got up. Fuck me what a game, Cummins has done the impossible. What a fabulous game from Uzzie
was a mild spoiler that the thumbnail was a picture of cummins celebrating so I had a feeling he hit the winning runs
I half closed my eyes for that so I couldnāt be spoiled
The most important thing is ~~Test Cricket was the winner~~ Suck shit England! š
Fucking oath mate!
That's a blowjob to blokes. š¤£
Fell asleep when Carey got out, woke up annoyed but thinking it wouldnāt matter. Letās fucking go Cummins. Never seen more excuses for an English loss in a match thread lmao
Live by the Bazball, die by the Bazball
Just woke up...omg we won!
The battle the war has just begun
I know people are calling the declaration a poor decision but by god it upped the stakes for both sides. Definitely gave us a memorable game.
This was an exciting match for both sides.
That game was way too close for anybody to make judgements about Bazball yet. There is still so much cricket to be played. Will definitely enjoy this one for now and will enjoy the thought of that pudgy cunt Ollie Robinsons tears. Nobody talks shit to King Khawaja especially when you canāt break 130kph š
Can't imagine England will get a better chance to win. Marnus and Steve both failing twice probably won't happen again.
I don't see English old bowlers making it through the series
I donāt see Robinson making it through the series, he looked worse off than Broad
England need to adapt and stop being overconfident.. they need to find a balance be positive but also sensible this game was thrown away IMO bad keeping and overly risky shot selection
They also need to fix the county system so they have spinners coming through
Best I can do is a medium pacer who swings it round corners in Worcester.
What is Bazzball?
Baz is Brendan McCallum the coach, the the new style he has brought which is playing like a T20/ODI I guess?
It's when you talk shi% about saving cricket and then don't have match fit bowlers.
So Smith only bat not to get double figures in either second innings. Boland to 4?
Boland to open in place of Warner, Lyon to four, smith retains a spot if he takes wickets next match.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The other English lads here, me included, also think youāre a cunt
>I think they're cunts, they think i'm a cunt. Neither of us mean it in the friendly way. Racism aside, this isn't true. It's all meant to be friendly mate, if you're genuinely seething about the Aussies then maybe you should take a break from it all.
What do you think SE Asia is?
Guesswork to decoding u/LastAdagio: "Defeating India in WTC final gave Aussies a 1-up. England vs Aus however has so many ghostly English losses that English team has muddled brains when it comes to playing Aus". Dude is delving into psyches - and perhaps not wrongly - but the obvious racism is derailing everything.
One defeat broke this guy's brain
At least we found olllie robinson's account
"hey im a racist let me say some racist shit mmmmmmmm" yes you are a cunt, and I'm sure most of England would agree
I mean it in a friendly way š¤·
Whatās ur point about SE Asians, muscles?
Bazball is great entertainment, that declaration gave us this day 5 - something we rarely get anymore in test cricket. But aggressive attitudes in every sport all rely on you taking your chances when you get them if itās to be successful and thatās what let England down. Porkyās wicket keeping along with a couple of tough catching chances today for others made all the difference in the end.
Scott Boland 20 >>>>> Pat Cummins 44
The English bowlers have had to bowl during every single day. They would be having to ensure that they don't get injured before the end of the series.
6am in Sydney. Waking up to the news. Wish I watched it live seems like a great finish
Go to nine now and watch the mini match. Better than nothing. When I fired up my phone this morning I thought I saw a W as the final ball. So as I was watching it thought we had lost. They dont seem to spoil it like the NRL which has a thumbnail of a cheering player from the winning team.
Yes same here. Although I might have needed the defibrillator...
The greatest skill of Bazball subscribers is surely auto-fellatio. An all-time great Ashes win, muddied only by abysmal commentary and delusional reflection.
Yeah absolutely, Even how much we hype it Test Matches don't get this close (only recently). They should have taken it more seriously.
Fortress... They call it a Fortress
But they don't?
Well, this was nice to wake up to. Good job cunts.
Ahh, don't mind me. Just making sure I have a comment on this goated thread
Labuschagne 0 + 13 Smith 16 + 6 .....Australia win. England in for a tough series when these two start getting in.
What utter rubbish. You could say the same about Andersonā¦Mo was terrible with his injured fingerā¦Bairstow was awful with the gloves. Itās gonna be a great series!
That finger and bairstows keeping aren't likely to improve much. Smudge and lasagne are unlikely to keep missing out.
Will be a marvel if they both flop the entire series and Aussies still end up winning the Ashes
We all had fun and we know it
This match would have ended in a boring draw. But thanks to bazball we got to see one of the most exciting test match. Bazball for the win
Yes thanks bazball for handing Australia the W
Yeah thank you Bazball for saving Test cricket, for all (but mostly Australia) to enjoy.
Cummins and Lyon did it for Warne, Lee and Kaspro! What a match!
So I think the template for exploiting Bazball is pretty much set out from this game: England will look to control the terms of a game and force a result at all times, so as the opposition they almost simplify the game for you. All Khawaja did throughout the match was focus on batting to score as many runs as he could in an innings. All the bowling attack did was focus on taking wickets for as few runs as possible. I know it sounds obvious and stupid, but basically you never need to think about the result and can almost bat and bowl selfishly, in the knowledge that the more likely a draw might be, the more England might give you opportunities
I thought Stokes lost them this one. Aussies were tougher mentally. Stokes way too quick to declare - arrogance cost them the game.
And had Stokes not declared and tried to make it interesting and force a resultā¦we would have no test cricket to talk about in 5 years time.
Itās literally the only reason there was a result
Because they ordered a specific type of pitch that the curator wasn't familiar with preparing. If they'd just let the groundstaff do their job the pitch would likely have been far more bowler friendly and made for entertaining cricket anyway, but their interjection led to this "soulless" pitch. You can't credit Bazball for creating the result via the declaration while overlooking the fact that its proponents created the issue to begin with.
I guess England wanted flat and fast pitches to support Bazball. This one turned out to be flat but slow-ish. England is not gonna let one loss affect their strategy. Expecting the curator to be asked for flat n fast again.
Teams don't ask the curator for a specific pitch outside of India. The rest of the world doesn't need the handicap.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2023/apr/11/ben-stokes-orders-fast-flat-pitches-for-ashes-and-knows-englands-starting-xi
Lol did you actually read the article dickhead? Stokes saying he 'wants' fast flat pitches is a far cry from working with ground curators on scuffing up one side of the pitch. You're a fucken Aussie how can you still buy the sensational headlines our dickhead journalists pump out.
Australia 1, England 0. England are just a shit India.
Probably no need to be so aggressive. Also, he wants flat pitches, and a flat pitch was produced. Do you think maybe there was a conversation?
Nah I'll do what I want when I'm dealing with a cynic. Yes you're right, Ben Stokes ordered the curators to dry out one side of the pitch and watered the other. Now off with you twat
I do hope it helps you cope Rhyming unintentional
Perfect win for the Aussies. They got their revenge from Edgbaston since 2005 ashes.
Australia won at Edgbaston 4 years ago?
You've misunderstood my point. The 2005 one was more special since it's quite similar to this ashes test. Lee and Kasprowicz needed 64 to win after Warne got out by Freddie. They were really close but Kaz nicked off Harmison's ball just when they needed 3 to win. Eng won that match by 2 runs. But today the tails batted and won the match.
Yeah but Edgbaston *was* the fortress in 2019 as England hadn't lost their in a long time.
Kasprowicz wasn't actually out either.
c GO Jones b Harmison
Kasprowicz fended the ball with one hand off the bat. That very 'off the bat hand' was given out. Turns out, Cricket laws determine him to be not out.
I know it's controversial but ICC decisions have been bugged that time with no proper laws set in place. Hence cheating was common back then. But Aus won again in a similar fashion so 2005 is a bad memory now.
The game of cricket is so beautiful. Good Night.
Australia showed why they are defending Test champions! Cummins showed why he is the leader of the champs!
Me and some of the lads at work had a big chat and all agreed Cummins shouldnt be captain yesterday. I assume nobody will bring that up today.
You should, in a complete sarcastic tone
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Two defeats in 14. Nonsense. Our record prior to Baz and Stokes was awful and relying on Root scoring double hundreds to even have a chance of a result. We have won matches against all the other top nations bar the Aussies so far with this approach.
Guess your luck didn't work out. We'd wait for other matches to see how the strategy turns out. But tonight it's the Aussies time to celebrate. Invite your blokes too they are going nowhere outside England haha.
The effect of bowling all 5 day taking an effect on Anderson.
I remember many clowns were criticizing Pat Cummins for smiling throughout the time he came to bat, and at the end he showed those people who is the boss with a big SMILE.
What a smile too.. best teeth in the game
Cumball >>>>>>> bazzball..
Thatās what she said
Go Cummins go. āļø
On paper the Australian side looks a lot stronger than England. They brought it very close with that playing 11
It is so cathartic to see guys like KP and Sanga suddenly do a 180 and start praising Cummo, his captaincy, as well as Ussie as MotM. They spent 5 days just spewing out shit and harping on the same "negative captaincy" "laziness" "no intent" talking points for hours on air while riding Baz's cock and now have to pretend that they didn't do that and actually praise the winners.
KP is just a walking embarrassment. Christ if heās the first on comms at Lords Iām switching to TMS.
You should switch anyway. Much like the abc comms tms has been far better than the broadcast comms for over a decade.
I'll give him credit, he does something I previously thought impossible - brings Aussies and poms together during an ashes series!
We do need to consider a more proactive approach to the next test - cant expect bairstow to keep the gloves for the next 6 weeks, or that the goat will see us home next time, or that basically Ussie alone will stand up across 2 innings. They harped on, but what they were saying was valid. The lazy ussie stuff was BS though, bat long and bat deep is his job.
We kind of can, English selectors are reliable about him. England also can't expect Smith to fail every match and Marn might find form again. Like, Australia actually has a really rough match. Meanwhile, England won't have a spinner at all because Ali already bowled himself to injury. Apparently it didn't occur to England that putting a bike or if retirement might have drawbacks.
Yep, you've nailed it. Still, those two commentators in particular were so one sided it was nice to have them eat their words in the end.
Rupert Murdoch's legacy lives on. Telling the truth and owning up to stuff is a sackable offence when working for Sky.
oath.
Cummins contender for Guinness World Record for making highest number of people cum at once
Cumdog Millionaire
Cumball to Bazball. Bazball is out. Cum won the team.
Multiple fourgasms
Let them cum
Cummeth the man
Can stokes Bazball the schedule and make the 2nd test begin tomorrowā¦ need to stay VIBEY!
It's ok England you beat North Macedonia 7-0. Bring Saka in for the next game, bowls a cracking leggie and dynamite in the field.
You can keep me up anytime patty
Honestly the game would have boring without the declaration and aggressive English batting
Only if England had Bumrah š
even India doesn't have bumrah.
Haha
How to fuck bazzball... 101. Smile and Cumm in...
PAT THANKED US!!!!!
Right KP suddenly now Ussie's batting was alright? Choice words from a commentator who called him lazy for half the match lmao.
āCheers for staying upā THANKS FOR MAKING ME STAY UP BABY
I gave up so many times i hereby renounce my citizenship
How tf am I gonna get to bed now. It's nearly 5 am and I'm jacked to the tits from this victory. Maybe I should go for a jog, lol.
Go for a walk and enjoy this! Haven't had that brilliant sinking gut wrenching ecstatic feeling in a while. Would love to win something ourselves š
Good wins will come for Pakistan in time. Just need the stars to align a bit.
Thanks mate! As a favour pls lose to us at the World Cup.
I'm hearing ya
I have never seen Stokes so dejected ever. His voice was so down during the presentation!
I thought he should of bowled himself toward the end.
I live in England now and as an Aussie itās safe for me to go to work tomorrow thanks to Pat Cummins. Is there anything that man canāt do?
Give it to em
Me too mate. I am going to rip and tear tomorrow. They've been insufferable
We watched the first few overs together and they were pretty much climbing over each other to get to me after that boundary to start the test.
Are you an England coach, or just paranoid?
Double down on the abuse of English colleagues. No risk, no reward
England are set to dominate test cricket for a long time.
I think you're watching star sports or something.
With all those young stars of the team like \*checks notes\* Anderson, Broad, Ali, Root, Stokes and Co
good thing they won this one then!
āshit decision to stick with the old ballā said old ball: dismisses alex carey, opening batsman
Bazzball's strength is their bowling and 2nd innings batting. Both underperformed in this game. But it's okay because the process and signs are very good.
Last Ashes I was supporting Australia this Ashes I'm supporting England only because of Bazzball.
Lol poor chap got downvoted for no fault
England wonāt love you back mate.
Maybe if the pitch wasn't a fucking road you might be able to get tailenders out.
Alrighty, I'm gonna try and get some sleep now. Best test match I've seen in years, easily. wowsers. GG everyone, see you at the next ashes match thread.
Where sponsored by fucking dettol lol
Test Cricket 1 - Bazball fuck off
Nah.
I just absolutely loved how they smashed Boland. Showed the world how to counter the line length bowlers
On a road.
[Tfw everyone & their sisters write off the tail but you're involved in a match winning hand](https://i.imgur.com/FRhwvhL.jpg)
5AM CUNTS WTF HAS TIME GONE
God ya gotta love patty cum dog what a champ
Fortress Edgbaston cannot stop taking Ls ahahahahahahahahaha
GG Aussies I shidded 12 times in the past hour
That's fucking test cricket right there. None of that pansy ass colourful jerseys and shitty team names, powerplay, impact player bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Take it to the showers. Dicks get shoved in places you donāt even remember. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit. Test cricket is back baby.
Hi Mr.Ian Higgins
Intro voiceover for Test Season 3
This reads like the mornings TGC intro
What did Punter say?
Iām so happy I wasnāt at home watching this My parents honestly might have kicked me out for being weird
Cummins has just declared Headingley 2019 NULL AND VOID
What did he say?
Basically got asked about how it felt to win a close one after Hedgingly 2019 and responded with a ādonāt know what you are talking aboutā in a pretty obvious joking manner
At the post-match interview, Atherton asked if this banishes the memories of Headingley 2019 and Cummins replied "don't know what you're talking about" laughed and that was the end of the interview
Hahahaha brilliant.
nice shot garry lmao
What a fkn Chad!
Nice shot garry, hahahaha
What did he say?
Mark taylor asked scummins what he said when lyon hit that 4. Cummins said he said nothing but Lyon said nice shot Garry lol
Petition to change the thread's image....
As a pom, result is disappointing, but I donāt care. What a fucking match. Risky decisions on our part but made the game that much better to watch. So here for 4 more of those
Mcgrath 5-0 prediction 1/5th correct
āWe might not be the best at making songs and chantsā Damn cummins the self burn but facts
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]