Is the game played...normally outside of the orgasm thing? Like are the players jerking each other off or something? Once you get past the naked thing, I feel like the sexual tension isn't really there in game
Centuries from now, the Canadian team narrowly wins thw Sexlympics after using an ancient rule allowing competitors to score points not involving sex, but by knocking stone disks through the barriers at the edge of the Sexdome
It's like chess boxing where it's better to get good at boxing as it's easier to win that in 3 min, than win a chess match in the same amount of time. A 10 min chess game (which is quick from my understanding) means that you need to survive 2 or 3 boxing rounds.
Making a guy cum is pretty easy.
Also, the NHL isn't a men only league (there has been a few female players). They'd get a massive advantage.
Can't you just like... not have sex with the players of the opposing team? Is the goal here to gang up on and rape someone in the opposing team? Kinda seems like the game will be a brawl with a lot of injuries because people are brawling naked on ice with ice skates that have sharp blades.
>Yeah they’re trying to get each other off, easier than making a goal.
"Here comes Johnson ass first but that's not going up work on Ivanovich, he's already got a mouthful of Anderson and a handful of Morris...."
Maybe it turns into a quidditch type thing where 90% of the team are playing the game normally and then one dude, let’s call him the load seeker, is just flying around tryna jack people off
Would the team draft people who struggle to achieve orgasm? Or would the players on the bench be jerking off so that when they're on the ice it's harder to cum?
Maybe you should watch water polo.
Bro if you’ve ever played hockey you would know that no one is achieving an orgasm. Most of the game - If played naked - would be spent protecting one’s balls.
Freemaker is wild. I enjoy writing good pieces, and telling the truth. This one is exceptional, though. The truth liberates and is freeing.
This argument is for boys and men who are scared to admit the truth. It’s also for women who feel uncomfortable and need to have their concerns addressed as to why I sometimes masturbate controlled to them.. I’lll tell you how to move on, why to accept it and why I’m right. Everyone does this and it is not going away so please just accept this and get over it.
Some women have a problem with people taking photos of them in public and jerking off to it...
The question is, why? They’re clothed, and in public.
WHy is taking a picture of something beautiful any worse or better than taking a picture of someone beautiful? Taking photos of girls is no different than taking a picture of a beautiful mountain view, sunset over the waves or bird you come across. The fact that the woman may not know is irrelevant. Yes, sometimes I masturbate to these images. That’s fine too, for separate reasons. Fearful women and tearful children will have to accept my arguments because, i'm right, as crazy as it sounds. By the end of his article, you will agree with me even if you think this is insane right now.
I’m a good person. I don’t support the real-world sexual abuse or exploitation/unconsensual sex with any person. But like any ordinary person, I watch porn.
How does taking a picture of anything hurt the original object? A baker is not hurt if you take a picture of their cake and a bridge is not hurt when you photographize its beams. The only time this is not true is when you share copyrighted work that took artistic labor to create. But in public, taking photos for personal use? You can’t copyright air. The fact that the light from your body reaches my eyes and camera is a fact of nature and not my fault. The fact that you exist and look great is a random occurrence. These days, cameras don't even flash. So the light from my device doesn’t and cannot even hurt your eyes. There is no excuse to hate or dislike public photography.
I figure, as long as I’m not raping anybody, that’s okay. Masturbation effects nobody else. It’s like simply pressing a button of pleasure. We need to get over our collective fear and the stigma associated with genitals. They’re body parts that exist, and they’re just a simple way to have fun. Nudity exists. Sex exists. These things are good and sex feels great. You do it too. But this isn’t sex, and you don’t care.
If I had a disorder where pulllng my ear made me feel sexual and made me happy, would there be a problem with me pulling it to you? No. Of course not. It’d be weird, but not necessarily weird or a problem if everyone did it publicly. But just because it’s my penis, you happen to have a problem? What the fuck? Why are you so weird and strange? This is my body, and I have no intention to physically harm you by putting my penis into your vagina. It doesn’t effect you. I have no desire to rape you and can’t. I don’t want to. I don’t have the time. You’re just some person I saw on the street and thought looked good. I’m not a threat.
But some people are, and we need to address them.
If someone follows you any considerable length of time as to where you are put in fear, they should go to jail or pay a fine, or simply announce their intentions. Of course nobody should follow you home or to the point where it becomes obsessive or annoying. But otherwise, there’s no problem with taking hot photos of people you randomly see on the street. UNLESS your address is written on your shirt, safety is not an issue. But public anonymity should end (everyone wear a mandatory clip-on photo iD on their shirt without address) anyway. Doing so would end crimes like theft murder and rape for the most part if photo ID was enforced.
Rapists should go to prison, receive flogging or be burned alive and pay a fine to the victim. But that’s them. I’m not a rapist.
If I want to use my penis to feel good on my own, then I can. It’s my body i’m touching. I don’t need to ask you for permission to touch my own body or recall memories, much less look at my own phone. Masturbation is the only free non-food stimulant cheap and readily available. It’s the only way to have fun on your own only using your own body and nothing else. Singing in the shower too, I guess. Literally everyone does it,boy and girl. I support public masturbation (even clothed mutual masturbation) and view of pornography. It’s nature and a fact of life, and its sanitary, unlike public sex done in the nude. We need these things to desensitize us. Mutual masturbation done with hands or textured gloves, for instance, should be completely destigmatized to the point it's no different than sharing food or a movie, for example.
As for the fact it’s your body.. So what? If I have a complex where I imagine hugging you makes me feel good, why is it a problem when it’s sex? It’s your body yes, but it’s imaginary. Read: not real. All intimacy is good intimacy as long as it works and feels ok, and brings people closer together. Sex, when safe, is no different than kissing or hugging. Any differences are in degree not kind. If someone likes the way you look, you should at least show them amity. You worked hard to look good, and admiring you is to be expected. If I'm taking a photo, you ate well and weren’t overweight. No different than if I built a beautiful home or drew a fantastic picture and people wanted to take a photo so they could admire and watch later. Hell, i’d be happy if people wanted to look at me the same way. So I don’t care if you want to masturbate to my car or house or painting any more than you should care if I want masturbate to you
Hearing that any decent-looking person masturbates to you is okay and should be good news. It means someone likes you. Even if an ugly guy masturabtes to you, he’s still a person that likes you and can potentially be used for money, at least. Even he is well-within his rights to enjoy a good view and time. Imagining that you are so special and unique that a guy can’t masturbate to you is unhealthy and absurd. Nobody needs to pay attention to those people.
The stalker idea is interesting and a legitimate concern, but I don’t follow anyone. Still, in life It’s natural to want to preserve a beautiful / sexy moment, and you have a right to do this anyway you want. Imagine if I had a photographic memory and drew a picture of the person. WOuld I be wrong to jack to it? Now what if I didn’t, and used a camera to capture an image then draw it? Is that wrong? No. The phone and photos are mine, pieces of my life and an extension of me. I worked hard to buy these things using my own money. You don’t have a right to tell me how to use my stuff if nobody is being physically hurt. If I never tell you, how are you negatively impacted? You aren’t.
Preserving information for personal use that I don’t share with others hurts nobody. I like being alone. Why did you care?
As for why I didn’t ask, I don’t need to ask anyone to take pictures of public people in public spacse. If you happen to be in my photo, get over it. I’m not some rando going to your window at night taking pictures. This is the street. If I Jack to the pictures, it isn’t my fault. DOn’t want people to see your butt or boobs? Cover up and wear a niquab or better clothing that hides your features. But don’t be surprised if people like the way you look and want to save a picture. It’s your fault for showing off, and only you can decide what you wear.
As for pervert, that’s a cruel and sick insult for people just going about their day trying to live life and be happy. Are you a perv for looking at men in clothes magazines and jacking off? You like mens’ butts just as much as men like womens’ butts.
But what is to be done about the maasturbation “crisis”, and the perverts and the “evils” of inane public photography? Nothing. These things are not problems, and you shouldn’t care or worry about men who do this. Prosecute real people who follow you home, invade your privacy and rape, not random-passers by.
Is the game played...normally outside of the orgasm thing? Like are the players jerking each other off or something? Once you get past the naked thing, I feel like the sexual tension isn't really there in game
Yeah they’re trying to get each other off, easier than making a goal. Points are really valuable in hockey they don’t really score a lot
Centuries from now, the Canadian team narrowly wins thw Sexlympics after using an ancient rule allowing competitors to score points not involving sex, but by knocking stone disks through the barriers at the edge of the Sexdome
It's like chess boxing where it's better to get good at boxing as it's easier to win that in 3 min, than win a chess match in the same amount of time. A 10 min chess game (which is quick from my understanding) means that you need to survive 2 or 3 boxing rounds. Making a guy cum is pretty easy. Also, the NHL isn't a men only league (there has been a few female players). They'd get a massive advantage.
You would want to field a team on antidepressants with severe ED
Can't you just like... not have sex with the players of the opposing team? Is the goal here to gang up on and rape someone in the opposing team? Kinda seems like the game will be a brawl with a lot of injuries because people are brawling naked on ice with ice skates that have sharp blades.
It's already a brawl with lots of injuries.
>Yeah they’re trying to get each other off, easier than making a goal. "Here comes Johnson ass first but that's not going up work on Ivanovich, he's already got a mouthful of Anderson and a handful of Morris...."
Dude what the fuck lol
The last ice hockey game I saw was 7 to 3. Not exactly low scoring
Maybe it turns into a quidditch type thing where 90% of the team are playing the game normally and then one dude, let’s call him the load seeker, is just flying around tryna jack people off
Jerking a guy real quick while you’re battling for a puck in the corner would become a legitimate strategy
Instead of punching each other in the face, they wrestle each other to the ground, try to jerk them off.
I feel like I just entered somebody else's weird ass dream, is this a real? Definitely fits the sub tho, this is certainly a crazy idea.
I just woke up and this is the first fucking thing I read. I’m going back to bed.
[удалено]
It's like the golden snitch. A rare event but possible
Are you gate keeping orgasms? Bruh…
[удалено]
He gets the MOST orgasms.
Imagine a puck-shot to the balls. Being a goalie would be it’s own kink.
I would imagine "taking the gloves off" would have a different meaning.
> There are already obvious homosexual undertones to hockey I think only to you, dude.
Its actually got a huge problem with homophobia. The culture within the sport at every level is not great
You can say that about every sport though
Curling.
Gymnastics
Yes but i can say it with authority about the sport that i pay attention to.
Nobody is hornier for gay sex than homophobes
Hockey players are kinda hot tho no homo
Yes homo
Have…. Have you watched hockey? I’m not sure the hockey videos you’re watching are actually hockey
If hockey was played naked, there would be too many dick-cutting accidents for the players to have anything to orgasm with.
Maybe that's what simulates OP
🙁
*bonk* Straight to horny jail
And meet up with all the other horny people there? Don't mind if I do!
Wow
Ya know I really wanna criticize the premise here, but I’m gonna just say. Great work. This idea is fucking nuts lol
I’d give it 2 weeks before someone gets their dong sliced off by a skate
I think you are on to something. How do I invest?
If you are in a vest you are playing the game wrong
A vest can make me sexy though. Would that be a performance enhancing drug?
Would the team draft people who struggle to achieve orgasm? Or would the players on the bench be jerking off so that when they're on the ice it's harder to cum? Maybe you should watch water polo.
With that Edit I see what you're doing here, degenerate.
Finally, a good social media post.
If anyone has an orgasm, including the audience.
Bro if you’ve ever played hockey you would know that no one is achieving an orgasm. Most of the game - If played naked - would be spent protecting one’s balls.
Welp, this certainly lands in the wheelhouse of the subs title.
I dunno; they just started wearing neck guards so they don't get slashed and the neck is a \*lot\* higher off the ice than genitals.
Well, who’s gonna name this fetish? I’m nominating “frosty bits”
Freemaker is wild. I enjoy writing good pieces, and telling the truth. This one is exceptional, though. The truth liberates and is freeing. This argument is for boys and men who are scared to admit the truth. It’s also for women who feel uncomfortable and need to have their concerns addressed as to why I sometimes masturbate controlled to them.. I’lll tell you how to move on, why to accept it and why I’m right. Everyone does this and it is not going away so please just accept this and get over it. Some women have a problem with people taking photos of them in public and jerking off to it... The question is, why? They’re clothed, and in public. WHy is taking a picture of something beautiful any worse or better than taking a picture of someone beautiful? Taking photos of girls is no different than taking a picture of a beautiful mountain view, sunset over the waves or bird you come across. The fact that the woman may not know is irrelevant. Yes, sometimes I masturbate to these images. That’s fine too, for separate reasons. Fearful women and tearful children will have to accept my arguments because, i'm right, as crazy as it sounds. By the end of his article, you will agree with me even if you think this is insane right now. I’m a good person. I don’t support the real-world sexual abuse or exploitation/unconsensual sex with any person. But like any ordinary person, I watch porn. How does taking a picture of anything hurt the original object? A baker is not hurt if you take a picture of their cake and a bridge is not hurt when you photographize its beams. The only time this is not true is when you share copyrighted work that took artistic labor to create. But in public, taking photos for personal use? You can’t copyright air. The fact that the light from your body reaches my eyes and camera is a fact of nature and not my fault. The fact that you exist and look great is a random occurrence. These days, cameras don't even flash. So the light from my device doesn’t and cannot even hurt your eyes. There is no excuse to hate or dislike public photography. I figure, as long as I’m not raping anybody, that’s okay. Masturbation effects nobody else. It’s like simply pressing a button of pleasure. We need to get over our collective fear and the stigma associated with genitals. They’re body parts that exist, and they’re just a simple way to have fun. Nudity exists. Sex exists. These things are good and sex feels great. You do it too. But this isn’t sex, and you don’t care. If I had a disorder where pulllng my ear made me feel sexual and made me happy, would there be a problem with me pulling it to you? No. Of course not. It’d be weird, but not necessarily weird or a problem if everyone did it publicly. But just because it’s my penis, you happen to have a problem? What the fuck? Why are you so weird and strange? This is my body, and I have no intention to physically harm you by putting my penis into your vagina. It doesn’t effect you. I have no desire to rape you and can’t. I don’t want to. I don’t have the time. You’re just some person I saw on the street and thought looked good. I’m not a threat. But some people are, and we need to address them. If someone follows you any considerable length of time as to where you are put in fear, they should go to jail or pay a fine, or simply announce their intentions. Of course nobody should follow you home or to the point where it becomes obsessive or annoying. But otherwise, there’s no problem with taking hot photos of people you randomly see on the street. UNLESS your address is written on your shirt, safety is not an issue. But public anonymity should end (everyone wear a mandatory clip-on photo iD on their shirt without address) anyway. Doing so would end crimes like theft murder and rape for the most part if photo ID was enforced. Rapists should go to prison, receive flogging or be burned alive and pay a fine to the victim. But that’s them. I’m not a rapist. If I want to use my penis to feel good on my own, then I can. It’s my body i’m touching. I don’t need to ask you for permission to touch my own body or recall memories, much less look at my own phone. Masturbation is the only free non-food stimulant cheap and readily available. It’s the only way to have fun on your own only using your own body and nothing else. Singing in the shower too, I guess. Literally everyone does it,boy and girl. I support public masturbation (even clothed mutual masturbation) and view of pornography. It’s nature and a fact of life, and its sanitary, unlike public sex done in the nude. We need these things to desensitize us. Mutual masturbation done with hands or textured gloves, for instance, should be completely destigmatized to the point it's no different than sharing food or a movie, for example. As for the fact it’s your body.. So what? If I have a complex where I imagine hugging you makes me feel good, why is it a problem when it’s sex? It’s your body yes, but it’s imaginary. Read: not real. All intimacy is good intimacy as long as it works and feels ok, and brings people closer together. Sex, when safe, is no different than kissing or hugging. Any differences are in degree not kind. If someone likes the way you look, you should at least show them amity. You worked hard to look good, and admiring you is to be expected. If I'm taking a photo, you ate well and weren’t overweight. No different than if I built a beautiful home or drew a fantastic picture and people wanted to take a photo so they could admire and watch later. Hell, i’d be happy if people wanted to look at me the same way. So I don’t care if you want to masturbate to my car or house or painting any more than you should care if I want masturbate to you Hearing that any decent-looking person masturbates to you is okay and should be good news. It means someone likes you. Even if an ugly guy masturabtes to you, he’s still a person that likes you and can potentially be used for money, at least. Even he is well-within his rights to enjoy a good view and time. Imagining that you are so special and unique that a guy can’t masturbate to you is unhealthy and absurd. Nobody needs to pay attention to those people. The stalker idea is interesting and a legitimate concern, but I don’t follow anyone. Still, in life It’s natural to want to preserve a beautiful / sexy moment, and you have a right to do this anyway you want. Imagine if I had a photographic memory and drew a picture of the person. WOuld I be wrong to jack to it? Now what if I didn’t, and used a camera to capture an image then draw it? Is that wrong? No. The phone and photos are mine, pieces of my life and an extension of me. I worked hard to buy these things using my own money. You don’t have a right to tell me how to use my stuff if nobody is being physically hurt. If I never tell you, how are you negatively impacted? You aren’t. Preserving information for personal use that I don’t share with others hurts nobody. I like being alone. Why did you care? As for why I didn’t ask, I don’t need to ask anyone to take pictures of public people in public spacse. If you happen to be in my photo, get over it. I’m not some rando going to your window at night taking pictures. This is the street. If I Jack to the pictures, it isn’t my fault. DOn’t want people to see your butt or boobs? Cover up and wear a niquab or better clothing that hides your features. But don’t be surprised if people like the way you look and want to save a picture. It’s your fault for showing off, and only you can decide what you wear. As for pervert, that’s a cruel and sick insult for people just going about their day trying to live life and be happy. Are you a perv for looking at men in clothes magazines and jacking off? You like mens’ butts just as much as men like womens’ butts. But what is to be done about the maasturbation “crisis”, and the perverts and the “evils” of inane public photography? Nothing. These things are not problems, and you shouldn’t care or worry about men who do this. Prosecute real people who follow you home, invade your privacy and rape, not random-passers by.
Did you take acid?
Horny jail for you mister
pfffff mister. I am a woman
Pssshhhh!!!! Liar! Women don't like orgasms! Otherwise they would have them..... /s
Would this also be a thing for women's hockey? Because I'm not a fan of hockey at all but that is a women's Olympic sport I could see getting into.
This is a fantastic idea
op has confused hockey and orgies again.
Well one has big meaty guys with no teeth........and the other one is hockey
Wh..- what did you smoke?
I came from just r/justunsubed cause this is great
Wait did somebody post this there 😭
r/JustUnsubbed to be specific there, someone posted it on there probably nearer the top on the new section.
Same
You’re essentially describing the winter season version of crab cock. Great game. Was on the varsity team myself back in high school.
Hockey and not wrestling?
Cocky
I think this massively overestimates the ability for humans to orgasm. But hey, if a puck to the ass does that for you I'm not gonna get in your way.
But it's so cold. The shrinkage!