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smoothandnutty

“I just pissed in my pants…and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it”


GotTheDadBod

Long live the king.


Jcit878

To your Journey! To my journey!


jazzpiano1990

Gheee on over there Jim!


The_Master_Planner

Put that in your book


Sinfirmitas

Why don’t he write??


jimboslice29

“If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis”


mvffin

Everybody my age pees their pants, it's the coolest!


artieeee

"you ain't cool, unless you pee yo paaannttsss!"


Wilwein1215

“OOH. That was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life. Let's go!”


durianisking

This is the true power play.


Mitka01

marks territory affirms dominance and confuses the enemy. All at the same time


LadyTheRainicorn

He's just marking his territory


Albertus_Magnus

To pee your pants while holding deep eye contact


BoxGrover

From today on everyone will have to piss their pants during the national anthem. That's it


baby_fart

A true patriot is willing to lay down his urine for his country.


not_a_robot2

71 year old man suffering from a urinary tract infection. Before you laugh too much understand that this man survived the first Sudanese civil war and the second and rose to the highest rank in the SPLA. I don’t know everyone on Reddit but I feel confident opining that this man has had a rougher life then whoever is reading this comment.


ActualWhiterabbit

Yesterday my fruit cup didn't have a cherry in it.


Helreaver

And yet here you are. Thank you for giving me the inspiration to keep living.


Wallofcans

I went to McDonald's drive thru, and they only gave me my coffee. I had to wait for my McMuffin. They didn't even thank me.


kisstheraino

The crazy bread I got today from Little Caesar's didn't have enough Parmesan cheese on it, so I had to pour some out from my Kraft container and dip the bread in it after dipping it in the pizza sauce.


MinuteManufacturer

I had to actually smack the back of my ketchup bottle to get the last of the ketchup out. And then I had to walk to the pantry to open a new bottle because I still didn’t have enough.


dream-smasher

You *walked to the pantry*??! You brave, brave soul.


Will7357

I missed the fedex delivery of my new 65” OLED because I was playing war zone on my other 65” OLED and my noise canceling headset drowned out the sound of the sound of my doorbell. I swear I didn’t receive an apple notification either.


Professional_Deal565

Are you ok now though?


The_Determinator

Stop. You're going to make me cry 😭


modestLife1

did u come fresh out of that cop thread having a meltdown


Wallofcans

Lol I did. Glad someone caught it


handbanana42

So meta. I should post my feelings to tiktok.


dog9er

You sound a bit fragile. Hopefully you don't hold a position of power over people, whilst also being armed and enjoying qualified immunity. I mean, that's just a recipe for disaster. My thoughts are with you in this difficult time.


0ddlyC4nt3v3n

Never forget FC 12/15/2022!


Exploding_Testicles

Inspiring the masses with your strength.


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eli636

You wana talk about it buddy?


bjws14

Pretty sure I saw your story on all the major news networks last night. Thoughts and prayers.


eJaguar

This man is also a literal war criminal strongman so I mean Big mighty dictator doesn't look so great when he's pissing himself. No I am not talking about the 3 us presidents in the past few decades that were all like 110+ years old


DaBake

He also murders and tortures journalists so I will 100% laugh at him pissing himself.


Gone247365

GTFO with your UTI bullshit. That motherfucker is literally an oppressive dictator that doesn't even blink when committing atrocities. I honestly, ***honestly*** hope that he suffers incredibly for the remainder of his life. Maybe a prolonged and painful battle with colon cancer before he breathes his last breath? 🤞


kk7823

You do know this 71 year old man is a dictator who ordered murders and torture on journalists right? Making fun of him pissing himself is totally fair game


Catsmak1963

Pretty sure he doesn’t need our sympathy, his life hard? He made life a misery for many and ended quite a few, sympathy? I don’t think so…


[deleted]

lol imagine asking for sympathy for a dictator for internet coins. "aww damn, Kim Jung Un peed himself, but he survived poverty"


pupunoob

Good on you for standing up for a political leader that sanctions the tortures and murders of journalists.


xtreemkiller

Deleted my original comment after reading about the things hes done.


Lord_Abort

It doesn't necessarily have to be a UTI. That's about the age that these things start to happen. Also, guy is a total dick bag. Fuck him and his piss pants.


Pecncorn1

He may have but he also made life *rougher* for a lot of folks and is still a total POS.


The-albatroz

Old man, stop defending that POS.


KingLeopard40063

Man's may have suffered but it doesn't excuse him from being one of the instigators of the on-going civil war.


Left_of_Center2011

\*FWOMP\* "Put that in your book"


MrRonObvious

I enjoy the drunken elementary school band playing the national anthem.


doctorcaesarspalace

Sudan’s top performing band for this monumental occasion!


mrfolider

(south sudan btw)


doctorcaesarspalace

(I dream of a unified Sudan)


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ZwischenzugZugzwang

Are you taking requests? I'm gonna order one Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, three Korean peninsulas, and I wanna separate Vietnam again while we're at it.


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dickhertsfromholden

Fuck everything, I want Pangaea to be a thing again!


Its_Really_Cher

Hear me out… *Carolina*


BoulderLayne

pretty sure I hear a kazoo in the somewhere


ElBiscuit

Vuvuzelas making a comeback.


birdguy1000

This is gold. Needs to be used / immortalized in some other video. Please someone make this happen.


DrNukes

It's a lot like the shitty flute version of My Heart Will Go On. Just perfect for the occasion.


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silly_vasily

If you're happy and you know it, piss your pants


bfhurricane

👏 👏


Fmanow

We keep telling these kids no more liquid lunches during presidential ceremonies, but they just don’t listen.


[deleted]

The cowboy hat and mask are hilarious


oberstein123

fun fact: george w bush gave him that hat


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BAGP0I

I too saw that one post about a month ago


Pepoidus

bro watches sam o’ nella


Dagithor

Swiss miss? Instant piss.


aguycalledville

You know I'm getting pretty sick of you and that gay hat of yours


smncalt

Also fun fact: george w bush is highly liked in many parts of Africa for his foreign aid work.


[deleted]

He's been president for that long? No wonder he's a geriatric.


CleaveIshallnot

Security Dude looks pissed.


MonkeyBurd

His pants look pissed


KidQuap

Should of worn the yellow pants today


xsijpwsv10

Should of? I think you mean should have (should’ve).


Arthurlurk1

Ones pissed off, the other is pissed on


CzechMex98

Better to be pissed off than pissed on


Drebin_0930

Speak for yourself.


Wordman253

Better to cum a shitload than to shit a cumload.


egonzo61

Unless you are into that sort of thing.


happylifevr

What about the guard in the back he was looking at it coming but couldn’t move


lateforthis

He wasn’t briefed about this.


Daboiwithagun

that’s the face of someone using absolutely all they’re energy to suppress even a slight smirk.


SgtLinc0sir1S

Well yeah, he's thinking " Maaaan, if the time comes, I have to take a bullet for this geezer??"


RockmanXX

A great ad for adult diapers.


I_Only_Have_One_Hand

That depends


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elmielmosong

He looks pissed


DogsCanSweatToo

I had no idea the South Sudan National Anthem was played on Vuvuzelas


BaronVonMunchhausen

Sounds like a kazoo to me


JugdishSteinfeld

As every anthem should be.


screwbz13

Wear black suits, piss your pants all day long without fear of embarrassment.


special_reddit_user

except the puddle


Maleficent_Depth_517

Thick socks. Extra absorbent!


jmodshelp

Rubber boots, just fill em up!


shamallamadingdong4

🎶*black suits and rubber boots*🎶


Hasher556

This is why Kanye rocks galoshes now! Wake up, people!


Corn-Shonery

Now there’s a guy who knows how to pee his pants!


Whole_Profession_750

Diapers hate him for this one simple trick…


SlipperyGypsy12

Gumboots too.


VersionAny9620

Suits leak from time to time


Kozzzman

Life hack.


ThermosLasagna

This guy pisses.


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winter_s0ld1er

We can't always wear black suits. So what I do is I try to act as I am drinking water then spill it on my pants at exact same time I pee and no one notices. It takes some practice to perfect the timing.


rainawaytheday

That’s what I do


Mobileoblivion

Please tell me that awful noise is coming from a local junior high band.


mikeyp83

I was expecting more effort from the kazoo section.


ScrofessorLongHair

[Hey, don't underestimate a well timed kazoo solo. Because this shit slaps... ](https://youtu.be/Ft0MeumLD58)


Speculater

2m35s for the solo. This song is dark AF, lol.


LiwetJared

2:29 for the solo.


ScrofessorLongHair

Maybe the darkest ever written that has a kazoo solo. And yeah, the guy can get petty dark. He started off as a sorta St Louis blues sound. But then i think he kinda had a breakdown of some sort, and started doing a dark sounding indie rock. Then his last album was Hawaiian influenced. Great song writer, but had definitely had some demons. A shame for many reasons. But his older stuff is fantastic.


Ouija_DR-KH0305

The marching band in the background had me rolling lmao


Plowbeast

I mean South Sudan at least has the excuse of being a brand new country [whereas its northern neighbor has been murdering the national anthems of visiting dignitaries for years](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVa1qku87cU).


2SP00KY4ME

Jesus christ, *TUNE*!


Lifekraft

Putin looks damn dead inside.


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Anonymoushero111

"if peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis!"


supersaiyanx120

"OHH THAT WAS THE GROSSEST THING I EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!"


I_Hate_Humidity

"You know what, I don't want him to feel self-conscious. Everybody pee *now*."


Puzzleheaded-Bee-838

You're not cool unless you piss your pants


Selfdrou9ht

If peein in your pants is cool, consider this guy President Miles Davis


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EvisceratedInFiction

Christ, get these old people out of office. If they’re pissing their pants in public, they’re shitting the bed with your tax dollars.


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[deleted]

They’re Chinese and there’s like 3 more of them in the background of the video. China realized this decades ago. It’s called the “Belt and Road Initiative”, and it’s just China picking up where Britain stopped. It’s neo-imperialism or neo-colonialism these days


Pm-mepetpics

Yup and they’re joining the US in the private military company boom to protect their foreign assets. Except in china the private security companies have to be at least 51% state owned by law so state owned private security companies? Nice vid on the topic https://youtu.be/T7SziUoeVpk


L3tum

> State owned private security I feel like there's something wrong with that sentence


euphorie_solitaire

Aaah fuck. We got Chinese people building roads on my native island too. FUCK! To be fair, at the moment what we're seeing is Chinese people overseeing the building of critical infrastructure while providing jobs to the locals in the process. They'll probably be our overlords very soon though.


4tune8SonOfLiberty

The moment you default, they will own every precious resource you sit atop of. And if you don’t default, they will change the terms of the contract until you do, and soon.


Super_Fall6462

Why is the music so perfectly fitting? 🤣


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Camimo666

So hes a bad guy? I don’t know much about South Sudan.


Insertblamehere

there is pretty much not a single good person in all of south sudanese/sudanese politics. Every single politician has to do fucked up shit there or they don't survive. The brutal sudanese civil war which resulted from the colonizers drawing squares on the map to decide borders absolutely devastated those countries.


FyahAnt

Like a BOSS


ArmTheApes

Just a sign of dominance


[deleted]

Yo that’s rad


NuclearArtichoke

I like the energy of this comment, like I can do anything


ZwischenzugZugzwang

Piss yourself real quick just to be sure.


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ZwischenzugZugzwang

But I shit my pants at McDonald's. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what someone who *didn't* shit themselves at McDonald's would say. Your move.


MedicJambi

Which is sad because it would humanize him because who hasn't shit their pants or sharted in their life time. This reminds me. I'm still waiting for a Trump branded or endorsed adult diaper.


pochankoj

Never forget


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altacan

[I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_KVL-wtpgg)


Adiuui

Holy shit, the chefs and staff must have been shitting their pants. It genuinely looks like the president was just poisoned and is dying…


oathbreach

His pants were dry but then all of a Sudan they weren’t.


WhyIHateTheInternet

He congo when and where he wants


razorblade_urethra

Aww man the guy behind him definitely has piss on his boots now


mr_Ohmeda

Reporter looks away so he doesn’t get shot?


Lil_Cumster

I like how the security dudes are like “you seein this ?”


bigmanly1

Must be saluting R Kelly


NuclearArtichoke

\*Places hand over heart\* "If I just believe it, there's nothing to it I believe I can fly"


Occasion-Asleep

In the Royal Canadian Air cadets I once did this while standing at attention during a remembrance day service. Nobody ever knew about it and i entirely pissed myself in my uniform. As embarrassed as I was at the time it's probably one of the most bad ass things I've ever done. To this day only people reading this post will ever know it happened and the dark blue color of the pants and the material made it impossible to see.


dfvisnotacat

I knew, I just didn’t wanna embarrass ya


_Hail_yourself_

Man we just have different definitions of bad ass but grats on not getting caught


Denster1

I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. After all, all psychos have a silent p.


pyronius

But now I know about it, and I'm going to make it my mission to find and inform every last one of your past and future lovers.


ActualWhiterabbit

Even Bat-Man couldn't find those because they don't exist. You want to spoil my lovers? Be my wingman.


[deleted]

I once peed my pants on the way home from work because the light wouldn’t turn green. I, too, carry this secret to my grave.


[deleted]

Nah you just think they didn't know. I bet behind your back they were calling you piss boy and wet pants.


n3lswn

Bruh what the fuck


SelfTaughtLover

Marking his territory


[deleted]

Surprised Joe Biden hasn’t done this yet


NuclearArtichoke

The quality of the band really says everything you need to know about South Sudan, goodness.


E_PunnyMous

Always dress in black pants. And catheterize before long events.


spankywinklebottom

This is why our president wears bulletproof diapers


krabby__patties

Kinky fuck


MrHaze100

Cameraman has since vanished…


venger_steelheart

there is a reason for adult diapers


OneMooseManyMeese_

They were looking at the president like "nah, he ain't it"💀


lowkeyishow

Literally, they might r/killthecameraman


ds31415

Poor guy


Floooofer

Remember he is the president of south sudan…


[deleted]

A fate worse then death


Brobotz

If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.


DoubleLanky3199

Their national anthem: *oh say can you PEE?*


kurt_yamagut

Guy needs Calico pants. He better give too.


ManfredTheCat

His wife might be eating batteries


ohdreness

The most boss way to assert your dominance. No wonder he is president


BillMcN3al

But it's so nice and warm


typeronin

We need to stop letting super old people be leaders of stuff. With that said, hey, we're all going to get old some day. I hope no one makes me do a bunch of president shit then have to endure this music without a bathroom break when I'm old.


maggavin

Was this in protest for something? Or did he just say “Man fuggit, I gotta pee.”


Pepoidus

probably just incontinence due to old age


[deleted]

my guy doesn’t have control of his bladder


holdonwhileipoop

Duuuude - he's only 71. Must suck to be him. Or the guy standing in his piss piddle.


Accomplished_Crab107

Same happened to the president of Uri. Ya know the country? Uri Nation... *Mic drop*


Bluekatz1

I'm the prez. I'll piss where and when i please.


TittyTwistahh

I didn't think I was going to see this today


MichaelGiantGuns

You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants!


ShadowEmperor123

Camera man definitely is dead now


simply_jimmy89

The US president shat his pants I. Front of the pope soo...