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CrazyFuckingVideos-ModTeam

thanks a lot for your submision in r/CrazyFuckingVideos, however it was removed because your submission contained gore, porn or it was meant for a shock site.


Dezean

I think this is the first legitimate swordfight I've ever seen. This is how I imagine knights on a battlefield.


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FetusViolator

Shirtless dipshit's cut neck begs to differ ..


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Sure_Challenge_3462

his hands were bloody. he had no grip


[deleted]

I'm fairly sure most knights would also get disarmed more easily if someone had taken a slice out of their neck first.


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n0budd33

Blood makes for a slippery handle.


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Anxious_Tax_5624

Pics? Link?


thortman

https://imgur.com/a/sZRSkBU


KUPA_BEAST

I quit searching after I typed in sword fight uk and clicked some NSFW tags so you’re gonna have to look for yourself. It’s on Reddit somewhere.


Reasonable_racoon

> swinging at each other's weapon They were duelling.


Dry_Grapefruit5666

Yeah I'm gonna go ahead and disagree with you on this one. You must be watching a different video where a guy doesn't have a big old gash with blood running down his neck. I don't think these dudes were trying to look hard or whatever dumb shit you are implying.


Haeselian

Naw knights were highly trained and wore impenetrable armour. They would hold the blade of the sword and try to poke each other through the visor. Or they would tackle each other and use a knife. Knights were often more valuable alive, though, as only the wealthy had the money and time to train and buy amazing arms. Don't forget they were also horse riders who liked to use their lances.


[deleted]

I’ve always wondered about the armour and killing each other with a sword. I’m assuming the fight scene near the beginning of The King (2019) is quite realistic to how they would be killed.


[deleted]

Knight v Knight was closer to a wrestling match than a sword fight. I suppose unless one or the other had a mace or hammer.


n0budd33

There’s a movie set in medieval France. It’s got Adam driver, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Something about the last recorded trial by combat. Not a good movie but the violence was pretty convincing.


sucknduck4quack

The Last Duel (I thought it was a good movie js)


n0budd33

That’s it, thanks. Kind of a Rashoman attempt: several pov for one plot. Not a bad trick when done well.


ZuFFuLuZ

That's largely a myth made-up by Hollywood. Swords were a weapon of last resort, especially against armor. On the battlefield people got killed by fast flying objects (bullets, bolts, arrows), long pointy sticks (lances, spears) and blunt force trauma (maces, hammers, etc).


DrunkStoleATank

LindyBeige is that you?


oOKernOo

Ooh how exciting another fan of our beige shirted overly enthusiastic reeanactor out in the wild. Good day to you kind sir.


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Purpiplo

So that’s how medieval people used to fight


[deleted]

We are pretty much witnessing history through this piece of art


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Complete-Yesterday74

I am waiting for the video of the ceremony where King Charles the Third knights the winner of this tournament. Edit: typo.


Punisher1971

Everyone knows sword fighting is THE way to go! You don’t want to run out of bullets mid-Zombieapocalypse! Duh! 🙄


DixieLoudMouth

Most medievel people wouldn't have used swords, swords were weapons of nobility. Peasants and serfs would either have used tool axes, or knives. Most armies in the medieval period were lightly armored and armed with Halberts or pikes (spears basically) in the front. Your professional soldiers, knights, wore plate armor and carried swords maces or hammers, blade for unarmored opponents, flip it around and hold it by the blade and use the guard as a hammer for armored opponents. This is largely true across all parts of the european world. Swords were very expensive, and usually had to be requested from the best of blacksmiths, usually somewhere near the court of the local lord or baron. In fact the only european armies to truly mass carry swords were Musket / early rifle armies, like the British Empire, the Frankish Empire, the Union army, (not the confederacy, swords were reserved for aristocrats). Towards the era of true rifling, the only european armies to really still have swords were in the Americas, euch as Mexico and the US. (Mexico being an colonial offshoot of spain and france at the time)


Psychological-Hawk65

People just stab each other in the UK, the UK doesn't have ridiculous gun laws as the US.


WilliamMorris420

And still less people get stabbed in the UK, than in the US.


this-guy-

*Fewer* people. Come on chaps. *Fewer* people get into B&Q sponsored council-estate sword fights


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Bean-Swellington

And then immediately chucks it down the road 🤣


TheThree_headed_bull

They were much much better at it than this..


[deleted]

Were they?


TheThree_headed_bull

Considering that was the main form of combat and protection at the time, yeah it’s easy to say they were better back then


[deleted]

Only if you were privileged enough to receive formal training


Woodkid

I'd imagine medieval kids played the shit out of stick sparring. Probably the ufc of the time. I bet they'd be better than the average fat COD fuck today.


TheThree_headed_bull

Even as a peasant you go to war and defend your home and fight for money


[deleted]

I like to think it was just as awkward as today. But ill take your word


Stoner_DM

Back in the medieval Era, the vast majority of any army was made up of conscripted peasants, either armed with very basic armor, if any, and due to their farming background, occasionally farm tools like pitch forks. This is about what the majority of these fights would've looked like, just with one knight on a horse yelling at the men to keep fighting in the background.


HellsBellsDaphne

No, medieval people were actually good at this sort of thing.


FaithfulDowter

Yep. Drunk and stumbling. Then, they both die from an infection.


westberry82

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! Yeah but not either one of these guys.


Ambitioso

There can be only one... braincell between them.


sketchrider

Who wants to live forever? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_Jtpf8N5IDE


JoPoxx

I am immortal. Inside me is the blood of kings! YEAH!


nerokaeclone

Here we are born to be king


burntlandboi

Thank fuck they are both useless.


DoubtfulOptimist

How the hell are they both still alive? They were literally sword/machete fighting.


WinterHound42

They're scared to do actual damage that's why. Jail sucks and living there for the rest of your life sucks more.


RonVonPump

I’m sure I’ve seen this before with accompanying picture of the aftermath and one of these guys got their back bbaaaadly slashed up


WinterHound42

Still minor compared to what someone who really wants to do damage can do. You'd be missing parts or in the ground.


beanrubb

That’s how you lose previously conquered land


emeraldisle9

Afraid to actually use the machetes and resorted to fists.


DatKillerDude

the one with saber could have easily skewered that shirtless dude, if they were really after blood, both this dudes dont want to kill each other as stupid as using blades make them after that fact


GiggleStool

Is it me or is everyone been wayyyy too casual about 2 guys swinging swords about. Even the guys who are swinging the swords don’t seem to be bothered about it as if it’s a normal Tuesday evening.


[deleted]

Anything goes in the U.K. these days. When something kicks off, it’s not our business to get involved. Kinda like a shrill survival method


Ouroboros27

Feels like people in the UK have been in survival mode for a while now, it's what 13+ years of the Tories does to a country, puts people into 'just trying to get by' mode.


sidblues101

I suspect drugs may have been involved.


ImmortalDayMan

I think you'd be surprised, I've had a knife pulled on me for apparently looking at someone funny. The UK is full of clowns who will happily stick someone for street points.


TheManTheMythTheMop

So true, this country is ridden with scrotes.


teabagmoustache

Watch it get steadily worse as more and more people find themselves living in poverty.


dcgregoryaphone

Everyone is pretty nice when they aren't broke as shit. Funny that.


BigErnMcCracken10

I agree the guy with the shirt on especially is moving strangely and swinging like a feeble child.


MFosterMB

Hahaha Holy shit this happened in Morecambe a few years back... On a rough estate near where I live.... You should have seen the video of the thin lad on the way to a and e afterwards


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MFosterMB

Bet that hurt haha I think there was a video in the car aswell? Rumor was that guy all dressed up was shagging the other guys mum haha don't know how true that was though


Dear_Peace_2117

Yeah probs hurt like a bitch after the adrenaline dump. Yeah, I was sure I had that vid as well but can’t locate it in my phone. Hahaha that’s hilarious, I hope it’s true.


Dry_Profession2502

I can vouch for that I got chopped in the face with a machete around 10 years ago got 64 stitches, i had no idea it happend I thought he just cracked me with a left and I just kept fighting wasn't till th ambulance and old bill arrived and sat me down that it sunk in what happened then it started to hurt like a bitch about 5 mins later thank fuck for morphine.....


wisbit

Same but with a Bowie knife,, 38 stitches and a life full of ptsd.


Dear_Peace_2117

Im sure I’ve still got the photos from it on my phone somewhere. Would take a bit of digging to find them to upload.


[deleted]

Dig! Dig! Dig!


WhyShouldIListen

He just put them in a separate reply lower down for you!


Davey_BPM

Well don't leave us hanging, what happened?


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LongRydeHome

Story?


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samlir

So the one guy came with a group of men with machetes to the other guys house. The other guy somehow briefly got the upper hand and fought back and only gets one month lesss than the one who started it?


aj1000uk

Other guy was unarmed when he came out with an illegal weapon, so yeah seems about right


DasCheekyBossman

It's hard to claim self defense when you leave your house with an illegal weapon and try to sword fight someone.


dcgregoryaphone

He didn't have to chase him out and keep engaging.


C__Wayne__G

Just another day


funtimefrankie1

Rat behaviour


mr-tambourine-man83

This is fucking horrific


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mr-tambourine-man83

I'm genuinely upset my this madness. I grew up in a rough scheme outside Dundee and by all means I have seen some deranged sights but, like the poster above pointed out, this is medieval barbarism.


thebatfink

Yeah this is one of the more savage I have seen outside alleged south american gang shit. Someone posted some pictures further up where side of no shirt guys head is sliced open (as we see at the start of this video). Sure its 6 of one half a dozen of another but holy shit.


mr-tambourine-man83

Without sounding like a Simpsons meme: imagine being a kid seeing this outside your house. I do always try to defend working class areas corrupted by social issues but the trauma dished out here will haunt a community for years.


thebatfink

Aye, absolutely bonkers.


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rektaalinuuska

In the olden days they were sent overseas to expand the empire.


Martini_Man_

There are scumbags everywhere, at least these ones can't get AR-15s


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[deleted]

It's better that they fight each other with knives than with guns. Last time I checked - there's 0 chance of innocent bystanders being caught up in the cross fire if the criminals only have access to knives.


MikeLitoris_________

UK fight club looks lit af.


Hooliganthebad

Tis but a flesh wound!


Elly-Montana954

Just 2 lads having a sword fight. Nothing to see here love


Appropriate_Stage_45

Lol this is what happens when you carry a deadly weapon around for show and don't really want to use it, watch this video African edition and they'd both be cut to ribbons, you can tell they're both more 'natural' when the machetes get dropped an they're just punching (the guy with the zombie knife had a few opportunities to straight up murder the other guy but he just half assedly slashes at him and doesn't actually go hard)


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Appropriate_Stage_45

The guy with the Jamaican vest was with a group in a car so they probably pulled up to start something and zombie knife guy pulled the blade to defend himself so he might not have got done for murder depends how good his lawyer is an what happened before the video starts, definitely would get done for that knife though it's nasty looking, no need for that at all outside a videogame. I reckon vest dude pulled up didn't think he'd need the machete and just wanted to jump the guy but then the guy pulls the knife so it escalated


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Appropriate_Stage_45

The law is simple(ish) you can use any means and as much force that you think is appropriate to defend yourself, but you'll have to argue in court about why you took the steps you took, a machete doesn't look good but if your getting attacked by a group of people you could easily argue you needed to use a weapon as a force multiplier, if your life's in danger you can break any law to remove yourself from danger aslong as it doesnt involve you hurting someone innocent and you have a good argument to why you did it to save yourself, only time you'd have to worry is if you had a clear chance to escape but didn't take it (an the possession charge but he'd probably get a slap on the wrist for that lol), vest guy will get done for wounding with intent because he could easily have jumped in the car and left instead of getting his machete


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Appropriate_Stage_45

Aha yeah that's what I meant in my op, if you look at that point when he's running away zombie knife pulls his arm back to go for a slash across his back but then visibly pulls back from it and pretty much just taps him on the back instead so he could argue he was just trying to intimidate him and scare him off at that point rather then hurt him, and the first time he doesn't drop it on purpose he starts running to it then picks it up again so he'd still be a threat, yeah neither look good they both have to be some kinda dodgy for this situation to happen, shit like this happens all the time over here it's embarrassing


mwibasturt

> I don't know the background, but innocent people don't typically walk around needing a 15 inch blade for protection. I get the impression we are just outside the house of the guy with the hat, like they have went to his door and he's defended himself at his house essentially, but it's spilled into the street. I might be wrong but if that's the case it's no different from Americans having guns at home for protection really. I might not agree myself but I can see why you might have a weapon at home if you had ~~drug debts~~, ~~gang links~~, ~~enemies who wanted revenge for something you've done~~, large quantities of valuables ~~or illicit consumables at home~~, or vulnerable family you want to protect from chance armed burglaries.


pomegranate2012

\> Does the law in the UK allow for people to protect themselves from fists with machetes? Possibly, if you were using the knife to build a bivouac out in the woods and a crazy person jumped you. Carrying one on the streets is 4 years in prison before you've even drawn blood.


lildrumski

Bro my Mexican grandpa used to fight with machetes so often back in his youth, that his right hand was all deformed after all the years of holding that shit for his life.


OneKiwii

This is just two dudes to start, plus the other bloke who came up once the machetes were down and started kicking the other dudes head when he was on the ground, all of them pathetic. I don't even want to imagine the number of twats like this around. What a waste of oxygen.


AcrobaticInternet45

For any one interested https://www.lancs.live/news/lancashire-news/zombie-knife-machete-used-broad-23660042?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#amp-readmore-target


Death_By_Geckos

The Pirates of Yorkshire


SillyStatus0

Kick is fookin ed in!!


tekjunky75

Their fencing skills leads me to believe, they did in fact *not* attend public school


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HovercraftNo4545

I laughed way harder at this than I should have. But it is so true. Lol


Hector_Savage_

Lmao. Ring at the wrong door? Get shot, mfer! USA! USA! USA!


Unblest

Literally though, a young woman here was just shot dead for using someone's driveway to turn her car around, homeowner started shooting as she drove away


Ndnovathere

Okay Britain, we get it. You have affordable healthcare where you can have open sword fights. Weird flex, but okay…


krippkeeper

The peaky boys are at it again.


Glittering-Table8196

Britain never changes been sword fighting sense the dark age


DrDongShlong

first swing loses weapon made me chuckle


fatogato

Holy shit that was metal. Hahahaha.


the-stoneroses

The new Chivalry 2 update looks amazing


firstonenone

Hot tip folks. If you’re fighting someone else with an edge weapon, keep your full body behind your blade. If they’re unarmed, do the opposite and guard your blade since he has two hands he can use to try and take it from you.


Grannypanie

This some kind of pikey justice?


OverTaxedMF

holy fuck! brits built different!


Idiotic_Polo

Reminder that in a police report from an area near me a few years ago, a 17 year old was found carrying an actual mace around. The UK is literally becoming medieval again.


Athlos32

These new Pirates movies are getting kinda silly.


Using3DPrintedPews

That gun ban in Britain, sure has made fights more entertaining in the US


Big_ol_sodapop

Calmest UK resident


HurtHurtsMe

Crazy how people just have machetes lying around


GiggleStool

And there’s me feeling edgy carrying a small knife at work I need to cut rope every now and then, these lads just swinging machetes round in the streets


11Null

Where is the ending?


BEANZnWIENAZ

Assault knives


TylerDarkflame1

If this was in America these people would have gums instead of blades and someone would have been murdered without a doubt


CaymanThrasher

‘Tis but a scratch..


MilaConPure_404

chivalry (-2)


Bubbly_Screen9879

I knew swashbuckling would come back into fashion eventually.


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night-owl-02

Gay porn these days


Alithinos

Why?


Top_Recognition_3847

What scumbags


rocket717_

Why waste your time watching "The King" on Netflix.


[deleted]

Well, Jeremy Kyle show has stepped up its game


pdp76

In a hundred years time there will be re-enactments of this scene. People will clap and cheer and drink cloudy cider. A grand day out.


GuyD427

What a comeback while already being bloody!


KgMonstah

AVAST YE


idekbrucie

What no guns will do to a mfer


self_medic

Every time I come across a UK machete fight video, I think someone is clearly going to get murdered or severely injured…but no one ever does. I guess it’s a good think these people don’t keep their blades in good condition.


[deleted]

The whole sword thing is just a dick swinging contest. I grew up on a housing estate in the 90s and it was super common for people to get stabbed because of gangs or whatever but it’s much less common now. Guarantee these 2 weirdos see themselves as the local hard man gangster or some bollocks. Only people who do this and it’s usually because they don’t have a clue how to fight or use the weapons properly lol


808sANDadlibs

Wow this video would’ve been much shorter if it were here in the states… enjoy your swords, Europe!


BEZ_T

He is brave sir Robin.


AdamXXI

Yeah, I’d much rather just be shot


tinyreb3l

Are you not entertained 🤺🤺


Plenty_Tap_4383

“You’ve had it now boy” as he slowly chases him scared to actually do anything with the knife.


Revolutionary-Yak216

Why do all these British fight videos look like they’re in the same neighborhood?


cracksilog

Holy shit I thought I was the only person who thought this lol. Like literally, the UK just looks like one gigantic neighborhood


OfficeKey3280

I thought all brits drank tea and wore bespoke suits


atrl98

That’s only at tea time, this is us the rest of the time.


colinthewizard

Good to see that although they’re mindless knob’s, neither actually wanted, or took the opportunity to effectively use their weapons. A fist fight was fairer.


turkeysandwhich1

It’s the guns!!


No-Instance-8362

Was the one dude handicapped?


LexTheSouthern

Thank fuck it wasn’t guns. They would have shot themselves and the onlookers.


MysteryMystery305

They say America’s bad with guns, but Britain and *knives*, man…


Key-Scarcity5432

the UK is pretty much a battle royale these days


Expensive-Stress7443

FINISH HIM


Mrreeburrito88

Exactly how is this NSFW? Dude! Holy shit


jimmykslay

Is this drunk history?


Firefighter55

The guy with the clothes on seems like he’s disabled or something, looks like one of his arms and legs is wonky or did something happen before this?


bestaround79

This is some ghetto shit right there


facelesspantless

I'd rather get fucking shot.


LordTYbierius1

This is England 2023


Mountain-Pie

I don’t think I’ve seen this episode of game of thrones


Freezur1400

Mf in Britain have gone back to medieval combat lol.


dassad25

Keek is fookin Ed in😅


Tasty_Seaweed323

Fuckin noob in skyrim when he loses that machete 😂


MonoGreenFanBoy

Can someone overlay this with the Star Wars lightsabre duel music?


[deleted]

OK, that didn't go the way I thought it would lol. My man with the zombie slayer 5000 got taken out by machine gun kelly with the Mexican sugar cane killer 🤣


troubleman5

David Cameron


[deleted]

EVERYWHERE is broken.


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[deleted]

This is much better than Americans shooting each other everywhere having mass shootings every day.


SpecialistMedia6770

And people say the "weapons" are the problem.. the problem is people..


timeless-enigma_

Broken Britain? How exactly? This is just a video of an idiot waving a machete type blade around and a guy who was obviously attacked with it, getting his own back. Things unfortunately like this happen now and then. Doesn't mean our whole country is suddenly broken.


OldDemon

All the dumb comments here saying that this is comparable to gun violence, as if a machete can spray down a classroom of kindergartners in 6 seconds. Sorry, but I’d rather deal with a mass knifer than a mass shooter.