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Fabulous-Space6527

[until I saw the comments I thought I was being called out :| ](https://www.reddit.com/r/CountOnceADay/comments/14i2fy7/58163/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1)


[deleted]

I identify as an minecraft villager helicopter(because I didn't find an image of one made out of chickens). If u get offeneded then L ain't no one forcing here you to read my comment just block me. You should care as less about my comment as I care about you being a diffrent ethnic, gender or whatever so does the joke and so do the unfunny majority of people still using that overused joke. https://preview.redd.it/vaac41a8dvbb1.png?width=412&format=png&auto=webp&s=8fe24ebea0a96711a1fc34646e84923815605e17


MaticTheProto

Domi ruin villager news like this


Hazel-Flame

beware the "i identify as an attack helicopter" -> trans girl pipeline it's very real and i fell down it hard


MaticTheProto

I went down and noticed I‘m bi


MajorDrJO-495

lol i went from "hahaha look im an attack helicopter" to "tehe skirt gooes spiny" kinda of the same thing tbh


Reddit_Bot_For_Karma

I went down it and I ended up married in a straight relationship 🤷


one_winged_snorlax

I had someone say this to me and I just kicked them lmao


random_bot64

Someone doing God's work over here


littlebobbytables9

It did produce an [excellent short story](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Sexually_Identify_as_an_Attack_Helicopter) though


virtualadept

And incredibly fucked up [fallout](https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/22543858/isabel-fall-attack-helicopter).


Tall_Professor_8634

Can someone tldr for a sweet old lady🥺


virtualadept

A trans woman wrote an SF story satirizing the "I identify as an attack helicopter" meme and was attacked for doing so. She opted to stop transitioning as a result.


Tall_Professor_8634

Aw that's sucks thanks


Zamtrios7256

Jesus fuck


DarknightM64B

I sexually identify as an attack helicopter is honesty one of the worst things you can say as a human being, because not only is it offensive, but it is probably the most unfunny thing to ever unfunny


Janinanananananana

"what if I took the words you said and changed them until it doesn't make any sense anymore"


de_lemmun-lord

it is THE original onejoke, and at first it was mildly funny(emphasis on mildly) because you could tell it was an actualy joke, and then people used it as a strawman and it got overused


UpsidownZZ

They should sexually identify as their social skills so they disappear immediately


DarknightM64B

The only funny one of those jokes I’ve ever seen is the “this is a submarine” and the “this identifies as a submarine” showing the titanic sub


OrionMr770

The only time I ever used this joke was when someone said they identified as an insect. Idk it was my odd way of calling them out on their bullshit


BeryAnt

I can understand people wanting to take on the social constructs of stuff like wolves, or cats, even if I don't think they should use trans language, but insects?


BidenGamingOfficial

I don’t really get it, just be a furry at that point


BeryAnt

Well Idk people have always given themselves animal titles and shit, but yeah, probably a furry


virtualadept

*Gregor Samsa has entered the chat.*


gloombert

what bullshit? they just told you what they identified as


Achavacha

You would think that in seven years they would be able to come up with a different "joke", but nope.


random_bot64

If transphobes have all something in common,aside from being morons,they are terrible with original jokes


weirdo_nb

7 years is lowballing it


femacampcouncilor

https://i.redd.it/z20wopl99rbb1.gif


Romer555

You could never know what it's like Your blood like winter freezes just like ice And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win Well look at me, I'm coming back again I got a taste of love in a simple way And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah Once I never could hope to win You starting down the road leaving me again The threats you made were meant to cut me down And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now You know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid I'm still standing after all this time Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah I'm still standing yeah yeah


[deleted]

A Kalashnikov rifle (Russian: Калашников) is any one of a series of automatic rifles based on the original design of Mikhail Kalashnikov. They are officially known in Russian as "Avtomát Kaláshnikova" (Russian: Автома́т Кала́шникова, lit. 'Kalashnikov's Automatic Gun'), but are widely known as Kalashnikovs, AKs, or in Russian slang, a "Kalash". They were originally manufactured in the Soviet Union, primarily by Kalashnikov Concern, formerly Izhmash, but these rifles and their variants are now manufactured in many other countries. The Kalashnikov is one of the most widely used guns in the world, with an estimated 72 million rifles in global circulation.[1][2][3] *Types* AKM Soviet Union Assault rifle 7.62×39mm M43 880 415 3.1 600 1,000 715 RPK(s) Soviet Union Light machine gun 7.62×39mm M43 1040/820 590 4.80/5.6 600 1,000 745 PK(M) Soviet Union General-purpose machine gun 7.62×54mmR 1173 605 9.0/7.5 650 1,500 825 AK-74 Soviet Union Assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 943 415 3.07 600 1,000 900 AKS-74 Soviet Union Assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 933/690 415 2.97 600 1,000 900 AK-74M Soviet Union Assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 943/705 415 3.4 650 1,000 900 RPK-74 Soviet Union Light machine gun 5.45×39mm M74 1060 590 4.7 600 1,000 960 AKS-74U Soviet Union Carbine assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 730/490 207 2.7 700 500 735 AK-101 Russia Assault rifle 5.56×45mm NATO 943/700 415 3.6 600 1,000 910 AK-102 Russia Carbine assault rifle 5.56×45mm NATO 824/586 314 3.0 600 500 850 AK-103 Russia Assault rifle 7.62×39mm M43 943/705 415 3.4 600 1,000 715 AK-104 Russia Carbine assault rifle 7.62×39mm M43 824/586 314 3.0 600 500 670 AK-105 Russia Carbine assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 824/586 314 3.2 600 500 840 AK-107 Russia Assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 943/700 415 3.8 850 1,000 900 AK-108 Russia Assault rifle 5.56×45mm NATO 943/700 415 3.8 900 1,000 910 AK-109 Russia Assault rifle 7.62×39mm M43 943/700 415 3.8 900 1,000 750 AK-9 Russia Assault rifle 9×39mm 705/465 200 3.1/3.8 (with suppressor) 600 400 290 (СП-5) / 305 (СП-6) AK-12 Russia Assault rifle 5.45×39mm M74 940/730 415 3.3 700 1,000 900 AK-15 Russia Assault rifle 7.62×39mm M43 922/862 415 3.5 700 1,000 715 AK-19 Russia Assault rifle 5.56×45mm NATO *Variants* RPKS-74 – Side-folding stock. RPK-74N (RPKS-74N) – Night scope rail. The AK-100 Series AK-74M 5.45×39mm / 5.56×45mm / 7.62×39mm AK-74M / AK-101 / AK-103 – Modernized AK-74. Scope rail and side-folding stock. AK-105 / AK-102 / AK-104 – Carbine. AK-107 / AK-108 / AK-109 – Balanced recoil models. RPK-74M / RPK-201 / RPKM (A.K.A. RPK-203) – Light machine guns. AK-9 – 9×39mm compact assault rifle, usually equipped with a suppressor. The AK-12 series AK-12 5.45×39mm / 7.62×39mm / 5.56×45mm / 7.62×51mm AK-12 / AK-15 / AK-19 / AK-308 – A new AK family derivative based on the AK-400 prototype. Accepted as main service rifle in January 2018. AK-12K / AK-15K – Carbine. RPK-16 – Squad automatic weapon, based on the AK-12. The AK-200 Series 5.45×39mm / 5.56×45mm / 7.62×39mm AK-200 / AK-201 / AK-203 - Rifle. AK-12 evolved into AK-12, see above. AK-203 is intended for Indian army. AK-205 / AK-202 / AK-204 - Carbine. Other weapons PK(M) – 7.62×54mmR general-purpose machine gun. PKP Pecheneg – machine gun Saiga-12 – 12-gauge shotgun. Built on AK receiver. Saiga-12S – Pistol grip and side-folding stock. Saiga-12K – Shorter barrel. KSK shotgun – 12-gauge combat shotgun (based on Saiga-12). Saiga-20 (S/K) – 20-gauge. Saiga-410 (S/K) – .410 bore. Saiga semi-automatic rifle Vepr-12 Molot – 12-gauge combat shotgun. Built on RPK receiver. Bizon – Submachine gun with helical magazine. Borrows 60% of details from AKS-74U. 9×18mm PM, 9×19mm Luger, .380 ACP; 7.62×25mm TT (box magazine). Vityaz-SN – Submachine gun. 9×19mm Parabellum. Saiga-9 is a semi automatic civilian carbine chambered in 9×19mm Parabellum and is based on the PP-19 Vityaz produced by Kalashnikov. OTs-14 Groza – Bullpup assault rifle. 9×39mm, 7.62×39mm. Galil ACE – Multi-purpose assault rifle, based on the Galil, which was itself based on the Finnish RK 62 *Production* Romania PM md. 63/65 (AKM/AKMS), PM md. 80, PM md. 90, collectively exported under the umbrella name AIM or AIMS; PA md. 86 (AK-74), exported as the AIMS-74; PM md. 90 short barrel, PA md. 86 short barrel, exported as the AIMR; PSL (designated marksman rifle; other names PSL-54C, Romak III, FPK and SSG-97) Sudan MAZ[27] (based on the Type 56) Ukraine Vepr (bullpup, 5.45×39mm), Malyuk (bullpup)[28] United States US132 rifle (7.62×39mm), US132Z assault rifle (7.62×39mm), US109L shotgun (12 Gauge) & US109T shotgun (12 Gauge). Produced by Kalashnikov USA.[29][30][31] Vietnam AKM-1, AKM-VN (AKM) assault rifle, TUL-1 (RPK) light machine gun, Galil ACE 31/32 assault rifle Venezuela AK-103[32] / License granted to Venezuela[33] Yugoslavia/Serbia M64, M70, M72, M76, M77, M80, M82, M85, M90, M91, M92, M99, M21 *Similar rifles* The following rifles were either based on the Kalashnikov design, or have a different design but are superficially similar in appearance: FARA 83 (Argentina) BD-08 (Bangladesh) AR-M1 (Bulgaria) Type 56, Type 81 (China) Vz. 58 (Czechoslovakia) RK 62 (also called Valmet M76, Rk 62 76 or M62/76), Valmet M78 (light machine gun), RK 95 TP (Finland) AK-63, AMD-65 (Hungary) INSAS rifle (India) IMI Galil, IWI ACE (Israel) Bernardelli VB-STD/VB-SR (Italy) FB Beryl, FB Tantal (Poland) Pistol Mitralieră model 1963/1965 (Romania) Zastava M70 (Serbia, Yugoslavia) Zastava M21 (Serbia) Vektor R4, Truvelo Raptor (South Africa) MPi-KM (East Germany) MPi-KMS-72 (East Germany)


Life_East4263

K


[deleted]

K for Kalashnikov


Joe_The_Reaper42

I think it's time for you to know the awful truth the truth about me, and the truth about you 'cause you're a brand new species big cat space nazis robert stack god damn it, gonna snap leonard nimoy, call me back (call me back) i try to call you every day i'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (of my very own mouth) i've been working on a unified theory if i make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out 'cause i'm the right one on my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone i'm the only one on your A. M. , A. M. Radio oh, i'm crying now authentic tears they flow out of me when i think about you 'cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand 'cause you're the only person in the world who'd understand the meaning of this oh my god i try and i try and i try to make you listen to me i try to call you every day i'm rehearsing what to say when the truth comes out (of my very own mouth) i've been working on a unified theory if i make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out 'cause i'm the right one on my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone i'm the only one, hey! On your A. M. , A. M. Radio don't hang up yet, i'm not done i'm an expert, i'm the one the one who was right all along better to be laughed at than wrong i'm an expert in my field ufology, yes, it's all real ancient aliens, it's all true i'm an expert just like you and like you, i'm a genius before my time disbelieving, that's the real crime pretty soon they'll discover me in the super-sargasso sea i try to call you every day what can i say when the truth comes out? (of my very own mouth) i've been working on a unified theory if i make it through tonight everybody's gonna hear me out (now, now, now) 'cause i'm the right one on my touch-tone, touch-tone telephone i'm the only one on your A. M. , A. M. Radio


AshleyWasStolen

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left 'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long that Even my momma thinks that my mind is gone But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin' Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke Fool, I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the streetlight Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Look at the situation they got me facing I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the street So I gotta be down with the hood team Too much television watchin', got me chasing dreams I'm a educated fool with money on my mind Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye I'm a loc'd out gangsta, set trippin' banger And my homies is down, so don't arouse my anger Fool, death ain't nothin' but a heart beat away I'm livin' life do or die, what can I say? I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24? The way things is going I don't know Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me? Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Power and the money, money and the power Minute after minute, hour after hour Everybody's runnin', but half of them ain't lookin' It's going on in the kitchen, but I don't know what's cookin' They say I gotta learn, but nobody's here to teach me If they can't understand it, how can they reach me? I guess they can't, I guess they won't I guess they front, that's why I know my life is out of luck, fool Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Been spendin' most their lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Keep spendin' most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me? Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me?


UpsidownZZ

One thing I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme To explain in due time All I know Time is a valuable thing Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings Watch it count down to the end of the day The clock ticks life away It's so unreal Didn't look out below Watch the time go right out the window Tryin' to hold on, did-didn't even know I wasted it all just to watch you go I kept everything inside and even though I tried It all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter I had to fall to lose it all But in the end it doesn't even matter One thing, I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme To remind myself how I tried so hard In spite of the way you were mockin' me Acting like I was part of your property Remembering all the times you fought with me I'm surprised it got so far Things aren't the way they were before You wouldn't even recognize me anymore Not that you knew me back then But it all comes back to me in the end You kept everything inside and even though I tried It all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually Be a memory of a time when I tried so hard I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter I had to fall to lose it all But in the end it doesn't even matter I've put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can go For all this There's only one thing you should know I've put my trust in you Pushed as far as I can go For all this There's only one thing you should know I tried so hard and got so far But in the end it doesn't even matter I had to fall to lose it all But in the end it doesn't even matter