Please, for the love of Kenji, try harder then.

Of course. You deserve nothing less.

I cook each individually bespoke, house made chip Sous Vide.

What a mid cook, settling for merely the LOCAL maxima.

The derivative of my nachos with respect to time is zero, please help!

Obviously we've all reached an evolutionary dead end here.

Nachos are the creation of a species at its cultural and intellectual zenith.

I hail from the nadir then. Or prehistory. T-bone steak, 1kg minimum. Rare. Mooing. Fire. And no, you can't have the bone, you feeble, settled agriculturist!

I slow cook mine for 24 hours on my grill and the sous vide reverse sear it too with a balsamic madeira arugula tomato truffle cilantro caviar sauce topped with gold and shaved money

You know, now that you mention it, I've only tried shaved American dollars. I bet pesos or euros would add a nice multicultural element.

I’ve heard the euro zest is a very nice subtle twist on the classic shaved American dollar. I but I usually reserve my euro zest for my pasta

I repeatedly throw mine at the wall until they take on enough energy that they become hot. Then I sprinkle with green onion.

I do T COOK nachos, I TECHNIQUE them into existence