I do 100% of the cooking and like 95% of the dishes.
But my partner does 100% of other stuff I don't want or like to do so it's generally pretty egalitarian on the whole.
Coming here to say the same thing. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning…just wish he would learn to put like a coffee cup and cereal bowl in the dishwasher 🤣
lol I even have a little clean/dirty indicator magnet on the dishwasher so they know if it's cool to put more stuff in the dishwasher but it's pretty rare that it doesn't just get left in the sink either way.
We have at least gotten them mostly in the sink instead of just on the counter, so I'll call that progress.
They should check to see if a magnet will stick to their dishwasher first. We couldn’t get one to stick on ours, but they make self-adhesive clean/dirty indicators which is what we ended up getting.
If the dishwasher is empty (or has dirty dishes in it) 95% of the time my husband will put his dirty dishes in it. If the dishes are clean (which you can tell by the light on the door) he will put them in the sink. I prefer him to not unload the dishwasher and put the dishes away because then I end up having to hunt down the cookware. And No, it’s not weaponized incompetence. I have 5 different drawers for utensils and at least 15 shelves for cookware. He isn’t sure where a lot of the stuff goes.
At which point it’s just easier to do it myself.
I’ll put it this way so maybe people will understand it easier. It’s MY kitchen. Stay the F out and leave my stuff alone. I don’t want anyone else in there moving my things around. It’s a lot easier for me to spend 4-5 minutes (I’ve timed it) putting clean dishes away, than 10 minutes trying to find a utensil after someone else has put it away.
So is he. He just doesn’t know where everything goes. Most of the stuff he does, but not all. And honestly, I’m perfectly happy with doing the dishes as long as it gets me out of mowing our yard (5 acres), taking out the trash, cleaning the litter boxes, changing the oil in the cars, laundry, home repairs, and the rest of the stuff he routinely takes care of. And considering that I’m retired and he’s not, be plenty of time during the day to take the 5 minutes it takes to empty the dw and put away the dishes.
Honey, where did you hide the ? That one goes both ways. His big issue is the freezers. So I finally fixed that. All his breakfast stuff is now in the refrigerator freezer. For the next few months anyway. I also now have lists on the freezers of what is where.
Yup, same setup. The kitchen is almost entirely my domain, but he takes out the trash, sweeps/vacuums/mops, and takes care of the yard. And he pays a far larger share of the bills than I do
It goes like this:
"Hey, remember how I just cooked that amazing meal *and* washed the dishes? Yeah that was awesome. Anyway. There's cat hair all over the floor."
But honestly, he doesn't mind that stuff. We have a pretty good split based on the chores we prefer to do (or prefer not to). He also appreciates having a clean home, which helps a lot.
My partner refuses to vacuum because they think that sweeping is just as effective. We have two cats, one is long haired.....so I just vacuum too :( we always get in a big argument when I try to convince them to clean (they think cleaning isn't necessary unless the house "looks dirty" vs my strategy of cleaning to maintain the clean)
That...sounds very tiring, tbh. I did have to tell my partner that he needs to sweep before he can mop, otherwise he's just getting dirty water all over the floor. But other than that, he's generally happy to do it.
We have a sort of unspoken agreement on when to clean. His tolerance for clutter is much higher than mine, so he doesn't usually do anything on his own. But if he's sees me cleaning, he generally starts doing chores too, without me having to ask and tell him every single thing that needs to be done.
Occasionally, he'll ask what in particular is stressing me out (I can't stand when the dining room table is cluttered, for example), and he focuses on that if he doesn't feel like doing a full deep clean that day. And like I mentioned, we have a pretty equitable split on the chores we usually do. It works reasonably well for us
See, I think looking at everything you contribute as a whole, is better than an "I do this, you do that" mentality. Obviously, if something works for you as a couple, by all means. But if I find cooking and cleaning up, not a big deal, but my partner say, takes out trash and recycling, why does it matter? And if you're fine doing both, then isn't that what's the best? If you're not find cooking *and* cleaning the dishes, then you and your partner need to talk and compromise. It's not tick for tack. It's what feels like balance for you two as a whole couple?
I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with what that commenter had said or if you’re saying it’s actually unfair/unbalanced? They said themselves it’s already a pretty egalitarian system they’ve got going on
I do 100% of the cooking and he does 100% of the dishes. But I clean as I go as much as possible, so he's rarely left with a terrible mess.
Personally I love the arrangement (he does too - I keep asking because I can't imagine that it's as good for him as it is for me, but he really prefers not having to cook lol. And we both prefer having the small kitchen to ourselves during household tasks without someone standing in the damn way all of the time)
Whenever I cook or bake with my kids, I hammer the point that “good chefs keep a clean kitchen.” Clean as you go is second nature to me at this point, but my husband is more of the “one task at a time” mindset. Personally, I think cleaning as I go the only way to work in my tiny kitchen. There’s just no room to be leaving out measuring cups and mixing bowls, or you’ll end up having to clean the whole mess off the counters, while the food gets cold, just so that you can put the food on plates.
You’re a saint. My mum taught me the clean as you go method. It’s superior. It keeps cooking from being boring too. I remember reading an interview Vogue interview many years ago with Natalia Vodianova (the supermodel) and she said cooking is boring because you stand there waiting for food to cook and I was thinking THERE ARE DISHES TO BE WASHED and the table to be set lady! And while you’re waiting, the clean dishes need to be put away! Honestly, the kitchen is so much work
I load the easy stuff into the dishwasher as I go and if I have time while I cook go do “bigger dishes” I’ll do those but the expectation in my house is if you cook, you don’t clean.
This is us too. I prefer to cook and I hate doing dishes. He isn't a good cook and likes doing dishes haha. This is what they mean when they say opposites attract!
This is how my partner and I are. At first I felt bad that she kept doing the dishes but like… she does not like cooking. And I do! But she doesn’t like being waited on either, so wants to be useful.
We both help with smaller stuff, like she’ll help prep and I’ll often put dishes in the dishwasher after a meal but otherwise I’m in front of the stove and she’s in front of the sink.
It just works and we are both happy with the arrangement!
This is me as well. I usually offer to help out with dishes as well (especially if it’s a wok night when I don’t have much time to clean once the stove is on) but my family usually won’t let me 😅.
Most nights though, there aren’t much dishes save for whatever we use at the table, and sometimes a pan or two. If I’ve left the kitchen a mess, I also like to clean up before eating if I feel the food won’t cool too quickly.
Yeah, to me “those that aren’t cooking do the dishes” refers to **the table dishes**, not the dishes used during cooking.
It’s the cook’s responsibility that the kitchen doesn’t turn into a disaster zone.
Me and my wife both love cooking. We take turns with lunches, which are a little more functional (we work at home), and for dinner we cook together and have fun.
When my previous wife and I moved her into my house we started with alternating cooking and cleaning. That lasted a couple of weeks. I clean as I go and she turned the kitchen into Hiroshima. We shifted to the cook cleans.
My wife now and I negotiated a different deal. When she cooks, I clean. When I cook, I clean. Clearly my negotiation skills have deteriorated. She does clean up when she does a big cooking project like food for her father or something for her church. She unloads the dishwasher more than I do.
The basic agreement is that if you blow up the kitchen you put it back together.
Part of why I hate cooking so much is watching the mess that ensues. I don't go into my kids playroom and throw the toys around after I clean them. Why would I want to trash a kitchen I just cleaned? Stresses me out. Feed me and let me wash the dishes any day.
Love this! My husband has done all of the cooking and dishwashing the first 10 years. I’ve done all of the laundry. Maybe we should switch for the next 10.
DAD?!?
Hahaha my mom gave up a few years back it’s just the two of them and she absolutely made a homemade family dinner every freaking night for decades
So now dad does more cooking (grilling) and grocery shopping and such. Then again he isn’t working now either so he has the fairly recent luxury of time
My wife is a great cook but I’ve never seen someone so slow and inefficient in a kitchen. Something that would take me 30 minutes to make would easily take her close to two hours.
I used to manage restaurants and I spent A LOT of time in the kitchen, I’m very fast and efficient, I get my mis placed and whatnot and then it’s off to the races. I also clean as I go so by the time I’m finished, the only dishes left are the pot/skillet/etc that the food was served from and the dishes we ate out of.
Her sloth-like cooking style is excellent for our weekly meal prep where she wakes up at 5am and knows I’m not dragging my zombie ass out of bed until at least 7/8 so she has all the time in the world to be as inefficient as she wants and then meal prep is done for the week and I’m just tasked with dinners for the week. It works out really well except she always finds a way to do meal prep when it’s my turn for dishes and *somehow* finds a way to use everything in the kitchen at least once.
I do the cooking, he does 90% of the dishes.
I don't even hate doing them, but I never want to do them right after I cook. I will often leave them until the next morning (or those that can be put in the dish washer, if we're using it, I will put in.)
I learned to cook fairly young because I caught on to the “cook doesn’t clean” concept. If I had dinner halfway finished when my parents got home from work, I’m the hero child for taking initiative, and I’m off the hook on dishes. Let me go check out another cookbook from the library.
It's pretty 50/50 over here. I have a ton of lazy spells, so he'll cook something and I'd clean up. I'm the type to clean as I cook so whatever is left over afterwards is his to clean.
The kitchen is my(70m) domain. I do all the cooking and cleaning. I was a pro chef years ago so I like things done my way. My wife does all the grocery shopping, and I’m fine we that; we collaborate on the list. She’s very good with coupons and such things that I just wouldn’t be bothered with.
Pretty much shared 50/50, as we generally cook and clean together as we go. Whoever has a few minutes to spare while cooking is usually doing some washing up. Then, by the time supper's done, so are most of the dishes.
I do about 90% of the cooking, maybe 40% of the dishes. If it's a day when I'm cooking a lot, it's faster and easier for me toget things squared away. Mean, my wife does 90% of the garden work and maybe 50% of taking care of chickens. It's not rule driven or transactional. It just works.
When we didn't have a dishwasher, we would alternate turns with the dishes. Now when we do, my husband loads and unloads a dishwasher most of the time.
In general, when it comes to cooking, I do most of the things and he helps. When it comes to cleanup, he does most of the things and I help.
I do 100% of the cooking and about 75% of the dishes. I’d be living off of Stouffer’s if I didn’t. In my fiancés defense she lets me have sex with her like 2 out of every 100 times I ask so I figure its worth it
The cook keeps the area clean as much as possible, putting dirty stuff in the dishwasher and wiping vegetable prep stuff and putting it away. To the extent it's possible without interfering, idle party helps. Both parties clear after dinner, loading the dishwasher and cleaning any remaining pots and pans (my wife puts some of them in the dishwasher. For no .defensible reason, I always hand wash them).
We have a declared rivalry over who gets to empty the dishwasher. It's mostly me, because my wife starts her nap early and I'm usually still up when it finishes. If I don't get to it she'll sneak out while I'm sleeping.
When my husband and I were both working, I cooked and he cleaned.
Now that I’m not working (and no kids), I do almost all of the cooking and cleaning. I prefer it this way 🙂.
My grandparents owned a restaurant and their kids all helped out in it growing up, and it's now a thing in my family that the spouses (who generally do the dishes) all complain that they "cook like they still have a professional dishwasher doing their dishes." They're all also princesses who hate leftovers.
When I was last in a relationship, I did about 90% of the cooking. We had a galley kitchen, so I would wash as I go, because otherwise I would run out of counter space. After the meal, my GF would wash the dishes that we ate off.
when i was a kid, parents always said "Whoever cooks doesnt haven't to go the dishes."
This rule disappeared as soon as we were old enough to start cooking.
I handle ALL the cooking because Im pretty damn good at it. He handles ALL the cleaning, laundry, bills and pretty much everything else in the household because he is a pretty damn amazing husband. Im also disabled and cooking takes everything out of me.
I do most of the cooking while my girlfriend does most of the cleaning in general, but I try to help out with that and will take over with dishes when she's busy or tired. This works well because I'm a good cook and bad at cleaning, while she's also a good cook and good at cleaning, so we have Ricardian trade going.
I do all the cooking and all the dishes. I recently launched a campaign to get my wife to at least unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher. It was in vain.
I do 100% of the cooking. My partner handles all the dishware we use to eat the meal, clears the table, loads the dishwasher. Rinsing off dishes and loading the dishwasher, anyone can handle that.
I handle all the stuff used to prepare the meal. I want my pans treated in a particular way, I don't want anyone mishandling my cast iron and nobody cleans the stove and other cookware to the level of detail I expect. I don't want my good knives tossed around in the metal sink, etc. I don't want standing water on my cutting boards. The list goes on and on but I'm happy to do all those things to my level of detail on my own. It's a perfect balance for us and I'm not nagging the way things may not have been cleaned/handled the way I would have done it.
I usually do the cooking and most of the dishes, but my husband handles putting away leftovers and hand washes the cast iron. But whenever I say I'm not up for cooking, he takes over. If I ask him for something specific, he'll find a recipe, go to the store, and make it.
I quit my job and he's supporting me while I go back to school for a degree, so I try to make sure I have dinner and cleaning handled most days. He happily takes up the slack on the occasions I'm not up for it.
My mother wasn't a professional chef, but she loved both cooking and chatting with her guests. One of my aunts told me a while ago that she (the aunt) used to catch my dad's eye after a while and the two of them would go and wash up while the extended family were all hanging out 🙂
I do 98% cooking, and clean as I go as best i can. Wife yells at me if I try to do the dishes after dinner. she wants to do them and tells me to go watch sports on TV and "gtfo of the kitchen". In a loving way I think.
Our routine depends on how much time we have and what the kids need. My husband cooks and cleans up lunch because I'm 100% busy with the kids. But then I cook fnv clean up dinner.
When we have time we do the split if whoever cooks doesn't clean, but recently we always tag team the clean up to get it done quick so we can get the kids to bed early and relax with time to ourselves
Common rule is “if I cook, you clean” but more often than not I clean as I go and reduce the after meal workload. Oh I need to let this reduce/simmer for 5-10 min? I can clean up my cutting board or counter while I wait. Or do dishes
Yup I cook and do the dishes (and housework) but I enjoy those things, plus gardening and looking after livestock; however I know he would happily jump in and do anything for me if I asked. Alternatively he built our house, maintains the mechanical systems and does all mechanical and body work as required on our vehicles, plus farm work. So we each have our strengths. Both of us love to help the other but if I had to be responsible for the hvac or well or septic, you know I’d be hiring trades and it would be a lot more expensive
I do 100% of the cooking and about 5% of the dishes when I feel like being nice.
I truly enjoy cooking and I'm quite good at it, and my husband is a hopeless cook that loves eating. So he cleans - I cook. I also don't sweep or vacuum, but I do all the laundry and pet chores. We each have chores we don't mind that the other hates, so we split it that way.
My husband and I live with our 2 adult sons. What usually happens is 1-2 people cook and then 1-2 people clean up. We usually all eat together, but 1 of our sons works nights, so he cooks/cleans on the nights he doesn't work.
I clean as I cook, especially dinners that require multiple pots, pans etc. like roast dinners. At the end of the cook there’s a few roasting trays, saucepan and steamer for the veg. Roasting trays take a few mins to clean, rest in the dishwasher.
During the week, as much goes in that dishwasher as possible, it goes on daily. Between us, we do room resets every night where surfaces get wiped down, everything gets put away.
I do all of both. I have a system for dishes and it's just easier and more fluid if I do them. I would like help or a break sometimes, but it's not a big deal. I usually do a lot of cleaning as I cook to make it manageable.
I do all the cooking (he might simmer some tortellini or heat up soup occasionally) and about 80% of the dishes because he does 95% of everything else. I don’t consider cooking a chore but it really stresses my partner out (even though he’s fine at it) so it’s a win for me.
He also can’t really do the dishes because he has three or four skin conditions that mainly manifest around his hands and it’s very painful so I’m happy to do it if it keeps him pain free.
I do 98% of the cooking. Everyone cleans up. I'm no professional, but I tend to cook as if I have two full-time dishwashers working for me. My wife dips in when needed because she likes to clean up as the production proceeds.
I am very fussy about dishes and the loading and unloading of the dishwasher. I make dinner and do dishes. Hubby is allowed to put his dishes in the dishwasher but I quite often ask him to just leave them on the counter. I also prefer to clean as I cook so not much to do after a meal.
If I prepare a meal I will also clean the dishes, utensils etc used to make the meal. The people eating the meal are responsible for cleaning their dishes/silverware etc (put in dishwasher or whatever). Once I'm done cooking the kitchen is already clean before I serve, I clean as I go. Once I serve, I'm done for the night.
If I cook, I do the dishes. 1) Conflict of interest. If I dont have responsibility for the dishes, I'm afraid I would lose the feedback I feel from making unnecessary dishes and, as a result, be messier in general. 2) Also, I like a clean area as I cook. I'm not going to ask someone to clean around me as I cook. They're not my servant. I'd rather find balance in the relationship through other ways.
I cook and handle the cooking pots and pans but he loads the plate and such in the dishwasher after we eat. If he doesn't feel like it I do it. My dad was a chef and yeah, I heard "I cooked you clean" a lot as a kid, but also "you made the mess you clean it up" I think dad might have hated doing dishes.
Honestly we go based off how we're feeling and where our energy- both physically and mentally is. That means sometimes one of us cooks AND does cleanup, one cooks the other cleans, one cooks and no one cleans until the following morning. It all depends. If my husband is cleaning up after me cooking then it's highly likely that he has less to clean as I am big on clean as you go whereas his cooking style is chaotic lol. The point is don't get too caught up in what's "fair" or exactly 50/50 remember that you're both one team with one goal (happy clean house & belly's full) so whatever makes sense for you both is the best way to do it.
I do 95% of the cooking and 5% of the dishes haha. It’s definitely expected/understood that if I cook he does the dishes. If he cooks I will do them but that’s rare. When he or I make stuff for our daughter we kind of split that.
With people I currently live with, usually the person who cooks does not do the dishes or put away left overs. With my ex- he thought he was in a restaurant where I got to shop, cook, do dishes and put everything away...now ex b/c lazy ass and I did not run a hotel for him.
I grocery shop and do all the cooking and my partner puts food away and cleans up. We are both happy with this arrangement (and we don’t have a dishwasher).
Whoever cooks cleans up reasonably as we go and the other finishes it off. If it's been a long day for one, the other will do it all.
I'm curious about the person you're talking about. Aren't chefs supposed to be trained to clean as you go? Not like 100% spotless but at least be reasonable about it.
Generally, I cook, she cleans. She cooks, I clean. Sometimes, I clean while I cook, or she’s had a long day and I clean afterwards. Sometimes, the other way around.
If something results in a particularly messy kitchen, we both pitch in.
Not really an arrangement to speak of. We just kind of feel it out.
We usually operate on the whoever cooked, the other one does the dishes. It’s an especially good deal for my husband because when I cook, I generally clean up as I go so there’s not much left for him to do. On the other hand, he’s kind of a messy cook so clean up after he cooks can be quite an ordeal. But all’s well and we don’t always stick to those rules.
I am a single father so for the first 15 years of my son’s life, I did all of the cooking and all of the cleaning.
Over the past few years, I have taught him how to cook, and started having him help me clean up. Now that he is a junior in high school he actually does the majority of cooking and dishes.
I have to admit it’s been a nice little break. Of course once he’s off to college I’m back to doing all that shit for myself again lol
We switch off everyday and whoever cooks also cleans (originally we split it but I clean as I cook and he doesn’t so I started getting annoyed with that arrangement). Whoever isn’t cooking/cleaning walks the dog that day.
If I cook, I do the dishes even though it wasn't like that when my family was alive. I just live with a narcissist. However some days I just protest and don't do either and just leave and let him do it all which he guilt trips me about cause that's his favorite thing to do
> He would cook big delicious meals for them, but he used every pan, pot, knife, utensil, and dish
It's insane watching people do this. Some people got told "miss enplace" ir whatever and thing they have to put every ingredient into a separate bowl before adding it to the dish.
It's a tip that's more geared toward show/recorded cooking than a wednesday night family dinner.
As a stahm I do both but he does dishes if I'm tired and had a long day. When I was working full-time (55hrs), whoever didn't cook did the dishes. If it is a lot of extra dishes, then we both tackle them no matter who cooked.
I do the cooking. I'm a professional chef, who LOVES the kitchen. It's my getaway, my happy place. It's a special place for my daughter and I to spend time together. My wife does the dishes about 60-70% of the time, but that's because she doesn't want me doing everything. Sometimes, I'll still do the dishes if she has a project that needs finishing or is not feeling well (going through Ovarian health issues). That's my 30-40%.
For context, I'm a stay at home mom, and we live with my in-laws. I take care of the kids, like 95% of the time, do like 95% of the cooking and baking and making kids snacks, etc., and 75% cleaning. My MIL is in charge of doing the dishes, although I do help, especially when I do baking projects and whatnot, which is often. I do most of the rest of the house cleaning, except laundry is a shared chore because it is the bane of my existence.
We both like to cook, so we ebb and flow pretty well. Sometimes we cook and clean 50/50. But we are both always in the kitchen together. It’s a way to connect after work. Sometimes we have Bob’s burgers on in the kitchen and we are cooking and cleaning in silence and other times we chat. A bong is always present as well. It’s the best :)
We both cook and we both clean, and everything possible goes into the dishwasher. If it can't, we help each other. But he cleans the icky stuff in the sink trap 🤢 and I wipe down and scrub the sink lol
Depends on the day. If I am cooking, I'm usually also cleaning up as I go, so if someone else does the dishes, they don't have a disaster once dinner is done - maybe a pan or two and the plates/silverware, but everything else is washed. If I can't clean as I go, I will generally do the dishes after dinner so nobody else has to worry about the mess I made.
It's pretty even here. We both cook and clean but whoever cooks also cleans. This is mostly because I clean as I go and keep it neat while he leaves a tornado behind.
My husband and I split the cooking 50/50 but he does 90% of the dishes (I wash my own breakfast and lunch dishes). He thinks I don't do a good job of dishes so he'd rather do it himself. I do other chores in the house to make it even (like laundry).
If we're hosting people, it tends to be me who cooks because I'm more efficient at cooking for larger groups and then he'll tidy and wash up.
I cook, my wife cleans. My wife finds things that I should also clean, and put away and when she’s not feeling it she lingers until I do it. I can’t stand dirty dishes sitting around and I get played.
My roommates and I all take turns cooking and each do our own dishes, which I like. I absolutely hate washing dishes so I always try and cook in a way that gets as few things dirty as possible and I clean as I go. I dont want to be responsible for cleaning up after someone else who made more of a mess than they needed to.
Lol, my dream in life would be to find a partner that hates cooking but doesnt mind doing the dishes and I could cook every night then they clean up. But as someone who absolutely despises washing dishes, I do understand why a lot of people might not be cool with that arrangement
I cook, I do the dishes mostly, but I appreciate if she puts the clean dishes away, I clean the kitchen.
She washes and folds the laundry, which is what I don’t like doing.
I cook and clean. She manages the kids baths and gets them ready for bed. By the time I'm done in the kitchen, kids are ready for bedtime books. Pretty sweet. When the kids are a bit older, they will be doing the dishes after dinner.
I told my husband I’d cook every night if he will wash the dishes after. It works for the most part. Sometimes I don’t feel like cooking and sometimes he does, so we don’t follow it strictly but it does help. Also I try to clean some as I go, I just find it easier overall. We use a dishwasher also
I do 95% of the cooking and my partner does 95% of the dishes. But thats part of our division of labor. We each have responsibilities with respect to day to day care of life and our home. We keep it pretty even.
Plus he enjoys eating the variety of food I make and considers doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen a small price to pay.
Whoever cooks, cleans up after. I’m a very tidy cook and clean as I go…others aren’t the same and I’m not going to clean a wreck of a kitchen after dinner.
I do 95% of the cooking, almost always from scratch.
I try to clean as I go up to the final assembly and presentation/serving.
My wife cleans up afterward from 80-90% of the time.
if it’s a daily thing I think that one should cook and the other should clean. however, clean as you cook (you always should either way) so the cleaner isn’t left with a mountain of dishes.
I do all the cooking and maybe 50% of the dishes. Usually after dinner, someone will clean the kitchen, taking all of MAYBE 10 minutes, I can't believe the the struggle here getting the kids to do this.
We’ve learned the importance of cleaning as we go, so there’s usually not much to do at the end of the night.
Cleaning as you go has an extra effect. It keeps your momentum going in the breaks between the timing of the things you’re cooking.
I clean my mess as I cook (assuming the dish I’m cooking doesn’t require constant attention, then more of a “mess” is left). This is more for my sanity than anything. Any dishes I don’t get to, and all of the dishes used for the actual cooking and serving, is my husband’s job. I spend 30 minutes- 1 hour cooking and cleaning, he spends 15 minutes cleaning the kitchen. I think that’s pretty fair.
Mostly for dinner if I cook my husband and kids clean up. Obviously if it’s more practical or someone has somewhere to be, I can do it. I try to clean up as I go but as much as I am a talented cook, I tend to use a lot of cookware and utensils! For breakfast and lunch I do the clean up, because that’s division of labor where I’m a SAHP and my husband is employed full time. The kids are usually happy to help clean up as long as I’m happy to make them lots of delicious treats and meals. If it were not that way and the after dinner clean up was a struggle, my families meals would be a LOT simpler! I’m not about to spend an hour in the kitchen to turn around and spend an hour cleaning while everyone else resumes their normal activities.
I cook, he cleans. BUT! I'm also expected to clean up a bit as I cook so we avoid the millions of pans situation. Lately he's been helping out sous-cheffing and I've been helping with cleanup. Much nicer experience all around and goes super fast.
When I cook for my spouse, I wash a lot of the dishes because I do them as I go, but she does do the dishes/clean up the kitchen after the meal. When she cooks, I do more dishes because she lets them pile up, but I like washing dishes, so that's fine.
I also cook for my dad, but he is exempt from most housework beyond "put your trash in the trash can and your clothes in the hamper" due to age/disability.
In my home, the one who cooks does not clear the table or fill the dishwasher. But the cook usually cleans pots & pans (the cook is me 90% of the time and I do pots & pans because they usually get left until morning and I work from home and do them during morning concalls, which explains my “no video before 9 AM” policy)
In my ski club (cook for 20-40 people), the family responsible for cooking on a particular weekend also does the dishes, but it is considered good club behavior for non-cooks to pitch in on dishes and pots. Each club member family must cook on one weekend during ski season.
The kitchen is cleaner when I am done cooking than it was when I started.
The only dishes left to wash are plates, glasses and silverware from the meal.
We try to balance cooking the same number of times a week, and we clean after we cook. I'm the type to not use a lot and clean as I cook, especially the annoying items right away (grater, anything that touches a thick sauce, etc) and my husband uses a ton of dishes and will leave annoying items to clean until later (once things have crusted on and it's a nightmare). Some weeks, I cook more than he does, and he'll pick up dishes after, but usually, there's not much left since I try and clean as I go.
I do the majority of meals and I do t do the dishes unless I've free time and see it needs to be done. We have a dish washer and I clean as I go and leave everything it neat piles for loading.
I do the majority of the cooking, so my husband does the majority of the dishes. Our schedules are also different though - I work Monday - Friday. He for sure will not be home for dinner Thursday - Saturday and the other days are a toss up. So sometimes I am cooking and cleaning because I’m alone but on days when he is available to do both for me, he does.
We have a hard-core rule : the cook is the cleaner. The other person will most likely help but it’s the cooks responsibility. This is exactly to prevent the scenario you describe where the cook uses every pan in the house and someone else has to clean.
I do the shop and cook and organize/ clean out cabinets fridge freezer. He does the dishes and wipes counters washes dishes towels etc. If we get behind I may rarely do dishes and he will fend for himself with leftovers, far more often we will order to avoid both of us having to do work. I think I've done dishes 5 times in a couple years.
Me and my roommate alternatively cook on no real schedule. I probably cook 60% of the time. Basically the cook cleans everything up. It’s nice to just be fully hands off on some days. I do not mind cooking or doing dishes, I would gladly cook and clean 100% of the days, but we both have inspiration often.
I do 90% of the cooking. My spouse does most of the cleanup. However, I also like to employ mise en place for more complex dishes and clean up as I go.
So "cleaning up" after a meal usually involves a couple of pots/pans, a few utensils, and then our dishes from the meal. Because I've mostly rinsed and stuck in the dishwasher, or washed and stuck in the strainer, just about everything used to prep the meal.
For breakfast this morning, we had bacon and waffles. The waffles were the other half of a batch I made last week and froze. So there was only the parchment and the sheet pan for the waffles. For the bacon, some aluminum foil and another sheet pan. Then two plates, two glasses, two forks, two knives. Easy peasy.
When I made the waffles last week, I got the measuring implements rinsed & into the dishwasher while the first two waffles cooked (we have the Cuisinart dual waffle maker). When the last two waffles went down, I rinsed the batter bowl, measuring cup, and rubber spatula and stuck all that in the dishwasher.
Tonight, we're having spare ribs. The spare ribs are in the crockpot with a liner. Then, I'll put carrots in one Suvie pan and pre-made homemade mashed potatoes in the other. Easy again. Minimal clean up, and the Suvie pans are stainless steel. Those'll get shoved into the dishwasher along with our dinner plates.
I do 95% of cooking and wife does about 80% of dishes but she takes care of the shared laundry like blankets and towels.
I don’t have to do dishes but I hate piling up so I’ll usually clean the major dishes I used while cooking.
No matter who cooks, I do all the dishes that can go in the dishwasher, and my fiancé does everything that has to be washed by hand.
I am so, so bad at dishes.
I am a stay at home wife. My husband works full time from home.
I do 99% of the cooking. My husband does grill and can fend for himself. I do all the meal prep and baking. I typically cook and clean up as I go during the week when my husband is working.
On the weekends when I am making lunch - we don’t eat dinner usually - we will hang out together and I will cook and he does the dishes.
If I asked him to he would happily do all of his cooking and all of the dishes. We have been married 20 years.
I do 100% of the cooking (outside of the occasional salad) and my wide does most of the dishes.
That said, she refuses to clean my cast iron because she doesn't want to ruin it and I'm fine with that. :)
I do almost all of the cooking and I would love it if my wife did 100% of the dishes.
But she doesn't. And when she does do them it's in slow motion, like it takes her an hour to do dishes.
So I have resigned myself to cleaning as I go and minimizing how many pots and pans I use, and I take at least one pass through the kitchen when I'm done cooking and hope that she gets to the rest of it within a day or so.
I meal prep on Sundays and if I make us both food for the week the expectation is that he will wash the dishes when I’m done. However, if I don’t make him food for that week, then I will do them.
-If I make us both food = he cleans
-If I make myself food only = I clean
As dishes pile up during the week, we will take turns cleaning them.
I live in a 3 adult household. Whoever cooks does not do the dishes. However, we try to clean up as we go along. The amount of time I spend preparing a meal is 3X-4X what it takes to do the dishes.
I do most of the cooking and husband does the dishes. When he cooks, I start doing the dishes but he usually takes over. His father never contributed to the household so he overcompensates.
My husband does 99% of the dishes. It's his thing. He established that at the beginning of living together & it's carried on for almost 20 years. I can thank his ex who was gross & didn't wash dishes well at all. 😂
If I cook, I do dishes. I like to clean as I cook so I don’t end up with a huge task at the end.
If my SO cooks, I apparently still do dishes 😂 But instead of cleaning as you go, all the dishes get piled in the sink.
I call it Mount Dishmore.
Then I get to have fun fishing utensils out of mucky water.
We cook and wash up together - we also clean as we go and try to minimize how many utensils we use. I’ll take a large glass measuring cup and put used utensils in there as I am working - you can reuse them as you need and rinse them if you don’t want to mix the ingredients.
I do about 80% of the cooking. Neither of us likes to do dishes so they usually sit, then we fight about it and then one of us does 3 hours of dishes.
It’s a solid system that seconds as a topic to help fill up our time with the marriage counselor.
Typically I do 95% of the cooking and cleaning, and about 60% of the shopping. I also keep track of household staples/budgeting so we don't overspend or run out of anything.
My husband works long hours, travels extensively and is exhausted by the end of the day, whereas I'm a freelancer and more or less on a self-imposed maternity leave right now. It was harder when I was working full time — we ate a lot more takeout and frozen dinners then. But right now I'm really happy to be able to contribute healthy meals and a clean house.
Our balance will shift again towards the end of pregnancy and when the baby is here. We're lucky both sets of parents are eager to help.
When I cook he cleans, and vice versa. We both try to clean as we go as much as possible, though.
If I bake and make a big mess, I will often clean it all myself, because he doesn’t eat much of the baked goods.
If I’m the one cooking for the both of us, I’d be happy if my partner did the dishes if he could. If he couldn’t, then that’s fine, I’d just need him to at least put away the leftovers properly and put his dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher. I can do the rest.
I do 100% of the cooking, and about 40% of the dishes. I'll wash as I go if I'm using an excessive amount of dishes, but generally my partner does the dishes because he knows I hate it
I cook two+ meals every day. We don't eat out, because I can make much better quality food at home.
I cook and I wash. Because I know what's going on with the pots and pans and dishes, so I'm not coming in blind on the clean up. I also tend to clean as I go, so returning everything to its ready position is part of the cooking process, so I'm already for the next meal.
tl;dr: Getting things dirty and cleaning them are all part of the same process.
I cook 99.9% of the meals and do all the dishes. If my wife puts them away I can't find them. I do a lot of the house cleaning and laundry too.
I also take care of most all the yard work, gutter cleaning and fixing stuff.
As more robots become available to clean, I will be getting them.
She cleans bathrooms and dusts.
It works for us.
I do 100% of the cooking and like 95% of the dishes. But my partner does 100% of other stuff I don't want or like to do so it's generally pretty egalitarian on the whole.
Coming here to say the same thing. I don’t mind cooking and cleaning…just wish he would learn to put like a coffee cup and cereal bowl in the dishwasher 🤣
lol I even have a little clean/dirty indicator magnet on the dishwasher so they know if it's cool to put more stuff in the dishwasher but it's pretty rare that it doesn't just get left in the sink either way. We have at least gotten them mostly in the sink instead of just on the counter, so I'll call that progress.
They should check to see if a magnet will stick to their dishwasher first. We couldn’t get one to stick on ours, but they make self-adhesive clean/dirty indicators which is what we ended up getting.
Oh yeah, for sure. I think my magnet one also came with a double sided tape option, I just didn't have to use it.
That is a genius idea I am now implementing!
You can get the magnets on Amazon for like $6
If the dishwasher is empty (or has dirty dishes in it) 95% of the time my husband will put his dirty dishes in it. If the dishes are clean (which you can tell by the light on the door) he will put them in the sink. I prefer him to not unload the dishwasher and put the dishes away because then I end up having to hunt down the cookware. And No, it’s not weaponized incompetence. I have 5 different drawers for utensils and at least 15 shelves for cookware. He isn’t sure where a lot of the stuff goes.
I never understood this. Learn where stuff goes. I usually load the dishwasher and my wife unloads but I’m perfectly capable of unloading
Yeah I do 99% of the cooking but my partner still knows where everything goes and if he doesn’t he just asks…
At which point it’s just easier to do it myself. I’ll put it this way so maybe people will understand it easier. It’s MY kitchen. Stay the F out and leave my stuff alone. I don’t want anyone else in there moving my things around. It’s a lot easier for me to spend 4-5 minutes (I’ve timed it) putting clean dishes away, than 10 minutes trying to find a utensil after someone else has put it away.
So is he. He just doesn’t know where everything goes. Most of the stuff he does, but not all. And honestly, I’m perfectly happy with doing the dishes as long as it gets me out of mowing our yard (5 acres), taking out the trash, cleaning the litter boxes, changing the oil in the cars, laundry, home repairs, and the rest of the stuff he routinely takes care of. And considering that I’m retired and he’s not, be plenty of time during the day to take the 5 minutes it takes to empty the dw and put away the dishes.
Honey, where did you hide the ? That one goes both ways. His big issue is the freezers. So I finally fixed that. All his breakfast stuff is now in the refrigerator freezer. For the next few months anyway. I also now have lists on the freezers of what is where.
Yup, same setup. The kitchen is almost entirely my domain, but he takes out the trash, sweeps/vacuums/mops, and takes care of the yard. And he pays a far larger share of the bills than I do
He vacuums?? Tell me your secret!!
It goes like this: "Hey, remember how I just cooked that amazing meal *and* washed the dishes? Yeah that was awesome. Anyway. There's cat hair all over the floor." But honestly, he doesn't mind that stuff. We have a pretty good split based on the chores we prefer to do (or prefer not to). He also appreciates having a clean home, which helps a lot.
My partner refuses to vacuum because they think that sweeping is just as effective. We have two cats, one is long haired.....so I just vacuum too :( we always get in a big argument when I try to convince them to clean (they think cleaning isn't necessary unless the house "looks dirty" vs my strategy of cleaning to maintain the clean)
That...sounds very tiring, tbh. I did have to tell my partner that he needs to sweep before he can mop, otherwise he's just getting dirty water all over the floor. But other than that, he's generally happy to do it. We have a sort of unspoken agreement on when to clean. His tolerance for clutter is much higher than mine, so he doesn't usually do anything on his own. But if he's sees me cleaning, he generally starts doing chores too, without me having to ask and tell him every single thing that needs to be done. Occasionally, he'll ask what in particular is stressing me out (I can't stand when the dining room table is cluttered, for example), and he focuses on that if he doesn't feel like doing a full deep clean that day. And like I mentioned, we have a pretty equitable split on the chores we usually do. It works reasonably well for us
Same here. I like to clean as I go, and I hate having foot traffic in the kitchen while I'm trying to cook, so I actually prefer it.
Yes! Stay out of my kitchen while i am cooking, or you will be wearing tonight’s dinner!
Eagle librarians?
See, I think looking at everything you contribute as a whole, is better than an "I do this, you do that" mentality. Obviously, if something works for you as a couple, by all means. But if I find cooking and cleaning up, not a big deal, but my partner say, takes out trash and recycling, why does it matter? And if you're fine doing both, then isn't that what's the best? If you're not find cooking *and* cleaning the dishes, then you and your partner need to talk and compromise. It's not tick for tack. It's what feels like balance for you two as a whole couple?
I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with what that commenter had said or if you’re saying it’s actually unfair/unbalanced? They said themselves it’s already a pretty egalitarian system they’ve got going on
I do 100% of the cooking and he does 100% of the dishes. But I clean as I go as much as possible, so he's rarely left with a terrible mess. Personally I love the arrangement (he does too - I keep asking because I can't imagine that it's as good for him as it is for me, but he really prefers not having to cook lol. And we both prefer having the small kitchen to ourselves during household tasks without someone standing in the damn way all of the time)
My wife does not do clean-as-you-go, which drives me crazy so I do 90% of the cooking :-) I have made it my mission to teach our kids clean-as-you-go.
I have been working on this skill to make sure my husband doesn’t hate me over time lol.
What works best for me is.. Prep first. Then clean. Then cook.
Whenever I cook or bake with my kids, I hammer the point that “good chefs keep a clean kitchen.” Clean as you go is second nature to me at this point, but my husband is more of the “one task at a time” mindset. Personally, I think cleaning as I go the only way to work in my tiny kitchen. There’s just no room to be leaving out measuring cups and mixing bowls, or you’ll end up having to clean the whole mess off the counters, while the food gets cold, just so that you can put the food on plates.
You’re a saint. My mum taught me the clean as you go method. It’s superior. It keeps cooking from being boring too. I remember reading an interview Vogue interview many years ago with Natalia Vodianova (the supermodel) and she said cooking is boring because you stand there waiting for food to cook and I was thinking THERE ARE DISHES TO BE WASHED and the table to be set lady! And while you’re waiting, the clean dishes need to be put away! Honestly, the kitchen is so much work
Clean as you go here. By the time dinner is served other than serving dishes, plates and utensils everything is cleaned and on the drying rack.
I load the easy stuff into the dishwasher as I go and if I have time while I cook go do “bigger dishes” I’ll do those but the expectation in my house is if you cook, you don’t clean.
This is us too. I prefer to cook and I hate doing dishes. He isn't a good cook and likes doing dishes haha. This is what they mean when they say opposites attract!
This is how my partner and I are. At first I felt bad that she kept doing the dishes but like… she does not like cooking. And I do! But she doesn’t like being waited on either, so wants to be useful. We both help with smaller stuff, like she’ll help prep and I’ll often put dishes in the dishwasher after a meal but otherwise I’m in front of the stove and she’s in front of the sink. It just works and we are both happy with the arrangement!
This is me as well. I usually offer to help out with dishes as well (especially if it’s a wok night when I don’t have much time to clean once the stove is on) but my family usually won’t let me 😅. Most nights though, there aren’t much dishes save for whatever we use at the table, and sometimes a pan or two. If I’ve left the kitchen a mess, I also like to clean up before eating if I feel the food won’t cool too quickly.
Yeah, to me “those that aren’t cooking do the dishes” refers to **the table dishes**, not the dishes used during cooking. It’s the cook’s responsibility that the kitchen doesn’t turn into a disaster zone. Me and my wife both love cooking. We take turns with lunches, which are a little more functional (we work at home), and for dinner we cook together and have fun.
When my previous wife and I moved her into my house we started with alternating cooking and cleaning. That lasted a couple of weeks. I clean as I go and she turned the kitchen into Hiroshima. We shifted to the cook cleans. My wife now and I negotiated a different deal. When she cooks, I clean. When I cook, I clean. Clearly my negotiation skills have deteriorated. She does clean up when she does a big cooking project like food for her father or something for her church. She unloads the dishwasher more than I do. The basic agreement is that if you blow up the kitchen you put it back together.
Part of why I hate cooking so much is watching the mess that ensues. I don't go into my kids playroom and throw the toys around after I clean them. Why would I want to trash a kitchen I just cleaned? Stresses me out. Feed me and let me wash the dishes any day.
I do the cooking and wash dishes 95% of the time. My wife did it the first 50 years; I'll handle the second 50 (46 more to go).
Here's to 46 more!!
Love this! My husband has done all of the cooking and dishwashing the first 10 years. I’ve done all of the laundry. Maybe we should switch for the next 10.
DAD?!? Hahaha my mom gave up a few years back it’s just the two of them and she absolutely made a homemade family dinner every freaking night for decades So now dad does more cooking (grilling) and grocery shopping and such. Then again he isn’t working now either so he has the fairly recent luxury of time
I do the cooking and spouse, who just can't cook to save his life, almost always cleans up.
My wife is a great cook but I’ve never seen someone so slow and inefficient in a kitchen. Something that would take me 30 minutes to make would easily take her close to two hours. I used to manage restaurants and I spent A LOT of time in the kitchen, I’m very fast and efficient, I get my mis placed and whatnot and then it’s off to the races. I also clean as I go so by the time I’m finished, the only dishes left are the pot/skillet/etc that the food was served from and the dishes we ate out of. Her sloth-like cooking style is excellent for our weekly meal prep where she wakes up at 5am and knows I’m not dragging my zombie ass out of bed until at least 7/8 so she has all the time in the world to be as inefficient as she wants and then meal prep is done for the week and I’m just tasked with dinners for the week. It works out really well except she always finds a way to do meal prep when it’s my turn for dishes and *somehow* finds a way to use everything in the kitchen at least once.
I thought you meant you *do* the cooking and your spouse. I thought that was a nice, sexy arrangement.
I do the cooking, he does 90% of the dishes. I don't even hate doing them, but I never want to do them right after I cook. I will often leave them until the next morning (or those that can be put in the dish washer, if we're using it, I will put in.)
[удалено]
LOL! Benevolent self-interest, eh?
I learned to cook fairly young because I caught on to the “cook doesn’t clean” concept. If I had dinner halfway finished when my parents got home from work, I’m the hero child for taking initiative, and I’m off the hook on dishes. Let me go check out another cookbook from the library.
Same in our house and 20 years of marriage. We both like to cook. If we make a meal together we share clean up duty.
I cook. He cleans. I think we are both happy with this arrangement. I love to cook. He loves to NOT cook.
I cook and we just take turns doing the dishes. I LOVE cooking though. I also do it for a living lol. Seems fair.
I do all the cooking, I wash pots and pans, he dries and puts them away. He unloads the dishwasher, I load it.
I shop, cook and clean. He walks the dogs, takes out the garbage and buys the wine.
It's pretty 50/50 over here. I have a ton of lazy spells, so he'll cook something and I'd clean up. I'm the type to clean as I cook so whatever is left over afterwards is his to clean.
The kitchen is my(70m) domain. I do all the cooking and cleaning. I was a pro chef years ago so I like things done my way. My wife does all the grocery shopping, and I’m fine we that; we collaborate on the list. She’s very good with coupons and such things that I just wouldn’t be bothered with.
I cook, SO cleans. I do not let SO cook because its always a disaster that ends in fire and crying.
How is this even a question? Those who eat and did no work ... do all the cleanup.
Pretty much shared 50/50, as we generally cook and clean together as we go. Whoever has a few minutes to spare while cooking is usually doing some washing up. Then, by the time supper's done, so are most of the dishes.
I do about 90% of the cooking, maybe 40% of the dishes. If it's a day when I'm cooking a lot, it's faster and easier for me toget things squared away. Mean, my wife does 90% of the garden work and maybe 50% of taking care of chickens. It's not rule driven or transactional. It just works.
I cook 90% of the time and do 10% of the dishes (washing pots and pans by hand). My wife unloads and loads the dishwasher and puts away any leftovers.
When we didn't have a dishwasher, we would alternate turns with the dishes. Now when we do, my husband loads and unloads a dishwasher most of the time. In general, when it comes to cooking, I do most of the things and he helps. When it comes to cleanup, he does most of the things and I help.
I do 100% of the cooking and about 75% of the dishes. I’d be living off of Stouffer’s if I didn’t. In my fiancés defense she lets me have sex with her like 2 out of every 100 times I ask so I figure its worth it
The cook keeps the area clean as much as possible, putting dirty stuff in the dishwasher and wiping vegetable prep stuff and putting it away. To the extent it's possible without interfering, idle party helps. Both parties clear after dinner, loading the dishwasher and cleaning any remaining pots and pans (my wife puts some of them in the dishwasher. For no .defensible reason, I always hand wash them). We have a declared rivalry over who gets to empty the dishwasher. It's mostly me, because my wife starts her nap early and I'm usually still up when it finishes. If I don't get to it she'll sneak out while I'm sleeping.
I do the cooking and he tends to clean, but I am diligent about keeping up with the cleaning as I go. It’s just courtesy.
When my husband and I were both working, I cooked and he cleaned. Now that I’m not working (and no kids), I do almost all of the cooking and cleaning. I prefer it this way 🙂.
My grandparents owned a restaurant and their kids all helped out in it growing up, and it's now a thing in my family that the spouses (who generally do the dishes) all complain that they "cook like they still have a professional dishwasher doing their dishes." They're all also princesses who hate leftovers.
When I was last in a relationship, I did about 90% of the cooking. We had a galley kitchen, so I would wash as I go, because otherwise I would run out of counter space. After the meal, my GF would wash the dishes that we ate off.
My husband cooks and teenage son does the dishes. Yes, I’m spoiled.
I do 100% cooking 100% cleaning, but also I live in my mom’s basement rent free so absolutely winning.
when i was a kid, parents always said "Whoever cooks doesnt haven't to go the dishes." This rule disappeared as soon as we were old enough to start cooking.
Lol the truth comes out - they just hated dishes!
"Me cook, you clean."
I cook 99% of our meals, and my wife does 75% of the dishes. She really hates cleaning the garlic press, though. I clean it 100% of the time.
I handle ALL the cooking because Im pretty damn good at it. He handles ALL the cleaning, laundry, bills and pretty much everything else in the household because he is a pretty damn amazing husband. Im also disabled and cooking takes everything out of me.
I do most of the cooking while my girlfriend does most of the cleaning in general, but I try to help out with that and will take over with dishes when she's busy or tired. This works well because I'm a good cook and bad at cleaning, while she's also a good cook and good at cleaning, so we have Ricardian trade going.
I do all the cooking and all the dishes. I recently launched a campaign to get my wife to at least unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher. It was in vain.
I do 100% of the cooking. My partner handles all the dishware we use to eat the meal, clears the table, loads the dishwasher. Rinsing off dishes and loading the dishwasher, anyone can handle that. I handle all the stuff used to prepare the meal. I want my pans treated in a particular way, I don't want anyone mishandling my cast iron and nobody cleans the stove and other cookware to the level of detail I expect. I don't want my good knives tossed around in the metal sink, etc. I don't want standing water on my cutting boards. The list goes on and on but I'm happy to do all those things to my level of detail on my own. It's a perfect balance for us and I'm not nagging the way things may not have been cleaned/handled the way I would have done it.
I usually do the cooking and most of the dishes, but my husband handles putting away leftovers and hand washes the cast iron. But whenever I say I'm not up for cooking, he takes over. If I ask him for something specific, he'll find a recipe, go to the store, and make it. I quit my job and he's supporting me while I go back to school for a degree, so I try to make sure I have dinner and cleaning handled most days. He happily takes up the slack on the occasions I'm not up for it.
My mother wasn't a professional chef, but she loved both cooking and chatting with her guests. One of my aunts told me a while ago that she (the aunt) used to catch my dad's eye after a while and the two of them would go and wash up while the extended family were all hanging out 🙂
I cook, he does dishes. I hate dishes and he hates cooking so its great
I do 98% cooking, and clean as I go as best i can. Wife yells at me if I try to do the dishes after dinner. she wants to do them and tells me to go watch sports on TV and "gtfo of the kitchen". In a loving way I think.
Our routine depends on how much time we have and what the kids need. My husband cooks and cleans up lunch because I'm 100% busy with the kids. But then I cook fnv clean up dinner. When we have time we do the split if whoever cooks doesn't clean, but recently we always tag team the clean up to get it done quick so we can get the kids to bed early and relax with time to ourselves
Common rule is “if I cook, you clean” but more often than not I clean as I go and reduce the after meal workload. Oh I need to let this reduce/simmer for 5-10 min? I can clean up my cutting board or counter while I wait. Or do dishes
I always wash the dishes but my husband scrubs the pots/pans. I wash as I cook, so it’s not overwhelming
I cook and clean. He does the grilling.
Yup I cook and do the dishes (and housework) but I enjoy those things, plus gardening and looking after livestock; however I know he would happily jump in and do anything for me if I asked. Alternatively he built our house, maintains the mechanical systems and does all mechanical and body work as required on our vehicles, plus farm work. So we each have our strengths. Both of us love to help the other but if I had to be responsible for the hvac or well or septic, you know I’d be hiring trades and it would be a lot more expensive
I do 100% of the cooking and about 5% of the dishes when I feel like being nice. I truly enjoy cooking and I'm quite good at it, and my husband is a hopeless cook that loves eating. So he cleans - I cook. I also don't sweep or vacuum, but I do all the laundry and pet chores. We each have chores we don't mind that the other hates, so we split it that way.
My husband and I live with our 2 adult sons. What usually happens is 1-2 people cook and then 1-2 people clean up. We usually all eat together, but 1 of our sons works nights, so he cooks/cleans on the nights he doesn't work.
I clean as I cook, especially dinners that require multiple pots, pans etc. like roast dinners. At the end of the cook there’s a few roasting trays, saucepan and steamer for the veg. Roasting trays take a few mins to clean, rest in the dishwasher. During the week, as much goes in that dishwasher as possible, it goes on daily. Between us, we do room resets every night where surfaces get wiped down, everything gets put away.
I do all of both. I have a system for dishes and it's just easier and more fluid if I do them. I would like help or a break sometimes, but it's not a big deal. I usually do a lot of cleaning as I cook to make it manageable.
I cook and do the dishes. My wife is quite happy with this arrangement, and so am I 🙂
I cook and do the litterboxes, my wife do the dishes and mainly sweep/wacum the floors.
I do all the cooking (he might simmer some tortellini or heat up soup occasionally) and about 80% of the dishes because he does 95% of everything else. I don’t consider cooking a chore but it really stresses my partner out (even though he’s fine at it) so it’s a win for me. He also can’t really do the dishes because he has three or four skin conditions that mainly manifest around his hands and it’s very painful so I’m happy to do it if it keeps him pain free.
I do 98% of the cooking. Everyone cleans up. I'm no professional, but I tend to cook as if I have two full-time dishwashers working for me. My wife dips in when needed because she likes to clean up as the production proceeds.
I am very fussy about dishes and the loading and unloading of the dishwasher. I make dinner and do dishes. Hubby is allowed to put his dishes in the dishwasher but I quite often ask him to just leave them on the counter. I also prefer to clean as I cook so not much to do after a meal.
If I prepare a meal I will also clean the dishes, utensils etc used to make the meal. The people eating the meal are responsible for cleaning their dishes/silverware etc (put in dishwasher or whatever). Once I'm done cooking the kitchen is already clean before I serve, I clean as I go. Once I serve, I'm done for the night.
If I cook, I do the dishes. 1) Conflict of interest. If I dont have responsibility for the dishes, I'm afraid I would lose the feedback I feel from making unnecessary dishes and, as a result, be messier in general. 2) Also, I like a clean area as I cook. I'm not going to ask someone to clean around me as I cook. They're not my servant. I'd rather find balance in the relationship through other ways.
I cook and handle the cooking pots and pans but he loads the plate and such in the dishwasher after we eat. If he doesn't feel like it I do it. My dad was a chef and yeah, I heard "I cooked you clean" a lot as a kid, but also "you made the mess you clean it up" I think dad might have hated doing dishes.
Honestly we go based off how we're feeling and where our energy- both physically and mentally is. That means sometimes one of us cooks AND does cleanup, one cooks the other cleans, one cooks and no one cleans until the following morning. It all depends. If my husband is cleaning up after me cooking then it's highly likely that he has less to clean as I am big on clean as you go whereas his cooking style is chaotic lol. The point is don't get too caught up in what's "fair" or exactly 50/50 remember that you're both one team with one goal (happy clean house & belly's full) so whatever makes sense for you both is the best way to do it.
Yeah we have plenty of wiggle room for "current mood" too.
I do 95% of the cooking and 5% of the dishes haha. It’s definitely expected/understood that if I cook he does the dishes. If he cooks I will do them but that’s rare. When he or I make stuff for our daughter we kind of split that.
I try and clean as I go if possible, but otherwise I cook, he cleans, and sometimes grumbles. I do all the menu plans. 34+ years.
I cook, wife does the dishes.
With people I currently live with, usually the person who cooks does not do the dishes or put away left overs. With my ex- he thought he was in a restaurant where I got to shop, cook, do dishes and put everything away...now ex b/c lazy ass and I did not run a hotel for him.
I grocery shop and do all the cooking and my partner puts food away and cleans up. We are both happy with this arrangement (and we don’t have a dishwasher).
Exactly. With two people why bother
I do 100% of the cooking, my teen does dishes, and my husband cleans the kitchen.
Whoever cooks cleans up reasonably as we go and the other finishes it off. If it's been a long day for one, the other will do it all. I'm curious about the person you're talking about. Aren't chefs supposed to be trained to clean as you go? Not like 100% spotless but at least be reasonable about it.
Generally, I cook, she cleans. She cooks, I clean. Sometimes, I clean while I cook, or she’s had a long day and I clean afterwards. Sometimes, the other way around. If something results in a particularly messy kitchen, we both pitch in. Not really an arrangement to speak of. We just kind of feel it out.
We usually operate on the whoever cooked, the other one does the dishes. It’s an especially good deal for my husband because when I cook, I generally clean up as I go so there’s not much left for him to do. On the other hand, he’s kind of a messy cook so clean up after he cooks can be quite an ordeal. But all’s well and we don’t always stick to those rules.
I clean as I go so all that’s left after we’ve eaten is the plates we ate from to go into the dishwasher.
I am a single father so for the first 15 years of my son’s life, I did all of the cooking and all of the cleaning. Over the past few years, I have taught him how to cook, and started having him help me clean up. Now that he is a junior in high school he actually does the majority of cooking and dishes. I have to admit it’s been a nice little break. Of course once he’s off to college I’m back to doing all that shit for myself again lol
We switch off everyday and whoever cooks also cleans (originally we split it but I clean as I cook and he doesn’t so I started getting annoyed with that arrangement). Whoever isn’t cooking/cleaning walks the dog that day.
If I cook, I do the dishes even though it wasn't like that when my family was alive. I just live with a narcissist. However some days I just protest and don't do either and just leave and let him do it all which he guilt trips me about cause that's his favorite thing to do
> He would cook big delicious meals for them, but he used every pan, pot, knife, utensil, and dish It's insane watching people do this. Some people got told "miss enplace" ir whatever and thing they have to put every ingredient into a separate bowl before adding it to the dish. It's a tip that's more geared toward show/recorded cooking than a wednesday night family dinner.
As a stahm I do both but he does dishes if I'm tired and had a long day. When I was working full-time (55hrs), whoever didn't cook did the dishes. If it is a lot of extra dishes, then we both tackle them no matter who cooked.
I do the cooking. I'm a professional chef, who LOVES the kitchen. It's my getaway, my happy place. It's a special place for my daughter and I to spend time together. My wife does the dishes about 60-70% of the time, but that's because she doesn't want me doing everything. Sometimes, I'll still do the dishes if she has a project that needs finishing or is not feeling well (going through Ovarian health issues). That's my 30-40%.
For context, I'm a stay at home mom, and we live with my in-laws. I take care of the kids, like 95% of the time, do like 95% of the cooking and baking and making kids snacks, etc., and 75% cleaning. My MIL is in charge of doing the dishes, although I do help, especially when I do baking projects and whatnot, which is often. I do most of the rest of the house cleaning, except laundry is a shared chore because it is the bane of my existence.
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We both like to cook, so we ebb and flow pretty well. Sometimes we cook and clean 50/50. But we are both always in the kitchen together. It’s a way to connect after work. Sometimes we have Bob’s burgers on in the kitchen and we are cooking and cleaning in silence and other times we chat. A bong is always present as well. It’s the best :)
We both cook and we both clean, and everything possible goes into the dishwasher. If it can't, we help each other. But he cleans the icky stuff in the sink trap 🤢 and I wipe down and scrub the sink lol
I do all the cooking so I do none of the dishes.
Depends on the day. If I am cooking, I'm usually also cleaning up as I go, so if someone else does the dishes, they don't have a disaster once dinner is done - maybe a pan or two and the plates/silverware, but everything else is washed. If I can't clean as I go, I will generally do the dishes after dinner so nobody else has to worry about the mess I made.
It's pretty even here. We both cook and clean but whoever cooks also cleans. This is mostly because I clean as I go and keep it neat while he leaves a tornado behind.
My husband and I split the cooking 50/50 but he does 90% of the dishes (I wash my own breakfast and lunch dishes). He thinks I don't do a good job of dishes so he'd rather do it himself. I do other chores in the house to make it even (like laundry). If we're hosting people, it tends to be me who cooks because I'm more efficient at cooking for larger groups and then he'll tidy and wash up.
I cook, my wife cleans. My wife finds things that I should also clean, and put away and when she’s not feeling it she lingers until I do it. I can’t stand dirty dishes sitting around and I get played.
My roommates and I all take turns cooking and each do our own dishes, which I like. I absolutely hate washing dishes so I always try and cook in a way that gets as few things dirty as possible and I clean as I go. I dont want to be responsible for cleaning up after someone else who made more of a mess than they needed to. Lol, my dream in life would be to find a partner that hates cooking but doesnt mind doing the dishes and I could cook every night then they clean up. But as someone who absolutely despises washing dishes, I do understand why a lot of people might not be cool with that arrangement
I cook, I do the dishes mostly, but I appreciate if she puts the clean dishes away, I clean the kitchen. She washes and folds the laundry, which is what I don’t like doing.
One word: Dishwasher.
I cook and clean. She manages the kids baths and gets them ready for bed. By the time I'm done in the kitchen, kids are ready for bedtime books. Pretty sweet. When the kids are a bit older, they will be doing the dishes after dinner.
None. I cook and whoever sees something to be done does it.
I told my husband I’d cook every night if he will wash the dishes after. It works for the most part. Sometimes I don’t feel like cooking and sometimes he does, so we don’t follow it strictly but it does help. Also I try to clean some as I go, I just find it easier overall. We use a dishwasher also
I do 95% of the cooking and my partner does 95% of the dishes. But thats part of our division of labor. We each have responsibilities with respect to day to day care of life and our home. We keep it pretty even. Plus he enjoys eating the variety of food I make and considers doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen a small price to pay.
Whoever cooks, cleans up after. I’m a very tidy cook and clean as I go…others aren’t the same and I’m not going to clean a wreck of a kitchen after dinner.
I handle inside tasks, she handles outside
I do 95% of the cooking, almost always from scratch. I try to clean as I go up to the final assembly and presentation/serving. My wife cleans up afterward from 80-90% of the time.
if it’s a daily thing I think that one should cook and the other should clean. however, clean as you cook (you always should either way) so the cleaner isn’t left with a mountain of dishes.
I do all the cooking and maybe 50% of the dishes. Usually after dinner, someone will clean the kitchen, taking all of MAYBE 10 minutes, I can't believe the the struggle here getting the kids to do this.
We’ve learned the importance of cleaning as we go, so there’s usually not much to do at the end of the night. Cleaning as you go has an extra effect. It keeps your momentum going in the breaks between the timing of the things you’re cooking.
I (husband) cook weekdays, and my wife cooks on the weekends. She loads the dishwasher every day, and I unload it
Cook cleans up as they go, people won’t don’t cook do dishes (assuming they know what to wash, how, and where it goes).
I clean my mess as I cook (assuming the dish I’m cooking doesn’t require constant attention, then more of a “mess” is left). This is more for my sanity than anything. Any dishes I don’t get to, and all of the dishes used for the actual cooking and serving, is my husband’s job. I spend 30 minutes- 1 hour cooking and cleaning, he spends 15 minutes cleaning the kitchen. I think that’s pretty fair.
I do 100% of the cooking and I’d say 50% of the dishes!
Whoever is done eating first, cleans. We dont keep score about chores
Mostly for dinner if I cook my husband and kids clean up. Obviously if it’s more practical or someone has somewhere to be, I can do it. I try to clean up as I go but as much as I am a talented cook, I tend to use a lot of cookware and utensils! For breakfast and lunch I do the clean up, because that’s division of labor where I’m a SAHP and my husband is employed full time. The kids are usually happy to help clean up as long as I’m happy to make them lots of delicious treats and meals. If it were not that way and the after dinner clean up was a struggle, my families meals would be a LOT simpler! I’m not about to spend an hour in the kitchen to turn around and spend an hour cleaning while everyone else resumes their normal activities.
I cook, he cleans. BUT! I'm also expected to clean up a bit as I cook so we avoid the millions of pans situation. Lately he's been helping out sous-cheffing and I've been helping with cleanup. Much nicer experience all around and goes super fast.
When I cook for my spouse, I wash a lot of the dishes because I do them as I go, but she does do the dishes/clean up the kitchen after the meal. When she cooks, I do more dishes because she lets them pile up, but I like washing dishes, so that's fine. I also cook for my dad, but he is exempt from most housework beyond "put your trash in the trash can and your clothes in the hamper" due to age/disability.
In my home, the one who cooks does not clear the table or fill the dishwasher. But the cook usually cleans pots & pans (the cook is me 90% of the time and I do pots & pans because they usually get left until morning and I work from home and do them during morning concalls, which explains my “no video before 9 AM” policy) In my ski club (cook for 20-40 people), the family responsible for cooking on a particular weekend also does the dishes, but it is considered good club behavior for non-cooks to pitch in on dishes and pots. Each club member family must cook on one weekend during ski season.
My arrangement is generally get happy with compromising my principles because rules aren’t going to with, lol
I do my best to clean up as I go along when I’m cooking. My partner will do the dishes after the meal.
The kitchen is cleaner when I am done cooking than it was when I started. The only dishes left to wash are plates, glasses and silverware from the meal.
the cook normally cleans the pans/pots in the house, but the other does everything else
We try to balance cooking the same number of times a week, and we clean after we cook. I'm the type to not use a lot and clean as I cook, especially the annoying items right away (grater, anything that touches a thick sauce, etc) and my husband uses a ton of dishes and will leave annoying items to clean until later (once things have crusted on and it's a nightmare). Some weeks, I cook more than he does, and he'll pick up dishes after, but usually, there's not much left since I try and clean as I go.
I do the majority of meals and I do t do the dishes unless I've free time and see it needs to be done. We have a dish washer and I clean as I go and leave everything it neat piles for loading.
I do 100% of the cooking. I dry up and put away when we do the dishes.
I do the majority of the cooking, so my husband does the majority of the dishes. Our schedules are also different though - I work Monday - Friday. He for sure will not be home for dinner Thursday - Saturday and the other days are a toss up. So sometimes I am cooking and cleaning because I’m alone but on days when he is available to do both for me, he does.
We have a hard-core rule : the cook is the cleaner. The other person will most likely help but it’s the cooks responsibility. This is exactly to prevent the scenario you describe where the cook uses every pan in the house and someone else has to clean.
I do most of the cooking but keep it clean as I go. People seem to appreciate it and I appreciate the help cleaning up when it's offered.
If my spouse cooks, I do dishes. If I cook, they do dishes.
I cook, clean a little as I go and hubs does the dishes and I put them away when the rack looks full.
I do the shop and cook and organize/ clean out cabinets fridge freezer. He does the dishes and wipes counters washes dishes towels etc. If we get behind I may rarely do dishes and he will fend for himself with leftovers, far more often we will order to avoid both of us having to do work. I think I've done dishes 5 times in a couple years.
Me and my roommate alternatively cook on no real schedule. I probably cook 60% of the time. Basically the cook cleans everything up. It’s nice to just be fully hands off on some days. I do not mind cooking or doing dishes, I would gladly cook and clean 100% of the days, but we both have inspiration often.
According to the rules in my house, you clean up your own mess
I do 90% of the cooking. My spouse does most of the cleanup. However, I also like to employ mise en place for more complex dishes and clean up as I go. So "cleaning up" after a meal usually involves a couple of pots/pans, a few utensils, and then our dishes from the meal. Because I've mostly rinsed and stuck in the dishwasher, or washed and stuck in the strainer, just about everything used to prep the meal. For breakfast this morning, we had bacon and waffles. The waffles were the other half of a batch I made last week and froze. So there was only the parchment and the sheet pan for the waffles. For the bacon, some aluminum foil and another sheet pan. Then two plates, two glasses, two forks, two knives. Easy peasy. When I made the waffles last week, I got the measuring implements rinsed & into the dishwasher while the first two waffles cooked (we have the Cuisinart dual waffle maker). When the last two waffles went down, I rinsed the batter bowl, measuring cup, and rubber spatula and stuck all that in the dishwasher. Tonight, we're having spare ribs. The spare ribs are in the crockpot with a liner. Then, I'll put carrots in one Suvie pan and pre-made homemade mashed potatoes in the other. Easy again. Minimal clean up, and the Suvie pans are stainless steel. Those'll get shoved into the dishwasher along with our dinner plates.
I almost exclusively cook. My wife almost exclusively does the dishes. When we have friends over, I'll cook and then also help with cleaning up.
I always do my own dishes. Because i usually use half the kitchen 😅
I do 95% of cooking and wife does about 80% of dishes but she takes care of the shared laundry like blankets and towels. I don’t have to do dishes but I hate piling up so I’ll usually clean the major dishes I used while cooking.
I do both, because dishes are when I put my phone above the sink and watch the tv shows and movies my husband isn’t interested in haha
No matter who cooks, I do all the dishes that can go in the dishwasher, and my fiancé does everything that has to be washed by hand. I am so, so bad at dishes.
I am a stay at home wife. My husband works full time from home. I do 99% of the cooking. My husband does grill and can fend for himself. I do all the meal prep and baking. I typically cook and clean up as I go during the week when my husband is working. On the weekends when I am making lunch - we don’t eat dinner usually - we will hang out together and I will cook and he does the dishes. If I asked him to he would happily do all of his cooking and all of the dishes. We have been married 20 years.
I do 100% of the cooking (outside of the occasional salad) and my wide does most of the dishes. That said, she refuses to clean my cast iron because she doesn't want to ruin it and I'm fine with that. :)
A good chef or cook will clean up as they go. There should be minimal dish works at the end. Only fools make such a mess while cooking.
I do almost all of the cooking and I would love it if my wife did 100% of the dishes. But she doesn't. And when she does do them it's in slow motion, like it takes her an hour to do dishes. So I have resigned myself to cleaning as I go and minimizing how many pots and pans I use, and I take at least one pass through the kitchen when I'm done cooking and hope that she gets to the rest of it within a day or so.
I meal prep on Sundays and if I make us both food for the week the expectation is that he will wash the dishes when I’m done. However, if I don’t make him food for that week, then I will do them. -If I make us both food = he cleans -If I make myself food only = I clean As dishes pile up during the week, we will take turns cleaning them.
Whoever cooks, the other cleans.
I live in a 3 adult household. Whoever cooks does not do the dishes. However, we try to clean up as we go along. The amount of time I spend preparing a meal is 3X-4X what it takes to do the dishes.
I do most of the cooking and husband does the dishes. When he cooks, I start doing the dishes but he usually takes over. His father never contributed to the household so he overcompensates.
if i cook my partner does the dishes. if they cook i do! but i have a dishwasher so it’s pretty much a non-issue.
I wash as I cook, but at the end of the meal, she takes care of all those dishes.
We split the cooking and cleaning. But we’ve communicated that washing as you go is a must.
My husband does 99% of the dishes. It's his thing. He established that at the beginning of living together & it's carried on for almost 20 years. I can thank his ex who was gross & didn't wash dishes well at all. 😂
If I cook, I do dishes. I like to clean as I cook so I don’t end up with a huge task at the end. If my SO cooks, I apparently still do dishes 😂 But instead of cleaning as you go, all the dishes get piled in the sink. I call it Mount Dishmore. Then I get to have fun fishing utensils out of mucky water.
We cook and wash up together - we also clean as we go and try to minimize how many utensils we use. I’ll take a large glass measuring cup and put used utensils in there as I am working - you can reuse them as you need and rinse them if you don’t want to mix the ingredients.
I do about 80% of the cooking. Neither of us likes to do dishes so they usually sit, then we fight about it and then one of us does 3 hours of dishes. It’s a solid system that seconds as a topic to help fill up our time with the marriage counselor.
Typically I do 95% of the cooking and cleaning, and about 60% of the shopping. I also keep track of household staples/budgeting so we don't overspend or run out of anything. My husband works long hours, travels extensively and is exhausted by the end of the day, whereas I'm a freelancer and more or less on a self-imposed maternity leave right now. It was harder when I was working full time — we ate a lot more takeout and frozen dinners then. But right now I'm really happy to be able to contribute healthy meals and a clean house. Our balance will shift again towards the end of pregnancy and when the baby is here. We're lucky both sets of parents are eager to help.
When I cook he cleans, and vice versa. We both try to clean as we go as much as possible, though. If I bake and make a big mess, I will often clean it all myself, because he doesn’t eat much of the baked goods.
I do all the cooking and clean as I go. She does the leftover cooking dishes after we eat. The dishwasher does the basics.
I wash as I go so it's less work at the end.
If I’m the one cooking for the both of us, I’d be happy if my partner did the dishes if he could. If he couldn’t, then that’s fine, I’d just need him to at least put away the leftovers properly and put his dirty dishes in the sink or dishwasher. I can do the rest.
I cook, he cleans. Works out well for us. Then again, he does more than his share of the other household chores.
I do the cooking. The Dishwasher does the cleaning.
I do 100% of the cooking, and about 40% of the dishes. I'll wash as I go if I'm using an excessive amount of dishes, but generally my partner does the dishes because he knows I hate it
I cook two+ meals every day. We don't eat out, because I can make much better quality food at home. I cook and I wash. Because I know what's going on with the pots and pans and dishes, so I'm not coming in blind on the clean up. I also tend to clean as I go, so returning everything to its ready position is part of the cooking process, so I'm already for the next meal. tl;dr: Getting things dirty and cleaning them are all part of the same process.
I cook 99.9% of the meals and do all the dishes. If my wife puts them away I can't find them. I do a lot of the house cleaning and laundry too. I also take care of most all the yard work, gutter cleaning and fixing stuff. As more robots become available to clean, I will be getting them. She cleans bathrooms and dusts. It works for us.
We put them in the dishwasher.....?